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Modern Etiquette: How do I leave my shared house without making everyone hate me?

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Modern etiquette Mmuffin for Metro.co.uk room bed cupboard shared home house visit sleep home space
(Picture: MMuffin)

Welcome to Modern Etiquette, a brand new series where we ask the pressing questions of 2018.

Once upon a time, many years ago, young people living in cities would rent flats all to themselves, or perhaps share with one friend. They had things called living rooms. Some of them even had spare bedrooms.

Nowadays those things are the stuff of mystery, with city dwelling 20 and 30 somethings crammed into houses of multiple occupancy, more commonly known as a shared house.

Shared houses can be amazing. Nights in watching Love Island, Saturday mornings on the sofa sharing your hangovers. Dinner parties, Sunday lunches, nights out. Living with people you click with is like being in a sitcom.

Of course that’s not always the case. As we saw from this terrifying advert for a flatmate, sharing a living space can be a nightmare. Whether it’s rows about the washing up or full blown cold wars about who uses the most fridge space or takes a 45 minute shower every morning, sharing a home is petrol for arguments.

Whether your house share is like a 2018 version of Friends, or an open prison, there will probably come a time when you’re ready to leave. Maybe some close friends are getting a house together, or you’re ready to move in with your partner. Perhaps you’re leaving the city or (shock horror) even buying a house. Whatever the reason, it’s perfectly reasonable to want to leave a houseshare, but how you handle the complexities of leaving is the big question.

Modern etiquette period girls balance pillow sex education school Mmuffin for Metro.co.uk
(Picture: M Muffin)

How to tell your housemates that you’re leaving is a thorny topic. General etiquette suggests that face-to-face is the most polite way to share bad news. However, anecdotal evidence actually supports the theory that an email or Whatsapp gives anyone who is upset the space to feel that in private.

Even if you do break the news in person, it’s smart to follow up with a written communication about when you’re planning to leave and what your exit strategy is, so that everyone has it for reference and you’re all on the same page.

Next you need to work out what kind of tenancy agreement you have.

Different types of tenancy, according to the Citizen's Advice Bureau

Tenancy arrangements in shared accommodation can vary. The most typical scenarios include:

  • one tenancy agreement which each tenant in the property signs. You all share the property and its facilities and don’t have exclusive possession of any part, even though in practice you may agree to occupy a particular bedroom and pay individual contributions towards the rent. This is a joint tenancy
  • each tenant in the property has their own tenancy agreement because they each have exclusive possession of one specific room while sharing other facilities such as the kitchen. In this case, each student has a sole tenancy
  • one tenant in the property signs the tenancy agreement and has a sole tenancy. They then sub-let rooms separately to other students either as sub-tenants or as lodgers.

The most likely scenario is going to be that you replace yourself. Occasionally a landlord will decide to take on that role them self, if you had a sole tenancy and the landlord likes a tight grip on who lives in the flat.

It’s more likely that it’ll be your job to find a replacement. Generally speaking that means putting an advert on SpareRoom.com or similar, hosting interviews and saying lots of nice things about the flat you’re leaving.

Good etiquette dictates that you should try to find someone who the housemates who are staying at the house feel comfortable with. This person might not be their joint soulmate, but it’s not okay to just take the first person who applies in order to extricate yourself.

How to tell your housemates you're leaving

‘However valid your reasons for leaving are, the moment you drop the bomb to your housemates is never going to be an easy one. It’s usually possible to leave on good terms though. Keep these tips in mind and, even if you end up falling out, it won’t be down to you.

Don’t make it personal:

Even if you’re moving out because your flatmates are driving you insane, you’re sick of the mess, or fed up of their boyfriends always being around, there’s no need to go too hard on them. You’ve made your decision, and you’re getting out. There’s no need to be nasty about it.

Be realistic:

Make sure you leave enough time for them to find a replacement. Even if it means another four weeks of living in a situation you’re not entirely happy with, just comfort yourself with the fact you’re getting out and do your time peacefully.

Talk:

Communication really is key. Most issues can be resolved by talking and being honest with each other, so you know at every stage of the flatmate relationship what you should expect from each other. Even when you’re moving out

Make a graceful exit:

Which means no aggressive Post-It notes, no rubbish bags left behind and no last minute temptation to say ‘and one more thing….’

Matt Hutchinson, SpareRoom director. 

If in doubt, agree a certain number of vetos with your housemate, meaning that they have to consider their use of the word no, but aren’t obliged to live with an adult Telly Tubbies enthusiast with a fondness for making their own Kimchi.

As with pretty much anything, communication is key. However, unlike emotional issues, housing negotiations really should involve written communications so that everyone is on the same page.

Also, remember that if you’ve signed up to a joint tenancy for a set period (usually one or two years, with a breakclause) then you’re not technically entitled to get out of the contract. Almost all landlords will allow it, but it’s their choice.

You’ll also have to foot the bill for the estate agents to change the names on the paperwork, which can be expensive. Shocker.

If you’re struggling with a rental situation, you can speak to the Citizen’s Advice Bureau.

Modern Etiquette is a weekly series. Rather than telling you what to do with a salad crescent or which shoes are most appropriate for Ascot, we’ll be working out how to navigate shared houses, drugs, ex-boyfriends and that moment when you send the screenshot of the person you’re bitching about to them. 

Next week, we’ll be discussing how to dump your personal trainer. 

MORE: Modern Etiquette: I liked an Instagram photo from 2014 – what do I do?

MORE: Modern Etiquette: I got period blood on someone else’s sofa, what do I do?


The best Cyber Monday fashion deals at Topshop, Asos, H&M, New Look, Boohoo, Missguided and more

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The best Black Friday fashion deals for 2018 getty
(Picture: Myles Goode)

Black Friday might have passed but it doesn’t mean the deals have ended.

Cyber Monday is here and most brands have extended their offers or introduced new ones for today.

Most offers will end at midnight so this is your chance to pick up Christmas presents or just a treat for yourself.

(Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

Topshop

Topshop have extended their 50% off everything until midnight tonight so there’s still time to pick up a few bargains.

Asos

The online brand are offering 20% off everything with the code HELLO20.

H&M

H&M have 50% site wide but they are offering a further 10% off for club members, as well as free delivery.

Simply Be

Simply Be are offering 25% off everything when you enter the code CYBER.

New Look

The Black Friday deal continues at New Look with up to 50% off everything.

Pretty Little Thing

Pretty Little Thing have up to 75% off everything on their site.

Dorothy Perkins

For those who missed DP’s 50% off Black Friday deal, you can still get 25% off until midnight tonight.

Evans

Evans have a range of offers across the site with up to 50% some of the items.

Missguided

You can pick up a bargain at Missguided as they have up to 70% off everything.

Boohoo

For Cyber Monday, Boohoo have up to 30% off everything.

Miss Selfridge

Miss Selfridge have 25% off everything today.

River Island

River Island are offering 20% off but only when you spend over £75

The best Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals 2018

Looking to grab a bargain? Check out the below pages to find the best deals.

MORE: Apple Cyber Monday deals: The best reductions on iPhone XS, iPad, Apple Watch and more

MORE: What are the best Currys Cyber Monday deals?

Minzi the amputee dog can jump again thanks to Paralympian-style running blade

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(Picture: Caters)

This is Mitzi – a three-year-old Pomeranian, from Oldenburg, Germany, who shows that despite having three legs she will not be slowed down.

She broke her leg as her puppy and despite surgery to insert a metal plate and screws, the limb couldn’t be saved.

She was four-and-a-half-months-old when vets told owners Sandra and Andre, 24 and 25, that she needed an amputation after blood stopped flowing to the leg and it was declared ‘dead’.

They feared she wouldn’t be able to cope with adapting to her new life, with Sandra ‘crying for weeks’ over the news.

PICS BY MISS MINZI / CATERS NEWS (PICTURED: Adorable Minzi is believed to be one of the happiest dogs on the internet in spite of her differences) - An adorable amputee dog has become an online sensation as one of the happiest dogs on the internet as she showcases her running blade prosthetic. Miniature Minzi, the three-year-old Pomeranian, from Oldenburg, Germany, shows that despite only having three legs she will not be slowed down in her gleeful snaps. The puppy previously broke her leg and despite surgery attempts to insert a metal plate and screws, her little leg couldnt be saved. She was four-and-a-half-months-old when vets told parents Sandra and Andre, 24 and 25, were told she needed an amputation after blood stopped flowing to the leg and it was declared dead. They feared she wouldnt be able to cope with adapting to her new life, with Sandra crying for weeks over the news. - SEE CATERS COPY
(Picture: MISS MINZI / CATERS NEWS)

But to their surprise, Minzi bounced back and seemed ‘happier than ever’ – appearing to not even notice her missing limb.

They created a social media page for their puny pup, who weighs less than a can of soup at a tiny 2.8lb, and has attracted over 112,000 followers.

Sandra Drolshagen, who’s studying a PHD in Robotics said: ‘The blood wasn’t flowing in her leg any more, the tissue in her leg died and had to be amputated immediately.

‘It was very sad. I was pretty much crying for weeks because it was so hard to hear.

‘Andre was strong and told me it would be fine, and when we got her back she was just as happy before.

PICS BY MISS MINZI / CATERS NEWS (PICTURED: Little Minzi post amputation who seems just as happy now as before) - An adorable amputee dog has become an online sensation as one of the happiest dogs on the internet as she showcases her running blade prosthetic. Miniature Minzi, the three-year-old Pomeranian, from Oldenburg, Germany, shows that despite only having three legs she will not be slowed down in her gleeful snaps. The puppy previously broke her leg and despite surgery attempts to insert a metal plate and screws, her little leg couldnt be saved. She was four-and-a-half-months-old when vets told parents Sandra and Andre, 24 and 25, were told she needed an amputation after blood stopped flowing to the leg and it was declared dead. They feared she wouldnt be able to cope with adapting to her new life, with Sandra crying for weeks over the news. - SEE CATERS COPY
(Picture: MISS MINZI / CATERS NEWS)

‘She did very well, she came home with three legs and started playing, running and didn’t really seem to notice she was missing a leg.

