These portraits of futurists prove that the future we imagined is already here

October 15, 2015, 6:34 am

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The future is here.

Photographer David Vintiner’s latest photo project, Futurists, shares the stories of the people who are living all the stuff we imagined we’d have in a hundred years time.

Except they’re doing it now. And we didn’t even know about them.

This quiet group of people are called Futurists. They’re interested in the future and how we’re going to shape it, with a passion for fancy tech stuff like nanotech, genetics, computing, robotics, and geo-engineering.

Here’s what people from 1900 thought the world would look like today

David told metro.co.uk: ‘I’m always fascinated by enthusiastic amateurs and people who… Read the full story

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Are they shrinking our favourite chocolate bars? An investigation

October 15, 2015, 6:40 am

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We all know it. It’s the big chocolate conspiracy. They’ve been slowly reducing the size of our chocolate bars for years, right?

A recent poll of 500 Brits found that 79.8 per cent of us believe our favourite chocolate is getting smaller, while 11.6 per cent think it’s stayed the same, and 8.6 per cent think it’s bigger than ever.

So, Appliance City set out to investigate the truth about chocolate size – one favourite at a time.

Yorkie

Aka the worst one.

The original Yorkie bar weighed 58g back in the 1970s, and over time shrunk to 52g, before increasing to a whopping 70g in the 2000s before settling at its current weight of 46g.

Read the full story

16 jobs that all retail workers are expected to do but get no thanks for

October 15, 2015, 7:28 am

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All retail workers will know that there is far more to working in a shop than stacking shelves and scanning barcodes. 

Being a retail assistant requires you to take on a multitude of roles from a diplomatic problem solver right through to a patient counsellor.

None of this, of course, is in your minimum wage contract – but there’s a reason that working in a shop is far more stressful than people realise.

Here are just some of the roles you are expected to take on aside from making sales and keeping that shopfloor in order.

And you never seem to get recognition for them…

1. A mind-reader

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22 classic British puddings ranked from worst to best

October 15, 2015, 7:53 am

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Who doesn’t love dessert?

We all do! I think about what I’m having for pudding quite often and have given what my top choices would be quite a bit of thought.

So take a look at these 22 well known puds, they’ve been ranked from worst to best in my book but really I’d take any of them if I’m honest.

So we’re saying the worst is not even that bad, because pretty much anything tastes great with warm custard on it, right?

Here’s 22 classic British puddings ranked from worst to best.

22. Baked Apples 

Read the full story

Comedian writes list of all the nonsensical things women hear in their lifetime and it’s bang on

October 15, 2015, 8:05 am

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There are days when trying to live up to society’s expectations of you can be exhausting.

Sometimes, it can feel like no choice we make is ever going to be okay.

Which is what inspired Londoner and stand-up comedian Bisha K. Ali to write her Facebook post, where she lists all the conflicting pieces of unsolicited advice women will be given in their lifetime, from childhood to motherhood (or not) and beyond.

Or to use Bisha’s working title: ‘Everything Is Bullsh*t So Do Whatever You Want’.

‘You’re so adorable! You’re gonna be a heartbreaker one day,’ the post begins, before warning: ‘If you want to get a boyfriend you’re better… Read the full story

6 girls answer the questions boys want to know about female masturbation

October 15, 2015, 8:51 am

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It seems there’s quite a lot of fascination for the world of female masturbation.

Perhaps that’s because girls don’t feel the need to chat about it as they’re enjoying their morning coffee, or perhaps they just don’t feel it’s necessary information to share.

For some, it’s just way too personal. And really, what’s the need for others to know what we fantasise about when we finally get a bit of ahem.. alone time?

But, scrolling through Twitter, it seems the male population is still genuinely intrigued as to what masturbation means for a woman.

And so, we thought we’d clear up this huge dilemma by answering all of these really important questions.

We asked six girls the most popular masturbation questions guys wanted the answers to.

Beth, 23, Eve, 20, Chloe 18, Lia, 25, Lucie 25, and Lorna, 20, have opened up to us about their most intimate, personal experiences.

1. Do girls masturbate?

Do girls masturbate?… Read the full story

14 things you know when you move back in with your parents after uni

October 15, 2015, 8:51 am

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Chances are, as a teenager you didn’t picture being stuck at home with mum and dad in your 20s.

Your 20s were meant to play like an episode of Friends – funny adventures, a decent job and an incredible flat.

But with insane rent prices and a bleak job market, it’s tricky living your out your dreams after uni.

Instead, many people are moving back to the family home just until they get stuff figured out.

Which takes a lot longer than you’d anticipate and, before you know it, you’ve regressed to your teenage self and see no way of getting out.

