Articles on this Page
- 01/10/19--03:45: _People are criticis...
- 01/10/19--03:51: _Granny, 80, finally...
- 01/10/19--04:01: _Psychiatric workers...
- 01/10/19--05:55: _Model with Down’s S...
- 01/10/19--06:22: _Women reveal all th...
- 01/10/19--07:21: _Back-cracking is th...
- 01/10/19--07:24: _Getting Freaky: Is ...
- 01/10/19--07:38: _Bumble has a new st...
- 01/10/19--08:12: _Man who had suicida...
- 01/10/19--09:10: _Pepper sandwiches a...
- 01/10/19--09:16: _Black Mirror’s Hang...
- 01/10/19--22:39: _Bride’s ‘aggressive...
- 01/10/19--23:28: _Yoga skin is the ne...
- 01/11/19--00:21: _The ‘shmile’ is the...
- 01/11/19--01:40: _A Benefit Cosmetics...
- 01/11/19--01:50: _Red phone box in Le...
- 01/11/19--01:57: _How to sext better ...
- 01/11/19--02:33: _Mum shares moment h...
- 01/11/19--04:00: _All black women wan...
- 01/11/19--04:35: _Which foods are hig...
- 01/10/19--04:01: Psychiatric workers struggle with their mental health too
- 01/10/19--09:10: Pepper sandwiches are now a thing – but we’re not sure why
- 01/10/19--09:16: Black Mirror’s Hang the DJ app is real thanks to this man
- Cleanse and prep your skin as normal, making sure to let your skincare absorb fully before moving on.
- Apply a small amount of silicone-free primer over the skin, and allow to sink in.
- Mixing time! Into a small pot or bowl, pop in 3-4 pumps of your favourite liquid foundation. I recommend a sheer to medium coverage formula, preferably water-based – this definitely isn’t a look for a full-coverage foundation.
- Add in one drop of your favourite skincare facial oil.
- To the mix, add in one drop of strobe cream or a liquid highlighter. For this look, golden tones work best. For an incredible shine to the skin, you can add in one small drop of glow drops.
- Begin massaging your skin mix into your face using your hands, not a brush. This does many things: it gets the circulation flowing, it relaxes you, de-puffs the skin, and makes your base sit better too. Build up your coverage in layers until you’re happy with the look. I’d recommend leaving a few minutes in between layers to allow each one to sink in and settle.
- For added coverage, blend a small amount of a liquid concealer in the areas you want more cover – like under the eyes, around the nose or over any blemishes. Remember not to overdo this step, this look is about ‘real skin’ and we want to see as much of it as we can.
- Armani Luminous Silk foundation
- Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse Riche facial oil OR
- Kiehl’s Daily Reviving Concentrate facial oil
- Charlotte Tilbury Wonder Glow base OR
- Kevyn Aucoin The Celestial Skin Liquid Lighting strobe cream
- Revolution Liquid Highlighter drops
- 01/11/19--01:50: Red phone box in Lewisham has been converted into a mini library
- 01/11/19--01:57: How to sext better than Jeff Bezos
- 01/11/19--04:35: Which foods are high in fibre? How to get your daily allowance
Poundland has been criticised for selling ‘booby’ and ‘booty’ marshmallows you’re encouraged to squeeze… without also selling squishy balls or penis sweets.
The marshmallows, costing 50p (yep, 50p in Poundland), are shaped as bums and breasts, and come packaged with phrases including ‘be gentle’ and ‘squidge my cheeks’.
Gemma Aitchison, who spotted the sweets in Bolton, Manchester, tweeted to ask Poundland what message they were trying to send with marshmallows shaped like women’s body parts.
She said: ‘What exactly are you trying to say with these products, Poundland, to the families who come in store?
‘No sign of any male things to sexually assault. No testicles to grab at? Why do we have candy like this, usually made for children?
‘I know they are marshmallows and I understand that marshmallows aren’t the end of the world.
‘But I also know that sexual objectification is linked to violence and, for companies, profit.
‘Corporations create and profit from sexual objectification but don’t want any responsibility for it. We need to call them out on this.’
Other critics suggested that the marshmallows encouraged the ‘sexualisation and objectification of women’, questioning how Poundland thought the range would be ‘acceptable’.
Josephine wrote: ‘Oh my goodness. That is APPALLING. The sexualisation and objectification of women even in marshmallow form?
‘And that pornified illustration… I’m absolutely flabbergasted that anyone thought these names and illustrations were in any way acceptable.
‘Like something out of an Ann Summers catalogue. Dear lord, Poundland, it’s still 1972 in your stores.
‘This is an absolute disgrace. So damaging to normalise such appalling sexism and objectification.’
Another Twitter user said they were disappointed ‘to see porn culture at Poundland’, while another called the marshmallows ‘gross, misogynist, and, unsurprisingly, also perverted’.
Emma wrote: ‘Poundland, can you explain why on earth you are selling these sexist products?
‘Have you thought about the impact they might have on women & children reading the packaging?’
We approached Poundland for their response. They told Metro.co.uk: ‘If something’s offended you, we won’t force you to buy it. It’s fine for you to look the other way and ignore it.
‘Here at Poundland, we think it’s ok that sometimes we don’t always get it right for everyone. Because, frankly it’s impossible to do that.
‘Just because someone doesn’t like something we do, we also believe that doesn’t give them the automatic right to stop us doing it for thousands of other people who like it.’
Sexist sweetsSexist sweetsellencscottMarshmallow Booty and Boobies sold in the sweet aisle of Poundland, Bristol. SWBRboobs; Shocked customers have slammed bargain store Poundland as "appalling" and "misogynistic" - for selling marshmallows shaped like BREASTS and BUM CHEEKS. The sexist candy can be spotted on shelves for the bargain price of just 50p, in the store's 'Novelty' section - and shoppers are outraged that the sweets are at children's height. The packaging on the sweets bares the phrases "Be gentle" and "Squidge my cheeks" - and one customer pointed out there was no sign of any male counterparts. Gemma Aitchison, who spotted the sweets in Bolton, Greater Manchester, wrote on Twitter: "What exactly are you trying to say with these products, Poundland, to the families who come in store?Marshmallow Booty and Boobies sold in the sweet aisle of Poundland, Bristol. SWBRboobs; Shocked customers have slammed bargain store Poundland as "appalling" and "misogynistic" - for selling marshmallows shaped like BREASTS and BUM CHEEKS. The sexist candy can be spotted on shelves for the bargain price of just 50p, in the store's 'Novelty' section - and shoppers are outraged that the sweets are at children's height. The packaging on the sweets bares the phrases "Be gentle" and "Squidge my cheeks" - and one customer pointed out there was no sign of any male counterparts. Gemma Aitchison, who spotted the sweets in Bolton, Greater Manchester, wrote on Twitter: "What exactly are you trying to say with these products, Poundland, to the families who come in store?The novelty candy lables 'Boobies' and 'Booty' which are being offered for sale in Poundland. SWBRboobs; Shocked customers have slammed bargain store Poundland as "appalling" and "misogynistic" - for selling marshmallows shaped like BREASTS and BUM CHEEKS. The sexist candy can be spotted on shelves for the bargain price of just 50p, in the store's 'Novelty' section - and shoppers are outraged that the sweets are at children's height. The packaging on the sweets bares the phrases "Be gentle" and "Squidge my cheeks" - and one customer pointed out there was no sign of any male counterparts. Gemma Aitchison, who spotted the sweets in Bolton, Greater Manchester, wrote on Twitter: "What exactly are you trying to say with these products, Poundland, to the families who come in store?Marshmallow Booty and Boobies sold in the sweet aisle of Poundland, Bristol. SWBRboobs; Shocked customers have slammed bargain store Poundland as "appalling" and "misogynistic" - for selling marshmallows shaped like BREASTS and BUM CHEEKS. The sexist candy can be spotted on shelves for the bargain price of just 50p, in the store's 'Novelty' section - and shoppers are outraged that the sweets are at children's height. The packaging on the sweets bares the phrases "Be gentle" and "Squidge my cheeks" - and one customer pointed out there was no sign of any male counterparts. Gemma Aitchison, who spotted the sweets in Bolton, Greater Manchester, wrote on Twitter: "What exactly are you trying to say with these products, Poundland, to the families who come in store?
