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The internet is very confused by Calvin Klein’s new inside out jumpers

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(Picture: Triangle News)

Remember in Freaky Friday when Lindsay Lohan’s character Anna wore her tee inside out because she was wearing the same one as another student?

Well, Calvin Klein has just released a new jumper just like that – but it costs £1,700.

The baby blue knitted jumper features the popular Looney Tunes character Wile E Coyote, but it’s been designed to look as though it’s inside out, with all the threading on the outside.

The cartoon jumper is on sale on the Calvin Klein website for £1,705 and is described as a ‘pullover jumper, with a reverse intarsia hand-knit Wile E. Coyote graphic.’

Surprisingly, the jumper is low on stock with only one size left to purchase.

- Picture of the inside out jumpers sold by Calvin Klein for ?1,700. Image screenshot from calvinklein.co.uk TRIANGLE NEWS 0203 176 5587 // contact@trianglenews.co.uk By Niamh Cavanagh Designer label Calvin Klein has caused a stir online by selling a ?1,700 jumper that looks like it?s INSIDE OUT. The baby blue knitted pullover featuring the popular Looney Tunes' character Wile E Coyote has been designed to look like it?s been put on the wrong way. The cartoon jumper is on sale the Calvin Klein website for ?1705 and is described as a ?pullover jumper, with a reverse intarsia hand-knit Wile E. Coyote graphic.? *TRIANGLE NEWS DOES NOT CLAIM ANY COPYRIGHT OR LICENSE IN THE ATTACHED MATERIAL. ANY DOWNLOADING FEES CHARGED BY TRIANGLE NEWS ARE FOR TRIANGLE NEWS SERVICES ONLY, AND DO NOT, NOR ARE THEY INTENDED TO, CONVEY TO THE USER ANY COPYRIGHT OR LICENSE IN THE MATERIAL. BY PUBLISHING THIS MATERIAL , THE USER EXPRESSLY AGREES TO INDEMNIFY AND TO HOLD TRIANGLE NEWS HARMLESS FROM ANY CLAIMS, DEMANDS, OR CAUSES OF ACTION ARISING OUT OF OR CONNECTED IN ANY WAY WITH USER'S PUBLICATION OF THE MATERIAL*
(Picture: Niamh Cavanagh/Triangle News/Calvin Klein)

Calvin Klein has also designed the reverse jumper with Wile E Coyote’s Looney Tunes’ sidekick Road Runner.

Shoppers on social media have called out the brand for selling the item of clothing.

One Twitter user posted a picture of the topsy turvy jumper online with the caption: ‘Wile E Coyote: A study in the male humiliation through the works of Calvin Klein.’

Another said: ‘Calvin Klein Fall 2018 fashion show is a joke or what??? What kind of clothing is that!! It seems like they have worn clothes inside-out!!!’

A photo of the jumper was also posted to a Facebook group by Mick Priestley with the caption: ‘Horrible inside-out Wile E. Coyote jumper by Calvin Klein’.

- Picture of the inside out jumpers sold by Calvin Klein for ?1,700. Showing a tweet reacting to jumper TRIANGLE NEWS 0203 176 5587 // contact@trianglenews.co.uk By Niamh Cavanagh Designer label Calvin Klein has caused a stir online by selling a ?1,700 jumper that looks like it?s INSIDE OUT. The baby blue knitted pullover featuring the popular Looney Tunes' character Wile E Coyote has been designed to look like it?s been put on the wrong way. The cartoon jumper is on sale the Calvin Klein website for ?1705 and is described as a ?pullover jumper, with a reverse intarsia hand-knit Wile E. Coyote graphic.? *TRIANGLE NEWS DOES NOT CLAIM ANY COPYRIGHT OR LICENSE IN THE ATTACHED MATERIAL. ANY DOWNLOADING FEES CHARGED BY TRIANGLE NEWS ARE FOR TRIANGLE NEWS SERVICES ONLY, AND DO NOT, NOR ARE THEY INTENDED TO, CONVEY TO THE USER ANY COPYRIGHT OR LICENSE IN THE MATERIAL. BY PUBLISHING THIS MATERIAL , THE USER EXPRESSLY AGREES TO INDEMNIFY AND TO HOLD TRIANGLE NEWS HARMLESS FROM ANY CLAIMS, DEMANDS, OR CAUSES OF ACTION ARISING OUT OF OR CONNECTED IN ANY WAY WITH USER'S PUBLICATION OF THE MATERIAL*
(Picture: Niamh Cavanagh/Triangle News/Calvin Klein)

Plenty of Facebook users commented underneath the post with both hilarity and bemusement.

Phil Graham said: ‘Looks like a month-old roadkill.’

Susie Wadey said: ‘Sorry but is “reverse intarsia” Latin for shite?’

Michael De Luca said: ‘Sh*t, we’ve made a whole batch of these inside out. What shall we do with them? Primark won’t have them in this state.’

- Picture of the inside out jumpers sold by Calvin Klein for ?1,700. Image screenshot from calvinklein.co.uk TRIANGLE NEWS 0203 176 5587 // contact@trianglenews.co.uk By Niamh Cavanagh Designer label Calvin Klein has caused a stir online by selling a ?1,700 jumper that looks like it?s INSIDE OUT. The baby blue knitted pullover featuring the popular Looney Tunes' character Wile E Coyote has been designed to look like it?s been put on the wrong way. The cartoon jumper is on sale the Calvin Klein website for ?1705 and is described as a ?pullover jumper, with a reverse intarsia hand-knit Wile E. Coyote graphic.? *TRIANGLE NEWS DOES NOT CLAIM ANY COPYRIGHT OR LICENSE IN THE ATTACHED MATERIAL. ANY DOWNLOADING FEES CHARGED BY TRIANGLE NEWS ARE FOR TRIANGLE NEWS SERVICES ONLY, AND DO NOT, NOR ARE THEY INTENDED TO, CONVEY TO THE USER ANY COPYRIGHT OR LICENSE IN THE MATERIAL. BY PUBLISHING THIS MATERIAL , THE USER EXPRESSLY AGREES TO INDEMNIFY AND TO HOLD TRIANGLE NEWS HARMLESS FROM ANY CLAIMS, DEMANDS, OR CAUSES OF ACTION ARISING OUT OF OR CONNECTED IN ANY WAY WITH USER'S PUBLICATION OF THE MATERIAL*
(Picture: Niamh Cavanagh/Triangle News/Calvin Klein)

One woman had the right idea about how to easily fix the problem of the inside-out mishap.

Jacqueline Savickas said: ‘Turn it inside out.’

Back in September 2017, Calvin Klein released the ‘Cheerleader Jumper’ which was a see-through top with knitted sleeves on sale for £1,471.

The jumper caused outrage on online, with some people criticising the designer label for producing something that ‘can literally be made at home’ and others writing on Twitter that ‘we’ve lost the plot.’

Calvin Klein has been contacted for comment.

MORE: The best Cyber Monday fashion deals at Topshop, Asos, H&M, New Look, Boohoo, Missguided and more

MORE: The way we viciously rip apart how people spend their money is proof we need to talk about finances


Transgender 14-year-old leaves note to tell parents he’s transitioning overnight

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Pic by Simon Jacobs/Caters News - (Pictured: 24/11/2018 Orpington, UK. Lisa Parsons and teenage son, Josh, who has recently transitioned from female to male [formally known as Sarah] after writing a note that explained he wanted to change gender.) - A schoolgirl has transformed into a boy overnight after leaving a note for his parents to say hes now to be known as Josh. Josh Parsons, 14 - formally known as Sarah - told his mum, Lisa, 41, and step-dad, Darren Nickolson, 41, in a note that he had changed his name and gender. And despite the initial shock, his parents fully supported his decision and Josh ditched all of his female clothes the next day and quickly told his peers at school about his transition. After shaving his head and changing his bedroom into a masculine style, Josh is now happier than ever with his newfound gender. His mum, Lisa, couldnt be more proud of her new son and claims she always thought he was different to his three older sisters.The family have embraced Joshs physical change and have stated they will pay for surgery when hes 16 years old.Josh - who has been transitioning since April this year - is now on the waiting list for NHS hormone treatments.SEE CATERS COPY.
(Picture: Simon Jacobs/Caters News)
A schoolgirl transformed into a boy overnight after leaving a note for his parents to say he’s now to be known as Josh.

14-year-old Josh Parsons, formally known as Sarah, told his mum, Lisa, and step-dad, Darren Nickolson, both 41, in a note that he had changed his name and gender.

Though his family were initially shocked, they supported his decision and helped Josh get rid of all of his female clothes.

Josh shaved his head and changed his bedroom, and is much happier as a boy.

Pic by Simon Jacobs/Caters News - (Pictured: 24/11/2018 Orpington, UK. Lisa Parsons and teenage son, Josh, who has recently transitioned from female to male [formally known as Sarah] after writing a note that explained he wanted to change gender.) - A schoolgirl has transformed into a boy overnight after leaving a note for his parents to say hes now to be known as Josh. Josh Parsons, 14 - formally known as Sarah - told his mum, Lisa, 41, and step-dad, Darren Nickolson, 41, in a note that he had changed his name and gender. And despite the initial shock, his parents fully supported his decision and Josh ditched all of his female clothes the next day and quickly told his peers at school about his transition. After shaving his head and changing his bedroom into a masculine style, Josh is now happier than ever with his newfound gender. His mum, Lisa, couldnt be more proud of her new son and claims she always thought he was different to his three older sisters.The family have embraced Joshs physical change and have stated they will pay for surgery when hes 16 years old.Josh - who has been transitioning since April this year - is now on the waiting list for NHS hormone treatments.SEE CATERS COPY.
Josh as Sarah (Picture: Simon Jacobs/Caters News)
His mum, Lisa, couldn’t be more proud of her son and claims she always thought he was different to his three older sisters.

The family have embraced Josh’s physical change and have stated they will pay for surgery when he’s 16 years old.

Josh – who has been transitioning since April this year – is now on the waiting list for NHS hormone treatments.

Lisa, a logistics driver, from Orpington, London, said: ‘I accepted that my daughter wanted to be a boy straight away.

Pic from Caters News - (Pictured: Collects of Josh Parsons, 14 - formally known as Sarah. Before his transition) - A schoolgirl has transformed into a boy overnight after leaving a note for his parents to say hes now to be known as Josh. Josh Parsons, 14 - formally known as Sarah - told his mum, Lisa, 41, and step-dad, Darren Nickolson, 41, in a note that he had changed his name and gender. SEE CATERS COPY.
(Picture: Caters News)

‘Josh who was then called Sarah left us a note saying that loved us but wanted to be known as Josh from now on.

‘And from that moment his life as Sarah ended and ever since April we have been addressing Josh as a male.

‘He has shaved his head and is happier than I’ve ever seen him.

‘Josh also told his school that he wanted to change his gender and we’ve supported him ever since.

‘I think it’s important for children to be able to discuss their issues and Josh was always different to his older sisters.

