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A celebrity having surgery doesn’t give you permission to make fun of their appearance

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Simon Cowell's face
It would no longer be acceptable to call a celebrity ugly, fat, or disgusting – but it seems that the moment they get any sort of surgery they become fair game (Picture: Picture: MediaPunch/REX)

We’ve (mostly) moved on from red rings of shame around cellulite and side-by-side photos of how much weight a celebrity has gained.

Our culture is learning that actually, being cruel about someone’s body isn’t okay. Fat-shaming is part of our everyday vocabulary, and anyone who is rude about the size of someone’s thighs will be rightly called out.

But there’s a part of body-shaming that some of the most body positive people still deem acceptable: making fun of plastic surgery.

When images of Simon Cowell came out this week, Twitter was overwhelmed with people making cruel jabs at his appearance.

Simon’s face was compared to dolls melting in the sun, someone possessed by ghouls, and the new Cats trailer. People said his looks ‘gave them nightmares’ and joked about discussing them with their therapists.

Simon hasn’t confirmed whether he’s had surgery recently or commented on the change in his appearance, but that won’t stop people from dissecting his every feature. Already experts are suggesting he’s had facials using sheep placenta and has gone too hard on the Botox.

There’s a glee in how we’re picking him apart.

While we’ve come so far in embracing natural beauty and accepting ‘flaws’, we still think it’s okay to be incredibly cruel about someone’s face if they’ve had any cosmetic treatments. We still find it hilarious when someone takes their surgery ‘too far’ or it ‘goes wrong’.

And we’re obsessive about how celebs and other people choose to change their face. Just look at the comments on Katie Price’s latest facelift and the massive debate around Kylie Jenner’s lips, boobs, and bum.

It would no longer be acceptable to call a celebrity ugly, fat, or disgusting – but it seems that the moment they get any sort of surgery they become fair game.

It has to stop.

People – even the famous ones – get cosmetic surgery because they want to change the way that they look. There are loads of factors that might influence that decision – years-long insecurities, the pressure of having a massive following, our societal fear of any signs of ageing, an increase in the acceptance of surgeries, an influx of money – but ultimately people who get cosmetic surgery do so because they think there’s area for improvement.

Imagine, for a moment, that you get surgery to ‘fix’ something you’re insecure about, hoping that it’ll make you look better and feel happier and less self-conscious as a result. Now imagine the second it’s done, everyone is talking about that one feature you wanted to hide. And they’re not being complimentary.

It doesn’t really make sense, because people who get fillers and nose jobs aren’t selling us a lie – they’re exposing the reality that if you have money and are willing to get your nose chiseled away you can increase your physical attractiveness.

Is it any wonder that people take surgery ‘too far’? Is it really a surprise that they become ‘addicted’ to procedures and ‘ruin’ their faces?

If a surgery’s results are made fun of, the answer seems obvious: okay, I’ll just get more surgery to fix it. That goes wrong and it’s harder to fix. The sudden attention on your face makes you feel more aware of other flaws, so you’ll get surgery to fix that, too.

Soon enough your face is like a house springing leaks, you’re jumping to sort out one bit when another one causes issues, weakening the structure each time you have at it with a hammer. Everyone’s asking why you don’t just stop and saying how much better you looked before, but there’s no way to go back. You can either stay at this unhappy point or keep hoping that the next surgery, or the next, or the one after that, will make it better.

That’s an awful, all-consuming headspace to be in. We all have insecurities and low moments, and while we can’t assume that anyone who has cosmetic surgery is deeply uncomfortable in their own skin, we can know that there’s some part of them keen to just be different, that they aren’t entirely content with being just the way they are.

That’s when people need compassion, not judgement or laughter. We’ve been through years of bodyshaming being considered normal, but that’s changed – and our culture is better for it. Now, in the embracing of ‘natural beauty’ people with cosmetic surgery have become easy targets for scorn, as though they’ve let us down or lied because their attractiveness isn’t ‘real’.

It doesn’t really make sense, because people who get fillers and nose jobs aren’t selling us a lie – they’re exposing the reality that if you have money and are willing to get your nose chiseled away you can increase your physical attractiveness.

Surely that knowledge is better for our self-esteem than seeing countless models who were born with perfectly sculpted cheekbones and realising that we can never achieve such beauty? Surely we can appreciate someone acknowledging their insecurities rather than declaring that they’re comfortable with every bit?

We can all relate to feeling a bit sh*t about the way we are ‘naturally’ and wishing we could change. But when we see someone reacting to those feelings, along with all the societal pressures to look a certain way, by getting surgery, we lash out and shame them for doing so.

It’s not fair and we can’t keep accepting it. No, not even in the case of mega rich celebrities, because while they may have loads of money and fame they do also have access to the internet and can see the mass of nasty comments flung their way.

Let’s all just be a bit kinder, a bit more understanding, and when we look at someone’s inflated lips or pinned back skin cast your mind back to the last time you felt like crying in front of a mirror. Remember that they’ve had that moment too, and maybe your hilarious joke just doesn’t need to be said.

MORE: How Simon Cowell achieved his changing face – from 21st century facelift to vegan diet

MORE: My Label and Me: Call me plastic all you want, I’m more than how I look

MORE: Love Island’s Megan Barton Hanson got death threats over cosmetic surgery: ‘I was called fake and plastic’


Mum praised for sharing photo that sums up the reality of parenting

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Rachel, known as the Strong Mama, with daughter Bella and son Lucas
Rachel, known as The Strong Mama, with daughter Bella and son Lucas (Picture: The Strong Mama/ CATERS NEWS)

We know full well that parenting isn’t all Pinterest-perfect moments, but it’s still reassuring to know you’re not alone in the struggle.

People are thanking one mum for sharing an honest photo that sums up the reality of being a parent, showing her crying after dealing with her toddler’s tantrum.

Mum of two Rachel Giampietro, 28, said she was motivated to share the candid moment because she often found herself comparing her life to people online.

Home alone for the first time since giving birth to her daughter Bella three days before, the mum was feeling overwhelmed in the face of looking after a newborn baby while also caring for her then-toddler, Lucas.

After having a huge ‘toddler tantrum’, Lucas had fallen asleep by his mum’s side, along with a snoozy Bella.

Rachel took a photo of that moment of quiet exhaustion.

A year on she shared the image on Facebook, The Strong Mama, writing: ‘I just realised I never shared this photo of my first day alone with the two kids at home, a few days after Bella was born.

Rachel having a little cry while her baby daughter Bella was sleeping and son Lucas who was sleeping after throwing a tantrum, This raw picture went viral
Rachel shared a photo of herself crying as her kids slept (Picture: The Strong Mama/ CATERS NEWS)

‘If you look closely you will see the tears running down my cheeks. A little dramatic I know, but this is postpartum reality for most mums.

‘Both kids were asleep, but Lucas had just thrown the most epic tantrum whilst I just sat and cried, not physically or mentally able to assist him or deal with it and feeling so guilty, sore and tired.

‘These are the moments of motherhood that suck, and that no one really shares. But they are the moments that build us and give us strength and resistance.

‘Your hard times become your biggest teachers, and if you can make it through the first few days, weeks, months and years of motherhood I believe you can make it through anything.

‘By far, becoming a mum, two times now, is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but loving them with every cell in my body is the easiest.

Rachel Giampietro, 28, from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, with her husband Nick, 33, and their children Lucas, 4, and Bella , 11 months
Rachel and husband Nick with their children (Picture: The Strong Mama/ CATERS NEWS)

‘Here’s to the reality of motherhood, no one shares it enough, we’re all struggling in our own ways, some of just hide it better than others.’

Parents have related to the image hard, and thanked Rachel for being honest about the reality of being a new mum.

The photo ended up being shared thousands of times.

‘I just felt overwhelmed and filled with guilt that there is more I should be doing,’ said Rachel. ‘My hormones were also through the roof.

‘No one talks about how hard it is. I just thought, oh you’ve had one baby before, you’ll be fine.

‘But the reality is that it’s difficult. And I was really feeling those emotions, and just cried.

‘And I thought, how many mothers are out there right now feeling what I’m feeling?

‘We all just want to relate to others and feel okay with ourselves. And I think positing a raw and real photo like this really helped other parents feel a bit more normal.

‘Motherhood isn’t rainbows and smiles all the time.

‘All we see on social media these days are the perfect photos of parenthood.

‘The cute photos of the kids, the amazing school lunches and all the fit mums getting their bodies back.

‘I always looked at these types of pictures after having my first, and it just made me feel bad about myself.

‘But the reality is, lots of us are in our pyjamas laying on the couch, crying. We’re all winging it and trying our best.

‘I’m really glad I took the photo and shared it. I’ve gotten so many amazing messages from mums all over the world who said they can totally relate to what I was feeling.

‘It’s amazing to think I’ve been able to touch their lives, even in such a small way. Motherhood is amazing and we’re all in it together.’

MORE: Mum learns the hard way not to share food with kids after licking her daughter’s ice cream

MORE: Parents are puzzled by this very odd baby routine from the 1950s

What to do during the August Bank Holiday

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People standing and sitting at Pitch in Stratford
There’s lots to do (Picture: Pitch)

Summer is almost over, but London is going out with a bang.

The August Bank Holiday always offers a fantastic line-up of events, including festivals, family-friendly fun and parties galore.

We’ve put together a list of six of the best activities to take part in next weekend.

From enjoying Caribbean culture to outdoor cinema, there’s something for everyone.

Celebrate Caribbean culture at Notting Hill Carnival

Performers dancing on the street at Notting Hill Carnival in London
Colourful, creative and Caribbean (Picture: Getty)

The annual street festival returns on Sunday 25 August for two days of dancing, drinking and Caribbean food.