When you’re old, you can do pretty much whatever the hell you want.
One grandma who always wanted to colour her hair but was unable to due to strict parents and then later a strict husband was finally able to do the deed, aged 80.
Alayde Menna Barreto, from Brazil, didn’t just want to go for a wee makeover either, she decided to dye her whole hair bright green.
When the transformation was revealed to the grandmother, she burst out in smiles and giggles and the heartwarming reaction has now gone viral.
Bruno Barreto filmed the moment his grandmother Alayde Menna Barreto saw her locks had turned green after they were dyed by his mother Julia.
The grandson says that retired teacher Alayde had always wanted to dye her hair but never did it because of strict parents and her husband discouraging her from changing the colour.
But when her husband passed away two years ago, Alayde realised that life was too short to worry about hair.
So she decided to copy the style she had seen on young girls in the area.
‘We were all together talking about some plans, and she said that dyeing her hair was something she never had the chance to do,’ said Bruno, from Santa Catarina, Brazil.
‘She was so happy about it. Green is her favourite colour.
‘She had really strict parents, and later when she was married her husband never encouraged her.
‘Sadly he passed away two years ago but now she’s trying to enjoy the good things in her life.
‘She said that the time is passing by, and she needs to do the things she was always wanted to. She said that lately she was seeing a lot of young girls with cool colored hair and she wanted to do that.’
The grandma-of-three was filmed shrieking in excitement as the finished look was revealed to her in the mirror.
The video has turned Alayde into everyone’s favourite grandma, racking up almost 80,000 views online.
Alayde now hopes her video inspires others to ‘do whatever they have always wanted but been too afraid to do’.
She said: ‘I love my new hair colour. I don’t know why I waited so long to do it.
‘This week two younger girls talked to me and said that they loved my hair, now I’m planning to switch every month to a new colour.’
She wants people, regardless of age, to do that one thing they always wanted to but were too scared to do.
There is a common misunderstanding that psychiatric nurses must somehow be immune from experiencing mental illness themselves. If only.
We are, in fact, no different to anyone else, despite having knowledge and understanding about different mental conditions, as well as their causes and treatments.
Back in 1980, during my early years of being a psychiatric nurse, I worked within a definite ‘macho’ culture – sharing our emotions at work was not actively encouraged and perceived by many as showing weakness.
Because of this, I grew to be in total denial of my own depression, and had to go on sick leave to recover.
This was a turning point in my life, and rather than a breakdown I see it now as a breakthrough.
I discovered that I’d been telling myself I was mentally stronger than I actually was, masking a lot of the symptoms that I was experiencing.
Many conditions may be genetic, many are caused by social and environmental factors, and many stress. Often all three combined. And mental health nurses can experience these causal factors in their lives and personal circumstances.
We are as fallible and as vulnerable as anybody.
Sometimes, we are even more susceptible, because many psychiatric nurses stigmatise themselves for their own mental health issues. Many are in ‘denial’ of their susceptibility to becoming unwell themselves, because they wrongly assume they must always be in control.
They must never show weakness, never let the mask slip. This sends out a false message, promoting an ideal world when such a world does not exist.
It suggests that as nurses we cannot really be aware of the experiences of others who are struggling because we do not have these experiences ourselves.
But how can we truly empathise with others if we do not understand their experiences?
Twenty five years ago when I said I wanted to make a difference and challenge the stigma and discrimination of mental health my manager said I needed to start within my own profession.
Our physical and mental wellbeing, and how we can protect both, remains no different to that of the general public. To assume anything else is delusional and dangerous.
I have always found being open and honest about my feelings is a strength rather than a weakness.
If I can display my own sensitivities, I believe that I can empathise more. I am more genuine, I can be trusted more, and this results in a more therapeutic relationship with my patients in the end.
Thankfully, in the 40 years I have been working within psychiatric nursing I have witnessed many positive changes. The padded cells have long since been removed.
Nobody wears white coats anymore.
A tranquilising injection is not the established answer to most mental health symptoms. There is now advocacy, empowerment, autonomy and negotiation around care given. It is individualised and holistic care. People now have their human rights acknowledged.
Derogatory phrases such as lunatic, nutter, maniac and psycho are not now commonly used. All of this has made it far easier and acceptable to speak about mental health outside the profession, and within. Unfortunately, I still think there is a long way to go when it comes to psychiatric workers feeling comfortable talking about their own problems.
Twenty five years ago when I said I wanted to make a difference and challenge the stigma and discrimination of mental health my manager said I needed to start within my own profession. And this I did.
I believed that putting myself across as a positive role model might encourage others to be more open and gradually break down the walls of stigma and denial we were all surrounded by in our work.
Many supported my approach but some have also felt I was ‘letting the side down’ by highlighting that mental nurses were no different to anyone else really when it came to life’s struggles, stresses, and coping mechanisms.
Staff are also wary of being seen as vulnerable themselves in a profession such as the NHS that is forever under the public spotlight.
My concerns about going on sick leave back in 2005 were also borne out of this misguided belief. I had lost the insight, as with many who suffer from severe depressive conditions, into how ill I had really become.
I believe that many others in my profession are still in denial of their mental health and their susceptibility to becoming mentally ill.
There certainly isn’t a gene in our makeup that provides us with complete immunity. I remain cautiously optimistic that stigma will eventually be removed from mental health, but probably not in my lifetime.
I will continue to play my part, however small, and encourage others to do likewise.
I’ve accepted praise and criticism for what I do in equal measure.
If I am praised, I believe my work may motivate others to do likewise. If I am criticised, at least it means people are talking about mental health.
Bringing stigma out into the open is where it needs to be in order to acknowledge it is there and finally remove it once and for all.
What it's really like to be admitted to a psychiatric hospitalWhat it's really like to be admitted to a psychiatric hospitalcharleyross92What it's really like to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital
Kate Grant, who has Down’s Syndrome, is quite the esteemed model.
The 20-year-old from Co Tyrone, Northern Ireland, was crowned champion in the Teen Ultimate Beauty Of The World pageant, modelled on the catwalk at Belfast Fashion Week, and also appeared on ITV show This Morning.
And now she has become a brand ambassador for Benefit cosmetics.
The beauty brand chose her after an image of Kate wearing their eyeliner received a lot of love on their Instagram page.
The picture has already received nearly 5,000 likes.
‘She is paving the way for people coming behind her,’ said proud mum Deidre.
‘Kate is aware of that and wants to spread awareness about inclusion for people with disabilities and that is what she has done from the very start.
‘She is aware that she is able to do that in a way some of her friends cannot. She is using her voice for them.’
The role means she will represent Benefit, a company which sells its make-up at over 2,000 shops in more than 30 countries globally.
‘She has a great drive to be a supermodel,’ added Deidre.
‘I love her optimism and as her mum I would always be there to support her in that optimism.