‘She was just as strong and happy as before, which we didn’t expect.

‘We want to show people that a dog with three legs doesn’t have restrictions and they can do whatever they want.

‘She is an inspiration, we get messages from people missing a limb and in wheelchairs, saying they want to be as strong as Minzi.

‘Some owners put their dog to sleep if they lose a leg as many people don’t know about prosthetics for pets.

‘It’s important to show that dogs on three legs can have a lovely life with a prosthetic and can live perfectly just like humans with prosthetics can.’

PICS BY MISS MINZI / CATERS NEWS (PICTURED: Minzi in a range of positions showing off her new running blade prosthetic designed by Sandra) - An adorable amputee dog has become an online sensation as one of the happiest dogs on the internet as she showcases her running blade prosthetic. Miniature Minzi, the three-year-old Pomeranian, from Oldenburg, Germany, shows that despite only having three legs she will not be slowed down in her gleeful snaps. The puppy previously broke her leg and despite surgery attempts to insert a metal plate and screws, her little leg couldnt be saved. She was four-and-a-half-months-old when vets told parents Sandra and Andre, 24 and 25, were told she needed an amputation after blood stopped flowing to the leg and it was declared dead. They feared she wouldnt be able to cope with adapting to her new life, with Sandra crying for weeks over the news. - SEE CATERS COPY
(Picture: MISS MINZI / CATERS NEWS)

This year Minzi was fitted with her own custom prosthetic made by the couple who worked with an orthopediatrician to produce a fake limb of their own.

Inspired by running blades used by Paralympians, it took 18 months to design, develop and create.

Sandra said: ‘We had her first prosthetic after her leg was taken-off, but it didn’t fit at all and we went through more than three others.

‘Then I made one with a 3D printer myself to get it right, which is when we sorted the shape and size.

‘We designed this new prosthetic to help her jump, it’s made out of carbon which is rare to have for a dog prosthetic.

PICS BY MISS MINZI / CATERS NEWS (PICTURED: Sandra with adorable amputee pup Minzi who is three - she sometimes struggles to walk but thanks to her new prosthetic she will have less strain on her back) - An adorable amputee dog has become an online sensation as one of the happiest dogs on the internet as she showcases her running blade prosthetic. Miniature Minzi, the three-year-old Pomeranian, from Oldenburg, Germany, shows that despite only having three legs she will not be slowed down in her gleeful snaps. The puppy previously broke her leg and despite surgery attempts to insert a metal plate and screws, her little leg couldnt be saved. She was four-and-a-half-months-old when vets told parents Sandra and Andre, 24 and 25, were told she needed an amputation after blood stopped flowing to the leg and it was declared dead. They feared she wouldnt be able to cope with adapting to her new life, with Sandra crying for weeks over the news. - SEE CATERS COPY
(Picture: MISS MINZI / CATERS NEWS)

‘We wanted one for Minzi that was not a rigid plastic thing.’

It’s hoped it will help to reduce the strain and damage caused to Minzi’s spine through missing a limb.

Andre Padecken, a student, said: ‘All of her muscle disappeared, so we have been trying to build them back up again by practicing with her prosthetic a couple of times a day.

‘We use the prosthetic to help her posture and prevent her back problems from worsening.

‘She already has problems and at times doesn’t want to move at all, so we got to a physiotherapist.

PICS BY MISS MINZI / CATERS NEWS (PICTURED: Left to Right - Minzi (Pomeranian, 3 years old) Monty (Pomeranian, 3 years old) Lia (Pomeranian, 4 years old) Aisha (Keeshond, 11 years old) Cora (Keeshond, 14 years old)) - An adorable amputee dog has become an online sensation as one of the happiest dogs on the internet as she showcases her running blade prosthetic. Miniature Minzi, the three-year-old Pomeranian, from Oldenburg, Germany, shows that despite only having three legs she will not be slowed down in her gleeful snaps. The puppy previously broke her leg and despite surgery attempts to insert a metal plate and screws, her little leg couldnt be saved. She was four-and-a-half-months-old when vets told parents Sandra and Andre, 24 and 25, were told she needed an amputation after blood stopped flowing to the leg and it was declared dead. They feared she wouldnt be able to cope with adapting to her new life, with Sandra crying for weeks over the news. - SEE CATERS COPY
(Picture: MISS MINZI / CATERS NEWS)

‘It took two years to search for someone to help us build her a perfect prosthetic, it’s like those made for humans and is very capable.’

The couple who also have two other Pomeranians Monty, 3, and Lia, 4, as well as Keeshonds Aisha, 11, and Cora, 14, maintain they only photograph them when the dogs want to.

Andre said: ‘When they walk away from the camera or we see they don’t want to have pictures taken we stop immediately.

‘We only take photographs when they are happy and want to, but of course they get a lot of treats too.’

MORE: Modern Etiquette: How do I leave my shared house without making everyone hate me?

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MORE: Baby penguins mob a photography crew and the pictures are too cute

The best Amazon Cyber Monday deals

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(Picture: Getty)

If you missed out on the best of the Black Friday bargains, there’s still time to join in with Cyber Monday.

As the name suggests, this is the day when you’ll get the best savings online, and who are more online than Amazon?

There are lots of discounts across the site, so whether you’re looking for a toothbrush or a telly, we’ve got you covered.

Here are the best discounts on Amazon, but get the soon as the sale finishes tonight.

Amazon Echo

It’s now just £54.99 for the Echo, with 39% off today.

You can ask Alexa to play music for you or answer questuons, or get add-ons that allow you to control everything from your lights to your fridge.

Amazon Fire TV Stick

Today sees 38% off the stick, which plugs in to make your TV smart.

It also comes with the Alexa remote, so you can just ask the controller to put on your favourite shows.

(Picture: Amazon)

Karcher Window Vac

Get 50% off this handy household gadget that cleans the windows and vacuums up the water as it goes.

It was £67.53, but is now £33.99.

Johnnie Walker whisky

There are bottles here from £17.49 to £99, with 41% off.

If you have a whisky lover in your life, one of these could make a great present.

KitchenAid mixers

These iconic mixers have more than half off today, which is quite a chunk off the cost.

They’re available in three colours, and down from £579.99 to £269.99.

(Picture: Amazon)

Philips air fryer

If you want to go on a health kick after Christmas, grab yourself one of these gadgets.

You can fry all sorts of things with hardly any oil, and you’ll be saving over £135 on this one which is now £114.99.

Oral B SmartSeries toothbrush

With a whopping 76% off, this brush is now £54.99.

It has bluetooth to connect to your smartphone, and guide you to how best to brush.

Cluse watches

There are two watches to choose from in the range – one grey and one black.

Both are now under £40, and would make beautiful Christmas presents.

The best Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals 2018

Looking to grab a bargain? Check out the below pages to find the best deals.

MORE: Minzi the amputee dog can jump again thanks to Paralympian-style running blade

MORE: The best Cyber Monday TV deals that you can get today

My best friend saved my life when he spoke to me about my problems. I want other men to do the same

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Best friends Joss and Nathan (Picture: Dundas Communications)

This is the story of me and my friend Joss, and how he pulled me through during a very bad time in my life.

We met during our first week at university, more than 20 years ago, and bonded over our taste in music, allegiance to the Welsh rugby team and mutual devotion to the college bar.

Our friendship deepened once we both moved to London, and became regular fixtures on each other’s social circuits, much aided by us living within walking distance of each other from the mid-00s onwards.

We’ve celebrated and commiserated together in equal measure, and over time have come to have each other’s backs. I was proud to be an usher at his wedding, and am prouder still to be the godfather to one of his three beautiful children.

He was supportive and encouraging when I came out, and was crucial in helping me through a particularly tough couple of years.

At the beginning of 2015, I was diagnosed as having undergone a prolonged nervous breakdown.

I had underlying issues with depression and anxiety – which are not uncommon among gay men – and these were exacerbated by some serious physical health issues; I suffered through eight debilitating operations over the course of 2012 and 2013.

During the same period, again like too many gay men, I fell into an existence of too much sex and too many drugs.

It took me another 18 months or so to fully reach rock bottom and make a positive change in my life. Joss was there for me then too, providing a shoulder to lean on and paid for me to see a therapist so I could start to untangle and make better sense of what was going on in my head.

Chemsex is a very pervasive thing. It starts as a circus, an orgy of men with heightened experiences, love and affirmation. Over time, and if unchecked, it turns into a house of horrors, complete with mounting paranoia, alienation and a plummeting sense of self-worth.

My behaviour progressively became erratic.

This didn’t go unnoticed by friends. One evening in August 2013, Joss arranged for us to go for a drink, ostensibly to catch up, but in reality to confront me about what was going on.

As was my new normal, I had a lost weekend and despite speaking to him an hour before we were due to meet, promptly passed out.

Unable to get me on my phone, he came around to my house and ended up climbing through the living room window to find me having a drug overdose, face down on the floor. He called an ambulance and had me admitted to King’s College University Hospital.

In hindsight, this was one of the best things that could have happened to me.

I’d been trying to run away from what was going on, but after this there was no hiding the fact that my life had spiralled out of control.

It took me another 18 months or so to fully reach rock bottom and make a positive change in my life. Joss was there for me then too, providing a shoulder to lean on and paid for me to see a therapist so I could start to untangle and make better sense of what was going on in my head.

Without sounding trite, time is a great healer. It also provides an opportunity to reflect upon what is important – my friendship with Joss is somewhere near the top of that list.

Although he wasn’t the only friend to provide support and sustenance during my time of need, his interventions were instrumental in dragging me out of the gutter.

