Articles on this Page
- 09/13/18--07:56: _Town in California ...
- 09/13/18--08:07: _People are sharing ...
- 09/13/18--08:15: _Are you ready for b...
- 09/13/18--08:39: _Gran’s hilarious vi...
- 09/13/18--09:45: _Childbirth ‘horror ...
- 09/13/18--22:36: _Oasis is launching ...
- 09/13/18--23:10: _Is the EasyAvo actu...
- 09/13/18--23:41: _Aldi’s new cast iro...
- 09/14/18--00:50: _Librarians share th...
- 09/14/18--01:15: _Making your bed cou...
- 09/14/18--01:30: _I was traumatised b...
- 09/14/18--01:51: _‘Fat shaming’ sweat...
- 09/14/18--02:52: _A half-marathon has...
- 09/14/18--03:20: _Living with POCD: A...
- 09/14/18--03:51: _Marc Jacobs apologi...
- 09/14/18--04:12: _Britain’s most expe...
- 09/14/18--04:16: _Women tell us why a...
- 09/14/18--05:17: _‘Brexfit’ is the ne...
- 09/14/18--05:27: _Couple marry as Woo...
- 09/14/18--05:34: _Couples are staying...
- 09/13/18--07:56: Town in California chooses Max the golden retriever to be its mayor
- 09/13/18--08:07: People are sharing photos celebrating their #Hurrication
- 09/13/18--22:36: Oasis is launching a plus-size collection
- 09/13/18--23:10: Is the EasyAvo actually any easier to peel?
- 09/13/18--23:41: Aldi’s new cast iron cookware is a budget-friendly Le Creuset dupe
- 09/14/18--01:15: Making your bed could be the key to improving your sex life
- 09/14/18--03:51: Marc Jacobs apologises for late New York Fashion Week show
- 09/14/18--04:12: Britain’s most expensive bungalow comes with its own dental practice
- 09/14/18--04:16: Women tell us why abortion clinics need buffer zones
- 09/14/18--05:27: Couple marry as Woody and Buzz at Disney themed wedding
‘He is super friendly and he lets my son give him treats’ is not the usual review one hears of a mayor, but then Mayor Max is no ordinary town official.
In 2012, the small town of Idyllwild, California elected its very first Mayor, an exceptionally good boy named Max who also happens to be a golden retriever.
Is there anything more heart-crushingly adorable and noble than a dog with a job?
Idyllwild is a non-incorporated town, meaning they aren’t eligible for ordinary municipal elections. But frankly who wants ordinary municipal elections when you can see Max patrolling about and turning up to ribbon-cuttings?
Max has fun, sure, but he has his responsibilities too. His job description includes promising to promote the mountain community, support commissioners in their projects, be present at community events such as festivals and parades, do his best to accept invitations for official visits, and speak out on behalf of the animals of the mountain, domesticated and non-domesticated.
Other duties include receiving scratches, pats and rubs, and of course doling out friendly licks to the deserving citizens.
When his duties get a little overwhelming, Max can always count on his two deputy mayors, Mikey and Mitzi, who are also dogs.
Together the trio and their human Chief of Staff, Phyllis Mueller, keep Idyllwild a loving and pleasant place to live.
‘His role is to make the world a better place by conveying unconditional love and doing as many good deeds for others,’ Phyllis tells ABC.
Who’s a good mayor? You are, Max.
As Hurricane Florence is set to devastate parts of North and South Carolina in the U.S, many people are fleeing the areas after a state of emergency evacuation was declared.
But some are seeing the sunshine in the storm. People have been taking to Instagram to share their #hurrication (that’s a hurricane vacation) photos, taking the hurricane as a chance to take a holiday to escape the weather.
There are now 11,041 hurrication posts on Instagram of people enjoying the last few days before the storm hits.
They’re drinking beers after putting up their shutters, packing their bags, and hanging out with their neighbours.
Some people have also used the tag to detail their journeys to safety, away from their homes.
Lyndsey Marshall posed with her friends as they enjoyed a drink of beer during Oktoberfest.
‘Cheers to hoping hurricane Florence is kind to us here in Charleston,’ she wrote, while her followers wished them luck ahead of the storm.
One mum posed with her daughter and dog and revealed she forgot to take a leash to the hotel they are currently staying at.
Brave residents who have stayed at home and are unable to get to school and work are enjoying their staycation watching films, reading, and preparing their houses.
Mum Beth Valencia took her children to Florida and shared an image of the family home they’re leaving behind.
‘We seriously live in best neighbourhood,’ she wrote.
‘This morning the men (and some women too) worked together and put up six and a half houses worth of hurricane shutters, ours included.
‘Our house is boarded up and we are taking the kids to Florida while the in-laws and neighbours hold the fort down at home. Hurrication memories to be made again this year!’
As the hurricane is set to hit today, Instagrammers have used the last few days to also document their favourite parts of their home states.
One blogger posed near the city marina, saying: ‘Florence, don’t take our city.’
Others also used the tag to alert followers that their businesses were closed during the violent weather.
Florence has now weakened to a Category 2 storm but winds of 110mph are still posing a huge threat to life and property.
SEI_29660631-07a3SEI_29660631-07a3faimabakar1Tweeting on September 12, 2018, from aboard the International Space Station, ESA astronaut Alexander Gerst shared: "Ever stared down the gaping eye of a category 4 hurricane? It's chilling, even from space. #HurricaneFlorence #Horizons" Photo by Alexander Gerst/ESA/NASA/UPIPHOTOGRAPH BY UPI / Barcroft Images
It’s hard to keep up with makeup trends on Instagram.
Just when you’ve mastered one, a new one comes along. Some of them, like the ‘instaception’, don’t really seem worth the faff.
At least the ‘blank canvas’ look is easier to achieve.
This look involves painting nearly all of your face white except one area around the eye.
In the uncovered bit, the same space a paintbrush stroke would make, you can leave your normal makeup on.
The finished result is a pretty impressive illusion.
The trend began with 22-year-old makeup artist Jack Emory.
He completed the edgy look with rainbow eyes, perfect highlighter and half-filled lips.
Soon enough, other artists and ordinary folks jumped on the bandwagon and now the #blankcanvas hashtag has 163,339 posts.
Jack’s massive following, of which there are 510,000 users, praised him for his innovation.
The post has over 67,000 likes and almost 2,000 comments complimenting the creativity.
‘Oh my God, I love this so much! It’s stunning, beautiful, magical! I definitely want to recreate this,’ said one user.
Another Instagrammer had a suggestion for the blogger: ‘I think it would’ve been cooler if you used a white contact lens in one eye, but it’s still absolutely amazing! Good job!’
If you want to jump on the trend then grab some white face paint and get creative.
Who knows, it might even work as a Halloween costume.
Halloween face paint trend on instagramHalloween face paint trend on instagramfaimabakar1
Most parents will know the drudgery of reading the same old stories to their little ones at bedtime.
For this Scottish granny, the Wonky Donkey children’s book was just what she needed to give a laugh to story time.
A video of Janice Clark reading the book to her grandson has gone viral, and the book has sold out as a result.
Janice couldn’t contain her laughter getting to the end of the Wonky Donkey tongue-twister.
What starts as a simple sentence ends up in having to say ‘spunky, hanky-panky, cranky, stinky, dinky, lanky, honky-tonky, winky, wonky donkey’. Try saying that after a beer or two.
The book was originally released in 2009, and had sold a million copies worldwide. Since Janice’s video, however, it has completely sold out.
Sellers on Amazon have put second-hand copies up for over £291, hoping to cash in on its whirlwind recent success.
Author Craig Smith did say that his team were ‘rushing to print another 50,000 copies, with a view for more,’ so thankfully parents won’t have to fork out nearly £300 to get their hands on it.
Reviewers online clearly agree with Janice, with one saying they ‘find it hard to to giggle whilst reading’ and another that it sends her three-year-old into ‘fits of giggles every time.’
Although it’s recommended for younger readers, Janice’s reaction shows it’s clearly fun for all ages.
At the British Science Festival, one particular topic is dominating the conversation.
Speaking at the conference yesterday was Catriona Jones, a senior research fellow at the University of Hull, who raised concerns on how sharing childbirth horror stories online is causing more and more women to be afraid of giving birth.
The condition is called tocophobia, and according to a study by the Nordic Federation of Obstretrics and Gynecology, 14% of women suffer with it worldwide.
And the figure has been rising steadily since the start of 2000.
In an interview with the Independent, Jones claims that social media is a key factor, with the availability of negative experiences influencing budding mums. She called it the ‘tsunami of horror stories’.
