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Using an anonymous egg donor taught me that being a mother is not about genetics

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Sarah had her daughter Daisy through egg donor treatment in the US. (Picture: Sarah Esdaile)

I wanted children more than anyone I knew, but didn’t meet the man I wanted them with until I was 38.

My husband and I started trying for a baby soon after we were married, but after a failed round of IVF, the doctors told us our options were to forget it, adopt or use donor eggs.

I had never heard of anyone using donor eggs – it all felt too much like an episode of Jeremy Kyle.

At the time, I was devastated and unable to get past the insurmountable idea of having a child with no genetic connection to me.

But, when my sister – who was 37 and had two children of her own – offered to donate her eggs, I accepted with gratitude.

Unfortunately, using my sister’s eggs and my husband’s sperm also failed. I was close to despair, although in hindsight, I consider it a blessing in disguise.

My doctor and I discussed plan B, which came in the form of Dr. Michael Levy at the Shady Grove fertility clinic in Washington, who had seen a high success rate with UK patients using donor eggs.

We knew that we wanted to use an anonymous donor, but still get as much information as possible about her, and moved forward with egg donor treatment in the US. I gave birth to my daughter in March 2014.

When my daughter came out she felt like an old friend that I was desperate to see – I was beyond excited to meet her, yet had a strong sense that I knew her well already.

I feel strongly about telling my story for two reasons.

Firstly, I refuse to be part of the conspiracy of women lying about how they are getting pregnant in their 40s.

I was that woman – reading about celebrities having twins at 45 and using these kind of stories to delude myself that it was ok to wait, because I’d have plenty of time to have a baby.

Secondly, I want women to be aware of the limitations of their fertility: sex education needs to be about more than not getting pregnant or contracting an STD.

It must raise awareness of the brutal decline in fertility with age and how hard it can be to get pregnant at all.

People can be very ignorant about infertility unless they encounter problems of their own, especially when it comes to egg donation. Some have asked me how I got my child back into the country and whether I had to adopt her.

If I had waited until I was completely sure, I would never have done it, but ultimately, it comes down to how much you want a baby.

Being a mother is such a practical thing, there is neither the time nor energy to dwell on anything but keeping your baby clean, fed and thriving.

I experienced that feeling of familiarity that all mothers describe.

When my daughter came out she felt like an old friend that I was desperate to see – I was beyond excited to meet her, yet had a strong sense that I knew her well already.

It was expensive to go to America for treatment but there were advantages, such as the shared risk programme, which means that you are guaranteed a baby or get your money back.

The cost was around $35,000 for up to six rounds of treatment. At the end, you either end up with a baby – in which case money seems irrelevant – or you just lose the price of flights and hotels.

Once I got past the buy-one-get-one-free aspect, I realised that this was a stroke of genius.

People often ask me whether I wish I had only paid for a single round, given I got pregnant on my first attempt, but I don’t. Having the safety net of further rounds enabled me to relax and trust the process.

Some women plan not to tell their children that they are donor-conceived.

There is strong evidence against this; discovering this information when they are older is proven to have an adverse effect on children.

I encourage women who are determined about keeping this a secret to have more counselling, as they have probably not come to terms with the idea yet themselves.

Most women considering donor egg treatment are essentially worried about the same things:

Will I bond with my baby?

Will my child be damaged by this?

What if my baby looks nothing like me?

My message is simple. Being a mother is not about genetics.

To mother is a verb. It is about everything that you do from conception onwards. It is about the nurture and not the nature.

Using an egg donor is without question the best decision I have ever made.

I left it too late to have my own biological child, but I feel lucky that medical science enabled me to do this and that I was able to scrape the money together.

But mostly I feel lucky that I have the absolute privilege of being a mother to the most beautiful, kind and funny little girl I have ever met.

Sarah is a theatre and soon-to-be television director, speechwriter, teacher and also works as a UK patient liaison for Shady Grove Fertility. Most importantly she is Daisy’s mum! Sarah is happy to speak to anyone who is considering donor egg treatment in the US. You can find her website here.

Fertility Month

This story is part of Fertility Month, a month-long series covering all aspects of fertility.

For the next four weeks, we will be speaking to people at all stages of the fertility journey as well as doctors, lawyers and fertility experts who can shed light on the most important issues.

If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, please do get in touch at fertilitystories@metro.co.uk.

Here is a selection of the stories from Fertility Month so far - and you can find all Fertility Month content here.

MORE: Fertility Month: Why we are talking about fertility this month

MORE: I found the perfect sperm donor - but I never got my happy ending

MORE: Plastic could be affecting your fertility – here’s how and why

MORE: How hard is it to get pregnant if you have polycystic ovary syndrome?

MORE: How to get super sperm like the Danish Vikings

MORE: What it's like to have an eating disorder while you're pregnant

MORE: Can you get over not having children when you really wanted to have children?

MORE: My morning sickness was so severe, it forced me to terminate my pregnancy

MORE: Can you get over not having children when you really wanted to have children?

MORE: My endometriosis left me with no choice other than to get a hysterectomy


The best John Lewis Black Friday deals already on offer in 2018

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File photo dated 11/01/17 of a John Lewis store. The John Lewis Partnership has revealed half-year profits crashed 98.8% as it battled against "challenging times" and the most promotional market for nearly a decade. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Thursday September 13, 2018. The owner of the department store chain and supermarket Waitrose posted underlying pre-tax profits of ?1.2 million for the six months to July 28. See PA story CITY JohnLewis. Photo credit should read: Charlotte Ball/PA Wire
John Lewis is set for a busy Black Friday this year (Picture: PA)

John Lewis are one of the many retailers getting involved in the Black Friday madness this year, with hundreds of offers and deals available.

The department store is busy this time of the year, with their launch of their Christmas advert and their giant Black Friday Event kicking off early.

thumbnail for post ID 8166531'Hard to take' - Jonny Bairstow reveals 'disappointment' over Sri Lanka snub

Although Black Friday doesn’t officially get going until tomorrow (23 November) there are plenty of offers to have a look at right now.

We have picked out some of the best John Lewis deals available right now across electricals, homeware, toys and more…

Fitbit Charge 2 Heart Rate and Fitness Tracking Wristband Special Edition – Was £149.99, Now £99.99

(Picture: John Lewis)

Google Home Mini Hands-Free Smart Speaker – Was £49, Now £29

(Picture: John Lewis)

Dell Inspiron 13 5000 Series Convertible Laptop – Was £729.95, Now £529.95

(Picture: John Lewis)

Life Fitness E5 Eliliptical Cross Trainer with Track Connect Console – Was £2,895, Now £2,095

(Picture: John Lewis)

De’Longhi ESAM2200 Venezia Bean-to-Cup Coffee Machine – Was £469, Now £269

(Picture: John Lewis)

Bose® QuietComfort® Noise Cancelling® QC20 Acoustic In-Ear Headphones for iPad, iPhone and iPod – Was £249, Now £129.95

(Picture: John Lewis)

LEGO Harry Potter Hogwarts Whomping Willow and Aragog’s Lair Bundle – Was £67.98, Now £54.99

(Picture: John Lewis)

2017 Apple iPad Pro 10.5″, A10X Fusion, iOS, Wi-Fi, 512GB – Was £969, Now £839

Buy2017 Apple iPad Pro 10.5", A10X Fusion, iOS, Wi-Fi, 512GB, Space Grey Online at johnlewis.com
(Picture: John Lewis)

Sonos SUB Wireless Subwoofer, Black – Was £699, Now £599

BuySonos SUB Wireless Subwoofer, Black Online at johnlewis.com
(Picture: John Lewis)

Le Creuset Toughened Non-Stick Cookware Pan Set, 4 Piece – Was £455, Now £285

BuyLe Creuset Toughened Non-Stick Cookware Pan Set, 4 Piece Online at johnlewis.com
(Picture: John Lewis)

MORE: When is Ryanair’s Cyber Week sale, and what deals can you expect?

