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Photographer takes ‘primal’ labour pictures to encourage more homebirths

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WORTHING, SUSSEX, UK: The images show the intimate nature of childbirth. RAW IMAGES showing a nude woman embracing her primal instincts whilst appearing to give birth in an exotic tropical garden have been released by one British photographer who was inspired by her own experience of natural homebirth and the view that medicalisation isn???t necessarily as safe as we imagine. The breath-taking images appear to show a gorgeous model preparing to welcome her newborn child into the world whilst in a glass cube set against a wild garden while her midwife and partner look on in awe. The stunning shots show the woman boldly standing up whilst passionately going through the throes of labour before peacefully holding her baby in her arms with umbilical cord still attached before starting to nurse. These pictures were taken by photographer, Natalie Lennard (32) from Worthing, Sussex, UK, and feature in her series Salle Sauvage which forms part of her wider Birth Undisturbed project. Natalie was inspired by her two experiences of natural homebirth where she found that she was free to follow her own primal instincts during labour under the watchful eye of her independent midwife who let her embrace her body. Through her incredible work Natalie hopes to show women that there are alternative styles in which to give birth that aren???t just in a sanitised hospital on their back. Natalie, who normally shoots glamorous fashion and commercial work, said she was inspired one day when she was shooting alternative beauty model Gina Harrison. MDWfeatures / Natalie Lennard
Photographer Natalie Lennard used a model to pose for the pictures (Picture: MDWfeatures / Natalie Lennard)

Photographer Natalie Lennard has created a project – Birth Undisturbed – aimed at encouraging more women to opt for homebirths, inspired by her own positive experiences.

The 32-year-old from Worthing, Sussex had two natural homebirths where she found that she was free to follow her own ‘primal instincts’ during labour, while being observed by an independent midwife.

To tell the story of what it was like, Natalie recreated the scene with a model, using a prosthetic baby and fake blood to create powerful photographs.

Through her work, Natalie hopes to show women that there are alternative styles in which to give birth that don’t always include a hospital.

WORTHING, SUSSEX, UK: The model embraces the baby as it appears to nurse. RAW IMAGES showing a nude woman embracing her primal instincts whilst appearing to give birth in an exotic tropical garden have been released by one British photographer who was inspired by her own experience of natural homebirth and the view that medicalisation isn???t necessarily as safe as we imagine. The breath-taking images appear to show a gorgeous model preparing to welcome her newborn child into the world whilst in a glass cube set against a wild garden while her midwife and partner look on in awe. The stunning shots show the woman boldly standing up whilst passionately going through the throes of labour before peacefully holding her baby in her arms with umbilical cord still attached before starting to nurse. These pictures were taken by photographer, Natalie Lennard (32) from Worthing, Sussex, UK, and feature in her series Salle Sauvage which forms part of her wider Birth Undisturbed project. Natalie was inspired by her two experiences of natural homebirth where she found that she was free to follow her own primal instincts during labour under the watchful eye of her independent midwife who let her embrace her body. Through her incredible work Natalie hopes to show women that there are alternative styles in which to give birth that aren???t just in a sanitised hospital on their back. Natalie, who normally shoots glamorous fashion and commercial work, said she was inspired one day when she was shooting alternative beauty model Gina Harrison. MDWfeatures / Natalie Lennard
The photos were inspired by Natalie’s own experiences (Picture: MDWfeatures / Natalie Lennard)

The images show a naked woman giving birth in an exotic tropical garden before holding the baby in her arms with the umbilical cord still attached.

Natalie explained how she was fascinated by nature and wanted to simulate her own birthing experience. The model she used wasn’t pregnant nor had she ever given birth, she added. But, with the help of retired independent midwife Liz Nightingale, the trio were able to put the shoot together quickly in a cold studio in Clapham.

‘I had never done a shoot like this before, and I was wondering if I was crazy,’ said Natalie.

‘The model was stark naked, whilst I lubed up a silicone baby and placenta in Vaseline and vampire blood, filmed by a camera crew whilst my toddler ran around on set.

‘I have experienced two homebirths with the same independent midwife, and both were wonderful in that I was free to follow through the sensations of birth in an instinctive manner, on my own turf, for a very straightforward experience.

‘I do not actually know any different than giving birth at home, so I can only imagine how it might be different in hospital. I find that people speak of homebirth as being pleasant, a luxurious comfort, “nice if you can have it”.

WORTHING, SUSSEX, UK: The midwife looks on as the model 'gives birth'. RAW IMAGES showing a nude woman embracing her primal instincts whilst appearing to give birth in an exotic tropical garden have been released by one British photographer who was inspired by her own experience of natural homebirth and the view that medicalisation isn???t necessarily as safe as we imagine. The breath-taking images appear to show a gorgeous model preparing to welcome her newborn child into the world whilst in a glass cube set against a wild garden while her midwife and partner look on in awe. The stunning shots show the woman boldly standing up whilst passionately going through the throes of labour before peacefully holding her baby in her arms with umbilical cord still attached before starting to nurse. These pictures were taken by photographer, Natalie Lennard (32) from Worthing, Sussex, UK, and feature in her series Salle Sauvage which forms part of her wider Birth Undisturbed project. Natalie was inspired by her two experiences of natural homebirth where she found that she was free to follow her own primal instincts during labour under the watchful eye of her independent midwife who let her embrace her body. Through her incredible work Natalie hopes to show women that there are alternative styles in which to give birth that aren???t just in a sanitised hospital on their back. Natalie, who normally shoots glamorous fashion and commercial work, said she was inspired one day when she was shooting alternative beauty model Gina Harrison. MDWfeatures / Natalie Lennard
(Picture: MDWfeatures / Natalie Lennard)

‘But being in your own surroundings on your own terms has a very deep impact on shaping your entire experience. It can reduce the need for intervention or complications from arising at all, and it can influence how much you even define birth as “painful” – which I do not.

‘Birth is intense, intimidating but I never felt fear, just trust in my body and my midwife’s care.’

Natalie explained that the series of images she captured were her favourite as they followed her vision.

WORTHING, SUSSEX, UK: The model embraces the throes of labour as the midwife and partner look on in awe and admiration. RAW IMAGES showing a nude woman embracing her primal instincts whilst appearing to give birth in an exotic tropical garden have been released by one British photographer who was inspired by her own experience of natural homebirth and the view that medicalisation isn???t necessarily as safe as we imagine. The breath-taking images appear to show a gorgeous model preparing to welcome her newborn child into the world whilst in a glass cube set against a wild garden while her midwife and partner look on in awe. The stunning shots show the woman boldly standing up whilst passionately going through the throes of labour before peacefully holding her baby in her arms with umbilical cord still attached before starting to nurse. These pictures were taken by photographer, Natalie Lennard (32) from Worthing, Sussex, UK, and feature in her series Salle Sauvage which forms part of her wider Birth Undisturbed project. Natalie was inspired by her two experiences of natural homebirth where she found that she was free to follow her own primal instincts during labour under the watchful eye of her independent midwife who let her embrace her body. Through her incredible work Natalie hopes to show women that there are alternative styles in which to give birth that aren???t just in a sanitised hospital on their back. Natalie, who normally shoots glamorous fashion and commercial work, said she was inspired one day when she was shooting alternative beauty model Gina Harrison. MDWfeatures / Natalie Lennard
(Picture: MDWfeatures / Natalie Lennard)

‘I had a strong vision in my mind from the start. I did not give birth standing, nor catch the baby in my own hands as she does. It is a character exaggeration of the passion and control I felt giving birth at home.

‘We have a problem in our culture that we see only one depiction of birth: flat-on-back, anaesthetised, sterile hospital birth. That is what has become the prescription.

‘Women need to see more styles of giving birth, to know what is possible.’

But she said that people are shocked by the carnal nature of her images but want to see more portrayals of birth like this.

‘Birth is a visceral, carnal experience that needs our attention. I think that showing childbirth raw and uncensored is a good thing.’

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Men scared of women post #MeToo need to be educated not cancelled

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It might be satisfying to joke about cancelling all white men and how all men are trash, but it doesn’t achieve anything (Picture: Ella Byworth/Metro.co.uk)

According to the New York Times, high powered men are avoiding working with young women because post #MeToo, they’re scared.

As a feminist, my initial instinct is we should solve this by putting all the rich white men on some kind of an island, like a leper colony for sexism. And according to the reaction online to the NYT article, I’m not alone. But here’s the thing: I am never going to get my leper colony.

It might be satisfying to joke about cancelling all white men and how all men are trash, but it doesn’t achieve anything.

Rightly or wrongly (it’s the latter) men are frightened of being accused of inappropriate behaviour by women. And while people like me can shout ‘behave appropriately in the work place and everything will be fine’ until we’re blue in the face, it’s not getting us anywhere.

When it came out that Mike Pence never spends time alone with any woman who isn’t his wife, we all rolled on the floor laughing. Post #MeToo, how many men are secretly following the same rules?

According to the New York Times, women are being passed over by senior men for formal or informal mentoring because those men are worried about what might happen. Men no longer understand the rules of the game, so they’ve decided not to play. It’s almost like senior men have said that if they’re not allowed to sleep with – or at least flirt with – junior women, they don’t want to be involved.

The victims of this resolution will be (of course) be women.

We know that networking and mentoring are huge parts of making professional progress. If men are afraid to be alone with young women it means that they miss out on drinks, dinners, business trips and meetings.

To be fair to these men, the rules do seem to have changed – fast.

It is easy to tell men not to assault women – easy and vital. What is much harder to convey is the way in which some men make some women feel uncomfortable.

Lots of us have had a boss whose gaze lingers too long, who looks down at your chest while you’re talking or makes ‘flattering’ comments. The kind of boss who tells you that your boyfriend is a ‘lucky guy’ and brushes his hands over your waist while passing you in a corridor.

That’s the stuff that is confusing, the grey area. It’s not assault. It’s not evil. And for some women it would be totally harmless and fine. But for others it’s intimidating, upsetting and uncomfortable.

woman sleeping at desk
I hope our generation’s daughters won’t need to ask nicely or smile sweetly. We shouldn’t have to. It’s not fair (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

I’ve seen dozens of women on Twitter today saying that men who don’t want to mentor young women because they’re nervous about #MeToo shouldn’t be in the workplace. And I understand that frustration and anger, truly I do. But these men are not going anywhere. They are the bosses. The shareholders. The CFOs. They will not be shifted.

We cannot ‘cancel’ these men, so instead we need to create better working practices.

When you put a load of adults in an office there will be shagging, because that’s what humans do. But for instance some US based companies now have a policy where employees of any grade who wish to date need to make a confidential declaration to HR that neither party feels coerced.