Jones said: ‘If you go into Mumsnet forums, women are telling stories about childbirth — “it’s terrible, it’s a bloodbath”. I think that can be difficult to deal with.’
Responding to the comments made by Jones, founder and CEO of Mumsnet, Justine Roberts, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘We’ve seen a lot of discussion of this on Mumsnet, and a few things have come through loud and clear from our users.
‘First, they feel strongly that women telling the truth about their experiences is not the same thing as scaremongering. Many have also said that they found a great deal of reassurance and positive birth stories on our childbirth and antenatal forums.
‘And quite a few have said that when it came to their own experiences of traumatic births, being able to talk about it honestly (and anonymously) with other women was an important part of their recovery.
‘If there’s one thing this story has shown, it’s that we need to talk about childbirth – the good and the bad – more, not less.’
Also known as maleusiophobia, parturiphobia and lockiophobia, it’s a psychological disorder with two types: primary and secondary.
The former is for those who have never given birth before, and is often linked to familial issues – such as your mother’s experience – while the latter is usually through some form of traumatic experience – be it a previous childbirth, postpartum depression or other birthing complications.
But sharing childbirth stories is not a new development.
Soo Downe, a professor in midwifery studies at the University of Central Lancashire, tells Metro.co.uk that it’s the lack of balance in the tales that is the issue.
‘Throughout history, women have been telling stories about their childbirth experiences, both bad and good, to their closest friends,’ he says.
‘In the past, any traumatic experiences were contained within a community and often balanced out by positive stories. However, the ubiquity of social media and exposure to viral horror stories now means that the good is often outnumbered by the bad.
‘The rise of popular television programmes and documentaries focussing on childbirth have also contributed to a growing fear of giving birth, and the media’s obsession with depicting traumatic experiences has painted an overly negative picture of the experience.
‘This couldn’t be further from the truth, and the vast majority of pregnant mothers have nothing to worry about.’
Avni Trivedi, an ostepath and doula (birth coach) agrees that talking about birth is important, but that it should be done ‘realistically and without sensationalising it’.
She says: ‘Social media is helpful in bringing conversations into the open. However the style of communication can be more like broadcasting and less reflective than a face-to-face conversation might be. Each woman is different and so are her expectations and personal experience.
‘For women who are suffering with tocophobia, I recommend asking their midwife to refer them for professional help. Some women will need to consider having an elective caesarean section if the fear of birth is so profound. For others, educating the mind and body about birth can help to overcome fear.’
Women who had kids but regret itWomen who had kids but regret itallieabgarianWomen who had kids but regret itpregnant, pregnancy, labour, hospital, delivery room, birthWhy we should care about children?s mental wellbeing - and what we can do to help (Picture: Ella Byworth/ Metro.co.uk) Metro Illustration Illustrations
High-street brand Oasis has announced the launch of its very own plus-size range.
If you’re thinking ‘wait, I swear Oasis already did plus-size clothing’, you’re right – Oasis released a range with Simply Be last year. This collection will be different as it’s just Oasis, not Simply Be, and will have an extended offering. Hooray.
The Oasis Curve collection, launching on 23 September, will go from size 20 to 26, and feature dresses, knitwear, denim, and more.
We don’t yet know all the details of what will be included, but Oasis has released some campaign images that show plenty of prints and bodycon dresses.
There’s just one thing to note: The range will only be available online, meaning you won’t be able to try items on before buying them.
That’s a massive shame. Everyone finds it handy to make sure clothes fit before purchasing them, but that’s especially true for those in larger sizes, who are all too used to sizing discrepancies in the limited plus-size offering on the high street.
Here’s hoping that Oasis will launch the range in-store, too. Their brand director, Sarah Welsh, says Oasis is all about listening to feedback, so we hope they’ll hear customers when they ask for the option to try before buying.
‘Dressing as many customers who love the Oasis brand as possible is incredibly close to our heart,’ says Sarah.
‘We believe that everyone should be able to wear Oasis and feel great in it, and we have had fabulous feedback from our customers about the additional sizes and lengths which we have added to our range.
‘Through listening to our customers, it became increasingly clear that we should extend our offer further to include sizes through 20-26.
‘As a result, we launched an exclusive range with Simply Be last year to great success and are delighted that we have now extended this offer to include more choice, launching on our own website from September.
‘As always, we will listen, learn from and respond to our customers feedback to endeavour to continue to deliver what she wants from Oasis.’
SEC_29663291-70f2SEC_29663291-70f2ellencscottOasis is excited to announce the launch of our new Curve collection. In response to customer demand, Curve will be an ongoing addition to our existing online offering featuring stylish knits, contemporary denim and dresses for all occasions. Oasis Curve launches 23rd September. ???Dressing as many customers who love the Oasis brand as possible is incredibly close to our heart. We believe that everyone should be able to wear Oasis and feel great in it, and we have had fabulous feedback from our customers about the additional sizes and lengths which we have added to our range. Through listening to our customers, it became increasingly clear that we should extend our offer further to include sizes through 20-26. As a result, we launched an exclusive range with Simply Be last year to great success and are delighted that we have now extended this offer to include more choice, launching on our own website from September. As always, we will listen, learn from and respond to our customers feedback to endeavour to continue to deliver what she wants from Oasis.??? - Sarah Welsh, Brand DirectorOasis is excited to announce the launch of our new Curve collection. In response to customer demand, Curve will be an ongoing addition to our existing online offering featuring stylish knits, contemporary denim and dresses for all occasions. Oasis Curve launches 23rd September. ???Dressing as many customers who love the Oasis brand as possible is incredibly close to our heart. We believe that everyone should be able to wear Oasis and feel great in it, and we have had fabulous feedback from our customers about the additional sizes and lengths which we have added to our range. Through listening to our customers, it became increasingly clear that we should extend our offer further to include sizes through 20-26. As a result, we launched an exclusive range with Simply Be last year to great success and are delighted that we have now extended this offer to include more choice, launching on our own website from September. As always, we will listen, learn from and respond to our customers feedback to endeavour to continue to deliver what she wants from Oasis.??? - Sarah Welsh, Brand Director
Yesterday we announced the launch of Tesco’s EasyAvo, a hybrid avocado breed promising to save us from the plight of avocado hand.
Tesco said the EasyAvo has a thicker skin which allows it to be easily pulled away from the flesh, meaning there’s no need to faff about with slicing and scooping avocado for your toast.
They claim that all you have to do is cut your EasyAvo in half, then you can simply peel away the skin by hand.
But is that true? Is the EasyAvo actually any easier to prepare and eat?
We tried it for ourselves, and the rumours are true: The EasyAvo does peel away more easily from the skin.
While with a regular hass avocado attempts to peel by hand will result in little bits of broken off skin, the EasyAvo’s peel is pleasantly smooth. If you’ve got the knack for it, you could probably pull of the entire skin in one go, leaving you with an intact skinless avocado to do with as you please.
There’s a caveat to all that ease, though: You do have to shove your hands and nails into an avocado, which isn’t for everyone.
Yes, it’s satisfying to peel, but if you’re bothered by green gunk on your fingers it’s probably best to stick to a spoon – even if you do choose the EasyAvo to make your scooping a little easier.
The EasyAvo still isn’t as easy as, say, a satsuma. You still can’t pack an avocado in your bag, peel it as you would a banana, and bite right into that creamy green flesh. You’ll still need a knife to cut an EasyAvo in half before you’re able to get into the skin and peel it away.
One more thing to note: The EasyAvo tends to be softer than your average avo, so if you prefer a firm one it might not be for you.
So, to recap: Yes, the EasyAvo could lower your risk of avocado-related injuries, as once you’re done chopping it in half you can get rid of any sharp implements and just peel it with your hands. You might also enjoy the satisfaction of peeling off the skin in one go.
But even with the EasyAvo, you may still want to use a spoon for your scooping, if only to protect your manicure.
You don’t have to be a cooking connoisseur to appreciate aesthetically pleasing cookware.
Fine kitchen equipment might cost a pretty penny but budget supermarket Aldi is giving the fanciest a run for their money.
Aldi’s new cast iron set rivals French manufacturer Le Creuset, so call around your friends for a dinner party and cook up a storm.
After all, you have something to celebrate – you’re saving around £600 (which is what you’d spend for a Le Creuset set) with the Aldi dupe.
The kitchen savvier among us might know that cast iron is the creme de la creme of cookware.