‘When you are young you think the sky is the limit and with Kate she does not have the understanding that we have, that there are obstacles in the way.
‘She does not allow obstacles to be in the way or her disability to stand in the way. She would say Down’s Syndrome does not define me – I am Kate.’
Social media users have commended Benefit for using Kate to represent their brand and commented on the image in their droves.
One wrote: ‘What an inspirational young lady, thank you Benefit for the heartwarming equal chances with your models. And for the amazing makeup obviously.’
This is exactly the kind of representation we need to see more of.
Model with Down's Syndrome becomes brand ambassador for Benefit cosmeticsModel with Down's Syndrome becomes brand ambassador for Benefit cosmeticsfaimabakar1Undated handout photo of Kate Grant from Cookstown in Co Tyrone who has become a brand ambassador for cosmetics giant Benefit. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Thursday January 10, 2019. The model with Down's Syndrome is blazing a trail for others with disabilities, her mother said. See PA story ULSTER Model. Photo credit should read: Belfast Fashionweek /PA Wire NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used in for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder.Undated handout photo of Kate Grant from Cookstown in Co Tyrone who has become a brand ambassador for cosmetics giant Benefit. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Thursday January 10, 2019. The model with Down's Syndrome is blazing a trail for others with disabilities, her mother said. See PA story ULSTER Model. Photo credit should read: CMPR Models/PA Wire NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used in for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder.
Are you a woman? Have you dared to share an opinion or experience online?
If so, then it might’ve caused a man to become disproportionately upset (or maybe they’ll just passive-aggressively respond to your tweet tagging the Didn’t Happen of the Year Awards).
Writer Geraldine DeRuiter put the question to women on Twitter to see all the times men have overreacted to the minor views women have shared online.
The conversation began when she revealed how she’d received rape and death threats after she dyed milk pink to prank her husband.
Others shared similar stories which will have you saying ‘well, that escalated quickly’.
Worryingly, most of the inconsequential topics women spoke of ended with rape or murder threats.
‘I tweeted in a light and humourous way that a man on the plane I was on boarded wearing a full set of pyjamas instead of actual clothing and I was told I was a dumb b*tch who deserves to be murdered,’ wrote fellow writer Cheryl Strayed.
Author Nikita Gill revealed: ‘I said “women are not hospitals, they are people with their own trauma to heal.” and got a death threat over it.’
Art director Darci Read, who created a quilt with the words ‘women’s rights are human rights’, also got death and physical harm threats over it.
While some of the stories were funny and show the way men overreact on the internet, there are dark patterns that emerged; black women and women of colour have been getting the worst comments from trolls.
A study from Amnesty International last year saw that women are abused online every 30 seconds with black women 84% more likely than white women to be mentioned in abusive or problematic tweets.
British politicians and journalists have been bearing the brunt of most online abuse, something I can attest to, having been sent emails, tweets, and even Instagram DMs from men with unwarranted things to say.
Thankfully, Geraldine’s tweets, and that of so many other women online, have alerted some men to the risk of knee-jerk reactions.
Some men commented on the tweets, apologising on behalf of their species and agreeing that the internet may have been a mistake.
It’s not the first time women have demonstrated how men have been guilty of mansplaining, overreacting, and undermining women and it certainly won’t be the last.
In the meantime, we can only laugh at some of these.
Here are a few more gold examples of men being bad on the internet:
But at least this one man got it
Women reveal all the minor things theyve said thats caused men to become very very angry onlineWomen reveal all the minor things theyve said thats caused men to become very very angry onlinefaimabakar1
People are weird.
We do plenty of things that make no real sense, but that bring us satisfaction, or let us be lazy, or for reasons we don’t quite understand.
Keeping loads of tabs open, for example. Spending so long taking a picture of our breakfast that it goes cold.
Or, the classic strange thing: enjoying watching pimples getting popped and ingrown hairs being slid out of their cosy skin cocoons.
It turns out there’s another genre of physical satisfaction that fits the ‘gross but oddly soothing’ definition: back cracking.
Videos of people having their necks and spines ‘cracked’ by chiropractors are big business right now, attracting millions of views from loyal fans known as ‘crackheads’.
Yep, crackheads. That’s what they’re calling themselves.
Emma Kelly is a crackhead who describes videos by Dr Joseph Cipriano as her ‘drug’.
The chiropractic physician from South Carolina shares videos of his treatments of patients with titles like ‘LOUD *Chiropractic Cracks* with Full Body Adjustment’ and ‘*CRAVING for a Crack*’. He has more 138,000 subscribers, and one of his most popular videos, showing a woman being ‘cracked’ for the first time, has been viewed eight million times.
‘Every person displayed in my videos are real, actual patients,’ writes Dr Cipriano on his account description. ‘I enjoying teaching and showing the world how and why I do what I do.’
Emma tells us the videos are the perfect combination of relaxing and satisfying. She’ll occasionally watch the videos when she’s struggling to sleep, then find herself in a crackhead hole.
‘It relaxes me and it is so satisfying hearing the cracks – I’m assuming in the way it is for people who like pimple popping videos, which I can’t stomach,’ says Emma. ‘Also, I have a bad back and that could be a big part of it.’
Emma has had chiropractic work done before, and gets satisfaction from having one of her own knots or cracks worked out.
There’s an element of vicarious enjoyment.
‘As people are sitting at their desks for hours on end in less than ideal positions, inevitably a visit to the osteopath or physio will follow,’ Marc Hekster, consultant clinical psychologist at The Summit Clinic, tells Metro.co.uk.
‘Similar to clicking of knuckles and finger, there is a perceived relief in the idea that when there is a click, tension is released. This is certainly the case from my own personal experience at the osteopath.
‘To watch videos online of backs being clicked may represent a different version of relief through hearing the sound, to be mesmerised by the apparent release of pressure.
‘To be told by a YouTube Osteo that this is the click, and this pressure is now released may be perceived to be a relief. The viewer while not necessarily experiencing physical relief, may encounter emotional calmness to see another person in pain, no longer in pain.’
It acts as an easy way for us to access the relief of having our backs twisted and cracked, without the fear of, well, actually having it done.
‘Watching people have chiropractic treatment done is a proxy for yourself having that treatment done, and this can result in relief of pain, tension, and a general increase in wellbeing,’ explains psychologist Daria Kuss.
But don’t worry, enjoying these videos doesn’t mean you’re a monster taking pleasure in someone else’s pain.
We’re not actually enjoying watching someone get their spine twisted, but the relief they experience as a result. It’s just like pimple popping – the high point comes when the pressure is released and the pimple has been fully squeezed.
‘It’s less about the discomfort that other people experience that we enjoy, and more about the relief of pain and tension, which can vicariously lead to feelings of relaxation and stress-relief in ourselves,’ Daria tells us.
‘The sounds of backs cracking are often associated with the spine being readjusted to the way it should naturally be, and therefore this can lead to the experience of relaxation and satisfaction.
‘Experiencing satisfaction vicariously by watching others experiencing it is a healthy human reaction, whereby limbic resonance is created in the brain. This is why I feel what you feel.
‘Limbic resonance triggers our basic social predisposition to empathise with others, leading to the experience of similar emotions, in this case, relief of tension and increase in wellbeing.’
And, of course, the cracks, crunches, and relieved moans fit neatly into the ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) hype, sending tingles down your spine and making you feel that strange combination of grossed and blissed out.
So, crackheads, you’re perfectly normal. Go forth and listen to the crunch of a woman’s spine to your heart’s content.