The internet is teeming with brilliant examples of how consent works – look at the tea analogy, or The Rock test (if you wouldn’t do it to The Rock, don’t do it to someone you work with.) But the kind of men who are mentors at huge finance companies don’t read #LongReads about consent metaphors.

Perhaps it’s naive, but I can’t help thinking that an actual half day training session for senior men about what is and isn’t appropriate, where they are exposed to things like The Rock test, might help clear this problem up.

There are those who would argue that men are not confused or scared, they’re just unwilling to mentor women who they can’t fuck or at least objectify. And to that I said, let’s call their bluff.

Men are allegedly confused about where the line is, so let’s clarify.

If we strip away any confusion about appropriate behaviour, then men can’t use the ‘I don’t know what I am and am not allowed to do’ excuse anymore.

It’s not a sexy answer to the problem, I realise that.

Expecting women and companies to teach the finer details of consent to powerful men feels like an unfair burden.

These people are educated, rich and powerful. They should already know that ‘I like your jumper’ is a fine comment, and ‘I like the way that jumper fits your body’ is not. But if we want to make progress, I can’t help thinking that we’re going to have to do some work.

Women have always been expected to do things nicely, to create change through speaking softly and massaging male egos. Is that fair? No. Is it right? Absolute not. But is it regrettably still the best way to get things done? I’m afraid so.

I hope our generation’s daughters won’t need to ask nicely or smile sweetly. We shouldn’t have to. It’s not fair. But it’s an investment in our future.

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Woman accidentally masturbates to mum and dad’s sex tape

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What it's like to come out as a sex and porn addict - Erica Garza picture: Ella Byworth
(Picture: Ella Byworth)

Lots of us watch porn. While for some, imagination is enough, many of us need some form of visual stimulation to get off.

And let’s face it, porn can be fun to watch – even though it’s often far from realistic (bleached buttholes and over-compensated moaning, we’re looking at you).

We’re quite lucky to be able to hop online and scour through literally millions of porn videos. There’s something for everyone.

But back in the old days, people weren’t so lucky – there wasn’t much variety and everything came in the form of VHS tapes and magazines.

One woman recently wrote about an incredibly unfortunate experience with porn, back in the 90s.

Writing on Mamamia, she told of how she had taken the day off school when she went through both her brother’s and parents’ rooms, in the search of porn. In her brother’s room, she found magazines.

In her parents’, videos. Bingo.

(Picture: Getty)

She took the videos and headed to her lounge, where she started playing them. After no luck with the first two, which didn’t work, she hit the jackpot with an amateur porno.

After turning it on, she realised it was a home video – filmed on a sofa, which she mentioned oddly looked like her family’s sofa at the time.

But she kept watching.

She wrote: ‘It was shot on a tripod and was quite far away, but I could make out a naked woman on the couch.

‘Then a man, who was clearly fiddling with the camera controls walked away from the camera, naked bum in all its glory, towards the woman.

‘It was kind of dark, so really just silhouettes, but they started kissing and it was ok. Not really hot, but ok.

‘Then the dude jumped on the woman and they started having stiff, missionary sex.

‘It was the least sensual porn I had seen, and although I didn’t have much to compare it with, I was pretty sure this was amateur.’

Despite it being pretty mundane porn, the woman apparently decided to masturbate anyway.

She watched as the rather boring sex featured grunting and went on for 10 minutes. She tried to get into it, but after becoming bored, she fast-forwarded the tape to see if it got any juicier.

Passionate woman gapping bed linen
(Picture: Getty)

It didn’t.

She continued: ‘It wasn’t glorious. It actually made me wonder whether sex was fun at all.

‘Some porn, I thought.’

And then something awful happened. Absolutely, horrendously awful. The man got up, his penis swinging around, and he was smiling.

And then the woman realised.

She said: ‘He looked familiar.

‘Really familiar.

‘He looks like my dad! Ha! How weird is that!

‘Oh my god that is our couch.

‘Oh my god it is my dad.

‘Oh my god…that’s…

‘My mum.’

(Picture: Getty)

Yes, this then-teenager had masturbated to a video of her mum and dad having sex. Imagine. The pain. The torture. The nightmares. The nausea. Ugh.

She wrote: ‘I have never run so fast to the VHS player to hit stop. But it took forever, my legs were jelly, the VHS player was so far away. I was screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOO but it came out all low pitched and slow.

‘I managed to get to the stop button.

‘But the damage was done.

‘My life was over.

‘I had wanked to a video of my parents having sex.’

She went and did a ‘tongue scrape’ and put all of the tapes back in her parents’ room. She then had a cigarette, and went to bed, feeling sick. Understandably.

She says she couldn’t look her parents in the eyes for a few weeks, but then her brain blocked out the memory for 15 years – until recently, when her head decided she could handle it again.

Since then, she has spoken to her brother about the incident, and the pair laughed it off and said how impressive it was that their parents had made a sex tape.

But let’s be honest, no amount of laughing can ever rid you of the fact that you have literally got yourself off to your parents having sex.

And this, this is why we’re so thankful the internet exists – and why VHS tapes are so far in the past. Where, as you can tell from this story, they should stay.

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Trans people share their stories of how they chose their names

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(Picture: Twitter)

People within the trans community are taking to Twitter to explain how they picked their names, after queer author Faith Naff asked the interesting question, explaining that she’d named herself after the main character of one of her books because she wanted to be just like her.

Faith shared the question to Twitter writing: ‘Hey, trans people, what is your #TransNameStory? How did you pick your name? I named myself after the main character of one of my books because I wanted to be just like her.’

And since then, the hashtag #TransNameStory has taken off, with so many people sharing their own stories.

One woman explained how she wanted to keep a part of her dad in her name…

This man also chose his name based on a family member

This woman named herself after a character from Bewitched

This woman wanted to keep her initials the same as her previous name

This person wanted to keep their name within the family tradition

This woman says she didn’t ‘choose’ her name

This person decided to name themselves after a character within their favourite book

This man let his parents choose his name

This trans name story is a little heartbreaking…

This man’s name was chosen by his girlfriend

When teasing turns into the perfect name…

And finally, this is a lovely story!

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Rip-off renting fees will be banned, but tenants may still pay the price

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The Tenant Fees Bill imposes strict limits on the fees that landlords can charge (Photo: Pauleheult/Eye Ubiquitous/UIG via Getty Images)

For more than a decade, the list of fees would-be tenants have to pay before moving into their new home has been growing steadily longer.

As if scratching around for a hefty deposit and a month’s rent in advance wasn’t hard enough, renters typically have to fork out for an inventory, reference checks, ‘check in’ charges and assorted admin fees for the drawing up of their tenancy agreement.

Fortunately the days of such fees are numbered, with the news that the much-delayed Tenant Fees Bill is finally due to become law this summer.

First announced by the Chancellor Philip Hammond in November 2016, the bill has, unsurprisingly, proved popular with renters and gone down like a lead balloon with letting agents.

It imposes strict limits on the fees that landlords – and their agents – can charge tenants in England. Though it will only apply to tenancy agreements signed after 1st June, it will ban the charging of tenants for credit checks, inventories and references.

The cost to tenants of such red tape can be significant – the charity Shelter estimates it at £272 per person – and of course it typically serves the interests of landlords and letting agents rather than renters.

For example, references and credit checks provide reassurance to the property owner that their tenants have the means – and the discipline – to pay the rent on time. Landlords, quite understandably, like to know a would-be tenant’s credit history.

Meanwhile lettings agents, who are just running a business after all, see these fees as an attractive source of revenue. Credit checks can prove particularly lucrative; running an online credit check takes minutes and can cost agents just a few pounds, yet many charge each tenant more than £50 for the privilege.

As well as making it illegal for agents to charge tenants for such things, the new law will also limit the size of security deposits to the equivalent of six weeks’ rent.

All in all, it should make renting not just more transparent, but also more affordable. Some estimates predict the law will save England’s renters as much as £240 million a year; a huge sum and a welcome windfall for Generation Rent.

From June letting agents will face a tough choice – take the hit on lost fee income, or charge landlords more.

The prime minister has pledged to fix what she described as Britain’s ‘broken housing market’. However, many of the measures announced by the government have been aimed at those hoping to buy, rather than rent, a home.

While the dream of owning your own home is a powerful one, not everyone can afford to – or wants to – buy. Millions of Britons choose to rent, for a variety of reasons, yet their needs are too often overlooked.

The web of fees that renters currently have to pay when beginning, changing, or ending a tenancy are symptomatic of a system which is tilted in favour of property owners and their agents, rather than tenants.

And while the bill provides some rare cheer for renters, lettings agents are unlikely to take it lying down. For them, the fees are a vital source of revenue.

From June they’ll face a tough choice – take the hit on lost fee income, or charge landlords more. Neither option is particularly attractive, as the current sluggish property market means there is stiff competition between agents for landlords’ business.

The pressure is particularly acute on high street agents, who have higher overheads than their online rivals. There are around 16,000 letting agent branches around the country, many of them single office operations which may have to merge with their rivals in order to survive.

Many of the fees currently charged to tenants were introduced a decade ago when the property crash forced agents to find other sources of income. Ten years on and agents are once again seeing their margins being squeezed by a slow market.

This time they’ll be forced to recoup their lost income by charging landlords a higher commission to find tenants and manage properties. And they may have to do to property owners what they did to renters a decade ago – introduce new administration fees.

But as the fees debate comes full circle, tenants’ celebrations may be short-lived. Landlords are likely to respond to their additional costs by putting up rents.

While long-term tenancy agreements usually write in some rental increases, the amount is agreed in advance, meaning renters can plan accordingly and they are protected from nasty surprises. UK tenants could and must be protected from sudden and steep rent rises.

Phil Spencer is a presenter of the TV show Location Location Location and co-founder of the property advice site MoveiQ.co.uk

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Modern Etiquette: What if I don’t want to socialise with people from work?

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modern etiquette: I don't want to hang out with people from work
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

It’s Thursday evening, and you’re putting your coat on, looking forward to an evening at home watching the Fyre Festival documentary and not talking.

And then a co-worker catches your eye.

‘We’re going to the pub for a drink, want to come?’

Now for some people this is not a bad thing. There are those who find unplanned fun with their colleagues bearable, even enjoyable. But let’s face it, not everyone does. If you work with a group of people you can just about cope with for nine hours a day, why would you want to put yourself through the pain of forced socialising?

Victoria McClean from City CV says: ‘Start-up culture has definitely got itself a bit of a reputation. We can’t help but picture lots of really cool individuals in lofty industrial warehouse spaces with a raft of grown up toys like basket ball hoops, ping-pong tables and roof top bars.