Pic by Simon Jacobs/Caters News - (Pictured: 24/11/2018 Orpington, UK. Lisa Parsons and teenage son, Josh, who has recently transitioned from female to male [formally known as Sarah] after writing a note that explained he wanted to change gender.) - A schoolgirl has transformed into a boy overnight after leaving a note for his parents to say hes now to be known as Josh. Josh Parsons, 14 - formally known as Sarah - told his mum, Lisa, 41, and step-dad, Darren Nickolson, 41, in a note that he had changed his name and gender. And despite the initial shock, his parents fully supported his decision and Josh ditched all of his female clothes the next day and quickly told his peers at school about his transition. After shaving his head and changing his bedroom into a masculine style, Josh is now happier than ever with his newfound gender. His mum, Lisa, couldnt be more proud of her new son and claims she always thought he was different to his three older sisters.The family have embraced Joshs physical change and have stated they will pay for surgery when hes 16 years old.Josh - who has been transitioning since April this year - is now on the waiting list for NHS hormone treatments.SEE CATERS COPY.
(Picture: Simon Jacobs/Caters News)
‘We’ve since changed his bedroom into a graffiti art wall instead of it being purple and girly and have since got rid of all of his dresses.’

Josh now dresses as a boy for school and is exciting to start his hormone treatment.

Lisa added: ‘There’s a 14 month waiting list before hormone treatment can start.

‘It’s a long waiting list and Josh is already hating the changes in his body.

‘He has quite big boobs which is something that embarrasses him and he hates having boobs.

Pic by Simon Jacobs/Caters News - (Pictured: 24/11/2018 Orpington, UK. Lisa Parsons and teenage son, Josh, who has recently transitioned from female to male [formally known as Sarah] after writing a note that explained he wanted to change gender.) - A schoolgirl has transformed into a boy overnight after leaving a note for his parents to say hes now to be known as Josh. Josh Parsons, 14 - formally known as Sarah - told his mum, Lisa, 41, and step-dad, Darren Nickolson, 41, in a note that he had changed his name and gender. And despite the initial shock, his parents fully supported his decision and Josh ditched all of his female clothes the next day and quickly told his peers at school about his transition. After shaving his head and changing his bedroom into a masculine style, Josh is now happier than ever with his newfound gender. His mum, Lisa, couldnt be more proud of her new son and claims she always thought he was different to his three older sisters.The family have embraced Joshs physical change and have stated they will pay for surgery when hes 16 years old.Josh - who has been transitioning since April this year - is now on the waiting list for NHS hormone treatments.SEE CATERS COPY.
(Picture: Simon Jacobs/Caters News)
‘In two years he will be eligible to have a mastectomy if he wants to and if he can’t have it on the NHS, I will pay for it myself.

‘Josh has always been more into boys toys than girls and even when I was pregnant I felt different with him than my other girls.

‘As long as Josh is happy being male then we’re happy to support him every step of the way.’

Despite now adopting a male appearance by shaving his head and wearing male clothes, Josh has been subjected to some cruel taunts.

Lisa added: ‘He was told on the bus by a group of kids that he looked like a girl still which upset him but he soon gets over it.

‘It makes him over the moon when someone refers to him as ‘young lad’ or ‘sir’ when we’re eating out.

Pic from Caters News - (Pictured: Collects of Josh Parsons, 14 - formally known as Sarah) - A schoolgirl has transformed into a boy overnight after leaving a note for his parents to say hes now to be known as Josh. Josh Parsons, 14 - formally known as Sarah - told his mum, Lisa, 41, and step-dad, Darren Nickolson, 41, in a note that he had changed his name and gender. SEE CATERS COPY.
(Picture: Caters News)

‘Also, now that he looks male, he’s able to use the men’s toilets without being questioned.

‘At the moment Josh seems keen to have surgery to lose his feminine features but as he’s only young we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

‘It’s strange because he already looks like he has an Adams apple.

‘I hope other parents read our story and realise that despite it being a shock when your child says they’re transgender that the most important thing is to support them.’

Josh said: ‘I feel much happier now everyone knows that I’m transgender.

‘I will be looking at getting a binder to shrink my chest and to start hormones in the next few months.’

MORE: Trans man to become woman again after saying sex change was a ‘mistake’

MORE: Newly married grooms perform the best choreography for their first dance together

Women deserve to have positive c-sections – here’s how

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**ILLUSTRATION REQUEST**Why is there still such a stigma about having a c-section? (Georgina Fuller)
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

There is more stigma about becoming mother than almost anything else on earth.

So it’s fitting that the method you choose to become a mother is subject to scrutiny. If you use painkillers you’re not doing it ‘naturally’. If you don’t use them you’ve got to keep quiet about it, because otherwise you’re a martyr.

Possibly the most judged way to give birth is the c-section, an operation in which an incision is made and the baby is removed from the mother’s uterus. You might think that having your lower body sliced open sounds quite tough, but in spite of that, it has been dubbed the ‘easy’ way out, and the fact that one in four mothers in the UK have a section is sometimes held up as an example of laziness or lack of preparation.

There is no wrong way to give birth, as long as the mother’s wishes are respected and both the mother and baby come out of the experience with minimal distress and damage. There are numerous reasons why a woman might give birth via a c-section, from a traumatic previous birth to sexual abuse or the baby being breach.

Much of the advice to women about having a ‘natural’ birth excludes the idea of a c-section. But for some women, vaginal birth isn’t an option.

Clare Coggin has written a booked titled ‘Why Caesarean matters’ a book about how to have a positive section. We spoke to Clare about how best to approach a caesarean in a positive way.

How to have a positive c-section

Ask questions: The first step in having a positive caesarean birth is feeling confident that giving birth this way is the right decision for you – based on your individual circumstances and preferences. To do this, we need meaningful conversations with our caregivers, where we explore the advantages and disadvantages of any recommendation, and possible alternatives.

If a caesarean is unplanned (and the decision is made in labour), this can be more complex, which is why having someone to advocate for you can be so beneficial (whether this is a birth partner, a doula or your midwife).

Write a c-section birth plan: We have more options to consider in caesarean birth than many of us realise. For example, you may want to talk to your caregivers about skin-to-skin in theatre, taking photos, dimming the lights, using homemade cord ties, and lowering the surgical drape so we can witness the birth.

Line-up post-natal support: Caesarean birth is major surgery. It is probably the only major surgery, where the ‘patient’ is expected to take responsibility for the nourishment of another completely dependent human being immediately afterwards!

With this in mind try to line up as much help and support as you can, even if you are planning a straightforward vaginal birth. Some women arrange for trusted friends or family members to stay in the early days or weeks, others try to maximise their partner’s annual leave or hire a doula to fill any gaps.

Remember, you are entitled to a c-section on the NHS if you feel that it’s the best choice for you and your baby. Your doctor may not advise it, as the recovery time is generally longer, and the NHS policy is to encourage vaginal birth, but if you know what you want then you should be listened to.

It may also be that you’re offered counselling and mental health support during your pregnancy to help you deal with any fear of a vaginal birth.

Why Caesarean Matters by Clare Goggin is published by Pinter & Martin, £8.99

Fertility Month

This story is part of Fertility Month, a month-long series covering all aspects of fertility.

For the next four weeks, we will be speaking to people at all stages of the fertility journey as well as doctors, lawyers and fertility experts who can shed light on the most important issues.

If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, please do get in touch at fertilitystories@metro.co.uk.

Here is a selection of the stories from Fertility Month so far - and you can find all Fertility Month content here.

MORE: Fertility Month: Why we are talking about fertility this month

MORE: I found the perfect sperm donor - but I never got my happy ending

MORE: Plastic could be affecting your fertility – here’s how and why

MORE: How hard is it to get pregnant if you have polycystic ovary syndrome?

MORE: How to get super sperm like the Danish Vikings

MORE: What it's like to have an eating disorder while you're pregnant

MORE: Can you get over not having children when you really wanted to have children?

The eco-friendly guide to Christmas gift wrap

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Christmas, New Year concept table top flat lay on wooden background. Woman wearing yellow mustard cardigan wrapping gifts. Wrapping paper, jute string, gift box, Christmas ornament, pine cones and firethorn branches on wooden background.
Eco-friendly gift wrap can look really chic (Picture: Getty)

Last year it was estimated that Brits would throw out 108 million rolls of Christmas wrapping paper.

That’s a lot of waste.

Even the most well-intentioned of us may be unaware that the wrap we put in recycling isn’t actually recyclable, if it contains plastic, dye, foil, glitter or leftover sticky tape.

Most of us aren’t prepared to hand people unwrapped gifts – where’s the joy in that? – so thankfully there are eco-friendly wrapping routes we can take.

Handly, most of them are so chic they’ll make it look like Pinterest threw up under your tree.

Recycled brown paper

A Christmas gift wrapped in recycled brown paper, decorated with christmas tree stamps
Get crafty and make brown paper your own (Picture: Getty)

Brown paper is one of your cheapest options, and yet has the most potential to look impressive – you just have to get crafty (see eco decoration ideas at the end of the article).

You can get recycled brown paper at your local Post Office – WHSmith does 12 metres for £3.99.

Limited budget/don’t have time to mess about with ribbons and foliage? Make it your own with wooden stamps like this set from Hobbycraft (£10 for 13). Stampin’ Up also has a lot of options, but are a bit pricier.

Go DIY with old fabric

Instagram Photo

Got old Christmas tablecloths lying around the house? Christmas tea towels? Feel like making the most of the kitsch Christmas patterns in your local fabric shop?

Wrap your presents in it!

Secure it by tying a knot as a bow, or by using eco twine (see end of article) or cut-up fabric as ribbon.

Just ensure you get the fabric back to use again if the recipient doesn’t plan to use it.

Reusable fabric gift bags/bottle bags

Wrag Wrag reusable Christmas gift bags
You can buy reusable fabric gift bags for ease (Picture: Wrag Wrap)

Gift bags and bottle bags are such a waste – as soon as the gift’s been taken out, they’re usually chucked in the rubbish.

Did you know you can buy reusable fabric versions?

Wrag Wrap sells a Christmas gift bag starter pack, featuring a small, medium and large gift bag, and a bottle bag, for £15.25.

The bag conceal gifts better than normal gift bags, as they have a pull cord.

Sure, they’re expensive, but they’re made from 45% recycled fabric, and the company promises that they’re durable enough to last a lifetime.

You just need to make sure you gift them to someone who’ll actualy re-use them.

Use magazines or newspaper

Instagram Photo

Chances are, you’ve got some old newspaper or magazines lying around the house – instead of chucking these straight in your recycling bin, why not give them a detour? A new life as giftwrap?

Obviously make sure the stories printed in the publication are, er, appropriate.

Regular wrap – make sure it’s recycled and recyclable

If you’re not into any of the above options, and simpy want a more eco version of your usual minimal effort wrapping paper, then all is not lost.

All you have to do is make sure your giftwrap is recycled, and that it’s recyclable.

This Sophia Victoria Joy recycled, screenprinted wrap from Not On The High Street comes in two different festive designs, and you buy it by the sheet, starting at £1.10.

Oxfam’s fair trade gift wrap is handmade in Nepal from recycled cotton & agricultural waste paper, and costs £3.49 for two sheets and two matching tags.

This handmade star print paper from Happy Wrap is made from the bark of the Lokta shrub found in the Himalayas, printed with natural dyes. From £3.25.

Obviously the above options are quite expensive and unless you’re made of money, they’re not likely to be an option for those who have a million kids’ presents to wrap.

So, if all else fails – at least make sure the wrap you use is fully recyclable, if it’s not made from recycled content itself.

Wilko does a 10 metre roll of kids Christmas elf paper for £2, and it can be recycled.