Though, admittedly, there are some… Read the full story

Girl posts sexy leg picture on Facebook; dad responds perfectly

October 15, 2015, 9:04 am

≫ Next: Fallen in love on the Tube again? Here’s how you should handle your crush without losing your mind

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Just in case you needed any more proof that being friends with your parents on Facebook is a bad idea.

When this girl posted a sexy picture of her lacy socks, next to a warm and cosy cup of coffee and the latest ‘romcom’ about to start on her laptop, she probably didn’t expect her dad to spot it.

We’re guessing she didn’t expect him to recreate it either – complete with hairy legs, spotty socks, golf shorts, and a montage of dog pictures.

And we’re pretty sure she didn’t think her loving sibling would get involved and share the snaps with the world.

The two pictures were posted alongside each other (in the wrong order might… Read the full story

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Fallen in love on the Tube again? Here’s how you should handle your crush without losing your mind

October 15, 2015, 9:10 am

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You don’t know anything about them but you somehow know they are just perfect for you.

You can’t act normal when they’re nearby and your stomach flips when you think about them.

You find ways to mention their name in conversation and smile like an idiot when you talk about them.

You have a crush – and you have no idea how to deal with it.

Crushes are all-consuming, confusing phenomenons. Sometimes you wish the feelings would just go away – they’re just too intense.

So why do they happen and what does it all mean?

Sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox says we tend to develop crushes in response to what else is happening in our lives: they may represent a longing to escape reality and enter an idealised, fairytale world.

‘A crush only remains a crush until we actually get the know the real person,’ she says. ‘Then they quickly change from this magical, perfect person into a real-life person with flaws.’

According… Read the full story

27 things people who don’t want kids are tired of hearing

October 15, 2015, 9:15 am

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Admitting you’re not having kids is a surefire way to make you the centre of attention for a good ten minutes. Not in a good way. 

Mention you’re not planning to have kids, sit back, and prepare for an onslaught of intrusive questions, opinions you definitely didn’t ask for, and a bunch of reassurance about how you’re definitely going to develop an overwhelming need to procreate in the next few years.

We’re tired of it. People, please be sympathetic to your child-free-by-choice friends. Stop saying this stuff.

1. ‘You’ll change your mind when you’re older’

I mean, maybe. It’s possible. But can you imagine the horror if we told people with kids that THEY will probably change their mind about their choice one day?

It’s just a bit rude to tell people you know their minds better than they do, really.

2. ‘You’ll feel different when you have your own kids’

Possible. But… Read the full story

Here’s how to make sure you don’t keep getting stabbed by your own bra

October 15, 2015, 9:48 am

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Bras. Our greatest friends and supporters, when they’re saving us from back pain and ensuring we have plenty o’ cleavage to fill out a freakum dress.

But occasionally, bras are the devil, in underwire and strap form. Like when they’re digging in to your shoulders or losing their magical elastic qualities after a month.

Or, worst of all, when they turn against you, and become vicious stabbing machines.

Yep, we’re talking about the curse of the poking underwire.

In marvellous news to us all, crafty vlogger Jennifer Priest has answered your lazy underwear related wishes, showing you how to fix any bra… Read the full story

This guy is selling his house on Facebook and offering a share of £1,000 to anyone who helps him

October 15, 2015, 10:24 am

≫ Next: World Bread Day: 15 reasons to love bread

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After previously putting his apartment up for rent on Facebook, and it being a hugely successful idea, Facebook user Josh Hocking has once again decided to offer another property.

He’s also offering a share of £1,000 whoever helps him sell it, by sharing the post.

Unfortunately, he’s not actually giving away £1,000 to everybody who shares it (which is a good job because it’s had almost 40,000 shares already) no, just to the person who actually gets him the sale.

The two-bedroom property is located in St Annes, Lancashire.

MORE: Girl posts sexy leg picture on Facebook; dad responds perfectly

Josh says it is one of the oldest properties in the area, with so much character throughout.

With a brand… Read the full story

World Bread Day: 15 reasons to love bread

October 15, 2015, 11:00 pm

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Happy World Bread Day!

Let’s face it, bread is probably the best food in entire world.

Which other food can claim dating back to at least 30,000 years?

Which other food has a saying coined after it in order to demonstrate greatness ie the best thing since sliced bread?

Which other food can be enjoyed hot, cold, fried, with oils, with crisps and works so well as a hangover food?

Not convinced yet? We bet you can’t get through this post without wanting to nibble at least one chunk of bread.

1. So many varieties

When it comes to bread, variety really is the spice of life.

There is no such thing as ever becoming bored of this delicious food type,… Read the full story

OMG: Everyone’s favourite childhood toy car is now adult-sized, roadworthy, and for sale

October 15, 2015, 11:37 pm

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Your favourite childhood car is all grown-up. And it’s amazing.

Yes, the bright red ‘Cozy Coupe’ Little Tikes car that used to be on every kid’s Christmas list is now available in an adult-sized, roadworthy version.