MORE: Amazon admits customer data leak ahead of Black Friday

Meet the men offering their sperm to strangers online – but only if they can do ‘natural insemination’

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‘She got pregnant the second time we had sex. Her husband was in the house when we did it,’ says Terry* who donates his sperm through natural insemination… also known as unprotected sex.

Terry, 39, had met the couple when they responded to his Craigslist ad entitled: ‘Looking to impregnate a MILF.’

Expanding on this, Terry wrote: ‘Man wanting to find a hot married milf to let me creampie and impregnate her. Love the idea of f***ing a married wife with the goal of getting her pregnant. I can travel to you & just want to dump all my cum in your pussy and leave, no strings attached. I’m ddf [drugs and disease free] and you should be too.’

The couple, who were in their mid-thirties, told Terry they’d been trying to conceive, but hadn’t had any luck. Tests suggested the issues were on the husband’s side, which was where Terry came in. Terry tells Metro.co.uk: ‘I was hoping for a bit more fun, but it worked too well!’

This isn’t the only time Terry’s delivered the goods. Six months previously, he impregnated a woman in a lesbian relationship, whose partner believed the sperm was inserted artificially. Terry says the woman had never had sex with a man before, but her response to his ad was ‘one of those where they really want a child and they’re willing to go through with everything else that comes with that’.

Six weeks later Terry received a text confirming the woman was pregnant.

‘I text her back but she didn’t reply and the number’s disconnected now,’ says Terry. Terry, who had no intention of contributing financially, and never wanted any involvement in the child’s life, adds: ‘I feel a bit short changed by the radio silence.’

Despite his disappointment, Terry hasn’t lost his stride. ‘Sex is enjoyable — bareback sex even more so,’ he tells us. ‘And if you add the heightened risk of pregnancy when no contraception is used, it really takes it to the next level.’

*illustration request* 2. What is hypoactive sexual desire disorder?
(Picture: Ella Byworth)

Tim’s Craigslist ad is entitled: ‘Feel me come inside you.’ It describes ‘filling you with warmth, wetness and cream’ and refers to leaving respondents ‘full of semen.’

He’s had a response from a lesbian/bi couple who want to conceive, and he’s currently considering it.

‘I’m talking to them,’ says Tim, ‘but there’s a legal complication about sperm donorship which is that if you just donate it, that’s fine, but, as I understand it, if you deliver it the natural way, in law you are the father and liable for child support. I’m getting further legal advice before taking it all the way.’

Having initially interviewed Terry and Tim whilst researching a feature for Londonist, I went on to speak to a dozen more would-be natural-inseminators in the course of an undercover investigation for Cosmopolitan. Out of all the men whose ads I answer, Tim turns out to be the only one who’s thought about the consequences.

‘Fertile woman wanted for breeding,’ says one ad, posted by a 57 year old in Surrey, who explains, ‘I’m in a relationship but the desire to breed is taking over.’

A 44 year old divorcee says: ‘I’m happy to come and frequently have sex till you get pregnant.’

And perhaps in an effort to capitalise on Brexit, one guy asks, ‘Do you want a British baby? Any tourists in London wanting to get impregnated by a British male? Willing to meet you several times whilst you are in town until we reach our goal.’

These are just a few of the ads I browsed before responding and meeting up with several guys in person. Putting myself in the shoes of a woman viewing this as an option, here are some of the questions I asked:

Would they be willing to contribute financially? Perhaps they’d buy the odd birthday present or pair of shoes?

‘Well I’ve been setting my mind on going to live in China,’ says Gary, who’s in his early 30s. ‘I was looking to help people who was ok bringing up the child. Sorry, trying not to sound harsh.’

‘The odd present, I guess – not thought of contributing,’ says a 41 year old whose ad announces, ‘I am turned on by making a stranger pregnant. I would love to unload my seed in a woman any age or size.’

‘You can claim money from the government. They pay you £120 a week,’ says a 28 year old from Essex whose ad promises to ‘f*** you every day till your pregnant, any looks or weight I will give you my cum… I done this a few times and there a lot off happy mums, just to say once we done the deed we never meet again.’

‘I’m a father of three, I can’t afford anymore,’ says Steve, whose wife of 15 years is unaware that he’s offering to get other women pregnant.

But where do they stand legally? Elizabeth Hicks, Head of Family Asset Protection at law firm BCLP says that if the man is proved to be the father, then he has financial responsibility for the child – even if he’s stated that he wouldn’t want to contribute.

Hicks tells Metro.co.uk: ‘the court looks at what’s in the best interests of the child – and the child’s welfare is paramount.’

Would they be want to be involved in the child’s life?

‘Never thought about it, but I’ll defo supply the sperm for you,’ says a 41 year old, who repeatedly offers to give me his load.

‘This is something we can work out and discuss,’ says 42 year old Kevin, whose ad says he’s married. Is this something he’ll be telling his wife about? ‘At the time being it is probably best being discreet,’ he says.

‘No ongoing involvement thereafter,’ says a 48 year old from East London, echoing his ad which stated, ‘prepared to help you achieve your goal without any ties for the future.’

Have they fathered kids before – and if not, how do they know their swimmers are fully functioning?

‘I don’t have my own kids but I helped a couple with my sperm. We had a great time,’ says Carl, a 28 year old I’ve met in Costa Coffee, who looks at me like he might kiss me.

‘I’ve got an old f*** buddy pregnant, so yes it works,’ says my favourite 41 year old. And does he see the child? ‘She didn’t want me to, so no.’

‘I have two kids and I’ve helped with three pregnancies, so I’m very fertile,’ says Greg, a 40 year old divorcee who I’ve met in another coffee shop. He shows me pictures of his kids, while looking at my breasts.

Would they be willing to have their name on the birth certificate?

Aside from Carl, who wants me to be his girlfriend, the answer is pretty much no.

But can these natural-inseminators legally keep their names off the birth certificate, if the mother wants to include it?

Hicks says: ‘the birth certificate is a record of who the parents are, so if the man is proved to be the father, I don’t think there’s anything he can do.

‘Even if he said, “don’t put my name on it,” and they’d agreed on that, if he’s the father, that’s tough luck to him.’

Would they give me their sperm for artificial insemination, instead of us having sex?

‘I’m not open to AI – natural insemination is what I prefer,’ says a separated 55 year old whose ad invites prospective mothers to ‘run away to Spain to breed in the sun.’

‘Just looking for a sexual meet really, with the added result of helping someone get pregnant,’ clarifies a 29 year old from Herts who includes a dick pic in his Craigslist ad.

‘It would be more reliable if I insert it during sex,’ says the 41 year old, who suggests the following compromise: ‘How about we meet, and if we get on I put my seed in you, or if you choose, I go to the loo, wank in a syringe, and you can put it in you?’

‘I love the idea of helping a woman to be pregnant,’ says Greg. Great! Surely Greg will consider artificial insemination? Er, no. Why’s that then, Greg? ‘Because I love sex!’ So it’s not all about the babies? ‘Two birds, one stone!’

For any men considering fathering extra-marital babies via natural insemination, I’ll leave you with a word of warning from Hicks.

She says: ‘I’ve had male clients who, when they’ve been married, have gone off, had unprotected sex, and a child has been born. Their partner has then left them, and they find themselves having to deal not only with their divorce, but also a claim from the woman they had unprotected sex with.

‘That one moment of madness has potential ramifications for the rest of their lives.’

*Some names have been changed.

Fertility Month

This story is part of Fertility Month, a month-long series covering all aspects of fertility.

For the next four weeks, we will be speaking to people at all stages of the fertility journey as well as doctors, lawyers and fertility experts who can shed light on the most important issues.

If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, please do get in touch at fertilitystories@metro.co.uk.

Here is a selection of the stories from Fertility Month so far - and you can find all Fertility Month content here.

MORE: Fertility Month: Why we are talking about fertility this month

MORE: I found the perfect sperm donor - but I never got my happy ending

MORE: Plastic could be affecting your fertility – here’s how and why

MORE: How hard is it to get pregnant if you have polycystic ovary syndrome?

MORE: How to get super sperm like the Danish Vikings

MORE: What it's like to have an eating disorder while you're pregnant

MORE: Can you get over not having children when you really wanted to have children?

