Articles on this Page
- 10/20/18--07:56: _Prince Harry’s ring...
- 10/20/18--08:26: _Hungry fans endure ...
- 10/21/18--00:00: _Autumn in New Engla...
- 10/21/18--01:53: _This is what it is ...
- 10/21/18--02:20: _Here are some unbel...
- 10/21/18--02:48: _Abortion doulas are...
- 10/21/18--03:48: _Selfridge unveils i...
- 10/21/18--03:50: _What is hypergamy a...
- 10/21/18--04:00: _Beyond the holy sit...
- 10/21/18--04:42: _Anxiety hotline for...
- 10/21/18--04:42: _Dads can pass traum...
- 10/21/18--05:05: _Three people reveal...
- 10/21/18--05:22: _Ben & Jerry’s launc...
- 10/21/18--05:28: _Photographing mixed...
- 10/21/18--06:50: _Men of Twitter expl...
- 10/21/18--07:45: _How many different ...
- 10/21/18--08:08: _You could cut the c...
- 10/21/18--09:00: _Mum diagnosed with ...
- 10/21/18--09:39: _M&S launches Porn S...
- 10/21/18--09:50: _Walkers launches pi...
- 10/21/18--01:53: This is what it is like to have a relative who has been sectioned
- 10/21/18--02:20: Here are some unbelievably cute sloths to soothe your Sunday
- 10/21/18--02:48: Abortion doulas are helping more women who are having a termination
- Each window is either a stage or a glimpse into the backstage frivolity of Santa on tour
- Rock Santa performance stages are made up of glittering backdrops and neon lights
- The spiralling piano has over 2,000 individual keys
- Bespoke suits have been designed and made for each of the featured Rock Santa by Dilara Findikoglu, Gieves & Hawkes, Walter Van Beirendonck, J Brand, Halpern and Shrimps
- 10/21/18--03:50: What is hypergamy and are some people prone to it?
- 10/21/18--04:42: Anxiety hotline for dogs launches for Bonfire Night
- 10/21/18--05:22: Ben & Jerry’s launch four new low-calorie options
- 10/21/18--06:50: Men of Twitter explain the downsides of being male
- 10/21/18--07:45: How many different names do you have for your dog?
- 10/21/18--09:39: M&S launches Porn Star Martini in a can
No accessory or garment that Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan wear is going to go unscrutinised.
So, when Harry stepped out on the pair’s tour of Australia wearing a new black ring, people were wondering what it was about.
A far cry from the heirloom gems Meghan has been wearing of late, this dark band worn his right hand isn’t just decorative.
The ring is actually a fitness tracker called the Oura Ring.
It tracks his activity throughout the day and sleep at night, and allows him to check up on his overall health via a phone app,
It’s been on the Duke of Sussex’s finger since he and Meghan arrived in Australia, including when they made the much-celebrated pregnancy announcement.
The model of choice for Harry seems to be the Heritage in the stealth colourway, which retails for just under £400.
The company call it ‘the most advanced wearable’ due to its sensors which measure your pulse, temperature, and a number of other factors to work out what you’re doing at any given time.
Oura – who hail fron Finland – won a Red Dot Design Award this year, and has users in over 70 countries.
Could be perfect if you’re proposing for a fitness junkie – or a hardcore royalist for that matter.
The Duke And Duchess Of Sussex Visit Australia - Day 3The Duke And Duchess Of Sussex Visit Australia - Day 3jessicacvlMELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - OCTOBER 18: Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex applaud the activities at Government House on October 18, 2018 in Melbourne, Australia. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are on their official 16-day Autumn tour visiting cities in Australia, Fiji, Tonga and New Zealand. (Photo by Darrian Traynor/Getty Images)MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - OCTOBER 18: Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex applaud the activities at Government House on October 18, 2018 in Melbourne, Australia. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are on their official 16-day Autumn tour visiting cities in Australia, Fiji, Tonga and New Zealand. (Photo by Darrian Traynor/Getty Images)
Incredible, just how far some people will go in the name of fandom.
Jollibee has long been described as the ‘Asian KFC’ – one of the most enduringly popular fast food franchises in the world.
Perhaps that’s understating things slightly, with hundreds of die-hard fans queuing throughout the night to witness the opening of the brand’s first UK store in Earls Court.
Some of the most committed people waited up to 18 hours for the privilege of being among the first in the door.
The super-brand has since declared it National Chickenjoy Day, in self-homage. The name comes straight from the signature dish: a piece of of fried chicken with a side of spaghetti, smothered in tomato sauce, and topped with hot dog slices and ground beef, which can be picked up for £4.99 a portion.
It’s not their only calling card, though.
Also on the menu in Britain is the Chickenjoy Bucket – comprised of six or eight pieces of fried chicken and a Double Yumburger, as well as fries, sweetcorn and ice cream. The dish itself is a special UK exclusive.
To celebrate, Jollibee offered the first 100 customers free Chickenjoy meals to celebrate the big day. A treat that’s set to be repeated on 20 October every year.
Late US celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain was a confirmed admirer, describing it as the ‘wackiest, jolliest place on earth’.
Super fan Mars El Brogy grew up in the Philippines and has lived in the UK for the past two years.
‘Jollibee’s arrival is definitely on par with the level of happiness when I graduated, got my first job, got engaged, got married, had my kids,’ she said.
‘This is huge.’
The opening adds to Jollibee’s global presence of over 1,300 restaurants worldwide, with the London restaurant its second in Europe, following a launch in Milan earlier this year.
An event which attracted equally frenzied crowds.
It’s not just hyped up comfort food though, with a pledge also made to offer support to Family Action, a London-based charity which aims to tackle complex, structural familial issues in the UK.
Good causes and good grub.
With the intense popularity of Jollibee, other fast food brands should watch their backs.
Check it out for yourself – the shop is open between 7am to 11pm, seven days a week.
Just leave yourself plenty of time for the queues (and maybe bring a snack along).
JOLLIBEE UK OPENINGJOLLIBEE UK OPENINGfranciscogarcia92
Autumn used to be my least favourite time of the year. It signalled the end of summer and the inevitable arrival of winter.
But in New England, it meant the arrival of the foliage season, and with it, a stunning transformation of the region.
Depending on location, temperature and the weather for that year, the leaves start turning shades of golden, ruby and burgundy from the end of September, and the effects can last until early December.
This year, I decided to make the most of a fly-drive break by visiting New Hampshire, Maine and Massachusetts in search of those fall colours.
It’s easy to get there – Boston has direct flights from the UK with several major airlines; you will need to hire a car though, because the best spots are out of the city.
I picked up an SUV from Hertz, who offer a Hertz WiFi Connect device for free at certain US locations, including Boston, when the booking is over £350.
It works as a GPS, which is essential if you want to plan a route. Unlike traditional GPS devices though, you need to program your route while connected to a wifi network so make sure you factor that into your route planning if that’s what you use.
For those who have never done an American road trip before, be prepared for the amount of driving and fuel up regularly!
My first stop was Appleton Farms in Ipswich, one of the oldest, continuously operated farms in the country.
The season doesn’t arrive there in earnest until mid-October, but take a mental picture – you will pass Ipswich on the return journey and the change will surprise you.
It’s incredibly picturesque even without the fall colours, though. There are several hiking trails, making it a wonderful spot to stretch your legs before you venture further north to New Hampshire.
Food stops in Massachusetts:
Ipswich is known for its clams and there’s probably nowhere better to try them than at Clam Box. The decades-old restaurant gets fresh seafood in each day and cooks everything to order.
They do the best clam chowder, but if you’re feeling particularly hungry, order the fisherman’s platter – it’s piled high with fried clams, scallops, shrimps and more.
Ipswich Ale Brewery is another great spot for a casual lunch, especially if you’re vegetarian. And if you’re not driving, there’s no reason not to order a cheeky pint, which is made right on site.
The White Mountains of New Hampshire, being higher in altitude, starts its transformation earlier in the year.
Starting from the end of September, you will be able to spot pockets of crimson contrasting against the gold and the green.
It’s the best time of the year to go for me – the crowds haven’t quite arrived but the view is already spectacular. What’s more, the leaves change every night, so each day you have a whole new view.
Since the fall colours arrive at slightly different times each autumn, you might miss some of the action if you arrive too early.
Don’t worry – simply go for a drive up Mount Washington Auto Road for a preview. The altitude change means you travel six weeks forward in foliage time – it’s like driving into the future.