Our friendship is not something I take for granted, and I will be forever grateful for the open, loving and non-judgemental relationship that has evolved over the years.

And I am very aware that not everyone has the same level of support to call upon.

New research from the Movember Foundation showed that 47% of men feel unable to confide in friends about their problems, compared to 63% of women.

Equally worrying, 27% said that they had no friends at all to confide in, while many of those who do, don’t create opportunities to meet up with them.

I took part in Movember in 2017, supporting men’s mental health charities.

This year, I’m sparing the world the sight of my moustache but have instead agreed to speak in public about my past problems in an attempt to raise awareness.

Regardless of what specific cause you support, it’s good to be vocal about that a lot of men have gone through the ringer – and that keeping this to themselves is the worst thing they can do.

Suffering in silence when you have a mental health issue sends you in the wrong direction. The sooner you open up, acknowledge your needs and seek help, the better.

Getting involved in Movember has also given me the opportunity to celebrate one of the most important friendships and relationships in my life.

Joss – thanks for everything. Love you, brother.

MORE: The chemsex scene was the darkest place I’ve been but it led to my recovery

MORE: Meet the man behind groundbreaking mental health organisation Sanctus

MORE: Meet HARR-e, the artificial intelligence taking on the male mental health crisis

All the best Cyber Monday beauty sales

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(Picture: Getty)

If you thought the madness of Black Friday was over, you’ve got another think coming.

It might not be the Friday after Thanksgiving, but lots of companies are stretching out the discounts until today, known as Cyber Monday, to keep parting us from our cash.

Beauty junkies will be delighted to hear that some massive brands are taking part in cyber Monday.

Charlotte Tilbury has 40% off night time skin care, 33% off lip trios and 50% off the very exciting sounding ‘Magic Mystery Box’.

Urban Decay has 15% off

Lancome is 20% off

SensatioNail is 25% off

Estee Lauder is 15% off 

Glossier has 20% off (and they almost never do discounts)

Peach & Lily will give you 30% off with the code PEACH2018

Cult Beauty have got all sorts of bargains – have a rifle through.

SpaceNK will give you a free full size gift when you order over £50. 

St Tropez has a whopping 40% on their darkest ever fake tan.

Huda beauty is 50% off on selected products

Foreo has between 25 – 30% off

Ciate is 25% off 

Skincare brand La Roche Posay has a generous one third off

Glossybox have 20% off, or buy one get one free on their advent calendars

Glo skin beauty has 25% off

Nars will give you 20% off, if you sing up, which only involves putting your email address in.

MORE: Kim Kardashian: From ecstasy-fuelled weddings and sex tapes to shunning alcohol

MORE: The best Cyber Monday TV deals that you can get today

There’s a retirement home for sloths and it’s adorable

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Retirement homes aren’t just for humans – animals need somewhere to enjoy their golden years too.

You might have heard of homes for older cats and dogs but now one zoo has opened a home for sloths.

Instead of taking on young breeding pairs, the zoo team at Folly Farm in Pembrokshire has made the decision to home older sloths which have ‘retired’ from other zoos, giving them a comfortable home tailored to their needs as they relax into their twilight years.

The zoo homed its first older two-toed sloth, Tuppee, in March 2016.

Retirement home for sloths Picture: James Davies METROGRAB
(Picture: James Davies)

Like us humans, sloths need a little company from time-to-time and, now 24, Tuppee has just been joined by Lightcap, from Bristol Zoo.

At 10 years Tuppee’s senior, Lightcap is currently the fifth oldest sloth in any European zoo.

Reaching an average weight of 8kg, two-toed sloths have a lifespan of around 20 years in the wild but have been known to live up to 50 years captivity.

Tim Morphew, Folly Farm’s zoo curator, said: ‘Initially we didn’t make a conscious decision to home older sloths.

Retirement home for sloths Picture: James Davies METROGRAB
(Picture: James Davies)

‘Conservation is key for us at Folly Farm and our breeding programmes are a huge part of that, but our older animals are just as important to us and we need to make sure they’re looked after in their old age.

‘By taking on these older animals and giving them a comfortable retirement, we’re helping conservation efforts at other zoos by freeing up enclosures for younger, breeding pairs.

‘Aching muscles, creaking joints and slowing down a bit are all things that happen to us as we get older, and most animals are no different.

‘With the older sloths, we might boil their root vegetables to make them softer and easier to eat and, if they’re showing signs of old age, add supplements like cod liver oil into their diet.

Retirement home for sloths Picture: James Davies METROGRAB
(Picture: James Davies)

‘Depending on how they get on, we might also look at adapting the enclosure to make the floor deeper and reduce the height of branches, so they don’t have as far to climb down.

‘Like many older men, Tuppee has been known to be a bit grumpy and even misbehaves at times but we know he’s a softie at heart.

‘We’re hoping some older, female company will be a good influence on him and bring out the softer side of his nature.

‘Sloths aren’t known for being social animals, but as they get older we’ve found they do like company. So, we’re all looking forward to getting to know Lightcap and seeing how the pair get on.

‘Sloths are our number one animal for adoptions, so with Lightcap joining us just before Christmas we’re sure our sloth adoptions will prove a popular – and unusual – Christmas present this year.

‘And, who knows, soon we may even be in a position to expand the retirement home further.’

MORE: Minzi the amputee dog can jump again thanks to Paralympian-style running blade

MORE: It’s A Wonderful Life script is being painted on train platforms to help people struggling with mental health problems

MORE: Baby penguins mob a photography crew and the pictures are too cute

Cyber Monday 2018: beauty deals and discounts you need to know about

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(Picture: Getty Images)

Cyber Monday has arrived and while many eager shoppers grabbed a beauty Black Friday bargain, there are yet more offers and discounts on beauty products not to be missed. The fun’s not over yet.

This year our favourite online retailers and beauty brands from The Ordinary to Beauty Bay, are offering up deals and discounts codes that would make any beauty lover swoon.

So whether you want to upgrade your skincare routine, stock up on new makeup products for the new season, or finish up your Christmas shopping, we’ve got the best Cyber Monday beauty deals that will have you sorted in seconds.

Tip: bookmark this page to stay up-to-date with the latest offers.

Anastasia Beverly Hills

www.anastasiabeverlyhills.co.uk

Up to 50% off, including 30% off glow kits.

(Picture: ASOS – Too Faced Sugar Cookie Eye Shadow Palette)

ASOS

www.asos.com

Last day to save 20% off Face + Body online at ASOS using code ‘HELLO20’.

AVON

www.avon.uk.com

An extra 20% off selected lines in our black Friday sale.

bareMinerals

www.bareminerals.co.uk

15% off everything online plus free delivery until midnight Monday 26th November.

Beauty Bay

www.beautybay.com

Up to 30% off everything. Shop our top Beauty Bay Cyber Monday products here.

Benefit Cosmetics

www.benefitcosmetics.com

Last chance to save 20% on Benefit favourites.

Bobbi Brown

www.bobbibrown.co.uk

Bobbi Brown are offering 20% off. Also receive a free Smokey Eye Mascara when you spend £65+ using code ‘SHOPANDGLOW’.

Boots

www.boots.com

Huge Cyber Monday discounts across fragrance, electrical and beauty departments.

Charlotte Tilbury

www.charlottetilbury.com

Over 50% off Charlotte Tilbury Magic Mystery Box.

Current Body

www.currentbody.com

Current Body are offering up to 50% off beauty gadgets, including devices from Clarisonic and Phillips.

Debenhams

www.debenhams.com

Up to 15% off all beauty, skincare and fragrance.

DECIEM

www.deciem.com

There’s still time to save over 60% off items from brands including The Ordinary, NIOD and The Chemistry Brand.

Diptyque

www.diptyqueparis.co.uk

Available online from 23rd – 27th November only: £53 for 190g Baies Scented Candle.

Elemis

www.elemis.com

ELEMIS are offering 25% off all full-size skincare and body care from Frangipani to Pro-Collagen using code ‘CYBER’.

E.l.f Cosmetics

www.elfcosmetics.co.uk

50% off on orders over £30 at e.l.f. Cosmetics 22nd – 26th November .

Escentual

www.escentual.com

Up to 50% off the likes of Versace, GUERLAIN, Clarins. Benefit and many, many more.

ESPA Skincare

www.espaskincare.com

Buy three Espa products and receive one as a complimentary free gift. Get a free Bergamot and Jasmine Body Wash when you spend £80.

Eyeko

www.eyeko.co.uk

Up to 30% of everything this Cyber Monday.

Feel Unique

www.feelunique.com

Up to 33% off over 400 beauty brands.

Fenty Beauty

www.harveynichols.com

10% off everything in-store and online in Harvey Nichols from Friday 23rd November.

FOREO

www.foreo.com

Get up to 30% off FOREO’s beauty gadgets, including 25% of the FOREO UFO from 23rd November.

(Picture: GHD)

GHD

www.ghdhair.com

Up to 30% off selected ghd electricals. Plus, use code ‘GHDXBF’ for a free gift.

Black Friday deals include:

• 30% off the ghd original styler, RRP £109, Black Friday price £76.30.
• 30% off the ghd Final Fix hairspray, RRP £3.95, Black Friday price £76.30.
• 20% off the ghd curve range, RRP £120, Black Friday price £96.
• 15% off ghd gold styler, RRP £139, Black Friday price £118.16.

GLAMGLOW

www.glamglow.co.uk

15% off for 24 hours only. Code automatically applied.

Glossier

www.glossier.com

20% off everything from next Friday to the following Monday online and in-store.

House of Fraser

www.houseoffraser.co.uk

Up to 50% off bath and body.

Iconic London

www.iconiclondoninc.com

Save up to £15.

Illamasqua

www.illamasqua.com

Up to 50% online at Illamasqua.

(Picture: Isle of Paradise)

Isle of Paradise

www.isleofparadise.co.uk

Get up to 75% off the full Isle Of Paradise range from 23rd-26th.