The best Boots Black Friday deals on perfume, electric toothbrushes, SodaStream and more

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Boots’ Black Friday is a big one! (Picture: Getty Images)

Boots are well and truly on the Black Friday bandwagon this year with a huge amount of offers flying around on a wide range of products.

It is an ideal time to do your Christmas shopping for family and friends with big discounts available on electrical goods, fragrances, beauty and a lot more.

thumbnail for post ID 8166471Tekashi69 insists he is 'not a gang member but portrays the image' as he faces life

Black Friday does not roll around until 23 November, but that has not stopped Boots churning out the offers, all of which are already available.

Whilst there are many, many more, we have picked out 10 of the best deals to get your hands on…

Oral-B GENIUS 9000 Rose Gold Electric Toothbrush Powered by Braun – Was £300, Now £89.99

(Picture: Boots)

SodaStream Genesis sparkling water maker – Was £100, Now £40

(Picture: Boots)

Panasonic Nanoe Hair Dryer EH-NA65CN Rose Gold – Was £109.99, Now £49.99

(Picture: Boots)

Paco Rabanne Lady Million For Women Eau de Parfum 50ml for Her – Was £62.50, Now £37.50

(Picture: Boots)

Juicy Couture Viva la Juicy Eau de Parfum 50ml – Was £50, Now £25

(Picture: Boots)

EMPORIO ARMANI He Eau de Toilette 50ml – Was £47, Now £23.50

(Picture: Boots)

No7 Complete Collection Brush Set – Was £60, Now £30

(Picture: Boots)

Estee Lauder Sculpted Lips Set – Was £60, Now £30

(Picture: Boots)

Botanics Ultimate Calm Bundle – Worth £40.45, Now £23

(Picture: Boots)

Waterpik Cordless Plus Water Flosser WP-450UK – Was £54.99, Now £36.66

(Picture: Boots)

MORE: When is Ryanair’s Cyber Week sale, and what deals can you expect?

MORE: The best John Lewis Black Friday deals already on offer in 2018

Morrisons is selling Toblerone, Nutella and Smarties mug cakes

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Caption: Morrisons Toblerone mug cake (Picture: Morrisons)

We love a mug cake – quick, tasty and the perfect way to statisfy that sugar craving.

And thanks to Morrisons, it might have become even easier to make one – and more delicious.

The supermarket is selling these Toblerone, Nutella and Smarties mug cake mixes, with mugs to cook it in, for £6.

(Picture: Morrisons)

Just add mix the cake mix, one egg, milk and vegetable oil with the filling, then put it in the microwave for two minutes and you have your mug cake.

Although it might be a little pricey with the mug attached, it does sound delicious.

If you fancy trying something a little cheaper, you can try these 50p mug cake mixes from Asda and add your own chocolate.

MORE: Black Friday 2018 opening times for Morrisons, Debenhams, Tesco, Currys and more

MORE: The best Morrisons Black Friday deals on alcohol including beer, Prosecco and gin

People are calling out McDonald’s Millionaire’s Latte for not looking quite like it does in the advert

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(Picture: @chloeellen)

Festive drinks are tricky to get right.

They should be simple – chuck a festive flavour and a load of sugar in a hot beverage, top it with a tiny gingerbread man or put it in a Christmassy cup, and you’re done.

And yet we’re often left with drinks that taste like heated up syrup, coffees that aren’t quite festive enough, and hot chocolates that don’t live up to the hype.

McDonald’s is one of the brands that’s fallen foul of the festive beverage trap.

One of the drinks on their Christmas menu is the Millionaire’s Latte, which they describe as ‘a large shot of delicious Arabica bean espresso, blended with a caramel biscuit flavour syrup and steamed organic milk from UK dairies. Topped with a swirl of chocolate cream and a caramel drizzle.’

Sounds nice, right?

But sadly, a lot of customers don’t think the reality of the drink quite matches up to the image in the McDonald’s advertising.

In the promotional material, the latte has a glorious peak of chocolate cream artfully drizzled with caramel sauce.

In reality… not so much.

Disappointed customers have taken to Twitter to share photos of their lattes, accusing the brand of ‘false advertising’ and asking them what they’re playing at.

There seem to be two common complaints: the first that there’s no cream on top when opening up the lid, and the second that the cream sticks to the lid and gets yanked off.

McDonald’s suggests that the cream is actually served with the drink, but it may have melted by the time you settle in and lift the lid.

‘As with any cream on top of a hot drink, if left for a period of time, our swirl of chocolate cream and a caramel drizzle will blend into the latte,’ a spokesperson told Metro.co.uk.

‘Most of our customers are loving it too much to leave it that long, but if it does melt then you’ll still get all of the great flavours, just combined with your drink instead of on top.’

MORE: Meet the Diet Coke ‘addicts’ who drink up to five litres a day and crack open a can first thing in the morning

MORE: McDonald’s is giving out free bags of carrots so you can feed the reindeer on Christmas Eve

MORE: Samsung Black Friday deals 2018 are here now and they are really good

Christmas party outfits: The best sparkly dresses for the festive season

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(Picture: Warehouse)

Party season means basically one thing – an excuse to wear sequins. At all times.

We want to look like the inside of a disco ball this Christmas. We want to dazzle passersby, nearly cause minor traffic incidents.

Luckily the high street understands our innate desire to sparkle until January. Take a look in any women’s clothing shop and you’ll be met with a twinkly array of shimmering dresses.

But it’s a bit overwhelming. And choosing the optimum level of sparkle takes skill and patience.

We’ve put together our festive favourites to help you turn heads at every party.

Topshop, silver foil mini dress £20

The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Topshop)
The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Topshop)

This shimmering, silver foil dress will feel special at any party. The smooth, scale-like sequins are bright enough to make a point, but subtle enough to not be OTT.

Team it with sky-high heels and faux fur black coat for added effect.

ASOS, Curve scatter sequin kimono £75

The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: ASOS)
The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: ASOS)

We love the ethereal shape of this dress. The drapey sleeves and soft blush colour are adorably girly and soft. Harden it up with tights, chunky boots and a leather jacket.

Warehouse, rainbow sequin high neck dress £69

The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Warehouse)
The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Warehouse)

Make a statement with this multi-coloured number. The high neck and long sleeves perfectly offset the uber-short hem line – and because it’s rainbow you can wear any lip colour you like.

Big silver hoops and slicked-back hair will look great with this.

Mango, side slit sequined gown £89.99

The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Mango)
The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Mango)

More rainbow sequins – but this time a longer length and a cheeky little thigh-split. The plunging neckline and cinched-in waist will look fantastic with a chunky belt. Or wear it alone and add a delicate long chain necklace in silver or gold.

Zara, sequined dress £39.99

The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Zara)
The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Zara)

Try a touch of androgyny this season with a tuxedo-jacket dress. This one is super-short and will look amazing with smoky eye make up and heeled leather boots.

Pretty Little Thing, gold strappy bodycon £27

The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Pretty Little Thing)
The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Pretty Little Thing)

Channel your inner mermaid in this sparkly gold mini. The square neckline promises to be really flattering, and a criss-cross sequin design that will definitely get you noticed.

Misguided, blush sequin wrap midi £55

The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Misguided)
The best sparkly dresses for party season Picture: METROGRAB source: http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/going-out-938/silver-foil-sequin-mini-dress-8098131 https://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-scatter-sequin-knot-front-kimono-midi-dress/prd/10381931?clr=dusty-pink&SearchQuery=&cid=14543&gridcolumn=4&gridrow=3&gridsize=4&pge=1&pgesize=72&totalstyles=419 https://www.warehouse.co.uk/gb/clothing/dresses/rainbow-sequin-high-neck-dress/033161.html?dwvar_033161_color=99&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29Cuzmu98uND6Vg6wLQsUvk8s1WR6QFJWsLmLmo2Pvn2VepE1rWbAe8aAigqEALw_wcB https://shop.mango.com/gb/women/dresses-midi/side-slit-sequined-gown_33059048.html?c=99&n=1&s=search https://www.zara.com/uk/en/sequinned-dress-p02878628.html?v1=7577038&v2=1074622 https://www.prettylittlething.com/gold-strappy-sequin-straight-neck-bodycon-dress.html https://www.missguided.co.uk/blush-sequin-fluted-wrap-midi-dress-10117543?gclid=Cj0KCQiAxNnfBRDwARIsAJlH29AekkeJ-OJOv-W3EeOg3sPNaVgnV-Seh9kH5OtPepJkX6HM7OU6ThMaApZfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
(Picture: Misguided)

The fluted sleeves make this rose-coloured dress a bit different. We also love the plunging neckline and oversized sequins.

