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Are there any legal loopholes for getting rid of debt?

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Read any article on getting out of debt, and the general gist will either be ‘work hard and spend as little as possible’ or ‘use our handy trick and write everything off’.

The latter of these options seems far too good to be true.

And the former seems, well… hard.

When you consider the possibility that you might not be debt-free for a number of years, the slog and penny-pinching stretching out in front you are bleak.

That’s why some people either choose to bury their heads in the sand or seek out these mystical debt-killers who will get your balance down from thousands of pounds to a few quid a month.

Although they promise to write off debt, though, there’s a nagging feeling that surely you can’t just have the money you borrowed written off.

Companies are notorious for showing the terms and conditions in tiny fonts or saying them in one breath at the end of an ad. But if they say there are loopholes, could they lie?

The answer to that is no, but with a whole bunch of caveats.

These so-called ‘loopholes’ that can help you write off debt only come into play in certain cases – generally when you can’t afford to pay lenders back, or when credit was mis-sold or there were other discrepancies.

IVAs

The majority of the companies who claim to be able to get rid of debt are actually advertising an IVA (Individual Voluntary Agreement) service.

An IVA is a legal agreement with your creditors that means you’re protected from further action against you, and there are set guidelines of an affordable amount for you to pay back, with some of the debt written off.

Most debts can be included in an IVA, but some – like mortgages, hire purchase products, and student loans – will not be included.

All of your creditors have to agree to an IVA, which tends to be why companies or charities are brought in. They can negotiate with your creditors to ensure a favourable outcome (although they can’t force your creditors to agree to enter into an IVA).

You’ll usually pay over 60 or 72 months, and get a certificate at the end to show your outstanding balance is paid.

When your agreement is being worked out, it will be determined what is an affordable amount for you to repay each month, with your living costs taken into account. If your creditors accept this, they will freeze interests on your repayments, and write off any outstanding debt over and above this amount.

Some IVA companies will claim they can rid you of up to 90% of your debt. This is usually a fairly outlandish claim, but it is possible. In general, you’re more likely to see up to 60% of your debt written off.

Seems like a dream, right?

There are downsides to an IVA. Firstly, they are designed for people with larger debts (usually around £15,000 or more), so you can’t just ask to write off the £200 balance on your credit card.

It’s no miracle fix, and does mean that you will have to stick to a strict budget for around five years to pay back a portion of what you owe.

On top of that, your credit rating will be negatively affected. This mark on your credit report will stay for six years after you commence the IVA – so typically up until a year after you’ve finished paying.

That’s not say that IVAs aren’t a lifeline for a number of people. It’s just worth putting into perspective that it isn’t a magic wand to have debts written off, and instead is designed for people in financial hardship whose debts are unmanageable.

DROs

A Debt Relief Order (DRO) can write off debt for people who have a small disposable income, few assets and relatively low level of debt.

It’s available to those who owe less than £20,000 in unsecured debt and don’t own a home, and costs £90, which is paid towards the Insolvency Service.

It means that you won’t have to pay back anything for 12 months, and lenders aren’t allowed to contact you. If your situation is still the same in terms of affordability to repay once the 12 months is up, your debt will be written off.

You will have to prove your income and expenditure and have under £50 a month left after your living costs and under £1,000 in assets.

Like an IVA, this will also impact your credit score for six years, so isn’t a decision to be taken without due care, despite the benefits.

Bankruptcy

Bankruptcy is technically a way to rid yourself of debt, but is not an option that is suitable for a number of people.

It tends to be for people who are in very serious amounts of debt who have no other way to change their situation, and for people when the value of their unsecured debts is higher than the value of the things of value that they own (sounds complicated because it is).

It does mean that pretty much all of your debts are written of but, again, it is not so much as a legal loophole, rather an agreement you enter into that has consequences that allow for this write-off.

Unlike in an IVA, where you pay back a portion of your debt in a way affordable to you and are able to keep assets like a house, if you become bankrupt your house, car, and other assets may need to be sold.

Once you’re made bankrupt, this will have serious, long-term effects on your financial record. It will stay on your file for six years, and can affect everything from your ability to get a current account to whether you can get a mortgage later in life.

It is a complex process (and one which you will have to pay fees for). It is not something to be taken lightly as any sort of loophole, but can be a fresh start for those who see no light at the end of their debt tunnel.

Where to go if you're in debt

None of the options spoken about in this article are a one-size-fits-all solution, and debt advice should be sought before deciding on any of them.

You can call the National Debtline on 0808 808 4000.

Alternatively StepChange and Citizens Advice Bureau provide free, impartial debt advice.

These are the best places to go for fair advice, rather than taking advice from a company who may try to sell you debt relief options that aren’t in your best interest.

Complaining through the Financial Ombudsman Service

This method is still not a loophole, and still not a way to technically ‘get rid’ of debt.

However, it is a way to have recourse if you feel that your lender acted irresponsibility in your dealings with them, and if you feel that the amount you repaid was unfair or incorrect.

You normally need to start off by complaining to the company you borrowed from, and you should get advice from the likes of National Debtline (details above), particularly if you’re still making repayments.

Services like Resolver provide guidelines on how to make a complaint and who is eligible. Then, the company will take a look and decide whether you’re entitled to compensation or some other solution.

If the company says you don’t have a claim or makes an offer you don’t feel is acceptable, you can then take your case to the Financial Ombudsman Service, who will see whether the lender acted appropriately and make a decision from there.

Again, this isn’t a form of debt forgiveness, and not all borrowing will be considered in terms of complaints. It is a way to hold borrowers to account if you aren’t being treated fairly, though.

Regardless of whether you’re right for any form of debt forgiveness, it will still take work, budgeting, and potential consequences to become debt-free.

There is no such thing as a free lunch and no such thing as free borrowing.

What there is, though, is a number of charities and advisory services who understand that you’re human, and want to help you get out of debt for good.

Debt Month

This article is part of a month-long focus in November all about debt.

Scary word, we know, but we're hoping if we tackle this head on we'll be able to reduce the shame around money struggles and help everyone improve their understanding of their finances.

Throughout November we'll be publishing first-person accounts of debt, features, advice, and explainers. You can read everything from the month on the Debt Month tag.

If you have a story to share, a topic you want us to cover, or a question that needs answering, get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

 

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Shy and Kingmessiah top the list of the ‘worst’ baby names of 2019

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little girl smiling
Please don’t name your child Manson (Picture: Getty)

If you’re getting ready to bring new life into the world, you’re likely already thinking about names.

Perhaps you want to follow the latest trends and give your baby a plant-inspired name, or go for the most popular names right now, or choose something completely unique.

What you probably don’t want is a name that ends up ranked as one of the ‘worst’ in 2019.

So perhaps avoid the names on the list created by parents.com, which has ranked what they say are the worst baby names of the year.

Now, before you panic: If your child’s name is on this list, remember that this is just one expert parenting site’s opinion, and one that you are entirely free to ignore. Just because they don’t like a name doesn’t mean no one will.

And on the bright side, a name on this list isn’t likely to be chosen by loads of other parents, so if you have chosen one for your child they’ll at least avoid being in a classroom with four other kids with the same moniker.

The main lessons to be learned, however, if you want to avoid the scorn of other parents, are to avoid deliberately confusing spellings of traditional names, names of serial killers, and words that are used as slurs. Easy.

And yes, these are indeed names that have been given to babies this year. Seven parents called their children Pinches.

The 'worst' names of 2019:

For boys:

  • Kingmessiah
  • Yugo
  • Cub
  • Axis
  • Manson
  • Pinches
  • Xxayvier
  • Cletus
  • Danger
  • Stylez

For girls:

  • Shy
  • Mattel
  • Cyncere
  • Chardonnay
  • Khaleesi
  • Starlett
  • Blaykelee
  • Any
  • Vegas
  • Pansy

Along with skipping these names, it’s worth looking into any names that are banned in the country where you live.

In the UK there aren’t any official laws about banned names, but authorities will step in if you try to call your baby something offensive, such as a swear word.

Names that have previously been turned down in the UK include Martian, Monkey, Rogue, Akuma (which means devil), and Chow Tow (smelly head).

In France, meanwhile, names including Nutella and Prince William aren’t allowed, while in Australia you can’t call your child Ikea, LOL, Hitler, Spinach, Satan, General, or God. Probably best to avoid those wherever you live.