It’s a celebration of culture with performances from entertainers in glittering outfits and open-air BBQs where you can munch on jerk chicken and homemade fried dumplings, all while sipping a cold can of Red Stripe.

If you haven’t been before, a word of warning: it can get very crowded – both on the street and in the surrounding bars and pubs – so it’s worth deciding on a spot to meet up with friends, if you should get separated.

Parents with small children are also recommended to go along on the second day (26 August), which is considered the festival’s family-friendly day.

The festival is free, the jerk chicken is not.

Spend the weekend eating ice cream in Covent Garden

Five waffle ice cream cones filled with green ice cream, seen at various stages of melting
One scoop or two? (Picture: Getty)

The weather is due to heat up next weekend and what better way to cool down than to eat copious amounts of ice cream?

Covent Garden is hosting a five-day event, aptly named ‘Cool Down’, where you can munch on all the frozen treats your heart desires.

Start off with iced macarons at Ladurée, then swing by Avobar for a superfood soft-serve and finish off with a classic Italian gelato at Morelli’s or Venchi’s. Vegans should pop into Amorino and try a sorbetto, like the Marwardi Pistachio.

Finish your feast off with a frosé at Dirty Martini.

Sadly, nothing here is free – but savvy customers can scoop plenty of complimentary samples before deciding which flavour to get.

Spend a whole day watching movies in Morden

People sat in chairs outside watching a movie at Morden Park House
Don’t forget to bring a chair or blanket to sit on (Picture: Morden Park House)

Let’s face it, a lot of people will be hungover on Sunday morning.

We understand the urge to plant yourself on the sofa and spend the entirety of the day ordering carb-filled goodies from Deliveroo, but may we suggest an alternative plan?

Hop on the Northern Line and visit Morden Park House, where organisers have put together a 90s-themed pop-up cinema.

The event starts with the family-friendly Jumanji at 11am, followed by the cult movie Clueless at 1pm and an adaption of William Shakespeare’s tragic love story with Romeo+Juliet at 3pm. In the afternoon, watch a businessman fall in love with a charming prostitute as Pretty Woman comes on at 5.30pm, before finishing the day off with Pulp Fiction at 8pm.

The age ratings differ for each film, so look them up before taking the little ones or you might be turned away.

There’s no seating, but you’re welcome to bring camp chairs, blankets and cushions, as well as a picnic but no alcohol in glass bottles – though there is a licensed bar and classic cinema treats on sale.

Tickets cost £7.50 for kids and £10 for adults, and there is also a £30 family ticket that covers two adults and two kids.

Go back in time at Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens

A circus act performing while the crowd watches on in Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens
It’s family-friendly fun (Picture: Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens)

The gardens will be transformed on Saturday 24 August.

Organisers are turning back the clock and going back to Victorian times with a day filled with family-friendly activities.

Play vintage games or watch circus acts show off their skills, including tightrope and stilt walkers, as well as a ‘Victorian strongman’, who can ‘lift grown men above his head, bend solid metal with his bare hands, and smash a whole watermelon with his head’.

The Achro Chaps – three men with moustaches – will also put on a show with comedy and acrobatics on the schedule and music will be supplied by a three-piece jazz band.

And everything is completely free.

Have an all-day party with your mates in Stratford

People sat outside at Pitch in Stratford having drinks and chatting
Spend seven hours hanging out with your mates (Picture: Pitch)

How does seven hours of food, cocktails and games sound?

Grab your mates and head over to Pitch for ‘Day-cation’, an outdoor event where you can enjoy the sunshine on 26 August.

The fun starts at 3.30pm and there’s plenty to do besides drinking and eating. Challenge someone to a round of ping pong or spending a few hours playing Super Nintendo, Giant Jenga and Connect 4.

You’ll struggle to get the Monday blues here.

Tickets start from £5.

Take in a cabaret show in Bloomsbury

Carnival dancers [performing on stage at London Cabaret Club
An alternative version of Notting Hill Carnival (Picture: London Cabaret Club)
If you can’t make it to Notting Hill Carnival or the idea of being in a big crowd makes you feel anxious, this is a good alternative.

The London Cabaret Club is hosting a carnival-themed show on 23-24 August, described as a ‘tropical tour of immersive cabaret’ and will feature live performances from Brazilian carnival dancers.

In keeping with the theme, the venue is also offering special rum-based cocktails and a Caribbean food menu.

Guests must be over 18 and ticket prices start from £35.

MORE: Grab the kids and head to the Natural History Museum to celebrate ‘nature’s champions’ this month

MORE: Quiz: How well do you know classic cocktails?

MORE: Lotus Biscoff comes in nibble form now and we’re ready to guzzle them down

A farm is growing pricey ‘long-neck’ avocados and you’ll want them for your toast

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long-neck avocados are being grown by Miami Fruit
Look at the size of that lad. Absolute unit. (Picture: Miami Fruit)

Look, you’re either going to be really into these avocados or find them strangely unsettling. It’ll be one option or the other.

Whichever camp you fall into, you do have to acknowledge that these avocados are quite odd looking.

They’re called ‘long-neck’ avocados, or Pura Vida avocados, and have a strangely long section after the stone.

Miami Fruit, in Florida, grows the special avo breed, which can measure up to 3ft long.

Such big lads come at a high price – a single Pura Vida avocado can cost $47 (£39).

The farm sells the avocados in bulk depending on weight, starting at $47 (£39) for 3-6lb of fruit. How many avocados you get depends on how big they are, as they’re not uniform in size or weight. One avocado could weigh enough for that one box, meaning you’d be paying that amount for one big bit of guacamole.

A farm in Florida is growing 'long-neck' avocados that are up to 3 feet long
They’re 18 inches long on average, but can be up to 3ft (Picture: miamifruit)

The biggest box contains 35-45lb of avo for $197 (£162).

Yep, the people who said millennials can’t afford homes because they spaff all their money on avo toast might have been thinking of these fruits in particular.

Beyond their size, the long-neck avocados are much like any other avocado you’ll pick up from the nearest farmer’s market. They’ve got that lovely green exterior, they’ll likely have an extremely brief window of ideal ripeness, and the farm says the flesh is ‘thick, creamy, savoury, and slightly sweet’. Sounds good to us.

We imagine that the ‘neck’ bit is extremely satisfying to scoop out, too. They can grow straight for easy slicing potential, or curly, which makes them look slightly witchy.

Miami Fruit in Florida is growing 'long-neck' avocados that are up to 3 feet long
Imagine scooping this (Picture: miamifruit)

Each avocado is around 18 inches on average, but they have been known to grow up to 3ft long.

The avocados aren’t a new phenomenon – Miami Fruit has been growing them for years – but everyone’s paying attention thanks to a proliferation of long-neck avo pics on Instagram.

We can understand why – the avocados look pretty impressive held up next to your head or arm for perspective.

Unfortunately if you’re craving enough avocado to fill a baguette (just one long-neck one, we think, for a generous spread), you’re out of luck. The Pura Vida avocados are only grown in southern Florida, so you’re unlikely to find one in your nearest Sainsbury’s.

The good news is you can just stock up on lots of regular, large, or teeny-tiny avocados right here in the UK. Go wild.

MORE: Sainsbury’s launches pre-smashed avocado for your toast

MORE: What to do during the August Bank Holiday

MORE: Mum praised for sharing photo that sums up the reality of parenting

Sweet pair of cats have been looking for a home for two years

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posh and kiki pair of cats who have been rejected for two years
Posh and Kiki are inseparable (Picture: RSPCA)

Sweet cats Posh and Kiki have been waiting for the perfect home for two years – but they’ve been rejected over and over again.

Posh is a 10-year-old long-haired grey and white cat who loves attention and loves nothing more than lying in her warm bed and watching the world go by. Same, Posh.

Her best pal is Kiki, a male 12-year-old black and white cat who’s super laidback and independent. Kiki’s favourite things are lounging in bed and curling up on a warm lap for a cuddle.

The best friends came into RSPCA care because their elderly owner was no longer able to care for them. They’re completely inseparable, and so need to be homed together, but haven’t been able to find a new owner for the last two years – far longer than the average 45 days it takes for older cats in RSPCA shelters to be rehomed.

posh the cat
This is Posh. Isn’t she lovely? (Picture: RSPCA)

We’re hoping that by sharing their story, these sweet cats will find their perfect owner.

The pair would be best suited to a quiet home with owners who’d be around for a good part of the day, as they’re super affectionate and like a slow-paced life. They’d also like a few cosy spots where they can lounge.

They’re currently at the RSPCA Kidderminster and District branch in Worcestershire, where they have been waiting for a long time.

kiki the cat
And here’s sweet boy Kiki (Picture: RSPCA)

Janis Borley, RSPCA branch chair, said: ‘These two are both very friendly cats so we are really puzzled why it has taken so long to find them a

‘All they need is a second chance at happiness but sadly they have been overlooked for a long time, having been cared for by the branch now for almost two years.

‘On average it takes cats over seven years old 45 days to find a home but poor Posh and Kiki have been waiting so much longer than that.’

If you’ve fallen in love with Posh and Kiki and think you could give them the loving home they deserve, get in touch through the RSPCA branch website or email janis.rspca@btinternet.com.

MORE: International Cat Day: Does CBD oil have any benefits for cats?

MORE: RSPCA is looking for people to cuddle cats and rabbits

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Why were Kellogg’s Corn Flakes invented and was it to stop masturbation?

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a bowl of cornflakes
Ever wondered the origin of the humble corn flake? You’re in for a treat… or not (Picture: Melcon/Los Angeles Times via Getty Images)

Have you ever found yourself musing over the origins of your favourite breakfast cereal, the humble corn flake?

No? Well, we’re here to tell you anyway.

The reason behind the original – and now much-loved recipe – was to act as an ‘anti-masturbatory’ morning meal. We break down why.

Why were corn flakes invented?