With the blush tones, it will go perfectly with gold heels and earrings.

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The pick of the Halfords Black Friday deals and offers on bikes, tools, dash cams and more

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Embargoed to 0001 Wednesday November 13 File photo dated 14/01/13 of an exterior view of a Halfords store in north London as Halfords has been told to remove "misleading" pricing from its website after overstating savings on certain products.
There is all sorts on offer this week at Halfords (Picture: PA Images)

If you were planning on a trip to Halfords then this week might be the time to do it as the store is fully getting involved in the Black Friday spirit.

There are dozens of discounts on a wide range of products at the nationwide retailer, with bikes, tools and tech all on offer.

thumbnail for post ID 8166469Brexit deal gets the green light from EU negotiators

If a new bike was on the Christmas list of someone you know, then this is the chance to get a very decent one for a knockdown price.

While there are plenty more available on the Halfords site, here is a choice selection of the very best Black Friday deals on offer…

Carrera Hellcat Mens/Womens Mountain Bike – Was £425, Now £255

Carrera Hellcat Mens Mountain Bike - Black - 16", 18", 20" Frames
(Picture: Halfords)

Carrera Axle Mens Hybrid Bike – Was £300, Now £180

Carrera Axle Mens Hybrid Bike - Black - 16", 18", 20" Frames
(Picture: Halfords)

Voodoo Marasa Mens Hybrid Bike – Was £400, Now £320

Voodoo Marasa Mens Hybrid Bike - 18", 20" Frames
(Picture: Halfords)

X-Rated Shockwave Kids BMX Bike – Was £100, Now £30

X-Rated Shockwave Kids BMX Bike - 16" Wheel
(Picture: Halfords)

Nextbase 312GW Limited Edition Dash Cam Bundle – Was £149, Now £99

Nextbase 312GW Limited Edition Dash Cam Bundle
(Picture: Halfords)

Nuband I Touch Fitness Tracker – Was £50, Now £25

Nuband I Touch Fitness Tracker
(Picture: Halfords)

Halfords Advanced 200 Piece Socket and Ratchet Spanner Set – Limited Edition Black – Was £370, Now £135

Halfords Advanced 200 Piece Socket and Ratchet Spanner Set - Limited Edition Black
(Picture: Halfords)

Wired XL Hoverboard – £250, Now £149

Wired XL Hoverboard
(Picture: Halfords)

Bikehut 1600 Lumen Front Bike Light – Was £60, Now £35

Bikehut 1600 Lumen Front Bike Light
(Picture: Halfords)

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Getting Freaky: Can you really use a chocolate bar wrapper as a condom?

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Could you really use a chocolate bar wrapper as a condom?
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Each week in Getting Freaky we dissect a sexual urban legend to see if it’s A. true, and B. advisable to give it a go when you’re getting down to it.

So far, these have been stories we’ve heard in our youth, while spin-drinking two litre bottles of cider and willing your McKenzie hoody to keep you warmer than it was ever designed to do.

This one, however, comes from the internet and the enduringly popular daytime show Jeremy Kyle.

I spend a lot of time on ‘answers’ forums, checking to see if people have found the solution to life’s big questions (such as ‘how is babby formed’) – and the topic of confectionery condoms comes up surprisingly regularly.

Then, during one of my JK binges (yes, they happen, no, I’m not ashamed) I saw this:

A man describes how his ex girlfriend slept with a man behind his back and, in lieu of a condom, popped a Toffee Crisp wrapper on his penis and went to town.

It seems like it’s my time to shine with some sage advice.

You should all know this is very, very wrong on a lot of levels. But, if my previous research online is anything to go by, you don’t.

To save any of you horny lot from resorting to a forum or Twitter poll next time you’re thinking of trying out a chocolate bar wrapper, please just read this list of reasons not to instead.

Pregnancy

Condoms – when used correctly – are around 98% effective. This is not scientific, but chocolate bar wrapper are probably around the 0% marker.

For one, they break easily.

Whereas condoms are tested using a number of stringent methods to ensure they’re unlikely to break, chocolate bar wrappers are specificially designed to break so you can get to the goodness inside.

Dr. Tami Prince, a gynecologist at the Women’s Health and Wellness Center in Georgia told WeHaveKids: ‘Even the slightest opening in the condom that is invisible to the naked eye can allow for sperm to enter the vagina and migrate towards the Fallopian tubes where fertilization occurs. If a woman happens to be ovulating at the time, the risk of pregnancy is increased.’

So, if you’re using a thin not-for-purpose plastic package as a condom, that risk is way higher.

On that same note, condoms are made to fit tightly around the base of the penis (stopping them from slipping clean off) and are created with materials that adhere tightly to the shaft throughout intercourse.

There is no way to replicate this with any sweet wrapper available at present – and don’t even try using a rubber band or any sort of dicing-with-death DIY addition.

Unless you want a wee Milkybar Kid in your life, don’t bother.

STIs

The history of contraception in Ohio features Violet Crumble and Crunchie bar packaging used by a 12-year-old Australian boy as a condom substitute. A news report from the time stated that it was a common trend among teens in the country.

There isn’t a whole load of research on STIs in the country at that time, but we do know that Donovanosis cases peaked around this time, and chlamydia, gonorrhoea, and syphilis cases were high in rural areas where there was a lack of sexual health support available.

Of course we can’t say that there’s causation between chocolate bars as condoms, but there is a common-sense link between young people without the appropriate knowledge (and condoms) to protect themselves, and higher rates of infection.

STIs are transmitted through contact with infected bodily fluids or mucous membranes and – as we mentioned – chocolate wrappers are prone to breakage, leaving you open to whatever your partner may have picked up.

Thrush

Chocolate shouldn’t be put near your genitals.

In our previous (and highly informative) piece on what not to use as lube, Megan Barnett from JoDivine.com told us:

‘Sugary foods could cause thrush, and food substances will not likely be absorbed by the body so could linger unless cleaned.’

Plus, she says, ‘Douching the vagina can be harmful as it disrupts the vaginal flora and could lead to infections.’

Even if you don’t get thrush or some other sort of yeast infection from the chocolate residue, it won’t feel great knowing it’s lurking and will have to make its own way out.

Pain

Little task for you all. Go to your local convenience store and take a long, hard look at the confectionery on offer (try to avoid the stares from the person behind the counter).

The packaging is made of foil – not known for its comfort.

It also features serrated edges on each end for easy opening.

It’s also made to fit something which never moves of its own accord, and comes in a uniform shape and size.

Do any of these points seem like they’d be in any way comfortable on your penis or inside you?

Anyone with a vagina who’s been digitally penetrated knows that a slight hangnail can cause massive discomfort, so a metal wrapper is going to be agony.

I know that nobody would use a sweetie wrapper unless it was out of necessity. However, nobody needs to have sex that much.

If you don’t have a condom, have no other form of birth control, and haven’t both been tested since your last partners, then just hold off until those conditions are met. We already know blue balls aren’t real.

Money should also be no barrier to your barrier methods, as clinics and GPs across the UK give out free condoms. Find your nearest spot here.

If you’re mature enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to take control of your sexual health; and that means doing more than putting literal trash inside yourself or your partner.

MORE: Meet the men offering their sperm to strangers online – but only if they can do ‘natural insemination’

MORE: Self-driving cars will ‘lead to more car sex’ – what are the rules around car sex?

Taco Bell is coming to London this Friday

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)Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)

Taco Bell is coming to London this Friday.