The Kancamagus Highway is one of the most famous scenic drives in the area and there are parking spaces at viewpoints for photos or a short hike.
If you have time, the hikes are worth it. They’re really gentle – some are even wheelchair friendly – and you get to see streams and waterfalls that are postcard perfect.
It’s easy enough to take a break from the wheel.
The Conway Scenic Railroad has several excursions deep into the mountains, and the enormous windows are perfect for photos.
Their Notch train goes to Crawford (or Fabyan on some routes) and back in 5 hours. It’s the same line there and back, but a seat swap means you get a different view on the return.
You can also see the fall colours from the water and it’s an ethereal experience.
ELC Outdoors do a wildlife cruise on Lake Umbagog where you can spot loons (a bird) on the water and maybe even a moose in the tree line.
I didn’t come across a moose – they like mornings and twilight – but I have filled my phone with pictures of the colourful forest, perfectly mirrored against the water.
Further down in the Lakes Region, there are hikes that will take you up high enough to get a glorious view of the waters below.
I did one in West Rattlesnake Mountain and in around 40 minutes, I had a breathtaking view of Squam Lake. I even spotted a black bear feasting on berries and a snake rustling into the undergrowth.
Food stops in New Hampshire:
New Hampshire is a haven for vegetarians and vegans. Many restaurants offer meat-free options, or you can head to vegetarian restaurants such as The Maia Papaya.
In the White Mountains, I stayed at the recently re-opened The Glen House, which has the best view of Mt Washington from its floor-to-ceiling windows in the bar.
Even more impressive is their food offering – the breakfast is a dream, especially if you order anything with the bacon.
Also try The Thompson House Eatery. It’s a husband and wife team that grows much of their produce right outside the restaurant. Do book ahead though, as it gets very busy.
In the Lakes Region, pick up a yummy panini at Golden Pond Country Store so you’re ready for a picnic lunch with a view after a hike.
Over in Maine, because of the coastal influence, the fall colours actually arrive a little later than in the mountains.
If you set your GPS to avoid toll roads, there are some lovely little routes from New Hampshire across to Maine, where you can catch glimpses of the changing seasons, and stop off in charming towns like Kennebunkport.
And if you have time, detour up-state to Portland, which was recently hailed the best restaurant city in America by Bon Appétit magazine.
Go on a trolley tour around the city, so you can take in the sights before visiting Portland Head Light – Maine’s oldest and most photographed lighthouse.
It’s easy to see why – the waves crashing against the cliff face makes quite the picture.
There’s a hiking trail that shoots off along the cliff, so you can catch those fall colours next to the sea.
Food stops in Maine:
Maine is known for its lobster, and you will find it everywhere, in every way. But while the portion sizes are bigger, don’t expect it to be cheap.
Many restaurants operate at market rates, so the price can vary a lot depending on the weather, which can be temperamental.
If you do want to try something with lobster, budget for at least $20 for a lobster roll, and $35+ for whole lobsters – but don’t forget service is generally 20% in the US.
Instead of lunch, try the Old Port Culinary Walking Tour, which takes you on a gourmet walk around the city, starting with a lobster mac and cheese. It is divine.
Be prepared for traffic when you head down south to Massachusetts, especially around Boston, where you might have to add an hour or two to your journey.
You will pass Ipswich again; if you take your trip early in the season, the town will have turned a shade of golden and red by the time you return – and it couldn’t be a lovelier transformation to finish your journey.
Extending your journey to Cape Cod:
You can go further south still in search of those fall colours. The season will arrive much later – often late October and stretching into early December – so if you miss the peak in New Hampshire, there’s still a chance to get a taste of it later in the year down in Cape Cod.
Stop in Plymouth on the drive south – you can see the spot where the pilgrims on the Mayflower first landed in America, and at Plimoth Plantation, there’s even a recreation of what a pilgrim’s village might have looked like in the 1620s.
You can even interact with the actors on site, whose characters are the first pilgrims, and whose dialogue is crafted according to historical facts.
To see fall colours though, you’ll want to drive down Route 6A, also known as the Old King’s Highway, from Sandwich to Provincetown, which is located at the tip of Cape Cod.
There are picturesque villages and winding roads along the way, and if you make it all the way to P-Town, you’ll be paying a sort of pilgrimage to the place where Anthony Bourdain started his career in food.
Where to stay in New England and how to get there:
American Sky can offer a 14-night, tailor-made tour of New England from £2,499 per person, based on two people sharing accommodation on room-only basis throughout and return flights from London to Boston.
The package includes two nights each at Blue Inn on Plum Island, The Glen House in the White Mountains, Mill Falls in Meredith, Nonantum Resort in Kennebunkport, The Westin Portland Harborview in Portland, Dan’l Webster Inn in Sandwich and Hyatt Regency Boston.
I flew on Virgin Atlantic with them, but other airlines may be available.
The price is valid for travel in October 2019.
Car hire needs to be organised separately. Hertz has a pick up location at Boston Logan International Airport, with hires starting from £28 per day.
If you’re looking for other things to do while in the region, check out Discover New England’s website.
20180927_131449-01-51c920180927_131449-01-51c9qinxienew englandnew englandnew englandnew englandnew englandnew englandnew england
Being sectioned can be a hugely traumatic experience, not just for the person with a mental illness, but also for their families and close friends.
Witnessing someone you love, pushed to the point of needing involuntary, professional intervention is really scary, and can leave you feeling utterly helpless.
A new BBC Three show, In My Skin, explores the idea of caring for a family member with severe mental illness.
In the pilot episode, lead character Bethan is just 16, but has to make the devastating decision to have her mum sectioned, following a mental health crisis.
The following scenes, where Bethan visits her mum while she’s detained on a locked ward, depicts the intense conflicted emotions that come after.
Along with the pain of seeing them lose their freedom, there’s also the relief of having the burden of care removed. But, as Bethan experiences, the person with the illness may not have the capacity to see the benefits of being cared for, and their anger and resentment can be incredibly tough to face.
Cathryn has Bipolar type 1, and spent time in psychiatric institutions after being sectioned. She says seeing her experience depicted on screen with such accuracy was both unnerving and powerful.
‘I was totally unprepared for how affecting it would be,’ Cathryn tells Metro.co.uk
‘Seeing Jo Hartley’s portrayal of an episode – the chaos and fear, paranoia and severity of it – felt like a punch in the stomach. I was taken right back to my own experiences, and Bethan’s impossible job as carer was gut-wrenching. My mum went through it too, with me.’
Cathryn says her mum’s presence was crucial throughout her periods of crisis.
‘Mum was the bedrock of my recovery. She kept bringing my mind back to small and good things, and found the strength to deal with me, even when I was hostile, resentful, and incoherent.
‘I sometimes lashed out at my mum. I found it hard to understand why I’d been detained, and would sometimes blame her, without seeing that everything she did came from love.’
Cathryn was diagnosed in 2014 following a psychotic break. She experienced deep depression, chaotic elevation, insomnia and hallucinations. When she hit her lowest point, her mum, Susan, sprang into action.
Susan says: ‘I went into crisis mode, knowing that I first had to get her to safety and then get to be with her. And the facilities at A&E just couldn’t provide the support.
‘The patient was at the mercy of a struggling system that led hopelessly overworked staff to use phrases like “she is attention seeking” and, most terrifyingly, “you can go in but I doubt she will recognize you”.
‘It was then that I realised how alone we were. I barely knew what sectioning was, I just knew my daughter was in hell. She was terrified and I would not leave her.
‘And she needed help. At times, I found I could reach her and enter some of her experiences enough to calm her and be alongside her. But I had to fight to get a mental health nurse. I refused to leave Cathryn and eventually, at breaking point, I pressed a red alarm bell and refused to remove my finger until a mental health nurse came.’
Since 2014, Cathryn has had several relapses and has been sectioned and detained four more times. Once she was held in an American hospital after having a psychotic break on a plane headed for Texas.
Each episode is draining and traumatising for both mother and daughter. As a relative, trying to keep your loved one calm as their world crumbles around them is the biggest challenge.
‘Cathryn was clinging to my arm in terror, repeating one phrase that she had got stuck on, over and over at top speed. She was pulled off my coat, which she had been clutching, by what seemed to me like bouncers and guards, and I was forcibly, fiercely barred from entering the room.
‘I think the best way to help at visits is to be calm, to normalise things, to listen and, above all, to build trust and respect with the staff.
‘You need to hold on firm;y to the small dignities and be kind to everyone but keep a handle on your boundaries, otherwise you will be flooded by all the impressions around you. I just focused on making Cathryn feel safe, that this was temporary and that all would be well.