‘Having crouched in the ball pit of one of our agency’s offices, I can definitely attest to the fun, surprisingly creative (and at times uncomfortable) factor.The focus is definitely on work hard, play hard and collaboratively, which I love.

‘We all know that getting to know colleagues better makes for a vastly improved working relationship and smooths any bumps in the road that may arise.

‘We spend most of our daylight hours with our co-workers, so it makes life much easier and nicer to get to know them and enjoy their company. It’s great that these new companies are focused on this element of working life and its certainly something I’ve encouraged as part of the City CV culture.’

Team activities, one a terrifyingly American concept, have become even more popular in the UK since start-up culture boomed. As soon and they started putting ping pong tables in the office and hanging bikes on the walls it seemed to become obligatory to drink with your co-workers.

While a Friday night free beer and pizza session might be fun sometimes, there are people who don’t want to make friends at work, who just want to get in and get out.

‘I like my job and I like the people I work with’ says Luca, 26, who works in IT in central London. ‘But I also like being at home and having time on my own or with my friends. I’ve found that often you end up doing way more hours in the office, even if they’re supposed to be ‘fun’ hours, which I resent.’

But it’s not always easy to get out of enforced fun.

‘My colleagues think I’m unfriendly’ said Martin, 40, who works in property. ‘It’s not that, I just have a wife and a kid and need to be home in the evenings to see them. But they take the piss about the fact that I always say no to hanging out with them. It’s become an in joke now.’

So, is it permissible to just not want to socialise with work people?

Lauren Lennon, HR manager for Athona told Metro.co.uk: tells Metro.co.uk that it is, saying: ‘It is totally acceptable to not want to socialise with colleagues outside of work.

‘You could be new to the job and not feel ready to share your personal life or if you’re in a senior position, it could potentially prove difficult to address issues with performance with an employee if you class them as a friend and could also create an awkward working atmosphere.’

The tricky part is how you handle saying it. According to Lauren, it’s as simple as being honest: ‘It’s important to not over think it and a simple ‘no thanks’ or ‘I’m busy’ is always fine.’

You might well find that your co-workers aren’t that upset about your deferral. In fact they might have just been asking you to be nice. It’s entirely possible that they don’t want to hang out with you either.

If you do get wind that your colleagues think you’re being unfriendly or are hurt by your lack of interest, there’s nothing wrong with being candid about your thought process.

Explaining that you’re trying not to drink so much, that you’ve got go to the gym, you have a baby to put to bed or just that you need some quiet down time is perfectly reasonable.

Modern Etiquette is a weekly series. Rather than telling you what to do with a salad crescent or which shoes are most appropriate for Ascot, we’ll be working out how to navigate shared houses, drugs, ex-boyfriends and that moment when you send the screenshot of the person you’re bitching about to them. 

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Lidl is launching a ridiculously cheap home gym range

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Caption: Lidl launches a ridiculously cheap home gym range
Credit: Lidl

A home gym is a luxury only enjoyed by millionaires with mansions, yachts and home cinemas right? Wrong.

Lidl is set to launch an incredibly affordable range of home gym equipment to help make working out at home accessible for everyone.

Picture the scene: it’s 6am. It’s freezing and dark. You promised yourself you would workout before going to the office, but the thought of leaving your house is making you want to curl up and die.

Well now you don’t have to. Set up a mini gym in your living room, bedroom, spare room or garage – and watch your motivation levels shoot through the roof.

Working out has never been easier – or cheaper.

The workout bench (Picture: Lidl)

Products include the Crivit Exercise Bike and the Crivit Air Rowing Machine, for just £199 each. Perfect for full-body workouts and to work on your endurance.

You could also go for the Crivit Workout Bench for just £29.99, which is great for targeting the abdominal and arm muscles, and has adjustable resistance bands for a full-body burner.

The exercise bike (Picture: Lidl)

The Crivit Vibration Plate is £79 and features push-up handles and resistance bands to help intensely define and tone muscles.

Or, for a workout focused on muscle-building, the Crivit 10.5kg Dumbell Set at £15.99 or £26 for two, would be a good option.

The rowing machine (Picture: Lidl)

To help you monitor your progress, Lidl are also selling the the Garmin Vivosport Fitness Tracker for £99, down from the RRP of £149.99. It’s pretty comprehensive and measures your heart rate, reps, steps and calorie consumption, as well as wellness features including sleep and all-day stress levels.

Also on offer are kettle bells, suspension trainers, exercise mats, push up bars and an ab trainer – so you can really tailor your home gym to help you meet your specific goals.

The range is set to launch on 31 January, which is perfect for anyone thinking of cancelling their gym membership the moment their trial month is over.

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Fighter? Inspirational? Brave? Ask a cancer patient how they feel before labelling them

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The most important thing for me though is changing people’s perceptions of what cancer is meant to look like (Photo: Evadney Campbell)

On 13th January 2017, the day after my birthday, I went for a routine examination that changed my life forever.

Within weeks I was told I had breast cancer. A diagnosis which I know millions of us fear. No-one wants to hear they have the ‘Big C’.

I was determined to talk about my diagnosis, especially in my community where when someone says the words ‘I have cancer’, what most people hear is that you’re dying. It’s pretty much a taboo subject among my community, though not for me – I was more than willing to talk about my diagnosis.

The words ‘cancer-stricken’ and having cancer referred to as a ‘battle’ are something that cancer patients are so often confronted with, and as Macmillan research has found, people with cancer really don’t like these terms.

In fact 42 per cent of people thought being called ‘hero’ or ‘victim’ was disempowering.

I know that I hated when people said I was ‘struggling with’ or ‘fighting’ cancer, yet these words are so frequently used in the media that I found myself using them too!

I’m grateful that this research has drawn attention to how much these phrases are disliked, as it’s only through awareness that people’s language will change.

It might have been two years since I finished treatment but I still encounter misconceptions regularly.

When I’m asked, ‘Are you clear now?’ I never know what I should say.

I felt I was ‘cleared’ of cancer when the surgeon told me they had ‘got it all’, but you can’t tell everyone you’re cleared until you get the five year clear!

When someone asks me this question, I’m left wondering how I should feel. Telling them I’m not ‘clear’ until I get five years clear suggests I should live in ‘limbo’ just waiting; well, I’m not waiting, I’m living.

I see myself as a breast cancer survivor, but I know that other people don’t like that term.

The most important thing for me though is changing people’s perceptions of what cancer is meant to look like.

This research goes to show that not all people who have experienced cancer are the same, and just because someone you know is okay with being referred to in a certain way, others may not.

Since I was diagnosed, I’ve told many people with cancer to stay positive, as that is what helped me through – yet I have had others tell me that they feel that it adds to the pressure already on them during their treatment.

Even those of us who have experienced cancer still don’t get the language right, and that’s why it’s so important to shine a light on what people do and don’t like to hear.

The most important thing for me though is changing people’s perceptions of what cancer is meant to look like.

My daughter still jokes that I had a ‘pretend illness’ as I didn’t look like the stereotypical cancer patient.

Everyone told me I looked well and as I didn’t fully lose my hair, looking at me you could not tell I was in treatment.

What they didn’t know was that being told I looked well made me wary of seeking help from charities like Macmillan. I felt guilty and thought if I sought more help from them I would be depriving others who looked more unwell.

In some ways though, me looking ‘healthy’ during my treatment has helped to bust some stigma in my community.

I mentioned that people often equate cancer with death, so seeing me with my hair and a smile clearly did something to change that!

The thing that shocked me most however, was how many people came forward after I received my diagnosis to tell me they had cancer, or had completed treatment many years before.

These people were my friends, and even family members, who felt uncomfortable telling other people about their own experiences of cancer.

Hopefully this research will go some way to dismantle the stigma that prevented members of my community being open about their diagnoses.

I also think it’s important in teaching the lesson that there is no one way of describing cancer, how one copes with it, or how to behave around it.

My advice would be to always ask the person how they describe their illness before you start calling them brave or inspirational.

Macmillan Cancer Support is almost entirely funded by generous support from the public and manages to help up to 6.5 million people every year to navigate all the things that cancer may throw their way. For more information go to http://www.macmillan.org.uk/right-there-with-you

MORE: People with cancer reveal the cliches they hate hearing about the disease

MORE: Cancer survivor raises £150,000 ‘to pay NHS back’

MORE: My cancer diagnosis made me suicidal


How to do a push up: the perfect technique for the full-body move

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Push ups are difficult. Doing just one, perfectly, is a great achievement in itself.

Getting your entire body weight off the ground, while keeping your form and not letting your spine collapse can be really tough.

But it is certainly possible – and it’s actually all about technique and practise. The more you do it, the better you’ll get.

A push up is a really useful little move to have in your arsenal. Not only is it working your back, shoulders and arms, it also elevates your heart rate and gives your core a serious workout too.

When it comes to push ups, you’ve really got to do it right. Distribute your power in the wrong way and you could end up hurting your back or shoulders, or just not getting off the ground at all.

Luckily, our expert James, Creative Director of Sweat by BXR, is on hand to teach you exactly how to execute the perfect push up – just take a look at the video above.

(Picture: Getty)

It all starts in a plank position and the aim is to get a full-range of motion, lowering your chest almost to the floor, before pushing back up to the start position.

You want your hands to be in line with your chest and a little wider than the body, to give yourself a sturdy base.

When you lower, your elbows should go backwards down the line of your body, rather than sticking out to the sides.

If it’s too challenging, start on your knees, with your pelvis tilted at a 45 degree angle.

Once you have nailed the move on your knees, work up towards completing a full push up on your toes.

Tips for the perfect push up

Make sure your neck and spine are aligned
This is really important for preventing injury to your spine and neck, but also to make sure you’re really getting the most out of the move

Engage your bum
Don’t forget about your bum cheeks – they’re some of the biggest muscles you’ve got and can really help you complete this move properly. Squeezing your butt when you do a push up will make it easier to maintain a good, solid form.

Keep control on the way down
Don’t cheat by letting gravity do the work for you. Control your movement as you lower yourself down to the ground – this is safe and also makes you work harder.

Put your hands flat on the floor
It’s really important to have a solid base when you are doing push ups. It can be tempting to clench your hands into fists, but try to keep your palms flat against the ground.

MORE: How to do flutter kicks: the perfect technique for the tough core exercise

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MORE: Primal movement can help you get fitter than ever

Couple trek across all 50 states with their kids strapped to them in slings

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(Picture: PA Real Life)

Jamie and Chet Blotske left their home in Billings, Montana on January 25 and set off on the ‘trip of a lifetime’, with their little ones, Rowen, two, and 10-month-old Berric tucked up in special child-carriers.

‘We both love being in the outdoors and try to get out as much as possible with the kids,’ said Jamie, 37, who describes herself as having a love of hiking ‘in her blood’.