The Mexican fast-food chain has opened 27 stores across the UK but until now, London has missed out.

Back in the nineties they had two central London outlets but their new Hammersmith branch will be the first in the capital since stores in Earl’s Court and Leicester Square closed 20 years ago.

Already popular in the US, Taco Bell is known for their great offers and the UK is no different – they’ll offer a single taco and a beer for £2 on a Tuesday.

The new branch is set to open this Friday at 10.30am. Tacos or a famous crunchwrap for breakfast, anyone?

More London Taco Bell stores will also open coming months – a store on Southampton Row, Holburn will open on Friday, November 30,  and stores in Fulham Broadway and Croydon will open in early 2019

MORE: Getting Freaky: Can you really use a chocolate bar wrapper as a condom?

MORE: Christmas party outfits: The best sparkly dresses for the festive season

MORE: People are calling out McDonald’s Millionaire’s Latte for not looking quite like it does in the advert

Topshop Black Friday deals start with up to 50% off everything

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(Picture: Topshop)

With Christmas party season approaching, Black Friday is the perfect time to pick up a few new outfits.

And Topshop have some great deals so you can afford something new for every event.

As of yesterday, they have up to 50% off everything online.

Topshop Black Friday picture: Topshop METROGRAB
(Picture: Topshop)

The offer will run until midnight tomorrow.

From Saturday until midnight on Monday, there will be 50% off selected items.

MORE: The pick of the Halfords Black Friday deals and offers on bikes, tools, dash cams and more

MORE: There’s a Black Friday deal which will let you get Netflix free for six months

MORE: Christmas party outfits: The best sparkly dresses for the festive season

DECIEM Black Friday sale 2018 includes over 60% off The Ordinary

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(Picture: DECIEM)

Black Friday may have arrived a day early. But we’re not complaining, as DECIEM, parent company of skincare brand The Ordinary, have just launched their Black Friday sale.

Sure, we’ve already been inundated with deals and discounts codes from our favourite online retailers and beauty brands. But if you’re a skincare addict, DECIEM’s Black Friday deals are not to be missed.

This year their sale includes up to 60% off award-winning products from NIOD, The Chemistry Brand and sell-out brand The Ordinary.

So there’s never been a better time to stock-up and shop your favourites.

 

The Ordinary Granactive Retinoid 2% Emulsion, was £8 now £3

(Picture: The Ordinary)

 

The Ordinary High-Spreadability Fluid Primer, was £5.50 now £2

(Picture: The Ordinary)

 

The Ordinary Lactic Acid 10% + HA, was £5.80 now £2

(Picture: The Ordinary)

The Ordinary Buffet, was £12.70 now £5

(Picture: The Ordinary)

MORE: There’s a Black Friday deal which will let you get Netflix free for six months

MORE: The best game deals in the Steam Black Friday sale

Lidl Black Friday deals see discounts on Prosecco, steak, televisions and more in store

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Even more bargains than usual at Lidl this week (Picture: Getty Images)

Lidl provide some pretty great bargains on a regular basis, but that has not stopped them offering up some more deals for Black Friday this week.

The budget supermarket has gone traditional so you will actually have to go down to a Lidl outlet on Black Friday to get the deals – no shopping online, and no offers days in advance.

thumbnail for post ID 8167283Dani Dyer is a big fan of Emily Atack's 'spot-on' impression of her on I'm a Celebrity

That means that when the stock runs out in your local Lidl the offer is effectively over, so you better get down there early (find your local Lidl store here).

It is not just food and drink that Lidl have on offer, but tech, homeware and more – here are some of the best deals to get your hands on this 23 November.

Toshiba 43” Full HD Smart LED TV – Lidl Black Friday offer: £199 (RRP £349)

(Picture: Lidl)

Nutribullet 600 Series Starter Kit – Lidl Black Friday offer: £39.99 (RRP £59.99)

(Picture: Lidl)

Magnum of Prosecco – Lidl Black Friday offer: £10.99

(Picture: Lidl)

The Deluxe Dry Aged British Beef Tomahawk Steak, £14.99 per kg

(Picture: Lidl)

10-Portion Family Grill by George Foreman – Lidl Black Friday offer: £29.99 (RRP £109.99)

(Picture: Lidl)

Vax Cordless Slimvac – Lidl Black Friday offer: £79.99 (RRP £149.99)

(Picture: Lidl)
(Picture: Lidl)

6l Digital Slow Cooker – Lidl Black Friday offer: £24.99 (RRP £59.99)

(Picture: Lidl)

 

Arnie the armadillo can’t stop taking baths

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(Picture: Second Chances Wildlife / SWNS)

Arnie the adorable baby armadillo absolutely loves taking baths.

One-year-old Arnie can’t help getting in the tub, and waits in it for his owner Brigette Brouillard to turn on the tap and even tries to get in the shower with her.

The nine-banded armadillo was rescued by Second Chances Wildlife Center in June 2017 after being found abandoned and emaciated in western Kentucky, US.

He can never be released back into the wild because he suffers from a blood-clotting disorder which means he requires constant care.

Instead, he lives with animal lover Brigette and spends his days eating insects, making a nuisance of himself and nipping at his owner’s ankles.

Arnie the nine-banded armadillo has a lie down. See SWNS story SWNYarnie; Meet Arnie - the adorable baby armadillo that is addicted to taking BATHS. Arnie, one, waits in the tub for his owner Brigette Brouillard to turn on the tap and even tries to get in the shower with her. The nine-banded armadillo was rescued by Second Chances Wildlife Center in June 2017 after being found abandoned and emaciated in western Kentucky, US. He can never be released because he suffers from a blood-clotting disorder which means he needs requires constant care. Instead, he lives with animal lover Brigette and spends his days eating insects, making a nuisance of himself and nipping at his owner's ankles. The clever creature, who answers to his name, has learned how to open cabinet doors, regularly rifles through the trash and raids boxes of belts and shoes to play with. Above all, aqua-loving Arnie adores taking baths and even tries to climb in the tub when Brigette is taking a shower. One hilarious video shows him trying to turn the faucet by himself, and in another he is seen splashing gleefully in the water. Brigette, 46, who runs Second Chances in Louisville, Kentucky, US, said: "He is hilarious and he's very smart. A lot of people wouldn't think armadillos are very smart.
(Picture: Second Chances Wildlife / SWNS)

Arnie, who answers to his name, has learned how to open cabinet doors, regularly rifles through the rubbish and raids boxes of belts and shoes to play with.

Above all, Arnie adores taking baths and even tries to climb in the tub when Brigette is taking a shower.

One hilarious video shows him trying to turn the faucet by himself, and in another he is seen splashing gleefully in the water.

Brigette, 46, who runs Second Chances in Louisville, Kentucky, US, said: ‘He is hilarious and he’s very smart. A lot of people wouldn’t think armadillos are very smart.

‘He has learned to open cabinet doors and if he doesn’t get it the first time, he’ll get it the second or third.

‘He definitely loves me and will let me hold him, but he will attack my feet in a temper tantrum and draw blood.

Arnie the nine-banded armadillo with his owner Brigette Broulliard,46. See SWNS story SWNYarnie; Meet Arnie - the adorable baby armadillo that is addicted to taking BATHS. Arnie, one, waits in the tub for his owner Brigette Brouillard to turn on the tap and even tries to get in the shower with her. The nine-banded armadillo was rescued by Second Chances Wildlife Center in June 2017 after being found abandoned and emaciated in western Kentucky, US. He can never be released because he suffers from a blood-clotting disorder which means he needs requires constant care. Instead, he lives with animal lover Brigette and spends his days eating insects, making a nuisance of himself and nipping at his owner's ankles. The clever creature, who answers to his name, has learned how to open cabinet doors, regularly rifles through the trash and raids boxes of belts and shoes to play with. Above all, aqua-loving Arnie adores taking baths and even tries to climb in the tub when Brigette is taking a shower. One hilarious video shows him trying to turn the faucet by himself, and in another he is seen splashing gleefully in the water. Brigette, 46, who runs Second Chances in Louisville, Kentucky, US, said: "He is hilarious and he's very smart. A lot of people wouldn't think armadillos are very smart.
(Picture: Second Chances Wildlife / SWNS)

‘He loves to swim in the tub but if I get him out before he is ready he won’t be happy.