MORE: Adah and Austin predicted to be popular baby names in 2020

MORE: Mum makes daughter gingerbread playhouse for free by using only recycled materials

MORE: The UK’s ‘smartest’ baby names revealed

Mixed Up: ‘Being mixed-race is the loneliest group – no one can ever truly reflect our experiences’

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Hannah Karim is still figuring things out when it comes to her identity – and it has been quite a journey for her so far.

The communications manager says that being mixed-race has never been a big part of her life – that is until she read some of the articles in this series and decided she wanted to get to know that part of herself.

‘In the run up to this interview, I’ve done a lot of thinking about it. A lot more than I ever have, probably,’ Hannah tells us. She has a complicated relationship with her racial identity. One she is only just starting to really grapple with.

‘I fit into the group of people who don’t really think about it [race] on a day-to-day basis.’

Hannah’s mum is Scottish and my dad is from Sudan, but his parents were Egyptian and Turkish. So she describes herself as a ‘whole medley of everything.’ 

‘I’ve never really thought about it, and I found it interesting that when this opportunity came up, I felt a feeling of awkwardness. Not about doing the interview, but just thinking about it. 

Picture: Jerry Syder for Metro.co.uk. Mixed Up Natalie Morris
‘I feel like everything apart from the colour of my skin is “white”. Whatever that means’ (Picture: Jerry Syder for Metro.co.uk)

‘In the past when it’s come up, the fact that I am mixed-race, I’ve felt awkward about it. I’m so unaware of it generally that if someone says something in reference to the colour of my skin I become a bit coy about it, because I kind of forgot.

‘It’s like this otherness that you feel suddenly. A reminder like; by the way – you’re different.

‘I think it has just been this massive disconnect with me.’

Hannah says she doesn’t have strong connections to her dad’s side of the family, or her dad’s culture. She was born and raised in South East London and throughout her schooling she had almost all white peer groups.

‘I feel like everything apart from the colour of my skin is “white”. Whatever that means,’ says Hannah.

‘I don’t have strong connections to my dad’s side of the family, I don’t have strong connections to my dad’s culture.

‘I actually kind of forget that I’m brown,’ she says, but she’s laughing. Hannah knows she’s different from her white friends, it’s obvious that she is a minority. But she doesn’t always feel it, so when it comes up – it’s really jarring for her.

Hannah with her family
‘I feel like I’m not allowed to react strongly to racist remarks, and when everyone around me is silent, I feel that even more’ (Picture: Hannah Karim)

‘Once, I was on holiday with a group of friends from sixth form, an all-white group, there was maybe 12 of us,’ she recalls.

‘We were sitting around a table for dinner and I don’t actually know what was said, I can’t remember, but one of the boys said something that fell into that ignorantly offensive category.

‘I was sat on the end of the table and I remember that I had to just really quickly turn away, because I knew I was going to cry.

‘I was at a table with 11 of my friends and all I felt was this intense embarrassment at these emotions, because I didn’t quite know where they were even coming from. My friend asked me if I was OK and I sort of just had to laugh it off.’

Hannah says this always happens. If someone says something offensive, ignorant or racist, she will cry or feel herself welling up. She says she sometimes wonders why her natural reaction is to be tearful, rather than angry.

‘I think maybe it comes from not knowing how to explain to someone why something is offensive,’ she says. ‘You’re left in this really weird state where you’ve been isolated, you feel offended, but you know that no one else knows why you would be offended.

Hannah with her family at Christmas
‘Mixed people – we can come together, but we’re still singing from very different hymn sheets’ (Picture: Hannah Karim)

‘You’re then trying to deal with that emotion and often you don’t even know how to articulate those feelings. It’s also frustrating to feel like you need to educate people around you.’

For Hannah, processing all of these intense emotions and complex decisions in a split-second is overwhelming. She thinks that’s why her automatic reaction is often tears; ‘I think I don’t know any better way to react.’

She says the hardest thing she has experienced is when a friend, or friend of a friend, has made a comment that is obviously, objectively offensive, but no one stood up for her.

‘Even if you’re not mixed-race, you would know that was offensive, but no one jumps in,’ says Hannah. ‘The silence just works to completely legitimise what has just been said and makes me question my reactions even more.

‘I often feel like I’m not allowed to react strongly to racist or offensive remarks, and when everyone around me is silent, I feel that even more.

‘How can I get angry when nobody else seems to be in any way bothered about what has been said?’

Hannah suspects that part of her ‘disconnect’ with her racial identity comes from the distance she feels between the two sides of her family.

Hannah with her dad
‘His culture has always been so heavily linked to religion for me, a religion that I chose not to follow and my brothers chose not to follow’ (Picture: Hannah Karim)

Her dad is one of 13 siblings and he is the only one in the UK after moving from the Sudan as a teenager.

‘At that time, he was never very in-touch with that side of the family,’ explains Hannah. ‘He wasn’t following Islam like the rest of his family. It wasn’t until just after I was born that my Dad started practicing again.

‘The dad that I’ve known all my life has been more connected with his culture in terms of religion, and is now constantly in contact with his family. But we haven’t had that. The next generation.’

Hannah’s dad is now a Muslim, but her mum doesn’t follow a religion having resenting being brought up in a strict Catholic household.

‘We had a choice,’ says Hannah, ‘But my parents’ relationship was very dysfunctional, so there was always a tension added on top of that choice. It wasn’t as free a choice as they were painting it out to be.

‘That added a weird layer to it, because my mum was not wanting us to be forced into a religion, or anything like that. So I think that has given me quite a weird relationship with my dad’s culture.

‘His culture has always been so heavily linked to religion for me, a religion that I chose not to follow and my brothers chose not to follow. It then felt like I couldn’t have a link to that side because I had made that decision.’

Hannah with her brothers
‘I’m not a Muslim, so I can’t connect with them in that real, familial way’ (Picture: Hannah Karim)

Her dad’s family would visit London and Hannah would visit them, but she could never shake the feeling that she was different to them.

‘I just felt like; oh, I’m not a Muslim, so I can’t connect with them in that real, familial way,’ she explains. ‘So, rather than feeling like I wanted to hear about our culture and our family, I had that instant distance that I put between us instead. 

‘Religion has always been a bigger divide for me than the fact that they’re from another part of the world.’

But Hannah says she understands her mum’s decision to not bring her children up as Muslims.

‘My mum found Catholicism very oppressive. And when she met my dad he wasn’t religious. So when that came in later, and there were children in the picture, she didn’t want it to be a repeat of her childhood.

‘Children can’t really make a choice about religion, because they’re children. My mum that felt that even if religion wasn’t being forced on us, we were still at a very impressionable age, so it wouldn’t really have been a choice.’ 

Hannah says that she has only really recently made this connection – her ‘disassociation with my brownness’ with the way she grew up feeling about her dad’s religion. She says it was never something that was embraced positively in her home.

‘As a teenage girl in South East London with all white friends, my dad’s faith was just an obstacle for me. I just wanted him to let me live my life in the same way my friends were able to.’

Hannah is happy to identify as mixed-race and says that she is comfortable with the woman she is becoming. She says she has plenty of experiences and influences in her that have nothing to do with race, and that isn’t going to change.

At the same time she’s definitely aware of the challenges she has faced by not always having those natural connections, and she thinks that’s a common experience for the mixed population in the UK.

‘I think being mixed-race is the loneliest group. And I say that without trying to undermine the experiences of any minority groups whatsoever,’ she says.

‘Mixed people – we can come together, but we’re still singing from very different hymn sheets. That is the closest we can feel to having a familiar, collective community, and even that is not that close to what I’m feeling.

‘You end up moulding into another group. Because one; mixed race groups aren’t readily available in every work space, every school, and two; those groups can never truly be reflective of everyone’s experiences anyway.’

Mixed Up

Being mixed-race is so much more than just black and white (Pictures: Jerry Syder)

Mixed Up is our weekly series that gets to the heart of what it means to be mixed-race in the UK today.

Going beyond discussions of divided identity, this series takes a look at the unique joys, privileges and complexities that come with being mixed-race - across of variety of different contexts.

The mixed-race population is the UK's fastest-growing ethnic group, and yet there is still so much more to understand about the varied lived experiences of individuals within this hugely heterogenous group.

Each week we speak to the people who know exactly how it feels to navigate this inbetween space.

MORE: Mixed Up: ‘My daughter’s teacher recoiled when I tried to take her because I don’t look like her’

MORE: Mixed Up: ‘Being stopped and searched by police taught me to identify as black’

MORE: Mixed Up: ‘Friends tell me I’m not “black enough” but I won’t change who I am’

The kindness of strangers saved my life

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Illustration of two people - a man in a dark grey t-shirt and a woman in a pink jumper - hugging
Every small act of kindness helps counteract the bleak view of the world that a person may be harbouring, when depression clouds their ability to see clearly (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

You will probably encounter someone today who is having suicidal thoughts.