The modern equivalent of the immaculate conception is the toilet seat pregnancy; never having sex, but finding yourself with child after sitting on a spermy loo seat.
It was the stuff of legends when we were young, when sex education consisted of putting a condom on a banana and watching a video of a baby being born.
Not on the fault of teachers, of course, but there just wasn’t enough time to go through every in or out of what goes on inside or outside our bodies.
That meant that ideas like ‘you can get pregnant from a toilet seat’ were considered possible by teenagers.
After all, if you just need sperm to enter your vagina somehow, and your vagina might come into contact with objects like toilet seats, does it really seem that far-fetched?
Even if you know more about anatomy nowadays, there are news stories of people saying they got pregnant by ghosts or people who have physical signs of pregnancy manifest, but there’s no actual pregnancy.
It might not be completely out of the realm of possibility to be pregnant without having sex (not including artificial insemination, of course), despite not being likely. So what is the truth?
Let Getting Freaky sort this all out. We’re like Brainiac’s John Tickle – except for shagging.
Sorry to go back to being your PSHE teacher, but we’d better start with a quick recap of how pregnancy typically happens.
Yes, we know you know this, but let’s just do a quick refresher.
When two people love each other very much (or just happen to be bored and in the same bar that evening) they may have sex. When the man ejaculates, he releases semen into the woman’s vagina, and that semen will try to fertilise an egg. If that happens, so does pregnancy.
The journey for those sperm is a pretty treacherous one, and can often take days.
See, sperm can live for up to five days in the warm, wet conditions of a vagina, but not all of the sperm released during ejaculation (hundreds of millions, typically) make it that far.
It’s believed that the reason there is such an arduous trek for sperm to reach the egg (and the reason why millions are release but only one can win) is so that the healthiest ones win, and in turn make healthy babies.
What it does also mean, though, is that making that journey to fertilisation even harder will mean that the chances of conception are lower.
Let’s assume that someone has masturbated on a toilet seat and left it there without cleaning up. Rude, but this is the situation.
You go into the loo, innocently trying to have a wee, and accidentally miss the hole in the seat, instead placing yourself on the seat itself. In doing so, your vulva comes into contact with the sperm left by the person before you.
Think about how unrealistic this situation is for starters. You can almost completely discount it ever happening to you, but again, it’s not totally impossible.
From there, you have to think about the sperm’s long way up. Sperm will be dead by the time the semen is dry, which takes away any chance of getting pregnant if this contact happens at this point (usually about a few minutes).
If it happens before the semen dries, and comes into contact with your vulva before the 20 minute mark, there is a very, very, slim chance it could still make it inside.
This would also be dependent on how warm and wet your genitals were at the time, the motility of the sperm released, and the viscosity of your cervical mucus, as well as the time between ejaculation and contact.
We work in hypotheticals here at Getting Freaky, and so we have to come to the conclusion that hypothetically it’s possible to become pregnant from sitting on a sperm-covered toilet seat.
The likelihood of this ever happening in real life, however, is miniscule. You’d have to recreate the most unnatural scenario to the letter, and even then it still probably wouldn’t happen.
Essentially, you’d have to be doing it on purpose under extremely specific conditions. There is pretty much no way it could ever happen accidentally.
So, pee freely friends, without fear of conception. Best to try to sit on the loo like a normal person anyway, though.
Until next week, freaks.
Can you get pregnant from a toilet seatCan you get pregnant from a toilet seatjessicacvlBaby in the Womb
No couple wants to be star crossed lovers. After all, look what happened to Romeo and Juliet.
Those who are astrologically inclined now have a new way to make sure you don’t end up with someone not astrologically compatible.
Bumble have introduced a new filter so you can remove all Geminis from your dating life (a good idea, to be honest) with the touch of a button.
They’re the first dating app to create such a filter, and have also added it to their Bumble BFF and Bumble Bizz settings.
It’s not just astrology you can look at; you can also filter by political leanings, faith and lifestyle preferences. Astrology is the most important, though, obviously.
‘We’ve been working internally and with our users to create just the right mix of filters that allow for deeper, more meaningful connections and we’re very pleased with what we’ve developed,’ said Alexandra Williamson, Bumble Chief of Brand.
‘Whether you’re looking for a new job in media, a new mom friend or a date with a Sagittarius who loves live music, Bumble Filters enable you to tailor your experience in a way that ultimately gives you more control of the kinds of relationships you’re looking to build.
You can pick two free filters on the app, and the rest are available as part of their Bumble Boost add-on. Choose wisely young padawan.
It might seem crazy to some, but a lot of people believe that certain signs simply go better together, and if you know you don’t like the qualities a Capricorn has, why try to fight it?
It also has the added benefit of no more trying to sneakily ask what their time of birth is in order to do their astrological chart. Thumbs up for not looking like a creeper.
Bumble introduces star sign filterBumble introduces star sign filterjessicacvl
A Londoner is attempting to run the length of the entire London Underground network in a drive to raise awareness about depression and mental health problems.
Dan Sherry aims to complete this ambitious route – which is more than 250 miles in total – in just 11 days.
Dan quit his job in order to dedicate a year of his life to completing intense challenges, all in the name of mental health awareness.
Today he is running the 46 miles of the Central Line, which is longer than two marathons.
And the kicker is – he doesn’t even like running.
‘I’m in agony,’ Dan tells Metro.co.uk.
We are speaking to him on his hands-free, mid-route, because his schedule is too tight to stop for chat.
He has enough breath to talk, but he doesn’t sound like he’s having fun.
‘It sounds horrible to say, but the chaffing, the blisters, I’ve got a shin splint on my left, my Achilles is ready to pop on my right.
‘Both of my knees are, for want of a better word, f***ked.
‘It’s pretty brutal, and it’s mentally a bit tough at the moment because the Central line is just so long.’
It’s no wonder it feels tough. Dan is nine days in to this 11-day challenge, and it must feel unending.
All the hard work is motivated by his passion for promoting mental health awareness. Dan himself has struggled with depression for most of his life, and he’s seen some incredibly dark days.
‘There was a long period of my life where I wanted to kill myself,’ he tells us.
‘I had stuff happen in my life that I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through.
‘I used to get the tube to work and every day, and for a solid six months, every day I would stand on the platform and seriously consider jumping in front of the tube.
‘I have had knives in my arm. I came very close, a number of times.
‘It sounds weird to say it, but despite this, I think of myself as a completely normal guy. I’m one of the happiest people I know – I’m lighthearted, I like messing around.
‘But that’s what depression is like – indiscriminate.’
Depression isn’t something that can be ‘cured’, it’s something you learn to live with and learn to manage. But Dan has come through the worst of it. He’s still here – and that’s a huge achievement.
‘It was the look in my mum’s eyes,’ explain’s Dan.
‘My mum’s dad took his own life. The circumstances were very strange, he just went wading out in to a river, it was incredibly sad.
‘So to see my aunt and mum both sitting there, crying at me, almost pleading – that made a massive difference.
‘From there I had a lot of counselling, and to this day I still have an incredible therapist who has been absolutely magnificent.
‘For me, it’s about being able to step back from a situation and actually take the time to asses how you’re reacting, why you’re reacting that way, how you could react differently – so basic CBT stuff really.
‘I would recommend that anyone go and see a therapist. But I realise that there’s still a stigma with it unfortunately.’
Dan worked in sports marketing, but he jacked in the corporate world to follow his passion and dedicate all his time to raising money for mental health charities.
In the last few months he has already cycled from London to the summit of the infamous Mt. Ventoux, and completed an Iron Man swim.