‘He often jumps in the tub hoping there will be water in there.

‘He knows the water comes from the faucet so will stick his nose in there.

‘Their stomachs are quite oily so he cleans his stomach off and does rolls. He looks like an alligator.

‘In the wild they would find muddy puddles and do the same thing.

‘It never gets old. I absolutely love watching him.

Arnie the nine-banded armadillo playing with his toys. See SWNS story SWNYarnie; Meet Arnie - the adorable baby armadillo that is addicted to taking BATHS. Arnie, one, waits in the tub for his owner Brigette Brouillard to turn on the tap and even tries to get in the shower with her. The nine-banded armadillo was rescued by Second Chances Wildlife Center in June 2017 after being found abandoned and emaciated in western Kentucky, US. He can never be released because he suffers from a blood-clotting disorder which means he needs requires constant care. Instead, he lives with animal lover Brigette and spends his days eating insects, making a nuisance of himself and nipping at his owner's ankles. The clever creature, who answers to his name, has learned how to open cabinet doors, regularly rifles through the trash and raids boxes of belts and shoes to play with. Above all, aqua-loving Arnie adores taking baths and even tries to climb in the tub when Brigette is taking a shower. One hilarious video shows him trying to turn the faucet by himself, and in another he is seen splashing gleefully in the water. Brigette, 46, who runs Second Chances in Louisville, Kentucky, US, said: "He is hilarious and he's very smart. A lot of people wouldn't think armadillos are very smart.
(Picture: Second Chances Wildlife / SWNS)

‘He even tries to get in the shower with me if I leave the bathroom door open. He will rustle around the shower curtain.’

Arnie was only a few weeks old and weighed less than 1lb when he and his three siblings were rescued by Second Chances.

Without care, Brigette believes the babies would have died.

They were all fed formula, vitamins and soft food, but while Arnie’s siblings quickly gained strength and could be released into the wild, Arnie struggled to put on weight.

At one point, he fell into a coma and turned freezing cold, forcing Brigette to perform CPR to revive him.

‘I saw that his chest wasn’t rising or falling and thought, “Oh my gosh, you are not checking out on me,” she said.

‘I turned him on his side and did heart compressions and my mouth went over his nose and mouth.

‘I couldn’t let him go.’

Arnie the nine-banded armadillo as a baby, shortly after he was rescued in 2017. See SWNS story SWNYarnie; Meet Arnie - the adorable baby armadillo that is addicted to taking BATHS. Arnie, one, waits in the tub for his owner Brigette Brouillard to turn on the tap and even tries to get in the shower with her. The nine-banded armadillo was rescued by Second Chances Wildlife Center in June 2017 after being found abandoned and emaciated in western Kentucky, US. He can never be released because he suffers from a blood-clotting disorder which means he needs requires constant care. Instead, he lives with animal lover Brigette and spends his days eating insects, making a nuisance of himself and nipping at his owner's ankles. The clever creature, who answers to his name, has learned how to open cabinet doors, regularly rifles through the trash and raids boxes of belts and shoes to play with. Above all, aqua-loving Arnie adores taking baths and even tries to climb in the tub when Brigette is taking a shower. One hilarious video shows him trying to turn the faucet by himself, and in another he is seen splashing gleefully in the water. Brigette, 46, who runs Second Chances in Louisville, Kentucky, US, said: "He is hilarious and he's very smart. A lot of people wouldn't think armadillos are very smart.
(Picture: Second Chances Wildlife / SWNS)

The CPR worked and that night, in August 2017, Brigette slept with Arnie on the sofa so that he could absorb some of her body heat.

He gradually gained strength thanks to a diet of supplements, an incubator to keep him warm and round-the-clock care from Brigette and is now ‘very very healthy’.

The armadillo – who has racked up medical bills of around $1,500 – goes home with Brigette at night so she can keep an eye on him and sleeps in a pillow case.

Brigette, who founded Second Chances in 2010, says Arnie loves to play and will occasionally come to her for a cuddle.

But he also has a feisty side, and Brigette warns that armadillos shouldn’t normally be kept as pets.

Brigette added: ‘In the wild they are solitary animals so he’s just adapting to his life in captivity.

‘Because he isn’t healthy enough he is considered an education ambassador and goes to schools and libraries.

‘We rehabilitate hundreds of animals each year, but Arnie is our first armadillo.’

MORE: Is banning palm oil the right choice?

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Cadbury launches a free Secret Santa Postal Service

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(Picture: Cadbury)

Cadbury has launched a free Secret Santa Postal Service across ten towns nationwide.

The entirely free service will provide customers with the opportunity to send Cadbury chocolate gifts to other people anonymously.

The Cadbury Postal Service will be popping up in ten locations across the UK – starting in the Isle of White – ending in
Edinburgh on 17 December, stopping in various cities and towns along the way.

(Picture: Cadbury)

Visitors will also have the chance to enjoy the some Cadbury Dairy Milk whilst they await their Secret Santa status.

There are loads of gifts you can choose to send, and they can be posted anywhere in the UK.

This includes Cadbury Dairy Milk, Dairy Milk Whole Nut, Dairy Milk Caramel, Dairy Milk Fruit and Nut, and the Cadbury Dairy Milk Winter Edition.

(Picture: Cadbury)

The Cadbury Secret Santa Postal Service follows the launch of Cadbury’s magical new Christmas campaign, which celebrates the thoughtful and generous ritual of Secret Santa – as seen in its new TV advert which urges families across the UK to follow their generous instinct and become a Secret Santa this Christmas.

Available on a first come, first-served basis, you don’t need to book to get involved.

For those unable to make it to one of the popups, head online to see other ways you can get involved.

MORE: The ethical guide to Christmas trees

MORE: Is banning palm oil the right choice?


Stigma and shame: Struggling with fertility as a black woman

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(Picture: Vanessa Hayes/Metro.co.uk)

Fertility problems are hard to talk about. There is still an enormous amount of societal stigma and taboo when it comes to struggling to conceive.

This is even more true in certain black communities, particularly some Christian and traditional African families.

It just isn’t spoken about. And if it is, there is often the assumption that the problem is the fault of the woman. Outdated and accusatory comments can lead to serious feelings of shame.

Entreprenuer and infertility blogger Vanessa Haye, felt this keenly when she struggled to conceive. The lack of support and understanding was a struggle – and now she wants to normalise conversations around fertility and reproductive health in her own communities.

Vanessa has been on quite a journey.

(Vanessa Hayes/Metro.co.uk)

‘I actually only found out that I couldn’t conceive by chance,’ Vanessa tells Metro.co.uk.

‘I came off the pill because it just didn’t work for my body, and I obviously you know what the risk is – coming off the pill, not using anything, it’s likely that I could get pregnant.

‘Six months down the line, being newlywed you would think things would happen, nothing happened. I also wasn’t having periods, which I found really strange, because I hadn’t been on the pill for long.’

What followed was an arduous three years of tests, procedures and difficult decisions.

At just 28, Vanessa was relatively young to be experiencing fertility difficulties, but she knew children was something she wanted for her future, so she decided to be proactive.

‘As much as I wasn’t quite ready to have kids, I knew that because it was the NHS, the only way I could get this further looked into and investigated was by expressing that I do want kids.

‘So I said, “yes, I’m trying for children,” because I knew that was the only way to get them to take it seriously. I didn’t want to wait until I was ready to start dealing with it – because who knows how long that would take?’

And it would take a long time. Months of trialing different medications, trying to force her body to have a period, a round of IVF and, sadly, miscarriages.

It’s a stressful and emotional time for any young couple, but Vanessa says she and her husband really suffered because of a chronic lack of understanding in her communities.

‘Being a black woman from an African Caribbean household, as well as being a Christian – it brought a whole range of issues for me,’ explains Vanessa.

