This little girl only wants four things for Christmas; but one of them is a real-life baby

November 24, 2015, 10:02 am

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Christmas is hard enough now that kids want iPads and tablets under the tree, instead of the Bratz doll or Groovy Chick merchandise we were asking for when we were younger well, I was, anyway).

But what about when your child asks you for something that you just can’t get them?

Not just because you can’t afford it, but because, well, it’s entirely impossible to give a child a real-life baby for Christmas. Unless you’re already expecting and are happy to hand your newborn over to the hands of a young child.

Yes, seriously.

According to Reddit user PaulaDeenButtaQueen, her… Read the full story

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Driving teacher accidentally texts his student ‘Can’t wait for us to be naked and making love’

November 24, 2015, 10:11 am

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It’s always awkward when you text the wrong person. Even more so when that person is actually a student of yours that you’re supposedly teaching to drive.

That’s exactly what happened to Twitter user @olivawardd when she received the strangest text from her driving teacher, Simon, one evening.

Starting the conversation by asking her what time she could do her next lesson, the unanswered message was followed by: ‘Can’t wait for us to be naked and making love xx xx xx xx’

But, fortunately (sort of) she soon after received another text saying: ‘Shit sorry wrong person.’

Understatement.

Help… Read the full story

6 reasons why your porn habit might actually be good for you

November 24, 2015, 10:51 am

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Porn has got a bit a bad rep over the years. From accusations that it’s rewiring people’s brains and perceptions on sex, to causing erectile dysfunction.

Then there was the time when the government banned porn that focused on female pleasure. That wasn’t great either.

Most recently, it has been blamed for fueling sexual addiction by researchers by the University of Cambridge.

Luckily, other research suggests that it might not be as bad you think. We’ve compiled together some of the scientifically suggested benefits of pornography that might put you a little at ease.

Here are six reasons why pornography might be good for you after all.

1) It increases libido

There might… Read the full story

Man makes his own John Cena birthday card for best pal; recording included

November 24, 2015, 11:06 am

≫ Next: 11 reasons why Cookie Lyon is an inspiration

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It’s a well known fact that John Cena has been trolling the internet for a while now. Literally.

People have gone crazy on memes and gifs aswell as ridiculous videos, all sharing the same aim – to annoy the s*** out of their mates.

But no one more so than this one Reddit user, spankydeluxe (nice choice of username), who decided to take not just one, but three separate birthday cards in order to make the ultimate John Cena birthday card for his best friend.

Voice… Read the full story

11 reasons why Cookie Lyon is an inspiration

November 24, 2015, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: 11 clever ways to make your money go further this Christmas

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All hail Cookie Lyons aka Queen C.

Unless you’ve been living in the jungle without electricity, and a Wi-Fi signal, you have no excuse to not know all about Cookie Lyons played by Taraji P. Henderson.

She is the star of amazingly good TV show Empire. Not only is she intelligent, strong and has a wardrobe to make Anna Wintour weep with jealousy, she is also fierce, street smart and loyal.

And fabulous.

1. Her reputation

Cookie is a bit like Madonna, because similar to her she doesn’t need a surname. Instead she is known by her first name, which let’s face it, is a pretty cool name in itself.

2. One liners

The majority of people only watch Empire so that they can take Cookie’s epic one-liners and make memes.

Ever think of a perfect response to give to someone during… Read the full story

11 clever ways to make your money go further this Christmas

November 24, 2015, 2:47 pm

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Are you excited for Christmas? No? Well, you should be, even if you’re worried that you won’t be able to get the kids everything they asked for.

It can be tough to stretch your money out over the festive period and it might just give you a few sleepless nights, rather than making you feel all Christmassy.

But if you’re fretting about being able to afford all the new phones and all the toys the kids want, then stop right now.

We’ve got 11 brilliant tips to make your money go much further and still allow you to enjoy a great Christmas.

Shop online

It’s an obvious one, but you can make some serious savings by going online and avoiding the rush of everyone’s Christmas shopping.

If your kids or partner are after some fancy electronics, then be sure to check out all the Black Friday deals. Retailers often offer discounts of well over 50 percent ,… Read the full story

Should you go out tonight or stay in? Take our quiz to find out

November 24, 2015, 3:53 pm

≫ Next: So this is how you clean a baby panda

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It’s nearly winter – so you can take a lot of persuading to go out at night.