‘I gave up my job in April,’ explains Dan.
‘I just decided that I wanted to use my time to give back to the people who have helped me through some of my darkest times.
‘I wrote a Facebook status a few years ago about my depression. And although a few people knew what I had been going through, a lot of people didn’t really understand what depression was.
‘From that one post I had so many people connecting with me, asking me what’s the best way to get help – one guy opened up about the fact that he had lost his brother.
‘That was really what triggered in my mind that people really do need this help, and it’s just not talked about enough. So I knew then that I wanted to do something bigger to help the cause.
‘Mental health an under-talked-about issue in society. And it doesn’t discriminate. Mental health problems and depression can affect literally everyone.
‘My girlfriend is a vet, and vets are statistically four times more likely to commit suicide than the rest of the population.
At the core of Dan’s ideology is the idea that humans are capable of more than they think.
He says we rarely get the chance to give 100% of our potential capabilities – and putting himself through these arduous challenges is one way to get closer to this.
‘I hate running. It sounds ludicrous, but I absolutely hate running.
‘If you put a ball in front of me I’m like a dog with ADHD, I could play football for hours on end, but I’ve always hated running.
‘I’ve never been good at it, I’ve always been slightly overweight, and that’s why it’s a challenge.’
‘A true challenge to me is putting yourself outside of your comfort zone.
‘There’s nothing better in life than doing something that you have no right to be able to do.
‘If I can help raise awareness for an issue that is deep in my heart, and deep within my family, then it’s definitely worth all the physical pain that I’m going through.
‘Today I have already done a marathon, and I have got about the same distance to go again before I can go home. So it’s going to be a long, horrible day.
‘I’ve done eight of the 11 lines, and I have two more days to go until it’s finished.
‘I wanted to run the tube lines because I’m a Londoner born and bred. And it just looked so ridiculously hard to do, that I couldn’t not try it.
‘This challenge is as much mental as it physical, but I have a great group of mates and my girlfriend is being ridiculously supportive and they’ve all been amazing.’
‘My biggest fear is failure. I just don’t want to let people down. That’s what’s driving me and keeping me going.
Dan is raising money for the charity Mind. His aim is to raise £30,000 over the year.
To donate, you can visit Dan’s Just Giving page and pledge anything you like.
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It’s January and that means people are trying all sorts of weird and wonderful things to be healthier.
But one thing we didn’t expect was the creation of the pepper sandwich.
Now that’s not chopped up pepper in a normal sandwich, no no.
This ‘sandwich’ is where the two halves of a pepper replace the bread.
And a green pepper no less. Surely green is the worst of the peppers?
But we have to admit… it is a decent zero-carb lunch option.
And if you can manage to get your mouth around this veggie monstrosity – it might even be tasty.
The creation was devised by nutritionist Rachel Paul, known as Collegenutritionist on Instagram.
On her post, which has attracted more than 11,000 likes, she said that bell pepper sandwiches are the ‘coolest things ever’, and that they contain 4-5 ounces of protein.
Protein is good, but we’re still not sure we’re convinced.
Firstly, surely bread makes a better sandwich than a pepper? And secondly – how would you even go about eating this thing? Peppers are pretty huge.
We asked Rachel, but she didn’t seem too concerned about the criticism in some of the comments online.
‘You can cut down the size of the bell peppers by cutting off bits of the sides – so the “pieces of bread” become more flat,’ she tells Metro.co.uk.
‘Save the extra pepper pieces for a snack to dip in guac or salsa later in the day, or at the same meal.’
And, far from it being a silly idea, Rachel says her no-bread sandwich is a really nutritious way to get more water into your diet.
‘The water in veggies is actually very hydrating,’ explains Rachel.
‘Many people think you need to drink water to keep yourself hydrated – but water from non-starchy vegetables is very beneficial as well.
‘Also, the pepper is much lower in carbs and calories than bread, so you can save calories while staying full and satisfied, which makes it easier to manage your weight.’
It may help with weight-loss, but it’s the ‘full and satisfied’ claim that we’re not sure about.
Can anything really beat the satisfaction of biting into a sandwich with soft, doughy bread? We’re not sure.
And aside from the texture, it’s the choice of green pepper that’s also disconcerting for some.
The much maligned green pepper is most commonly found languishing in the back of the salad draw, slowly rotting as we repeatedly ignore it in favour of it’s sweeter yellow, orange and red brothers.
So maybe this is the answer. Maybe this alternative sandwich will breath new life into the humble green pepper. The only way to find out is to give it a try.
For the filling, you need a tomato, two slices of cheddar cheese and slices of turkey – which provides the protein. So it couldn’t be simpler.
And if you’re really averse to a green pepper, Rachel says there are plenty of other vegetables that will do the trick.
‘You really could use a variety of vegetables – cucumbers cut long-ways in half, portobello mushrooms, even big tomatoes,’ she says.
‘The peppers don’t have to be green either. Choose yellow, red or orange if you prefer.’
The reaction online hasn’t been the kindest. One Instagram user wrote simply, ‘yuck’, while another commented, ‘the horror.’
But not everyone is repulsed – emys_eats wrote, ‘so cute, love the idea.’
So where do you stand?
Remember that episode of Black Mirror? You know the one, it’s only the best thing to grace any Netflix show ever.
If Hang the DJ – a story about an app that lets couples know of their relationship lifespan – completely exploded your brains and instantly became the best thing you’ve ever set your eyes on then we have news for you.
One ambitious man has decided to create the app that predicts how long you have with a partner before you inevitably break up.
Juliet is the Artificial Intelligence powered app created by Julian Alexander, a 24-year-old self-taught programmer and entrepreneur from America.
Julian explained to Metro.co.uk that instead of being met with an overwhelming amount of profiles, you get one match – for a certain period of time (you’ll have a few basic things in common i.e sexual orientation and location).
Once that relationship is over, both users fill in a questionnaire so the AI can analyse and pick the next best match, doing it over and over again until it finds the one.
The first few matches will be a series of speed dates, explained Julian, only to allow Juliet to get an idea of your type..
‘My inspiration for Juliet was to focus on building a real relationship,’ Julian told Metro.co.uk.
‘While other apps on the market focus on a quantity approach, by matching the user with as many people possible with little to no compatibility. I wanted to focus on a quality approach, by matching users with one person at a time. With this method, people really get a chance to make a real connection.’
The app is now live and you can download it via iOS for free. Julian adds that over 1,000 people have already signed up to, added Julian.
But there are a few teething problems, like not letting you choose your sexual orientation once you’ve initially chosen (so no room for fluidity or mistakes).
Some have reported on Reddit that it doesn’t provide the option to pick a sexual orientation.
Julian explained that it’s still a work in progress but once smoothed over, will also become available in the UK and countries in the EU.
In the Black Mirror episode, one couple decided to ignore the expiration and be together, rendering themselves free from the simulation that the app they were stuck in was running – (just watch the episode).
Though the show was widely loved, Julian’s real-life app received some skepticism.
‘I think you are not accounting for the elusive chemistry in romantic relationships; that is, the degree of feelings for another person does not perfectly correlate with the degree of quantifiable compatibility,’ wrote one person.
‘The fact that you are tantalised into waiting for something “better” is a flawed idea of this app. You may be passing up the relationship of a lifetime. It’s a gimmick and many people will fall into the trap and remain single, simply because they won’t “settle” and both parties have to agree.’
‘The idea of a programme finding you love is very reductionist, and quite frankly, insulting to the romantic and spiritual side of humanity,’ said another.