It Cosmetics

www.itcosmetics.co.uk

Get 25% off everything when you buy two or more products using code ‘BLACK25’.

John Lewis

www.johnlewis.com

Up to 15% off all beauty online and in-store.

Kiehls

www.kiehls.co.uk

Up to 20% off their bestselling routines when you purchase two or more products.

Liberty London

www.libertylondon.com

Get up to 30% off Liberty London beauty hall favourites including Chantecaille, Byredo and The Sleep Kit from Liberty London.

Liz Earle

uk.lizearle.com

15% off everything until midnight tpnight.

Look Fantastic

www.lookfantastic.com

Save up to 25% in the Look Fantastic Black Friday sale (offer will decline 1% every hour) using code ‘CYBER’.

NARS

www.narscosmetics.com

From 23rd get 20% off all products online at NARS.

NUXE

uk.nuxe.com

Get 25% off on orders over £25, or 30% on orders over £40 + free Christmas mug on orders over £30.

Oskia

www.oskiaskincare.com

OSKIA are offering 25% off all products and they will be donating 100% of profits from each and every sale made on Black Friday to Women for Women Charity.

OUAI Haircare

theouai.co.uk

Cyber week deal (19 – 26th November) – buy 2 full-sized products, get 1 for 50% off. Using code ‘HALFOUAI’.

Paula’s Choice

www.paulaschoice.co.uk

20% off orders over £40 plus free delivery and free gift with orders over £60 with a different gift everyday (travel size).

Revolution Beauty

www.revolutionbeauty.com

Up to 50% off selected lines, including Christmas gifts and highlighters.

Sleek MakeUP

www.amazon.co.uk

Get up to 30% on selected Sleek MakeUP products from 19th – 23rd November.

Space NK

www.spacenk.com

Simply spend £50 or more and select a full-size beauty gift of your choice on the Shopping Bag page.

Spectrum Collections

www.spectrumcollections.com

30% off everything from Wednesday 21st November.

Stila

www.stila.co.uk

20% off everything using the code ‘MONDAY20’ until Tuesday 27th November 9am.

Superdrug

www.superdrug.com

Superdrug are offering daily Black Friday deals and up 50% off selected products from Hairburst and TRESemmé.

The Body Shop

www.thebodyshop.com

40% off this Cyber Monday. Available in-store and online using code ‘19085’.

(Picture: This Works)

This Works

www.thisworks.com

Up to 30% off this Cyber Monday.

Urban Decay

www.urbandecay.co.uk

Get 20% off everything. Or receive up to 25% off everything when you buy two or more products using code ‘CYBER25’.

Vita Liberata

www.vitaliberata.co.uk

25% off site wide between 22nd – 26th November.

The best Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals 2018

Looking to grab a bargain? Check out the below pages to find the best deals.


Brits spend eight months of their adult life on the toilet, study finds

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(Picture: Getty)

A new study has found that Brits with healthy bowel habits spend an equivalent of eight months of their adult life on the toilet.

The study discovered that we use the toilet around eight times a day on average for a wee or a number two.

This amounts to just over 15 minutes every day or almost two hours a week on the loo.

Incredibly, a third admitted that sitting on the toilet was one of the only occasions they actually get some time to themselves.

It also emerged women are more likely to strike up a conversation in a public loo with a stranger than men are.

Simon Bayley, from digital DIY bowel cancer test, said: ‘We were surprised at how much time some Brits seem to spend sitting on the loo.

‘It’s something we all do, but rarely discuss – yet ‘toilet etiquette’ is a huge part of modern life, whether that’s at home, work or out in public.

Teenager sitting on the toilet
(Picture: Getty)

‘A loo break is a pause from whatever else you might be doing, but it can also be a really good opportunity to get a glimpse at your health.

‘Your toilet habits can tell you a lot about what’s going on inside your body.’

The study also found one fifth of respondents admit they’d feel weird if they were sitting on the toilet without their phone to fiddle with.

And Brits are now more likely to look through their phone or simply sit there and think than read a newspaper, suggesting the classic habit of reading on the loo may be a thing of the past.

Almost one in twenty even admitted to talking on the phone while in the bathroom.

But there are some no-nos when it comes to toilet behaviour with 65% of men saying they would find it unacceptable if another man used the urinal right next to them – if there were others free.

And the horror scenario of using a public toilet only to discover too late there was no loo roll would see a quarter of Brits ask a stranger to hand them some.

But 24% would wait until they thought the coast was clear, before waddling to the next cubicle with their trousers around their ankles.

Man sitting on a toilet seat.
(Picture: Getty)

More than six in 10 adults have also been left embarrassed after entering a bathroom where the previous user left a bad smell – only to open the door afterwards and find someone else waiting to go in.

The research, carried out via OnePoll, also found six in 10 Brits reckon they can get a good measure of their overall health – by the state of their bowel movements.

And one in four admit they always have a peek into the toilet after going for a number two to keep an eye out for any worrying health concerns.

One in four adults also say they have noticed blood in their stools are using the toilet, though only a quarter of these mad an appointment with their doctor about it, with the majority delaying it for as long as possible out of embarrassment.

Instead, if they felt there was something seriously wrong, they would wait eight days to book an appointment with the doctor.

Symptoms of bowel cancer

• Obvious bleeding from your bottom and/or blood in your poo
• A change in your bowel habit
• Diarrhoea or constipation lasting for more than 7 days
• Unexplained weight loss
• A pain or lump in your tummy

If you have these symptoms, seek advice from your GP

Using proprietary electrochemical technology, the measure Bowel Health Test allows you to test your bowel health in the privacy of your own home.

It checks for Faecal Occult Blood (FOB), which is low level bleeding invisible to the human eye, which is an early indicator of various gastrointestinal diseases including bowel cancer and stomach ulcers.

GP and author Dr Ellie Cannon said: ‘We know early diagnosis for bowel cancer increases survival rates, but many believe this is an ‘older’ person’s disease.

‘In fact, bowel cancer can affect any adult and new research suggests bowel cancer is on the increase among young people.

‘The measure Bowel Health Test offers a discreet and clean test as there’s no messy handling or sample storage.

‘You can do this at home and it will pick up potential health issues to be discussed with a GP promptly.’

MORE: All the best Cyber Monday beauty sales

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This is Britain’s best street photography

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Gisela Szlatoszlavek @giselaszlatoszlavek Blackpool in Union, Blackpool Leading Out of Home media owner Clear Channel has today announced the shortlist for MyTown, the UK?s biggest outdoor exhibition of street photography. The competition, which showcases the work of UK photographers, celebrates the diversity and uniqueness of our local towns and cities.
(Picture: Gisela Szlatoszlavek/Clear Channel)

The shortlist for a nationwide street photography competition has been announced, showcasing the most stunning snaps from across the country.

From Newcastle to Notting Hill, Brighton to Blackpool, and towns and cities in between, the shortlist captures varied and innovative moments, depicting all walks of life.

Thousands of competition entries have been narrowed down to just 12 of the best images by the judging panel, and will comprise the final round of the annual MyTown contest.

Justin Goulding @just_goulding Faces, London Leading Out of Home media owner Clear Channel has today announced the shortlist for MyTown, the UK?s biggest outdoor exhibition of street photography. The competition, which showcases the work of UK photographers, celebrates the diversity and uniqueness of our local towns and cities.
(Picture: Justin Goulding/Clear Channel)

The competition, launched by Clear Channel, celebrates the diversity and uniqueness of local towns and cities up and down the country.

And the results are pretty stunning.

From the surreal to the bizarre, to the simply sublime – the images really show how much beauty the UK’s regions have to offer.

Andy Allchurch @apicturedocumentary Do not feed the gulls, Liverpool Leading Out of Home media owner Clear Channel has today announced the shortlist for MyTown, the UK?s biggest outdoor exhibition of street photography. The competition, which showcases the work of UK photographers, celebrates the diversity and uniqueness of our local towns and cities.
(Picture: Jeffrey Lagden/Clear Channel)

The broad shortlist features the glorious British summer, with suntans, seagulls and seafronts. Moments of party and pity, culture and colour, all create an image of the juxtaposed lives of society in modern Britain.

The competition, now in its second year, received an amazing 2,100 entries from amateur and professional photographers alike, almost three times the number of entries as last year.

Selected images from this year’s entries will be showcased across Clear Channel’s national network of over 3,000 screens – and also displayed at a pop-up exhibition at Carousel: Next Door in central London, on December 5th, where the winner will be announced.

Fabrizio Oppes @fabrizio_oppes My seafront, Hove Leading Out of Home media owner Clear Channel has today announced the shortlist for MyTown, the UK?s biggest outdoor exhibition of street photography. The competition, which showcases the work of UK photographers, celebrates the diversity and uniqueness of our local towns and cities.
(Picture: Fabrizio Oppes/Clear Channel)

Josh Edgoose @spicy.meatball Tate Britain Colour Match, London Leading Out of Home media owner Clear Channel has today announced the shortlist for MyTown, the UK?s biggest outdoor exhibition of street photography. The competition, which showcases the work of UK photographers, celebrates the diversity and uniqueness of our local towns and cities.
(Picture: Josh Edgoose/Clear Channel)

Craig Philip Szlatoszlavek @craigsz Bradford Cafe, West Yorkshire Leading Out of Home media owner Clear Channel has today announced the shortlist for MyTown, the UK?s biggest outdoor exhibition of street photography. The competition, which showcases the work of UK photographers, celebrates the diversity and uniqueness of our local towns and cities.
(Picture: Craig Philip Szlatoszlavek/Clear Channel)

Steve Ullathorne @ullathorne Ron and Mitzi on Portobello Road, London Leading Out of Home media owner Clear Channel has today announced the shortlist for MyTown, the UK?s biggest outdoor exhibition of street photography. The competition, which showcases the work of UK photographers, celebrates the diversity and uniqueness of our local towns and cities.
(Picture: Steve Ullathorne/Clear Channel)

In addition to the national exposure of the exhibition, the winning photographer will receive a X100F, Fujifilm’s premium compact camera, and a UK city break of their choosing.