‘But this is something that would go beyond anything we have done before, and we feel that if we don’t do it now – when the boys are still small and don’t have to go to school yet – then we never will.’

Planning to complete the trip within two years, the couple will travel from state to state in their motorhome, returning to Montana every few weeks for Chet to continue working part-time as a self-employed estate agent.

‘Our income might be a little bit more restricted because I won’t be working as much,’ said Chet,31. ‘But that’s something we’ve considered and weighed up.

‘And in the end, we just want to go for it because what we might lose in financial stability we will more than make up in memories to last a lifetime.’

The Blotske's motorhome in which they will travel to each state before getting out and hiking (Collect/PA Real Life)
The Blotske’s motorhome in which they will travel to each state before getting out and hiking (Picture: PA Real Life)

Montana-born Jamie and Chet from neighbouring North Dakota first met at a New Year’s Eve party in the mountains of Montana, while on a snowboarding holiday arranged by a mutual friend at the end of 2010.

Immediately bonding over their shared love of the mountains – with Jamie a keen mountaineer since the age of five and Chet an avid winter sportsman – the two fell in love, settled in Billings and were married a year later in July 2011.

‘A big part of our relationship from the off revolved around being outdoors together – going on hikes and camping trips in the National Forests around our home,’ recalled Jamie.

‘We would try to get out as much as possible up into the mountains, going most weekends for 10-mile hikes, and then on longer camping trips sometimes where it would be just us in a tent beneath the stars for two or three nights.’

The arrival of Rowen in April 2016 did nothing to dampen their enthusiasm for hiking and when the baby boy was just over a week old, the couple took him on his first walking trip, covering a mile with the tot placed in a special baby-carrier strapped to Chet’s chest.

He recalled: ‘We always knew that we would want to introduce our kids to this way of life as soon as possible and Jamie even asked the midwife, when she was pregnant, how soon you could go for a hike with a baby.

‘She was a bit surprised and replied, “I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that before!”‘

Eighteen months later, baby Berric was born and was soon joining his family on five-mile walks across the rocky countryside – with the newborn now in the baby carrier, while Rowen moved on to a special backpack.

The infants sleep for much of the journeys but their parents insist it is an important part of their upbringing and would never consider leaving them behind, even when they grow bigger – and heavier.

The four Blotskes at Bighorn Canyon in Montana (Collect/PA Real Life)
The four Blotskes at Bighorn Canyon in Montana (Picture: PA Real Life)

‘I think it’s such a vital part of growing up, to have an awareness of the land that exists all around us, and to open their eyes up to what lies beyond the city limits,” said Jamie.

‘And Rowen especially has really taken to that and complains whenever we start heading home at the end of a long hike and instantly wants to get inside his backpack.’

But now they are heading off on their biggest undertaking to date.

Starting in California, they will then head to Nevada, followed by Arizona and New Mexico, driving to National Parks in their motorhome before heading out on day-long hikes.

Jamie with baby Berric in Paradise Valley, Montana, November 2018(Collect/PA Real Life)
Jamie with baby Berric in Paradise Valley, Montana, November 2018 (Picture: PA Real Life)

They plan to return home between every stage – which will comprise around four states – for two or three months each time, before embarking again on their next journey.

The couple accept money will be tight as they will be earning less through the year.

Chet said: ‘We aren’t trust-fund kids and we have a mortgage to pay like everybody else, so we know that we’ll have to be careful with money.

‘But we’re really lucky that Chet is able to be flexible with his work and that we have this golden window of time when we can finally do this.’

Watching their purse is not the only precaution that the Blotskes are taking though.

After a close friend was recently charged by a Grizzly Bear while hiking in Montana, Chet has bought a 10mm Springfield handgun in case they run into any similar difficulties, and the couple also carry Bear Spray.

‘Obviously the risks are there,’ said Jamie, ‘but it isn’t something that you can fixate on too much.

‘We have Grizzly Bears in Montana, but in all the years I’ve hiked there, I’ve never had a problem. You just have to be sensible and not stray off the paths too much.’

As for Rowen and Berric, the pair have been itching to start their family adventure – and Rowen has often being found by his parents inspecting the motorhome in anticipation of take-off.

Jamie said: ‘They’re really excited, and that makes us all the more excited too.

‘We’re just looking forward to doing what our family does best.’

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Holocaust survivor’s letter from his mum moments before she died in Auschwitz displayed at museum

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Vilma Grunwald wrote a letter to her husband and son moments before she was gassed by Nazis (Picture: United States Holocaust Memorial Museum/Frank M. Grunwald)

Frank M. Grunwald, 87, is a Holocaust survivor. Devastatingly for him, he and his family – dad Kurt, mum Vilma, and brother John – were sent to Auschwitz in December 1943.

Frank was only 12 years old. When 16-year-old John, who was handicapped, was chosen to be gassed to death by Nazis, Vilma couldn’t bear to leave him alone and stayed with him.

Moments before their death, she wrote a letter for her family, giving it to a guard to pass onto her husband which he, thankfully, did.

Years after the death of his mum and later his dad, Frank decided to read the sweet letter which he has now given to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum to be put on display.

Engagement photograph of Vilma Eisenstein and Kurt Grunwald United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, courtesy of Frank M. Grunwald
Photograph of Vilma Eisenstein and Kurt Grunwald after their engagement (Picture: United States Holocaust Memorial Museum/Frank M. Grunwald)

‘My mother, who was always a good judge of character, had picked the right person (to give the letter to),’ wrote Frank on Sky News.

‘A few months later, Auschwitz was liberated, and I was reunited with my father – by this time I was in Austria and he was in Germany.

‘It was then he told me he had a letter from my mother, written to him shortly before she and my brother were taken on trucks to the gas chambers.

‘He told me it was a goodbye, a loving goodbye to him, and that my mother had wished him a good life.

‘I was only 12 years old at the time, so it was too painful to read and I pushed it to the back of my mind.’

Vilma Grunwald poses with her two sons, John and Misa United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, courtesy of Frank M. Grunwald
Vilma Grunwald poses with her two sons, John (left) and Frank, then known as Misa (Picture: United States Holocaust Memorial Museum/Frank M. Grunwald)

In 1967 after Kurt passed away, Frank was able to finally read the letter which was dated 11 July, 1944, months after they first entered the camp.

It read: ‘You, my only one, dearest, in isolation we are waiting for darkness.

‘We considered the possibility of hiding but decided not to do it since we felt it would be hopeless.

‘The famous trucks are already here and we are waiting for it to begin. I am completely calm.

You – my only and dearest one, do not blame yourself for what happened, it was our destiny.

‘We did what we could.

‘Stay healthy and remember my words that time will heal – if not completely then at least partially.

‘Take care of the little golden boy and don’t spoil him too much with your love.

‘Both of you – stay healthy, my dear ones. I will be thinking of you and Misa. Have a fabulous life, we must board the trucks.

‘Into eternity, Vilma.’

Frank then made copies and gave it away to the museum which said it’s the only artefact to convey the full emotion and mental health of a Holocaust prisoner.

‘I remember telling my wife that I was so concerned that, when I am not around, my mother will be forgotten,’ added Frank at the end of his emotional account.

‘Now, that the letter is on exhibit at the museum, she will not be.’

MORE: I survived the Holocaust, yet people still deny it to my face

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MORE: Some British adults don’t think the Holocaust took place

Restaurants: could you please stop handing my husband the wine list first?

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What two glasses of wine does to your heart
(PIcture: Getty)

My husband and I went out for supper recently. Nothing especially fancy, just a nice evening where I didn’t have to cook and could get gently pissed and eat half a baguette while waiting for the food to come.

We were shown to our table, seated and I was handed a menu. My husband was also handed a menu, only because he’s a man, he was given the wine list. And for the first time in the five years this has been happening, I snapped.

Obviously I’m British so my ‘snap’ consisted of saying ‘Please can I have that actually?’ in a slightly cross voice. But I was more than slightly cross. I was fuming.

I had booked the table under my name, I had done the whole ‘Hi we’ve got a table booked for 9PM’ routine. I was paying the bill. And yet who gets the wine list? My husband.

Now I realise that this is a first world problem. The first world-iest of problems. Compared to war and famine and FGM it’s a literally nothing.

But that doesn’t make it okay. Because the assumption that my penis owning husband is more qualified to choose the wine than I am is sexist, patronising and untrue.

The wine picking is usually done by the person who is paying the bill, so to avoid an embarrassing situation where your guest orders a £900 bottle of Claret and sticks you with the bill.

The person paying the bill is not always the man. In fact in 2019 it’s usually a split bill between a couple, or a case of taking it in turns. In this case it was me. I wanted to take my partner to dinner, and I wanted to pay. I also wanted to choose the wine.

I love wine. I don’t like to be a wanker about it, but I care about wine. I sneak off to wine tastings and read about wine on the internet.

I was the first one of my friends to hit peak New Zealand Sauv and fall back into the warm embrace of buttery Chardonnay (do not knock it, Chardonnay is back).

Am I a wine expert? Absolutely not. Am I the person in my marriage who knows more about wine? Yes. Which is why I usually choose it. Also why I like to taste it. Don’t get me started on waiters who take the wine order from me and then ask if my husband wants to taste it.

At restaurant after restaurant, I am assumed to be a non-paying guest who has no opinion about what she wants to drink.

It’s not much better than the days where women were given menus without prices on them so as to be able to order whatever they liked without worrying their lady brains about the cost. Because what’s more fun than trying to guess whether the crab linguine is going to put a hole in your joint savings account?

Even worse than being denied the wine list is being passed over by the bill.

Despite the fact that it’s 2019, I can’t count the number of times at the end of a meal, the bill will be presented to person who has a penis.

I once told the owner of a small hotel on the south coast that I’d be splitting the room bill with my husband and she looked at him and said ‘you’re not seriously going to make her do that, are you?’

Sharing costs is a pretty standard part of being in a relationship, but some people insist on attaching value to being paid for.

Giving the bill or the wine list to one gender rather than the other is giving over power to that person. It might not be much power, but it’s the kind of small undermining act which creates an unequal society.

It’s not difficult to put the wine list or the bill down in the middle of the table. If you’re unclear, ask ‘who would like to choose the wine?’ It’s not a difficult adjustment to make, and I promise, it makes a difference.

MORE: Modern Etiquette: What if I don’t want to socialise with people from work?

MORE: Woman accidentally masturbates to mum and dad’s sex tape

 

How to get the perfect shave without spending a fortune

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Whether you see it as right of passage or a chore that you have to get through, shaving your face is a must for most men.

From taming an unruly beard to getting the clean-cut look, we all need to rely on a trusty razor to keep us looking sharp.