Like Le Creuset pots, each item in the Aldi range is crafted from cast iron and suitable for use with all kinds of heat sources including gas, electric, induction hobs and even solid fuel cookers.
You can even put them in the oven with temperatures of 200 degrees Celsius.
Because of its durability and heat retention properties, which makes it popular among professionals, cast iron can be expensive.
While Le Creuset offers one casserole pot for up to £199, the cheapest of which is £85, you could opt for budget-friendly alternatives.
Aldi’s latest range aims to offer budding chefs the chance to cook with the non-stick equipment. You can buy skillets, grill trays, frying pans, tagines, roasters, and a casserole dish which is available for £12.99.
The most you’ll have to fork out for the dupes – which includes a tagine pot – is £25.
The range is available to pre-order online from 16 September then in stores from 20 September.
Aldi cookware rangeAldi cookware rangefaimabakar1Cast Iron Cookware RangeCastIron Casserole DishLarge Cast Iron Tagine
In the days before Google, how did people find out answers to important questions?
They went to the library, of course – and not just to look up their area of interest in an encyclopedia.
At the New York Public Library, librarians look after a service that allows people to call up and ask whatever questions they desperately need an answer for.
When someone calls the number, a live librarian will use their library archives to try to find an answer.
These days, most people do just head to Google, but thankfully New York librarians have taken it upon themselves to memorialise some of the best questions they’ve been asked over the years.
The library keeps record of all the strange and wonderful questions librarians get asked over the phone, keeping them written on notes in an ‘unusual questions’ file.
Take a look at some of the questions that baffled librarians below.
FUNNY QUESTIONS - LIBRARIANSFUNNY QUESTIONS - LIBRARIANSellencscottLibrarians at the New York Public Library used to write down questions from the public that were either too difficult or too odd to answer. ***** TNI Press Ltd does not hold or assert any Copyright or License in the attached image. Any fees paid to TNI are for TNI?s services only. Such fee does not, nor is it intended to, convey to the user any Copyright or License in the image. By publishing this image, the user expressly agrees to indemnify TNI against any claims, demands, or causes of action arising from, or connected in any way, with the user's publication of the image.Librarians at the New York Public Library used to write down questions from the public that were either too difficult or too odd to answer. ***** TNI Press Ltd does not hold or assert any Copyright or License in the attached image. Any fees paid to TNI are for TNI???s services only. Such fee does not, nor is it intended to, convey to the user any Copyright or License in the image. By publishing this image, the user expressly agrees to indemnify TNI against any claims, demands, or causes of action arising from, or connected in any way, with the user's publication of the image.Librarians at the New York Public Library used to write down questions from the public that were either too difficult or too odd to answer. ***** TNI Press Ltd does not hold or assert any Copyright or License in the attached image. Any fees paid to TNI are for TNI???s services only. Such fee does not, nor is it intended to, convey to the user any Copyright or License in the image. By publishing this image, the user expressly agrees to indemnify TNI against any claims, demands, or causes of action arising from, or connected in any way, with the user's publication of the image.Librarians at the New York Public Library used to write down questions from the public that were either too difficult or too odd to answer. ***** TNI Press Ltd does not hold or assert any Copyright or License in the attached image. Any fees paid to TNI are for TNI???s services only. Such fee does not, nor is it intended to, convey to the user any Copyright or License in the image. By publishing this image, the user expressly agrees to indemnify TNI against any claims, demands, or causes of action arising from, or connected in any way, with the user's publication of the image.Librarians at the New York Public Library used to write down questions from the public that were either too difficult or too odd to answer. ***** TNI Press Ltd does not hold or assert any Copyright or License in the attached image. Any fees paid to TNI are for TNI???s services only. Such fee does not, nor is it intended to, convey to the user any Copyright or License in the image. By publishing this image, the user expressly agrees to indemnify TNI against any claims, demands, or causes of action arising from, or connected in any way, with the user's publication of the image.Librarians at the New York Public Library used to write down questions from the public that were either too difficult or too odd to answer. ***** TNI Press Ltd does not hold or assert any Copyright or License in the attached image. Any fees paid to TNI are for TNI???s services only. Such fee does not, nor is it intended to, convey to the user any Copyright or License in the image. By publishing this image, the user expressly agrees to indemnify TNI against any claims, demands, or causes of action arising from, or connected in any way, with the user's publication of the image.Librarians at the New York Public Library used to write down questions from the public that were either too difficult or too odd to answer. ***** TNI Press Ltd does not hold or assert any Copyright or License in the attached image. Any fees paid to TNI are for TNI???s services only. Such fee does not, nor is it intended to, convey to the user any Copyright or License in the image. By publishing this image, the user expressly agrees to indemnify TNI against any claims, demands, or causes of action arising from, or connected in any way, with the user's publication of the image.Librarians at the New York Public Library used to write down questions from the public that were either too difficult or too odd to answer. ***** TNI Press Ltd does not hold or assert any Copyright or License in the attached image. Any fees paid to TNI are for TNI???s services only. Such fee does not, nor is it intended to, convey to the user any Copyright or License in the image. By publishing this image, the user expressly agrees to indemnify TNI against any claims, demands, or causes of action arising from, or connected in any way, with the user's publication of the image.Librarians at the New York Public Library used to write down questions from the public that were either too difficult or too odd to answer. ***** TNI Press Ltd does not hold or assert any Copyright or License in the attached image. Any fees paid to TNI are for TNI???s services only. Such fee does not, nor is it intended to, convey to the user any Copyright or License in the image. By publishing this image, the user expressly agrees to indemnify TNI against any claims, demands, or causes of action arising from, or connected in any way, with the user's publication of the image.Librarians at the New York Public Library used to write down questions from the public that were either too difficult or too odd to answer. ***** TNI Press Ltd does not hold or assert any Copyright or License in the attached image. Any fees paid to TNI are for TNI???s services only. Such fee does not, nor is it intended to, convey to the user any Copyright or License in the image. By publishing this image, the user expressly agrees to indemnify TNI against any claims, demands, or causes of action arising from, or connected in any way, with the user's publication of the image.
Making your bed every morning has previously been touted as a way to become more productive.
But new research suggests that even more than super charging your work day, making the bed might improve your sex life. Which we can all agree, is far more exciting.
The research, which was conducted by OnePoll and commissioned by Sleepopolis, took a survey of 2,000 Americans, and then compared their bed making habits to their hobbies, personality traits and yes, how often they’re having sex.
As you might imagine, the wholesome and hard working tend to be bed makers, and the relaxed types with lower standards aren’t.
People who make their beds are about 10 percent more likely to cook, while bed leavers cite watching TV and films to be their favourite activity.
Similarly, those who exercise on the reg choose a healthy diet are more likely to be bed-makers.
As for sex? The study found that people who make their bed have more sex per week than those who leave the bed unmade. Which isn’t really a surprise. It’s always going to be sexier to fall into a freshly made bed with clean sheets than a nest of questionable duvet and sheets.
So if you’re hoping to bring someone home with you, do yourself (and them) a favour. Change the sheets and make the bed. You might boost your chances of getting lucky and you’ll certainly improve the likelihood of the person wanting to come back for round two.
*illustration request* 2. What is hypoactive sexual desire disorder?*illustration request* 2. What is hypoactive sexual desire disorder?rebeccacnreidpeople tell us the things people said during sex that instantly killed the mood
In 1942, revered British (male) obstetrician Grantly Dick-Read published his book Childbirth Without Fear, claiming that ‘childbirth is not a physical function’ and assuring women that they would only experience pain if they were nervous.
While women’s pain is now taken more seriously, we still have a long way to go. Bizarrely, medical professionals still assume that if women just keep quiet about things that hurt or traumatise them, those things would somehow happen less often.
According to a senior researcher at Hull University, the rise of social media and forums such as Mumsnet has contributed to more women requesting caesareans for fear of having a traumatic birth.
This – along with the increase in women suffering from tacophobia, or fear of child birth – has been painted as a problem. As though women must be kept in the dark about the realities of what they may endure to ensure they cannot make an informed choice about what they want.
The Birth Trauma Association estimates that as many as 20,000 women a year in the UK suffer from symptoms of post-traumatic stress related to their delivery, while mental health treatment related to giving birth in any given year costs the NHS £1.2billion.
Yet women are still not given proper information about labour and they are often denied their right to have the birth they want. I would go as far as to call the current situation the ‘natural childbirth conspiracy’: we are constantly told that uncomplicated vaginal delivery without pain relief is the safest option for both mother and baby.