It may be someone you pass by on the street, someone you see briefly at work or someone on public transport. You may never know they are at risk, but your response could help them stay alive.

When someone is deeply depressed, the world may seem a bleak and uncaring place – depression colours our thoughts and impacts on our perception of the world.

We hear this so often when clients come to the Suicide Crisis Centre for the first time: they feel unnoticed in the world, that they have no significance or worth and that it doesn’t matter if they live or die.

I’ve experienced suicidal crisis myself.

I was in the city centre, having been discharged from psychiatric hospital. I didn’t appear outwardly distressed to passers-by and was simply walking quietly through the streets, in the dark of night.

It felt disorientating to be out in the world again, after the security and containment of psychiatric hospital, and I imagine I looked lost.

Two homeless men approached me first – not to ask for help or money, but to check if I was okay. They were concerned that it wasn’t safe for a woman to be out on the streets alone, and they were worried that I was cold.

‘At least take this blanket,’ they said. ‘You’ll freeze out here’.

A man passed me, then turned and came back.

He was concerned and invited me back to his home to have some hot chocolate and toast with him and his wife. He too was worried about how cold I looked. The man phoned his wife and asked her to speak to me on his mobile, to reassure me that he was not inviting me back to an empty house with him.

I was very fortunate that all of these individuals had the best possible intentions. As a vulnerable person that night, I could have come across people who intended to harm me.

The message that I want to pass on from these encounters is the power of kindness.

I was noticed by strangers on a dark night as I edged ever closer to ending my own life – my path was interrupted and diverted.

The kindness offered by these strangers reminded me that there is goodness in the world, and that it was not the desolate place that it had appeared a few hours earlier.

These acts of kindness helped me feel that this is a world I might want to remain in. It reconnected me with the very best of human nature.

Every small act of kindness helps counteract the bleak view of humanity and of the world that a person may be harbouring, when depression clouds their ability to see clearly.

Now, I always notice how drivers responds when I pay the fare on the bus. Do they make eye contact, are they welcoming, do they make that journey just a little bit better for the people who get on their bus?

I also notice shop assistants – people who give their full attention to the person they are serving, who show warmth and kindness through their tone of voice, their manner and the things they say. They may be the only person who connects with a suicidal person on that day.

That is why encounters of this kind matter so much.

Please don’t let someone pass unnoticed on their way to end their life.

Please see them, acknowledge them, connect with them in any small way you can.

I was noticed by strangers on a dark night as I edged ever closer to ending my own life – my path was interrupted and diverted.

As professionals working with clients in suicidal crisis, I know how important it is that we show kindness to every client we meet. It is as important as all the suicide prevention training and suicide intervention skills we acquire.

Kindness can absolutely save lives.

Need support? Contact the Samaritans

For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.

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The scientific reason why you should be kind

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An illustration of a woman holding flowers with a flashing brain/speech bubble next to her
There is scientific evidence that shows being kind doesn’t just make us feel good, but our brains reward us for it (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)

We can all identify with that warm glow feeling we experience when our kind gesture makes someone smile – but is there any science behind it?

The question of whether human nature is good or bad has puzzled philosophers for centuries, but there is scientific evidence that shows being kind doesn’t just make us feel good, but our brains reward us for it.

To gain further understanding of why kindness is so powerful, I conducted a research experiment with Dr Dan Campbell-Meiklejohn at the University of Sussex, where we studied the brain activity from over 1,000 participants.

We gave each person money that they could either keep for themselves or give away to another person or a charity, while making two types of kindness decisions: strategic or altruistic.

If they choose to give it away, the receiver could return the favour – so there is an incentive to be kind (a strategic decision).

In other situations, there was no way the participant could benefit financially from their kindness and their decision was anonymous, without praise or recognition. This is known as altruism and the only possible motivation is the warm glow or feel-good factor.

We found that in both cases, generosity activated the reward networks of the brain – the same regions that light up when we eat nice food or look at someone we love.

In other words, being kind makes us feel good, and receiving money and giving it away activates the same brain areas.

Neuroscientists have made similar discoveries when researching empathy.

The fact people give when there is nothing to get in return – combined with the brain’s ‘warm glow’ – suggests that kindness is rewarding both for the person receiving the kindness and the person being kind.

When someone else feels pain, the same areas of our brain are active as when we experience pain ourselves.

Some researchers have suggested kindness is actually selfishness in disguise – people are motivated by what they can get in return for being kind.

However, our experiment revealed that the part of the brain called the subgenual anterior cingulate cortex is most activated and glows strongest when we give something away that has no possible benefit for ourselves.

The fact people give when there is nothing to get in return – combined with the brain’s ‘warm glow’ – suggests that kindness is rewarding both for the person receiving the kindness and the person being kind.

The next step is to identify why people are kind in some situations and unkind in others.

Our current research, and work by other scientists, looks at how empathy can collapse when the people suffering are far away or in very large groups.

Human beings’ empathy systems evolved to care about small numbers of people close to us as for most of human history, these were the only people we were aware of. When we see others as distant, different or part of an unemotional statistic, it’s easier to justify unkindness.

However, technology has made the world a smaller place, giving us unique opportunities to help people who don’t live near us but are desperately in need.

There are claims that humans are selfish by nature, only interested in what benefits them directly and that evolution favoured those who were best at competing against others.

But now we know how kindness affects us and that it can change or save lives, we should be motivated to connect with others.

By focusing on what we have in common and the positive impacts of helping, we can encourage our kind nature, make a difference for others – and feel good about it, too.

MORE: Politics can be kinder even if Boris Johnson can’t

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MORE: After celebrity death tragedies we all say we need to be kinder – so why aren’t we doing it?

These ‘ultra-squishy’ sex toys have been designed for people who find sex painful

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Tracey Cox Supersex Soft Touch sex toys
The extra layer of silicone means these toys mould to your body (Picture: Lovehoney)

Sex is supposed to be all about pleasure, but that isn’t always the case.

Some people experience regular pain and discomfort whenever they have sex – and it’s leading to stress, anxiety and causing people to avoid having sex altogether.

It is also incredibly common, with as many as one in three women saying they find sex uncomfortable.

But there’s good news; a new range of sex toys has been designed to help people focus on the pleasure, rather than the pain.

Designed by Tracey Cox, the Supersex range for Lovehoney is made from ‘ultra squishy’ soft silicone for extra comfort.

The sex expert has designed seven new products  – all with a layer of silicone covering another layer of liquid silicone – so that they mould to the body to target all the sensitive hot spots without causing aggravation.

They are also lightweight and easy to handle, and creators say they feel comfortable on all parts of the body.

‘So many women complain to me about feeling discomfort during sex, so I wanted to create a range that worked especially well for them,’ says Tracey.

‘Painful sex affects all age groups, not just middle-aged women. There are many, many reasons why sex becomes uncomfortable.

‘All the products in this range are made from body-safe, silky soft silicone which feels great next to the skin.

There are seven new products in the Supersex range:

Soft Feel Wand Vibrator: Used externally to provide clitoral stimulation, it’s great for women who find penetration too painful or uncomfortable. It also works for erotic massage for couples – £69.99

Tracey Cox Supersex Soft Feel Wand Vibrator
Great for the clitoris and for sensual massages (Picture Lovehoney)

Soft Feel Bullet Vibrator: Coated with a double layer of silicone, this powerful bullet is soft and quiet, waterproof, and has 10 powerful vibration levels – £44.99

Tracey Cox Supersex Soft Feel Bullet Vibrator
Waterproof so you can make bath time even happier (Picture Lovehoney)

Soft Feel Love Ring: This love ring is super-stretchy and made from the same soft silicone, so it’s comfortable to wear. It helps to keep an erection hard and increase the chances of orgasm during penetration – £39.99

Tracey Cox Supersex Soft Feel Vibrating Love Ring
Super stretchy to make it easy to wear (Picture Lovehoney)

Soft Feel Clitoral Vibrator:This vibrator is used externally on the clitoris. Great if you have issues with vaginal dryness or lubrication which can make penetration painful – £49.99

Tracey Cox Supersex Soft Feel Clitoral Vibrator
The perfect vibe if you’re not into penetration (Picture Lovehoney)

The Kegel Training Set:The kit includes six, weighted, silicone balls to help keep your genitals healthy and strong.