‘Our relationship, which was good before, only grew stronger through these trials. There was a point of connection with Cathryn, even in the eye of the storm, that was never lost between us.’
What does it actually mean to be sectioned?
Being ‘sectioned’ is the term that is often used when someone is detained under the Mental Health Act.
The Mental Health Act is the law which can allow someone to be admitted, detained and treated in hospital against their wishes.
It can be a very distressing experience for the person, and their family and friends, and will generally be used only if all other options have been considered, for instance looking at whether support can be provided in the community or if someone would agree to go into hospital voluntarily.
The Mental Health Act would only be considered if someone was very unwell and will never be taken lightly.
Someone needs to meet certain criteria in order to be sectioned.
It could be that they have to be detained in a hospital for assessment or treatment, and it would be in the interests of their own health, their own safety or to protect others.
For Cathryn, her experience of being sectioned has been, at times, harrowing. But even through the toughest of days, the support of her mum and the friends who stuck by her has been a beacon of hope.
‘I was sectioned again in October 2016. In just a couple of years I felt much older, enduring it with toughened long-term patients.
‘I remember the heartbreaking torment of some women, screaming that we were “locked up like dogs”, or others recounting sexual abuse, or endlessly pacing round the yard to try and put up with it. Alarms were going off all the time, for people on suicide watch, or fights.
‘I discovered who my true friends are. When I had visitors I felt sane and calm. They talked to me with respect and although they found it very difficult as the ward is so chaotic, they were there for me.
‘I’m very lucky to have such compassionate people in my life. When a friend can crack a joke, and somehow laugh in the face of it all, that’s the best.’
Cathryn’s advice for anyone visiting a friend or relative in a psychiatric facility is simple – be prepared, and be calm.
‘If they’re ranting and raving, don’t be alarmed, if possible. Remind them they’re loved, that they’ll be out soon enough, that although it feels like a prison sentence there are good doctors and amazing psychiatric nurses who will help.
‘If you feel like they’re not receiving adequate care, go through the Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) for help.’
Alison Cob, from mental health charity Mind, says it’s important for relatives to remember just how serious being sectioned is.
‘Sectioning only happens when someone with mental health problems reaches crisis point, and is in many ways a failure of earlier support by mental health services,’ she tells Metro.co.uk.
‘It’s important to remember that if someone you love has been sectioned, it does not mean they are suddenly a different person or ‘dangerous’, it just means they’re at their most unwell, and will likely feel scared and isolated.
‘It’s often at this time that they are most in need of compassion and support from both loved ones and professionals.’
Will Johnstone from Rethink Mental Illness, thinks it’s helpful for relatives to think about the practical elements of the visit.
‘There are a number of factors that can affect when you are allowed to visit them, and it’s always advisable to check with the hospital first,’ advises Will.
‘You might not be able to visit them straight away, as they might not be in a condition to meet people.
‘Learning to manage a mental illness is a hard process. Having the support of loved ones throughout this period can be immensely helpful. In many cases it can save lives, but it does require great patience on the part of loved ones.
‘Just visiting someone who is sectioned is part of helping them to manage their illness. You’re showing you care about them, and that you’re there for them now and will be after they leave.
‘Treat them as normally as you can. They are still your loved one; just one that’s going through a crisis.’
It has been two years since Cathryn was last hospitalised because of her mental health. She knows it’s a difficult road ahead, but is certain she’s on the right path.
‘After my last stretch “inside”, I left with a sense that I can recover, that it will be tough, but that it’s possible,’ she explains.
‘Although I still find living with Bipolar immensely hard, I’ve avoided hospitalisation and have found some counselling. I’ve discovered activists and organizations online, and have campaigned for better mental healthcare provision.
‘Through my mum’s unwavering love and patience, through the right medication, exercise, allowing myself time to regain my work skills and eventually try for jobs, and through confronting the inner voice of defeat, I’m stronger and determined to help other people going through the system.’
How can I get help?
If you, or someone you know is struggling with a mental health crisis, you can get help.
The Samaritans operate a free to call service 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, if you want to talk to someone in confidence. Call them on 116 123.
You can also find local crisis support services at www.nhs.co.uk.
A mental health emergency should be treated the same as any medical emergency. So call 999 or go to A&E if you’re unsure.
How to be a good listener on Time To Talk Day (James Baldock)How to be a good listener on Time To Talk Day (James Baldock)nataliemorris88ILLUSTRATION REQUEST: Brown men don’t cry – how a culture of shame stops South Asian men talking about mental health (Rupen Gahir Kalsi)
Sloths are the underdogs of the animal kingdom.
There are six different species split into two families – two-toed or three-toed – with the former slightly bigger in size. And their claws can grow pretty long, between 8-10cm, which is why it’s hard for them to walk on the ground.
OK, so they’re unbelievably slow, but there’s a reason David Attenborough dedicated a segment to the swimming sloth looking for a mate in Planet Earth II.
It’s because sloths are underrated, beautiful creatures.
Here’s to sloth Sundays.
Edward Scissorhands, London
Found at the London Zoo, this sloth turned five months old on Halloween.
He is named after Edward Scissorhands, an endearing and somewhat creepy character from the movie with the same name (played by Johnny Depp).
According to the zookeeper Kelly-Anne Keller, Edward was ‘really intrigued’ by his Halloween pumpkin, but she also said it took him a long time to climb over and inspect it.
Random sloth, Costa Rica
We’re in love with this two-toed baby sloth from Costa Rica. We don’t know much about him, other than the fact that he is adorable.
Maned sloth, Brazil
The maned sloth is incredibly rare and can only be found in Brazil.
A pretty fuzzy fellow, this little guy’s hair will grow 15 cm long, a known characteristic for this type of sloth.
Two laughing sloths, Costa Rica
Costa Rica is home to five of the six sloth species in the world. Famously known mainly hanging about in the trees, munching on leaves and having a laugh.
It’s a simple yet satisfying life.
The smug sloth
Sorry, but could you look more smug? This anonymous three-toed sloth is clearly enjoying his moment in the spotlight.
Roxy Peru, Newquay
Say hello to Roxy Peru, the six-week old Hoffman’s sloth. This particular type of sloth has two toes and originates from Central and South America.
Usually found looking gorgeous at Newquay Zoo and animal wildlife park in Newquay, Cornwall.
Marshmallow, Costa Rica
This is Marshmallow (which is perhaps the best name imaginable for a sloth), hugging his stuffed pal while lounging in Costa Rica’s Sloth Sanctuary.
Another cutie here is the sanctuary’s first-ever sloth – Buttercup, known for spending her days tanning on the terrace.
Some sloths have it good.
SLOTH_DAY-228cSLOTH_DAY-228callieabgarianCREDIT: ZSL/REX Shutterstock. Only for use in this story. Editorial Use Only. No stock, books, advertising or merchandising without photographer's permission Mandatory Credit: Photo by ZSL/REX/Shutterstock (5293674d) Two-toed sloth (Choloepus didactylus) baby with Halloween pumpkin Two-toed sloth baby celebrates first Halloween, London Zoo, Britain - 23 Oct 2015 ZSL London Zoo?s resident two-toed sloth (Choloepus didactylus) baby celebrated his first Halloween today (23 Oct), with a special pumpkin carved by his keepers. The infant, who will turn five months old on Halloween itself, is being hand-reared by zookeeper Kelly-Anne Kelleher after his mum Marilyn stopped producing milk and was unable to feed him. Living up to his species? lazy reputation, Edward, named after the famous movie character because of his scissor-like claws, does everything slowly, including investigating spooky pumpkins. Zookeeper Kelly-Anne Keller said: ?Edward doesn?t do anything quickly, so it took him a while to get up and climb over to take a look at his Jack o? lantern ? but he was really intrigued by the Halloween-inspired gift."Mandatory Credit: Photo by Gilles Martin/Sunset/REX/Shutterstock (827482a) Two-toed sloth (Choloepus hoffmanni) Costa Rica VARIOUSMandatory Credit: Photo by Gerard Lacz/REX/Shutterstock (1656328a) Model Released - Maned Three Toed Sloth, bradypus torquatus, Man with a Baby in his Hand, Pantanal in Brazil STOCKtwo sloths on a tree in costa ricaThree toed tree sloth in hand.Mandatory Credit: Photo by BENJAMIN STANSALL/REX/Shutterstock (377021f) ROXY PERU, THE 6 WEEK OLD HOFFMANN'S SLOTH BABY HOFFMANN'S SLOTH, NEWQUAY ZOO, BRITAIN - 13 FEB 2002USA: Feature Rates Apply MANDATORY CREDIT: R Richardson/Rex Shutterstock. Only for use in this story. Editorial Use Only. No stock, books, advertising or merchandising without photographer's permission Mandatory Credit: Photo by R Richardson/REX/Shutterstock (5754350j) Marshmallow the sloth Sloths at Sloth Sanctuary, Costa Rica - Jul 2016 **Full Story Available. Please contact your account manager for written feature.** Famed for laziness, young sloths flaunt acrobatic skills in this adorable album. In contortionist-like poses, babies Cholo and Brady dangle from poles at Sloth Sanctuary Costa Rica. Meanwhile the sanctuary's iconic, first sloth Buttercup sticks with the reputation for lounging around. Pictured sunning herself on a terrace, she idly gazes into the camera lens.