Reuse old wrapping paper and gift bags

My mum used to laboriously pick off the sellotape from gifts and save the wrapping paper to use again. As a child, I thought she’d lost her mind but now, I see where she was coming from.

Keep a stash of old wrapping paper and gift/bottle bags, and save up ribbons and bows from gifts throughout the year.

They can cost a lot of money as well as the earth, so you may as well make the most of them!

Don’t forget your decorations

Instagram Photo

Shun the landfill fodder that is regular plastic ribbon – jazz it up with environmentally-friendly twine instead. Honestly, it looks super twee.

Eco-Craft does a wide selection of colourful, natural and biodegradable twine, starting from £1.99.

You can even make bows and ribbon out of old newspaper – check out the below post from Low Key Low Waste.

Instagram Photo

Go full-on Pinterest by using cinnamon and foraged pine cones/foliage.

If you’re using brown paper, forget gift tags and simply write your message directly on the paper, or make gift tags out of scrap card.

Plastic sticky tape can’t be recycled, so use an eco version like this paper packing tape (£3.54 for 50m) from The Green Stationery Company, that’s made from recycled brown paper and is biodegradable.

Instagram Photo

Happy eco wrapping!

MORE: Real or artifical? The eco-friendly guide to buying a Christmas tree

MORE: The very lazy guide to catering for vegan Christmas dinner guests

MORE: Christmas gifts for eco-conscious beauty lovers

How to support someone with fertility problems

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Fertility Series
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

This month for Fertility Month we are publishing a set of articles that hope to raise awareness of the devastating physical, emotional and social impact fertility problems wreak.

One of the many reasons many people don’t talk about their fertility issues is because of the inevitable ‘infertility bingo’ comments that follow.

Things like: ‘Why don’t you just adopt?’, ‘Have you thought about adoption/donor eggs/surrogacy’, ‘You just need to relax…’.

While usually well intended, these comments can cause immense hurt and make an already traumatic situation worse.

They can also lead to people with fertility issues saying nothing at all, and suffering in silence instead.

Just Google ‘what not to say to someone struggling with infertility’ and you’ll find plenty more to add to the infertility bingo card.

OK, but what SHOULD I say or do?

There’s no universally right or wrong answer: the ‘right’ thing will vary immensely from person to person –  and indeed the same person on different days.

However, I surveyed hundreds of women about how family and friends could have better supported them through their experience of infertility and miscarriage.

I found that there are some general dos and don’ts that are pretty safe bets and will make an enormous difference to a friend or loved one.

Say ‘I’m sorry’

Give us a hug and say ‘I’m so sorry’.

Do not try to solve the problem

There’s nothing you can say or do to fix this, so stop trying to do so.

Don’t tell us about miracle babies

Please, please don’t offer advice or tell us about someone else’s miracle story — all you can do is bear witness to our pain.

Just listen & acknowledge our distress

Don’t feel you have to do anything other than listen. Don’t tell us what to do or what to think or what to feel.

Just listen to us, and allow us to be sad and angry at how unfair life is. Be there, let us know you care, that you’re there, and that you want to understand our feelings and needs. Acknowledge that it’s an unimaginably cruel situation and let us offload

Take it seriously

Please understand that infertility is deeply traumatic and genuinely life-changing. Studies into the psychological impact of infertility identified that:

• 90% of infertile couples reported feeling depressed, while 42% reported feeling suicidal

• 50% of the women and 15% of the men surveyed said that infertility was the most upsetting experience of their lives.

• Levels of depression and anxiety in infertility patients were comparable with those amongst cancer patients.

• 4 in 10 women experienced symptoms of PTSD following a miscarriage.

Don’t diminish our suffering by telling us we’re being oversensitive, or that we should be over it by now.

It’s OK for us to not be OK.

Try not to take it personally if we withdraw from social situations or distance ourselves from you.

It’s not that we don’t care — we do. We’re just trying to protect ourselves from being hurt even more than we already are.

Don’t ignore it

Recognise our devastation and ask us if we’d like to talk about it. Don’t be fooled that our smiles mean that everything’s fine. We might not want to talk about it — but just letting us know you’re thinking of us can go a long way.

Read up and educate yourself

Research the issues and try to gain as much knowledge as possible about what we’re going through.

Ask us how we’d like to be supported If you’re not sure what to say or do — ask us.

It’s absolutely OK to say ‘I don’t know what to say’. It’s very much OK to say: ‘I know I can’t take the pain away, but how can I best support you?’

Show us you care

Offers of distraction and acts of kindness will never not be appreciated. If someone has had a failed cycle or miscarriage, don’t just say ‘I’m here if you need anything’ — offer practical support (‘I’m coming round with cake’ or ‘Let me know if you fancy going out for drinks/dinner’).

Be patient with some of the ugly stuff this experience makes us feel and say.

Do things which make us feel remembered and valued.

Cut us some slack if we avoid family events or baby showers — and if we do attend these sorts of events, look out for us.

Remember our due dates or loss dates, so you can show someone else cares about our babies too.

Don’t exclude us

Yes, pregnancy announcements, christenings, kids birthday parties are difficult for us — but it’s even more difficult if you don’t tell us or don’t invite us in an effort to spare our feelings (thereby making us feel even more excluded and isolated).

We are genuinely happy for you, and we really want to be supportive — please do tell us your news, but sensitively.

We’d love it if you sent us a text (please, please, not with a scan picture) to let us know your news before you announce on Facebook or at a public gathering. It really helps if you can give us a heads up in private, rather than telling us face to face, as this gives us time and space to have a cry and put our game face on – so we can focus on being happy for you when we see you.

Invite us to your child’s birthday party, but tell us that you’ll understand if we don’t come.

Reassure us that you love us

Don’t ever say that it’ll happen eventually — because you don’t know that it will (and it might not). Reassure us that you love us and will support us no matter what — that we are still loved and important, regardless of whether we become parents.

 

INFERTILITY BINGO

For the record, here are some infertility bingo classics — please, please just don’t say these.

Please don’t. I know you mean well, but they’re really, really not helpful.

• Why don’t you just adopt…

• Have you thought about…[adoption / donor eggs / surrogacy ]

• You just need to relax…

• Have you tried…. [blindingly obvious suggestion or miracle woo therapy]

• At least… [the miscarriage was early / you know can get pregnant / you’re still young / you can always do IVF]

• I know someone who…[insert miracle baby story]

• You’ll get there, I know you will • It’ll happen for you when the time is right

• Children aren’t all they’re cracked up to be you know

• You can have my kids if you want

These are just some starters for 10.

 

Fertility Month

This story is part of Fertility Month, a month-long series covering all aspects of fertility.

For the next four weeks, we will be speaking to people at all stages of the fertility journey as well as doctors, lawyers and fertility experts who can shed light on the most important issues.

If you have a story to tell or a question to ask, please do get in touch at fertilitystories@metro.co.uk.

Here is a selection of the stories from Fertility Month so far - and you can find all Fertility Month content here.

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What millennials want in their dream home

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metro illustrations
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

What would your dream home look like?

Do you fancy a mansion with stables for your horses? A cottage by the sea?

Millennials’ preferences are a little more down to earth – probably because we’ve been burned by high rents. We’d settle for anything we could afford, let’s be honest.

Rather than dreaming of turrets and acres of land, what millennials most want in their dream home is a kitchen island. Yep, we’re easily pleased.

That’s according to a new survey of 2,000 British people under 35 by M&S Bank.

They found that millennials care about how their house looks (not surprising, really) and where it is, with 92% saying they would compromise on the size or practical features of a property if it was in a cool location.

We know what we don’t want, too. Property-related no-nos included net curtains and conservatories.

Here’s what our dream home looks like…

10 things millennials want in their dream home:

  1. Kitchen island
  2. Nice views
  3. Underfloor heating
  4. A spa-style bathroom
  5. Loft conversion
  6. Open plan living space
  7. A garden fire pit
  8. High ceilings
  9. Home office space
  10. Log burning stove.

10 things millennials would want in their area:

  1. A good local restaurant
  2. A cinema
  3. Green space/parks
  4. A gym
  5. Trendy coffee shops
  6. A cool bar
  7. A farmers’ market
  8. Independent retailers
  9. A gastro pub
  10. A high street

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Disabled people must be able to express our sexual needs. Our health depends on it

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‘Can you even have sex, Sam? Can you have children?’ (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Sex. We all know what it is — and when most of us think of it we think of pleasure, love, passion and mostly a darn good time.

However for some, sex can have a huge impact on their entire lives, affecting their wellbeing, confidence, self worth and sense of belonging.

Early last week I joined a panel of experts and influencers for BBC 5 Live’s #SexTakeover, the UK’s largest sex discussion.

I came away with the strangely reassuring knowledge that all of us — no matter who we are — have had a complex relationship with sex at one time or another. We all have hangups and awkward sexual encounters but for me, as a disabled woman, the takeover highlighted how society is grossly failing disabled people in all areas of sex and sexual wellbeing.

So what happens when no one will discuss sex with you, when medical professionals are letting you down when it comes to your sexual health, or when those around you see you more as a child than a sexual being?

I have a rare genetic disorder known as osteogenesis impefecta (brittle bone disease), I am just shy of four feet tall and a full-time wheelchair user. I knew very early on that I was ‘different’, and that my life experiences differed somewhat from my peers.

I spent most of my adolescence not knowing if I could even physically have sex or if my body would grow like everyone else’s. At one point I convinced myself that I’d never experience puberty, get my period or have sexual relationships because of my condition.

Intrusive questions asked by those around me, as well as the weird fascination that society seems to have around sex and disabled people, added fuel to my already confusing relationship with sex.

I even became the joke in a dare where a group of guys egged each other on to come up to me in a night club.

‘Can you even have sex, Sam? Can you have children? Can you kiss a boy or would you break your jaw? Can you have a boyfriend?’

It seems to be common practice to perceive people with disabilities as objects rather than complete people.

This leads to the view that they are less human and do not desire, need nor want the same things as everyone else. Even now, I get comments on online forums asking if I can have sex, or people commenting that they find me ‘brave’ for being on dating sites.

These experiences aren’t isolated, as many of my close friends have shared similar stories, like comedian Lila Hart. Like Lila, I too experienced people’s embarrassment about having relations with me, and even became the joke in a dare where a group of guys egged each other on to come up to me in a night club.

The disability charity Scope published dating statistics that show only 5% of people who aren’t disabled have ever asked out, or been on a date with, a disabled person, which just highlights that we aren’t seen as sexually desirable.

The stereotypes and misinformation surrounding sex and disabled people goes beyond whether or not we get asked out on a date. It can also impact on whether or not we have proper access to sexual health as Athena Stevens — a playwright and human rights activist who lives with cerebral palsy — found out when she went for a routine pap test.

Athena’s involuntary movements during a standard smear test meant that the doctor eventually gave up. But rather than discuss what they could offer her going forward, they told her in the most cold and insensitive way that ‘lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice’ and that they ‘did not think sex will ever be possible’ for her.

One mother confided in me that she is terrified about discussing sex with her daughter, who has spina bifida. Upon asking her endocrinologist how to discuss periods with her daughter, the doctor replied that she didn’t really know, and that her medical advice was to talk to other parents and see how they managed. The only advice offered by her specialist was for her daughter to wear nappies

There is a substantial breakdown of communication between medical professionals, parents, care givers and educators when we look at sex and disabilities.