But, thanks to nicks, cuts and rashes, what should be a relaxing part of our grooming regime is a pain in the neck for some. Literally.

So, here we reveal the step-by-step guide to a perfect shave. And no, you won’t need to spend a fortune – or use a scrunched up piece of toilet roll ever again!

We reveal the step-buy-step guide to the perfect guide
Picture: Find shaving a bore? We reveal the step-buy-step guide to the perfect guide

Scrub up well

A clean canvas is essential when shaving so make sure you use a good facial scrub to exfoliate away any debris like dead skin or dirt. Try and use alcohol-free cleansers as they can dry out the skin and only add to irritation.

Then prepare the skin to be shaved by opening the pores; this is best done by having a shower first. If you fancy a real pamper session, try using a warm towel on your face for three-minutes before reaching for the razor.

Picture: First, make sure your face is ready by washing or exfoliating the skin

Buy the right blade

The most important part of any perfect shave – the blade! A lot has been said in recent years about investing in expensive shaving kits – from stainless steel barber’s razors to badger hair (yes!) brushes – but why make an everyday necessity into an expensive fuss? After all, more than half of men* said they will buy more affordable versions of their usual branded shaving products – as long as they do the job.

Ideally, you should be using sharp blades and changing them regularly. That’s where Superdrug Smartfit Triple Blade Razor Refills can help. Providing super-close results thanks to its triple coated blades, while designed to protect the skin with a lubricating gel – and fitting the Gillette® Mach3®** handle – it’s the perfect solution if you want value for money in the grooming department.

And there’s never been a better time to try it out – Superdrug are giving away free Smartfit Triple Blade Razor Refills (4 pack) when you buy a Gillette® Mach3® handle in-store or online.***

Lather it on

Never try to shave without a foam or cream. This is essential for softening tough facial hairs and stubble and allowing your razor to glide seamlessly along the face. Rub in your chosen cream in an upward circular motion into the hairs to make them easier to cut.

Lather up and use sharp blades which you should change regularly to stop irritation

One direction

With or against the grain; that is the question. Well, it all depends on which direction your hair grows. If your neck hair grows upwards, start from the end of your facial hair and go up to the chin. Then, work your way down from the cheekbone on each side.

Keep your facial muscles relaxed (no funny mirror faces, please) and use your hand to stretch the skin to allow your razor to go along easier. If you need to get a closer shave, go over the area again – but resist doing it more than three times or in rough, ragged movements – it’ll leave you blotchy and sore. Rinse your razor after every stroke.

Take your time

Everyone needs some time to make themselves look and feel good – so why not transform your shaving into a ritual worth enjoying. Whether you like to tackle your facial hair in the morning or evening, give yourself at least 15 minutes to ensure you get the best results. Let’s be honest, missed spots and cuts are never a good look.

Go against the grain and rinse your razor
Picture: Make sure you go against the grain of your hair and rinse your razor after each stroke

Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise

No shave is perfect without soothing the skin afterwards. Choose your favourite moisturiser, squeeze a pea size amount on to your palm and then dab around the face with the tips of your fingers. Then, gently rub into the skin in upwards motions. Then you’re ready to face the world feeling fresh.

Inspired to get the perfect shave? Buy your razor and blades HERE…

*Mintel report found that 54 per cent of men are actively looking for equivalents to their usual branded cosmetic products

**This product is not manufactured or distributed by The Gillette company LLC, owner of the registered trademark Mach3®

***Terms and conditions: 1 free product per transaction. Subject to availability. Selected lines only. Offer Ends 26/02/19.

Couple with 30-year age gap always being mistaken for father and daughter

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(Picture: SWNS)

A 20-year-old woman is engaged to a man more than three decades older than her – and she says strangers automatically assume he is her dad.

Isabella Sainz, who documents her age gap relationship and young motherhood on her YouTube channel Isabella Sainz, has two children with Joseph Conner, 53, but is 15 years younger than his eldest child.

The full time mother fell in love with the retired cop – who is now a high school lacrosse coach – when the pair worked together.

They had only been dating for a month when Isabella fell pregnant and they now have now have daughters Autumn, 15 months, and Wynter, six weeks.

Joseph is now a father of six as he has four children from a previous relationship – Joseph, 34, Jason, 24, and Justin, 21, and daughter Jacqueline, 23.

The couple, from Miami, Florida, are now planning their wedding.

Isabella said: ‘We definitely get looks when we are out in public together. Strangers will say to Joseph: “Are you her dad?”

‘Sometimes we correct them and they go quiet, other times we’ll joke it off and pretend that I am his daughter.

Joseph Conner, 53 and Isabella Sainz. See SWNS story SWNYage; A woman, 20, who is engaged to a man MORE THAN THREE DECADES OLDER than her has revealed that strangers assume he is her father. Isabella Sainz has two children with Joseph Conner, 53, and the couple plan on tying the knot at the end of this year. The full time mom, from Miami, Florida, fell in love with the retired cop who is now a high school lacrosse coach when the pair worked together. Despite the fact that Isabella is almost 15 years younger than Joseph???s eldest child, the pair began dating. She had only been in a relationship with the lacrosse coach, dad of Joseph, 34, Jason, 24, Jacqueline, 23, and Justin, 21, for one month when she discovered she was pregnant. The mum of Autumn, 15 months, and Wynter, six weeks, said: ???We definitely get looks when we are out in public together. ???Strangers will say to Joseph: ???Are you her dad???? ???Sometimes we correct them and they go quiet, other times we???ll joke it off and pretend that I am his daughter.
(Picture: Isabella Sainz / SWNS)

‘Everybody has their own opinions but life is extremely short and you should do what makes you happy.’

Isabella was just 18 when she met Joseph in October 2016 through working with his lacrosse club.

She said: ‘I was looking into medical school and I had to do medical training hours to build my résumé before college.

‘I reached out to him because he was a coach, so I began working with his lacrosse club.

‘I was attracted to him but I actually did not like him at all.

‘He came off as arrogant.

‘But once I got to know him and actually spoke to him about politics, family and his children, I realised he was a good guy.

‘He wasn’t arrogant, it was just the way he carried himself in front of the team.’

The pair began dating in December 2016 and just one month later Isabella found out she was pregnant.

She said: ‘The same month I started seeing him, I got pregnant.

‘That escalated things very quickly and we had to make a decision.

‘Obviously I was terrified when I told him, but he was extremely supportive.

‘We decided that we were definitely going to be together and he bought a place in Miami for us to live.’

Joseph Conner, 53 and Isabella Sainz. See SWNS story SWNYage; A woman, 20, who is engaged to a man MORE THAN THREE DECADES OLDER than her has revealed that strangers assume he is her father. Isabella Sainz has two children with Joseph Conner, 53, and the couple plan on tying the knot at the end of this year. The full time mom, from Miami, Florida, fell in love with the retired cop who is now a high school lacrosse coach when the pair worked together. Despite the fact that Isabella is almost 15 years younger than Joseph???s eldest child, the pair began dating. She had only been in a relationship with the lacrosse coach, dad of Joseph, 34, Jason, 24, Jacqueline, 23, and Justin, 21, for one month when she discovered she was pregnant. The mum of Autumn, 15 months, and Wynter, six weeks, said: ???We definitely get looks when we are out in public together. ???Strangers will say to Joseph: ???Are you her dad???? ???Sometimes we correct them and they go quiet, other times we???ll joke it off and pretend that I am his daughter.
(Picture: Isabella Sainz / SWNS)

Just five months after giving birth to Autumn in August 2017, Isabella became pregnant again.

She said: ‘I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I love children. I’m ready to have another one.’

Joseph asked Isabella to marry him in April 2018, proposing to her with a square-cut diamond ring during a walk on the beach.

The couple are now planning their dream wedding for the end of this year.

However, Isabella says it has been difficult to get others to understand their relationship – as her family and friends were not immediately supportive of her relationship with a man 33 years older than her.

She said: ‘My family were worried about the age difference but once they got to know us as a couple it was fine.

‘I have lost friends.

‘A lot of people went to college while I became a mom, our lives went in different directions.’

Joseph insisted that, for him, age was not a ‘big factor’ in his attraction to Isabella.

He said: ‘It really had more to do with her personality than her age.

‘Age to me was not a big factor.

‘I liked the way she handled things and her level of maturity.

‘She was just so much fun to be around.’

Joseph Conner, 53 and Isabella Sainz. See SWNS story SWNYage; A woman, 20, who is engaged to a man MORE THAN THREE DECADES OLDER than her has revealed that strangers assume he is her father. Isabella Sainz has two children with Joseph Conner, 53, and the couple plan on tying the knot at the end of this year. The full time mom, from Miami, Florida, fell in love with the retired cop who is now a high school lacrosse coach when the pair worked together. Despite the fact that Isabella is almost 15 years younger than Joseph???s eldest child, the pair began dating. She had only been in a relationship with the lacrosse coach, dad of Joseph, 34, Jason, 24, Jacqueline, 23, and Justin, 21, for one month when she discovered she was pregnant. The mum of Autumn, 15 months, and Wynter, six weeks, said: ???We definitely get looks when we are out in public together. ???Strangers will say to Joseph: ???Are you her dad???? ???Sometimes we correct them and they go quiet, other times we???ll joke it off and pretend that I am his daughter.
(Picture: Isabella Sainz / SWNS)

He added that most of his friends were blown away when they met Isabella.

He said: ‘After they saw her, they said: “Oh I get it”.

‘They think that I am with her because she is so good-looking, but that’s not the reason I’m involved with her.’

Joseph accused women his age of having the biggest problem with his age gap relationship.

He said: ‘Middle-aged women seem to be very uptight about it.

‘They stare at their husbands trying to see if they are on board with it.’

He added that his sons have accepted their new step-mother but his daughter has struggled with her father’s relationship.

He said: ‘I really feel like my boys don’t have an issue but I think my daughter did.

‘I get a feeling she wasn’t very happy about the whole situation although she has never said anything negative to me about it.’

Isabella confessed that although she does occasionally worry that Joseph is three decades older than her, they are making the most of their time together.

She said: ‘I do worry about medical problems and Joseph leaving me too soon.

‘But we don’t know what’s going to happen in life.

‘I’m living in the moment.

‘We have two girls together and he’s making the most of his time with them now.’

MORE: Men scared of women post #MeToo need to be educated not cancelled

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A 300-year-old home that once hosted royalty is selling for £950,000

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BNPS.co.uk (01202 558833) Picture: LodestoneProperty/BNPS A 300-year-old home that has hosted royalty and been a cattle market before it became a successful B&B is now on the market for ?950,000. The Old Parsonage was built in 1680 and when the house was owned by the Duchy of Cornwall for 200 years both Edward VIII and George VI stayed there while on royal duties in the area. The historic building in Farrington Gurney, Somerset, has also been home to clergy and a hotel and restaurant in its past.
(Picture: LodestoneProperty/BNPS)

A 300-year-old home that has hosted royalty is now on the market for £950,000.