MORE: Baby penguins mob a photography crew and the pictures are too cute

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Researchers find that nice men have more sex

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(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

If you believed the men of Reddit, you’d think that women constantly turn down ‘nice guys’ in order to have sex with big strong mean men.

But a study from the Queensland University of Technology has found that quite the opposite is true. They did a study of 3,000 mena nd 1,500, anaylising the data from their dating profiles, and found that the men

who tend to get laid most often are outgoing, emotionally stable, and conscientious.

Outgoing might have sounded like an obvious, but emotionally stable and conscientious aren’t always the qualities used to create a fictional romantic heroes, but it looks like women are more interested in the kind of men who treat them well than moody Heathcliff types.

The research also noted that while men preferred consistent personality traits, women liked men with variety within their personalities, with more personality traits rather than fewer.

Commenting on the study, Dr. Stephen Whyte wrote ‘Findings suggest that the greater variance in male traits and their particular combinations may provide an advantage for them when it comes to sex and reproduction but that doesn’t appear to be the case for the women’.

You can read the full study here. 

MORE: Modern Etiquette: How do I leave my shared house without making everyone hate me?

Mum says son’s CBeebies toy sounds like a woman having an orgasm

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Emma Shepherd with the children's game which makes an unfortunate sound. See SWNS story SWBRorgasm; A mum says a game on her two-year-old son's CBeebies Playtime app sounds like a woman - having an ORGASM. Emma Shepherd, 37, said son Oscar's Alphablocks features a pair of pink lips which make a sexual 'moaning' noise. On the app the child is tasked with writing a word and has five scrabble-style tiles to select from. When they click on a letter, the lips make its phonic sound to help teach children the alphabet - but the 'l' appears to imitate more sexual vocals. Mum-of-two Emma, from Taunton, Somerset, says it's like it has been "hacked by perverts".
(Picture: Somerset Live / SWNS.com)

A mum says a game on her two-year-old son’s CBeebies Playtime app sounds like a woman having an orgasm.

Emma Shepherd, 37, said son Oscar’s Alphablocks features a pair of pink lips which make a sexual ‘moaning’ noise.

Alphablocks is one of many popular children’s TV shows to feature on the app alongside Topsy and Tim, Teletubbies and Octonaughts.

On the app the child is tasked with writing a word and has five scrabble-style tiles to select from.

When they click on a letter, the lips make its phonic sound to help teach children the alphabet – but the ‘l’ appears to imitate more sexual vocals.

Mum-of-two Emma, from Taunton, Somerset, says it’s like it has been ‘hacked by perverts’.

Emma Shepherd with the children's game which makes an unfortunate sound. See SWNS story SWBRorgasm; A mum says a game on her two-year-old son's CBeebies Playtime app sounds like a woman - having an ORGASM. Emma Shepherd, 37, said son Oscar's Alphablocks features a pair of pink lips which make a sexual 'moaning' noise. On the app the child is tasked with writing a word and has five scrabble-style tiles to select from. When they click on a letter, the lips make its phonic sound to help teach children the alphabet - but the 'l' appears to imitate more sexual vocals. Mum-of-two Emma, from Taunton, Somerset, says it's like it has been "hacked by perverts".
(Picture: Somerset Live / SWNS.com)

She said: ‘It sounded more like ‘R’, or ‘ahhh’, if you know what I mean, and not the sound I’d associate with the letter ‘L’.

‘It’s like some perverted hackers are playing a trick. My husband and I both looked at each other in surprise and burst out laughing when we heard it.’

The app is designed for young families to help children learn as they play through expression.

But Emma said it’s the first time she noticed anything odd in the year Oscar has used it.

She added: ‘It does seem odd that you hear what sounds like a moan of pleasure when spelling the word lips. I’ve never noticed it before at all.

‘However, on a positive note, it is helping Oscar with his spelling.’

The BBC has been contacted for comment and we will update the article.

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Best man dresses in wedding gown to prank groom’s first look

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A groom burst out in hysterics at the altar when he turned around to find his bearded best man dressed standing where his bride should be.

David Hofmann, 32, was expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis, 29, in her white gown, but she had traded places with their friend Timmy Horton, 37.

Photographer Anna Morrison captured the moment David creased with laughter after seeing his friend wearing a veil and squeezed into a dress.

The hilarious moment groom David Hofffman,32, turned around expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis,29, for the first time on their wedding day- and instead saw his best friend Timmy Horton,37, in a wedding dress! Lord Hill Farms in Snohomish, Washington, USA, November 17,2018. .See SWNS story SWNYlook.Hilarious photos show a groom in fits of laughter after he turned to look at his bride on their wedding day - and found his bearded best man standing there instead.David Hofmann, 32, was expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis, 29, in her white gown, but she had traded places with their friend Timmy Horton, 37.Photographer Anna Morrison captured the moment David creased in hysterical laughter after seeing his bearded pal wearing a veil and squeezed into a dress. David, an electrician, said: "Right in that moment I was anxious. I was trying to calm my nerves because I was about to see my bride for the first time.
(Picture: Anna Morrison/SWNS.COM)

David, an electrician, said: ‘Right in that moment I was anxious. I was trying to calm my nerves because I was about to see my bride for the first time.

‘I was expecting to see Brianne and I turned around to see Timmy in a wedding dress.

The hilarious moment groom David Hofffman,32, turned around expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis,29, for the first time on their wedding day- and instead saw his best friend Timmy Horton,37, in a wedding dress! Lord Hill Farms in Snohomish, Washington, USA, November 17,2018. .See SWNS story SWNYlook.Hilarious photos show a groom in fits of laughter after he turned to look at his bride on their wedding day - and found his bearded best man standing there instead.David Hofmann, 32, was expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis, 29, in her white gown, but she had traded places with their friend Timmy Horton, 37.Photographer Anna Morrison captured the moment David creased in hysterical laughter after seeing his bearded pal wearing a veil and squeezed into a dress. David, an electrician, said: "Right in that moment I was anxious. I was trying to calm my nerves because I was about to see my bride for the first time.
(Picture: Anna Morrison/SWNS.COM)

‘He was pale and hairy and we love each other very much but not in that way. I was falling down laughing.’

Bride Brianne, a housekeeper, and best man Timmy, a carpenter, plotted their prank after Timmy saw some funny wedding gags online.

The hilarious moment groom David Hofffman,32, turned around expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis,29, for the first time on their wedding day- and instead saw his best friend Timmy Horton,37, in a wedding dress! Lord Hill Farms in Snohomish, Washington, USA, November 17,2018. .See SWNS story SWNYlook.Hilarious photos show a groom in fits of laughter after he turned to look at his bride on their wedding day - and found his bearded best man standing there instead.David Hofmann, 32, was expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis, 29, in her white gown, but she had traded places with their friend Timmy Horton, 37.Photographer Anna Morrison captured the moment David creased in hysterical laughter after seeing his bearded pal wearing a veil and squeezed into a dress. David, an electrician, said: "Right in that moment I was anxious. I was trying to calm my nerves because I was about to see my bride for the first time.
(Picture: Anna Morrison/SWNS.COM)

While the bride was reluctant at first, she eventually came around and suggested tricking David during a fake ‘first look’ photoshoot.

The ‘first look’ refers to a wedding tradition where brides may debut their look to their husband-to-be moments before walking down the aisle.

The actual reveal of bride Brianne Dennis,29,to David Hofffman,32 for the first time on their wedding day. Lord Hill Farms in Snohomish, Washington, USA, on November 17., 2018. See SWNS story SWNYlook.Hilarious photos show a groom in fits of laughter after he turned to look at his bride on their wedding day - and found his bearded best man standing there instead.David Hofmann, 32, was expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis, 29, in her white gown, but she had traded places with their friend Timmy Horton, 37.Photographer Anna Morrison captured the moment David creased in hysterical laughter after seeing his bearded pal wearing a veil and squeezed into a dress. David, an electrician, said: "Right in that moment I was anxious. I was trying to calm my nerves because I was about to see my bride for the first time.
(Picture: Anna Morrison/SWNS.COM)

Mother-of-one Brianne, who has a four-year-old son, Wyatt, and lives with David in Marysville, Washington, USA, said: ‘I really wanted a serious ceremony at first.

‘I didn’t want any of their shenanigans on the day, but a few months down the road I changed my mind.’

The actual reveal of bride Brianne Dennis,29,to David Hofffman,32 for the first time on their wedding day. Lord Hill Farms in Snohomish, Washington, USA, on November 17., 2018. See SWNS story SWNYlook.Hilarious photos show a groom in fits of laughter after he turned to look at his bride on their wedding day - and found his bearded best man standing there instead.David Hofmann, 32, was expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis, 29, in her white gown, but she had traded places with their friend Timmy Horton, 37.Photographer Anna Morrison captured the moment David creased in hysterical laughter after seeing his bearded pal wearing a veil and squeezed into a dress. David, an electrician, said: "Right in that moment I was anxious. I was trying to calm my nerves because I was about to see my bride for the first time.
(Picture: Anna Morrison/SWNS.COM)

On the special day, an emotional David waited anxiously while Timmy slipped into a spare wedding dress and donned a delicate chiffon veil.

Then, Timmy tapped the groom on his shoulder as friends and family watched on, trying to stop laughing.