You’ve probably heard of pregnancy doulas, maybe even death doulas, but now more women are turning to little-known abortion doulas to guide them through the process of having a termination.
A doula is a woman who gives support, help, and advice to another woman, traditionally during pregnancy and birth.
Using a doula is becoming more popular – one study found that the number of women who used a doula during pregnancy doubled between 2006 and 2013 from 3% to 6%.
So it’s no wonder women are looking for ways doulas can help in other areas as well.
An abortion doula is someone who is trained to provide emotional, physical, and informational support during and after an abortion procedure.
When considering an abortion, there are generally difficult decisions to be made and loads of information to take in. This can be overwhelming for patients, so a doula can act a much-needed source of comfort and reassurance.
There is still an enormous amount of societal stigma attached to abortions. As a result, women often feel they have to keep it secret, sometimes only telling one or two close friends or family members. And there are many who go it alone.
In these scenarios, doulas are invaluable. Alison Edwards is a doula who works on abortions as well as pregnancy and post-natal care. She says a big part of being an abortion doula is offering balanced and impartial advice.
‘My job is to give non-judgemental emotional and practical support, as well as evidence-based, relevant information to any woman looking to not continue with her pregnancy. For any reason,’ Alison tells Metro.co.uk.
‘I offer no opinions, just space and time for women to get to the right decision themselves.’
The job is full-on. Alison know’s it’s important to provide round-the-clock support in these scenarios. She immerses herself totally in her client’s journey.
‘I refer to and attend the clinics with them and stay overnight to be there for them emotionally and physically after the procedure.
‘I want to be sure they are bathed, fed and have slept – even if just a little. Sometimes we talk into the small hours, sometimes we don’t talk much at all.’
Alison made the decision to begin offering abortion services in addition to pregnancy services when she encountered a friend in need.
‘I had a very close friend living in a country where abortions were not legal except for medical reasons (at discretion). She called me explaining that she had to leave the abusive relationship she was in and terminate her pregnancy.
‘She feared for her life and had been badly injured. I paid for and arranged her flight and appointments to make sure she had good care and someone with her. I couldn’t let her do that alone.
‘It fuelled my desire to support any choices women made. I then incorporated it into what I offer as a doula. It’s full-spectrum care.’
Alison thinks choice has to be at the heart of this decision. She believes a woman’s body is her own and whatever decision is made, a woman should have access to adequate treatment and support.
‘I feel very strongly that women have complete body autonomy and nothing else matters. To go through something of such magnitude alone is inhumane,’ she explains.
‘We can give comfort, both physical and mental throughout the process. There is no doubt that their mental health is much improved by having access to such care.
‘Women fear how people will see them after deciding to have a termination. The social taboo is very much still there.
‘For some, even accessing an abortion means travel and time away from home – so I hope to be a warm, comforting, consistent presence for anyone going through the process.’
What are my options?
Alison thinks that one of the biggest worries about abortion is coping with the pressure of keeping it to yourself.
‘These women face huge mental and physical anguish and discomfort. That’s compounded by the fact that they probably won’t tell anyone – they will power through in their jobs, maybe even in their relationship and in front of their family and friends.
‘For anyone deciding to have an abortion I would urge them to get support. Take time off to recover. Go out in nature. Eat well. Find that someone you can open up to, to help process it all.
‘There will be bleeding, be prepared. You will be exhausted either by the medication or the mental strength it takes. Have somewhere to go, someone to watch over you if you can.
‘If this is the right choice for you – hold your head high. You owe it to yourself to treat yourself kindly.’
Rhia Lawrence has had two experiences of abortion. The first time, at 21, she chose to terminate her pregnancy as she was half way through her arts degree and wanted to keep studying.
The second time, more recently when she was in her early thirties, was more complicated. After a fleeting romance, Rhia decided she wanted to keep the baby, but as the weeks passed she began to have second thoughts about entering single motherhood.
‘I began to question whether it was fair to intentionally bring a child into the world who would likely have no stable father figure, and whether abortion was something I should consider,’ Rhia explains.
‘When I was around eight weeks pregnant, I started a relationship with a new man and was transparent about my situation. As our relationship deepened, the thought of me becoming a new mum in the near future began to cause him anxiety and he broke it off.
‘I didn’t want to stop seeing him and eventually I decided to choose our burgeoning relationship over single-motherhood.’
Rhia, who is also a professional birth doula, thinks that the trauma and sense of loss experienced following an abortion procedure is often underplayed or ignored.
‘It is an overlooked element of loss. Women have abortions for many different reasons, not just contraceptive accidents. There is an assumption that the choice was an easy one,’ she explains.
‘There is an overwhelming focus on the other types of loss: miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death, which can mean that those whose pregnancy outcomes end in abortion don’t feel they have as much right to take up space and have a voice in the cultural milieu of baby loss.
‘It is similar with early miscarriage, which often isn’t approached by caregivers with the same tact as later miscarriages.’
She thinks an abortion doula is something that every woman should have access to, and for her, it would have been an enormous help.
‘Before making my decision I sought counsel from lots of friends, family and colleagues but because they were not paid professionals I didn’t feel I could burden them in the same way as I would if there had been a transactional element to the relationship.
‘A few weeks later, when my relationship was breaking down and I was feeling emotionally volatile around the onset of my first post-pregnancy period, the listening and expertise of a doula would have helped to ease some of the anger and resentment I was feeling at the situation.’
The decision to have an abortion is never made lightly, and the stigma can lead to many women feeling isolated and alone. Abortion doulas could provide a lifeline of support and comfort, particularly for people who have nowhere else to turn.
Find a doula
To find a doula in your area, for any element of the pregnancy and birthing process, visit www.doula.org.uk
Positive pregnancy testPositive pregnancy testnataliemorris88Woman's hand holding positive pregnancy testwoman lying downWhy we should care about children?s mental wellbeing - and what we can do to help (Picture: Ella Byworth/ Metro.co.uk) Metro Illustration IllustrationsGrieving for someone we barely know
Santa Claus has had a serious glow up this year – department store Selfridges has turned him into a rock star.
For their annual Christmas display, they’ve transformed their shop windows into a mini-concert space for a rock and roll themed celebration.
You can pop down to Oxford Street, London, to see the famous display, complete with Santa rocking out with an electric guitar.
The main man in red also seems to have gone on a weight loss regime as he appears to be smaller than the one we all grew up with.
Have you been at Weight Watchers this year, Santa?
Set designer Anna Burns designed the Rock and Star machine for the Orchard Street windows. Her design flows across all three windows, starting with a machine inspired by an organ grinder.
‘Christmas at Selfridges’ goes into the organ grinder and out of the machine comes a giant shooting star.
Hannah Emslie, Selfridge’s head of creative presentation, told Metro.co.uk about the theme for the display and how they wanted it to reflect freedom, exuberance, and living for today vibes.
‘We are celebrating the enduring spirit of rock ‘n’ roll with a Christmas theme called Selfridges Rocks Christmas,’ she said.
‘We are bringing out the fun, rocking and wild side of Santa and Christmas in a very playful and glittering way.’
As expected, the team has been working year-round to bring it altogether with some props taking up to six months to put together.
You can expect to see a giant cascading and spiralling piano, complete with a rock-n-roll Mrs Claus rotating on a golden circular platform.
And the festive duo’s suits were also made by top designers such as Dilara Findikoglu, Gieves & Hawkes, Walter Van Beirendonck, J Brand, and Halpern and Shrimps.
You can catch the displays from now until Christmas day so don’t forget your air guitar pose next to rock Santa for the Instagram.