Let’s face it – with cold and wet weather, dark nights and the penny-pinching that comes with the dreaded Christmas build-up, it would actually take all of Santa’s reindeer to drag you out that door.

And there is not much better than curling up on the sofa, cracking the heating up a notch and lazing in front of the box on a wintry evening.

Nights in are cosy and relaxing, but then nights out are all fun and banter – so it can be a bit tricky to decide what to do.

As you’re about to discover, there are… Read the full story

So this is how you clean a baby panda

November 24, 2015, 11:59 pm

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Is there anything better in life than baby pandas?

One day we fully intend to jack in our job and move to China to re-train as a panda nanny.

Because then your daily ‘chores’ would include feeding panda cubs bottles and giving them sponge baths. Rather than sending passive-aggressive emails and spreadsheets.

This live footage of a panda carer at a zoo in Shanghai, China, trying to give two cuddly cubs a quick wipe under the pits was posted on Facebook this week by iPanda.

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20 ways to celebrate Thanksgiving in London

November 25, 2015, 12:00 am

≫ Next: 25 struggles you only understand if you work in retail at Christmas

≪ Previous: So this is how you clean a baby panda

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Just because you aren’t based in the US it doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

The US national holiday tomorrow (Thursday, November 26) is an important date in the calendar.

Thanksgiving is a time for large family gatherings and get-togethers with friends.

For many it’s just as important as Christmas.

Here’s 15 ways you can enjoy Thanksgiving in London – no flying necessary.

1. Start with a Thanksgiving themed cocktail

Read the full story

25 struggles you only understand if you work in retail at Christmas

November 25, 2015, 1:00 am

≫ Next: Woman left totally unrecognisable after extreme allergic reaction to hair dye

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Working in retail at Christmas definitely has its good points – the atmosphere is festive, you know you are providing gifts that will bring smiles to many faces and the discount is mightily helpful with your own Christmas shopping. 

But, let’s face it – overall it is an sparkly nightmare consisting of headache inducing chaos that makes you question why you are in the job.

Here are 25 struggles that people who work in retail or have done in the past know to be true about that dreaded Christmas period:

1. It… Read the full story

Woman left totally unrecognisable after extreme allergic reaction to hair dye

November 25, 2015, 1:11 am

≫ Next: This real life Star Wars cantina has bantha milk and a dead Greedo

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If you have a tendency to roll your eyes when your hairdresser insists on a 48-hour patch test before colouring your hair, then this is for you.

An Imgur user has posted a series of shocking pictures documenting her friend’s allergic reaction to hair dye, which ended in a trip to the ER.

User thechosenginger posted about the photos, which show her friend’s face painfully swollen, leaving her totally unrecognisable, on Reddit’s r/wtf forum.

She adds that this wasn’t the result of an at-home dye job, either. It was done by a professional stylist at a salon and ‘they have… Read the full story

This real life Star Wars cantina has bantha milk and a dead Greedo

November 25, 2015, 2:03 am

≫ Next: These temporary tattoos work as a health monitor and bank card

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Yep, time to get excited. Star Wars: the Force Awakens is less than a month away, and we can happily fill the next few weeks with marathon Star Wars watching sessions and all the galaxy themed fun we can think of.

Helping us out in our mission to live the full Star Wars life until the film reaches our screens is fan-run group For the Love of The Force, which has made a real-life version of the cantina from Episode IV: A New Hope.

Read the full story

These temporary tattoos work as a health monitor and bank card

November 25, 2015, 2:52 am

≫ Next: People are sharing the very last message they got from loved ones and it’s heartbreaking

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The future is now. The future is temporary tattoos.

Austin based software design company Chaotic Moon has just unveiled their new creation: temporary tattoos that work as a fitness tracker, health monitor, and bank card.

Created to improve on wearable tech that takes up space on the body, tech tats are – as the name suggests – temporary tattoos that you can apply anywhere to monitor your body.

Chaotic Moon recommends the tattoos as an alternative to going to a doctor once a year for a physical checkup. Instead, you apply the tattoo to your body, it monitors… Read the full story

People are sharing the very last message they got from loved ones and it’s heartbreaking

November 25, 2015, 2:57 am

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There’s something quite brutal about reading the final furious text exchanges between a couple who have long since split up. Or the unfinished conversations between best friends that went their separate ways.

Even more poignant are the day-to-day texts sent to loved ones who sadly passed away before their family and friends could say what really matters.

Which is why the Last Message Received Tumblr account is so heartbreaking.