Tracey Cox Supersex Kegel Training Set
It’s like a workout for your genitals (Picture Lovehoney)

Soft Feel G-Spot Vibrator: This vibe is slimline to make it more comfortable. The double-layer of silicone makes for ultra-easy insertion and it’s the perfect size to use with a partner to stimulate the clitoris during penetrative sex – £59.99

Tracey Cox Supersex Soft Feel G-Spot Vibrator
It’s slimline and you can use it alone or with a partner (Picture Lovehoney)

Soft Feel Rabbit Vibrator: Rabbit vibes are sometimes avoided when sex feels uncomfortable or painful, because they’re often too large or made of hard material. This model is soft and slimline, with 10 vibration levels (three speeds and seven patterns) – £64.99

Tracey Cox Supersex Soft Feel Rabbit Vibrator
This rabbit has 10 vibration levels (Picture Lovehoney)

‘Lots of women who find sex uncomfortable, avoid sex altogether which can make the problem worse,’ adds Tracey.

‘Regular masturbation means regular orgasms which helps to keep the pelvic floor in good shape. This, in turn, helps to make penetrative sex feel more comfortable.’

This is Tracey Cox’s third range of sex toys for Lovehoney and the new Supersex products are being targeted at women and couples over the age of 40 – one of the fastest growing segments of the sexual wellbeing market.

‘Painful sex can affect up to one in three women,’ says Lovehoney product director Bonny Hall.

‘Tracey Cox is the world’s leading sex educator and has created the Supersex Soft Feel range for sexual satisfaction with comfort being very much the priority.’

MORE: Why is a mortgage considered ‘good debt’ – and is that actually the case?

MORE: Mixed Up: ‘Being mixed-race is the loneliest group – no one can ever truly reflect our experiences’

MORE: The scientific reason why you should be kind

Galaxy is launching its first vegan chocolate bars (and the flavours sound amazing)

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Galaxy vegan chocolates
The hazelnut paste gives the bars that classic creamy texture (Picture: Galaxy)

Vegans rejoice; Galaxy is to become the first major milk chocolate brand to launch a vegan alternative.

Galaxy’s first ever vegan bar range means that people who follow a plant-based diet will get to experience the creamy, dreamy joy of Galaxy chocolate – and the flavours sound so good.

The three delectable flavours include delicious smooth orange – a combination of rich cocoa and orange oil, caramel and sea salt – cocoa with crunchy salted caramel pieces, and luxurious caramelised hazelnut.

But will the lack of dairy have an impact on the chocolate brand’s trademark smoothness? Creators say that the range doesn’t compromise on quality or taste, and that hazelnut paste is the key to creating the same smooth and creamy signature characteristics that we all know and love.

Galaxy vegan orange
This sounds delicious (Picture: Galaxy)

The bars are also packaged in a widely recyclable card sleeve and compostable film for extra eco-points.

The clear film inside is made with wood fibre and breaks down in home composting within a few months, as well as being suitable for garden and food waste collections.

‘We’re so excited to be bringing these delicious treats to Galaxy’s range using a vegan recipe that doesn’t compromise on the brand’s signature smooth and creamy characteristics,’ says Kerry Cavanaugh, Marketing Director at Mars Wrigley UK.

Galaxy vegan caramel and seat salt
Salty, caramelly goodness (Picture: Galaxy)

‘Wherever you look, you can’t avoid the vegan buzz in the UK and with the launch of Galaxy Vegan we’re thrilled to be offering vegans, flexitarians and lovers of sweet treats even more ways to choose pleasure with a brand they love.’

Mars Wrigley has been working closely with The Vegan Society on the launch and their logo appears on the packs. Abigail Stevens, Trademark Marketing Manager at The Vegan Society added: ‘We are delighted that Galaxy, such a well-known brand, is entering the vegan market and offering more choice – and even more excited that there are three delicious flavours to choose from.’

The range will be available to buy at Tesco stores from Monday 18 November, and online soon after via Ocado and Amazon.

MORE: These ‘ultra-squishy’ sex toys have been designed for people who find sex painful

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MORE: Mum makes daughter gingerbread playhouse for free by using only recycled materials

Mum who had preventative mastectomy begs NHS to test her daughters for breast cancer gene

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Tara Huck with her daughters, ( L- R) Katie 13yrs, Tara, molly 10 yrs & emily 15 yrs. Three members of Tara Hucks family have died of breast cancer - her mother, her aunt (her mother's sister) and her grandmother (her mother's mum). To stop Tara getting the disease, she's had a double mastectomy. But the unforeseen consequence of this is that her children will no longer have a first degree relative with the disease so won't be eligible for surgery/extra checks. What's more, a new test which could identify the genetic fault which is causing the disease in their family is being delayed being introduced on the NHS. see Rachel Ellis copy. ?? WARREN SMITH 2019 GOODHEALTH.
Tara Huck with her daughters (Picture: WARREN SMITH)

Tara Huck, in 2016, took the decision that more and more women are currently taking to reduce their risk of breast cancer – she had a preventative double mastectomy.

She was offered the surgery after two members of her family died from breast cancer; her mum, Julie Cragg, aged 56, and her aunt, at just 28.

Tara’s grandmother Majorie Smith was also diagnosed with the cancer in her fifties, leading doctors to believe that Tara may have a high chance of contracting it herself in later life.

Although neither Tara or her mum, aunt, and grandmother had tested positive for the faulty BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes (which have become more well-known after actress Angelina Jolie tested positive for BRCA1), it was believed that there was an unknown hereditary gene that was responsible for the high rates of breast cancer through the generations.

The 34-year-old mum-of-three chose to undergo the preventative double mastectomy after her own mother was diagnosed in 2015.

Tara, who runs a nursery, says: ‘It was a no-brainer, I knew it was the right thing to do’.

After undergoing the mastectomy and reconstructive surgery afterwards, however, Tara was dealt a cruel hand that could affect her daughters.

The way that screening currently works is that women are only offered this at age 50, unless certain risk factors are acknowledged.

?? WARREN SMITH 2019 GOODHEALTH. COLLECT SHOWS TARA'S MUM JULIE CRAGG. Three members of Tara Hucks family have died of breast cancer - her mother, her aunt (her mother's sister) and her grandmother (her mother's mum). To stop Tara getting the disease, she's had a double mastectomy. But the unforeseen consequence of this is that her children will no longer have a first degree relative with the disease so won't be eligible for surgery/extra checks. What's more, a new test which could identify the genetic fault which is causing the disease in their family is being delayed being introduced on the NHS. see Rachel Ellis copy.
Tara’s mother, Julie, died shortly after being diagnosed with breast cancer (Picture: WARREN SMITH 2019

These risk factors include the faulty BRCA genes, a faulty TP53 gene, or two first degree relatives (for example, a mother, sister or daughter) with a diagnosis under the age of 40.

Because the gene in Tara’s family is unidentified, her daughters Emily, 15, Katie, 14, and Molly, 11, are not able to be tested, and will not be offered preventative mastectomies.

Also, because Tara – from Poulton-le-Fylde, Lancashire – has had the surgery and reduced her risk of breast cancer significantly, he daughters are now also considered low risk.

As a result of these factors, the girls will miss out yearly breast screening from the age of 30, MRI scans to check their breasts up to the age of 50 and, if required, preventative mastectomies.

‘This means my daughters won’t be screened before the age of 50 and won’t be offered surgery,’ said Tara.

?? WARREN SMITH 2019 GOODHEALTH. COLLECT SHOWS TARA'S GRANDMOTHER MARJORIE SMITH Three members of Tara Hucks family have died of breast cancer - her mother, her aunt (her mother's sister) and her grandmother (her mother's mum). To stop Tara getting the disease, she's had a double mastectomy. But the unforeseen consequence of this is that her children will no longer have a first degree relative with the disease so won't be eligible for surgery/extra checks. What's more, a new test which could identify the genetic fault which is causing the disease in their family is being delayed being introduced on the NHS. see Rachel Ellis copy.
Tara’s grandmother, Majorie, was also diagnosed in her 50s (Picture: WARREN SMITH 2019)

‘If I’d known there would be repercussions for the girls, I probably wouldn’t have had surgery. It makes me really angry.

‘I want them to be offered the chance of preventative mastectomy so this disease doesn’t affect another generation of our family. Emily is already in fear of what the future holds. Will she have to get cancer to be considered high risk?

‘It took my mum’s life to save mine, but by saving mine there’s a high chance I’ve put my daughters at risk of losing theirs.’