How much work goes into the Selfridge's Christmas display?
Selfridges unveils it's Christmas windowSelfridges unveils it's Christmas windowfaimabakar1Selfridges is the first department store in the world to unveil its Christmas windows and full in-store displays led by the theme ???Selfridges Rocks Christmas??? ??? today, 18th October featuring Santa's alter ego 'Rock Santa' playing the guitar. PHOTO MATT WRITTLE ?? copyright Matt Writtle 2018.Selfridges is the first department store in the world to unveil its Christmas windows and full in-store displays led by the theme ???Selfridges Rocks Christmas??? ??? today, 18th October featuring Santa's alter ego 'Rock Santa' playing the guitar. PHOTO MATT WRITTLE ?? copyright Matt Writtle 2018.Selfridges is the first department store in the world to unveil its Christmas windows and full in-store displays led by the theme ???Selfridges Rocks Christmas??? ??? today, 18th October featuring Santa's alter ego 'Rock Santa' playing the guitar. PHOTO MATT WRITTLE ?? copyright Matt Writtle 2018.Selfridges is the first department store in the world to unveil its Christmas windows and full in-store displays led by the theme ???Selfridges Rocks Christmas??? ??? today, 18th October featuring Santa's alter ego 'Rock Santa' playing the guitar. PHOTO MATT WRITTLE ?? copyright Matt Writtle 2018.
When dating, we all look for certain qualities in our future partner, with some more important than others.
It could be physical aspects (perhaps you really like men with beards or appreciate a curvy bottom) or more complex ones such as religious background, whether the other person wants kids and general life values.
But as you tick items off your imaginary list of preferences, where do you stand on the financial side of things?
In other words, how important is it that your partner has money?
For the average person, this could mean financial stability or that the other person has monetary ambitions, job goals and is able to support themselves.
But for others, it’s specifically about how much is in the bank account – and it’s often a deal-breaker.
There’s actually a psychological term for it, known as hypergamy, though you probably know it under its more commonly used name – gold digging.
Natalija Rascotina, who runs a psychotherapy clinic in Pimlico, London, tells Metro.co.uk that hypergamy tendencies could be due to experiences in childhood.
‘Although “hypergamy” sounds more scientific than the almost offensive “gold digging”, both point at meeting personal needs at someone else’s expense – a person who has had troublesome early family experiences and has seen damage to their self-esteem,’ she said.
‘Essential differences are that hypergamy points at someone who is more interested in the status and power than the often accompanying money, whereas a gold digger is less interested in the status and power, but is easily satisfied if there is financial reward.
‘Gold digging is a rather self-centred experience in comparison to hypergamy, where the essential element is to be acknowledged by other people. Often gold diggers are deeply hurt people who were betrayed very early in life and were unable to come to terms with it.
‘With a developed sense of entitlement these ladies or gentlemen only trust money, and are often unable to give emotionally.’
A quick internet search reveals women are considered to be more prone to hypergamy or ‘marrying up’, as it is also referred to. But as this was generally mentioned on websites aimed at male audiences, we consulted a more factual source.
A research paper with multiple authors released in 2016, titled ‘The End of Hypergamy: Global Trends and Implications’, looks specifically at the educational gender gap and the lack of education for women in previous years.
According to the study, which looked at analysis and data from 120 countries for the period 1960 to 2011, education was the lead factor in the reversal of hypergamy and increase in hypogamy (a scenario where wives are more educated than their husbands).
Cultural aspects and societal restraints are important to consider. Back in the day, when looking to pair up with an eligible bachelor, women were forced to look at his earnings, given some were unable to work, didn’t have enough education to do so or weren’t allowed.
Rascotina said: ‘As society shatters anachronistic taboos of race and class – where perhaps Harry and Meghan Markle are the prime example – people look for equals to share their lives with, while hypergamists and gold diggers primarily look to trade their assets for personal gain.
‘It is not surprising that in western society, women who are independent by nature or successful themselves would expect their mate to be at least equal in standing.’
So we’ve established there is now a more equal ground when it comes to genders, but where does one actually go to dig for gold?
There are multiple sites designed for this specific purpose, such as Seeking, which is primarily aimed at women looking for wealthy men (both offers both) and has over 10 million members across 139 countries.
When asking some of its members how they define their relationships, sugar daddy Carl tells Metro.co.uk that he doesn’t consider his partners gold diggers.
‘A gold digger is someone who just wants to use men for money,’ he said.
‘That’s not the relationship I have with my girlfriends. They are genuine and we both get what we are looking for out of dating someone.’
Meanwhile, sugar baby Simon, who is casually dating the Vice President of a telecommunications company, was intrigued by the idea after hearing about it from a friend.
‘I heard one of my friend’s talking about a crazy party that he went to with his sugar daddy and I wanted to try it. Now, here I am, three years in, living the life of a gay sugar baby,’ he said.
‘Who doesn’t like to date someone with a little bit of money? Men who are successful in their careers have characteristics of intelligence, discipline and the ability to work hard. I admire that. I decided to make a change in my dating lifestyle because I want to build with someone who has things figured out at this point in their lives.’
Another site is Rich Meet Beautiful, which defines itself as a ‘sugar dating network’ and on its homepage explains the differences between the sugar daddy, sugar mama and sugar baby, and – of course – teases you with pictures of some of its hottest members.
Whatever the reasons for hypergamy or gold digging, it’s clear there is a community of people to engage with, and that it has evolved in recent years.
Oh, and if you’re after your own sugar something and are looking for specific locations in the UK, we’ve even created a helpful list for you.
sex-worker-with-clientssex-worker-with-clientsallieabgarianHow to compliment a woman without being a dick
I don’t consider myself a religious person, but standing at the Western Wall in Jerusalem with my head bowed in silence, I found myself overcome with emotion.
Moments earlier, I had carefully tucked a folded piece of paper into a crevice of what was also known as the Wailing Wall, the most religiously significant site for Jewish people.
On my bit of paper, I had written the names of family members – both living and long since gone – along with a wish for eternal happiness. For people of many faiths who visit the wall, it’s a way to deliver their prayers to God.
I remember reading about this sacred place at school and thinking I’d like to go there one day.
Now, here I was, taking in my surroundings in the specially segregated female section.
Some of the women were sitting in white plastic chairs that lined the wall, others preferred to stand pensive. And for one small moment in time, we were all there united.
The day before, I visited the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, the most religiously significant site for Christians and where Jesus’s tomb is believed to be. It also houses the rock that formed the base of the cross he was crucified on.
Meanwhile, Dome of the Rock, which is instantly recognisable on the city’s skyline, is one of the most holy sites in Islam.
You see, Jerusalem, at over 3,000 years old, is not only considered holy by Christians, Jews, and Muslims, but it’s also one of the oldest continuously inhabited and diverse cities on the planet.
It even has more than 70 different names.
But regardless of what you choose to call it, it’s a destination for pilgrimage for many people, and around 3 million people from around the world flock there each year to pay their respects.
You don’t have to be religious to appreciate Jerusalem’s draw, though, for there’s plenty to see and do for non-religious tourists too.
Given its status as a cultural melting pot, Jerusalem doesn’t fail to deliver in the food stakes.
From street eats to sit down fine dining, the city caters for everyone – so come hungry and with loose fitting clothes as your tastebuds are in for a treat.
Machane Yehuda Market is the perfect place to stop for lunch or dinner as there are so many vendors you can choose from, but you can also browse for spices and other items.
Falafel and bread are everywhere, but the street vendors that sell them can smell tourists a mile away. So do barter, and don’t be afraid to walk away – it’s a way of life to them.
‘Wiping’ hummus – the way you eat this Levantine spread – is a must. Hachapuria, a Georgian bakery in the market, has the best around.
Jewish food is also available in abundance, and all of it is kosher.
For the uninitiated, it means you won’t find meats such as pork, and dairy and meat products will never be mixed or served together on the same table.
But make sure you check out the menus properly if you have a particular dietary requirement.
One eatery that ticks a lot of boxes is Jacko’s Street, an Israeli restaurant offering kosher meals.
Go there for a fine dining experience, and make sure you save room for dessert.
At night, the market is transformed into a buzzing quarter for the young at heart.
It’s your opportunity to see the commissioned graffiti that decorate the closed shutters, while a cacophony of music fills the air.
There are organised tours themed on graffiti and night life so you won’t miss a thing. You can even go on a bar crawl.
For travellers looking for a spot of culture, Jerusalem is home to a number of world-class museums.