It still has its yellow top, giant windows and chunky wheels. But, as well as losing the cartoon eyes on the front, it now takes petrol, requires road tax and goes at 70mph.

So, this:

Has become this:

Mechanic John Bitmead and his brother Geoff from Attitude Autos actually made the real-life adult version of the classic children’s toy back in November 2013 – but now they’ve put it up… Read the full story

This little girl has already won Halloween with her incredible costumes

October 15, 2015, 11:49 pm

≫ Next: Glaswegians officially have the sexiest accent in Britain

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Give up, it’s too late. Don’t even bother trying to find a costume this year.

It was probably going to be hastily put together and a bit rubbish anyways.

It doesn’t matter how hard you try – Halloween has already been won. By a three-year-old called Willow.

If you haven’t heard, October is actually #DressUpWillowMonth. And the wee tot has been killing it each October since her very first Halloween.

Back then she made a pretty cute ‘hot dog on a stick girl’.

And we’ll bet your bottom dollar that you’ve never seen an Annie this good.

Read the full story

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Glaswegians officially have the sexiest accent in Britain

October 15, 2015, 11:54 pm

≫ Next: 15 things you’ll only know if you drive to work

≪ Previous: This little girl has already won Halloween with her incredible costumes

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If you’ve found yourself lusting after a lad or lass with a Glaswegian accent, you’re not alone.

They’ve just been voted the sexiest accent in Britain, winning 23 per cent of the vote in a survey by British Airways of 1,000 Americans.

Though if you’re from Liverpool you’re still in with a chance of wooing a Yank – a fifth of them can’t tell the difference between a Glasweigian and Scouse accent.

Silly Americans.

Mind you, 40 per cent of Brits thought the Canadian accent was Texan, so we really can’t judge.

They also thought the Geordie accent was the most intelligent out of the bunch.

Read the full story

15 things you’ll only know if you drive to work

October 16, 2015, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Feel the force with these Star Wars shower heads

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No one likes going to work, but those with a regular commute know the true meaning of pain.

It’s not just the end destination – it’s the journey itself. From aggravating road works to traffic delays and being blamed for absolutely everything, drivers get a raw deal.

Below we list 15 things you only know if you drive to work.

1. Frost is your worst enemy

You didn’t factor in the ten minutes it takes to scrape the ice off your windscreen, did you?

2. Dustbin men don’t drive to work

If they did, they’d pull in and let you get past their lorry instead of making you stop at every, single, house.

3. Driving instructors hate you

Why… Read the full story

Feel the force with these Star Wars shower heads

October 16, 2015, 12:25 am

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This is truly a great time to be alive. Because now you can shower in the spray from Darth Vader’s mask.

In the run up to the release to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, it seems there’s nothing they can’t or won’t commercialise.

Hence why you can now awaken your own force every morning with these Darth Vader and R2D2 shower heads.

Both shower heads come in three different spray settings. But, the Vader version is handheld – presumably so you can reach round to clean your dark side.

These ultimate shower accessories are being sold internationally – and possibly intergalatically – by Bed Bath & Beyond.

R2D2 will set you back £17.12,… Read the full story

This is why the McFlurry spoon has a big ol’ hollow bottom (spoiler: it’s not a straw)

October 16, 2015, 1:10 am

≫ Next: McDonald’s new silver Modern China burger looks pretty grim tbf

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If, like us, you’ve tried – and failed – approximately 54,789 times to suck your McFlurry out of the hollow square end of the McFlurry spoon, then listen up.

Because, apparently, McDonald’s didn’t put that big ol’ hollow bottom on their spoons so you could use it like a straw.

We know.

It is the greatest question of our times (okay possibly the second greatest after ‘where is the s*dding Isle of Fernando’s?).

Why do McFlurry spoons have a square hole at the end? 

@maccas what the meaning of the extras plastic on the mcflurry spoon pic.twitter.com/NsXYECYljj

— Ali Choueiki (@alichoueiki98) October 8, 2015

Because it should be a straw. 

Read the full story

McDonald’s new silver Modern China burger looks pretty grim tbf

October 16, 2015, 1:48 am

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Bap’s enough, guys.

Some are calling it the grey burger. Others, more generously, are calling it the silver burger. But here at Metro.co.uk we’re calling it a coloured burger too far.

The burger in question is McDonald’s new Modern China burger, which, as the name suggests, is only available in China.

Away from the gimmicks of the grey/ silver/ speckled bun, the burger is made up of slow cooked pork in a sesame bun, and doesn’t sound too bad if pork’s your thing.

The real problem is this – in reality, the burger looks very little like the promotional image. Check these out…

Bleurgh

 

At least give it some filter, dude

 

Yeah,… Read the full story