The popular cereal was first made back in 1894 by John Harvey Kellogg.

It was originally created as a healthy food for the patients of the sanitarium in which he worked, and its inception was functional: it was supposed to be healthy and deliberately bland.

It seems odd that someone make a deliberately tasteless food, but it was all part of an extreme diet – promoted by his church – aimed at suppressing passion.

John Harvey Kellogg talking to George Bernard Shaw
John Harvey Kellogg believed a simple and flavour-less diet could curb desires (Picture: Archive Photos/Getty Images)

He was a Seventh-day Adventist, a branch of Christianity which advocated a strict vegetarian diet devoid of alcohol, caffeine or meat.

In addition, Kellogg was a fervent believer of abstinence and believed sex and masturbation were unhealthy and abnormal.

In his book, Plain Facts for Old and Young: Embracing the Natural History and Hygiene of Organic Life he described what he saw as the negative effects of masturbation.

He cited mood swings, bad posture, acne, boldness, stiff joints, palpitations as well as a taste for spicy food to be the side affects of the ‘double abominable’ crime.

Woman looking at an aisle of corn flakes
Corn flakes fast became a breakfast staple (Picture: Andreas Rentz/Getty Images)

To fight off any potential desire, he worked on ways people could curb sexual impulses including creating corn flakes, as well as a contraption which ran water through the bowel before following it with yogurt, delivered between the mouth and anus.

Luckily, only the corn flakes caught on.

His original recipe contained no sugar, so would have no doubt been less palatable than today’s version.

The more you know…

MORE: Kellogg’s worker jailed for peeing on cereal conveyor belt

MORE: Kellogg’s launches beer made from leftover Corn Flakes to reduce food waste

Will eating tomatoes make your penis bigger?

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An aubergine and two tomatoes placed in the shape of a penis and testicles on an orange background
Tomatoes are great, but not for penis enlargement (Picture: Getty)

We have shared a lot of penis facts as of late.

Like when we told you that you shouldn’t eat sexy pavement lichen to treat erectile dysfunction or explained why masturbating with pineapple juice is a bad idea.

Today we’re delving into a new area of penile exploration: sizing.

There are a lot of theories on the internet of foods that, if ingested regularly, will help add a few inches to a dick, including one particular vegetable that seems to pop up time and time again: the tomato.

Just a few months ago, a man posted on Quora to ask others whether the red juicy produce could work as a ‘home remedy’ for penis enlargement.

Firstly, note that we appreciate all dicks and there is nothing wrong with not having a monster aubergine in your trousers. But, to avoid queues at tomato aisles at supermarkets everywhere, we found out the facts.

Will eating tomatoes make your penis bigger?

Unfortunately, there is no research to support that spending your days eating tomato-based dishes will change the size of your penis.

However, that’s not to say there aren’t benefits.

Red fruits and vegetables, such as tomatoes, watermelons and strawberries, contain lycopene, an antioxidant that can have beneficial effects on your body, including your penis health.

Men who eat tomatoes – or meals that contain this vegetable – 10 times per week are 18% less likely to develop prostate cancer, due to the lycopene warding off toxins that could cause cell damage, according to a study in the journal Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers and Prevention.

Additionally, another piece of research revealed that the antioxidant can potentially prevent tumuors from growing for people who have prostate or breast cancer.

What’s more, eating tomatoes could be helpful for men who suffer from infertility.

Consuming high quantities of the vegetable can improve the shape of a man’s sperm (or morphology) according to one study. Out of the participants, those who had eaten the most tomatoes had swimmers that were between 8-10% more ‘normal’.

It’s also said that the antioxidant can help improve blood flow and as a result, give men stronger erections.

‘Lycopene “is one of, if not the most powerful of nature’s antioxidants,’ Dr. Paul Turek, a fertility urologist, told Health.com.

‘It’s thought that oxidants underlie much of male infertility and prostate cancer, and we know that antioxidants are good for blood vessels in both in the heart and the penis. But their exact mechanisms of action aren’t well defined.’

To conclude, eating tomatoes is great for a lot of things – but not for penis growth.

If you do have a penis that falls on the smaller end and you want to know what your options are, it is always best to speak to your GP or other medical professional.

Don’t try home remedies or fall for myths that may or may not work – you’re less likely to get disappointed if you have the correct information from the get-go.

Just imagine eating nothing but tomatoes day in and day out, only to be told months later that it was never going to make a difference.

MORE: Men gently requested to avoid licking sexy pavement lichen to treat erectile dysfunction

MORE: What is a pineapple penis and do you have it?

MORE: What happens to your penis as you age?

How to explore Jamaica off the beaten track

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With reggae booming into the air from roadside speakers, the pale blue ocean on my left and the never-ending cluster of green mountains on my right, this is like no usual drive from an airport.

It was my first few minutes driving through Kingston, and the city was showing off.

The country famous for its sun, sea and sand was living up to its reputation. It was enough to make me forget while I was here… almost. My aim was to delve beyond the postcard perfection.

Jamaica’s motto is Out Of Many, One People, but its lesser-known one, ‘we are more than a beach, we’re a country’, is what peaked my interest.

‘Look out the window,’ laughed my driver Phil, when I asked him where the ‘real Jamaica’ started. ‘The real Jamaica is ever-present, if you choose to see it.’

I immediately began to see it. The same natural beauty that had greeted me not only surrounds the sprawling mansions peppering the breezy hillside of the city’s most affluent residences, but also cloaks the corrugated iron shacks of the impoverished shanty towns on the city’s scorching flat.

Dominique Hines in Jamaica with a guide
Jamaica has more to offer than beaches and rum (Picture: Dominique Hines)

I noticed the weary street vendors with their colourful fruits, including deep burgundy coloured local apples, called Otaheite (addictively delicious, I would soon discover only too well) are normally left in smoke by cars whizzing to the nearby fancy mall to buy foreign produce.

We would be leaving no smoke on this trip.

With my ‘scandal bag’ (local name for colourful plastic bags) of precious Otaheites, I was off to Spanish Court hotel.

The hotel, in the very central business district, New Kingston – is a short 25-minutes from the Norman Manley Airport.

Once I arrived, I had a quick shower then headed down to dinner.

seafront restaurant and bar in Jamaica
Visit local bars for delicious food and cocktails (Picture: Dominique Hines)

Their restaurant serves tasty Jamaican meals, such as stewed oxtail and rice & peas – a scrumptious local staple, which is cooked in coconut milk with red kidney beans (which Jamaicans call peas). After tucking into their curry goat a rice & peas, it was off to bed.

Often visitors head straight to the more touristy coastal resorts of Montego Bay, Ocho Rios or Negril, but I was going to stick around and explore for a bit – starting at the top.

Clouded in mists that give them their bluish colour, I was off to the Blue Mountains, which stretches from the north-eastern edge of the city for a length of 28 miles.

As I made my ascent, the hustle and bustle of the main roads were soon replaced with lush greenery. We were soon driving through the Irish Town section – one of the first settlements for the Irish who arrived in Jamaica in the mid-1600s.

lush green space in jamaica
Explore lush green spaces (Picture: Dominique Hines)

The drive up winding and precipitous roads can be heart-stopping, but the breath-taking views make the journey worth it, and once you reach Craighton Estate, a coffee plantation, any unease disappears.

The Blue Mountains are home to some of the world’s finest coffee. The famous and prized red berries of the Arabica coffee bean were introduced to Jamaica in 1728. The estate offers an hour-long tour around the working farm where you’re taught about the history of coffee production in Jamaica.

After the walk, which be warned, is an uphill one, I rested my unfit body on the veranda that surrounds the historic great house. I sipped on the famous Blue Mountain brew and ate freshly baked rum cake while taking in the panoramic views.

After this paradise, we descended the hill to head straight into the inner-city community of Trench Town. A starker contrast there is not.

Once considered a no-go area due to crime, Trench Town is now a peaceful community, which attracts the type of visitor interested in a ‘no-frills’ exploration of the country. While the area remains largely dilapidated, its pride and glory is the Trench Town Culture Yard.

Trench town in jamaica
Once considered a no-go area, Trench Town is now a peaceful community (Picture: Dominique Hines)

A former 1930s housing project, it is now a brightly coloured makeshift museum with memorabilia from the early years of Jamaican music, with a focus on the music legend, Bob Marley.

It feels surreal to be standing on the same ground that the late One Love icon spent much of his early music career treading. There’s even one of Bob’s first vehicles rusting in the drive.

Once Bob became famous he left the area and bought a large home on the more affluent, Hope Road, which is roughly a 20-minute drive from Trench Town and now The Bob Marley Museum and also a must visit.

After my fill of Marley history, I headed around the corner for some pre-colonial exploration at Devon House.

Devon House in Jamaica
Devon House was the grand 19th century home of the first black millionaire in the Caribbean (Picture: Dominique Hines)

The grand 19th century home of George Stiebel, the first black millionaire in the Caribbean, would not look out of place in a period drama, such as Downton Abbey. The mansion is a masterpiece of Caribbean Victorian architecture. I had a vivacious guide who took me through the hauntingly stunning home.

On the vast acreage, there’s also a variety of shops selling local crafts and restaurants offering a wide selection of Jamaican and international food, however, it’s the Devon House ice cream that is the biggest draw here. Voted National Geographic’s fourth best ice cream in the world, the 27 exotic flavours available include Jamaican rum & raisin, soursop (a creamy local fruit) and there is even a beer-based ice cream called Devon Stout. I had the pistachio ice cream, the best I’ve ever had.