‘There is a stigma when it comes to the cultural aspect, and more of a naivety from the religious aspect. With Christians, I think they are sometimes stuck on the concept of God’s will. That if you can’t conceive, you should wait for God to grant it to you.

‘Within my personal Christian belief, I always knew deep down inside that God would answer my prayers, but more importantly it helped me to also appreciate that we are blessed to have the NHS practitioners who work so hard to help couples conceive.

‘I also had some stick from some people who didn’t believe in IVF, they saw it as “playing God”, an unnatural thing. And, in all honesty, I used to have the same opinion. I used to think of it a celebrity fad – something rich people would use to try and get twins. I’m a twin, so I never liked that.

‘But using IVF isn’t “playing God”, not at all. I’ve learned the hard way that nothing is a given. Your chances of conception are 30% per cycle, for under 35s. And it’s even less if you’re older. So that upset me when people thought it was an easy option – that it was me choosing God’s decisions – that’s not how it works at all.

Vanessa had to inject herself every day as part of her IVF cycle (Picture: Vanessa Hayes/Metro.co.uk)

‘Because infertility is not freely spoken about in African-Caribbean communities, there is just this expectation that as a couple or woman, you won’t have troubles conceiving and so if it takes longer than expected, they associate the delay with the wrong diet or stress.’

But it was nothing that Vanessa had done that had caused her problem. In fact, the doctors really weren’t sure what it was.

‘At the clinic I went through all the tests. They were all fine. No indications of a tilted uterus, no problems with my tubes – there was nothing wrong physically. Which lead to a diagnosis of “unexplained infertility” – It was really bittersweet.

‘In some respects, it’s good to hear that there’s nothing physically wrong, but then you almost want there to be something wrong so you know what you need to make right.’

When Vanessa and her husband decided they were ready for children, they knew there were some options available to them – but they also knew that the odds weren’t great.

‘When it comes to fertility it’s a postcode lottery on the NHS. In Leicester, you get three goes at an IUI [intrauterine insemination] and then only one go for a fresh cycle of IVF – this is where you go through the stimulation of your ovaries to get new eggs.

‘I basically had to choose between completing two more rounds of the IUI, or going straight for the IVF – keeping in mind that I only had one go at this, and if it didn’t work I couldn’t then go back for more rounds of the IUI.

‘It was a hard decision, but I decided to go straight for the IVF.

‘There are so many things that can go wrong with IVF at so many stages. There are so many points at which it could fail.

‘But I had to take that chance – and the first cycle actually went really well. I was ovulating well, they collected 17 eggs – 10 were mature, and 10 fertilsed, of which six became viable for me to use.

‘The whole thing can take up to six weeks. They had to put my body in temporary menopause, to shut down my system – because the doctors want to be able to control your cycle. Then you have the egg collection and finally they get the viable eggs ready for transfer.

‘Often they will put two eggs in to give you a better chance but because I was young, they didn’t want to put more than one in – in case I ended up with triplets (although at that point, that sounded really appealing to me!)

Vanessa after her first egg collection (Picture: Vanessa Hayes/Metro.co.uk)

‘So they put in one egg. And you have to wait for two weeks, and then you can take a test at the clinic. It turns out that test was negative.

‘But I asked them to do a blood test anyway. About three hours later they called me and asked, “have you been bleeding?” – which I had, and I thought it was my period, proving that the IVF definitely hadn’t worked.

‘But they said the blood test was showing that I was pregnant. In the next breath they said that my levels were really low and that I was probably going to lose the baby.

‘So much to process. I had gone through the whole IVF cycle, to be told I wasn’t pregnant, then to be told that I was pregnant, but that I was losing the baby – all in the space of around three hours.’

After losing her baby Vanessa was distraught – to go from knowing she was pregnant to knowing the baby was lost, in such a short space of time, was a huge blow.

But she was able to take comfort in the fact that she knew she would get another shot.

‘The good thing was that I had more viable embryos from my first cycle that I could use. I let my body have a rest, and tried again after a couple of months.

‘It ended up taking another 10 months before I had a period and could try again. It kept feeling like I was going three steps forward and 10 steps back.

‘The second time they did a double embryo transfer, because I had lost my first baby. The two-week wait before testing is the most intense wait of you cycle. Because all you want to do is test and see if it has worked – and you just can’t.

‘During that time I actually started bleeding, and I just thought – is it over again? But I just had a feeling that it had worked.

‘It got to the test day – and I just did it at home, I didn’t want to be in the clinic.

‘I tested, and it had two lines – they showed up literally within three seconds. I went to bed holding that test in my hand.

‘You know when you have a dream that feels really real – that’ what it felt like.

‘So I had to physically hold the test to remind myself that this was real life. I didn’t want to wake up and find it wasn’t real. I woke up every half an hour to check it.’

Vanessa’s precious positive pregnancy test (Picture: Vanessa Hayes/Metro.co.uk)

‘This was 3.5 years down the line of tests and procedures and heartbreak, so it was surreal. The next day I went to the clinic and the doctors said that I was very pregnant – and my levels suggested that it was likely twins.

‘But I started bleeding a day or two after the third test. And they told me that I was losing one of them. They said I can’t do anything about it, I just had to put my feet up and rest until the six-week check.’

The wait was tortuous for Vanessa. Having nothing to do but sit there and hope, she felt utterly helpless.

‘It was stressful. I wanted to just cross my legs. Every time I went to the toilet I was bleeding more and more, and I was so scared I was losing both of them.

‘It felt like a double whammy – not only could I not conceive, but maybe I couldn’t keep a baby as well.

‘At the six-week test they saw one little heartbeat. So I had lost one of them. But I had one of them. And he was living inside me. And I’m so grateful for Sebastian, my beautiful son.’

Vanessa with her baby boy, Sebastian (Picture: Vanessa Hayes: Metro.co.uk)

At just 31, Vanessa isn’t sure if she’s finished with having babies. The IVF is tough to endure, but the stats show that it can be easier a second time around.

But that’s not Vanessa’s only concern.

‘Now we’re just thinking about what the future holds for us,’ she tells us.

‘When you have IVF, they consider you pregnant from the moment of the transfer. So for me, if I decided to only have one child – it would feel weird and wrong to discard my other viable embryos.

‘It didn’t seem right for me to have my child somewhere else in the world, so I didn’t want to donate. But if we were to conceive naturally – and there’s no reason why that couldn’t happen – what happens to the other embryos?

‘I call them my fro-babies – and they’re just waiting in the freezer currently. So we are definitely still on a journey.’

Fertility Month

This story is part of Fertility Month, a month-long series covering all aspects of fertility.

For the next four weeks, we will be speaking to people at all stages of the fertility journey as well as doctors, lawyers and fertility experts who can shed light on the most important issues.

If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, please do get in touch at fertilitystories@metro.co.uk.

Here is a selection of the stories from Fertility Month so far - and you can find all Fertility Month content here.

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MORE: Plastic could be affecting your fertility – here’s how and why

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MORE: How to get super sperm like the Danish Vikings

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Why we say sorry so much and how to stop it

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How to stop saying sorry Metro illustrations Ella Byworth
(Picture: Ella Byworth)

Many of us find ourselves being told off for saying sorry so much. And then apologising again for saying sorry.

It’s a vicious, embarrassing cycle of sorry-ness.

Jessica Boston, a hypnotherapist and healer at Glow Bar Mortimer Street says the British are a nation of ‘over apologisers’ and that it’s become part of our cultural identity.

She adds that women tend to apologise more than men because they are unconsciously conditioned to feel more societal pressures to be nice and polite.

There are different reasons for apologising.

Apologising can become ‘contagious’ and then it turns into a habit.

Jessica adds that over-apologisers tend to have a low sense of self-worth and higher levels of anxiety, and cannot handle any form of perceived tension because they don’t know how to deal with the emotions of others in a constructive way.

‘They fear what will happen if they don’t apologise quickly,’ adds Jessica.

‘If they have a low sense of self-worth they don’t think their own more honest response will be valid.’

Of course, many of us just say sorry because we’re trying to be polite. But it’s sometimes not necessary.

So, why shouldn’t people constantly say sorry?