The hilarious moment groom David Hofffman,32, turned around expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis,29, for the first time on their wedding day- and instead saw his best friend Timmy Horton,37, in a wedding dress! Lord Hill Farms in Snohomish, Washington, USA, November 17,2018. .See SWNS story SWNYlook.Hilarious photos show a groom in fits of laughter after he turned to look at his bride on their wedding day - and found his bearded best man standing there instead.David Hofmann, 32, was expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis, 29, in her white gown, but she had traded places with their friend Timmy Horton, 37.Photographer Anna Morrison captured the moment David creased in hysterical laughter after seeing his bearded pal wearing a veil and squeezed into a dress. David, an electrician, said: "Right in that moment I was anxious. I was trying to calm my nerves because I was about to see my bride for the first time.
(Picture: Anna Morrison/SWNS.COM)

Timmy, of Snohomish, Washington, USA, said: ‘I was really nervous and anxious because it’s my best friend and I love the bride and groom so much.

‘When it happened I just couldn’t restrain myself and I burst out laughing. I think it really broke the ice and the tension.’

The hilarious moment groom David Hofffman,32, turned around expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis,29, for the first time on their wedding day- and instead saw his best friend Timmy Horton,37, in a wedding dress! Lord Hill Farms in Snohomish, Washington, USA, November 17,2018. .See SWNS story SWNYlook.Hilarious photos show a groom in fits of laughter after he turned to look at his bride on their wedding day - and found his bearded best man standing there instead.David Hofmann, 32, was expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis, 29, in her white gown, but she had traded places with their friend Timmy Horton, 37.Photographer Anna Morrison captured the moment David creased in hysterical laughter after seeing his bearded pal wearing a veil and squeezed into a dress. David, an electrician, said: "Right in that moment I was anxious. I was trying to calm my nerves because I was about to see my bride for the first time.
(Picture: Anna Morrison/SWNS.COM)

​Moments after the prank, David got to see his real bride for the first time and was overcome with emotion.

He said: ‘It was very funny and then I got to do the real first look. Brianne has always been beautiful so I didn’t expect anything less.

The actual reveal of bride Brianne Dennis,29,to David Hofffman,32 for the first time on their wedding day. Lord Hill Farms in Snohomish, Washington, USA, on November 17., 2018. See SWNS story SWNYlook.Hilarious photos show a groom in fits of laughter after he turned to look at his bride on their wedding day - and found his bearded best man standing there instead.David Hofmann, 32, was expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis, 29, in her white gown, but she had traded places with their friend Timmy Horton, 37.Photographer Anna Morrison captured the moment David creased in hysterical laughter after seeing his bearded pal wearing a veil and squeezed into a dress. David, an electrician, said: "Right in that moment I was anxious. I was trying to calm my nerves because I was about to see my bride for the first time.
(Picture: Anna Morrison/SWNS.COM)

‘There had been so much building up to that moment that when I first saw her, all of a sudden I just felt complete. I’ll remember the day and that moment forever.’

David and Brianne went on to tie the knot in a ceremony surrounded by loved ones at Lord Hill Farms in Snohomish, Washington, USA, on November 17.

The actual reveal of bride Brianne Dennis,29,to David Hofffman,32 for the first time on their wedding day. Lord Hill Farms in Snohomish, Washington, USA, on November 17., 2018. See SWNS story SWNYlook.Hilarious photos show a groom in fits of laughter after he turned to look at his bride on their wedding day - and found his bearded best man standing there instead.David Hofmann, 32, was expecting to see his wife-to-be Brianne Dennis, 29, in her white gown, but she had traded places with their friend Timmy Horton, 37.Photographer Anna Morrison captured the moment David creased in hysterical laughter after seeing his bearded pal wearing a veil and squeezed into a dress. David, an electrician, said: "Right in that moment I was anxious. I was trying to calm my nerves because I was about to see my bride for the first time.
(Picture: Anna Morrison/SWNS.COM)

Brianne said: ‘When I look at the photos I’m really happy. I’m so glad we did it. It was hilarious.’

Photographer Anna, a close friend of the couple, added: ‘We made a forever memory and laughed so hard everyone was crying.’

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Amsterdam photographer creates incredible animal photography series

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(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Isabella Rozendaal is Amsterdam’s first official pet portraitist, and she’s created a stunning photo series of animals in the Dutch capital.

Isabella convinced the people at Amsterdam’s city archives that a significant portion of the city’s animals were being unfairly snubbed back in 2016.

She started photographing animals in 2006, and approached the archive authorities to allow grants to allow her to photograph more around Amsterdam.

She told The Guardian: ‘Pets are a huge part of Amsterdam’s population, but they were totally underrepresented. My plan was to photograph the pets.’

She wanted to take portraits of animals as individuals to ‘elevate them above their role as objects’. She also wanted to show the animals’ surroundings, things that would normally say a lot about humans.

The archives, which provide three photographic grants a year, agreed to Rozendaal’s proposal and she became Amsterdam’s pet portraitist.

She has since created a stunning portfolio of animal photography.

Here are a few of our favourites.

Six-year-old Barbur, an Afghan Hound

Babur (6-years-old), Afghan hound Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Two-year-old Dirkie, a Highland Fold

03: Dirkie (2-year-old), Highland fold Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Spekkie, a two-year-old miniature pig

05: Spekkie (2-years-old), miniature pig Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Kiwi, a six-year-old Lovebird

66: Kiwi (6-years-old), lovebird Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Two-year-old Benno, a Giant African Land Snail

22: Benno (2-years-old), giant African land snail Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

One-year-old Balou, an Old English Sheepdog

18: Balou (1-year-old), Old English sheepdog Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Joep, an English Mastiff

04: Joep (age unknown), English mastiff Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Wolfgang, a seven-year-old Persian cat

12: Wolfgang (7-years-old), Persian cat Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Pasha, a seven-year-old Parakeet

11: Pasha (7-years-old), parakeet Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Three-year-old Herman Frodiet, a Giant African Land Snail

85: Herman Frodiet (3-years-old), giant African land snail Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Fenek, a five-year-old Hollander-Dwarf mix

82: Fenek (5-years-old), Hollander-dwarf mix Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

One-year-old Teun

79: Teun (1-year-old), breed unknown Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Flap, a five-year-old Oriental Shorthair

73: Flap (5-years-old) Oriental shorthair Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Two-year-old Mus, a Maine Coon

57: Mus (2-year-old), Maine Coon Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Balou, a one-year-old French Lop

42: Balou (1-year-old), French lop Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Beest, a three-year-old Savannah cat

37: Beest (3-years-old), Savannah cat Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Beertje, Ciske, Pepper, Toitoi, Iggy (8 weeks), Chihuahuas

16: Beertje, Ciske, Pepper, Toitoi, Iggy (8 weeks), chihuahua Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Wilbur a one-year-old Call duck

02: Wilbur (1-year-old), call duck Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Lexi, an eight-month-old Patterjack

64: Lexi (8 months), patterjack Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

Buddha a four-year-old Sphynx cat

07: Buddha (4-years-old), sphynx cat Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits In 2016-2017, Isabella Rozendaal photographed over a hundred animals for her project Animalia Amsterdam, commissioned by the Amsterdam City Archive. The project was bundled in the book Animalia Amsterdam: Pet Portraits . Amsterdam???s daily newspaper Het Parool published Animalia as a weekly column, and has commissioned Rozendaal to continue the series, creating a new pet portrait every week. Although Amsterdam is home to thousands of companion animals, they have barely been visible in the city???s history. With Animalia Amsterdam, Rozendaal makes an effort to change this, because these Amsterdammers deserve to be seen. In her portraits, she always tries to reveal the human behind the animal by showing some of the pet???s surroundings.
(Picture: Isabella Rozendaal)

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The best Cyber Monday deals 2018 from The Ordinary, Yankee Candle and Lovehoney

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(Picture: Getty Images)

Today is Cyber Monday, which means the fun’s not over yet.

Up until midnight tonight you’ll still be able to shop and save across hundreds of brands and retailers from The Ordinary, Yankee Candle and Lovehoney.

So if you missed out on that great laptop deal, new pair of straighteners, upgraded phone or iPad: don’t worry. We’ve rounded up all the very best Cyber Monday deals that will have you sorted in seconds.

And don’t forget to bookmark this page to stay up-to-date with the latest offers, as we’re updating this page constantly as deals launch.

Beauty

Soap & Glory It’s In The Calendar! was £40 now £20

(Picture: Boots)

 

Benefit Cake POPS! Pretty & Pink Punch Pop! Gift Set, was £52 now £26 (50% off)

(Picture: Escentual)

 

THE ORDINARY Granactive Retinoid 2% Emulsion, was £8 now £3

(Picture: The Ordinary)

 

Jimmy Choo Flash Eau de Parfum, was £46 now £22.99 (save £23.01)

(Picture: theperfumeshop.com)

 

Save 30% off The Original ghd IV Styler, was £109 now £76.30

(Picture: ghd)

 

Technology

Apple Watch Series 3, GPS, 38mm Space Grey Aluminium Case with Sport Band, was £279 now £219 (save £60)

(Picture: John Lewis)

 

HP Pavilion 14-ce0518sa 14″ Intel® Core™ i3 Laptop – 128 GB SSD, Silver, was £599 now £399 (save £200)

(Picture: Currys PC World)

 

NINTENDO Switch Neon Red, was £279.99 now £249.99 (save £30)

(Picture: Currys PC World)

 

Apple iPhone XS, iOS, 5.8″, 4G LTE, SIM Free, 64GB, Space Grey, £949 (save £50)

(Picture: John Lewis)

 

APPLE 9.7″ iPad – 32 GB, Space Grey, was £319 now £299 (save £20)

(Picture: Currys PC World)

 

Fitbit Charge 2™, was £119.99 now £79.99 (save £40)

(Picture: Very.co.uk)

 

Home

Le Creuset Signature Cast Iron in Burgundy, was £315 now £271.71 (save 14%)

(Picture: Amazon)

 

FREDD Charcoal Upholstered Double Bed Frame, was £450 now £250

(Picture: Habitat)

 

Yankee Candle® Festive Cosmetic Bag Gift With Scented Large Jar Candle, Small Jar Candle, Votives And Tea Lights, was £59.99 now £59.99 (save £30)

(Picture: Very.co.uk)

 

Timpa Marble Side Table in White, was £124.95 now £74.95 (save £50)

(Picture: cuckooland.com)

 

Other

Lovehoney Best Sex of Your Life Couple’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar, was £125 now £87.50 (save £30)

(Picture: Lovehoney)

 

Premium Spa Day with Lunch or Afternoon Tea and Treatments for Two, was £200 now £135 (save 32%)

(Picture: buyagift.co.uk)

 

Boux Avenue Clara Robe was £30 now £18

(Picture: Boux Avenue)

The best Black Friday & Cyber Monday deals 2018

Looking to grab a bargain? Check out the below pages to find the best deals.