Also popular with the locals is Triple T’z restaurant, a rustic and colourful spot where Red Stripe beer bottles hang as chandeliers. With an extensive menu of tasty cheap and cheerful local dishes, I had lunch there the following day and fell in love with the range of exotic fruit juices on offer, including my new favourite thing – oatahiti apple, this time squeezed into a delicious bubblegum-pink beverage.

plantain chips in jamaica
Make sure to feast (Picture: Dominique Hines)

After an eventful few days in Kingston, which also included eating jerk chicken and fish cooked in steel drums on the roadside under the street lights and drinking local Red Stripe beer in Down Town’s regenerated Kingston Harbour, my time had come to an end.

I headed to the north coast destination of Ocho Rios. Roughly one and a half hours’ drive from Kingston, there are now two routes – one a new highway that that gets you swiftly within an hour, the other ‘the scenic route’ a near two-hour journey. We took the latter. It’s a stunning experience, which takes you past lush fields, waterfalls and jade green rivers.

One of the highlights is Fern Gully – a tranquil road through of shady tunnels formed by around 300 varieties of towering green ferns.

Head to Fern Gully to get back in touch with nature
Head to Fern Gully to get back in touch with nature (Picture: Dominique Hines)

Ocho Rios is a former fishing village that’s now a resort with a cruise ship harbour and a busy beach lined with hotels. But tucked discreetly away is Jamaica Inn. Since 1950, it has been ranked among the top hotels in the Caribbean.

Nestled on one of Jamaica’s most beautiful private beaches, the cottages are full of history and offer breath-taking views. Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller had their honeymoon here, and I was fortunate enough to stay in their suite. The balcony wrapped around my huge villa while my bathroom had shutters that opened up into the ocean. There are no televisions, but you can watch the sunset sink into the ocean instead.

My first morning in Ochi (as the locals call the region) I headed to Yaaman Adventure Park located a few minutes from the hotel. My adventure started with an open-air carriage ride where yet another charismatic guide (Jamaica has them in spades) taught me about the agricultural resources on the plantation. I also saw the tree planted by Winston Churchill when he visited the property in the 1950s.

balcony in jamaica at sunset
The balcony provided incredible sunset views (Picture: Dominique Hines)

Nearby, set in the hills, was Island Gully Falls – a cove with crystal waterfalls where I watched adventurous visitors swinging from ropes into cold natural pools.

With not one adventurous bone in my body, I managed to paddle my way across the rocks with fresh forceful water massaging my back. This place is said to be far more beautiful and less packed that the more famous Dunns River Falls nearby.

I dined at my hotel that night entertained by a local reggae band and then spent the evening taking in the moonlight in my suite.

The next day I would be off to Port Antonio – a chilled resort town with perfect beaches and not a high-rise hotel in sight a two-hour drive from Ochi.

beachfront in jamaica
There’s more to Jamaica than beaches… but they’re a good place to start (Picture: Dominique Hines)

Tom Cruise filmed his iconic 80s film Cocktail here, and recently, the beautiful destination hosted Daniel Craig filming the upcoming Bond movie. But bizarrely, the place is largely overlooked by visitors.

I took a 45-minute boat tour around its beautiful Pellew Island, swung over the bottomless blue-green waters and swam through the mineral spring of the Blue Lagoon.

Before heading back to my hotel in Ochi for my last night in Jamaica, I stopped at Frenchman’s Cove Resort, Port Antonio’s exclusive 45-acre beach estate.

The ocean was so crystal clear, I could see my feet at some of the deepest points. I was stunned by the fact that the waters temperature went from cool to warm and matt to crystal when you moved from side to side.

That summed up my time in this country – one of magical contrasts.

How to get there:

A standard king room (based on two sharing) at Spanish Court Hotel, Kingston starts from £160 per night, including breakfast. A balcony suite (based on two sharing) at Jamaica Inn, Ocho Rios starts from £275 per night British Airways (ba.com) fly from London Gatwick to Kingston from £562 return. For more information go to visitjamaica.com.

MORE: How to do Barbados’ Crop Over festival like a proper Bajan

MORE: Rihanna has officially moved to London and we need to find the ‘cute little Jamaican market’ she loves


Ticks, mosquitos and wasps: When should you seek medical attention for an insect bite?

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A picture of bites
Bites can heal on their own, but they could get more dangerous (Picture: Getty)

The hot weather and the open windows it necessitates means many of us have become easy targets for insects to bite.

Mosquito bites, spider bites, tick bites, you name it – our bodies are dealing with the suckers.

But while all bites and stings are annoying, you don’t always need to go to the doctor at the first sign of an itchy bump.

When should you seek medical attention for a bite?

Tck bites can be pretty worrying because the bites can turn into Lyme disease – a bacterial infection that can be spread by humans by infected ticks. But this is easier to treat if it’s diagnosed early.

Tick bites are not always painful, and you might not even notice you have one unless you actually saw a tick on your skin.

Most of the time, the bites heal on their own without treatment, but sometimes they can cause Lyme.

The symptoms of Lyme disease are distinctive. This includes developing a circular red skin rash around the bite.

You may also experience a high temperature, headaches, muscle and joint pain, tiredness and fatigue.

A Lyme rash
A lyme disease bite (Picture: Getty)

If you do have a tick bite, don’t panic too much as you can only catch Lyme if the tick has bitten an infected animal.

But if you do experience any odd symptoms, it is important to go to your doctor.

In fact, it’s important to seek medical attention with any strange symptoms you get after an insect bite.

Most insect bites and stings aren’t serious and will get better on their own, but occasionally they can become infected or cause a severe allergic reaction.

Bugs that bite or sting include wasps, hornets, bees, horseflies, ticks, mosquitoes, fleas, bedbugs, spiders and midges.

According to the NHS, insect bites will usually cause a red, swollen lump to develop on the skin, which may be painful and in some vases very itchy.

The symptoms will normally improve within a few hours or days, although sometimes they can last a little longer.

A bee sting
A close up of a bee sting (Picture: Getty)

If you’ve been bitten or stung, it’s important to clean the area with soap and water, apply a cold compress, elevate the affected area, avoid scratching the bite and take painkillers, creams for itching and antihistamines.

Often you won’t need to do all of these things as symptoms will quickly ease on their own.

But if your symptoms worsen, you should seek medical attention.

You should contact your GP or call the NHS 111 for advice if your symptoms don’t improve within a few days or are getting worse, if you’ve been stung or bitten in your mouth, throat or near your eyes, and if a large area around the bite has become red and swollen.

If you have any symptoms of a wound infection, including pus, swelling, redness or increasing pain, you need to get checked out – especially if you have symptoms of a more widespread infection, including a high temperature and swollen glands, or other flu-like symptoms.

So, when should you get emergency help, aka head down to your local A&E?

You should head down to A&E if you start wheezing or have difficulty breathing or if you have a swollen face, mouth of throat.

You also need to be checked out if you’re vomiting, dizzy and have a fast heart rate, or if you have difficult swallowing or a loss of consciousness.

As mentioned, most bites clear up on their own and aren’t anything to worry about – but in these instances it’s very important you seek medical attention as soon as you can.

Unfortunately, in this heat, lots of us are prone to being bitten.

But there are a few ways to prevent it happening.

This includes remaining calm if you encounter wasps, covering exposed skin, wearing shoes outdoors and applying insect repellent on the skin – as well as not using products with strong perfumes as these can attract insects.

If you do get a bite, don’t worry about it – but as mentioned, if your symptoms start getting worse or you become worried about a bite, get checked out ASAP.

MORE: Lyme disease: What does a tick bite look like?

MORE: Woman shares photo of tick bites to raise awareness of the early signs of Lyme disease

Could Pumpkin Spice Spam become the next hot autumn trend?

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A Pumpkin Spice Spam can on an orange background with pumpkin illustrations
Yum? (Picture: Spam)

For many people, the annual arrival of the pumpkin spice latte signifies the start of autumn.

Earlier this week, a manager at Starbucks, the brand credited with making the drink such a success, revealed that the popular drink might even arrive before summer is over.

Rumour has it the latte will be available from 27 August, but no official launch date has been announced yet.

Many brands have tried to jump on the pumpkin spice bandwagon, including Lush with its Sparkly Pumpkin bath bomb, but so far no products have managed to take the crown from the Starbucks PSL, as fans call it.

However, just a few days ago a new product was announced and it’s possible that this one could steal the spotlight.

Please welcome Pumpkin Spice Spam – the latest contender for hottest autumn trend of 2019.

The idea for the product started as a joke in 2017, when Spam posted a photo of a pumpkin spice-flavoured can on its Facebook page, and we guess someone must’ve thought it was a good idea.

Just like its predecessor (which is loved and loathed in equal measure) the new Spam flavour has seen mixed reactions from people.

Some are horrified, while others are delighted.

If you’re jumping up and down with joy over the possibility of getting a new pumpkin spice product to obsess about, we have bad news.

Unfortunately the product is currently only available in the US, where it will launch on 23 September.

That’s not to say that the brand won’t decide to bring it to the UK eventually, but until then you’ll just have to settle for a pumpkin spice latte – and there will plenty of those to go around, come autumn.

On the other hand, if the idea of pumpkin spice Spam, lattes and bath bombs make you want to scream into your pillow, you might want to stay inside until next spring.

MORE: A farm is growing pricey ‘long-neck’ avocados and you’ll want them for your toast

MORE: Quiz: How well do you know classic cocktails?

MORE: Lotus Biscoff comes in nibble form now and we’re ready to guzzle them down

Why we need to stop judging women who wear makeup to the gym

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A woman wearing makeup lifting dumbbells in the gym
‘I’ve seen people in the gym, mainly other woman, giving me looks or eyeing up my lipstick.’ (Picture: Getty)

It’s not uncommon to see women in the gym rocking a full face of makeup.

The correct response to seeing this is sheer awe at their ability to do a full set of burpees without dislodging their fake lashes – but sadly, lots of women just face judgement, mean comments and disapproving looks.