No one actually seems to be taking the time to ask what the person with a disability wants or needs. We can feel awkward and jump around the subject all we want, but the fact remains that no matter what your disability looks like, we are all still sexual beings.

The real danger comes when awkwardness and ignorance causes people with disabilities to not only miss out on meaningful intimate relationships, but in many cases our wellbeing is also put at tremendous risk when we aren’t able to access sexual health treatments or contraception.

I’d like to see better education across the board when it comes to disability and sex. Not talking about it can lead to somebody feeling like a lesser person, feeling less desirable and ultimately dehumanised.

Parents need to have access to a better understanding of sex and disability, so that they don’t feel like they are failing their children and their children, in turn, can then feel comfortable to express their sexual needs.

We also need to see the media better embrace disabled people as sexual beings — where are our disabled lingerie models or steamy sex scenes with disabled actors?

Sex may be an awkward subject to broach for many of us, but not talking about it can be so damaging. Especially for disabled people.

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Hiking, kayaking and even gyming: This is probably the most active expedition cruise to Greenland you can do

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Greenland is around five times the size of California but it has a population of just 56,186 compared to 39.54 million.

I’d always been told by friends working in the expedition travel industry that it’s a must-visit for its awe-inspiring scenery, with giant icebergs majestically drifting along the coastline and undulating mountains of mosses and ancient rock giving way to the permanent ice cap.

This is topped off with fascinating pockets of Inuit culture, strewn across remote communities only accessible via boat or by private plane.

A foggy hike up the priest hill above the second largest town of Sisimiut (Picture: Sadie Whitelocks)

In a bid to see the mysterious land I’d heard so much about, I signed up for a 17-day expedition cruise with the Norwegian firm Hurtigruten.

Far from the standard boat trip, the itinerary on offer put me through my paces, with daily hikes to explore the stunning coastal landscape, kayaking sessions and a very brisk polar plunge into the 4 degrees Celsius waters!

There was also a state-of-the-art gym aboard the luxury Hurtigruten boat, Fram, which meant I could maintain my training regime for an upcoming expedition as we went.

And to keep our energy levels pepped up, there was the most delicious spread of locally-sourced cuisine for breakfast, lunch and dinner, with delicacies ranging from fresh baked breads and berry jams to reindeer soup, king crab salad and moreish mountain cranberry mousse.

A group of passengers on a hike around Disko Bay (Picture: Sadie Whitelocks)
A group of passengers on a hike around Disko Bay (Picture: Sadie Whitelocks)

On our first day venturing north on the expedition, we landed at Sisimiut, which is the second largest town in Greenland with just 5,414 inhabitants.

Meeting up with some local guides, we went climbing on Præstefjeldet (priest hill). The trek took around 4 hours and there was only a small group of us who made it all of the way due to the steep gradient and slightly muddy terrain.

On a clear day, this hike offers magnificent views over the town and harbour, but on the day we reached the summit, we couldn’t see more than a metre in front of our feet due to a thick shroud of fog.

However, the next day we were greeted with sunnier skies as we pulled into Qeqertarsuaq in Disko Bay.

From the colourful town, I hiked with a group to the dramatic basalt rock formations.

Sadie perches on an iceberg on the shores of Dundas (Picture: Sadie Whitelocks)

The windswept walk, which was about a 4-hour round-tip, led us over open moorland with colossal icebergs bobbing in the waters beside us.

As we snaked our way along Greenland’s remote west coast, there were disembarkations almost every day, with activities to suit all abilities.

One of my favourite days was when we stopped at Dundas, a former Inuit settlement which was relocated when the US airbase (Thule) landed there in 1953.

The area is now home to a collection of small shelters, which are used as weekend cottages by personnel at the airbase.

The original turf cottages also remain on the site as a poignant reminder of times gone by, with their frames sadly subsiding into the boggy ground.

An Arctic hare seen during a hike by the tiny community of Siorapaluk (Picture: Sadie Whitelocks)
An Arctic hare seen during a hike by the tiny community of Siorapaluk (Picture: Sadie Whitelocks)

We had more than 4 hours to explore the area, which proved to be the perfect amount of time.

Another fabulous day saw us venture off on an ‘explorer hike’. This basically meant that we were covering ground that even the Hurtigruten team hadn’t scoped out before.

The trek led us through the tiny community of Siorapaluk and up over a turfy hillside where we spotted dozens of arctic hares, before we dropped down to a sandy beach and looped back round to where we started.

After we made it to the most northern point possible on the voyage – to 78 degrees 22″ North and 73 degrees 0.32″ West – the Fram turned around and we started sailing back to where we started; Kangerlussuaq.

But the adventure was far from over.

Sadie got very close to humpback whales by the glacier at Illusiat (Picture: Sadie Whitelocks)

A highlight for many passengers on our way back south was our stop at Qaanaaq, a town that was founded in 1953 when the inhabitants of Dundas were forced to relocate.

Qaanaaq, which now has around 650 residents, is the northernmost town in Greenland, just 30km from Canada.

To get a better view of the community, I decided to do a pretty gruelling hike up a sheer-sloping hill looming in the distance.

It was tricky getting up there, with loose rock requiring a bit of a scramble, but the sweaty ascent paid off and the views were silently magnificent.

On the wildlife front, we had the most incredible encounter with several humpback whales by the awe-inspiring glacier at Illusiat (a Unesco World Heritage Site).

Sadie looks out over the awe-inspiring ice flow at the Illusiat glacier (Picture: Sadie Whitelocks)

We ventured to the ice edge in little fishing boats, which meant we were very close to the mysterious mammals when they appeared.

As we stood in silence, we could hear them breathing intermittedly before they plunged back down into the blue, fanning their flukes as they went.

My adventure around Greenland was topped off by a kayaking session around Itilleq. We spent several hours in the water, paddling around the little seaweed-covered coves, with a thin layer of mist giving way to bursts of sunshine now and then.

All in all, the in-depth introduction to Greenland’s west coast with Hurtigruten had been awesome.

The itinerary certainly kept me on my toes, and unlike most expedition cruises I’d been on, I returned home in better shape than I started!

The epic voyage had fed my mind, body and soul.

What to pack for an Arctic expedition

From relaxing around the ship, to being outside in the Arctic wilds, here are some expedition gear I’d recommend for an adventure on the high seas:

Planning your own expedition cruise:

Expedition cruise company Hurtigruten operates a 17-day Midnight Sun Exploration itinerary on the west coast of Greenland, with prices starting from £7,959.

Regular flights with SAS run from London Heathrow to Copenhagen, with transfers via Air Greenland to Kangerlussuaq.

For airport transfers to Heathrow and to explore Copenhagen during an extended layover, car journeys can be scheduled via the Uber app. Alternatively, to use lounge facilities during extended stopovers, try PriorityPass.

(Top picture: Sadie Whitelocks)

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What I Rent: Laura and Elliot, £725 each for a two-bedroom flat in Clapham North

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LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON Tenant Laura Abernethy is pictured in the combined living room and kitchen of her two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and her flatmate Elliot Davies pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Laura shares a two-bedroom flat with a friend from university, Elliot (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)

It’s handy to know what other people are paying for their homes in London – if only so we can tell when we’re getting ripped off.

That’s the main reason we show you around a different person’s rented property each week for our series, What I Rent.

The other reason is that we’re nosy and love looking around people’s living spaces. You get it.

This week we’re chatting with Laura, a 26-year-old journalist who lives with software developer Elliot, also 26, in the triangle of Stockwell, Clapham North, and Brixton. We’re referring to the area where they live as Clapham North as that’s the closest station to their flat.

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON Tenant Laura Abernethy is pictured in the combined living room and kitchen of her two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and her flatmate Elliot Davies pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
They each pay £725 a month (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)

Hi Laura! How much are you paying for this place?

We pay £725 each, which includes our council tax and water bills. Our rooms differ in size but we agreed to pay the same and toss a coin.

I ended up with the bigger room but Elliot does avoid road noise and his room is warmer so I think it sort of evens out. I did the coin toss twice before in other house shares and ended up with the box room so I was due some luck.

We pay an extra £50 a month for electricity and gas and £27 for broadband, so £38.50 each a month.

And what do you get for that money?

There’s two bedrooms, an open plan kitchen/living room, one bathroom and a cellar downstairs. We also have a little garden which is great in the summer.

How did you end up living here?

We’ve lived here since September 2016 so just over two years.

I found it on Gumtree but I was living in Belfast at the time so Elliot went and did all the house viewings for us.

It had been empty for months so we didn’t have high hopes as we assumed there would be something wrong with it but Elliot came to check it out and really liked it. It was under our budget because the bills were included. He sent me some pictures and I trusted his judgement.

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the hallway of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
The flat sits in the triangle of Clapham North, Stockwell, and Brixton (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)

It was only the second place we looked at but it seemed like a good option so we applied the next morning. As it was already empty, we could move in when we liked.

It was a private landlord so there were no fees or anything and the deposit was just one month’s rent, when most places were asking for a month and a half so I think we got pretty lucky.

Do you like the area?

We both really like living here. The flat is well located and lots of our friends live nearby so we’re pretty happy with where it is. The flat is on a quiet road but it’s just off a main road.

There’s a lovely pub and fantastic bakery at the end of the street and Clapham high street is a five minute walk so there’s loads of stuff nearby. Brixton is a ten minute walk and it’s about 15 minutes to Clapham Common.

I love that it’s right between three tube stations so there’s lots of ways to get somewhere. When we moved in we both had a 20 minute commute but we have both changed jobs recently and now it’s a bit further, but we like that we can be in central London really quickly.

Do you feel like you have enough space?

The flat isn’t huge, particularly the living area, which is where we spend most of our time. It’s weirdly long and narrow.

We’ve got used to it though and it’s fine for two of us or when we have one or two people over. It’s not great for much more than that but we’ve had dinner parties for six people before.

I like to cook and do wish we had more kitchen space but it’s perfectly useable. When we moved in we asked our landlord if she would put some more cupboards up as there was nothing on the wall above the sink. Fortunately she did because I don’t know where we would store everything otherwise.

The flat was furnished but that basically involved a sofa, a rug and a table and some chairs in the living area and then a bed and a wardrobe in our bedrooms so we’ve added more furniture for more storage.

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details pictured in the combined kitchen and living room of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Laura says the rent was under budget (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)

Our bedrooms are both a good size though.

It’s the older part of the house so there’s lots of light and high ceilings (though that and the single glazed windows make our bedrooms much colder in the winter) and we have lots of storage space in the cellar. We filled it with big plastic boxes to keep everything clean and dry and it’s also the perfect place for Elliot to store all his wine.

Having the garden means we feel like we have lots more space in the summer. We bought some wooden furniture and love to eat outside or sit outside and read when it’s warm.

What’s it like living with Elliot?

Elliot and I met when we were both at university in St Andrews. He was the web editor of the student newspaper when I applied for a job and he interviewed me. He didn’t give me that job but I ended up getting made news editor a few months later and he was made editor so we worked together a lot and became good friends.

We both knew we would probably end up in London some day and decided we would like to live together if we did. He had another year of uni left and I went to do my Masters in Sheffield.

After that, I ended up going home to Ireland for a year when I got a job there and Elliot moved to London so I thought it might not work.

Eventually though I got offered a job in London and luckily he was still keen to live with me. He’d been renting a studio flat and he wanted to move so it worked out really well.