Cyber Monday deals on sportswear from Adidas, Nike and Decathlon

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(Picture: Ryan Edy/Getty)

Cyber Monday is offering one more chance for customers to make the most of the deals on offer with most sales set to end at midnight tonight.

thumbnail for post ID 8179981Melania Trump's red Christmas trees are compared to characters from The Handmaid's Tale

Many of the Black Friday deals carried on through the weekend but time is running out if their is a particular offer that you have your eye on.

Many sportswear retailers have had discounts on much of their clothing and fitness equipment and you still have a chance to claim the low prices.

Here is everything you need to know about the Cyber Monday deals that are being offered by various sportswear stores.

(Igor Emmerich/Getty)

Adidas are offering customers 30% when they use the code CM18 at checkout when ordering online, which means you could get great deals on over 5000 different products.

Nike are providing a similar offer for customers with 20% off selected products when you use the code CBM20 at checkout before midnight tonight.

Columbia Sportswear has offers on various items as well, offering 25% off on almost everything with the code BLACKFRIDAY18.

customers who order items from their online store today will also receive free shipping.

Amazon is currently offering 50% off on various under armour items include leggings, long-sleeve shirts and polo shirts.

The retailer is also offering discounts on excercise equipment such as jump rope and resistance bands.

Decathlon currently has a Cyber Monday that lets you save up to 75% on clothing and fitness equipment until midnight tonight.

The best Black Friday & Cyber Monday deals 2018

Looking to grab a bargain? Check out the below pages to find the best deals.

MORE: Here are the best Argos Cyber Monday deals that you can get today

MORE: The best Cyber Monday 2018 video game deals for the UK

Does having cool parents make your life more difficult?

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dealing with your partner's parents over Christmas?
You’re lucky that they’re boring. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Traditionally, we’re supposed to be embarrassed by our parents.

It’s a rite of passage to stomp around the house yelling that no-one understands you, because you’ve been asked to do something massively unreasonable like not take a bottle of vodka to your friends’s fifteen birthday party, or to wait until you’re 18 to get a massive tattoo.

But what happens when instead of you slamming doors and screaming about how unfair life is, you’re met with a raised eyebrow and an ‘I’ve done it all before – is that really all you’ve got?’ expression. What happens if your parents are actually really cool?

Zoe Kravtiz, daughter of Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet, opened up this week in an interview with Rolling Stone, saying: ‘When your mom and dad are both so cool but you’re not, I think maybe that’s where I get this idea that I’m really not cool. That has stuck with me for ever.’

Obviously if you’ve seen anything involving Zoe Kravitz you’ll know that she’s incredibly cool, but it does rather raise the question: what affect does growing up with incredibly cool parents have on your life?

My own parents weren’t cool per se when I was a child, because they didn’t really have time. These days my mother dresses better than anyone else I know, but with three kids under five, styling wasn’t high on the list of things to think about. I told her recently that I couldn’t remember her having a personality when I was a child, and she told me quite honestly that it was hard to really be yourself with so little time.

Curious about how super cool parents affect your childhood, I spoke to an acquaintance who has famous parents. She told me: ‘Honestly, it was s**t. Everything I did was predictable to them. I got caught smoking at school, they’d been to rehab. I wanted to go out wearing a short skirt, my mum had been photographed naked. Because they were so outgoing and exotic I had to be boring if I wanted to be different from them, so I played up to that stereotype instead. Everyone called me Saffy.’

The words ‘they called me Saffy’ seem to come up time and time again on this topic. ‘My mum was an air hostess on Concorde,’ Elle told me, ‘She’s cool and glam and only wears Dior. I was called Saffy during most of my teenage years because I berated her and her friends parties.’

Possibly worse than having an incredibly cool parent is having a parent who everyone fancies. ‘My parents are really good looking and young looking’ said Esther, who runs Bookcollective. ‘Rather than being proud I was mortified. Boys always fancied my mum and girls fancied my dad. It was major Simon from Inbetweeners style strops from me – a lot.’

Having a very beautiful mother is a common theme, something which guests on podcast My Beauty Full Life have highlighted over and over again. It doesn’t matter how attractive the person is, a stunning mother casts a long shadow to grow up in, especially if you’re less conventionally beautiful or slender than she is.

Family running in the sunshine
(Picture: Ella Byworth/ Shutterstock)

The common theme that came through in story after story about cool parents who threw huge parties, turned a blind eye to bad behaviour and dressed in incredible clothes, is that despite the fact that these mums and dads are objectively incredibly cool, their children are still embarrassed by them.

It doesn’t seem to matter whether your mum shames you by picking you up from school wearing Crocs and her pyjamas, or turning up in a vintage Jag, covered in diamonds. Anything that makes you stand out as a child can be panic inducing. It’s a complicated, stressful stage of your life when all you want is to be normal, and ideally exactly the same as everyone else around you.

All well and good to crave hyper normal parents who think that changing brand of fabric softner is excitement, but where does that leave the parents themselves? Just because you’ve got kids doesn’t mean you stop being a person. You don’t eject your sense of individuality with the placenta when you give birth.

Something I find deeply worrying as I move towards starting a family is the incompatibility of being a big personality and a great mother. All the parenting books agree that children thrive with structure, routine, safety and regularity. Things which are a lot harder to create when you’re a spontaneous, will o’the wisp type.

Does having children who feel safe and secure hinge on being able to suspend your own personality for several years? Or is it possible to be a cool parent, and create happy, balanced children.

Fellow Metro.co.uk writer Natalie Morris is the child of a bona fide Cool Parent, who also happens to be well balanced and feel good about her relationship with her Dad. She tells me:

‘My Dad was, and remains, pretty damn cool. He is younger than a lot of my friends’ dads, and always looked really young too, which instantly made him cooler. He is big in to his music – mostly hip hop – and he was a DJ in clubs in the 80s, so I owe my music taste to him and have vivid memories of him playing me the un-bleeped versions of all his favourites whenever my mum was out.

‘Having a cool dad has meant that now, as an adult, he’s one of my best mates – which I don’t think a lot of my friends could say about their dads. It’s meant that I’ve always felt able to talk to him about anything – boys, partying, drugs – things that are generally off-limits for uncool dads. It made me feel like I had more freedom when I was growing up, and it definitely made us closer.’

So even if coolness does drive a wedge during the teenage years, it’s entirely possible that it will underpin a tight bond when you reach adulthood.

On the upside, it’s entirely possible that those of us concerned about being cool parents shouldn’t actually worry, because we’re no-where near as cool as we think we are.

I mentioned the concern to a close friend, who told me, ‘I wouldn’t lose any sleep over being a cool mum, babe. It’s really not something you’re going to have to worry about.’

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This 29-year-old with stage four lung cancer says fitness has transformed her life

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(Picture: Saima Thompson/Metro.co.uk)

In April this year, Saima Thompson was diagnosed with stage four non small cell lung cancer. She was 29-years-old.

It was an horrific bolt from the blue and a testament to the indiscriminate brutality of this unforgiving disease.

The young, successful business woman, owner of a vibrant Pakistani restaurant in south London, was suddenly staring down the barrel of a gun. Her life turned upside down.

So what on earth do you do in the face of such catastrophic news? Saima says that whatever her future held for her, she was determined to live.

(Picture: Saima Thompson/Metro.co.uk)

‘I was shell-shocked more than anything. It was absolutely the last thing I expected to hear,’ Saima tells Metro.co.uk.

‘I hadn’t been well, I was experiencing upper back pain and swelling in my chest… but you never think it could be that.

‘It’s incurable, it’s stage four, the survival statistics aren’t good – I know all of this. Sometimes I wish I didn’t, but I do.’

She faced her fair share of anxiety. As she details in her blog, in the initial months post-diagnosis she experienced the first panic attacks of her life, even ending up in A&E after passing out at 4am.

Rather than melt into fear and despondency, Saima took matters into her own hands. She married the love of her life and started on a journey to reclaim her body and mental wellbeing.

‘I think now, I’ve come to terms with my mortality,’ explains Saima.

‘It’s definitely easier now. It isn’t perfect, I’m still working on things – but now, I can live with it. I’ve made more sense of it, and I feel more on top of it now.

‘I’m not some sort of guru, or higher being – I’m still human. But I have found my strategies to make living with this knowledge bearable.’

A key strategy is fitness. Working out has become a huge passion of Saima’s. Since her diagnosis she has been working with a personal trainer, who also happens to be a close friend, on building her strength and endurance.

There is a preconception that people with stage four cancer will be weak, frail, confined to bed-rest, unable to live their lives.

Saima wants to redefine what it means to live with cancer, and prove that that there is still joy to be found in life.

‘I started exercising within six weeks of getting the diagnosis,’ Saima tells us.

‘For me – it was all about starting small, I was just so lucky I had a friend who was a PT – she really helped me to ease in to the situation.

‘I just took it very slowly – short bursts initially. When I first got the diagnosis, I really wasn’t very well – as you can imagine – so I knew I had to be gentle and ease my body into it.

‘First and foremost was walking. You know, you’ve just got to keep moving. And then from there it was slow, but I started to just build it up bit by bit.