Or perhaps the app exists for the most meta purpose of all; finding someone to delete the app with.
Maybe that’s the point of it all. Whoah.
Man creates Black Mirror's Hang the DJ style dating appMan creates Black Mirror's Hang the DJ style dating appfaimabakar1Man creates Black Mirror's Hang the DJ style dating app
Yep, it’s time for another bride who’s let the stress of planning a wedding get to her head.
At least she’s not throwing a polygraph party.
A bride-to-be has been slammed on social media for her save the date cards, which have a lengthy list of demands for anyone who wants to come to the wedding.
The main requirement? Money. Lots of money. Each guest is expected to save $5,000 (£3,918) so they can cover their travel to Southeast Asia, where the wedding will take place. They’ll also need to take at least two weeks off work. Simple.
One of the invited guests shared the save the date cards on Facebook, describing the list as a tad ‘aggressive’.
It reads: ‘The wedding will be held over in an Asian country (Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, ect [sic]). One of the above we haven’t decided.
‘The flights over range from 10 to 13 hours long, usually costing from $500 to $1,100 (total departure and return flights). Depends on when you book.
‘You will need at least two weeks off… one week is too short for how long the flights are.
‘Only 2-3 days for the wedding festivities, but the rest of the time is yours to do and go on whatever adventures you like.
‘You will need approximately $4,000 to $5,000 or more if you desire.
‘That includes hotels, food, drink, daily adventures, scooter rentals. Just good to have a safe buffer of money.
‘(you will not spend all of this…)
‘(all depends on what holiday you want)
‘It is very cheap over there, your dollar goes a long way.
‘Think all of this over… I know you all will really love it over there.’
The bride goes on to explain that guests must RSVP by the end of February, and that once the couple knows who plans to attend they’ll decide on a venue.
She writes: ‘If you want to attend start saving your pennies now!’
Nothing too offensive there, but this bride does seem to be expecting a lot from her guests. How many people will be up for saving thousands and going on a 13 hour flight just to see her get married?
Of course, people on social media have been fairly critical.
‘I’d tell her to shove her wedding,’ wrote one. ‘That’s just rude.’
Another said: ‘I think this is an invitation to be murdered.’
'aggressive' save the dates for wedding'aggressive' save the dates for weddingellencscottMETRO GRAB - taken from news.com.au website no permission - originally from Facebook 'aggressive' save the dates for wedding https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/marriage/bridezilla-slammed-for-aggressive-savethedate/news-story/d99a38b136fbfdd81d7e0239e3ff2aad Credit: Facebook
According to all the beauty types, yoga skin is going to be big this year… but what actually is it?
Like dewy, contoured, and glowing, yoga skin is another trend that focuses on, well, your skin, and how you prep it.
It’s a look created by makeup artist Sara Hill, who says she was inspired by people’s glow after coming straight from a yoga class.
‘The yoga skin technique is a look I created to make the skin look lit from within,’ says Sara. ‘Healthy, glowing, radiant, sheer and natural – skin that looks like skin at its very best.
‘Skin that’s just stepped out of the yoga studio, dewy and fresh, but not sweaty, just glowing with health and wellness.’
So basically, glowing skin that’s dewy without being sweaty or oily.
Don’t panic, you don’t actually have to start your day with yoga to get on the yoga skin trend. Lucky, really, as my real-life yoga skin is sweaty and covered in red blotches.
Instead it’s all about making the skin extra hydrated (handy in winter, when you’re probably dry and flaky) and creating a subtle glow with your base.
Sara’s shared her step by step with us, so you can copy her exact technique.
Sara Hill's technique for yoga skin:
Sara recommends lightly powdering your face to set concealer, but make sure you don’t go too heavy. The point is to maintain a glow, not a matte effect.
Top with cream blush or bronzer to complete the look.
Yoga skin isn’t like glass skin, which is all about perfection. Instead it’s about a natural, healthy glow.
Sarah does have products she loves, but it’s worth trying the look with bits you have at home before spending a load of cash. You might end up running back into the comforting embrace of a full-coverage, matte look.
Sara's recommended products:
sara hill - yoga skin-ab15sara hill - yoga skin-ab15ellencscott
These are essential skills in the age of Instagram.
Now it’s time for something new: the shmile.
Well, we say new. It’s a pose people have been doing for ages. But now the Daily Mail has come up with a catchy name for it, found some photos of influencers doing it, and declared it the big trend of 2019.
Don’t worry, it’s super simple. You’ve probably done it before.
The shmile refers to a shut-eye smile. Get it? The ‘sh’ of shut eyes, with the ‘mile’ of smile.
It means smiling while closing your eyes.
Yep, that’s it.
The idea behind a shmile is that it makes you look completely blissed out. You’re so overjoyed and laidback that you don’t even have to look at then camera, someone’s just happened to catch you in a moment of pure happiness.
That’s the illusion, anyway. The reality is you’ll need to hold that smile for ages and tilt up your chin to make sure you don’t look like you’re having a nap standing up.
We would recommend trying it out in a mirror first, but your eyes would be closed, so you wouldn’t be able to see yourself. Bummer.
Instead it’s best to find a very, very patient friend who’ll put up with you explaining that you need another shot because a strand of hair got stuck to your lipgloss.
Not only does the shmile help you feign actual happiness, but it also lets you show off your eye makeup. What could be better?
It’s best done on a beach or somewhere else super Instagrammable, rather than in the front of your favourite coffee shop – if only so you don’t get a bunch of angry commuters bumping into your shoulder and asking why you’ve got your eyes closed on a busy street.
We’ve popped a bunch of study material below that you can analyse. Remember, practice makes perfect, so try to close your eyes every time you smile. Each time you bump into a lampost will be painful, yes, but it’s worth it for those double taps.
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Calling all fried chicken and liner lovers: Benefit Cosmetics is opening a pop-up chicken shop serving chicken AND liner.
To celebrate the launch of Benefit’s latest release, Roller Liner, the cult beauty brand has teamed up with Queen of Wings, Mother Clucker, to open a rhubarb and custard coloured chicken shop for five days only, aptly named ‘Just Wing IT’.
So you can shop, chomp and experience the newly-released Roller Liner first-hand.
Upon arrival, you’ll be able to order your chicken (or vegan) wings, and afterwards you’ll be able to experience a full makeover thanks to Benefit’s Benebabes, who will talk you through and demo the new eyeliner.
Roller Liner comes four years after the release of now iconic Roller Lash Mascara, that’s renowned for its uber curling and eye-opening abilities.
And trust us – your makeup bag needs it.
Lisa Potter Dixon, Benefit Head Makeup Artist explained ‘winging out your liner is the perfect way to elongate and open the appearance of your eyes.
‘My favourite thing about the new Roller Liner is the extra-long felt tip. This helps you create a super sharp and precise wing. The jet black, matte black finish of the liner helps to give you that extra drama and definition’
So if you fancy flying by and trying Benefit’s newly launched Roller Liner, the shop will be open from the 30th January.
Fried chicken has never tasted, or looked so good.
The Benefit Cosmetics ‘Just Wing It’ chicken shop will be located at Venue 82, 82A Commercial Street, E1 6LY. Wednesday 30th January – Sunday 3rd February 12pm until 9pm.
rsz_1chicken_2-83bersz_1chicken_2-83beemilyknott17A Benefit Cosmetics pop-up chicken shop is coming to London this monthA Benefit Cosmetics pop-up chicken shop is coming to London this monthA Benefit Cosmetics pop-up chicken shop is coming to London this month
Beyond photo backdrops for tourists, classic red telephone boxes seem pretty obsolete.