We are led to believe that caesareans are much more dangerous, but only a minority of women can expect that if they opt for a ‘natural’ childbirth everything will go smoothly – at least 60% of all births are classified as ‘assisted’.
When it comes to childbirth, there are no easy options. Surgery is tough, but so is a ‘natural’ delivery. Pushing the baby out of your nether regions, which have to work exceptionally hard to stretch to the right size, with no epidural, can be horrific and have long-term consequences.
Equally, a successful ‘natural’ labour can be pretty great – I have friends who describe their experience as ‘euphoric’. But there are still post-birth complications, such as a prolapse, incontinence, and loss of libido, which are even more of a taboo subject.
When I went into labour in 2005, I was woefully unprepared for the reality of childbirth. I was told that childbirth was unpredictable yet encouraged to write down a birth plan.
There was an assumption that I wanted a natural birth with no epidural. I was never told that it could take three days, and that I could end up delirious with pain and lack of sleep, or that many ‘natural’ deliveries require interventions: either forceps or ventouse, or even, as in my case, both.
No one mentioned I would almost certainly tear or have an episiotomy, yet both midwives and doctors know it happens to more than 85% of their patients.
I tore badly and required stitches. I was told I would need to bring maternity pads to hospital, but not how much I would bleed for weeks afterwards. I had haemorrhoids. I spent months reeling from the trauma of my son’s birth but berated myself for feeling unhappy.
In the end, I resolved not to have any more children.
It was not until years later, when I came across a Mumsnet thread in which women were sharing their birth stories, that I realised I suffered with post-birth PTSD, which went undiagnosed.
I have no doubt that if I had read it before I got pregnant, and I had access to better information from the NHS, I would have had a completely different experience of both giving birth, and post-birth recovery. I might have even decided to have another child.
Whether you are well informed, or in the dark about the mechanics of childbirth, it hurts just the same. But you will only have a happy experience if you have the birth that is right for you, even if that means an elective caesarean.
These are our bodies. This is about adults making an informed choice, based on up to date, unbiased knowledge. It’s about smashing the wall of silence that surrounds childbirth. No woman should be bullied into not sharing her experience.
Anna Tuckett worked as a journalist before becoming a full-time carer for her autistic son. She is currently working on her memoir.
The online fashion retailer responsible for launching a grey sweatshirt that sparked disgust and outrage across social media has confirmed that the whole collection has now been pulled.
Revolve has released a statement following a backlash over the jumper, which bore the slogan: ‘Being fat is not beautiful it’s an excuse’.
The questionable offering from LA-based brand LPA was £162 and modelled by a thin, smiling woman.
Models Felicity Hayward and Tess Holliday condemned the garment and its message, while others were quick to dub it ‘fatphobic’ and ‘messed up’.
One tweet read: ‘What kind of sad, self-loathing person wears a shirt like that?
‘My answer to that shirt and the person who would wear it is: I may be fat. But you are rude and ignorant.
‘I can lose weight, but you’re going to be ugly, inside where it matters, forever.’
According to Revolve’s statement, the jumper was supposed to be part of a wider series in collaboration with a number of famous women that highlighted the issue of online trolling.
The full collection would have included garments with the quotes: ‘Horrible Result of Modern Feminism’ and ‘Too boney to be boned’.
In smaller letters under the text, each sweatshirt would read: ‘As said to’ plus the Instagram handle of the recipient.
However, when the first sweatshirt was released – apparently prematurely – with no explanation, the wider context of the campaign was lost.
The statement from Revolve reads: ‘This morning, images of a forthcoming LPA collection were prematurely released on Revolve.com.
‘The capsule collection – originally conceived by LPA alongside Lena Dunham, Emily Ratajkowski, Cara Delevingne, Suki Waterhouse and Paloma Elsesser – was set to debut tomorrow as a direct commentary on the modern-day “normality” of cyber-bullying and the shared desire to create a community for those most affected by the epidemic.
‘Proceeds were set to benefit Girls Write Now, a charity focused on mentoring underserved young women and helping them find their voices and tell their stories through writing.
‘The prematurely released images featured on Revolve.com were not only included without context of the overall campaign but regrettably featured one of the pieces on a model whose size was not reflective of the piece’s commentary on body positivity.
‘We at Revolve sincerely apologise to all those involved – particularly Lena, Emily, Cara, Suki and Paloma – our loyal customers, and the community as a whole for this error.
‘The collection has been pulled. We are proud to donate $20,000 to Girls Write Now in the hopes that those who need it can still benefit from what was to be a meaningful, insightful and impactful collaboration by LPA.’
In response to the sweatshirt’s release and Revolve’s decision to use a thin women to model it, Lena Dunham has withdrawn her support from the campaign entirely.
Dunham, a friend of LPA’s creator Pia Arrobio, revealed on Instagram that the choice to put the sweatshirts on thin, white models without consulting any of the women who provided quotes for the collection meant she could no longer be associated with the project.
She wrote: ‘For months I’ve been working on a collaboration with my friend Pia’s company LPA through parent company @revolve – sweatshirts that highlight quotes from prominent women who have experienced internet trolling & abuse.
‘This is a cause very close to my heart and the proceeds were meant to benefit charities that help young women by empowering them to express themselves through writing and art.
‘Without consulting me or any of the women involved, @revolve presented the sweatshirts on thin white women, never thinking about the fact that difference and individuality is what gets you punished on the Internet, or that lack of diversity in representation is a huge part of the problem (in fact, the problem itself.)
‘As a result, I cannot support this collaboration or lend my name to it in any way. This isn’t meant to shame Pia or the great work she’s done with LPA.
‘I am deeply disappointed in @revolve’s handling of a sensitive topic and a collaboration rooted in reclaiming the words of internet trolls to celebrate the beauty in diversity and bodies and experiences that aren’t the industry norm.’
The collection will no longer go ahead and Girls Write Now, a charity that helps at-risk girls in New York’s public schools, has received a $20,000 donation.
'Fat shaming' sweater dumped from retailer's website'Fat shaming' sweater dumped from retailer's websitehpwilliamsonMETRO GRAB - taken from Twitter of @FelicityHayward without permission - viral image'Fat shaming' sweater dumped from retailer's websitehttps://twitter.com/FelicityHayward/status/1039889946197352448REVOLVE
Running events generate a surprisingly large amount of plastic waste.
Plastic water bottles and plastic cups are always available at water stations for thirsty participants and the track itself often ends up littered with discarded receptacles.
Runners need water but plastic bottles, light and convenient though they may be, are no good for the environment.
The Harrow half marathon in London has decided to do something about the over-use of plastics, banning single use bottles and cups entirely.
It’s the first running event in the UK to do so.
Far from letting runners go thirsty, the event will now offer participants little ‘nip and sip’ pouches, made from edible seaweed.
They are 100% natural, biodegradable and look like little blobs of hydrating goodness.
Sealed by a seaweed-based membrane, you simply bite into the pouch and drink the water inside.
After you’ve finished, you can dispose of the packaging by eating it or binning it, where it will take four to six weeks to completely decompose – the same amount of time as a piece of fruit.
Reusable water bottles will also be made available to runners.
The ‘Ooho’ seaweed pouches are made by a start-up based in the UK, called Skipping Rocks Lab. The fledgling company is funded by the EU.
According to the Skipping Rocks Lab website, the Ooho seaweed alternative is cheaper than plastic.
The company says: ‘The consumption of non-renewable resources for single-use bottles and the amount of waste generated is profoundly unsustainable.
‘The aim of Ooho is to provide the convenience of plastic bottles while limiting the environmental impact.’
In April, London Marathon organisers announced that they would be trialling the use of compostable cups to try to cut down on the number of plastic containers used.
However, a video surfaced that showed streets strewn with plastic waste after the race was over.
The Harrow half marathon’s decision to go completely plastic free might be the only solution for ensuring that running events don’t generate this level of waste.
Completing a physical challenge like a marathon need not come at the expense of the planet.
Half marathon banned plastic bottlesHalf marathon banned plastic bottleshpwilliamsonThe Harrow half-marathon has replaced single use plastics with a seaweed solution. (Picture: ooho)The Ooho pouch that will replace plastic bottles in Harrow. (Picture: Ella Byworth)A running scooping up an Ooho pouch to rehydrate with. (Picture: ooho)
There is a misconception around obsessive compulsive disorder that it is mainly about cleanliness and relentless hand-washing.
But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
There are many obsessive or compulsive behaviours that fall under a diagnosis of OCD, all of which can have a significant impact on the sufferer’s life and be debilitating to live with.