‘Now I’m physically fitter, and my anxiety has actually improved, and I put that down to exercise – that was a massive factor. I’ve also been meditating, seeing the doctor and having psychological therapy as well.

‘But exercise has absolutely been the biggest factor in that.’

Saima’s close friend and performance coach, Lizzie Fluke, rose to the challenge of becoming her PT.

Lizzie says the results she’s seen in Saima have been astounding.

‘Saima’s cardiovascular fitness has improved dramatically, her heart rate is much lower at resting and during exercise, she is much stronger, her coordination, focus and concentration have all improved,’ Lizzie tells us.

‘Her strength levels are so much better, she is weightlifting, and is progressing her skills every week. Saima used to do this kind of training with me and it’s great that we have returned to it, psychologically it’s a boost and physically.

‘It means that she is getting her body back to where she was pre-diagnosis. Her strength and muscle endurance improvements meant that she was even able to try a half-day back working at her restaurant.

‘She now has the endurance and strength to do more of what she loves – which is making food – and that’s fantastic.

(Picture: Saima Thompson/Metro.co.uk)

‘When we first started training, the side affects of the chemo pill and medications for anxiety affected Saima’s coordination and muscle control.

‘It would have been a huge mistake for Saima not to have started exercising right after her diagnosis – and I’m so proud of her progress so far.’

Exercising with cancer

The Clinical Oncology Society of Australia state that being physically active and exercising regularly are important for the health, function, quality of life and, potentially, survival of people with cancer; most people with cancer do not meet exercise recommendations.

Exercise can improve physical function, including aerobic fitness, muscular strength and functional ability, cancer-related fatigue, alleviating psychological distress and improving quality of life across multiple general health and cancer-specific domains. It may mean that individuals can get back to work or get back to routines pre-diagnosis.

‘Exercise recommendations should be tailored to the individual’s abilities, specific exercise adaptations may be required for people with cancer based on the disease.

‘For example, Saima had cancer in her small bones, so for impact I would need to be careful. After her scans revealed the cancer in her small bone could no longer be seen, I could include weight training.

‘I had to adjust rest periods, ensuring Saima had enough due to treatment-related adverse effects. Exercise will depend on how the cancer changes over time and individual health status.

‘For example, if you have stomach or other digestive system cancers or cancer that has spread to the bone, it is advised you shouldn’t do heavy weight training.’

Lizzie Fluke, performance coach

Medical experts recommend that cancer patients should return to exercise and normal daily activities as soon as possible after diagnosis.

They say keeping fit can reduce tiredness, improve strength, endurance, flexibility – as well as boosting mood and alleviating anxiety and depression.

Lizzie agrees.

‘It’s about finding the right amount of physical activity that is right for you,’ she explains.

‘It really helps to find something you enjoy. Increasing your daily activities may just mean light house work, walking, light gardening, these are all part of the wider physical activity picture. It all counts whether its five or 10 minutes of activity or more than 30 minutes.

‘Exercise plays a crucial part of improving outcomes, but it’s part of a wider picture of medical and psychological expertise. I referred Saima to an experienced and qualified senior therapist, who was extremely experienced in the area of chronic illness, anxiety and PTSD.

‘The psychological effects of cancer create debilitating physical symptoms. Psychological intervention along with exercise is important. I work as part of a team supporting Saima to ensure the best outcomes for her.’

For Saima, exercise grants her some control. When illness threatens to take your life, it’s easy to feel helpless and isolated. By focusing her energies on doing something positive and active, Saima is able to to reclaim some authority over her own body.

‘Since I’ve started exercising I’ve seen so many amazing, physical results,’ Saima tells us.

‘My muscle-tone has come back. I feel a lot stronger in myself. And it has really helped me to regulate my nervous system, particularly at points of panic.

‘It has just transformed everything to be honest. Exercising makes me eat better, sleep better – it’s the whole picture.

‘The point of all of this is living well today. That’s my focus. I think a lot of cancer patients can feel a bit like down and out about their situation – which is understandable. They go through such a blow when they’re told this horrifying news, but what I really want to get across is that you can live well with it – it’s not the end of all things, immediately.’

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Menopause at 17: How I came to terms with finding out I couldn’t have children as a teenager

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(Picture: Lauren Cox)

Lauren was just a teenager when she realised something was wrong.

Unlike the rest of her friends, she’d never had a period.

‘It was a massive source of anxiety for me. I worried that I wasn’t actually female.

‘It’s a weird thing to say but I started to think people were just telling me they were having periods to wind me up. I became really paranoid about it,’ she tells Metro.co.uk.

‘I thought I was just a late developer. I never imagined it would be something that would have such a big impact on my life.’

After two years of trips back and forth to her doctor, Lauren was told she was going through the menopause at just 17.

The condition – known as Premature Ovarian Failure (POF) – could cause a variety of conditions but for Lauren, now 26, the most devastating thing was being told that she would probably never have a child of her own.

She explains: ‘They said that as my ovaries weren’t responsinding andthere was a very very slim chance I would conceive.

‘I was told I would probably have to have an egg donor in the future.

(Picture: Lauren Cox)

‘You have an idea in your head at that age of how your life is going to pan out. You expect to be 25 with a good job a house and starting a family. It threw all of that into disarray.

‘People expect that women will have children and when you can’t do that, you question your whole purpose.

‘At that age, it was not in my mind for the near future but being told that it probably would never happen made it all I could think about.

‘I felt like it had taken away my bodily autonomy. I couldn’t make the decision about children for myself.’

The admin assistant from Wolverhampton went to the doctor at 15 as she worried she wasn’t like her friends.

Initially, her doctor told her that it was nothing to worry about as she was still young.

But at 17, when she still hadn’t started menstruating, she was referred to a gynecologist.

After an examination and blood tests, she was diagnosed with POF.

(Picture: Lauren Cox)

As she was menopausal, she was put on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) – something usually given to women in their forties and fifties.

She says: ‘Luckily I didn’t have too many symptoms, other than being a bit hot sometimes.’

As she got older, Lauren started to come to terms with her diagnosis but admits it will impact her for the rest of her life.

She has suffered with some physical symptoms such as mild osetoperosis but for her, the biggest problem has been the impact it has had on her mental health.

She says: ‘I have suffered with depression and anxiety for about eight years now and now being able to have a family is part of that. It’s so draining being told that young.’

Lauren has struggled seeing friends who are around the same age starting to have children.

What is Premature Ovarian Failure?

Early menopause can happen naturally if a woman’s ovaries stop making normal levels of certain hormones, particularly the hormone oestrogen.

This is sometimes called premature ovarian failure, or primary ovarian insufficiency.

The cause of premature ovarian failure is often unknown, but in some women it may be caused by:

  • chromosome abnormalities – such as in women with Turner syndrome
  • an autoimmune disease – where the immune system starts attacking body tissues
  • certain infections, such as tuberculosismalaria and mumps – but this is very rare

Premature ovarian failure can sometimes run in families. This might be the case if any of your relatives went through the menopause at a very young age (20s or early 30s).

NHS

‘I didn’t realise how sad it would make me. Now that my friends have started having children, I find myself distancing myself from them.

‘It’s not because of anything they have done and I don’t mean to but it’s hard seeing what I could have had.

‘I was invited to a friend’s baby shower but I broke down on the way there. I don’t want to upset them but it is difficult for me to come to terms with.’

She has also found talking about her condition to be difficult as she believes there is still a stigma around infertility.

She says: ‘I know some people have strong opinions about IVF and making babies that way.

‘Some people say you are playing God. I do wish we were more open to talking about fertility issues.

‘I think there are lots of people who suffer in silence.

(Picture: Lauren Cox)

‘I read a lot of things online about people with fertility problems and I often see nasty comments that really upset me.

‘Things like ‘It’s god’s will’ or ‘it’s natural selection’.

‘I hate when people say that I should adopt because it makes it sound like something that’s just for people who are infertile – you wouldn’t say that to a couple who can have children.

‘They say things like having IVF is selfish but fertile people can adopt too.

‘It’s just very difficult to talk about it.’

However, Lauren and her partner, who she has been with for nearly six years, hope that someday she will have a child using an egg donor.

‘We have talked about IVF but we’re not in any rush just yet. We know we do want children but it is a difficult process and we want to be prepared for that,’ she says.

Fertility Month

This story is part of Fertility Month, a month-long series covering all aspects of fertility.

For the next four weeks, we will be speaking to people at all stages of the fertility journey as well as doctors, lawyers and fertility experts who can shed light on the most important issues.

If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, please do get in touch at fertilitystories@metro.co.uk.

Here is a selection of the stories from Fertility Month so far - and you can find all Fertility Month content here.

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Half of lonely people worry something bad will happen and no one will notice

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(Picture: Ella Byworth/ Getty)

The British Red Cross has found that over half of lonely adults living in the UK fear that no one would notice if something bad happened to them.

Around nine million people in the UK describe themselves as lonely, and say that they struggle to form meaningful connections with other people.

The study looked at 4,000 people, asking them about their levels of loneliness and their concerns.

53% of respondents said they feared that no one would notice if something bad happened to them.

One in nine people said they didn’t feel they had anyone in their life who they could rely on during a crisis.

Two thirds of people who took the survey said that they feel lonely even when surrounded by people, and one third said that they didn’t know how to cope with being lonely.

Zoë Abrams, executive director of Communications and Advocacy at British Red Cross, explains the importance of forging close connections with others. ‘Loneliness and social isolation doesn’t discriminate,” she explains. ‘Life circumstances can change in the blink of an eye, meaning it can happen to anyone, no matter your age or background.

‘We all need someone to turn to in a crisis, but the findings of our research suggest that there are many people in our communities feeling they lack meaningful, human connections.’

Elderly people are especially at risk of experiencing loneliness.

If you want to help lonely people, you can contact the Campaign to End Lonliness and find out how you can help.

If you’re feeling lonely and struggling to cope, you should speak to The Samaritans. 

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