One of the biggest is the Israel Museum, which houses an eclectic collection of art and archaeological pieces on rotation.
It’s also where you will find the Shrine of the Book Complex, a sanctuary that stores the Dead Sea Scrolls – priceless religious writing that are some 2,000 years old.
Located on the hills of Mount Remembrance, you will also find Yad Vashem, Israel’s largest Holocaust museum. Entrance is free but there are guided tours you can book.
Our guide took us through nine galleries that depicted the Holocaust through photographs, films, documents, letters and works of art, along with personal items found in concentration camps and ghettos.
To say it was moving would be an understatement – but that is part of the essence of Jerusalem.
How to get there and where to stay
I stayed at Hotel Yehuda and Spa. Double room prices start from £112pp with breakfast included – you’ve not lived until you’ve tried an Israeli breakfast buffet.
WIZZ Air flies to Tel Aviv from London Luton on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays. Flights start from £102.99pp one way.
Depending on traffic, it takes just over an hour to get from Ben Gurion Airport to Jerusalem. You can travel by bus, which is the cheapest method (around £3) or taxi, which will set you back by £50 – 60.
For more information on things to do in Jerusalem, visit iTravelJerusalem.
(Top picture: Getty)
JerusalemJerusalemtinakcampbellJerusalem hummus Jerusalem sweet breadBeer Bazaar JerusalemHolocaust Remembrance Center
If you’re a dog owner, you’ll know that fireworks can be seriously stressful – and bonfire night is probably an annual source of anxiety.
But if the big bangs leave your pooch trembling under the sofa, this year you can use a special anxiety hotline – just for dogs.
Due to the lack of opposable thumbs, it will likely be down to the humans to do the actual calling. Dog owners will be able to live-chat with a team of specialists who can offer free advice on how to keep your pet calm.
Healthy dog food company Edgard & Cooper, are launching the service in a bid to help nervous dogs and limit the effects of anxiety.
Co-founder Louis Chalabi says, ‘Fireworks travel up to 150mph at up to 120 decibels, it’s no wonder our dogs suffer on Bonfire Night. The service will go-live at 6pm on 5 November, and will run till 11.30pm that evening.’
Fireworks are particularly terrifying for dogs because they can hear four times the distance of a human and can hear higher pitched sounds, at a frequency range of 67-45,000 Hz.
So while we might be able to enjoy the spectacle and excitement of a fireworks display, for your dog it could feel like an unbearable bombardment of the senses. And when they don’t know where the sounds are coming from, it’s not surprising they feel on edge.
And there are other ways to tell if your dog is feeling anxious. If they’re not hiding, they might bark more than normal, tremble, drool, or even have an accident on the carpet. So if you’re dog is acting strangely, consider it might be down to stress before scolding them.
How to keep your dog calm on bonfire night
Make them a den: Dogs can learn to develop the habit of feeling safe in a particular space with positive associations. In the weeks before, make a den and cover it with heavy, sound-muffling blankets. Go in there with him/her on a regular basis, cuddle them and play music (dogs prefer the sounds of reggae or soft rock). Use this time to prepare by playing pre-recorded firework noises in the background.
Think nutrition: Processed food packed full of additives has the same impact on dogs as it does on us – driving low moods, irritability and anxiety. The likes of blueberries, kale, beef, oily fish and turkey have all been proven to help alleviate anxiety.Get your dog into a good, healthy routine in advance, to maximise the mood-benefits. On the night, couple this with something to gnaw on, for example a bone. This can help distract them from their feelings of anxiousness.
Teach positive associations: Help your dog learn to perceive the sounds in a more positive way. You can use classical conditioning to create new associations with their ‘triggers’. Food is a powerful reinforcement, but you can also take advantage of behaviours which are incompatible with fear – playing, chasing, exploring, etc. Using the playlists mentioned, get into a routine of doing something they love that distracts them whilst the noise is going on, and you’ll begin to change their association with the thing they fear.
Tire them out: Take your dog out for at least one long walk during the day, and make it a good one. Once you do get home, reward them with a calming, nutritious meal, shut the window and close the curtains, and prepare to settle in for the night.
Wrap them up: If you’re planning on taking your dog out with you on Bonfire night, make sure you have a lead and plenty of treats. You can even dress them in a an ‘anxiety wrap’, also known as a Thundershirt, which is ‘coat’ style wrap that has been proven to soothe anxiety as it creates gentle pressure on the body, just like a hug.
Stay with them: Just like us, dogs derive comfort from contact with those they love. Studies have also shown that they’re hugely influenced by the behaviours of their owners. You can act as a buffer against stress – so be a calming presence. Try massaging them if this is something they like. Talk in a soothing voice and stay with them for the duration. After all, as any dog-lover knows, they’re well worth sacrificing a night out at the Bonfire for.
Dr. Monteny, Dog Whisperer at Edgard & Cooper
If this hotline sounds like the perfect solution for your pup, then you can access the number at edgardcooper.co.uk on 5 November.
We know babies inherit genes from their parents but they don’t tend to be environmental factors carried on from parent to children.
But a new study shows that sperm can pass traumas that men have experienced in their lives, as well as other lifestyle choices such as diet to their kids.
Sperms carry ‘epigenetic’ marks the determine how a child’s cells develop, according to researchers at the University of California, Santa Cruz.
Their research comes after a study showed that sons of Union Army soldiers had a higher risk of an earlier death if their dads experienced brutal conditions as prisoners of war.
The research on mice and humans found that 10% of epigenetic information is contained in sperm.
Dr Susan Strome tested epigenetic information in sperm, known as ‘histone packaging’, in her lab to see the effect on subjects.
She found that once they removed the epigenetic marker called H3K27me3 which is known for repressing gene expression from subjects, they became infertile.
So they realised that the marker is important for the offspring’s development.
‘These findings show that the DNA packaging in sperm is important, because offspring that did not inherit normal sperm epigenetic marks were sterile, and it is sufficient for normal germline development,’ Dr. Strome said.
‘The goal is to analyse how the chromatin packaging changes in the parent,’ she said.
‘Whatever gets passed on to the offspring has to go through the germ cells. We want to know which cells experience the environmental factors, how they transmit that information to the germ cells, what changes in the germ cells, and how that impacts the offspring.’
Trauma – which we consider to be a lifestyle experience – can have long-lasting effects on a person and then be passed down to their children.
The medical community is now accepting that those who’ve endured painful memories can be left with a lingering impact the brain which may limit their ability to create memories.
Being on high alert as well, due to the trauma – whether from sexual abuse, death of a loved one, difficult upbringings – can then change the way cells develop which can be inherited by children who have not experienced it.
Other studies support the claims as they show even fears can be inherited by those who have not experienced the pain of a phobia themselves but are still triggered by stimulation.
Another study showed how Finnish children separated from their parents during the Second World War had higher rates of psychiatric hospitalisation.
The results of Dr. Strome and others will certainly be interesting in how we address traumas experienced by individuals.
Young dad making phone call and looking after toddler girlYoung dad making phone call and looking after toddler girlfaimabakar1
Ah, the sugar daddy joke.
A humorous, throwaway comment often uttered when discussing dwindling finances.
While most people probably wouldn’t openly admit that they’re after a man or woman to pay for their wants and needs, the sugar daddy community is a very real one – with hoards of members.
Just take a look at Sugar Daddy Meet, Sugar Daddy for Me or Seeking, if you don’t believe us.
Voted the top three sites to find a sugar partner in 2018, the communities have a combined total of 15.3 million users.
To find out more about what’s so great about the ‘sugar lifestyle’, we interviewed three people, including one sugar daddy and two sugar babies, on why they like it.
Here’s what they said.
Carl, 46, Investor, based in three cities, sugar daddy
I have two girlfriends right now, in two different cities; I’m based in New York, Toronto and London.
My girlfriend in New York loves the theater, so whenever I am in town, I treat her to dinner in Times Square and take her to a Broadway show.
She just lights up every time. I try to surprise her with a handbag each time, too – her favourite designer is Yves Saint Laurent.
I do not consider being a sugar daddy as supplying gold diggers. Before I ever even meet a woman, I make sure we are both on the same page.
Though I wouldn’t say I’ve been offended by a sugar baby request, I have engaged in conversations with women who were looking for an arrangement I’m not willing to offer. They never even made it to an in-person meet.
My girlfriends are both hardworking, educated and bright, and it brings me joy to be able to ease any of their financial burdens.
It makes me happy to surprise them with gifts. I also really enjoy sharing in the incredible experiences I have with someone else.