But why is it that we’re so quick to judge women who workout wearing makeup? Does it suggest that they’re not working out hard enough? Maybe it’s a concern for the health of their skin?

Or maybe society just loves judging women and telling them that whatever they’re doing is wrong.

There are a number of reasons why someone might choose to workout with their slap on. Practicality is one of them.

We are all time-poor, and if we’re running to the gym after work there probably isn’t time to diligently remove our mascara before jumping on the treadmill. And micellar water is too heavy to carry around all day.

The second reason is the pressure. Gyms are no longer safe spaces for us to sweat in peace. We’re now expected to be decked out in perfect, Sweaty Betty kit, a glisten of sweat on our brows to show we’ve been working hard, but not enough to ruin our #GymLife selfie.

The pressure is so great that 40% of women actually avoid being physically active altogether because of a fear of judgement from others. So it’s no wonder so many of us want to cover up our dark circles and highlight our cheekbones before going for a run.

The catch-22 is that while women might stick on some foundation to avoid judgement, they will likely face more judgement for wearing makeup in the gym too. Being a woman is relentless.

Woman cleaning her face with a cotton pad.
‘Life’s too short to worry about whether the woman lifting weights has a bit of mascara on.’ (Picture: Getty)

When England footballer Alex Greenwood wore false lashes at this summer’s Women’s World Cup she faced a barrage of nasty, snide comments online. The reality for female athletes is that people often care more about how they look than their sporting abilities.

Megan, a communications officer, wears makeup when she works out because she always has to rush off to the office straight after.

‘I’ve seen people in the gym, mainly other woman without makeup on, giving me looks or eyeing up my lipstick,’ she tells us.

‘I like to think it’s because they think I look nice, but there’s definitely a chance it’s more judgmental.

‘I think people assume women wear make up at the gym to look more attractive or to impress others. When it’s very often not the case.

‘In my situation, it’s a practical thing, but for others it could be to do with boosting their self confidence – which is understandable as the gym can be intimidating if you’re new to it.

‘To be honest, if people want to wear make up just because, who cares? Life’s too short to worry about whether the woman lifting weights has a bit of mascara on.’

Live and let live, says Megan. And stop judging women for every damn thing they do.

But some people do have legitimate concerns about wearing makeup in the gym. Will it actually damage your skin or cause you to breakout in spots?

‘Makeup paired with sweat is a bad combination, it can be damaging to your pores and cause you mass breakouts,’ explains Patricia Boland, skin specialist at Colorescience UK.

‘When we are active, our blood circulation increases which alters oil in the body and causes us to sweat.

‘It can cause breakouts, of course not every single time you wear it, but it is not worth the risk if you have acne prone skin. Eye makeup, even though less damaging, does have the potential of running down into eyes onto the under the eye area which is sensitive.

A young woman with wet hair removing smudged mascara
You do have to be careful about wearing heavy makeup if you’re going to be sweating. (Picture: Getty)

‘The damaging effects on the skin come down to your routine and the products you use.

‘The heat and humidity which is attached to sweating can trigger acne, also when you sweat a lot, you reach to wipe that away with your hand or a towel, the friction on the skin can trigger “acne mechania” which increases breakouts.’

None of this sounds great. Particularly if you don’t feel confident going barefaced. But Patricia does have some tips to keep your skin healthy if wearing makeup in the gym is a must.

‘If you wish to wear mascara, opt for waterproof eyeliner and mascara as it won’t sweat off. You should also choose an oil free, non-comedogenic light foundation or tinted moisturiser.

‘A brow gel is great at keeping brows groomed and nicely shaped – if the rest of your makeup is minimal then well filled-in brows will fill your frame and complete your look.

‘If you need a hint of colour on your lips then try a tinted lip balm, moisturises your lips whilst looking colourful.’

There are ways around it – you just have to be organised and make sure you have the right products in your gym bag.

How to look after your skin when you workout

Cleanse your skin before your workout with a light makeup remover or Micellar Water and a cotton pad (makeup wipes often end up just moving dirt around the skin instead of actually removing it).

Apply a hydrating antioxidant serum after cleansing the skin to make sure you stay hydrated and protected.

Apply an SPF if you’re working out outside.

Cleanse the skin immediately after your workout to make sure sweat and bacteria sit on the skin – ‘providing you removed makeup effectively prior to the workout, then a gentle gel/water-based cleanser should be more than enough.’

Andy Millward, expert facialist

Of course there are other concerns about wearing makeup that are more specific to the kind of sport your doing. If you’re swimming in the wild for example, wearing makeup might be more damaging for the environment than it is for your skin.

Suzanna Cruickshank is an outdoor swim guide based in the Lake District. She reminds people that wearing makeup in wild water can have significant consequences.

‘We swim in beautiful water and want to protect it as best we can,’ says Suzanna.

‘The eco-systems are affected by excess phosphates so it makes sense not to get in a lake caked in makeup, hair products or perfume.

‘If we all did it, eventually you would see a change in the quality of the water.’

One netballer said that wearing a bit of makeup for a big game helps her to feel confident going up against the opposition. But makeup clearly doesn’t work for all team sports, as Jessica explained:

‘I’m a rugby player and I know if I wear make up it will leave an imprint on someone’s bum or leg!’

Loads of women we spoke to said that they never wear makeup when they workout.

Some said they felt no need to, that working out made them feel empowered enough. Others said they would just sweat it off so even if they wanted to it would be pointless. And that’s great too.

But essentially, if you use the right products and you’re diligent with your cleansing afterwards, wearing light makeup at the gym or during fitness isn’t a problem.

What is a problem is the need to look down on women who choose to wear makeup when they workout.

There is a school of thought that the very concept of makeup is anti-feminist and a symptom of patriarchal oppression – but makeup can be empowering and freeing, and a woman’s right to choose is what feminism is all about.

Surely anything that makes someone feel confident enough to get moving and be healthy should be embraced?

‘I don’t wear makeup for fitness and I also don’t feel we should judge those who do,’ says Jo Moseley, paddleboard enthusiast.

‘If it’s part of building up your confidence and gives you the courage to go to a new fitness class or gym, then it’s wrong to criticise.

I once got very uppity about an advert which showed a woman putting on her lipstick before a workout. And then I thought – who am I to be Miss Judgey?

‘Maybe that’s the difference between her going to the gym or staying at home and feeling that she didn’t dare. You do you – as they say.’

I am Team GB

Toyota has teamed up with Team GB to re-launch the hugely successful participation campaign ‘I am Team GB’.

Inspired by the achievements of Team GB athletes and the amazing efforts of local community heroes, Team GB has created ‘The Nation’s Biggest Sports Day’, which will take place on the 24thAugust.

Over the weekend, there will be hundreds of free and fun activities across the country, put on by an army of volunteers; the ‘I am Team GB Games Makers’.

To Join the Team and be part of The Nation’s Biggest Sports Day sign up at: www.IAmTeamGB.com

Try these yoga poses for better sex

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illustration of woman in calm yoga pose
These moves will help you limber up. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

In the movies, sex is all about spontaneous trysts in the shower, death-defying throws onto a sofa, acrobatic lifts against a wall.

It looks steamy, sensual and amazing – but if we tried that in real life we would almost certainly put our backs out.

If you really want to liven things up in the bedroom, you’ve got to be pretty fit. And yoga can help.

This simple, at home flow – created by the experts at For The Closet – is designed to loosen you up so you’re ready for even the most athletic of positions.

If you have the time, take a few minutes to move through these simple poses before you have sex – it could help you get into the moment and really connect with your partner.

The bridge pose

Illustration of bridge yoga pose
Keep your hips as high as possible. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

The bridge pose thrusts your hips into the air, and is brilliant to combine with doing your kegel exercises.

The cat-cow

Illustration of cat-cow yoga pose
Keep your head high as you move your spine. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

The cat-cow pose lengthens the spine, and helps to widen the pelvis, which is thought to boost orgasms.

Downward facing dog

Illustration of woman doing a downward dog yoga pose
Tilt your pelvis so your hips are high and keep your shoulders down. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

The classic pose stretches your entire body, especially your thighs and spine.

Cobblers pose

Illustration of woman doing yoga
Breathe into this stretch. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

The cobblers pose stretches your groin and also helps open your pelvis.

Upward dog

Illustration of an upward dog yoga pose
Tilt your head to the sky to lengthen your neck. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

The upward dog increases blood and energy pose, as well as stretching your bum and and core.

Reclining big toe pose

Illustration of woman doing yoga
You want you back to stay flat against the floor during this move. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

This pose flexes and relaxes your kegel muscles as well as stretching out your hips, groin and hamstrings.

The plank pose

Illustration of woman doing a plank pose
You want to make a straight line from your head to your ankles. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

The plank pose tones your abdomen and core, and lengthens your spine.

The Pigeon pose

Illustration of pigeon yoga pose
This stretch feels so good for tight hips. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

The pigeon pose opens your hips and helps to release any tensions held in your lower body.

Legs up wall pose

Illustration of woman doing yoga
A super soothing pose to calm your mind. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Legs up to the wall pose increases blood flow to your pelvic area, and allows for deep breathing and relaxation.

Happy baby pose

Illustration of a woman doing yoga
Probably the most joyful pose you can do in yoga. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

This pose opens up the hips and pelvic area, as well as reliving tension in your upper thighs.

As well as warming you up for the main event, working through this routine will also help you to clear your head of any distractions or worries that could pull you out of the moment.

Any physical activity is going to be better after a thorough warm up – and sex is no different.

I am Team GB

Toyota has teamed up with Team GB to re-launch the hugely successful participation campaign ‘I am Team GB’.

Inspired by the achievements of Team GB athletes and the amazing efforts of local community heroes, Team GB has created ‘The Nation’s Biggest Sports Day’, which will take place on the 24thAugust.