She is now begging the NHS to offer SNP (single nucleotide polymorphisms) testing for those with a familial history of the condition.

This test can refine the risk level for those who don’t test positive for a faulty BRCA or TP53 genes but who still have a family history of breast cancer. Nationwide SNP testing was tabled by the government, but plans were delayed, with no official date confirming when they might be introduced nationwide.

For Tara, she says, ‘It would ease the huge concern of the unknown that I have for my girls’ future which makes me feel sick inside.’

We contacted The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) for comment on this issue. They said: ‘We are unable to provide any comments during the election period. We are unable to provide any comments during the election period.’

They directed Metro.co.uk to their guidelines on genetic testing, which offer best practice to healthcare professionals.

The testing for genetic mutations that may cause breast cancer focuses primarily on BRCA1, BRCA2, and TP53, which are – although well-known – somewhat rare (2% of inherited breast cancers are due to the faulty BRCA genes that most tests can spot).

That leaves Tara and her family with little to no recourse when it comes to taking preventative measures for their health.

MORE: These ‘ultra-squishy’ sex toys have been designed for people who find sex painful

MORE: Mixed Up: ‘Being mixed-race is the loneliest group – no one can ever truly reflect our experiences’


Ball pit, anyone? The top 10 alternative nights out

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Going ‘out out’ these days doesn’t have to mean hitting the clubs anymore. These are 10 of the coolest nights out you won’t want to miss a second of…

Whistle Punks

London, Manchester, Birmingham and Bristol

WhistlePunksxmas-event1868-63b8

We love going out because it’s an opportunity to let our hair down – and what better way is there to relieve stress than by throwing axes? 

Whistle Punks brings this woodland hobby into the heart of the city, giving you and your friends the freedom to learn about this unusual activity to the tune of some banging beats and with the help of some expert instructors. 

By the end of the night, you’ll be hurling axes like a pro. And who knows? Maybe you’ll even learn some neat tricks – like throwing two axes at a time (all without hurting anyone!).

whistlepunks.com

Dabbers Social Bingo

London

Dabbers_Press_Launch_Jan_2019 48-23dd

You might associate bingo with old ladies gathered in town halls, and, to be honest, that generalisation is not wrong. But the art of bingo is now undergoing a bit of rejuvenation – and Dabbers Social Bingo is leading the way.

With comedians hosting the game, boozy brunch sessions, live music acts and prizes that are actually worth having, this game has finally become cool again. 

So rock up with your crew, order a few cocktails and dabble in some hilarity.

dabbers.bingo

Cirque Le Soir

London and Manchester

If you like a touch of glamour on the side of your childish antics, Cirque Le Soir might be just the thing for you.

On the face of it, it’s a normal night club – but once you step through the doors, you enter a world of sexy burlesque, daring fire eaters and a real-life fun fair.

Pair this with incredible music, oodles of fizz and a ball pit – yes, an actual ball pit – and you’ve got yourself a night out you won’t be forgetting any time soon.

cirquelesoir.com

No more FOMO with Nordic Spirit

If you’re an adult smoker, being able to light up when you’re letting your hair down isn’t always achievable.

But getting your nicotine kick without bothering your friends is possible with Nordic Spirit.

Developed in Sweden, these tobacco-free pouches are convenient and discreet, and are flavoured with refreshing Mint and fruity Bergamot Wildberry. Simply pop them under your top or bottom lip any time, anywhere – including when out with friends.

Try 20 pouches for £6.50

Gingerline

London

Gingerline

The Gingerline group refers to itself as a gathering of ‘clandestine dining adventurers’, and they have a real knack for creating immersive dining experiences across London.

There are a few of these happening before the end of the year, all of which will take place at secret locations along the London overground line.

Chambers takes diners through different rooms as they enter new dimensions for each course, while The Grand Expedition, which returns in November, celebrates childhood stories through live animation, acting and dancing – and incredible food, obvs.

Whichever one takes your fancy, be quick about it, because tickets for these exclusive sessions never stick around for long.

gingerline.co.uk

Botanical Boys

London

Botanical Boys

Turning the traditional night out completely on its head, the Botanical Boys have an offering that’s got fun, relaxation and even a little bit of education wrapped up in one.

The horticultural brains behind this venture offer terrarium masterclasses, where you can handcraft your very own self-sustaining terrarium. Pop along with a group, drink some fizz and come away not only with some newfound knowledge about this art, but with your very own terrarium to keep forever.

widget.obby.co.uk/botanicalboys

Sounds Familiar Music Quiz

London

Sounds Familiar Music Quiz

Think you know your music? Then gather your pals and put your brains to the test at Sounds Familiar.

It’s a music quiz like no other. Contestants are challenged on their ability to identify a number of songs that have been mashed together in catchy reinventions, name the diva behind the song and much, much more.

What’s especially great about this quiz, is that there comes a point where people stop playing and just sing their hearts out – amazing.

soundsfamiliar.co

clueQuest

London

clueQuest

Fancy a bit of escapism on a night out? Then clueQuest might be just the thing you need.

This escape room game is one of the top-rated in the UK and has a number of different 60-minute missions for you and your friends to tackle.

Sharp minds are needed to solve Revenge of The Sheep, where you need to work your way through a room and find clues to stop a certain Professor BlackSheep unleashing his sheep-mutating device, while history boffins might be drawn to the virtual reality world of Escape The Lost Pyramid.

Even if you don’t manage to escape any of the rooms, it’s a good laugh for a group – and victors have the great bars and restaurants of King’s Cross nearby to celebrate their victory in afterwards.

cluequest.co.uk

Journey To The Underworld

London

Journey to the underworld (1)-aa5c

A slap-up meal is a failsafe way to have a corker of a night out. But it doesn’t have to all be about the food, as Journey To The Underworld reveals.

Brave travellers will board a train at Pedley Street Station and prepare to venture into a world of demons in this theatrical dining experience. Guests can eat and drink their way through an evening of virtual reality, and experience the downright weird and completely wonderful as their train takes them further into the Earth’s depths.

It certainly beats the usual train commute.

funicularproductions.com/journeytotheunderworld

London Shuffle Club

London

ShuffleClub-2267

There’s clearly a market for old-school past times getting a reboot, because another one of London’s latest must-try hangouts is the London Shuffle Club, a reimagining of the traditional table game.

Punters can play the original version or the modern floor equivalent outdoors, using cues to push discs to key areas on a scoring triangle. The aim is to get more points than the other team. Paired with a slice of pizza, the whole thing makes for a super chill evening with friends.

Although watch out – it can get competitive very quickly!

londonshuffle.com

Skuna Hot Tub Boat

London

Hot Tub-abeb

One of London’s most alluring qualities is, without a doubt, its waterways. From the River Thames to its winding canals, you’re never far from a peaceful spot with charming waterside views.

There are plenty of ways to enjoy these areas too, be it at a riverside bar or aboard a boat which takes you on a dining tour through the canals of north London.

But now there’s a new way to experience London’s aquatic side – and it involves a floating hot tub.

Skuna Hot Tub Boats allow you to drift about the capital’s prettiest canals with your pals in a cosy 38-degree bath, accompanied by bubbles. Bliss.

skunaboats.com

Visit nordicspirit.co.uk today and never miss out on the fun again

Build-A-Bear are stealing (the show this) Christmas with their new Grinch toys

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The Grinch Santa Suit Gift Bundle from Build-A-Bear
Who could bully this young man at Who-school?! (Picture: Build-A-Bear)

The Grinch is the ultimate anti-hero, giving us hope that even those with hearts 10 sizes too small can come around to the magic of Christmas.

Also, who doesn’t love a story about a furry misanthrope who eats glass in his big bachelor cave and has a best friend who’s a dog?

Build-A-Bear clearly do anyway, and have released new Grinch toys so all those of us that wish we were in Whoville can have a taste of the Seuss life.

Fans have flocked to the store to get their hands on the toys, which comprise of one grown-up Grinch, and one baby Grinch.

For £35.50, you can get an adult Grinch bear, that also comes with an exclusive Santa suit to recreate the night he stole Christmas.

Or, for £41, you get all of that, as well as a voice insert that says six of The Grinch’s most iconic sayings, ranging from his ‘Ho, ho, no’ days to when he’s exclaiming ‘Merry Christmas, Whoville’.

The Grinch Santa Suit Gift Bundle from Build-A-Bear
He comes with a fancy Santa outfit (Picture: Build-A-Bear)

Alternatively, if you bought the bear and the suit bundle, you could add your own voice recordings or even a beating heart, which is perfect for this tale.