Some of the better known types of OCD include fear of contamination, where sufferers fear they may be contaminated by germs, and compulsive checking, which can lead to sufferers checking doors, windows, appliances or similar, for fear some harm will come to them or others if they do not.
A less commonly discussed element of OCD is intrusive thoughts – unwelcome, involuntary, upsetting and distressing thoughts that enter a person’s mind and become an obsession.
Intrusive thoughts take many forms, but one particular form is talked about less than most, due to the stigma that surrounds it and the sufferer’s fear they will be judged harshly.
Paedophilia OCD (POCD), is a subtype of OCD that causes the person living with it to have unwanted harmful or sexual thoughts about children. These thoughts can lead to intense panic, shame and depression and can prompt the person experiencing them to go into protective mode, avoiding children at all costs.
Both men and women can suffer with POCD. It’s important to note that people with POCD are not paedophiles. The difference between someone with POCD and a paedophile could not be greater.
A paedophile is sexually attracted to children and takes pleasure in situations in which they have an opportunity to find sexual gratification around children.
Someone living with POCD will do the exact opposite. Sufferers of POCD are so horrified by their intrusive thoughts that they will avoid children at all costs.
The shameful nature of the thoughts makes it difficult for sufferers to seek help. Many spend years suffering in silence.
Today we are breaking that silence, by talking to people living with this disorder. Most still prefer to remain anonymous, so their names have been changed.
Jenny* first experienced POCD around two years ago. She started worrying she would do something ‘weird’ around children that could be taken the wrong way. Her persistent worry was coupled with constant checking that her behaviour wasn’t inappropriate.
She would be in a shop, walk by a baby, look over at it and then start to question herself.
According to Jenny, the thoughts started out with panicked questions: ‘Why did I look at that baby? Does that make me a paedophile? Was I looking at it wrongly? Were my hands in the right place?’
The thoughts would evolve to: ‘Did the parents think I stared at their kid weird? Why did I look in the first place? I’m a monster, I’m a sick person. I’m disgusting. Paedophilia is wrong. Why did I even look at them at all?
‘They’re not my kid, I shouldn’t have even glanced over at them. I’m creepy and sick.’
Jenny says having POCD makes her feel like a ‘disgusting monster’. She’s terrified that she will do something wrong and convinced she is a paedophile – despite having no sexual interest in children and having no genuine desire to hurt a child in any way.
To battle the fear, she avoids children at all costs and is too terrified to leave the house. She says that the OCD makes her feel ‘disgusting’ – which has led her to feeling suicidal.
Despite longing for a family of her own, she doesn’t have children because she feels she would be a danger to them.
So far, only Jenny’s mother and her partner know about her POCD. She’s scared to speak out any further about what she goes through.
She explained: ‘I feel that POCD is stigmatised because those who don’t have POCD and don’t understand it think that the thoughts are sexual, like, “Mmm I want them” and that we then feeling guilty for feeling that.
‘But the truth is, we don’t even have those thoughts.
‘We just have an extreme fear and can’t stop worrying, overthinking, checking and panicking.
‘I want people to know that we are 100% not paedophiles. We are disgusted at the thought of paedophilia. Paedophiles like the thoughts. We are terrified by them.’
John* started having symptoms of POCD a year ago, when his partner told him they were going to have a baby. At first, he was over the moon – but he soon started getting distressing thoughts.
John said: ‘I’d never had thoughts like this and they were very disturbing.
‘I suddenly found myself getting nervous around children and teenagers.
‘If I looked at someone who looked like a teenager, I would question in my head their age because if they saw me looking at them, they might find it inappropriate and think I’m a paedophile.
‘I might see something in the news or on social media and instantly my brain can think: ‘I hope you didn’t do this in your past’.
‘I then find myself looking for answers, trying to think back to whether I’ve done this or I’ve done that. It’s terrifying.
‘When you start to ruminate your mind can create all sort of thoughts or memories.’
Having intrusive thoughts does not make you a bad person. They are a misfiring in the brain, not a reflection of your character – intrusivethoughts.org
John says that his OCD can lead him to imagining that he’s kissed or slept with people that he hasn’t. He’s constantly looking for reassurance from his partner to make sure he hasn’t done anything wrong – who he says has been extremely understanding.
Though he has had cognitive behavioural therapy, a therapy often used to treat OCD, he feels it has not helped him.
Instead, he has found solace in groups and online research.
Since becoming a dad, John is still finding things hard and has to work to combat the thoughts.
He said: ‘I’m a new dad so it’s very difficult to avoid being around my son, not that I would want to miss out on anything.
‘I make sure I’m changing nappies, bathing him and spending as much time as possible with him. Regardless of my OCD, I’m not letting it ruin my time with my son and watching him grow up.’
Still, he says, the POCD and false memories are ‘awful’.
‘I can be changing my son and suddenly I get a thought questioning if I’ve molested or touched him inappropriately.
‘You try to dispute it, but the more you dispute it, the more you ruminate and your mind thinks the worst.’
John continued: ‘I am in no way recovered, but it’s getting better the more I learn and practise the therapy.’
So far, John has told two people close to him about his POCD – his partner and his brother.
His partner did some research herself and understands the condition and is constantly encouraging John to keep going.
He says POCD has opened his mind up to how debilitating OCD can really be.
He said: ‘I feel people will have no idea about OCD or POCD. Until I had the condition I used to think it was about hand-washing.
‘I had no idea what it could do to your mind or how it could affect your life.
‘I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.’
Lynn Crilly, a mental health counsellor who specialises in OCD and is the author of various books including Hope With OCD, says that POCD is one of the many different types of OCD – and that it can cause the sufferer to feel immense shame, anguish, panic and guilt-provoking feelings, often leading to depression.
She explains: ‘It is important here to say that sexual fantasies are quite normal and the vast majority of us have had them at some point.
‘It would only fall under the umbrella of OCD if a person felt there was something wrong with these fantasies and feared acting them out in an unsuitable way.
‘As with all types of intrusive thoughts, there is also a wide range of sexual obsessions, these could be: sexual identity, sexual thoughts about children, friends, incest, infidelity, violent sexual behaviour and blasphemous thoughts combining religion and sex.
‘Many people with OCD worry that the content of their sexual obsessions may indicate that they could be a rapist, paedophile, or sexually perverted in some shape or form.
‘It is important to say here that the sufferer experiencing these thoughts does not want to have these thoughts, they find them very upsetting, painful and guilt-provoking and have no intention of acting upon them.
‘The knock-on effect of this type of OCD is that the sufferer may avoid public places in an attempt to avoid coming into contact with people including children.
‘It can be particularly difficult for a parent with this type of OCD, as it could cause them to avoid any close contact with their children, leading to potential emotional distress for all involved.
‘This allows the thoughts to not only win but to affect the day-to-day life of the sufferer and the people who love them.’
Lynn explains that those with POCD can be reluctant to open up and seek treatment out of fear of being judged or misunderstood.
However, she says, a trained professional would immediately recognise such thoughts as OCD and understand that the chance of the sufferer acting on them is less than minimal.
Lynn says POCD can be treated with in a way that is tailored to the sufferer – a combination of medication or CBT, for example – but the most important thing is that the sufferer must want to engage fully with the desire to recover.
There is also a treatment called TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) which has been approved as an effective treatment for OCD by the FDA.
It’s a non-invasive, drug-free treatment option which is a viable alternative for people who can’t tolerate the side effects of medication.
Dr Sarkhel, psychiatrist at Living Mind, which offers this treatment, says around 20-30% of OCD patients he treats present with POCD.
Though OCD can be triggered by trauma, there is no answer for exactly why a person suffers with POCD, and it is just one of many sub-types of OCD with intrusive thoughts.
A spokesperson for the charity OCD Action adds: ‘It’s important to remember that these thoughts are the opposite of what a person wants to think about or feel and that is why they are so distressing.
‘It can be extremely difficult to talk about your OCD when your thoughts relate to ‘taboo’ subjects such as this, but these thoughts are just as common as any other intrusive thought, and this ‘type’ of OCD can be treated just as successfully as any other.
‘It’s important to raise awareness about OCD in this way so people don’t feel ashamed or alone, and feel more comfortable seeking the help they deserve.’