Over the weekend, there will be hundreds of free and fun activities across the country, put on by an army of volunteers; the ‘I am Team GB Games Makers’.

To Join the Team and be part of The Nation’s Biggest Sports Day sign up at: www.IAmTeamGB.com

Meet the Games Makers: ‘Sport filled a hole that was missing in my life’

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Smiling female runners running in sunny park
The community events will take place on the 24th August. (Picture: Getty)

Games Makers are the incredible volunteers that will help to facilitate the nation’s biggest annual sports day this summer.

Led by Team GB – the national fitness event will take place on the 24th August and will feature a wide range of free and fun activities to get people of all ages and abilities active.

But it wouldn’t happen without the help of the Games Makers – dedicated fitness enthusiasts who will be sacrificing their time to make the day as brilliant and inclusive as possible.

We spoke to some of these inspirational volunteers to find out why they’re so passionate about making their communities more active.

Craig Mason has represented his country in taekwondo three times. He can’t wait to share his passion for sport with the wider community.

Craig Mason in his taekwondo outfit
‘Sport is about being celebrated when you win and being supported when you don’t.’ (Picture: Craig Mason)

What is it that you love about sport?

I love that sport, quite simply, makes you feel better- physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I took up my sport relatively late at 39 years old, but I’m able to teach, train and compete at a national level. It’s filled a hole that was missing in my life.

I took my then five-year-old son to join a local taekwondo class, and after a couple of weeks at watching I thought, “I fancy a go myself”, the rest is history.

I went through my colour belts to black belt, student to teacher (although I’m still learning), and now I’m looking forward to being a Games Maker.

Why are community events like this so important? 

They encourage everyone to try new sports, to get involved, to get moving and active. My taekwondo clubs are a family drawn from our local community, and it’s fantastic for events like this to bring more people in, whatever their background.

It brings people together, gives them a focus, and the opportunity to be better.

People meet others in their community they might not otherwise have encountered. Taekwondo in particular gives students self-confidence, self-control and the ability to interact with others in a positive way.

Why do you think more people need to be active? 

Activity improves fitness, tackles obesity, and promotes a healthy lifestyle. Everyone knows that, but it’s also about better mental health, self-confidence, improved self-worth, respect for yourself and others.

Sport can do that.

It’s about being celebrated when you win and being supported when you don’t. It’s about being better than you were yesterday.

What has been your biggest sporting achievement? 

That’s a tough question. I have represented my country three times in the TAGB Taekwondo World Championships, all of which were very proud moments for me.

However I’m most proud of helping my taekwondo students grow and flourish.

Seeing students who are able bodied, or disabled, confident or shy, bloom and reach their potential is incredibly satisfying. 

Taekwondo means the way of the hand and foot, and it’s about mental and physical training.

I love that it’s an equaliser, everyone starts at their own individual level and progresses at their own pace. It truly is a sport for anyone and everyone. All ages, physical abilities and backgrounds.

It requires a commitment, but if you’re prepared to put the effort in, there’s no sport more rewarding. I also love that it’s a sport that can last throughout your lifetime. You’ll never be too old to practice taekwondo.

I am Team GB

Toyota has teamed up with Team GB to re-launch the hugely successful participation campaign ‘I am Team GB’.

Inspired by the achievements of Team GB athletes and the amazing efforts of local community heroes, Team GB has created ‘The Nation’s Biggest Sports Day’, which will take place on the 24thAugust.

Over the weekend, there will be hundreds of free and fun activities across the country, put on by an army of volunteers; the ‘I am Team GB Games Makers’.

To Join the Team and be part of The Nation’s Biggest Sports Day sign up at: www.IAmTeamGB.com

My insomnia is a desperately lonely experience

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Image of a bedroom with an illustration of a person in a blue t-shirt and purple trousers sitting on top of the bed with their back turned to the reader
Insomnia feels like the cruelest torment (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Until I was 17, I thought everyone struggled through sleepless nights.

I really believed that the trauma of desperately trying and failing to fall asleep, night after night, was just part of being human. I only realised that insomnia wasn’t normal during my first holiday with school friends, when they emerged after 12 hours sleep to my single hour of dozing.

I’ve always been a ‘bad sleeper’, even as a child. There’s no easy explanation, but it’s most likely connected to my ADHD, which was only diagnosed in my mid-20s. My brain responds chemically in the opposite way to what you’d expect.

Insomnia feels like the cruelest torment, depriving you of the precious hours meant for emotional and physical recuperation. In the worst periods, I dreaded spending time in bed, knowing that the experience would be more emotionally traumatic than whatever I’d dealt with during the day. Without a single moment to recover, the stress just got more intense.

Sleeplessness is also a desperately lonely condition. At night I feel like I inhabit an entirely different universe, compared to the ‘real world’ where normal people lie fast asleep. Meanwhile, I am wide awake and alone, not allowed to join them.

Insomnia creates its own routines; after two hours of trying to sleep I stop checking the clock but still have an innate sense of how much time is passing. After four hours, I miserably accept that sleep isn’t going to happen easily and I try something new: lying on the sofa or swapping out my pillows.

A change of scenery sometimes helps, but most of the time I’m still awake as the sun comes up. The experience is so physically and emotionally draining that I finally let myself cry it out, dampening my bed sheets.

For years I was a slave to my insomnia during the daytime too. I stopped driving due to dangerous dizziness and blurry vision, and I was so irritable and hypersensitive that walking around busy, noisy places was torturous.

I planned exercise at the right time so that I’d be worn out but not full of endorphins, and ate dinner early enough to get at least two hours of ‘wind-down’ time before going to bed. Nothing helped.

Illustration of two people lying in a bed together
Chronic insomnia needs to be treated, by doctors, employers, governments, as a serious chronic illness (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

The symptoms of insomnia can be invisible, especially for chronic sufferers like myself who become almost too good at ‘just getting on with it’.

It took me years to admit to friends that the reason I was cancelling on them was because I hadn’t slept a wink for two nights. I’ve still never explicitly told an employer about the impact of sleep deprivation on my work and routines either, nor have I taken sick days due to my insomnia.

There’s something very private about sleep which makes it hard to have open conversations about insomnia. I find myself downplaying my experience in casual conversation. Maybe it’s because everyone I know is also exhausted, sleep-deprived and stressed-out in some way.

Roughly a third of adults in the UK get by on around five hours of sleep, despite the NHS recommendation of getting seven to nine hours per night, and the importance of sleep and the consequences of not getting enough of it is now being highlighted.

Medical professionals need to thoroughly explore treatment options and refer insomniacs to sleep clinics or specialists, instead of putting the responsibility on the patient.

Chronic insomnia needs to be treated – by doctors, employers and governments – as a serious chronic illness. In general, this means being sensitive to the lived experience of insomniacs, and taking time to understand what we go through so that policies and practical arrangements can be adapted to our needs.

Doctors have explained to me, sympathetically but firmly, that they couldn’t prescribe sleeping pills for chronic insomnia, since the highly addictive pills are only suitable for short-term problems, often related to stress or bereavement.

Instead they printed out the NHS pages on ‘sleep hygiene’ and told me to stop lying awake in bed – to give up, get up and ‘read something boring’ until I felt sleepy. Only then was I allowed to get back into bed.

It was a disaster: previously I’d been relatively calm just resting in bed throughout the night, but now I had to follow rules and so became increasingly obsessed, distressed and anxious about whether I was doing it right.

Medical professionals need to thoroughly explore treatment options and refer insomniacs to sleep clinics or specialists, instead of putting the responsibility on the patient.

New research suggests that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be very effective for people with insomnia and have long-lasting effects, but my hope is that this is just the start of research into a variety of different treatment options.

Insomnia arises from so many different causes, so it takes time and specialist expertise to work out how to best treat an individual’s situation.

There is medication out there that isn’t addictive, and I’m tremendously lucky and grateful that a psychiatrist refused to give up over the two years it took to find one that works for me.

Now, I sleep four hours most nights, and it has transformed by life in innumerable ways. My life no longer revolves around (a lack of) sleep, but it doesn’t mean I’m ‘cured’.

I still suffer through sleepless nights, but my insomnia occupies much less of my thoughts, and I can put more energy into making the best of my waking hours.

MORE: If you struggle to sleep well, you might be putting your mental health at risk

MORE: How to cope with insomnia when you have depression

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You Don’t Look Sick: ‘I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I fell down 51 steps in Vegas’

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Do you know someone with an invisible illness? You probably do but have no idea because they don’t look sick.

Each week, our series looks at a different person, with a different illness to show what it’s like to live with a condition that is usually hidden but still causes symptoms that are a big part of every day life.

Tom Ryan-Elliott, 28, from London, has epilepsy and aphasia.

Epilepsy is a condition that affects the brain and can cause frequent seizures, where bursts of electrical activity interrupt the way the brain works.

Aphasia affects speech and language and is caused by damage to the left side of the brain, where how we talk is controlled.

Tom Ryan-Elliot who has epilepsy
Tom Ryan-Elliott lives with epilepsy and aphasia (Picture: Jerry Syder for Metro.co.uk)

Tom was on holiday in the U.S. in 2014 when he was diagnosed, after a terrible accident that left him fighting for his life.

He explains: ‘I had been to San Francisco with a group of friends beforehand and had a brilliant time. We had done all the usual touristy things and visited Alcatraz.

‘We flew over to Las Vegas and I have no recollection of what happened.

‘I’ve seen pictures of me at a pool party when we first arrived in Las Vegas, so I know I was there.

‘Everyone gambles in Las Vegas, and apparently about 20 of us were out in a casino.

‘I was losing and got annoyed so walked out and back to my hotel. When walking out, I fell down 51 steps and cracked a large section of my skull.

‘The doctors were forced to remove that section to ensure the brain wasn’t damaged even more.