Fans loved the baby Grinch toy so much that the adorable £10 plushie has already sold out.

The Grinch Santa Suit Gift Bundle from Build-A-Bear
But he’s just as happy au naturale (Picture: Build-A-Bear)

It was an online exclusive, which means you can’t head to your local to store to see if they’ve got any left.

You can hope and pray – and send a letter to Santa – that they’ll restock the sweet toy, but there are no guarantees. Perhaps a little fairy dust might be necessary.

In similarly Grinchy spirit, Harrods have locked off their Santa’s grotto this year, so only customers who spend more than £2,000 in store will get a chance to sit on the big man’s knee.

A shop has also turned off their Christmas playlist. Granted, it is to stop their staff going completely insane, but dammit we want to hear Slade again!

AD FEATURE: Ball pit, anyone? The top 10 alternative nights out

MORE: Mum who had preventative mastectomy begs NHS to test her daughters for breast cancer gene

Bride saves fortune on wedding with £30 Missguided dress and DIY Home Bargains bouquets

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The bride, bridesmaid and maid-of-honour in their highstreet dresses with homemade bouquets
The bride, bridesmaid and maid-of-honour in their highstreet dresses with homemade bouquets (Picture: Ruth McLaughlin)

A bride had a beautiful wedding on a budget thanks to some high street dresses and homemade bridal bouquets.

Amanda McBryde, 23, from Scotland, got married on 19 September at Port Glasgow Registry Office to her partner Lee.

The couple decided they wanted to pay for it themselves but that meant a tight budget.

Her mum Ruth McLaughlin paid for the jewellery, the photographer and some tiny touches, while her uncle paid for the couple’s car.

But the pair paid for the rest themselves and had some inventive ways to keep costs down, while still having the perfect day.

They used Vistaprint to create save the date cards and invitations for £35.

The bride bought her dress from online shop Missguided and it was already on sale, down to £30.

One of the handmade bouquets
One of the handmade bouquets (Picture: Ruth McLaughlin)

Her maid-of-honour was her best friend of 18 years and her pink dress came from Boohoo for £11.

They paid a little more for the dress for her bridesmaid – her eight-year-old sister Cayla. They picked up a dress for £80 from Monsoon.

Amanda and Lee
Amanda and Lee (Picture: Ruth McLaughlin)

But one of the biggest cut-price items was the bouquets that Amanda and Ruth created by spending £18 on fresh roses from Home Bargains and wrapping ribbon around the stem, instead of paying hundreds for flowers from a professional florist.

They bought three bunches costing £6 each and Ruth used ribbon she already had at home.

Ruth said: ‘They look lovely. My sister-in-law is a florist and was nicely shocked when she found out where they were from.’

Amanda and Lee signing the register with Cayla
Amanda and Lee signing the register with Cayla (Picture: Ruth McLaughlin

The couple had their reception in Cruden Hall in Greenock and enjoyed celebrating their marriage with close friends and family.

Ruth added: ‘I’m so proud of them. They wanted to do it all themselves and they did in just a few months.

‘They found so many ways to reduce costs and the whole thing was stunning.

‘It was so special to have my youngest daughter Cayla so involved too.

‘The registry office did an ‘extra witness’ form for her to sign. They have such a close bond despite the age gap. It was so special.’

MORE: Bride overcome with emotion after receiving robe made from late mum’s wedding dress

MORE: Bride orders dog-themed wedding cake, ends up with one that looks like a ‘dead porcupine’

World Kindness Day: Don’t run yourself ragged being kind to others if you aren’t being kind to yourself

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How to know if you have anxiety
It’s vital to acknowledge that acts of kindness can run you down (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

It’s World Kindness Day, when everyone’s encouraged to make the world a better place by doing good deeds and showing kindness to others.

That’s a wonderful idea, obviously. Kindness is great! Good deeds are, well, good!

But heed this warning: before you race out to bake cookies for your mum or volunteer in an animal shelter, there’s something pretty urgent you need to do first.

And that, as trite as it sounds, is to be kind to yourself.

Too many of us run ourselves ragged trying to be the most wholesome, generous, and lovely person around, picking up the bulk of emotional and domestic labour all in an effort to be ‘nice’, well-liked, and to try to rid ourselves of the overwhelming guilt of being a world-destroying human creating garbage and doing garbage things.

In the midst of all that rushing around, we forget about ourselves and leave our wellbeing on the backburner.

Or worse, we berate ourselves for not doing more, feeling increasingly shit about ourselves no matter what kindness we extend.

(This is especially true of women, who are raised to be nice, kind and lovely, but let’s not get into that. I don’t fancy being trolled on World Kindness Day)

The truth of the matter is that while kindness is well-intentioned, you’re doing more harm than good when you put kindness to others above kindness to yourself.

It’s like they say during flight safety guides – you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you help others.

You simply can’t do much good if you’re falling apart inside.

You might commit to picking up your nan’s parcel from the Post Office, helping your pal check over their job application, and picking up the cake for your coworker’s leaving do. Then you end up having to bail at the last minute – ultimately pissing everyone else off more than just letting them do it themselves in the first place – because you’re entirely overwhelmed, or you’ve been taken out by the flu because you’re so stressed your immune system feels nonexistent.

Or your attempts at kindness at the expense of yourself could have unintended side effects on others. Maybe you’re spending so much time being kind to others that you’re so grouchy and irritable, and end up shoving someone out of the way when heading for the Tube or snapping at someone who’s already having an awful day.

This isn’t to say that you should sack off being kind entirely, of course.

But it’s vitally important to look after yourself before you go hard caring for everyone else. And perhaps more so, it’s important to recognise that kind gestures might not be an unlimited resource – it can be emotionally and physically tiring to do good. We have to be realistic about what exactly we can take on.

That means not feeling so responsible for saving the planet that you can’t sleep at night or picking up so many errands for other people that you have no time to even consider how you actually feel.

You can be as kind and generous as you want and feel able, but only once you’ve extended that kindness to yourself.

Kindness is self-care. It’s getting enough sleep, eating well, and not doing things that make you feel rubbish. It’s checking in with yourself mentally and addressing the negative stuff, whether that’s stress or a mental health condition.

You can’t be your kindest and most wonderful self if you’re running at low capacity. You can’t save the world if you’re pushing yourself so hard you burn out.

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish, it’s self-preservation. It’s a way of making sure you’re in the right state to do good before you go out and offer kindness to others, enabling you to do more and be better.

So this World Kindness Day, treat yourself with kindness before you rush off to do your random good deeds. It’s not about ignoring the needs of others, but recognising that it’s pretty difficult to help others if you’re a wreck.

MORE: The kindness of strangers saved my life

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MORE: What random acts of kindness can you do for Random Acts Of Kindness day?

PETA has launched a terrifying Christmas jumper featuring a mutilated sheep

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PETA wool hurts christmas jumper
Well this is… disturbing (Picture: PETA)

We all love an ugly Christmas jumper – but PETA have taken the concept top the next level, and they hope to spread an important message at the same time.

The limited-edition jumper says ‘wool hurts’ above the PETA logo and features a giant, 3-D sheep. The mangled and bloody front half of the sheep sticks out from the front of the jumper, its rear from the back.

Festive.

The jumper launch is part of a bigger anti-wool campaign by PETA that also includes urging Forever 21 to stop selling clothing made of wool.

The item itself is made of 100% acrylic yarn – and absolutely no wool.

‘This is part of PETA’s campaign against the wool industry, where workers have been caught beating, kicking, stomping on, and even killing gentle sheep in shearing sheds,’ reads the product description on the website.

‘With the help of celebrities such as Billie Eilish and P!nk, PETA is calling on shoppers (and retailers like Forever 21) to help sheep by switching to cruelty-free knits.’

So would you rock a bloody, bruised sheep to your office Christmas jumper day this year?

If you want to make a statement it’s going to set you back quite a bit – the jumper costs $149 (£116) from the PETA shop, and you would have to add on shipping costs from the US.

In addition to the sweater, PETA is also selling a Beauty Without Bunnies beanie hat and a Gobble Veggies, Not Turkeys Inflatable Lawn Ornament this holiday season.

MORE: Galaxy is launching its first vegan chocolate bars (and the flavours sound amazing)

MORE: World Kindness Day: Don’t run yourself ragged being kind to others if you aren’t being kind to yourself

MORE: Bride saves fortune on wedding with £30 Missguided dress and DIY Home Bargains bouquets

Mum creates amazing DIY playroom for son with sensory processing issues for £80

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Ashleigh Dunkley was using the cupboard under her stairs to store junk but after seeing how the sensory room at nursery was helping her son CJ, she decided she wanted to use the space to create her own.