The blog, where people anonymously post final texts and messages from ex-partners, ex-friends, as well as family and friends who have passed away, was set up earlier this month by… Read the full story

Richard Herring: My joy is spoiled by a wee dilemma

November 25, 2015, 3:10 am

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My latest tour show, Happy Now? (coming to a town near you in the spring of 2016 – tickets make the perfect Christmas gift for your family, friends, pets and enemies) attempts to investigate whether, at the age of 48, I am finally content and whether happiness is even desirable.

Because the problem with being happy is that, as soon as you realise you have achieved a state of joy, you are immediately terrified about all the things that could happen to spoil it and consequently become more unhappy than you would have been if you’d never been happy in the first place.

Miserable sods… Read the full story

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This woman is making sourdough bread out of her vaginal yeast

November 25, 2015, 3:32 am

≫ Next: People are using Airbnb as a hookup app

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Don’t all thrush at once.

Thrush, it’s a right pain in the, well, vagina, but one blogger is trying to make something good out of a rather itchy situation.

Stavvers – who describes herself as ‘Anarchist. Feminist. Queer. All angry.’ – is undertaking a project to see if she can use her vaginal yeast to make sourdough bread.

Writing on her blog she explains: ‘It all started with a fatal combination of a slightly perverse sense of humour, a keenly scientific mind, and touch of the thrush.

‘Waking up on Saturday with the familiar itchy burny fanny, I… Read the full story

People are using Airbnb as a hookup app

November 25, 2015, 3:48 am

≫ Next: Get in the mood for teledildonics: The app that logs your orgasms and turns your phone into a vibrator

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People are sex-driven animals, and nothing is sacred. Not even cheap accommodation.

Business Insider just reported on a trend of people using Airbnb – the app that lets people rent out their rooms for short stays – as a sort of holiday meets Tinder mashup. Meaning they’re using it for hookups.

When you sign up to list or search for a room or apartment, you’re encouraged to add a profile photo so potential guests know who they’re about to stay with.

But of course, because people are massive horndogs, these profile pictures are also being used as filtering system so guests… Read the full story

Get in the mood for teledildonics: The app that logs your orgasms and turns your phone into a vibrator

November 25, 2015, 4:30 am

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Did you have an orgasm today? Well, did you? I’m not being brash, this is the question your smartphone could be asking as part of your routine health monitoring.

Given that our phones can tell us how many steps we take, record our calorie and alcohol intake, sleep quality, heart rate and even fertility, it was only a matter of time before the digital age turned its prying eyes to our sex life.

Oh yes. Algorithmic analysis of your orgasms is here and, if you use the resulting data correctly, you could have more of them, and quicker.

At least that’s the idea behind app Ohmibod, which lets you log and track your orgasms. Ever wondered what time of day you are more likely to climax quicker (no, me neither)? The app, which launched in 2013 but has recently been updated with the orgasm tracker, will figure it out.

Read the full story

This new Kickstarter project lets you surf at your desk

November 25, 2015, 4:43 am

≫ Next: Today in deeply disturbing alcohol trends: Gravy and bourbon shots

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For anyone who fancies trying a standing desk, but feels a bit put off by aching knees and restless legs.

A new Kickstarter project, the Wurf Board, is helping to make standing desks a bit better for you – and less boring.

We all know we shouldn’t be sitting all day. But standing for prolonged periods of time can cause damage, too, locking your knees and causing stiffness unless you’re moving around during the day.

The Wurf Board reduces the impact from standing on the floor, giving you a softer platform that encourages you to shift your weight and stay comfortable.

Plus, you can pretend you’re surfing at work.

It’s inflatable, so can be adjusted to provide firm support or a softer, more springy feel, and is raised two inches off the ground. You can shift it around with your feet to make sure… Read the full story

Today in deeply disturbing alcohol trends: Gravy and bourbon shots

November 26, 2015, 9:24 am

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Well. This is what we’ve come to.

In this thing we call life, where people serve alcohol in shoes and pies live inside cakes, the time has come for some madman to make shots out of gravy.

That madman is whoever the heck is in charge of food and drink at South Carolina based restaurant Edmund’s Oast. And that shot is the gravy and bourbon shot, dusted with brown sugar and rosemary.

Served hot, because WHY THE HECK NOT. You can’t have cold gravy mixed with alcohol. You’re not an animal.

Hot Bourbon & Gravy… Read the full story