‘I spent a month in a Las Vegas hospital where they fought hard to keep me alive, only when I was stable enough could I fly back to England in a private air ambulance.’

Tom Ryan-Elliot in a pub with a pint of beer
Tom was diagnosed after he fell down 51 steps during a holiday in the U.S. (Picture: Tom Ryan-Elliott)

Ryan was moved to Charing Cross hospital, then Kingston hospital and eventually to St George’s brain injury rehab unit, where he spent 22 weeks learning to walk, talk and regain all the skills he had lost because of the brain injury.

He also had an operation to replace the large section of his skull that had been missing with a titanium plate.

Since then, Tom has dealt with frequent seizures, which range from focal seizures, where he can’t speak to tonic clonic seizures, where he falls to the floor and his whole body starts jerking.

Although most days Tom looks well to the outside world, he had to come to terms with the possibility of having a seizure in public at any moment.

He says: ‘I was in Wagamama’s and had my first public seizure. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and people around you can’t help but stare.

Tom Ryan-Elliot with a dog
Tom was once warned about a seizure by a dog he was with on the bus (Picture: Tom Ryan-Elliott)

‘It was a simple focal seizure so I couldn’t talk and it comes across as I could be drunk.

‘I can also have tonic clinic seizures so am lying down shaking all over. I think people around obviously look after me as I wake up in hospital but some people may panic or not want to get involved.

‘I also suffer from aphasia as well which is a word finding difficulty due to the brain injury. This can make daily tasks really hard when I know what I want to say but the words just can’t get out of my mouth. I sometimes feel like people must think I’m an idiot.’

Tom takes medication for his conditions, which helps to control them and allows him to get out and about as much as he can.

‘On a good day, I am usually out and about taking pictures around London but on a bad day, a seizure can change everything,’ he says.

Tom with the Transport for London priority seating advertisement he featured in
Tom was featured in a Transport for London campaign about using priority seating (Picture: Tom Ryan-Elliott)

‘I was looking after a Cocker Spaniel and it seemed to know I was going to have it before I did. It jumped up and started barking to almost warn people it was going to happen.

‘A few minutes after that, I had a tonic-clonic seizure in Shoreditch on a double-decker bus and everyone else was kicked off the bus (busy time at about 6pm) by the ambulance team.’

Tom admits that this can make him feel isolated, especially as he has been unable to work full-time since his diagnosis and he struggles to meet new people because of his speech difficulty.

He says: ‘My aphasia really affects my speech to others. I’ve just started to use the Meetup app to try and go out to meet other photographers more, which is good fun.

‘I have felt quite isolated at times as it’s hard to make new friends with a speech difficulty.

‘Everyday I’m just alone, not many people would think of saying this but I actually want to get back to work.

What should you do if someone has a seizure?

  1. Stay calm.
  2. Look around – is the person in a dangerous place? If not, don’t move them. Move objects like furniture away from them.
  3. Note the time the seizure starts.
  4. Stay with them. If they don’t collapse but seem blank or confused, gently guide them away from any danger. Speak quietly and calmly.
  5. Cushion their head with something soft if they have collapsed to the ground.
  6. Don’t hold them down.
  7. Don’t put anything in their mouth.
  8. Check the time again. If a seizure doesn’t stop after 5 minutes, call for an ambulance (dial 999).
  9. After the seizure has stoppedgently put them into the recovery position and check that their breathing is returning to normal. Gently check their mouth to see that nothing is blocking their airway such as food or false teeth. If their breathing sounds difficult after the seizure has stopped, call for an ambulance.
  10. Stay with them until they are fully recovered.

Epilepsy Society

‘I really want to be doing something rather than just focusing on these illnesses and medications. I want to be out meeting people and making new friends so I don’t feel isolated.’

As his condition is hidden, he sometimes gets told not to use things that help, like priority seating on public transport.

He says: ‘I don’t look disabled and it’s only when speaking for a long time that there may be some slight problems with my speech for them to notice that I have aphasia.

‘It’s on the trains and tubes that older people essentially force me to move, they think because I’m young, they should have those seats.

Tom Ryan-Elliott sat inside on a sofa
Tom enjoys photography and volunteers at museums (Picture: Jerry Syder for Metro.co.uk)

‘I’ve got myself a bracelet to say both my epilepsy and aphasia to show them if they tell me to move.

‘I use public transport daily in London to get around and I usually only use the priority seats
when I feel I am unwell prior to a seizure.

‘I have been asked to give up my seat but because I am unable to explain quickly and don’t want to explain my condition to a total stranger I will give up my seat if I can stand and hope that the seizure is then only a small focal seizure where I don’t lose consciousness and fall and hurt myself.’

Tom is currently studying photography as well as volunteering at the RNIB and London Transport Museum and hopes to do more to get out and meet people.

He is also working with the Epilepsy Society to raise awareness of what people should do if they see someone having a seizure in public.

They are running a campaign to remember the three C’s – calm, cushion and call.

If you see someone having a seizure, you should stay calm and take control of the situation; cushion their head with something soft and call an ambulance if it lasts longer than five minutes.

How to get involved with You Don't Look Sick

You Don’t Look Sick is Metro.co.uk’s weekly series that discusses invisible illness and disabilities.

If you have an invisible illness or disability and fancy taking part, please email youdontlooksick@metro.co.uk.

You’ll need to be happy to share pictures that show how your condition affects you, and have some time to have some pictures taken.

MORE: You Don’t Look Sick: ‘My arm hurts so much I considered having it amputated’

MORE: You Don’t Look Sick: ‘Living with an invisible illness destroyed my confidence’

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MORE: You Don’t Look Sick: ‘I was born with half a heart but it won’t hold me back’


Husband and wife have been eating small slices of their wedding cake for 50 years

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David and Anne Cowburn eat a crumb from what's left of their wedding cake from their wedding on July 18th, 1970
David and Anne Cowburn eat a crumb from what’s left of their wedding cake from their wedding on July 18, 1970 (Picture: Stephen Yang)

In case you weren’t aware, it’s a long-honoured tradition for married couples to freeze the top tier of their wedding cake and eat it on their first anniversary.

Honouring the ritual, which is said to bring you good luck, are husband and wife David and Anne Cowburn.

Instead of storing it just for their first year, the couple from Pennsylvania, U.S, decided to keep it for the next 49.

They’ve been biting into slices of the cake every year since their wedding on July 18th, 1970 but it’s been more crumbs than slices as of late.

The vanilla-flavoured dessert which has been frozen for half a century has survived five house moves and precedes David and Anne’s three children and four grandchildren.

The Cowburn children are amused by their parents’ commitment to thawing out little bits on every anniversary.

David and Anne Cowburn's cake cutting at their wedding.
Each year on their anniversary the Cowburns take a portion of their wedding cake, which is now the size of a pea, and feed it to each other (Picture: Stephen Yang)

‘It’s just a fun, romantic thing that we do,’ Anne, who is 74 years old told the New York Post.

‘It was a very special cake and there was so much of it.’

The wedding staple had white-frosting flowers and silver-leaf accents, the top tier of which was saved by Anne’s mum.

The cake, measuring four-by-five inches, was given to the newlyweds when they returned from their honeymoon to England.

Anne added: ‘Our first anniversary, we ate quite a lot.’

 David and Anne Cowburn prepare what's left of their wedding cake from their wedding on July 18th, 1970.
All that’s left (Picture: Stephen Yang)

Their idea to preserve it longer than a year came from a TV show I’ve Got A Secret. On one episode a couple’s secret had been that they were going to tuck into their 25-year-old wedding cake.

‘That episode must have embedded into my memory,’ said David.

One-upping the couple from the show, David and Anne went a further 25 years.

On their golden anniversary, instead of eating the very last crumbs left of the cake, the couple plan to sprinkle it onto a new one.

We wonder whether they’ll freeze that one too (but probably not).

David and Anne Cowburn eat a crumb from what's left of their wedding cake from their wedding on July 18th, 1970.
Cuties (Picture: Stephen Yang)

And to those wondering, freezing the food for that long is relatively harmless provided that it’s kept in the right conditions.

Also, desserts baked at the time were heavy in alcohol and sweets (fruit-flavoured) which are natural preservatives.

If you’re thinking about it, you should wrap it up in cling film and tin foil and leave in an air-tight container.

Assess before thawing it out to eat.

Or of course, you could just buy a new cake. Think of all the new flavours and mixes that might’ve come out in the past year.

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Widowed bride and her mates drink beer in their wedding dresses in Friends-inspired photoshoot 

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A widow and her friends drank beer in their wedding dresses for an uplifting 'Friends'-inspired photoshoot
Widow Katie called on her friends to show up in their wedding dresses so she could reminisce her big day (Picture: Miranda Helmuth Photography)

Katie Swantek and her late husband Brett were kayaking when he devastatingly got caught in an undertow current and he was swept away by the crushing water.

His body was found ten days later, still wearing his wedding ring.

Some months after the fatal accident which happened in May, Katie came across her old wedding dress which she had kept in storage.

‘I ripped it open as fast as I could, put it on. I somehow got it to zip, I wasn’t expecting that,’ the mum-of-one explained.

‘And honestly, I sat there and cried for the rest of the day. I watched our wedding videos and reminisced on what it was like the last time I wore it.’

At that moment, inspiration struck as Katie remembered an episode of Friends, The One With All The Wedding Dresses, where the leading ladies get into white gowns and drink beer.

In the same way, Katie who had been married to Brett for four years, decided to call upon her friends and ask them to get into their dresses too and drink beer with her.

In the company of good friends, Katie reminisced about her special day and remembered Brett who she felt watched over them.

Katie and Brett on their wedding day in 2015 (Picture: Miranda Helmuth Photography)
Katie and Brett on their wedding day in 2015 (Picture: Miranda Helmuth Photography)

‘That’s exactly what I was doing at the time, sitting on my living room couch, drinking beer, thinking how pathetic I was,’ she said.