Living together has been great. We get on really well. People have asked us before how we manage to get on so well and we’re not really sure what the secret is. Elliot is very clean, tidy and polite and I try my best to be. We rarely argue and we have a very similar sense of humour so we have a lot of fun.

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details in the bedroom of tenant Laura Abernethys' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and her flatmate Elliot Davies pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
They’ve made the flat their own with plenty of sentimental decorations (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)

How have you made the flat feel like home?

One of the first things we bought was the picture of St Andrews that hangs above the TV as it’s somewhere that is still very special to us both. We also have lots of photographs everywhere of all our friends too.

We bought a yellow footstool each because we wanted to make the living area a bit more comfortable but I like that they add colour.

We also both like to travel a lot and decided to start collecting cheesy magnets anywhere we go. Most of them are from trips we went on together but we’ve added a few from separate trips this year. We’ve got a decent collection on the fridge now and I like that they bring back memories.

I do the same thing in my room with snow globes – though half my collection is back in Northern Ireland with my parents as snowglobes weren’t deemed to be an essential when I moved.

We’ve recently got into houseplants. Elliot’s bonsai tree is his pride and joy, we have some succulents in the living room (currently being hidden by Elliot’s birthday cards) and we added a few plants to the bathroom to try to brighten it up a bit.

We’ve promised to try to sort the garden out next summer – I wouldn’t say I’m very green fingered and things keep dying on me but I do try.

Are there any issues with the house you have to put up with?

Nothing major. We’ve had a few things such as our front door swelling up in the summer heatwave so badly that we couldn’t get out but our landlord fixes things pretty quickly.

The bathroom is a bit grubby but perfectly useable and there’s the odd quirk like the floors aren’t quite flat so we prop things up with cardboard but we make it work.

Any plans to move again?

We’re pretty happy here at the minute. I’d like to move in with my boyfriend at some point in the future but probably not for another year at least. I think I’d stay in South London though as I really like it here.

And what about buying a place?

I would love to but I know I’ll never have enough to get a deposit together. I do want to be able to paint my walls, put up shelves and own a pet but it seems like a bit of a pipe dream.

Same. Shall we have a look around Laura and Elliot’s place?

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the combined kitchen and living room of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
The living room is long and narrow, but Laura and Elliot make do (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the combined kitchen and living room of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
There’s plenty of room for two (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details pictured in the combined kitchen and living room of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
A well-stocked booze section (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the kitchen of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
The kitchen and dining area looks on to the living room (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the kitchen of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Laura does wish the kitchen were a little bigger (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of fridge magnets in the kitchen of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
The magnets on the fridge are souvenirs of places Laura and Elliot have been (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details pictured in the combined kitchen and living room of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
(Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the garden of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
There’s a garden! (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the garden of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
That’s rare in London (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON Tenant Laura Abernethy is pictured in the bedroom of her two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and her flatmate Elliot Davies pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Laura’s bedroom is slightly bigger than Elliot’s, but they pay the same rent (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the bedroom of tenant Laura Abernethys' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and her flatmate Elliot Davies pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
There’s space for a desk as well as a double bed (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the bedroom of tenant Laura Abernethys' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and her flatmate Elliot Davies pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
We’re fans of the bedding (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details in the bedroom of tenant Laura Abernethys' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and her flatmate Elliot Davies pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
(Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details in the bedroom of tenant Laura Abernethys' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and her flatmate Elliot Davies pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
(Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details in the bedroom of tenant Laura Abernethys' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and her flatmate Elliot Davies pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Laura collects snowglobes (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details in the bedroom of tenant Laura Abernethys' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and her flatmate Elliot Davies pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Yes, that is a small horse (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the bedroom of tenant Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Elliot and his flatmate Laura Abernethy pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Here’s Elliot’s room. See how it’s ever so slightly smaller? (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details in the bedroom of tenant Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Elliot and his flatmate Laura Abernethy pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
There’s still more than enough space, though (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the bedroom of tenant Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Elliot and his flatmate Laura Abernethy pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
(Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the bedroom of tenant Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Elliot and his flatmate Laura Abernethy pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
See? He’s got a desk, too (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the bathroom of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Behold the bathroom, complete with plants (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details in the bathroom of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
The plants don’t get a lot of light, so Laura and Elliot sometimes have to take them out of bathroom (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of the bathroom of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Yes, they do clean the bathroom, but there’s some grubbiness that just won’t budge (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of details in the bathroom of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
(Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, NOVEMBER 23RD 2018. WHAT I RENT: CLAPHAM/ BRIXTON General view of toothbrushes in the bathroom of tenants Laura Abernethy and Elliot Davies' two bedroom flat in the Clapham/ Brixton border area of London, 23rd November 2018. Laura and Elliot pay ?725 a month including water and council tax but not including gas, electricity or internet usage. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
You didn’t think we’d leave you without a toothbrush shot, did you? (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)

What I Rent is a weekly series that’s out every Tuesday at 10am. Check back next week to have a nose around another rented property in London. 

How to get involved in What I Rent

What I Rent is Metro.co.uk's weekly series that takes you inside the places in London people are renting, to give us all a better sense of what's normal and how much we should be paying.

If you fancy taking part, please email whatirent@metro.co.uk.

You'll need to have pictures taken of your kitchen, living room, bathroom, and bedroom, plus a few photos of you in your room. Make sure you get permission for your housemates!

You'll also need to be okay with sharing how much you're paying for rent, as that's pretty important.

MORE: What millennials want in their dream home

MORE: What I Rent: Lee, £825 per month for a room in a two-bedroom flat in Holloway

MORE: What I Rent: Max, £900 a month for a room in a four-bedroom house in Tooting

These are all the pieces in the new December Holly Willoughby M&S edit

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Holly Willoughby December edit Marks and Spencer
(Picture: Marks and Spencer)

Holly Willoughby’s next edit for Marks and Spencer will be released in just 10 days.

But if you want to plan which items you want to snap up, the pieces have been revealed.

Holly Willoughby December edit Marks and Spencer
(Picture: Marks and Spencer)
Holly Willoughby December edit Marks and Spencer
(Picture: Marks and Spencer)

Like Holly’s previous collections, they include lots of animal print and bright colours.

The range will be released in selected stores and online on 6 December.

Pink coat – £49.50

(Picture: M&S)

Leopard print dress – £39.50

 

(Picture: M&S)

Trousers – £35

(Picture: M&S)

Leopard print top – £29.50

 

(Picture: M&S)

Black court shoes – £25

(Picture: M&S)

Pink court shoes – £19.50

 

(Picture: M&S)

Boots – £45

(Picture: M&S)

Shirt – £29.50

(Picture: M&S)

Top – £29.50

 

(Picture: M&S)

Jeans – £19.50

(Picture: M&S)

Skirt –  £29.50

(Picture: M&S)

Striped jumper – £17.50

(Picture: M&S)

MORE: The best Cyber Monday TV deals that you can get today

MORE: Modern Etiquette: How do I leave my shared house without making everyone hate me?

MORE: First dress from Holly Willoughby’s next collection for M&S revealed

How to protect your Christmas tree from your cat

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No, kitty (Picture: Getty)

Christmas is coming and thus, it’s nearly time to put up your Christmas tree. Unless you’ve already put it up, of course, in which case you are a heathen.

But while the rest of the festive types are draping tinsel and popping a star on the top of their tree, those of us with cats face some challenges.

Should we even bother putting up a tree, knowing that our cat will just ruthlessly tear it down?

Will our silly feline pals try to eat the pines and get sick?

Where can we put this bauble from a German market to protect it from our cat’s deathly paws?

Do not worry, sweet cat owners. Your cat will not ruin Christmas this year (unless they steal the turkey again). You just need to take some extra precautions to protect your carefully decorated tree from your loveable demon of a cat – and protect your cat from your tree.

Here’s our guide.

Make sure your tree is stable

So, before you start worrying about the safety of your decorations, you’ll need to check on your cat’s health and safety. After all, a cat isn’t just for Christmas, while a Christmas tree, well, is.

Make sure that when positioning your tree you choose a place where it can be secured to a wall or ceiling. You don’t want your tree to topple down when your cat inevitably launches its entire body at it. You can use clear fishing line and small ring hooks to keep the tree upright.

Ensure the base of your tree is sturdy and stable so it won’t wobble.

Cover the water

If you’ve chosen a real tree, watch out for the water in the base.

‘Fir trees, specially produced for the Christmas season, tend to carry a lot of chemicals in their needles,’ Kathrin Burckhardt, founder of Cat in a Flat, tells Metro.co.uk. ‘It is not so much the needles that cats tend to eat, but the water in which the tree sits and into which the toxic needles fall.

‘Cats will try to drink from this water so please make sure that it’s safely covered at all times to prevent an unwanted trip to the vet.’

No. (Picture: Getty)

Clear pine needles as they fall

Pine needles aren’t toxic, and in general cats won’t try to eat them. But there is a danger that a pine needle could get stuck in a cat’s intestines and cause a puncture, irritation, or blockage.

This is where you need to consider your cat’s personality.

Are they a silly sausage who will try to eat anything and everything? If so, a real Christmas tree might not be a wise choice. Get an artificial one instead.

Do they tend to stick to what’s in their bowl, and leave anything that doesn’t smell or look like food? Go forth with a real tree.

If you do get a real tree, just make sure to sweep up any pine needles that fall as soon as you can.

Wait to decorate

‘When setting up your new tree, it’s always best to wait a few days before adding the Christmas decorations,’ says Kathrin.

‘Let your kitty give the tree a good sniff and explore before you add the sparkly bits.

‘Hopefully by the time you do this, Mr Whiskers will be bored and not show as much interest.’

This is also a good way to suss out how much decoration you can get away with. If your cat’s been batting at your tree 24/7, it might be best to go more minimal… or stick to robust decorations that won’t be wrecked by hitting the floor.

No! (Picture: Getty)

Actually, just avoid anything too delicate

Prevent despair and injury by avoiding any decorations that will shatter on impact. It’s just not worth the risk.

No tinsel

Cats can’t resist chewing on tinsel, which is concerning as it can easily form a blockage in the intestines.

Ditch tinsel entirely. It’s just too shiny for cats to ignore and it could be lethal.

Use citrus

This is a trick you can use for all houseplants your cat won’t stop scratching: Cats don’t like the scent of citrus.

And in a glorious twist of fate, orange is considered a festive smell. Spritz your tree with orange oil or use dried citrus rings as decoration and cats will steer clear.

Black pepper also does the trick – sprinkle some in the base of your tree to deter cats from getting near.

MORE: The eco-friendly guide to Christmas gift wrap

MORE: Santa’s ‘no fly zones’ where children in poverty won’t get a single present this year

MORE: It’s A Wonderful Life script is being painted on train platforms to help people struggling with mental health problems

Couple explain why they are having another child to help save their daughter’s life

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Stella, Michael, Bianca and Gisela a few months before Bianca was diagnosed (Picture: Michael Niedzielski/Metro.co.uk)

Bianca Niedzielski can’t wait to have another little brother or sister.

She loves playing with her twin sister Stella and they are excited to have someone else to join in.

But the new baby could have a particularly special bond with Bianca – because it could save her life.

Two years ago, Bianca, now five, was diagnosed with an Embryonal Tumor with Multilayered Rosettes (ETMR) – a rare type of childhood brain cancer – and her parents Gisela and Michael were told she had months to live.