But rather than decorating them in adverts for phone sex or using them as urinals (please stop doing that), why can’t we transform phone boxes into something lovely?
Let one phone box in South London serve as the perfect example.
A phone box on Loampit Hill, on the corner of Tyrwhitt Road, in Lewisham, had been turned into a miniature library.
Residents can pop into the box and take part in a book exchange, taking whatever book they fancy and leaving one behind.
The mini library has been going strong since 2013, and still gets visits from everyone from kids looking for paperbacks to elderly people hoping for a new travel book to peruse.
It was created by Sebastian Hadley, after the Brockley Society gained use of the phone box under BT’s Adopt a Kiosk scheme, which allows people to transform public spaces into something cool for the community.
Sebastian has since moved away, but two micro-librarians (as in, people who work at a small library. They’re not teeny-tiny in stature) take care of the box to make sure books are well stocked and no one’s done anything naughty – although they say the public generally treat the box with respect, even cleaning it without any payment or credit.
One micro-librarian, Tom Simpson, said: ‘We don’t keep any record of who uses the micro-library, or how often, but I often see people using it, and the turnover of books is quite quick, so it is well used.
‘We have had various notes left that say how good an idea people think it is, or thanking people for leaving certain kinds of books.
‘The amount of books varies, but usually the shelves are full, and there are often additional books lined up on the floor.
‘We generally just keep the books tidy, and let the stock self-regulate. It seems to work out fine.
‘There are books of all genres and periods and languages, and we don’t censor them. All we might do is put the more adult books on a higher shelf.’
Mark, 64, is one of the library’s regular visitors, popping in three or four times each week.
‘I usually borrow text books as my particular interest is history, whether it be local or international, so I come here, take a book I like, read it and bring it back for someone else,’ he said.
‘Every time I walk along this street I make sure I stop and pop in, it’s popular with everyone and is such a brilliant idea.
‘When you walk past and see new books, especially when I see my topics sitting there, I get excited and go straight inside. It’s amazing.’
Miriam is another fan, having lived in the area since 1982.
She said: ‘I remember the telephone box when it had an actual telephone although I don’t think I ever used it.
‘There are a lot of things in the library, occasionally there are even DVDs. I’ve put bags and bags of books in there, quite often people just have a look in it on the way home.
‘I’ve just come off the train and am walking home, I thought I would have a look for some kids’ books as my daughter is a teacher so it’s very useful to her.
‘There is a big array of stuff, you get anything and everything in there all the time, I don’t often take any books but I do put a lot of things in.
‘It’s always tidy, surprisingly enough – you would think people would urinate in it and all sorts but they don’t – people have a lot of respect for it and it gets used a lot.’
Can every street corner get one of these, please?
ellencscott"I need to go to the public telephone box to make a call," said no-one ever over the past decade or so. As technology prevails, most people seem to have a mobile phone glued to their hands and telephone boxes have sadly become outdated. Caption: Local resident Mark Brown enjoys the library and visits often."I need to go to the public telephone box to make a call," said no-one ever over the past decade or so. As technology prevails, most people seem to have a mobile phone glued to their hands and telephone boxes have sadly become outdated. Caption: This telephone box is London's smallest library"I need to go to the public telephone box to make a call," said no-one ever over the past decade or so. As technology prevails, most people seem to have a mobile phone glued to their hands and telephone boxes have sadly become outdated. Caption: There are shelves packed with books at the microlibrary in Lewisham"I need to go to the public telephone box to make a call," said no-one ever over the past decade or so. As technology prevails, most people seem to have a mobile phone glued to their hands and telephone boxes have sadly become outdated. Caption: The are ample amounts of books available at the old telephone box
Like it or not, in 2018 being able to sext is an important skill.
Back in the day we used to fall for people who owned their own mill or were really good at poaching rabbits. These days, it’s the ability to turn you on via Whatsapp that matters.
Admittedly sexting better than Jeff Bezos is quite a low bar, as he allegedly described the object of his affections as an ‘alive girl’, writing: ‘I love you, alive girl. I will show you with my body, and my lips and my eyes, very soon.’
Trying to resist putting your hands down your trousers?
No, we didn’t think so.
When to sext
First things first, you should only sext people who want you to sext them. Don’t send unsolicited sexts, and don’t send sexts to random strangers. It might make them feel uncomfortable and will be a waste of time and effort.
Also, there is some debate about time and place for sexting. Last year we discussed whether it’s possible to get fired for sexting at work and concluded that to be on the safe side you’d be best to avoid it.
What to say
This is a ‘how long is a piece of string?’ sort of question.
Great sexting happens when you and your partner hit on a discussion which you both find arousing. Sexting is a great time to enjoy fantasies which are unlikely to happen in real life or logistically difficult. In your fantasy you can wear any outfit, have sex in any setting and indulge all sorts of filth.
As with most things in life, confidence is sexy and makes the other person feel safe.
The easiest and hottest way to start sexting is to ask the other person to tell you, in detail, what turns them on. Hiding behind a screen makes it easier to be honest without being embarrassed.
Once you understand what it is the person you’re sexting actually enjoys, you can find some common ground and get creative.
What not to say
Probably best not to use ‘alive’ as a descriptor a la Bezos, because it does rather imply that there’s an alternative to that status.
Other big red flags include baby talk, which anecdotally most people don’t like, and getting the wrong word for your sexting partner’s genitals.
Lots of women find the word ‘pussy’ grating or uncomfortable. Others find vagina too clinical, or c**t offensive. Similarly, penis can be a bit medical sounding but willy is comical.
Take your lead from the other person, whatever they call their genitals is probably the safest thing to copy.
Some people like to go for a double pronged attack and use nudes as well as writing dirty messages. There’s nothing wrong with this at all, but remember to take photos that don’t include your face in case of any kind of hack. Also remember that it’s illegal for someone to share your nudes without your consent.
metro illustrationsmetro illustrationsrebeccacnreidWhat it's like to come out as a sex and porn addict - Erica Garza picture: Ella Byworth
A mum has shared graphic photos of her intestines spilling out of her stomach to take down the idea that c-sections are the ‘easy’ option.
*WARNING: Graphic images below*
First-time mum Mel Bremner’s caesarean scar split open five days after she gave birth, leaving her cradling her own intestines after she bent down to pick up shampoo in the shower.
Mel managed to make her way to the sofa with the help of her partner Aidan Johnson, who called paramedics.
The mum’s high pain threshold meant she was able to pose for a photo while they waited, before being airlifted to hospital.
Mel shared the photo with parenting site ChannelMum to take apart the myth that c-sections are an ‘easy’ option.
She also hopes her story will encourage mums to heed medical advice and take it easy after going through major surgery.
‘When I look at that photo I remember sitting there and my stomach and insides were literally in my hands,’ she shared.
‘It was all gurgling around and moving. It was awful.
‘I was sitting there thinking “oh my god I’m holding my intestines”. It was quite creepy.’
Mel explained that she wasn’t doing anything too extraneous – she had just been having a shower and reached for the shampoo when her scar split open.
Mel had the emergency c-section on 9 December, 2011. She was overdue, and wasn’t dilating despite medical intervention. The procedure went smoothly and she was soon home with her first daughter, Nadie.
She said her surgery wound dressing was inspected before she left hospital, and she was declared well enough to leave.
Her partner noticed two ‘white blobs’ in the middle of the wound four days after the birth – now thought to be fat – but neither he nor Mel suspected anything was wrong.
Her wound split open the next day.