The Old Parsonage was built in 1680 and the house was owned by the Duchy of Cornwall for 200 years, with both Edward VIII and George VI staying there while on royal duties in the area.

The historic building in Farrington Gurney, Somerset, has also been home to clergy and a hotel and restaurant in the past.

Now the Grade II listed home is run as a successful B&B and holiday let business, with six bedrooms in the main house and four pretty outbuildings that have been turned into annexes in the grounds.

It is now on the market with Lodestone Property.

The house was originally built in 1680 for Henry and Mary Hole who then passed it to their son John who had it modified in 1710 with a new grander facade and added two wings.

BNPS.co.uk (01202 558833) Picture: LodestoneProperty/BNPS A 300-year-old home that has hosted royalty and been a cattle market before it became a successful B&B is now on the market for ?950,000. The Old Parsonage was built in 1680 and when the house was owned by the Duchy of Cornwall for 200 years both Edward VIII and George VI stayed there while on royal duties in the area. The historic building in Farrington Gurney, Somerset, has also been home to clergy and a hotel and restaurant in its past.
(Picture: LodestoneProperty/BNPS)

John’s children died without heirs and the land passed into the ownership of the Duchy of Cornwall in the late 1700s, which it remained in until the Duchy sold it in 1993.

During its ownership the property was used to entertain royalty on a regular basis. The Prince of Wales, later King Edward VIII, definitely visited in 1934 and King George VI is documented visiting in 1937.

It was used as a clergy house for most of the 1800s before auctioneer Harry Blinman took over the lease in 1892 and established a cattle market on the land next door, which had served as an orchard.

In the past, the property has also been a hotel and restaurant, with the current owners buying it in 2008.

It has lots of original and period features such as fireplaces, sash and mullion windows, parquet flooring, timber beams, panelling and window shutters.

BNPS.co.uk (01202 558833) Picture: LodestoneProperty/BNPS A 300-year-old home that has hosted royalty and been a cattle market before it became a successful B&B is now on the market for ?950,000. The Old Parsonage was built in 1680 and when the house was owned by the Duchy of Cornwall for 200 years both Edward VIII and George VI stayed there while on royal duties in the area. The historic building in Farrington Gurney, Somerset, has also been home to clergy and a hotel and restaurant in its past.
(Picture: LodestoneProperty/BNPS)

The stunning staircase, added in 1710, is what you might expect in a house with royal connections and the sitting room next to the kitchen has a fireplace with a Prince of Wales feather design to reflect the ownership of the Duchy of Cornwall.

The house has 4,208 sq ft of accommodation and features a kitchen, sitting room, dining room, drawing room, six bedrooms and five bathrooms. There is also an annexe with a two-bedroom unit with a kitchen and sitting room and two studio flats.

It also comes with planning permission to turn another outbuilding into further accommodation.

Alex Relf from Lodestone Property said: ‘It is a particularly beautiful house and it has a lot of history to it, but it doesn’t have much land with it so it doesn’t suit everybody’s needs.

‘It is in quite a built-up village, which is why it works so well as a business. It could be a private home but I think it’s unlikely. It’s very much geared up for the holiday let and B&B market.

BNPS.co.uk (01202 558833) Picture: LodestoneProperty/BNPS A 300-year-old home that has hosted royalty and been a cattle market before it became a successful B&B is now on the market for ?950,000. The Old Parsonage was built in 1680 and when the house was owned by the Duchy of Cornwall for 200 years both Edward VIII and George VI stayed there while on royal duties in the area. The historic building in Farrington Gurney, Somerset, has also been home to clergy and a hotel and restaurant in its past.
(Picture: LodestoneProperty/BNPS)

‘The owners have been there for about 12 years and it has been very successful, they’ve got a large turnover.

‘Each year it seems to become more and more successful, they are very adaptable.

‘Now their children have grown up and are living on the other side of the country so they’d like to move closer to family.

‘The house will appeal to someone looking for a home with a business opportunity and someone who loves the history behind the building.’

MORE: Rip-off renting fees will be banned, but tenants may still pay the price

MORE: Trans people share their stories of how they chose their names


Man shows amazing recovery transformation after Crohn’s disease left him severely underweight

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(Picture: Manny Tura / SWNS)

Amazing pictures show the recovery of a man who suffered from a perforated bowel before becoming a bodybuilder.

27-year-old Manny Singh Tura underwent surgery for a stoma bag in May 2017 after his bowel perforated on Christmas day the year before.

He suffers from Crohn’s disease, a form of inflammatory bowel disease, which caused him to lost three stone in just two months, going from 48kg to 29kg over the space of 12 weeks.

In January 2018, after making a full recovery from the surgery, Manny competed and broke a regional powerlifting record at 180 kg, three times his body weight, which is now a healthy 53kg.

He even competed for Great Britain in September and came in fourth place.

Manny said: ‘Before getting ill, I was 50 kg and dropped down to around 29kg, I went from having a fairly muscular frame to being like a skeleton.

Manny Singh Tura February 2017. See SWNS story SWLEgym These incredible pictures show the remarkable recovery of a man who suffered from a burst bowel to became a bodybuilder - in just eight months. Manny Singh Tura, 27, received life-changing in May 2017 after his bowel had burst five months prior, the treatment caused him to lose three stone, 19 kg in two months. Eight months later, at 53 kg he competed and broke a regional power lighting record lifting 180 kg, three times his body weight. He even competed for Great Britain in September but came in fourth place. Manny said: "Before getting ill I was 50 kg and dropped down to around 29 kg, I went from having a fairly muscular frame to being like a skeleton. "It was sad looking at my body because I had never been this thin, I've always been small but this was completely different. "I admired bodybuilders so I made a promise to myself I would gain weight and be strong again, I did it in less than a year. "Winning and breaking a record made me feel like I had independence over my body again.? Manny who suffers from Crohn?s disease had to get an ileostomy bag on Christmas day which got removed five months later after he found six inches of my bowel had fallen out of his stomach as he was changing it.
(Picture: Manny Tura / SWNS)

‘It was sad looking at my body because I had never been this thin, I’ve always been small but this was completely different.

‘I admired bodybuilders so I made a promise to myself I would gain weight and be strong again, I did it in less than a year.

‘Winning and breaking a record made me feel like I had independence over my body again.’

After Manny’s stoma bag surgery, he struggled to gain weight, which led him to be hospitalised and tube-fed 1,200 calories for 12 hours a day.

He was not allowed to leave the hospital until he had gained weight so he began to research more about nutrition and learnt a change in diet would be needed in order to do this.

The professional bodybuilder swapped a can of coke a day, hot dogs and other processed goods for healthier options such as fish and prawns, he was allowed to go home five weeks after gaining 10kg.

Manny Singh Tura as he is now. See SWNS story SWLEgym These incredible pictures show the remarkable recovery of a man who suffered from a burst bowel to became a bodybuilder - in just eight months. Manny Singh Tura, 27, received life-changing in May 2017 after his bowel had burst five months prior, the treatment caused him to lose three stone, 19 kg in two months. Eight months later, at 53 kg he competed and broke a regional power lighting record lifting 180 kg, three times his body weight. He even competed for Great Britain in September but came in fourth place. Manny said: "Before getting ill I was 50 kg and dropped down to around 29 kg, I went from having a fairly muscular frame to being like a skeleton. "It was sad looking at my body because I had never been this thin, I've always been small but this was completely different. "I admired bodybuilders so I made a promise to myself I would gain weight and be strong again, I did it in less than a year. "Winning and breaking a record made me feel like I had independence over my body again.? Manny who suffers from Crohn?s disease had to get an ileostomy bag on Christmas day which got removed five months later after he found six inches of my bowel had fallen out of his stomach as he was changing it.
(Picture: Manny Tura / SWNS)

Manny, who has since had his stoma reversed meaning he no longer needs the bag, said: ‘I went from having three meals a day to five, my new strict diet helped me gain weight, I gained like 1kg a day.

‘One friend would make me mackerel, sardines and prawns every single night and each morning he would visit me in the hospital to drop off the food.

‘I had a hotplate for me to warm food a friend snuck in, I’d use it when doctors and nurses weren’t around. It was a lifesaver. And I had a can of air freshener to hide the smell of fish.

‘When I got home, I still had to tube-feed but I was more aware of what I was putting in my body.’

He still suffers from Crohn’s disease but says his new lifestyle helps him keep it under control but he has to go to the gym at least five times a week and eat healthily.

Manny Singh Tura with his ileostomy bag removed, June 2017. See SWNS story SWLEgym These incredible pictures show the remarkable recovery of a man who suffered from a burst bowel to became a bodybuilder - in just eight months. Manny Singh Tura, 27, received life-changing in May 2017 after his bowel had burst five months prior, the treatment caused him to lose three stone, 19 kg in two months. Eight months later, at 53 kg he competed and broke a regional power lighting record lifting 180 kg, three times his body weight. He even competed for Great Britain in September but came in fourth place. Manny said: "Before getting ill I was 50 kg and dropped down to around 29 kg, I went from having a fairly muscular frame to being like a skeleton. "It was sad looking at my body because I had never been this thin, I've always been small but this was completely different. "I admired bodybuilders so I made a promise to myself I would gain weight and be strong again, I did it in less than a year. "Winning and breaking a record made me feel like I had independence over my body again.? Manny who suffers from Crohn?s disease had to get an ileostomy bag on Christmas day which got removed five months later after he found six inches of my bowel had fallen out of his stomach as he was changing it.
(Picture: Manny Tura / SWNS)

He said: ‘Crohn’s doesn’t affect me, it’s a part of who I am but I have it under control so on a day to day basis.

‘Doctors were amazing and took good care of me but there was never any recommendations of what type of diet I should have, I felt helpless but I had to do my own research to find ways to help myself.

‘I used to eat donner kebabs and other junk foods regularly but once I stopped the stomach pain just went away, I felt so much better.’

Manny is not able to play sports like football in case a ball strikes him in the stomach otherwise that could lead him back to the hospital.

He has to be careful not to strain anything even when he is lifting, he has to take extra care, he documented his journey online on a blog called All My Friends Are Eggs.

MORE: Restaurants: could you please stop handing my husband the wine list first?

MORE: Five women open up about how having a stoma bag has affected their love lives

What I Rent: Paula and Rianna, £1,300 a month for a two-bedroom flat in Peckham

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LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE Tenants Paula Akpan (left) and Rianna Walcott (right) are pictured in the living room of their two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 rent a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Rianna and Paula rent a flat in Peckham (Picture: Susannah Ireland)

Yep, it’s time for another look inside someone’s rented property.