‘So I messaged my wedding photographer and said “I have a crazy idea, what do you think about it?” She said right away, “Absolutely, let’s do it. Let’s see if we can get some friends to do it with you”.’

Miranda Helmuth took the uplifting photos in Katie’s stunning backyard.

She said: ‘It was the most gorgeous night. We felt like Brett painted the perfect sky for us for pictures.’

Katie and her friends sat on the grass in their wedding dress chatting and drinking
The pals swapped their weddings stories during the shoot (Picture: Miranda Helmuth Photography)

Rallying the troop, Katie set up a group called Brides and Beers. Seven friends turned up in their wedding dresses.

All dresses had been unwashed since their wedding day, except one, and bore the stains (and memories) from their respective big days.

Each former bride shared the stories of the day while laughing and drinking.

Eight friends in their old wedding dresses
Good friends, good beer (Picture: Miranda Helmuth Photography)

‘It was never about being sad for a night. It was about getting together and having a good time and getting our minds off of the reason that it even came about,’ added Katie.

‘We laughed until we cried. We were laughing so hard our ribs hurt the next day.’

After her husband's death, a woman and her friends drank beer in their wedding dresses for an uplifting 'Friends'-inspired photoshoot (Picture: Miranda Helmuth Photography)
Katie said she felt like Brett had watched over the uplifting photoshoot (Picture: Miranda Helmuth Photography)

One of the pals got Katie’s son to watch the shoot too. When he saw his mum, he said ‘Mummy so pretty’.

The sweet moment reminded Katie of Brett.

MORE: Widow does maternity photoshoot alone and edits in husband to show he’ll always be with them

MORE: Widow travels the world with a cardboard cutout of her late husband

MORE: Widow moved to tears as granddaughter surprises her by wearing her 55-year-old wedding dress

Tiffany & Co to launch new jewellery collection aimed at men

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Tiffany & Co collection for men
Tiffany & Co is launching new collection for men (Picture: AP)

Most women will recognise the iconic little blue boxes associated with Tiffany & Co, but now the luxurious jewellery brand is launching a new collection specifically aimed at men.

This October, the brand will launch its first collection for men, in an attempt to boost sales.

Cufflinks, rings and other traditional jewellery aimed at male customers are already available to buy from Tiffany & Co, but the new line is set to be more comprehensive.

It will include almost 100 designs, all ranging in price from about $200 to $15,000 (£164 to £12,300).

The brand hopes the move will help diversify its traditional customer base and attract a younger audience.

‘Tiffany Men’s was created in the spirit of the modern man: bold and confident, casual yet refined, a style arbiter with a discerning eye for quality,’ the company said.

It will also start to sell accessories such as cocktail shakers, ice tongs and beer mugs – all with men in mind.

The new products will be available in Tiffany’s 300 stores worldwide and, according to Reed Krakoff, the company’s chief artistic director, they will get their own floor space (rather than being sold next to other items).

‘Men all over the world are wearing jewellery and more accessories as part of a wardrobe,’ Krakoff said.

‘You started to see it on the runways, in social media.’

tiffany & co to launch new collection for men
The promotional pictures have attracted criticism (Picture: AP/nesteruk@gmail.com)

Despite only being announced on Thursday, the promotional pictures for the collection have already received criticism, as products in the new line are pictured alongside items such as wrenches, a baseball mitt and a compass.

One user said: ‘Wow, you know, I’d never really thought of buying jewellery for myself, but now that you drape it over a vintage baseball glove it seems so obvious.’

Tiffany & Co has been contacted for comment and we will update the article accordingly.

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MORE: Nando’s drops limited edition clothes and merch so you can get spicy

Photoseries follows group of 33 women before and after they become mums

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33 Women Photographed Before And After Becoming A Mom Becoming a parent is arguably the biggest responsibility one can bestow upon themselves. The least we can do in return is thank the folks that brought us up. Enter Lithuanian photographer Vaida Razmislavi??. To express her gratitude for everything they've done, Vaida has dedicated an entire series just for moms. "Becoming A Mother" is a project that aims to show how giving birth changes a woman. Vaida photographed 33 women, before and after they delivered their firstborn, and really focused on their eyes. "For this project, I chose a very simple format, as if I was taking passport photos," she wrote. "I wanted to highlight my models' gaze, taking away everything that would interfere with it (i.e. the belly)." "Motherhood is a deep experience, filled with joy, pain, exhaustion, and love," she said. "When a woman becomes a mom, she really feels her inner energy; her intuition becomes stronger, and her wisdom reaches new heights." Vaida has gone through these changes herself. "Before my firstborn, my idea of motherhood was very different," she told Bored Panda. "To be honest, I didn't feel the motherhood instinct when I first took him into my arms. I've learned everything along the way, including ignoring old know-it-all's and growing the courage to trust my own decisions." I came up with the idea for this project when meeting people who thought of a newborn as some sort of obstacle to the parents," the photographer said. "I wanted to show that it's possible to continue living in harmony even after having a baby." Vaida knew this from her own experience as she managed to get a Master's degree while raising two kids. Vaida said it was really interesting seeing all of the little details that changed in just a few months. "In a way, with this project, I ended up healing myself. Looking directly into these women's eyes, I relived giving birth to my first son. All of the traumas and fears that I locked somewhere inside myself came back, only to vanish in the process. I realized the journey I've been on as a mother. The fruits that I'm reaping today now that my boys are almost all grown up."
Becoming a mother shows 33 women after they had their first child (Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)

Becoming a parent is a huge moment for anyone.

But one photographer wanted to show that although becoming a mum is a big deal – you are still the same person in many ways.

Lithuanian photographer Vaida Razmislavičė worked with 33 women before and after they gave birth to their first child.

She took simple passport style pictures to highlight just their gaze.

She was inspired by her own experiences as she says she didn’t have the ‘motherhood instinct’ when her first child was born.

She told Bored Panda: ‘I’ve learned everything along the way, including ignoring old know-it-all’s and growing the courage to trust my own decisions.’

Vaida wanted to show that life can go on even after having a child – the photographer managed to study for a Master’s degree while raising her two children.

She says: ‘I came up with the idea for this project when meeting people who thought of a newborn as some sort of obstacle to the parents.

‘I wanted to show that it’s possible to continue living in harmony even after having a baby.’

The women she photographed gave birth to 36 children, including three pairs of twins. There were 20 boys and 16 girls and some have already celebrated their first birthday.

Vaida said that working with the woman helped her ‘heal’ herself and her feelings around the birth of her first son.

‘Looking directly into these women’s eyes, I relived giving birth to my first son. All of the traumas and fears that I locked somewhere inside myself came back, only to vanish in the process,’ she said.

Let’s take a look at all the women in the series:

becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
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(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
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(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
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(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)
becoming a mother photoseries
(Picture: Vaida Razmislavičė)

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Teen, 16, who fell for 58-year-old man insists their 42-year age gap doesn’t matter

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Urszula the teenager with her partenr Nigel who is 42 years older than her
Urszula, 19, met her partner Nigel, 61, when she was 16 (Picture: MDWfeatures / Urszula Grzelak)

When Polish teenager Urszula Grzelak came to stay with her aunt in the U.K, the then-16-year-old didn’t expect to fall in love.

Urszula met her aunt’s pal Nigel Thorpe, 58, at her welcome party in Oxford.

The now-19-year-old from Warsaw, Poland, moved in with Nigel, now 61, with her aunt who had been having problems at home.

While her aunt was at work, Urszula spent a lot of time with Nigel, visiting tourist attractions and getting to know him.

She quickly fell in love and told him about her feelings.

On the day she was due to fly back home, Nigel went to the airport to confess that he felt the same.

Since then the pair maintained a long-distance relationship before Urszula eventually moved into the UK to live with him.

Though her parents are now on board, the couple still gets harsh comments from strangers about their 42-year-age gap.

Selfie of Nigel and Urszula in public
Nigel and Urszula have been together for three years (Picture: MDWfeatures / Urszula Grzelak)

Urszula has been branded a ‘gold digger’ and Nigel a ‘sugar daddy’ but they have learnt to ignore the comments as they are just two people in love.

‘I felt very enthusiastic and full of positive energy when I realised I was falling in love with him,’ explained the teen.

‘Feelings towards him were giving me energy to live and do. I became quite obsessed with him.

‘I could stare at him while he was talking, watch him endlessly doing something. I even remember when I secretly slipped into his room where he had his wardrobe just to try on his clothes and feel his smell.

‘At that time, he was absolute perfection for me, and he is still now.

‘Music played an important role in our lives before we even met.’

When Urszula’s parents found out about the relationship, they weren’t happy and even took away her internet access.

Eventually, they warmed to him and Nigel even visited Poland and met the parents.

Last March, when Urszula finished high school, she made the move to live in the UK with her older partner.

She will then go back to Poland in the summer to start university.

Urszula’s own parents have a 17-year age gap and growing up with an older parent has put her off having children of her own.

Nigel also doesn’t want or have any kids. The couple insists that their relationship is the same as any other and the only strangers have a problem with it.

‘The only real difficulties that have arisen due to our relationship are people’s opinions and actions,’ added Urszula.

‘They describe our relationship as controversial and sick. They will make nasty comments, stare at us or point fingers in our direction.

‘Our solution is to totally ignore those negative behaviours and focus on each other. It will never solve anything when we try to argue with people and convince them.’

The youngster added that ultimately, it’s about the people involved.

‘Only you, yourself know who you love, how you feel and what is best for you.

‘To anyone who is in an age gap relationship. Focus on happiness with your partner and don’t you ever think that you are doing something wrong or morally inappropriate.

‘Never forget to say and show how much you love your partner.’

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