‘I don’t remember if I felt it happen or saw it happen first, but my intestines were slipping out of my stomach,’ she remembers.
‘I put my hands underneath to catch it.
‘I realised if I shouted out it would put pressure on my stomach, and that if I shout it will all fall out, so I was just trying to call out calmly to Aidan.
‘I was sat there holding my insides the whole time. I daren’t move my hands.’
After being taken to hospital Mel received surgery, and after a few days she was back home again.
It’s thought that the c-section consultant cut the end of the thread too short while stiching Mel up, or that they hadn’t tied the knot tightly enough.
A spokesperson for Dr Gray’s Hospital declined to comment.
Mel went on to have daughters Allie and Robyn by c-section despite the traumatic experience, but thinks it’s important to share the reality of how difficult the procedure can be.
‘People think that c-section is the easy way out,’ said Mel. ‘It’s really not
‘It’s major surgery, but they don’t tell you that at the time. They just tell you “take it easy” and away you go home.
‘I think after giving birth you are sort of expected to get up and get on with it.
‘People are always telling you to take it easy but you just say “I’m fine”.’
Mothers guts spill out of C-section scarMothers guts spill out of C-section scarellencscottMel Bremner, 38 with her partner Aidan Johnson, 40 and her daughters Allie, now four, and Robyn, now three. See SWNS story SWOCsection; First-time mum Mel Bremner, 38, bent down to pick up the shampoo in the shower when she saw her organs spill out. She hobbled to the sofa with the help of partner Aidan Johnson, 40, who covered her with a towel while the paramedics rushed to their home. Mel - who admits she has a high pain threshold - posed for a photo while they waited, before being airlifted to hospital. She shared the photo with parenting site ChannelMum.com in a bid to dispel the myth that c-sections are "easy" and encourage mums to heed advice to take it easy after the major surgery. Brave Mel, a hotel waitress from Macduff, Aberdeenshire, said: "When I look at that photo I remember sitting there and my stomach and insides were literally in my hands.
For a young person, clubbing is seen as a rite of passage.
Everyone remembers their first club experience and the fun that can come from having a dance and drink with your friends. I started going clubbing properly at university in Nottingham, and it was underwhelming, to say the least.
The clubs just didn’t play the music I wanted to hear.
They would have a main room and, if we were lucky, one R&B room which was usually overcrowded and small – meaning it was very hot and sticky. Though the music was good, I wanted to hear Afrobeats, like Wizkid, Burna Boy and Davido, which were on the rise in the Black-British community, not Justin Bieber, Charli XCX or Jason Derulo.
Fortunately, in the local area the black community were tired of not being represented in the club scene and created their own spaces.
There were raves up and down the Midlands, from Leicester to Birmingham, where my friends and I would go and have the time of our lives. Getting on a coach with your friends to travel to these big raves in different cities filled me with excitement. I loved these nights.
Without these parties, I don’t know if I would have enjoyed university the way I did. Nottingham was a predominantly white university, so these places allowed me an escape from the micro-aggressions of people stroking my hair, telling me if I was attractive to them, or jumping to conclusions about my likes and dislikes, which I experienced daily.
Even after leaving university I found these spaces essential, but while London has a fair amount of clubs, there aren’t enough targeted to people of colour. Worse still, the clubs of choice were the opposite of welcoming.
The club DSTRKT (which closed in 2017) hit headlines back in 2015 for turning away a group of girls for being ‘too dark’ and ‘too overweight’. Stormzy then went on to rap ‘F*ck DSTRKT and f*ck all these nightclubs’ in one of his songs.
We aren’t asking for much, just good music and a place where we can be ourselves.
This story put me off clubbing completely. It made me feel as though black people, and black women in particular, aren’t good enough to fit into London clubs. We’re racially profiled before we enter, reminding us that these spaces aren’t for us.
In the early 2000s raves such as Eskimo Dance and their MC battles were pivotal to the grime scene but due to form 696, which required a risk assessment form two weeks before an event, many of these brilliant spaces were closed.
Set up as a risk assessment for hosting music events with DJs and MCs, form 696 was eventually scrapped amid accusations that it was being used to unfairly target grime and R&B events and artists.
Thankfully, in the past few years, my friends and I have found more options and places where we actually enjoy going out.
A handful of events like Recess, Plantain Party, DLT, Rollervibe and Jayslink Up spring to mind.
These events celebrate black British identity by playing African and Caribbean music and celebrate British identity by playing genres such as grime and garage.
What I enjoy about these events the most is the music. Not only do the DJs play genres such as Afrobeat, bashment and dancehall, it offers a sense of nostalgia on genres such as grime, garage and 90s R&B. I think more clubs should offer a variety of musical genres.
At the end of my first Recess event I reflected on how nice it was to party with people who look like me, and be surrounded by the type of music I listen to at home.
These events dispel the myth that when groups of black people are together in a party setting, violence will pop off. I feel safer going to these events than a club in the West End where there’s a possibility of being racially discriminated.
The vibe is completely different from the West End. The dress code is very casual, everyone’s in trainers, so you feel comfortable enough to dance and no one’s pressured to look a certain way.
Though these events are still very much for us and by us, people of different ethnicities are – of course – welcome to enjoy our culture and music.
I’d like to see more clubs aim club nights to minorities. These events run so well because the owners know their target audience. If other clubs in London want to make us feel welcome they need to know what we want as a community.
It’s so freeing to have a space where you can escape micro-aggressions, know you won’t be profiled, and can listen to the music you want to listen to.
We aren’t asking for much, just good music and a place where we can be ourselves.
Group of people having fun at music concertGroup of people having fun at music concertcharleyross92
A new study, released yesterday, found that eating more fibre could cut people’s chances of heart disease and early death.
The research is, from the University of Otago in New Zealand, stated that we should be eating 25g to 29g of fibre a day, with indications that over 30g is better stil..
The majority of people manage less than 20g, which may be due to stigma about carbohydrates, and beliefs that low-carb is healthier.
If you want to increase your intake and feel the benefits, here’s how.
This is the easiest time to get your fibre, as most cereals are high in this. The study did also mention, however, that you should aim to reduce your sugar intake. Therefore, go for options that do not have added sugar.
Examples of this include Shredded Wheat, Bran Flakes, and even porridge oats.
If you have toast in the morning, switch to wholemeal bread, which includes about 2g of fibre per slice.
You can also add some extra goodness with a banana or apple, which each contain around 3g of fibre.
One baked potato has around 4g of fibre, while half a tin of baked beans has around 9.4g.
The British Nutrition Foundation also claim that a 138g salad (lettuce, tomato and cucumber) should add around 1.7g to that total.
In general, potatoes with the skins on are a good way to increase your intake, as are vegetables and pulses.
100g of boiled lentils contains 8g, and chickpeas and beans are also high-fibre options. Consider adding them to stews or curries.
Wholegrain pasta and rice should be your go-tos, as they can up your intake and are also better for slow energy release.
75g of wholewheat spaghetti contains about 8g of fibre, so something like a lentil spaghetti bolognese would be an ideal dinner.
The NHS recommend fresh fruit, vegetable sticks, rye crackers, oatcakes and unsalted nuts or seeds as snacks.
A small handful of nuts can have as much as 3g of fibre, but make sure you go for an unsalted variety.
Close-up crop of woman holding a bowl containing Homemade granola or muesli with oat flakes, corn flakes, dried fruits with fresh berries. Healthy BreakfastClose-up crop of woman holding a bowl containing Homemade granola or muesli with oat flakes, corn flakes, dried fruits with fresh berries. Healthy Breakfastjessicacvl