Monica, 23, grad student, Wales, sugar baby
I’m currently single but have been a sugar baby since the first year of college, so it’s been at least five years.
I look for someone who is goal-orientated, and someone I can learn from and have an actual and meaningful connection with.
And I also love experiencing the finer things in life and am an avid traveller, so I like dating men with whom I can share this.
There’s a difference between gold diggers and sugar babies; I definitely don’t consider myself a gold digger, I’m just naturally attracted to successful, intelligent men who have already figured out their path in life and can help me fulfil my true potential.
A gold digger is someone who goes out with a really old man or woman for only their money and nothing else, there is no real connection or are no feelings between them.
Simon, 24, entry-level marketing specialist, London, sugar baby
I decided to try sugar dating when I was a sophomore in college.
Of course, it’s nice to have a relationship with some luxury on the side, but I want someone to guide me in life. In return, I want to bring joy into their life. Gold diggers spend an exhausting amount of time looking for what they want. I don’t dig for gold. I find it naturally.
I am currently single but I have a partner that I see when he’s in the city. He is the vice president of sales for a telecommunications company.
It’s important to take care of yourself financially in an expensive city. Dating someone who has a little more money allows you to experience things you normally wouldn’t in an average relationship.
Companionship and an investment in my future is what I’m looking for.
sleep wellsleep wellallieabgariansleep well
When you’re eating ice cream, calories are usually the last thing you want to think about. A healthy diet is all about balance and it’s important to treat yo self from time to time.
But if you’re working towards weight loss or just trying to be a bit more conscious with your diet choices, then our old friends Ben and Jerry have just made it a little bit easier.
The incredibly named ‘moo-phoria’ collection is the brand’s lighter range of healthier ice cream. With between 140 and 160 calories per serving, it’s a slightly healthier dessert option – which means we can eat the whole tub right?
Made with all the good stuff, including organic milk, cream and non-GMO ingredients, the new flavours are perfect if your sweet tooth just can’t be tamed.
The four new flavours in the Moo-phoria range sound pretty great, and not exactly ‘healthy’.
Cherry Garcia with a Twist features chocolate ice cream and fudge flakes, and Mocha Fudge Brownie blends cold brew ice cream with brownies and marshmallow swirls.
PB Marshmallow contrasts gooey marshmallow with crunchy peanut butter cookies, and Chocolate Cookie EnlightenMint is packed with decadent fudge truffles.
The new additions join the three original moo-phoria flavours, Cookie Caramel Fix, Chocolate Milk and Cookies and P.B. Dough, which launched last month.
A standard tub of the classic Chocolate Fudge Brownie flavour contains around 3,500 calories, or almost 900 calories per serving so the new range is really just a fraction of the fat, but hopefully still delivers on flavour.
Ben and Jerry's launch four new 'lighter' flavoursBen and Jerry's launch four new 'lighter' flavoursnataliemorris88Picture: Ben and Jerry's Ben and Jerry's launch four new 'lighter' flavoursPicture: Ben and Jerry's Ben and Jerry's launch four new 'lighter' flavours
I’m mixed race; my mother Dutch and my father Ghanaian.
I lost my mother in July 2017, and that had a big impact on me. She was 87 and lived a very full life.
Her death made me look at her life and all that she achieved – the sacrifices she made as a woman, and the incredible life experiences she had – in detail.
She was able to connect with people from all walks of life.
When she was younger, she travelled with the Amsterdam Circus as a trapeze artist, where she eventually met my father, who worked in the circus as a fire blower and tap dancer.
After they were together, she travelled to Ghana to live in a completely different culture.
My mother went on to become the private ballet teacher for the children of Dr Kwame Nkrumah, Ghana’s first president after its independence.
She also raised three mixed race children in the 50s.
To put this in context, I remember travelling with my mum on one of her business trips to Denver, Colorado, when I was a child.
On arrival at the airport, the staff asked my mother if I was her maid.
I never took this too seriously, but I noticed that it affected her, and that hurt me.
My mother sacrificed her life for her mixed race children. She suffered a lot of prejudice for it and I occasionally felt responsible.
Today, I embrace my dual cultural heritage and accept how it enriches my family’s life and mine.
I could never deny the part of her in me, and I find it insulting when people insinuate that I’m black as opposed to mixed.
It saddens me that she’s no longer here and I can’t introduce my mum to anyone anymore.
Then it occurred to me that I was not alone, and that it was important to create a platform for others like myself, and give each person the time to talk.
That’s how Mixedracefaces came into being – along with my son Solon, his wife Rachael, my other children Rienkje, Denver and Rio and friends Oliver Pearson, Femi Aseru and Sacha Todd, we captured portraits and interviewed people with compelling stories about their mixes and how these define them.
To many, the initial impression of the term mixed race is often just black and white.
Our platform sheds light on the vast and interesting mixes around the world. We get many people approaching us saying ‘people look at me and do not think I am mixed’. We love this, and can’t wait to hear their stories.
At the moment, we are talking to people in London and Amsterdam. And through this project, I have found that where you are raised has a big impact on how you identify yourself.
For example, while interviewing people in London, most people differentiate between their two cultures and identify as mixed-race, but in the Netherlands, I am finding that mixed people identify with being Dutch and not necessarily with their cultural make up.
The feedback from this project has been amazing, with people finding it inspiring to read stories from those like them.
But we want to do more – we want to create a platform for people to relate to, so they can share honest and open life stories and help others be comfortable in their skin, celebrate their cultural differences and find people who share similar experiences.
We also want to connect people by tagging our models for them to be identified, putting a name behind the face. Enabling conversation.
And finally we want to expose the hidden cultures that make up our population.
Since starting this project, we have had only two challenging emails; one on the misconception of the title ‘mixedracefaces’ and the other a racist remark, which have only given me the drive to grow this project even further.
Mixed Race Faces is dedicated to my mum though, and the beautiful gift she gave me and my children.
It’s funny, but I’m even more proud of my mixed heritage today than I ever have been, and I’m grateful to my mother for giving me the ability to see the world through two different perspectives.
MRFzoet-2-164eMRFzoet-2-164eqinxie(Picture: Tenee Attoh)Tenee with her mother and her siblings One of Tenee's subjects, who is of English and Indian descent (Picture: Tenee Attoh)Yannick Wood, who is Nigerian, English and Ghanaian (Picture: Tenee Attoh)
There are many accounts of the hardships faced by women on a daily basis such as violence, institutional bias, everyday sexism, but it’s not often that we see a perspective of male hardships.
Writer Caitlin Moran wanted to open the discourse and asked men what disadvantages they face by virtue of being male.
The How to be a Woman author said we discuss female adversities often but never what men are going through.
And then men responded in droves to the tweet which has over 14,000 likes.
Writer Luke Barnes won a lot of support for his comment to the thread listing some of the reasons; ‘Emotional repression. Competition. Pressure to behave as an extrovert. Valued by looks and economic sucesss not humanity. Scared to approach women for fear of harassment. Value by physically being able to stand ground. Value by height and hair.’
‘We have very few avenues to emotionally express ourselves. We’re supposed to fit this stereotype of being tough and only wanting to touch if it comes with sex. I want a hug and head pats, dammit,’ wrote one user on Twitter.
While another man wrote: ‘I’m tired of people judging a man who enjoys wearing women’s clothes. He always gets called either homosexual (with a much less friendly word). Nobody bats an eye when a woman wears a tux. Why is a man wearing a pretty dress any different?’
‘The one thing I feel is a downside of being a man is the solitude. Tending to deal with problems alone whilst presenting a strong front and keeping a stoic positivity,’ wrote another.
The conversation led to an interesting discussion about who is responsible for the downsides and how both the patriarchy and toxic masculinity play a part in it.
Most aired their grievances at how society has many financial expectations of them as well as emotional whereby they aren’t allowed to show any.
Men explained how women are nurtured and nursed by people when the situation warrants it but men are expected to be self-reliant even in tough conditions.
‘My sister and I don’t have a father, and when people’s reaction to us are really different. For my sister, she gets compassion, hugs, and can talk about it, which I envy. When I say I don’t have a father, people say “oh that’s why you don’t like sports, that’s why you’re bi, etc”,’ said one person on the Twitter thread.
‘Pressure, endless crushing pressure from society to be strong and unemotional and successful and unsuffering. All while the things that would probably support you are heavily frowned upon, discouraged and if taken you are ostracised for being less of a man,’ said another comment.