No, not just so we can judge the state of their toothbrush or mention that up north you could get a house with a garden for half the price of this flat.

It’s in order to get some clarity on what people pay and what they get for their money in London. That’s the whole point of our weekly series, What I Rent.

(Although we do also enjoy nosing around people’s things and seeing how they’ve made their places their own.)

This week we’re looking around a two-bedroom flat in Peckham, currently rented out by friends Paula and Rianna.

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE Tenants Paula Akpan (left) and Rianna Walcott (right) are pictured in the living room of their two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 rent a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Paula’s on the left wearing jeans, Rianna is on the right, holding a yellow pillow and wearing some excellent green trousers (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)

Oh, hey, Paula. How much rent do you pay?

£1,300 a month total. We pay about £60 each in bills.

And what do you get for what you pay?

Two bedrooms, one kitchen, one living room/dining area, one bathroom, one garden.

How did you end up living here?

I’ve been here since March 2018 and Rianna moved in October. I found the flat via a letting agent.

Do you like where you live?

We’re happy with where we live, it’s a lovely area. Peckham is very black compared to North London where we’re both from but gentrification is real and ever-prevalent.

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of a clock in the living room of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
This clock was painted by Rianna’s sister, Maia (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)

Do you feel like you have enough space?

Our rooms could definitely be bigger but we also have the whole flat to ourselves and we spend most of our time hanging out in our living room.

Paula, what’s it like living with Rianna?

I hate her. Joking!!!

She’s very easy to live with – it definitely helps that we’ve known each other since year seven and went to the same school. Teachers often mistook us for one another despite looking nothing alike. Racism is a bitch.

How have you made the flat feel like home?

Honestly I could live in a cardboard box but Rianna, on the other hand, is a real homebody and has added her touch with plants, lighting and we have lots of art.

Rianna feels like it’s really important for her to mention that she brought in a sideboard because before that, there was just random shit in the corner of the living room (I, Paula, dispute this).

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of details in the living room of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
You’ll spot plenty of artwork around the flat, mostly from Rianna and Paula’s super creative friends (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)

You’ve got some great artwork around the flat – how do you find the pieces you want to have on display?

Honestly, a lot of the artwork was bought at my festival, Black Girl Fest, and Rianna’s sister Maia painted the clock.

We’re part of a massive network of black creatives so basically all of our friends are artists and illustrators so they get a lot of our money.

Are there any problems with the flat?

We have a damp cupboard of doom at the front of the flat that we never go into.

It’s also not got a huge amount of storage so we have to find very creative ways to store our things.

Are you planning to move again? 

We’re going to live together forever and ever. We’re in the process of renewing our tenancy.

Have you considered buying a place?

Neither of us have money, Ellen. This is a really hurtful question and we feel attacked.

Sorry to both. Let’s have a look at the place, then. 

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of the living room of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
The living room and dining area, where the pair spend most of their time (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of the living room of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Rianna wants you to know she bought the sideboard (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of books in the living room of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
A healthy collection of books in the living room (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of the kitchen of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
The living room leads into the kitchen (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of the kitchen of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Just enough room for two (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of a spice rack in the kitchen of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
And plenty of spices (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of the garden of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
They’re lucky enough to have a garden (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of plant pots in the garden of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
(Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of the garden of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
We’re impressed by the plant pots (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE Tenant Rianna Walcott pictured in her bedroom of her two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula and her flatmate Paula Akpan pay ?1300 rent in total: Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Here’s Rianna’s room (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of books in the bedroom of tenant Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Rianna and her flatmate Paula Akpan pay ?1300 rent in total: Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
We’re big fans of her book display (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of the bedroom of tenant Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Rianna and her flatmate Paula Akpan pay ?1300 rent in total: Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Rianna’s room has direct access to the garden, which is handy (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of books in the bedroom of tenant Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Rianna and her flatmate Paula Akpan pay ?1300 rent in total: Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
If you look closely, you’ll see Rianna’s name on The Colour of Madness. That’s because she wrote that book along with Samara Linton! Very cool. (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of details in the bedroom of tenant Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Rianna and her flatmate Paula Akpan pay ?1300 rent in total: Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
A glorious array of glasses, jewellery, and cards (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE Tenant Paula Akpan pictured in her bedroom of her two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula and her flatmate Rianna Walcott pay ?1300 rent in total: Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Here’s Paula’s room, which also has a door to the garden (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of details in the bedroom of tenant Paula Akpan's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula and her flatmate Rianna Walcott pay ?1300 rent in total: Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
Yet more brilliant artwork. Also, we think Paula likes candles (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of the bedroom of tenant Paula Akpan's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula and her flatmate Rianna Walcott pay ?1300 rent in total: Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
(Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of details in the bedroom of tenant Paula Akpan's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula and her flatmate Rianna Walcott pay ?1300 rent in total: Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
How many candles have you spotted so far? (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of the bathroom of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
And finally, the bathroom (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of cleaning products in the bathroom of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
(Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, JANUARY 12TH 2019. WHAT I RENT: PECKHAM RYE General view of toothbrushes in the bathroom of tenants Paula Akpan and Rianna Walcott's two bedroomed flat in Peckham Rye, London, 12th January 2019. Paula pays ?635 and Rianna pays ?665 a month, not including bills. Photo credit: Susannah Ireland
We think this is the first time we’ve seen a bathroom basket for the soaps and dental care, and we like it (Picture: Susannah Ireland/Metro.co.uk)

What I Rent is a weekly series that’s out every Tuesday at 10am. Check back next week to have a nose around another rented property in London.

How to get involved in What I Rent

What I Rent is Metro.co.uk's weekly series that takes you inside the places in London people are renting, to give us all a better sense of what's normal and how much we should be paying.

If you fancy taking part, please email whatirent@metro.co.uk.

You'll need to have pictures taken of your kitchen, living room, bathroom, and bedroom, plus a few photos of you in your room. Make sure you get permission for your housemates!

You'll also need to be okay with sharing how much you're paying for rent, as that's pretty important.

MORE: What I Rent: Carlie and her daughter, £1,500 a month for a two-bedroom flat in Streatham Hill

MORE: What I Rent: Lee, £825 per month for a room in a two-bedroom flat in Holloway

MORE: No, renting doesn’t mean that you’re ‘throwing your money down the drain’

 

Gals Aloud, a tribute drag act to the girl band, are touring the country

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Before Cheryl-Tweedy-Cole-Fernandez-Versini was doing bits on the X Factor among other things, she was in a band called Girls Aloud. Remember them?

A drag production company which is a huge fan of the girlbrand has come up with their own spin on the act with their very own Gals Aloud.

TuckShop Presents is the organisation putting together a tribute group with a difference – the entire group is made up of drag acts.

(Picture: TuckShop Presents)

Chris Clegg, creative director of the company, told Metro.co.uk how TuckShop is one of a kind, inspired by RuPaul’s Drag Race.

‘I come from a theatre production background so wanted to make something that was bold.

‘We’ve seen the popularity of drag rise and we’ve also seen a huge influx of US drag queens coming over and doing big gigs, which is awesome.

‘I wanted to make something that tried to elevate UK drag to the same level of visibility and production. With TuckShop we aim to push the spotlight onto homegrown talent, and some talent that you may not otherwise see.

(Picture: TuckShop Presents)

‘I also feel it’s needed as there’s no central hub for drag performers, no one to help them chase invoices, to help them build their brand, showreels, give them access to good designers, website builders, photographers and more.

‘Drag queens are some of the hardest working entertainers in the business as they do everything themselves.

‘We are just a year old but we have big plans to become a real cornerstone of the drag community that spreads across the whole of the UK. We are also currently working on content to launch TuckShopTV as an online platform to raise the profile of as many drag performers as we can.’

The queens in Gals Aloud include HERR, Cheryl Hole, Ophelia Love, Lydia L’Scabies, Tayce, and Kitty Scott Claus who are also slaying with their independent careers.

The band’s soared in popularity too, having to turn away guests at the door, having performed at the Underbelly on the Southbank, London as well as the Leicester Square Christmas festival.

‘It’s all been a bit of a whirlwind for the queens who are used to playing bars and nightclubs to be thrown into a different place, but they are stepping up more than I could ever imagine and they are crushing it,’ added Chris.

(Picture: TuckShop Presents)

‘We’ve just announced nine dates on a UK Tour, and have more to add in soon. I think the timing of this is just right. The fans of Girls Aloud are coming to an age where they have disposable income, and a sense of nostalgia for the early 2000s is really getting strong.’

So basically, millennials with a keen sense of nostalgia might want to get a hold of the tickets (to be released soon).

Oh and exciting news, Spice Gals are in the works.

MORE: The Cocoa Butter Club is a space for black drag acts and performers of colour

MORE: Meet the 11-year-old ‘drag kid’ who is friends with RuPaul and struts for LGBT rights

MORE: Famous women are openly talking about their body dysmorphia, but no one is listening

How to get the perfect shave without spending a fortune

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Whether you see it as right of passage or a chore that you have to get through, shaving your face is a must for most men.

From taming an unruly beard to getting the clean-cut look, we all need to rely on a trusty razor to keep us looking sharp.

But, thanks to nicks, cuts and rashes, what should be a relaxing part of our grooming regime is a pain in the neck for some. Literally.

So, here we reveal the step-by-step guide to a perfect shave. And no, you won’t need to spend a fortune – or use a scrunched up piece of toilet roll ever again!

We reveal the step-buy-step guide to the perfect guide
Picture: Find shaving a bore? We reveal the step-buy-step guide to the perfect guide

Scrub up well

A clean canvas is essential when shaving so make sure you use a good facial scrub to exfoliate away any debris like dead skin or dirt. Try and use alcohol-free cleansers as they can dry out the skin and only add to irritation.

Then prepare the skin to be shaved by opening the pores; this is best done by having a shower first. If you fancy a real pamper session, try using a warm towel on your face for three-minutes before reaching for the razor.

Picture: First, make sure your face is ready by washing or exfoliating the skin

Buy the right blade

The most important part of any perfect shave – the blade! A lot has been said in recent years about investing in expensive shaving kits – from stainless steel barber’s razors to badger hair (yes!) brushes – but why make an everyday necessity into an expensive fuss? After all, more than half of men* said they will buy more affordable versions of their usual branded shaving products – as long as they do the job.

Ideally, you should be using sharp blades and changing them regularly. That’s where Superdrug Smartfit Triple Blade Razor Refills can help. Providing super-close results thanks to its triple coated blades, while designed to protect the skin with a lubricating gel – and fitting the Gillette® Mach3®** handle – it’s the perfect solution if you want value for money in the grooming department.