The family in Boston a few weeks into treatment (Picture: Michael Niedzielski/Metro.co.uk)

After a year of intense treatment, the couple were told she was free of cancer but that it had caused her to develop a Myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS), meaning she was at high risk of developing leukemia in the future.

If she developed the blood cancer, she would need a stem cell donor and her twin sister Stella wasn’t a match.

So shoe business owner Gisela, 34, and City worker Michael, 39, have decided to have another baby who would be genetically matched to Bianca in case she needed a stem cell transplant to save her life – a story reminiscent of the hit book and film My Sister’s Keeper.

‘We always says we wanted three or four children but having another baby was delayed when Bianca got ill. Now that she is better, we knew we are ready to have another child,’ Michael told Metro.co.uk.

‘I had a low sperm count and the twins were conceived through IVF five years ago.

Bianca on her fourth birthday, while she was having treatment (Picture: Michael Niedzielski/Metro.co.uk)

‘If we want another child, we have to do IVF again anyway as there’s no way we could conceive naturally.

‘We thought that since we have to do that anyway, we might as well implant one that is a match for Bianca.

‘We are being proactive. This is only if her condition does evolve into leukemia. If she never develops it, we will never need a donor.

‘It is much better to get a match from a sibling than a random donor. It’s more likely to be successful.’

Bianca fell ill two years ago when she, then aged three, had a seizure at their home in Notting Hill, West London.

Stella and Bianca (Picture: Michael Niedzielski/Metro.co.uk)

Michael says: ‘We were very happy and had a great life. One morning, she just woke up and had a seizure so we called an ambulance and took her to the hospital.

‘They insisted on her having a brain MRI as it was completely out of the blue.

‘They saw a mass in the brain, which they initially believed was nothing but a few weeks later, Great Ormond Street Hospital called us back and somebody had another look at the scan.

‘They said that they thought they should operate and remove it. We said if there was a risk it could be something, we just wanted to get it out.

‘A few weeks later, she had surgery at GOSH and we had to wait five days for a biopsy.

‘When they called us back they told us that it wasn’t benign like they thought it was but it was a stage four brain cancer, a particularly aggressive type and she had about two months to live.

‘It was the worst possible day for us as her parents.’

Bianca at The Bibi Fund headquarters (Picture: Michael Niedzielski/Metro.co.uk)

Unwilling to give up, the couple researched treatments online and took Bianca to Boston for intensive chemotherapy, proton therapy and two clinical trials involving radio-immunotherapy.

Although they were told the disease was gone after a year, the intensive treatments had caused Bianca to develop MDS, which meant her body was not producing blood cells normally.

‘She doesn’t have leukemia at the moment but she is at a much higher risk of developing it. It is impossible to tell what the risk actually is but the doctors believe it is quite high,’ Michael says.

A year on from being declared disease free, Bianca is doing well and with the family back in London, the twins have started school.

The family also started a charity called The Bibi Fund to raise money for childhood cancer research, collecting $1.3M (£1m) in just a year.

But they do fear that Bianca could develop leukemia at any point and now ready to have another child, they have submitted a request to the carry out Pre-implantation tissue typing (PTT).

PTT is a type of embryo testing which can be used in the treatment of children with life-limiting blood disorders.

Using IVF, the mother releases several eggs that are then fertilised and each of the embryos that are created are screened to see if they are tissue match for Bianca.

The twins back in London after treatment (Picture: Michael Niedzielski/Metro.co.uk)

Although still very rare, it has been used since 2000 and was approved by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) to be carried out in the UK in 2009.

The process is still considered to be controversial and the couple have had to apply to the HFEA to ask for MDS to be added to the list of approved conditions.

Michael added: ‘I don’t think it needs to be controversial. I would understand people saying this shouldn’t happen if it was because they wanted their kid to have blue eyes.

‘For us it’s very simple – it’s about being able to keep Bianca alive as well as fulfilling our wish of having another child.

‘We can implant an embryo anyway through normal IVF and there would be a 25% chance of it being a match or we can add in this genetic testing and make sure it is a match.

‘I understand that someone people have issues but why would you implant one randomly when we could choose and have a cure for my other daughter.

‘I feel like when our child is older, they will agree with us.

How does PTT work?

PTT is a treatment which involves checking the genes or chromosomes of your embryos for a specific tissue type.

Because the embryos need to be tested in a lab you will need to have IVF, even if you and your partner have no fertility problems.

Embryos which have been tested and are a match will be placed back into your womb to hopefully continue to develop.

The first step should be talking to your GP or specialist. It may be possible to have treatment on the NHS but it will depend on what’s offered by your local clinical commissioning group (the body responsible for providing NHS services in your area).

Only very specialist clinics provide PTT. You’ll need to first find a clinic that offers pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) and contact them to see if they also offer PTT.

HFEA

‘Most people would donate stem cells to save someone they love. It’s not like donating an organ – it’s just a spinal tap.

‘It’s a straightforward procedure with very little consequence on your life but lifesaving for the person you are donating to.’

The couple want to start the procedure, which they will pay for privately at Lister Fertility Clinic, as soon as they have approval.

Michael says: ‘If we had to go on the transplant list, we could be waiting years and typically people with the type of leukemia she is at risk of developing don’t have years to wait.

‘The IVF process takes about a year and although Bianca is doing really well now, we just want to make sure we can save her if she does fall ill again.’

Mr James Nicopoullos, Consultant Gynaecologist at Lister Fertility Clinic told Metro.co.uk: ‘Suffering from infertility and the associated rigors and emotional strain of treatment can have an enormous toll on couples with studies suggesting associated anxiety to be similar to those suffering with cancer or serious cardiac conditions.

‘To then add the strain of coping with a seriously unwell child, those who present to discuss fertility treatment that may also offer them renewed hope require individualised care and support.

‘Although the concept of “saviour sibling” treatment is immediately an appealing one to all, we have a tight regulatory framework that we have to work under to achieve a license to be allowed to proceed.

‘We have a three-fold legal obligation under HFEA regulation to consider the circumstances of each case individually to ensure that the couple is going through an arduous process with a realistic chance of success in terms of both fertility outcome as well as possibility of finding an embryo that may be a successful match.

‘Firstly, we are obliged to assess the seriousness of the child’s condition and its prognosis as well as any alternative treatment options or alternative sources of tissue for treating them, so must have the support of the doctor treating the child before approaching the HFEA.

‘Second, we must also consider the possible consequences for any child who may be born as a result of treatment including the possibility of long-term emotional and psychological implications of being conceived in such a way that may also be impacted on by the success or failure of the match and treatment of his/her sibling.

‘Third, we should consider the individual family circumstances, assessing the likelihood of a successful outcome, the likely outcome of treatment for the affected child as well as demand placed on them, the support around them and the consequences of an unsuccessful outcome.

‘Only once this is assessed will the HFEA consider issuing a license for treatment before the real strain begins with treatment. The key is offering as much support as possible to couples and at the Lister we have an open door free counseling policy to all our couples.’

Fertility Month

This story is part of Fertility Month, a month-long series covering all aspects of fertility.

For the next four weeks, we will be speaking to people at all stages of the fertility journey as well as doctors, lawyers and fertility experts who can shed light on the most important issues.

If you have a story to tell, please do get in touch at fertilitystories@metro.co.uk.

Here is a selection of the stories from Fertility Month so far - and you can find all Fertility Month content here.

MORE: Fertility Month: Why we are talking about fertility this month

MORE: I found the perfect sperm donor - but I never got my happy ending

MORE: Plastic could be affecting your fertility – here’s how and why

MORE: How hard is it to get pregnant if you have polycystic ovary syndrome?

MORE: How to get super sperm like the Danish Vikings

MORE: What it's like to have an eating disorder while you're pregnant

MORE: Can you get over not having children when you really wanted to have children?

This house looks normal on the outside but it is covered in amazing colourful patterns inside

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(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)

Let’s be honest, most houses on your street look the same.

But you never know what’s behind each door – as this property advert proves.

This amazing four-bedroom house in Chelsea is on the market for £1.85m. It might sound like a hefty price tag but when you look inside, you can see why.

The rooms are an ‘extraordinary’ mix of colours and patterns, reflecting the style of the previous owner, Henry Wilson.

Mr Wilson was an acclaimed photographer and designer who worked extensively in India.

He published seven books covering everything from Indian textiles to the architecture and his photography there.

4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)
4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)
4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)
4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)

Estate agents Martin&Co said: ‘His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last.’

The rooms include detailed stenciling, etched glass and beautiful fabrics.

It’s currently arranged as two flats but the estate agents say it could be converted into one house, subject to planning.

The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate toilet, roof terrace and walled garden.

The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area.

Located on Burnaby Street, it’s close to Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway stations.

4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)
4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)
4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)
4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)
4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)
4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)
4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)
4 bedroom end of terrace house for sale Burnaby Street, London ??1,850,000 Extraordinary Freehold property located in Chelsea, SW10. The property reflects the wonderful style of its previous owner, acclaimed photographer and designer, Henry Wilson. His love of India is reflected throughout and its impossible not to be in awe with each room seeming to be more memorable than the last. Currently arranged as two flats, the property offers the opportunity for an incoming purchaser to convert to one house (subject to planning) . The accommodation on the upper floors comprises reception room with bay window, kitchen, three double bedrooms, generous landing area, bathroom, separate w/c, roof terrace and walled garden. The flat on the lower floor has reception room, double bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with access to patio area. Burnaby Street is located in the Lots Village conservation area and is on the doorstep of the stunning Chelsea Waterfront development which will bring new, exciting amenities to the area. Both Imperial Wharf and Fulham Broadway are within walking distance as well as excellent bus routes on the Kings Road and Fulham Road.
(Picture: Martin and Co – Chelsea)

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Children don’t care about the gender of their early years teachers, but it matters

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Greg with some of the children he works with (Picture: Greg Stewart Lane)
Greg with some of the children he works with (Picture: Greg Lane)

Role modelling is an essential part of early years and children learn so much from who spends time with them.

It’s particularly important because good role modelling from all parts of our community will help change gender norms in the future and champion equality.

Put simply, if a child only sees their mother cook and clean, they start the process of believing it is a female job.

If the men in early years are the only teachers playing outside or doing rough and tumble, then children will assume it’s only for males.

It can work more subtlety too. For example, if female team members ask the males to ‘collect’ the spiders found in the messy area.

Children see and hear more than we realise and we need to be fully aware of this.

At present, only 4% of early years teachers in England are male. While some countries are racing ahead with growing numbers of men entering the profession, here in the UK, the struggle continues.

The London Early Years Foundation recently completed a study with the University of Wolverhampton that asked children what they thought about men in childcare.

As part of the new research, children were asked what gender of staff they wanted to do activities such as playing football, dress up and rough and tumble with.

The results pointed to the children’s desire to play and learn with the person they enjoyed doing it with the most, rather having a preference for a specific gender for different activities.

So if a male staff member played football and the children enjoyed it, they would choose him. The same would be true if the staff member was female.

Essentially, children loved the company of the people who played best with them.

Yet, it’s so important that we see both male and female teachers engaging in all activities – particularly those where there is a perception that it’s better suited to either girls or boys.

Men also need to help with the care aspects of early years and wash up, change nappies and demonstrate that all of us can assist with the traditionally assumed more female jobs.

Unfortunately, we’re not seeing gender equality in early years in the UK at the moment.