If you feel you are suffering with this form of OCD – or any form of OCD – please seek help from your GP, who will be able to guide you on next steps to recovery – and call Samaritans on 116 123 if you need to talk.
https://metro.co.uk/2018/09/07/london-fashion-week-officially-goes-fur-free-7922763/https://metro.co.uk/2018/09/07/london-fashion-week-officially-goes-fur-free-7922763/hattiegladwellmetroWhat happens when someone becomes obsessed that they might be a paedophile? picture; gettyWhat happens when someone becomes obsessed that they might be a paedophile? picture; gettyUnhappy Mother Suffering With Post Natal Depression Sits On Sofa
It’s called being fashionably late, darling.
Marc Jacobs kept FROW regulars, celebrities and fashion insiders waiting nearly an hour and a half for his 6pm New York Fashion Week show.
Before arriving guests had been informed that the show would be delayed by 30 minutes, but it soon became apparent that attendees would be waiting much longer.
The Wednesday night show started a massive one hour and 26 minutes behind schedule.
Celebrity guests Nicki Minaj and Emily Ratajkowski waited it out, but Vogue’s editor-in-chief Anna Wintour reportedly left her seat, before returning a couple of minutes prior to the show actually beginning.
Twitter users criticised Jacobs for his tardiness, calling it ‘trash’ and ‘shady’.
Some speculated that the late running of the show was a deliberate attempt to sabotage Rihanna’s Savage X Fenty show by keeping important industry figures waiting for his catwalk.
Guests were reported to have left during the wait so they could attend Rihanna’s show in Brooklyn, which closed New York Fashion Week.
On Thursday night, Jacobs posted a picture on Instagram with his face superimposed over the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.
The lengthy caption was a ‘sincere apology’ for his lateness, but it didn’t actually seem to answer the burning question of why the show didn’t run on time.
Marc Jacobs' Instagram apology in full:
I sincerely apologize to anyone and everyone who was inconvenienced by my lateness at our Spring/Summer 2019 fashion show.
For anyone interested, below is not a list of excuses but rather a list of facts. I fully understand people have plans, lives, commitments, flights, families to return to, etc and that I fully RESPECT.
I’ve heard, read and reflected on your frustration, anger and outrage. If you choose to read the below, I hope that you can find your own place of understanding.
1. The night before the show at midnight, I believed that we would absolutely be starting at 6pm, as planned and it was my intention to do so.
2. At 3:30pm on the day of the show, I became aware that we would most likely be an hour late. In good faith and hope it was communicated that the show would start at 630pm and that was a mistake.
3. After years of being beyond punctual and once again, with every intention of remaining so, the fact is, more is always expected from us with fewer and fewer resources. That is not unique to me personally or us as a company. I have learned that I need to adjust to our realities.
4. It was my wishful thinking that we could accomplish all that needed to be done for this show with the circumstances we faced. I was wrong. Not because everyone didn’t make every effort or give it their all and more, life is just that way sometimes. I’ve always been told that, “if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”
With our shows, I always strive to present 7-10 minutes of live fashion theatre that hopefully makes some kind of statement or touch the audience in some way both aesthetically and emotionally. I think we all have to be a little more sensitive and flexible to the fragile state of the live experience.
I hope anyone reading this will reflect on my thoughts as I have on yours.
Sincerely and respectfully,
Lateness, suggested shade on Rihanna and confusingly vague apology aside, critics agreed that Jacobs’ show was a triumph when it finally arrived.
Models were resplendent in elaborate ruffles, sheer textures and giant rosettes.
They looked like elegant, sugar-spun confections in a range of good-enough-to-eat pastel colours.
The Daily Beast reported that one woman left the show with the words: ‘Wow, OK, after all that waiting, that was worth it.’
Marc Jacobs show runs very late and his Instagram apology doesn't tell us whyMarc Jacobs show runs very late and his Instagram apology doesn't tell us whyhpwilliamsonThe diverse Savage X Fenty Fall/Winter 2018 show. (Picture: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Savage X Fenty)One of the gorgeous creations from Marc Jacobs' Spring/Summer19 collection. (Picture: SplashNews.com)
Britain’s most expensive bungalow is expected to sell for £4.5 million.
Yes, that’s pretty pricey, but the home does come with some perks… including its own dental studio.
The single-storey home is set on an exclusive stretch of coastline, on Canford Cliffs, near Sandbanks, Dorset.
It’s located on a 1.5 acre plot with sea views out to Old Harry Rocks and the Isle of Wight.
Canford Cliffs is one of the UK’s most desirable places to live. Research shows second-hand properties in Canford Cliffs sold for an average of £628,745 last year, almost three times the UK average.
It’s next-door to Sandbanks where a home was recently sold for a record-breaking £8.1 million.
With its own private road, the property features an entrance hall, sitting room, dining room, study, kitchen, two toilets, a swimming pool, and, more bizarrely, a dental studio with a waiting room – as it was once used as a dental practice.
It was built on the ruins of the Canford Cliffs Hotel, which was destroyed by bombing in 1941.
The bungalow will be auctioned off in London on 26 September with a guide price of in excess of £4.5 million.
Russell Taylor, Savills Auctions director, said: ‘The property was originally considered suitable for three houses, however, it was developed in its current form.
‘This is now a sizeable site atop one of Dorset’s prestigious Blue Flag beaches, making this one of the most exciting lots to come to the auctions market in recent years.
‘Subject to usual consents, it offers significant scope for extensive redevelopment and could deliver something spectacular along this sought-after stretch of coastline.
‘We have already received significant interest from those based in the region and further afield and expect plenty of action in the auction room on the day.’
Colin Wilkins, Savills development director, added: ‘This is a rare and exciting opportunity to buy a parcel of land of this size in such a desirable location.
‘We are already fielding a lot of calls from people who have got wind of its availability.
‘We anticipate interest from developers and owner occupiers looking to create something very special in area where availability of land is scarce and uninterrupted sea views come at a premium.’
SEI_29121519-38b8SEI_29121519-38b8hattiegladwellmetroA ???dated??? bungalow on the UK???s most expensive clifftop has been put up for sale for a whopping ??4.5 MILLION. See SWNS story SWCLIFF. The single-storey structure is on Canford Cliffs, near Sandbanks, Dorset, where homes on one street sell for more than ??2 million. It is set in a 1.5 acre plot with spectacular unspoilt sea views out to Old Harry Rocks and the Isle of Wight. Located on a private road, the four-bedroom property has a swimming pool complex with Savills Auctions saying it is ???presented in dated decorative order???. The 1960s property has an entrance hall, sitting room, dining room, study, kitchen, two toilets and a dental studio with waiting room. It was built on the ruins of the Canford Cliffs Hotel, which was destroyed by bombing in 1941. While consent is yet to be approved, the plot has ???extensive scope for redevelopment???, with potential for the bungalow to be demolished and turned into a large family home or flats. The bungalow and former dental practice will be auctioned off in London on September 26 with a guide price of in excess of ??4.5 million.A ?dated? bungalow on the UK?s most expensive clifftop has been put up for sale for a whopping ?4.5 MILLION. See SWNS story SWCLIFF. The single-storey structure is on Canford Cliffs, near Sandbanks, Dorset, where homes on one street sell for more than ?2 million. It is set in a 1.5 acre plot with spectacular unspoilt sea views out to Old Harry Rocks and the Isle of Wight. Located on a private road, the four-bedroom property has a swimming pool complex with Savills Auctions saying it is ?presented in dated decorative order?. The 1960s property has an entrance hall, sitting room, dining room, study, kitchen, two toilets and a dental studio with waiting room. It was built on the ruins of the Canford Cliffs Hotel, which was destroyed by bombing in 1941. While consent is yet to be approved, the plot has ?extensive scope for redevelopment?, with potential for the bungalow to be demolished and turned into a large family home or flats. The bungalow and former dental practice will be auctioned off in London on September 26 with a guide price of in excess of ?4.5 million.A ???dated??? bungalow on the UK???s most expensive clifftop has been put up for sale for a whopping ??4.5 MILLION. See SWNS story SWCLIFF. The single-storey structure is on Canford Cliffs, near Sandbanks, Dorset, where homes on one street sell for more than ??2 million. It is set in a 1.5 acre plot with spectacular unspoilt sea views out to Old Harry Rocks and the Isle of Wight. Located on a private road, the four-bedroom property has a swimming pool complex with Savills Auctions saying it is ???presented in dated decorative order???. The 1960s property has an entrance hall, sitting room, dining room, study, kitchen, two toilets and a dental studio with waiting room. It was built on the ruins of the Canford Cliffs Hotel, which was destroyed by bombing in 1941. While consent is yet to be approved, the plot has ???extensive scope for redevelopment???, with potential for the bungalow to be demolished and turned into a large family home or flats. The bungalow and former dental practice will be auctioned off in London on September 26 with a guide price of in excess of ??4.5 million.