And there’s never been a better time to try it out – Superdrug are giving away free Smartfit Triple Blade Razor Refills (4 pack) when you buy a Gillette® Mach3® handle in-store or online.***

Lather it on

Never try to shave without a foam or cream. This is essential for softening tough facial hairs and stubble and allowing your razor to glide seamlessly along the face. Rub in your chosen cream in an upward circular motion into the hairs to make them easier to cut.

Lather up and use sharp blades which you should change regularly to stop irritation

One direction

With or against the grain; that is the question. Well, it all depends on which direction your hair grows. If your neck hair grows upwards, start from the end of your facial hair and go up to the chin. Then, work your way down from the cheekbone on each side.

Keep your facial muscles relaxed (no funny mirror faces, please) and use your hand to stretch the skin to allow your razor to go along easier. If you need to get a closer shave, go over the area again – but resist doing it more than three times or in rough, ragged movements – it’ll leave you blotchy and sore. Rinse your razor after every stroke.

Take your time

Everyone needs some time to make themselves look and feel good – so why not transform your shaving into a ritual worth enjoying. Whether you like to tackle your facial hair in the morning or evening, give yourself at least 15 minutes to ensure you get the best results. Let’s be honest, missed spots and cuts are never a good look.

Go against the grain and rinse your razor
Picture: Make sure you go against the grain of your hair and rinse your razor after each stroke

Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise

No shave is perfect without soothing the skin afterwards. Choose your favourite moisturiser, squeeze a pea size amount on to your palm and then dab around the face with the tips of your fingers. Then, gently rub into the skin in upwards motions. Then you’re ready to face the world feeling fresh.

Inspired to get the perfect shave? Buy your razor and blades HERE…

*Mintel report found that 54 per cent of men are actively looking for equivalents to their usual branded cosmetic products

**This product is not manufactured or distributed by The Gillette company LLC, owner of the registered trademark Mach3®

***Terms and conditions: 1 free product per transaction. Subject to availability. Selected lines only. Offer Ends 26/02/19.

What it’s like when part of your brain bursts without any warning

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Caption: Brain aneurysm

Danielle was the healthiest she had ever been.

She’d lost five stone, was enjoying exercise again, was training to start her own business and embracing life.

But one night, she went to sleep and her memories of the next six days, are completely gone.

In the middle of the night, unknown to her she got up, feeling unwell she got herself into the bath, where she fell unconscious and her dad found her.

Without any real symptoms or warning signs, part of Danielle’s brain had ruptured.

(Picture: Peach and Teal photography)

Known as a brain aneurysm, Danielle had a bulge in a blood vessel caused by a weakness in the blood vessel wall, usually where it branches.

As blood passes through the weakened blood vessel, the blood pressure causes a small area to bulge outwards like a balloon, and eventually burst.

Before falling ill, Danielle, now 38, had no idea there was anything wrong.

She tells Metro.co.uk: ‘I was having headaches in the run up to the aneurysm rupturing

‘I used to suffer with migraines as a teenager and at the time of the month, I get headaches.

‘I was commuting every day from Sheffield to Leeds for work and I was tired. I didn’t think it was anything out of the ordinary to be honest.

‘There were a few strange things when I look back now. I went down to Northampton that week and I left the house and got a taxi two hours before my train time.

‘I was getting confused a bit but I just put it down to tiredness. I guess you can say those were symptoms but it is only that I look back now that I realise those were warning signs. You would never think there was anything wrong based on tiredness and a little confusion.

‘On the Thursday before my rupture, I had a doctors appointment where she was checking my weight because I had lost five stone.

‘She was saying I was doing really well. I walked out of the doctors surgery and I felt amazing.

‘The morning my aneurysm ruptured, I got up and did a hot yoga class and then went to meet a friend. I came home and had dinner and I felt fine.

‘I went to bed early because I felt a bit tired. I felt perfectly fine and six days later, I woke up in critical care and found out I had an aneurysm that had ruptured.’

What is a brain aneurysm?

A brain aneurysm is a weakened area in the wall of an artery or blood vessel that supplies blood to the brain.

As blood passes through, the pressure causes the weakened area to bulge or “balloon” outwards into a blister-like shape.

If the expansion of the aneurysm reaches a point where the wall becomes too thin, the aneurysm will rupture and bleed into the space around the brain.

This is known as a brain haemorrhage and urgent medical attention is required.

Brain aneurysms are unpredictable and may not show any symptoms until they either become very large or rupture.

Symptoms of a ruptured aneurysm usually begin with a sudden agonising headache, which can peak within 60 seconds. Other example symptoms may include feeling or being sick, blurred or double vision, confusion and loss of consciousness.

Women are more likely to suffer from brain aneurysms and they tend to happen more in those under the age of 60.

Factors such as high blood pressure, smoking, alcohol and drug use can increase the risk significantly, while there can also be a genetic link.

Headway – the brain injury association

At some point during the night of 13 May 2017, Danielle got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom – something she still has no memory of.

Instead of going back to bed, Danielle climbed into the bath to lie down. She was physically sick and then fell unconscious.

Her mum was downstairs watching TV but luckily her dad had also gone to bed early.

He was woken up by a loud ‘bellowing noise’ but he had no idea what it was.

He got out of bed and went to investigate – he found the bathroom door open but the light was off so he didn’t think there was anyone inside but he knew that’s where the sound seemed to be coming from.

When he walked into the bathroom, he found Danielle and quickly sprung into action, first getting help from her mum and then calling an ambulance.

She was rushed to Royal Hallamshire hospital where, the next morning, she was taken for surgery to ‘coil’ the aneurysm, which means coils are inserted into the aneurysm through the arteries that run from the groin to the brain.

They stop blood flowing into the aneurysm and therefore reduce the risk of a bleed or a re-bleed.

Danielle was placed in an induced coma for three days and when she woke up, she had lost most of her memories.

She explains: ‘It completely turned everything upside down. I have no memory at all of what happened.

(Picture: Peach and Teal photography)

‘I woke up three days later but I have no memory of that still. They asked me to name my immediate family and I have no memory of any of them.

‘Apparently my voice had completely changed and it was like I was talking in a child’s voice.

‘The first thing I remember is three days after that (six days after the rupture). Two of my friends were sat at the end of my bed and I can remember them being there. Slowly some of my memories started to come back.’

Danielle was in hospital for five weeks as she learnt how to walk, wash herself and feed herself again.

But even when she returned home, coming to terms with what had happened was still very difficult.

She says: ‘Five weeks in hospital was like an absolute eternity. Every morning, I would pray I was going home and one day I got that green light, it was like all my prayers had been answered.

‘I was finally getting out and I thought that meant I was better but what happened to me was so traumatic and when I was in hospital, it still didn’t sink in. I had 24-hour care there.

‘When I went home, I wasn’t the same person I was the last time, the day of my rupture.

‘I was happy to come home but my life had changed.

I had a fear of being on my own and something else happening to me.

‘I wasn’t able to work and having to work out bills and day-to-day life after something so severe has happened to your brain is really difficult.

‘I think I had a realisation that I wasn’t going to be able to just go back to my old life.

‘I was relying on my parents to take me everywhere. I wasn’t able to drive and someone had to come with me. I felt like I retreated to being a child again. I was a very independent person so it was really difficult for me to deal with this huge reliance on my family.’

Now, 20 months on from her brain injury, Danielle has returned to work but she still struggles with some of the effects of what happened.

‘It takes up to two years for the brain to heal,’ she says. ‘I know I am not 100% better. People would look at me and think I looked fine so they assumed I was fine. They didn’t see the memory problems and fatigue that still affected me.

‘I still get symptoms. I have weakness in my right side. My memory has improved drastically but I do misplace things a lot and I forget little things, particularly when I am stressed.

‘There is a huge lack of understanding around brain injuries. It is such a broad term and it can affect people in so many different ways.’

With a brain injury, the symptoms and effects of what happens can vary hugely depending on where in the brain the rupture happens.

With the brain controlling the entire body, an injury can have an impact on almost everything you do.

Chris after completing a tough mudder, before his brain injury (Picture: Chris Bryant)

Chris, 31, from Stanford, Lincolnshire, was left completely unable to walk, talk or move after an arteriovenous malformation – a type of brain aneurysm – ruptured on 8 July 2015.

An AVM is a collection of blood vessels which gets tangled and bursts.

Unlike Danielle, Chris doesn’t remember having any symptoms until he went for a ride on his motorbike around Rutland Water Reservoir, an area he knew well.

But not long after he left, he called his girlfriend and told her he was suffering from a bad headache and he was lost.

She realised something was wrong and went to find him.

Chris and his partner Max in March 2018 (Picture: Chris Bryant)

Luckily some staff from the reservoir noticed him and called an ambulance.

He was taken to hospital in Cambridge where he had a procedure to insert a drain to remove the blood around his brain.

He was then sedated and when he woke up, he had no idea who the people around him were.

He explained: ‘I wasn’t having any headaches or anything. I did have a very stressful job at the time but I don’t recall any thing that could have been a symptom.

‘It just happened very suddenly and then I woke up and I had no idea who anyone was. It was pretty scary.

‘For a while, the doctors were saying that they weren’t sure I was going to make a full recovery and if I did recover, they didn’t know what I was going to be like.

‘My partner said that the doctor showed her a scan and it was all grey. She asked what it was and they explained that it was blood – my entire brain was just surrounded.’

The blood in Chris’ brain pressed on his optic nerve and left him partially sighted.

The injury to the brain also meant that he had to learn to do everything again.

He spent five months in hospital, followed by months in two different rehabilitation hospitals.

Altogether, he was having treatment for over a year.

Chris after his injury in May 2018 (Picture: Chris Bryant)

He explains: ‘It took a very long time to remember anything. My Mum put together a book with pictures so I could try and remember people.

‘I had to have speech and language therapy and for a long time, I could only communicate with hand signals. One of the first thing my speech therapist taught me was to say “hello, mum”.

‘She came to the hospital and I could finally say it and that was so emotional.’

Even after leaving rehab in 2017, Chris still struggled with some aspects of his day-to-day life.

‘I still had a lot of problems with my cognitive function. My depth perception was out so much. I would try to pick up things on a plate and just completely miss,’ he explains.

Now over three years on from his injury, Chris is working in a new job and is returning to normal life.

‘I didn’t want to go back to what I did before. It was a very stressful job and I think that could have contributed to my brain injury. My health is much more important,’ he said.

How to get help?

If you or someone you know has suffered a brain injury, you can get help and advice from Headway. Call their helpline on 0808 800 2244, email helpline@headway.org.uk or visit https://www.headway.org.uk 

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