The mum-of-two, from Buckie, Scotland, created a sensory experience with materials they already had and some she picked up on Amazon, Facebook Marketplace and Poundland.

She filled it with a latch board, cogs, a lava lamp, a chair, cushions, magnetic numbers and a crocodile wall toy that were being kept elsewhere.

Then she bought some foam mats, paying £10 for 30, 10m of LED strip lights for £13.99 on Amazon, a bubble lump she bought secondhand on Facebook and some lights for £1 and £1 in Poundland.

The room before Ashleigh turned it into a sensory room (Picture: Ashleigh Dunkley)
The room before (Picture: Ashleigh Dunkley)
The room after Ashleigh turned it into a sensory room
The room after (Picture: Ashleigh Dunkley)

She put together the ball pit with some that friends and family were throwing out and some that she bought on Facebook for £30.

Altogether, the room cost around £80 to put together.

Ashleigh Dunkley and son CJ
Ashleigh Dunkley and son CJ (Picture: Ashleigh Dunkley)

She got the idea after seeing how the room at CJ’s developmental nursery was helping develop his senses through light, sound and touch.

Ashleigh told Tyla: ‘The effect it has on him was instantly clear to see. He’s settled, happy and content. We had looked into purchasing large sensory boards for home use but soon found out that these cost thousands of pounds for one panel.

The ball pit inside the sensory room
The ball pit inside the room (Picture: Ashleigh Dunkley)

‘CJ also attends a mainstream nursery and they had started to create a sensory room, in a small space, with materials from B&M and Amazon which got us thinking about our large under stairs cupboard that was just being used for junk.’

She said CJ loves the room and it helps to settle him when he gets a bit overwhelmed.

MORE: PETA has launched a terrifying Christmas jumper featuring a mutilated sheep

MORE: Bride saves fortune on wedding with £30 Missguided dress and DIY Home Bargains bouquets

Designer creates reversible wedding dress to give brides options on their big day

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The Rosie dress, in plain fabric on the left and lace on the right from the reversible wedding dress collection by Trish Peng
The Rosie dress, in plain fabric on the left and lace on the right (Picture: Trish Peng)

When it comes to choosing your wedding dress, you usually have to order months in advance and what if you change your mind?

Well, now you can as a designer as created a reversible wedding dress to give you a choice of looks.

New Zealand based Trish Peng has made gowns with a single-coloured fabric on one side and a delicate lace pattern on the other.

There are 11 styles to choose from including a flowing strapless gown and a fitted v-neck dress.

It gives brides the option of waiting until the big day to decide on the final look or she can switch it up between the ceremony and the reception.

Falen with a top in lace on the left and in plain on the right
Falen with a top in lace on the left and in plain on the right (Picture: Trish Peng)
Aleisha with lace on the left and in the plain fabric on the right
Aleisha with lace on the left and in the plain fabric on the right (Picture: Trish Peng)

The styles are named after brides Trish has worked with and the whole idea came from a conversation with one client who was stuck between lace or a minimalist design.

It’s thought to be the first reversible wedding dress in the world – which created a few problems.

Falen reversible wedding dress from Trish Peng
Falen in lace on the left and plain on the right (Picture: Trish Peng)
caelyn reversible wedding dress from Trish Peng
Caelyn in lace fabric and in the plain fabric on the right (Picture: Trish Peng)
Imogen reversible wedding dress from Trish Peng
The Imogen dress in lace on the left and in the plain fabric on the right (Picture: Trish Peng)

The only zipper she could find was a clunky one usually added to a sleeping bag so to make it fit in with a wedding dress, she had to hand stitch two zippers on each side of the gown.

Trish debuted the collection at New York Bridal Fashion Week earlier this month.

It’s not the first time her designs have made headlines – in 2016, she made a dress with a record-breaking 25m long train and in 2017, she made a dress out of flowers that only lived for three hours.

MORE: Mum creates amazing DIY playroom for son with sensory processing issues for £80

MORE: Bride saves fortune on wedding with £30 Missguided dress and DIY Home Bargains bouquets


Why does this dog Christmas jumper make it look like you’re patting a penis?

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Dog Christmas Jumper that looks like a penis
See what we mean? (Picture: worldwearz.com)

Christmas Jumper Day is on Friday 13 December this year, and people across the country will be donning their woolens to show support for Save the Children.

Some might opt for this, rather terrifying, option from PETA. Others might stay more classic with some of these cute designs from Primark.

For dog lovers, it seems only natural to show off their furry friends during the festive season via jumper.

Be warned, however, that if you’re looking for the perfect dog-themed Christmas jumper, this one might not be workplace appropriate.

A number of people were advertised this ‘Best gift for Christmas dog lovers’ from WorldWearz on Facebook, and noticed that everything may not be as it seems.

The jumper, which retails for $39.95 (£31.12) – you can also buy it as a t-shirt or hoody – is supposed to depict a sweet puppy, with a hand hovering over it, presumably ready to pat said dog.

Christmas jumper for dog lovers 100% looks like you're petting a penis
The design is also available on a t-shirt (Picture: World Wearz)

We (and a whole load of online commenters) couldn’t help but notice, though, that the dog looks a little different to your usual cocker spaniel.

Once you see the penis-dog, you really can’t unsee it.

One Redditor said, ‘Must be a weiner dog’, while another said, ‘Pet that dong’.

But penis puns aside, it could be a pretty big fashion faux-pas if you end up wearing it out carolling.

That is unless you’re not going to any houses that might be offended by a huge Christmas penis staring at them from outside their front door.

It’s definitely controversial anyway, as a Facebook post advertising the item had garnered 8k likes and almost 10k comments.

Some called it ‘disturbing’ given that you can purchase the design on children’s sized clothes. Hopefully it’s either a silly joke or a genuine error, rather than an attempt to offend the nation at Midnight Mass.

Primark were another company who got caught out a few years back, when people spotted a hidden penis design in their #Elfie t-shirts.

Easy mistake to make, it appears.

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Heated mouse mats are now available on Amazon to keep your hands warm this winter

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Heated mouse mat from Amazon
The heated mouse mat (Picture: Amazon)

Typing with gloves on is not the best solution to cold hands.

The added layer doesn’t exactly make it easier to find the right keys.

But sometimes it’s just too cold to actually get any work done.

Why do offices insist on having the air con on when it’s cold outside? Or maybe you work from home and having the heating on all day is a bit too much.

Luckily, Amazon has a solution for your freezing freezers – the heated mouse mat.

The USB powered device has a warming pad and is like a little cosy cave for your hands but you can still use the house below.

It comes in a range of colours and is priced between £16.45 and £16.66 depending on which shade you choose.

Heated mouse mat from Amazon
It comes in a range of colours (Picture: Amazon)

It has 4.7 out of five stars, with most people saying it’s made working in the colder months much easier.

One reviewer said: ‘Brilliant product. My hand was toastie warm without having to use the heat pad. Sitting under an air-con vent the cold air blows continually down on my hand.

‘Using the USB heated mouse mat has solved my freezing hand problem.’

Another added: ‘People at work call it my big pink slipper. I call it my haven for warm fingers! This is great.

‘I should have bought one these years ago. Keeps my fingers nice and toasty in my cold office building. The good thing is if it gets too warm I can turn it off.’

And if the mouse mat isn’t enough to keep you warm, Amazon is also selling battery-heated underwear.

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Woman updates old-fashioned kitchen for just £80 using £5 marble wrap from B&Q

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?80 kitchen transformation (Picture: Gemma)
The marble-effect wrap only cost £5 (Picture: Gemma Evans)

Pre-Christmas is the perfect time to spruce up your place. You’ve scheduled festive drinks with the girls, an early Christmas dinner and the in-laws are sure to pop up (unannounced).

Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most expensive times of the year – so your dream interior overhaul might have to remain a dream.

Or you could do what one thrifty woman did and transform your entire kitchen for less than £80 – and the end result is pretty amazing.

?80 kitchen transformation (Picture: Gemma)
The breakfast bar was second-hand (Picture: Gemma Evans)

Gemma Evans, from Wales, gave her kitchen an impressive modern makeover for a minuscule price and then shared the before and after photos on the Facebook group Mrs Hinch Made Me Do It.

‘Kitchen transformation – completed this week with the help of a three-year-old and supervision of a six-month-old when the kids were asleep,’ she wrote in the post.