The overall idea of early years being the poor cousin of education – which is often reflected in government policy, pay and conditions and ignorance – deters men from attempting to join the sector.

Some men also identified as feeling anxious when surrounded by an all-female workforce.

Recruitment advertising, for example, often only features females. The flexibility of work is also often directed at the female population.

Of course, these things can be rectified moderately easily, but some of the deeper barriers and stereotypes will take more time to change.

Men need to go and talk to other men in schools and colleges about how rewarding and influencing teaching in early years can be.

Further and higher education institutions need to push hard when recruiting males to their courses.

Female staff themselves need to work hard to promote the real advantages of having a diverse and truly reflective workforce.

We need to present a positive coherent message, too, that men who work with children are doing so because they are keen to support all children and give the best education possible while presenting positive role models.

Some children may not have a male in their home and so interacting with male teachers at nursery creates a balance – showing them that men can be silly, can play, make jokes, dress up and also can give you a hug if you’ve fallen down.

Men also need to help with the care aspects of early years and wash up, change nappies and demonstrate that all of us can assist with the traditionally assumed more female jobs.

Through activities such as these in early years, we can help to offset negative assumptions that some children may have about men and learn a sense of wellbeing and equality.

It’s evident that we need to widen the talent pool if we are to staff the early years sector with high-quality nursery teachers and assistants.

As this study (and many others) confirm, children see little difference between the care provided by male teachers and that provided by their female counterparts.

We now need a robust strategy in place that will affect culture change and shift attitudes for the better and for the sake of our children.

In all my years working with the children, the one thing I have learned most of all is that children really don’t care who you are.

They are only interested in the following. Do you care? Do you listen? Are you fun? That’s the most important thing.

We owe it to them to deliver the best teachers we can find across all the community. Not just half of it.

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Christmas markets, designer clothes and vintage stores: Here’s how to plan a shopping weekend in Bath

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With shopping weekends til Christmas disappearing swiftly, it wouldn’t be the worst idea to plan a staycation that lets you buy all your gifts in one go, admire a pretty part of the world, then put your feet up at a spa.

Step forward Bath, the gorgeous city an hour and a half’s train ride from central London.

Whether you’re into vintage stores, designer labels or are a sucker for a Christmas market, Bath has plenty to offer for shopaholics.

Stall Street, Union Street and Milsom Street in the centre of Bath feature many popular brands.

You’ll find Marks & Spencer and Primark on Stall Street, Lush and Cos on Union Street and Waterstones on Milsom Street.

The SouthGate shopping centre on Southgate Street, opposite the train station, is home to more than 50 shops, including high street labels like River Island, H&M, Debenhams and New Look. You’ll also find brands like Tommy Hilfiger and Kurt Geiger.

If you’ve come by car, you could also visit Kilver Court Designer Outlet Village, which is 45 minutes from the city.

Labels there include Joseph, Orla Kiely and Mulberry.

The Royal Crescent (Picture: Getty)

Affluent Bath is a great place to go for charity shop bargains, too – you’ll find designer labels galore, charity Christmas cards and other goodies and, of course, all your money goes to a good cause.

There are lots of shops in the city, including Oxfam, Save The Children and Cancer Research. Many are on or near Broad Street, but there are plenty scattered around the other key shopping areas.

The Artisan Quarter, aka Walcot Street and London Road, is great for these – try Julian House Charity Shop and Bath Women’s Refuge Shop.

There are art and antiques shops around here, plus a flea market in Walcot Street each Saturday.

You’ll also find fantastic vintage clothing shops like The Yellowshop and Jack & Danny’s in this area.

Back on Milsom Street, you’ll also find Vintage To Vogue.

BATH, UNITED KINGDOM - DECEMBER 23: Christmas shoppers makes their away along the High Street on December 23, 2006 in Bath, England. With just two days to go before Christmas, the streets are busy with people as they are finishing their last-minute Christmas shopping. (Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)
Don’t save everything until the last minute (Picture: Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

Milsom Place is a small but attractive shopping centre featuring independent stores alongside brands including Phase Eight and Hobbs.

Jolly’s, the UK’s oldest department store, is nearby on Milsom Street. It’s currently run by House of Fraser and features brands like Calvin Klein, DKNY and Michael Kors but is mostly worth a visit for the architecture. There’s also a tea room.

At the top of Milsom Street and in Upper Town along George Street, you’ll find find independent shops selling everything from jewellery to first edition books.

For more unique gifts, try the Guildhall Market on the High Street, where you can pick up bags, haberdashery and specialist tea and coffee.

Bath Farmers Market also runs every Saturday from 9am to 1.30pm at Green Park, if you’re looking for food gifts such as handmade chocolates and honey.

My favourite independent shop in Bath is the Fine Cheese Co in Walcot Street, with it’s knowledgeable staff and fascinating range of produce.

You’ll pop in out of curiosity, spend ages trying samples, fall in love and exit with armfuls of the stuff.

BATH, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 30: Christmas shoppers browse stalls at the traditional Christmas market that has opened close to the historic Roman Baths and Bath Abbey on November 30, 2017 in Bath, England. Originating in Germany, Christmas markets have become increasingly popular in many British towns and cities in recent years as a way of boosting festive sales and visitor numbers. (Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)
The annual Christmas market in Bath (Picture: Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

Of course, if your friends and relatives are lactose intolerant, vegan or simply averse to cheese-based Christmas gifts, you could always try the 180 glitzy festive chalets of Bath Christmas Market.

It’s pretty easy to find as it’s set up round Bath’s majestic Abbey.

Here, you’ll find arty prints, homemade jewellery, glassware, ceramics and gin among other potential presents.

There’s also mulled wine and hog roasts because it’s important to keep your energy up.

Bath Christmas Market 2018 runs from Thursday, November 22 to Sunday, December 9.

Where to stay in Bath and how to get there:

The John Wood Suite (Picture: The Royal Crescent Hotel)
The John Wood Suite at The Royal Crescent Hotel & Spa (Picture: The Royal Crescent Hotel & Spa)

I stayed at The Royal Crescent Hotel & Spa in Bath – a beautiful Georgian building with suites named after notable people who have spent time in Bath – everyone from Prince Frederick, Duke Of York (aka The Grand Old Duke Of York), to Jane Austen and Lord Nelson.

The hotel’s combination of stunning architecture, comfort and elegance give the venue a quintessentially British feel – pleasant and polite, five-star but far from ostentatious.

Situated in The Royal Crescent (a row of 30 stunning terraced houses), it sits on top of a hill overlooking Royal Victoria Park and the high street is about 10 minutes’ walk away.

The hotel serves gourmet meals in its three AA Rosette restaurant, The Dower House. While dinner here was excellent the staff were even better – friendly and accommodating.

On a sunny day, you can eat breakfast in the peaceful garden – a mini oasis away from the city.

Once your shopping’s done, you can curl up by the fire in the Drawing Room or take afternoon tea in the restaurant.

The pool at the spa (Picture: The Royal Crescent Hotel & Spa)
The pool at the spa (Picture: The Royal Crescent Hotel & Spa)

Another big draw here is the spa – the 12-metre pool has lovely natural light, and the treatments range from Proto-Col collagen facials, hot stone massages and body wraps to Jessica manicures and pedicures.

Rooms at The Royal Crescent cost from £330 per night. Suites cost from £850 per night. Both rates include breakfast.

The hotel is also offering stays over the Christmas period – a three night house party package including breakfasts, lunches and dinners as well as entertainment costs from £1,491.

Trains run direct from London Paddington to Bath Spa every half hour during the day.

The journey takes an hour and a half and return tickets cost from £59.50 from GWR.

If you’re driving from central London the journey takes about two hours, 15 minutes.

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A mother-in-law wants to charge her family £17 each for Christmas dinner

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Shot of a family dinner with a young couple in the foreground
(Picture: Getty)

A woman has posted to Mumsnet in disbelief after her mother-in-law tried to charge her family £17 per head for Christmas dinner.

User Staceyjas explained that her partner is going to his mother’s for Christmas, while she is going to her own family’s for lunch, and that his mother has asked for money in return for the lunch.

She wrote: ‘She wants £17 per head from him!

‘I’m going to my family’s for lunch so invited him also but he has had it there all his life with his grandparents and siblings too.

‘She said she doesn’t want to do It all from scratch and wants to get it all pre-done so it’s more money, which I understand but he’s gutted and feels like he wants to come to my family now.

‘I can see it from both sides and it’s hard work and can be expensive but not like she is financially destitute.’

She added that her partner’s mum had never charged for dinner before, and that he had offered to bring dessert as handing over money feels ‘wrong’.

Christmas themed dinner table; Shutterstock ID 215935333; Purchase Order: -
(Picture: Shutterstock)

Staceyjas said: ‘He says it’s about family not money but I wanted to see what other people’s opinions are? Or if you do this.’

So far, the responses to the post have been very mixed, with some on the mother’s side and some not.

One person wrote: ‘It’s really expensive to cater for Christmas dinner for a lot of people.

‘I did it one year for my better off than me in laws angry. It cost me over £400.

‘If we do Christmas with my family, we will share cost of food or all bring different components of the dinner…

‘Don’t think of it as her charging you but instead think of it as you all contributing to the cost of the food.’

Christmas Family Dinner Table Concept; Shutterstock ID 517801342; Purchase Order: -
(Picture: Shutterstock)

However, others were totally against charging for Christmas dinner.

Someone else said: ‘OMG! No! F*ck, that is horrible.

‘We host Christmas: buy the turkey and pudding, everyone else brings a dish eg sausages in blankets etc. That shares the cost and the work.

‘Cannot think of anything less hospitable than setting the menu and demanding your ‘guests’ pay for it.’

Do you think it’s okay to charge your guests for Christmas dinner? Let us know in the comments below.

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Crisps withdrawn from sale for being ‘offensive to Welsh people’

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(Picture: Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)

Crisps containing a description of ‘Rhodri the coal miner’ have been withdrawn from shelves because they are ‘offensive’ to Welsh people.

The snacks, produced by the REAL Crisps, a brand owned by the Northern Ireland based , had a message on the back describing the life of Rhodri.

It said: ‘Meet Rhodri.

‘Or Rhondda Rodders to the lads down the Lamp & Helmet.

‘Like his father, his father and his father before him, this ‘Real’ Welshman was born to swing a pick.

‘But after work he’d rather pick a pack of his favourite Collier’s Powerful Welsh Rarebit crisps.

‘Forget other flavours, for him it has to be a bag of the black stuff and a taste so strong it’s put a canary on its back.’

But people weren’t happy with message and described it as ‘stereotyping’.

The company has apologised and have said they are delisting the product from sale.

Matthew Smith, Marketing Director for REAL Crisps said: ‘We are sorry for any distress that has been caused by the wording on the packets of our Welsh Rarebit flavoured crisps.

‘We certainly didn’t mean to be insensitive.

‘This product was launched over four years ago and fitted into our range where each flavour has its own tongue-in-cheek caricature.

‘Until now we had not received any feedback, however, recent comments pointing out how the story on the packet could be interpreted now seem really obvious but unfortunately we didn’t pick this up when we were designing the pack.

‘We have taken the comments on board and would like to apologise wholeheartedly.

‘We have also started delisting the product.

‘Our customers’ opinions are really important to us, we want them to enjoy REAL crisps and I hope that they will see that we are responding to their feedback.’