Jessica tells us: ‘Like anything the more you do it the more it becomes ingrained, so if you don’t like this part of yourself something has to change.

‘If you say sorry all the time people around you perceive you as more insecure and will unconsciously treat you as such. You may be given fewer responsibilities or opportunities because you appear to lack confidence.

‘How you are in the world becomes who you are, if you act like you are a constant bother or nuisance you will become one to others.

‘Saying sorry for everything makes it become meaningless and removes any power from it for when it’s actually time to acknowledge you’ve done something wrong.

‘Plus if you are always apologising it seems like you are always getting things wrong, which over time can make you seem unreliable or incompetent.’

So, basically we need to stop saying sorry so much when we shouldn’t actually be saying sorry. Like when someone walks into you – they should be saying sorry, not you.

now that summer is over, it's harder to harness that spring
(Picture: Ella Byworth)

Jessica says the best way to stop saying sorry is to start understanding it. To be mindful and pay attention to how, when and why saying sorry is important.

She said: ‘Correcting any behaviour starts with understanding it. It will set you a free. Becoming mindful of how and when and why you say sorry is important.

‘If it doesn’t feel linked to personal responsibility and growth it’s time to acknowledge where this desire to say sorry all the time comes from.

‘What triggers it? What situations cause you to over apologise? Is it in the workplace? Your relationship? A certain friend?

‘Why do you think you are doing this? what does it remind you of in your past? When you start to become more aware of when you might say it catch yourself out. Ask yourself, is this really something I need to say sorry for? Then do or don’t.’

Lots of us say sorry just to avoid uncomfortable silence. But instead of avoiding it, sit with the discomfort and learn that over time it will be okay. Pay attention to the consequences – or lack thereof – of not saying ‘sorry’.

The more you train yourself to do this, the less you’ll find yourself saying it.

Jessica adds: ‘Become comfortable with the power of saying no to things you don’t want to do. And instead of apologising communicate how you really feel succinctly and with honesty.

‘If it’s genuinely something that needs to be worked on because you’ve dropped the ball follows it up with actions instead of words.

‘When should you actually apologise? When you’ve done something you want to apologise for and when you genuinely mean it.

‘Don’t throw words about willy nilly, words have great power. Make yours meaningful.’

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Drunk man buys giant Snorlax and then discovers it costs £780 to deliver

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(Picture: Callum Underwood)

We’ve all been there – you’ve had a few drinks and some internet shopping seems like a good idea.

But when you’re a little intoxicated, being sensible goes out the window.

This might be the best drunk purchase ever though – a giant 6ft Snorlax, a Pokemon character.

It’s not the first time these stuffed toys have caused trouble either – earlier this year, a man wanted to buy three plushies for his wife but accidentally ordered the giant ones.

This time, however, Callum Underwood was well aware of the size of the toys when his friend sent him a link.

Callum, from Newcastle, was out in the US on a business trip and had had a few drinks, so he decided to pay £200 to order one.

But the next day, he found out it would cost $1000 dollars (£780).

He got it shipped to his boss but when it arrived and they saw just how big it was, they realised it was going to be costly to send in the post.

Instead, he decided to bring the toy back with him as he travelled home on four separate flights – from San Francisco to Atlana, via Dallas, then Atlanta to London and then London to Newcastle.

He stuffed the Snorlax into a box to try to make it as small as possible and posted pictures of his journey on Twitter.

Luckily, Snorlax and Callum made it home safely to Newcastle and he seems to be settling in well.

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Hugo Boss launches range with reversed logos – perfect for mirror selfies

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(Picture: Hugo Boss)

So here’s the dilemma.

You’ve got some new designer stash that you want to show off on the ‘gram, but when you take that mirror selfie, the all-important branding is backwards.

Not ideal. You can’t impress your followers if they can’t even read what label you’re wearing.

Hugo Boss have launched a special collection to tackle exactly this problem.

It is a range of simplistic, mostly monochrome pieces – all sporting backwards Hugo logos. Made specifically for the Instagram generation. That’s us.

(Picture: Hugo Boss)

The range – featuring items for both men and women – includes t-shirts, sweatshirts, belt bags, hats and leggings. Most in the signature black or white, but with the occasional splash of colour.

Fans of the HUGO reversed capsule will be able to customise a limited edition collection of t-shirts and sweaters printed with their name – or any word they like – at an special four day pop-up event in London.

You’ll get the chance to create your own personalised unisex t-shirt or sweater at Westfield in White City – but it’s only happening this weekend. So you’ll have to head down between 22nd – 25th November.

(Picture: Hugo Boss)

Whether you want to see your name emblazoned across your chest, or any word that you like – the choices are endless.

You could even safely choose a rude word, because people would need to see you in a mirror in order to be offended. So you can let your filthy mind run free.

Hugo want to see your mirror selfies, so anyone who buys an item will be encouraged to use #iamHUGO when they take a snap.

T-shirts are available for £45 and sweaters are £89, and they come in black, grey or dark blue.

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How do STIs affect your fertility?

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(Picture: Getty)

There are a number of things that can affect your fertility, from stress to plastic.

When trying for a baby, however, it’s unlikely that you’ll be worried about the time you had chlamydia a decade ago.

Although people talk about how infertility is a consequence of some sexually transmitted infections, this is normally in the context of long-term undiagnosed ones.

That is mostly true, but is not always the case, and there can be fertility complications for anyone who’s had an STI.

It’s thought that around half of cases of tubal infertility are caused in some way or another by chlamydia.

In women, it doesn’t tend to be the infection itself, but Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID).

This is a disease that affects your womb, ovaries, and fallopian tubes.

It can cause scarring on these areas, making it difficult for the egg to be fertilised, or causing an ectopic pregnancy in some cases.

It’s predominantly found in people who’ve had chlamydia or gonorrhoea at some point, as well as those with IUDs or who’ve had recent pregnancy terminations.

According to the NHS, around one in 10 women with PID become infertile as a result of the condition.

Between 10% and 30% of women with genital chlamydia infections develop PID.

The more times you’ve have PID, the more likely it is to affect your fertility, and having it once makes it more likely you will get it again.

Symptoms of PID include:

  • unusual or smelly discharge from your vagina
  • bleeding in between your periods, or after you have sex
  • lower abdomen pain or pain in the upper right side of your abdomen
  • discomfort or pain duringl sex
  • a temperature over 38°C
  • feeling sick or being sick

You may experience some or none of these symptoms, so if you think you may have PID you’ll need to go for tests at your GP.

(Picture: Getty)

The diagnosis may involve blood tests, urine tests, an ultrasound, or a laparoscopy.

From there, you’ll be able to continue on your fertility journey.

For men, there can be complications due to past and present STIs, mostly concerned with sperm health and damage to the urethra.

One study found that sperm production could be affected by the herpes simplex virus, and there is evidence that HIV can also contribute to a low sperm count.

The main way you can protect yourself from STIs is using condoms with any new partners until both of you have been checked and the results are clear.

Getting testing regularly should also help ensure that if you do contract an infection, it doesn’t progress into tubal damage or severe inflammation.

Treatment for common STIs is usually as simple as some oral antibiotics and perhaps an injection, coupled with abstaining from sex for a short while.

Remember, chlamydia and gonorrhoea can be symptomless in plenty of cases, so get tested regardless of whether you notice any changes.

It’s not clear-cut whether your fertility will be affected by a sexually transmitted infection. In fact, the vast majority of people who have had one will have no problems conceiving.

You should still take precautions to avoid them, though, both for your fertility and for the health of you and your partners.

If you’re worried about your fertility, or showing symptoms for any of the conditions spoken about in this article, chat to your GP who will be able to advise on your situation.

Fertility Month

This story is part of Fertility Month, a month-long series covering all aspects of fertility.

For the next four weeks, we will be speaking to people at all stages of the fertility journey as well as doctors, lawyers and fertility experts who can shed light on the most important issues.

If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, please do get in touch at fertilitystories@metro.co.uk.

Here is a selection of the stories from Fertility Month so far - and you can find all Fertility Month content here.

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