‘Just in time to surprise Daddy when he returned home.’

?80 kitchen transformation (Picture: Gemma)
A lick of paint on the cupboard doors finished the job off nicely (Picture: Gemma Evans)

Gemma then explained how she used a £5-per roll marble surface wrap from B&Q and a second-hand breakfast bar she picked up for free to create the new look.

‘The worktop I used for the breakfast bar was free – someone down the road was doing out their kitchen so I had their old worktop,’ she said in the post.

‘I took off each door and handle and it made it soooo much easier!!’

image comp kitchen
People on Facebook loved the look of the new kitchen (Picture: Gemma Evans)

The wrapping on top of the surface really looks like an expensive marble counter – so it’s no wonder that people who commented on Gemma’s post were dying to know more.

‘Did you wrap the entire inside as well? Or does it just about fold over at the sides? And how did you cut the roll to fit the size of your cupboard doors? Just normal scissors? Sorry for all the questions!’ said one.

‘Been wanting to do this after seeing other people’s results on here. Definitely going to do mine now after seeing yours,’ added another.

The mum-of-two was lavished with praise for her creative efforts, with some commending her on her ability to multitask while looking after two little ones.

‘You have some serious skills and creativity!!! It looks amazing! You should have this a little business,’ said one Facebook user.

‘Looks lovely – you have done a brilliant job,’ added another.

So if you’re looking for an affordable hack to update a tired kitchen before Christmas – this could be just the thing.

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Where to buy John Lewis’ Excitable Edgar toy and other merchandise from the Christmas advert

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Where to buy John Lewis' Excitable Edgar toy and other merchandise from the Christmas advert
*sobs into our Edgar cupcakes* (Picture: John Lewis)

Get the Quality Street out and put on repeats of Gavin and Stacey and Only Fools and Horses – Christmas is here.

If you’re wondering why we’re so hyped for the festive season despite the first door on the advent calendar still being closed, it’s because the John Lewis advert is officially now out.

Each year, the John Lewis and Partners Christmas ad signals that mince pies are allowed, and give us just cause to stick our trees up and not be called weirdos.

This year, the star of the show wasn’t a hare or a bear (or a trampolining boxer dog), but Excitable Edgar, a sweet dragon who struggles a bit with his breathing (fire).

Excitable Edgar meets a little girl, Ava, who is eagerly preparing for Christmas along with her family and friends, and gets so buzzed for the festivities that he keeps accidentally breathing fire.

As they get ready for the big day, quite a few things end up going wrong as a result of his uncontrollable flamethrowing.

For example, ice-skating is brought to a standstill when Edgar accidentally melts the ice-rink, and a carefully built snowman is reduced to a puddle and the annual dressing of the village Christmas tree ends in disaster once Edgar is involved.

Worried he will ruin the Christmas festivities even further, Edgar shuts himself away. But his best friend Ava dreams up the ideal way to show Edgar how much she cares about him. She presents him with the perfect gift – a delicious Christmas pudding – which ensures he plays a unique role in the spectacular village feast, lighting up Christmas in his own special way.

How to buy John Lewis Christmas Advert's Excitable Edgar toy and other merchandise
He’s a bit cuddlier than a real dragon (Picture: John Lewis)

No, we’re not crying. We just have brandy butter in our eyes.

Let’s be real, though, there’s always a commercial element to these things. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without people hitting each other over the head for Black Friday televisions.

How to buy John Lewis Christmas Advert's Excitable Edgar toy and other merchandise
Indoor Edgar (Picture: John Lewis)
How to buy John Lewis Christmas Advert's Excitable Edgar toy and other merchandise
Outdoor Edgar (Picture: John Lewis)
How to buy John Lewis Christmas Advert's Excitable Edgar toy and other merchandise
Edible Edgar (Picture: John Lewis)

John Lewis always bring out a range inspired by their now-iconic adverts, and this year is no different. There’s loads of Edgar merch to choose from.

Some things are available at Waitrose, others from John Lewis, and some from both. Here’s what you can get and where:

We think that Excitable Edgar book might make a great addition to a Christmas Eve box – and you could always leave some of the biscuits or cupcakes for ‘Santa’.

If you don’t fancy spending any money (who does at this expensive time of year), you can still get in on the Edgar fun, too.

Snapchat users can give themselves an Edgar-style makeover or see him getting excited in their own world using a bespoke filter, and an Edgar emoji will be available on Twitter until Christmas Day.

We’re sure you won’t ever stop hearing that REO Speedwagon cover song from now until then as a reminder, either.

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My Label and Me: ‘Boring’ people like me can still have fun

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‘You’ve never had a shot before?’

I’m used to this incredulous look – I live in Newcastle, the home of the shot, after all. Thankfully, though, I’m in a bar with some good friends from work, so although it’s awkward for a second, I don’t feel like I need to make excuses. ‘Shots simply aren’t my thing’, I tell them, and then the conversation moves on.

But the next time somebody goes to buy a round, they come back with four shots – and one of them is for me. Heat pricks the back of my neck as I remind them, a little forcefully this time, I don’t do shots. What part of that wasn’t clear?

Bridget Hamilton for Metros My Label and Me
I’ve been called boring hundreds of times throughout my life (Picture: Raoul Dixon / NNP)

This might seem like a perfectly forgettable situation to you, but not for me. It’s a scene that has played out in different bars and clubs and house parties ever since we were trying to get served in the local pub aged 17. Whether alcohol was involved or not, the insinuation was clear: if you didn’t live up to somebody’s idea of ‘fun’, you were labelled ‘square’ or ‘boring’ instead.

I’ve been called boring hundreds of times throughout my life. Alcohol isn’t always involved, but it certainly amplifies things; not being as drunk as other friends, even when you’re out as late as them, even when you’re still drinking alcohol, sets you apart from the group. It marks you as an interloper, somebody that might observe and report on people’s dodgy behaviour, or remember conversations others wanted you to forget.

Bridget Hamilton, from Kent, who is taking part in Metro's My Label and Me feature
I was told to ‘grow up’ when I didn’t want to down the alcopop somebody had shoved in my face (Picture: Raoul Dixon / NNP)

When people notice I don’t drink very much, or that I prefer evenings in to massive nights out, they make all sorts of assumptions. The first thing is that they assume there is some harrowing situation from my past to make me not want to drink (there isn’t). They assume that I’m not a sociable person (I am) or that I don’t have any friends (I do).

I’ve had it all. I was told to ‘grow up’ when I didn’t want to down the alcopop somebody had shoved in my face – at a party I’d actually organised. I was called ‘f*cking depressing’ by a friend because I quite liked the idea of a holiday cottage in the UK rather than a week in Kavos. I’ve been told countless times to ‘live a little’ or ‘let my hair down’, as if I actually hate art galleries and country parks and am secretly wishing someone would come along and save me from myself.

The thing is, ‘boring’ people like me still have friends. And not just other book-reading, coffee-drinking introverts either. One of my best friendships at university was with a certified party animal who would come back from her nights out and eat toast in our communal kitchen, recounting the tales of her evening to me. It worked because we never judged each other. It worked because if I left a night out at 11.30pm rather than 4am, she was happy to sit on the end of my bed the next morning and tell me any gossip I’d missed out on.

You would think leaving university means leaving things like peer pressure behind, but for many people it doesn’t. In some businesses, you are judged not simply on how well you hit targets, but also your stamina on work nights out. Leaving early (or not coming at all due to childcare, caring responsibilities or anything else) is met with boos and thumbs down from your whole team. I’m not saying that being there for your work friends – celebrating their birthdays, their retirement parties or their promotions – isn’t important, but we also need to respect that people are entitled to their own lives, too.

Bridget Hamilton
I’m slowly learning to lock the door at 8pm, put the kettle on, and not give a damn what anybody thinks (Picture: Raoul Dixon / NNP)

We live in a world of high stress and anxiety, where everybody is under pressure to perform, to show their social media following how incredible their lives are. I don’t want young people to feel like they’re missing something if they don’t enjoy what everybody else does. And so although I’m still insecure about being labelled ‘boring’, I’m slowly learning to lock the door at 8pm, put the kettle on, and not give a damn what anybody thinks.

Labels

Labels is an exclusive series that hears from individuals who have been labelled – whether that be by society, a job title, or a diagnosis. Throughout the project, writers will share how having these words ascribed to them shaped their identity  positively or negatively  and what the label means to them.

If you would like to get involved please email jess.austin@metro.co.uk

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