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Dog with rare medical condition has his very own high chair to help him eat

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A poorly dog with a rare medical condition is on the road to recovery thanks to a specially-designed high chair which helps him to eat.

Buck, a 17-month-old Labrador, suffers from megaesophagus – which means he cannot eat food without being sick unless he is held in an upright position.

University students and an animal charity teamed up to create a unique chair which holds him in place so he can eat.

Buck currently weighs just half of what he should at his age and once faced the prospect of starving to death and not living beyond his second birthday.

But with the help of the highchair it is now hoped he can start piling on the pounds and live a healthy and fulfilling life.

Buck was taken in by the charity Team Edward Labrador Rescue before his story was spotted by University of Nottingham vet and teaching associate, Emma Drinkall.

Along with her partner Nick Rowan, a senior lecturer in product design and engineering at De Montford University, the couple designed and built the chair in just a day.

A dog with a rare medical condition has been given a chair to help him eat. See SWNS story SWMDchair. Buck, a 17-month-old labrador, has a rare condition called megaesophagus which means he cannot eat food without vomiting it back up unless he is held in an upright position. He is half the size of a normal labrador and needs to eat to help fight the condition. Nottingham-based charity Team Edward Labrador Rescue took Buck in six weeks ago and, following a social media appeal, found a designer from Leicester's De Montfort University and vets at the University of Nottingham to help build the chair.
(Picture: Emma Drinkall / SWNS.com)

The high chair has been designed so that Emma and Nick can continue to adapt it as Buck hopefully gains weight and grows in the future.

Buck has not regurgitated since using the chair and his carers have put him on a high calorie puppy food diet to help him improve his strength.

Emma, from the University of Nottingham’s School of Veterinary Medicine and Science, said: ‘We saw the Buck’s story on social media, and I knew we just had to do something if he was going to have a chance.

‘Luckily Nick and I have the combined expertise and experience to build the chair quickly.

‘There is currently no surgery available for dogs with this condition, and as Buck is already receiving the medications that can help, the one thing other thing that could help him keep his food down is gravity itself.

‘Being upright while feeding will help the food drip through the sphincter that controls access to his stomach.

A dog with a rare medical condition has been given a chair to help him eat. See SWNS story SWMDchair. Buck, a 17-month-old labrador, has a rare condition called megaesophagus which means he cannot eat food without vomiting it back up unless he is held in an upright position. He is half the size of a normal labrador and needs to eat to help fight the condition. Nottingham-based charity Team Edward Labrador Rescue took Buck in six weeks ago and, following a social media appeal, found a designer from Leicester's De Montfort University and vets at the University of Nottingham to help build the chair.
(Picture: Emma Drinkall / SWNS.com)

‘Dogs with megaoesophagus are at risk of developing very serious chest infections which can prove fatal, because they can accidentally breathe in food particles when they regurgitate their food.

‘We hope that by feeding Buck this way and stopping him from regurgitating we will minimise the risk of this additional complication developing. Wendy, Team Edward Labrador Rescue, David Bucks’ foster Dad, and Laura Buck’s Vet have all done an amazing job with Buck so far.’

Nick said: ‘I’m just so pleased with how it fits, how comfortably he sits in it and how happy he is to be fed like this.

‘He is the same width in his shoulders as our own 5 kilo Jack Russell, so without meeting Buck ourselves, we had to double check his measurements during the build – it just didn’t seem right for a big dog like a Labrador.’

Vet Laura Pearce, from the Lawrence Veterinary Centre in Eastwood, Notts., has been Buck’s vet since he was rescued by the charity.

She said: ‘I am actually surprised that Buck has lived as long as he has with this condition.

‘His oesophagus is abnormal in that it’s enlarged and has lost its tube-like state that pushes food through to the stomach.

‘It means little of the food he eats actually makes it into his stomach for digestion, most gets stuck in pouches in the oesophagus or is regurgitated again.’

A dog with a rare medical condition has been given a chair to help him eat. See SWNS story SWMDchair. Buck, a 17-month-old labrador, has a rare condition called megaesophagus which means he cannot eat food without vomiting it back up unless he is held in an upright position. He is half the size of a normal labrador and needs to eat to help fight the condition. Nottingham-based charity Team Edward Labrador Rescue took Buck in six weeks ago and, following a social media appeal, found a designer from Leicester's De Montfort University and vets at the University of Nottingham to help build the chair.
(Picture: Emma Drinkall / SWNS.com)

Buck weighed only 17kg (37.4lbs) when he was taken in by the charity Team Edward.

Wendy Hopewell, who runs Team Edward, said: ‘We were really shocked.

‘The previous owner said they were really struggling to feed him but when I saw him I thought ‘wow, I’ve never seen a labrador that thin before

‘It was just the most fabulous sight to see Buck eating in the chair and happy to be in it.

‘To see how he sat in it straight away and get stuck in was incredible, it just pulls at your heartstrings.’

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When is Christmas Jumper Day 2018 and how to donate to Save the Children?

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Get your Christmas Jumper out! (Picture: Getty)

If you are into festive knitwear and raising money for a good cause then we are coming up to your favourite 24 hours of the year – Christmas Jumper Day.

Every year people across the country stick on their finest Christmas jumpers and raise money for Save the Children in the process.

thumbnail for post ID 8182963Hugh Hefner's iconic red jacket and sailor hat set to make thousands at charity auction

So if you have a ridiculous jumper with Santa, Rudolph, elves or anything else Christmassy on it, then this is the day to don it with pride.

Here is everything you need to know about Christmas Jumper Day this year and how to help raise money for it…

There are so many options for Christmas Jumper Day (Picture: Getty)

When is Christmas Jumper Day 2018?

Christmas Jumper Day 2018 comes around on Friday 14 December.

Who organises Christmas Jumper Day?

Save the Children have run the money-raising event since it debuted in December 2012.

You can sign up on the Save the Children site to get your free fundraising kit.

They recommend a donation of £2 per person who is involved, or £1 if you are taking part in a school.

Where does the money raised go?

Save The Children is a charity dedicated to helping children (and their parents) around the world.

The money raised will go towards improving the lives of children across the world.

Your donations will help keep children warm, provide them with protection from easily preventable diseases, and help to educate them.

How to donate to Save the Children

If you are organising Christmas Jumper Day at your work, school or uni, or you just want to donate as an individual then it is very straightforward.

All you need to do is head here to send the money into Save the Children.

Get the dogs involved (Picture: Getty)

Don’t forget to post about your activities on social media to spread the word even further, using the hashtag #Christmasjumperday.

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Cloutlighting is the obnoxious and abusive social media trend that you’ve probably retweeted

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(Picture: Getty)

There are some pretty distressing videos online – one of a fish giving a man a blowjob came up on my Twitter feed the other day, for example.

It’s easy to become desensitised to horrific images and ones of a sexual nature, even if you realise they’re screwed up.

That does mean, though, that we’re often oblivious to more insidiously terrible things going on online.

A video went viral this week that showed a woman crying because her boyfriend had eaten her food while she was downstairs getting something.

I’m not going to share to protect the identities of those involved, but the boyfriend was the one filming, as he laughed at her and said ‘it’s just a rib’ and urged her to get over it.

She’s clearly upset, and telling him that it wasn’t about him eating her last rib, it was about the fact she’d had a bad day and was looking forward to her meal, so had asked him not to.

The video received tens of thousands of retweets, with plenty of people commenting crying laughing emojis and offering up witticisms like ‘this is my gf when she’s hungry.’

Of course, we don’t know the ins and outs of this particular couple’s relationship. If you saw it and it made you feel uneasy, however, you’re not alone.

Women began talking about the emotions they felt when they viewed the video, and sharing their experiences of being made to feel like their grievances in relationships were frivolous and unimportant.

Because that’s the main point – it’s never about the rib.

This looks like gaslighting – plain and simple – except worse, because it’s online for all to see: We’re calling it cloutlighting.

Glossary of terms

Gaslighting: ‘A form of psychological manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilise the victim and delegitimise the victim’s belief.’

Clout: ‘A teen colloquialism for influence. This can manifest in a few different ways: money, Instagram/Twitter/Tumblr followers, actual fame, some combination of all of the above.’

It’s something of a trend online, where extreme behaviour gets the biggest reaction (and therefore the most ‘clout’ and chance for potential monetisation).

We’ve seen it with prank videos, where so-called content creators invent genuinely horrific scenarios to shock their partners or friends, and expect it all to be laughed off as ‘just a joke’ once the camera stops rolling.

They feature faked deaths, of themselves or the pair’s children; essentially re-enacting your worst nightmares all in the name of views.

Then we have the parents (remember FamilyOFive?), who use their children as pawns to provide the sick entertainment those on the other end of the screen so clearly desire.

Plus, of course, the couple videos where one person is made to look irrational while being told they’re upset about nothing or talked down to.

What all cloutlighting videos have in common is the baiting of an unwilling subject on camera, with the clear intention of upsetting them for cheap laughs or shock value.

People who have been in abusive relationships might recognise the behaviour displayed.

When you’re being gaslit, none of your issues matter. It can be something as small as dishes not being done, or as big as being cheated on.

Regardless of the problem, your partner (or parent or friend) will live by the narcissist’s prayer:

That didn’t happen.

And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.

And if it was, that’s not a big deal.

And if it is, that’s not my fault.

And if it was, I didn’t mean it.

And if I did…

You deserved it.

Gaslighting is part of a pattern of abuse that seeks to make you feel you need to question the validity of everything you do. It may then escalate into other forms of abuse, or it may not.

The thing is, though, gaslighting is nothing new. The process of it being plastered all over social media is.

Many of us might not notice that the silly two-minute video we’re seeing includes some worrying themes.

This is likely in part due to the fact we see only an isolated incident, rather than realising it’s likely not a one-time thing (which can go some way to explaining why the person in the video is upset by something we may consider small).

Pack mentality also must play some sort of part in this; the same as when the teacher tells an off-key joke and everyone laughs whether it’s funny or not.

Is it that funny to see someone be made to cry? No. Do people join in the revelry like villagers in Frankenstein’s Monster? Definitely.

In terms of where are as ‘innocent bystanders’ we could all be doing more.

Stop sharing videos where people are being teased, manipulated, baited, or tormented.

Take a minute to think about the context of your content, and whether you’re really having a sense of humour failure or if there are genuine warning signs being displayed.

Call reg flags out when you see them, and provide to support to those who need it.

If you’re in a relationship where this has become an issue, it might be time to assess how things are going in general.

We spoke to Ammanda Major, Head of Clinical Practice at Relate about the phenomenon when it comes to couple:

‘Playing pranks on partners who aren’t ‘in’ on the joke and then sharing their reaction online is both cruel and abusive and probably says quite a bit about the level of trust and care in a relationship.

‘Even if you’re in on the ‘joke’, unless you’re feeling completely confident and happy about why your partner thinks it would be good idea to do this, you may want to ask yourself if you feel under pressure to go along with it.

‘Online pranks like these often arise when the couple have different ideas about what’s hurtful in a relationship, so it’s best to try and work out where you’re both coming from and what’s ok from the start.’

Ask yourself whether it was just an ill-judged incident, or if it’s part of a common theme with you both.

If it reveals some truths that might be difficult or scary, consider getting help from the likes of The National Domestic Violence Helpline or Relate.

There’s a story behind every viral meme, and it’s always a lot more complex than we can see.

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