The first time I went to an abortion clinic, I was in my teens accompanying a friend having a termination.
We talked a lot about what was going to happen. We questioned what you were supposed to wear to go and get abortion pills. We looked up the route from the tube station to the clinic on Google maps.
The morning of the procedure, she asked me: ‘there aren’t going to be people there, are there? Shouting things?’
There were. As we approached the blue door of Marie Stopes, we saw two women holding signs with pictures of a foetus on. I later learned that while they claimed it was a six-week-old foetus, it was the size of a four-month-old one. Standing by the door was an elderly woman holding a rosary, two women wearing hijab and a middle-aged man in a parka.
As we approached, they began shouting things. Telling my best friend – a frightened teenager – that she was going to go to hell, that she was murdering a baby, that she should change her mind. No practical suggestions, no offers of help.
She couldn’t have changed her mind.
Her family circumstances would have made raising a baby at home impossible. Her choice was a brief and largely painless medical procedure, or to crash out of school with no qualifications, no home and a tiny baby.
There was absolutely no question that she was making the right choice. The only time I saw her cry, or even upset, during the entire process was when those people screamed at her.
Ironic that they claimed to want to protect children yet there they were harassing one.
When we got inside the receptionist commented: ‘Absolute nut jobs, the lot of them’.
I asked her, while my friend was upstairs, whether she’d ever seen them change someone’s mind. She laughed and told me ‘absolutely not’.
This experience is far from unique. I asked women to share their experiences of protests outside abortion clinics and I was overwhelmed by responses. After all, one in three women in the UK will have an abortion in her lifetime.
‘I remember going to a clinic about four years ago,’ June* told Metro.co.uk.
‘What was already a very tough decision made harder by people holding awful graphic posters and trying to grab my arm and pull me away.
‘[They shouted that] “there are so many other ways” and “this isn’t god’s way”, telling me I am committing myself to going to hell by doing this. I was lucky to be supported by my husband and the staff at the clinic were wonderful.
‘Family planning clinics provide many different services, other than abortions, but everyone going in was being harassed. It also completely removed any kind of confidentiality, the area was quite local to me, and it created a huge anxiety that someone would find out something that was intensely private. I really support buffer zones, as I expect that the harassment would only escalate now.’
June is not alone in her experience.
‘Honestly the only horrible part of the experience was the protesters,’ Zara* tells Metro.co.uk.
‘One of them tried to give me a rosary and I told her to f**k off, then I felt guilty for the rest of the week.
‘Not about the abortion, but about being rude to an old lady. The thing is, they’re picking on people on what will probably be the worst day of their life.
‘I don’t understand what they think they’re achieving. Maybe if they ran a free childcare centre rather than standing on the side of the road all day, some women would feel more able to keep their babies.
‘Why aren’t they working with migrant kids? Or trying to help babies born to women in prison, or babies born with drug addictions? Why aren’t they spending their time helping kids who are born who need their help, rather than abusing women?’
A third woman got in touch to talk about the difficulties of deciding whether to terminate.
‘I remember going for my termination and there were people outside with boards and the woman who was in the waiting room before me was quite far along,’ Aisha* says.
‘And it’s always stuck with me because as soon as I found out I was pregnant I wanted a termination, but to be so far a long and need a termination for medical reasons – those are the women these buffer zones help.
‘They need protection because they are making a decision they don’t want to make. I wish more people understood that terminations happen for all sorts of reasons. Rape, incest, your baby is sick, you could have cancer and can’t have the baby etc.
‘Regardless of reason, even if you’re just like me and don’t want to be pregnant, you don’t deserve to be guilt tripped.’
The fourth woman I spoke to had an even worse experience outside the clinic.
‘They were screaming things at me, and pulling at my coat as I went past,’ Deborah* says.
‘They had leaflets with gruesome pictures in them and they were shoving them at me. I thought, if I’m doing something that those people don’t like, it’s probably the right thing.’
Anti-choice groups claim that their protests are not harassment, that they are exclusively respectful towards women and that they are often welcome.
Having seen firsthand a woman shouting ‘murderer’ at a girl leaving a clinic, it’s difficult to see them as entirely peaceful protests.
The Marie Stopes clinic in Ealing has a buffer zone around it, so that protesters can’t target women physically or get close to them as they enter. A proposal to create the same system for other clinics was rejected by Home Secretary Sajid Javid.
Antonia Tully, of the Society for the Protection of Unborn Children, said they were ‘delighted’ by the decision, saying: ‘This is a massive victory for common sense, democracy and above all for the hundreds of vulnerable women who are saved from the horror of abortion at the very gates of the abortion clinic.’
A buffer zone is designed so those driving up to an abortion clinic – which doctors advise as public transport afterwards is not recommended and ideally you should have a friend, family member or partner with you – are kept away from protesters.
If you feel that there should be a buffer zone outside abortion clinics so that women can escape harassment, you should write to your MP.
Government accused of treating thousands of women as 'collateral damage' after it rejects calls to introduce buffer zones outside abortion clinics.Government accused of treating thousands of women as 'collateral damage' after it rejects calls to introduce buffer zones outside abortion clinics.rebeccacnreidPolice walk around abortion protestors holding up placards outside the Marie Stopes clinic, the first private clinic to offer abortions to women in Belfast, Northern Ireland on October 18, 2012. Dozens of pro-life campaigners protested outside the first abortion clinic in Northern Ireland as it opened to the public. Around 50 protesters brandishing placards saying "Life is precious" and showing photographs of foetuses gathered outside the privately run clinic in an anonymous building in Belfast. AFP PHOTO/ Peter Muhly (Photo credit should read PETER MUHLY/AFP/Getty Images)
Bored with Brexit? Tired of all the stumbling and in-fighting and sheer confusion?
Sick of not knowing what the heck is going on, whether you voted for it in the first place or not?
A unique gym concept will allow you to channel your political frustrations into a calorie-burning workout.
Why just get angry when you can get angry and fit?
Gymbox Victoria is offering an exclusive 30-minute class called ‘Brexfit’, where you can vent your pent-up negativity regarding the current political climate on leading MPs.
All the exercises are high-intensity and designed by the gym’s personal trainers, in partnership with CALM People anger management specialist, Julian Hall.
The ‘Politician Punchbag’, featuring a picture of former Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson’s face, is proving exceptionally popular, and there are plenty of other Westminster heavyweights that members can give a battering.
You’ll be spoilt for choice with ‘The Politico Head Slammer’, where you can slam medicine balls on pictures of the Tory and Labour party leaders printed on gym mats, ‘The Corbyn Ju-Jitsu Throw’, ‘The Jacob-Rees Logg Lift’ and ‘The Theresa May Sack Race’ – which to be honest, really needs no explanation.
For those who’ve had enough, there’s even a ‘Cameron Quitter’s Corner’.
Instead of motivational posters, the gym will be plastered with infamous political one-liners relating to Brexit.
Before launching the class, Gymbox polled 500 members to find out how much Brexit angered them compared to other major irritants in London.
Brexit came out on top for 52% of respondents, who said that Britain leaving the EU was the biggest bugbear.
Julian Hall, anger management expert at CALM People, said: ‘Research shows that aerobic exercise can be linked to the reduction in negative thoughts and feelings and there’s no doubt the uncertainty, stress, and tension over Brexit is spilling out into normal people’s lives.
‘Many of my clients use exercise as a meaningful and healthy part of their toolkit to manage their anger and this class is the perfect way to release the pent-up energy that anger creates.’
Boris Johnson was named as the politician that members said they’d most like to punch, polling at 40%. Opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn came second with 24% and Brexit cheerleader Nigel Farage got 19% of votes.
Gymbox spokesperson Rory McEntee said: ‘It doesn’t matter if you’re In or Out, Brexit has become more anger-inducing than a flimsy Jeremy Corbyn apology.
‘We’re always looking at innovative ways to motivate and challenge our members and we quickly realised Brexit is a great topic to get them fired up.
‘We actually invited Boris Johnson to attend the class although he would have been bonking mad to turn up.
‘The punchbag with his face on has gotten plenty of action though.
‘While there’s nothing certain about our EU exit we are certain this is London’s best gym class for releasing frustration.’
You can get ‘Brexfit’ every Thursday at Gymbox Victoria, 12:15pm.
There’s nothing like punching (a printed version of) BoJo in the face to brighten up your lunch hour.
A couple had an incredible Disney themed wedding, tying the knot as Toy Story’s Buzz Lightyear and Woody.