There are almost 7,000 comments detailing the experiences of men which are an enlightening read, important for us to know if we want to move forward as a society.
Exhausted businessman sitting at desk in office at nightExhausted businessman sitting at desk in office at nightfaimabakar1
We can spend hours deliberating over what to call our new pet.
But despite all that time, it seems very few of us, actually call our dogs by their given names.
A thread listing all the things people actually call their pets has spread across Twitter.
It seems we’ve got a name for every tone with most people listing everything from cute pet names to the simple ‘oi you’ when they aren’t paying attention.
And many of the names are certainly far removed from the original.
Conkers could kill your dogConkers could kill your doglauraabernethy6
Rice can be the perfect accompaniment to many dishes – but it’s not exactly the healthiest choice.
Scientists, however, are developing a way to cut the calorie content by half.
A normal cup of rice contains around 240 calories but by adding a teaspoon of coconut oil to the water before cooking it and then refrigerating the food for 12 hours after cooking, you can cut that.
Starch can be digestible or indigestible, also known as resistant starch. The researchers reasoned that if they could transform digestible starch into resistant starch, then that could lower the number of usable calories of the rice.
Unlike digestible types of starch, resistant starch is not broken down in the small intestine, where carbohydrates normally are metabolised into glucose and other simple sugars and absorbed into the bloodstream.
The research, which was presented in 2015 at the 249th National Meeting & Exposition of the American Chemical Society (ACS), involved looking at 38 different rice from Sri Lanka.
By adding the oil to the water, before adding half a cup of rice, simmering for 40 minutes and then refrigerating for 12 hours, they found there was 10 times more resistant starch, compared to normal rice.
‘Because obesity is a growing health problem, especially in many developing countries, we wanted to find food-based solutions,” says team leader Sudhair A. James, who is at the College of Chemical Sciences, Colombo, Western, Sri Lanka.
‘We discovered that increasing rice resistant starch (RS) concentrations was a novel way to approach the problem.’
‘After your body converts carbohydrates into glucose, any leftover fuel gets converted into a polysaccharide carbohydrate called glycogen,’ he explains.
‘Your liver and muscles store glycogen for energy and quickly turn it back into glucose as needed. The issue is that the excess glucose that doesn’t get converted to glycogen ends up turning into fat, which can lead to excessive weight or obesity.’
As the oil enters the starch granules during cooking, changing its architecture so that it becomes resistant to the action of digestive enzymes.
This means that fewer calories ultimately get absorbed into the body.
‘The cooling is essential because amylose, the soluble part of the starch, leaves the granules during gelatinization,’ explains James.
‘Cooling for 12 hours will lead to formation of hydrogen bonds between the amylose molecules outside the rice grains which also turns it into a resistant starch.’
Cooking rice to half the caloriesCooking rice to half the calorieslauraabernethy6Cooking rice to half the caloriesFood, Rice ball,
Mum-of-two Laura Atkinson was told she had stage four Ocular Uveal Melanoma – a type of eye cancer – when she went for a routine opticians appointment four years ago.
The 37-year-old had an operation to remove the tumour even though she was pregnant at the time with her second child, Dylan. But sadly, the cancer spread to her liver.
She’s now desperate to stay alive long enough to take Dylan, three, for his first day at school in September next year.
To prepare her children for life without her, Laura has begun writing them letters and cards for the birthdays she won’t be around for.
Laura, who is also mum to daughter Faye, six, lives in Cheshire and is currently receiving treatment from the Spire Southhampton Hospital which she hopes will let her reach this milestone.
‘I just want to take my son to his first day at school,’ she said. ‘If I make it to September then everything after that is bonus time with my children.
‘While I’m still able to I want to make memories and do nice things that they can remember.
‘I have to think about what will happen when I’m not there.’
In August 2017, while on a family holiday, Laura was called in by doctors following a routine scan and exploratory surgery and was given the news that there was nothing more they could do.
She said: ‘it was completely blindsiding. I wasn’t having symptoms, so it totally came out of the blue.’
Laura said that since she was given the news, she’s focused on trying to spend as much time as possible with Dylan and Faye and her husband Keith, 46.
She hopes that her children will understand how hard she has fought to stay alive.
She said: ‘I was really angry at the start – not for me, but for the kids. I was so angry that this was happening to them, I don’t understand why that has to happen to them. It’s a terrible thing that will happen to them.
‘I never wanted to go, that is what I hope they understand. I don’t want them to be angry with me.
‘I just hope they won’t be cross and that this was never the way I wanted it to turn out.’
Laura is fundraising £80,000 on GoFundMe for the final two cycles of her treatment, which costs £40,000 per cycle, after funding two herself. You can support her here.
A mum-of-two diagnosed with terminal cancer writes birthday cards for her children for when shes no longer aroundA mum-of-two diagnosed with terminal cancer writes birthday cards for her children for when shes no longer aroundfaimabakar1PIC FROM Caters News - (PICTURED: Laura Atkinson, writing future birthday cards for her children Dylan and Faye) - A mum-of-two diagnosed with terminal cancer says shell write birthday cards for her children for when shes no longer around.Laura Atkinson was given the devastating news that she had stage four Ocular Uveal Melanoma in 2014 after she went for a routine eye test.Despite having an operation to remove the tumour even while she was pregnant with her son Dylan, Lauras cancer spread to her liver.SEE CATERS COPYPIC FROM Caters News - (PICTURED: Laura Atkinson holding Dylan when he was born) - A mum-of-two diagnosed with terminal cancer says shell write birthday cards for her children for when shes no longer around.Laura Atkinson was given the devastating news that she had stage four Ocular Uveal Melanoma in 2014 after she went for a routine eye test.Despite having an operation to remove the tumour even while she was pregnant with her son Dylan, Lauras cancer spread to her liver.SEE CATERS COPYPIC FROM Caters News - (PICTURED: Laura Atkinsons children Dylan and Faye) - A mum-of-two diagnosed with terminal cancer says shell write birthday cards for her children for when shes no longer around.Laura Atkinson was given the devastating news that she had stage four Ocular Uveal Melanoma in 2014 after she went for a routine eye test.Despite having an operation to remove the tumour even while she was pregnant with her son Dylan, Lauras cancer spread to her liver.SEE CATERS COPY
Drinking from a can might conjure up memories of warm beers in the park – but now there’s a fancier option.
If you fancy a Porn Star Martini instead, M&S have launched a version of the cocktail in a can.
Described as ‘a deliciously sweet and exotic blend of passion fruit and vodka’, the cans cost £2 for 250ml.
The drink contains passion fruit, vanilla vodka, passoa, lime juice and sugar syrup.
A spokesperson for the supermarket said: ‘Named one of the nation’s favourite cocktails in 2017, M&S is the first retailer to bring the Porn Star Martini to the high street just in time for the Christmas festivities.
‘Elevating M&S’s extensive selection of quality on the go drinks, the new Porn Star Martini is deliciously sweet and exotic, blending passion fruit with vodka.
‘M&S cocktails in a can comprise 18 delicious drinks- more than any other retailer. With everything from G&T to Caipirinha this vast selection gives customers the ultimate in choice.
‘Various versions of G&T take the top three bestselling spots but, the porn star Martini has shot into fourth place* after just one week of sales.
‘With demand soaring and its stand out gold can, it is truly ‘going for gold’ and is a favourite to overtake gin for the cocktail-in-a-can crown’
M&S pornstar martiniM&S pornstar martinilauraabernethy6M&S pornstar martiniPassionfruit Martini; Shutterstock ID 676468933; Purchase Order: -
There’s no doubt about it – Christmas is coming.
Walkers have launched three new flavours for the festive season.
It’s the first time in a decade the crisp brand have released a ‘crispmas’ range.
You can buy single 32.5g packs of the turkey and stuffing, pigs in blankets and Brussels sprouts flavours for 65p a pack or you can buy multipacks of six packets for £1.50.
The sprout lovers set includes two packs of Brussels sprouts, turkey and stuffing and pigs in blankets.
The sprout haters version includes glazed ham, turkey and stuffing, and cheese and cranberry
Andrew Hawkswell, marketing manager at PepsiCo, said: ‘Here at Walkers we know that Christmas isn’t Christmas without sprouts.
‘Whether you grin or grimace at the sight of them, nothing divides the nation more at Christmas than a sprout – so we have created two Christmas dinner multipacks, one for sprout lovers and one for haters to keep the peace this festive season.’
Walkers Christmas crispsWalkers Christmas crispslauraabernethy6Walkers Christmas crisps(Picture: Walkers)