After getting engaged at Disneyland, Jason Bitner and Garrett Smith, from Chicago, knew they had to get married surrounded by their favourite characters.
Of course they also dressed up themselves, with Jason as Woody and Garrett as Buzz.
They also danced to ‘You’ve Got a Friend in Me’, the song they picked for their first dance. It was a total Toy Story dream.
Jason told HuffPost that Toy Story is one of their favourite movies.
‘Each character reminds us of each other’s personalities,’ he said.
Every guest at the weekend also dressed up as a Disney character, with the likes of Tinkerbell, Snow White and Mickey Mouse seated at the wedding, which took place at the 63rd Street Beach House in Chicago.
Jason added: ‘Family and friends must have thought we were crazy to have a costume wedding in the middle of August, but we were happily surprised that almost all of our guests were really into it and dressed for the occasion.’
Alongside the costumes, the wedding itself was inspired by Disney.
Every table was decorated with Disney themed centrepieces based on different movies, such as Aladdin, Moana and Cinderella.
The couple say lots of ideas for the table decorations came from ‘many Google docs and Pinterest boards’.
Jason added: ‘Rather than real flowers, Garrett made paper flowers. And he completely fabricated his Buzz costume, which took him like three months.’
After the ceremony, which was captured by photographers Tiffany Brandt and Kip Gire, the couple celebrated with a honeymoon to Hawaii – which included a short trip to their favourite place in the world: Disneyland.
SEI_29703398-f5b5SEI_29703398-f5b5hattiegladwellmetroJason Bitner and Garrett Smith of Chicago got married in an epic Disney themed wedding IMAGES TAKEN WITH PERMISSION VIA TIFFANY BRANDTJason Bitner and Garrett Smith of Chicago got married in an epic Disney themed wedding IMAGES TAKEN WITH PERMISSION VIA TIFFANY BRANDT
Deciding to end a relationship isn’t always easy.
The emotional and practical cost of a breakup can be high because your lives have become so intertwined.
Shared friends, possessions, pets and children can make the decision even more difficult.
But what happens when you want to call time on a relationship and realise that you can’t afford to do so?
According to a study commissioned by the Debt Advisory Centre, nearly one in five people – a fifth of the population – have remained in a romantic relationship because financial concerns have prevented them from leaving.
Women are also more likely to stay in relationships because they can’t afford to leave than men.
Research from the investment company Nutmeg shows that 20% of women have stayed with a partner due to financial worries, compared to just 3% of men.
This means that seven times more women than men are gritting their teeth and bearing a relationship that they’d really prefer not to be in, purely because of money issues.
Even if you’re not married, breakups aren’t cheap.
One of you will usually want to leave the place where you both live, bills will no longer be split, and any financial help you receive from your partner will likely come to an end (although if you have a child with someone, the partner who is not the primary carer will be legally required to make maintenance payments).
Accommodation is a huge issue, particularly in London, where the housing crisis is at its most extreme.
The Debt Advisory Centre study found that London had the highest proportion of couples admitting that they had stayed together for financial reasons.
More than a third (36%) of those surveyed in London said that they’d remained in a past relationship because of the cost of leaving was just too high, compared to just 12% of respondents in the West Midlands.
On the parenting website Mumsnet, many threads relate to feeling financially trapped in a relationship that no longer seems to function.
One user posted: ‘We’ve had “the conversation” and nobody is under any illusions in my house. We literally can’t afford to run two households and that is the ugly truth.’
Staying in a relationship where you’re unhappy can have a detrimental effect on your health and happiness.
According to the counselling service Relate, people in unhappy or unsupportive relationships are three times more likely to suffer from depression.
If the relationship is abusive, the stakes are even higher.
It can be extremely dangerous to stay in an abusive relationship due to the threat of emotional damage, bodily harm and death.
In 2018 alone, more than 20 women have been murdered and their partner or former partner charged with the crime.
Rachel was just 20 when she found herself in an abusive relationship with her 25-year-old boyfriend.
She told Metro.co.uk: ‘There were quite a few red flags but the abuse didn’t get bad until I was attacked by a coworker.
‘I had just started a new job as a receptionist, and long story short, my new “friend” I met at work drugged and raped me.
‘I reported it to the police, and because of this, I couldn’t return to work and lost my job.
‘As the investigation started, my boyfriend started to become terribly abusive – he blamed me for the rape, insisted I knew better than to get into that situation, and raged in jealousy because “another man took something from” him.
‘He began to do things like rip the router out of the wall to cut my internet (and my job search), took my phone and would throw it, and wouldn’t let me sleep in the bed anymore – I had to sleep on the hardwood floor, because if I tried to sleep on the couch, he would rip out the cushions from under me and throw me down on the ground.
‘Jobless and with no income, I started to get very scared. We split the rent, and I was suddenly dependent on him to make ends meet – I didn’t have the money for a deposit to move elsewhere.’
Now 25, Rachel has broken free of the relationship. Gaining financial independence allowed her to get away.
‘I spent all the time I had looking for a job online and finally found one.
‘Once I saved up enough, I found a room, and one day when he was out watching sports I had a friend help me move everything out.’
Katie Ghose, Chief Executive of Women’s Aid, told Metro.co.uk: ‘Financial worries can be a major barrier for women when leaving an abusive partner.
‘Our study with the TUC found that 52% of survivors living with an abuser said that they had no money of their own, so could not leave.
‘Financial abuse is widely misunderstood and rarely talked about, yet it is a key part of the controlling behaviour of perpetrators.
‘It has a long-lasting and devastating impact on survivors, often leaving women without the money they need for basic essentials such as food and clothing.’
Although women are more likely to stay in relationships due to financial worries and more likely to be the victims of domestic violence, men can also find themselves trapped in abusive relationships.
Tom* is 35 and he stayed in a violent and damaging two year relationship because he wasn’t in a financial position to support himself.
‘While I was signed off sick, I got into a relationship with a woman,’ he tells us.
‘We moved in together, and she started paying for just about everything while I was in recovery.
‘Just a few months into the relationship, she started lying to me, cheating on me, assaulting me and giving me the impression I was worthless.
‘She used to throw things at me if I tried telling her how I felt about her cheating. Once, she spontaneously hit me on the back of my head with a cooking dish, almost knocking me unconscious.
‘She sat back on the sofa completely calm, and said: “That’s for asking why I didn’t come home last Saturday night”.
‘The verbal abuse was just as bad. Calling me pathetic and a waste of space if I didn’t cook her meals exactly to her requests.
‘It would even be my fault if she couldn’t find her phone or keys.
‘I put up with it years, because I couldn’t find a way out without ending up homeless.’
If Tom hadn’t been in a financially compromised position, he’s adamant that he wouldn’t have remained in such a damaging and abusive relationship for as long as he did.
‘I eventually opened up to my GP about my bruising, who referred me to a domestic abuse charity helpline.
‘I managed to get temporary accommodation from the council, who considered me a vulnerable person, and was living on food parcels and handouts until I was strong enough to find my feet again.
‘The leaving part was horrific. I had to sneak out and smuggle a few personal belongings from our home while she was at work.
‘I quickly changed my phone number and deleted my social media accounts to prevent her from contacting me. I couldn’t tell her I was leaving. I felt like I’d be risking my life.
‘I felt pretty worthless because I’m male, and felt like I should be immune to it, or easily be able to somehow stop it.
‘She was smaller than me, but I’m not confrontational. I was genuinely scared of her aggression.
‘It took so much strength to break free, but I knew it was the only solution I had if I was to survive it.
‘Two years on, I’m still trying to get free of the debt escaping her put me into, but it’s worth every penny to be me again.’
In an abusive situation, where coercion, control, financial abuse, physical violence or emotional abuse is occuring, there are organisations such as Refuge, Women’s Aid and the ManKind Initiative that can support you.
If you’re unhappy in a relationship, you might want to try a counselling service like Relate.
In an ideal world, no one would stay in a relationship because they can’t afford to leave.
However, with household income in the UK lagging behind other countries and three million people in insecure forms of work, it’s perhaps unsurprising that a fifth of us are have stayed in relationships for financial reasons.
If you’re struggling to afford basic accommodation together (and haven’t got a hope of doing so alone) or you think that leaving would jeopardise the financial comfort of your children, staying can feel like the only option.
how-to-talk-to-a-woman-you-dont-know-v2how-to-talk-to-a-woman-you-dont-know-v2hpwilliamson**ILLUSTRATION AMEND** It might be awkward, but it's vital for couples to discuss money (Abby)