Rundown, dilapidated and dusty aren’t usually terms you’d like attached to your wedding day.

But for Dasha and Taylor Milova Governors Island, an island in its off-season, filled with abandoned buildings and peeling paint, was the perfect destination to tie the knot.

The couple has always loved the little thrill of sneaking into abandoned spots and ruined buildings. So when it came to getting married, holding the ceremony and reception at Admiral’s House on Governors Island just felt right.

‘The thing we loved about Governors Island is that it was unique, close to Manhattan, would provide a really fun experience for our out-of-town guests (which we had a lot of), and was super intimate and private,’ Dasha, who’s originally from St Petersburg, told Metro.co.uk.

‘We loved all of the abandoned spaces that we would be able to access and the idea that no one else has had a full wedding here made it even more special.

‘There have been ceremonies on the Island, but never a full wedding with a reception.

‘Another fun fact – Admiral’s House actually hosted a meeting between Gorbachev and Reagan in 1988, which was an accidental but fun reference to our own Russian and American union.’

Dasha, 28, and Taylor, 30, met back in 2006 at their university orientation but took a while to start properly dating.

They hooked up throughout high school, separated for a few years when Taylor moved to Oregon and returned to date someone Dasha ‘didn’t particularly like’, then finally reunited and fell in love.

‘I love so much about her that it’s really hard to narrow down,’ says Dasha. ‘Taylor is really beautiful inside and out, she’s a great mom, she’s funny, smart and I know she will always be there for my daughter and I.’

Taylor adds: ‘Dasha is by far my better half. She is smart, caring, responsible… very, very responsible and she truly makes sure our life works (and well at that!).

‘Watching Dasha become a mother has been truly remarkable and amazing to watch, I am honoured to be by her side in this journey.’

After a few years of dating, Taylor proposed in their apartment in Brooklyn, surrounded by flowers, candles, and champagne and ready to sing a beautiful song she’d written for the love of her life.

Then, in 2017, it was time for the wedding.

While the couple originally considered a wedding at a faraway destination, they realised they wanted transport to be easy for their friends and family. Going for Governers Island, which provided the same island getaway feel while being just a boat ride from the city, provided the ideal compromise.

Dasha explained: ‘Everyone loved the location – who wouldn’t enjoy a boat ride to an island 5 minutes from Manhattan, then have the island all to yourself and take a boat back with the Manhattan skylight lit up?’

The ceremony took place in the rundown Admiral’s House and once things were official, Dasha and Taylor were eager to pop inside other abandoned buildings on the island to capture some truly incredible photos.

‘The experience [was] nothing short of amazing,’ says Dasha. ‘We have a love for sneaking into abandoned spots that stems from our childhood and teenage years.

‘We’re not the type of people that would care about our outfits getting dusty or going into a space that has no electricity, so we enjoyed every moment of it.’

It started raining as the couple posed in empty old cinemas and vintage bathrooms, giving the photos the dark, moody vibe the couple were after.

There were challenges, of course. There was no functioning kitchen, everything the couple needed had to be brought to the island by ferry, and most of the locations for photos had no power, meaning the photographer, Jake of LOVE + WOLVES CO, had to make do with shining flashlights and flinging open doors.

At a time when no one was around, in places that were in the midst of renovation, the ceremony, reception, and the photoshoot truly were a once in a lifetime experience.

‘Our friends still talk about it to this day,’ Taylor said. ‘The intimacy and location were perfect.

‘It’s not common to get an island in NY all to yourself for one evening.’

MORE: Bride’s murdered dad’s police colleagues step in to fill his shoes on her wedding day

MORE: Bride hitches a lift to her own wedding in a firetruck after her limo gets stuck in traffic

Pour one out for all the London renters about to realise a dog has nicer digs than they do.

Kimberly Lewis, 32, has transformed the space under her stairs into a luxurious dog house for her three-month-old Goldendoodle, Jersey.

It’s pretty incredible – Jersey now has a miniature home with a front door, a mailbox, a play area, and even a special camera through which her owners can remotely dispense treats.

Kimberly, from Houston, Texas, says the makeover cost just $300 (£234), and plans to decorate the mini house according to the season. For now, Jersey has her own Christmas wreath on her front door.

The transformation began with Kimberly and her husband sketching out their plan on the blank wall under the stairs, then cutting out a little door.

They then needed to add electric through the walls so Jersey could have her own light switch, a thermostat, and a camera so Kimberly and her husband could check on the pup throughout the day.

Once the major works were done, it was time for decorating; with Kimberly painting the doorframe, sticking a mailbox on front, and adding in toys, a dog bed, and bowls.

The couple even had a custom artwork made to look just like Jersey.

Kimberly told Femail: ‘It was actually a lot of fun, seeing my dream come to a reality was really neat, the further we got the more excited we became.

‘Thankfully we completed without my husband sleeping in the dog house.’

Thankfully, Jersey absolutely loves her new home.

‘It gave her somewhere to feel safe and comfortable, and she loves the toys on the wall which I change regularly,’ Kimberly explains.

‘We leave the door open unless we are gone, and she just goes in and out of her room as she wishes.

‘I wanted her to have a room just as we all do in our house, she’s part of our family, even the kids love to play inside it with her.’

Anyone else feeling a tad jealous of a dog?

MORE: Mum creates incredible dinosaur bedroom for her son for £280

MORE: Mum transforms Christmas tree into creative new design every year for just £40

MORE: Couple get married and pose for incredible photos in rundown buildings on a deserted island

Prepare to be 100% that festive b*tch. Lizzo, the legend behind feel-good anthem Truth Hurts, has been immortalised in a glorious Christmas jumper.

The festive knit features flutes, juice boxes and strands of DNA to pay homage to the iconic opening line of ‘Truth Hurts. And if you didn’t catch it, there’s also an image of Lizzo herself plus the text: ‘100% dat Christmas B*tch’.

Just think about how many elderly relatives and pop culture shy cousins will ask you what the heck that’s about over Christmas dinner. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

The jumper comes from London-based social enterprise notjust, which has raised more than £30,000 for charity since 2017 with its David Attenbrr! Christmas jumpers.

When purchasing the Dat Christmas B*tch item for £39.99, shoppers can donate 10% of their purchase to a charity of their choosing. Organisations to support include Equality Now, The Big Issue, MIND, and Kicking Off.

Notjust has also partnered with Save the Children to create a collection of knits featuring Peaky Blinders, Stranger Things, and Dua Lipa.

For all the Phoebe Waller-Bridge die-hards, there’s even a Fleabag jumper set to ease the pain of spending Christmas with your evil stepmum/godmum, or spending it without the priest that won’t quit the parish for you.

Notjust aims to make‘the world better with a sweater’ with donations from sales being used to reach a donation goal of £50,000 for Save the Children.

‘All money raised could help give a child living in a refugee camp clothes to keep them warm through winter, help buy nutritious food for their entire family, or set up a safe space to give children the chance to be children again,’ said Sarah Button-Stephens, campaign manager for Christmas Jumper Day.

‘It could also help bring essentials like healthcare, education, protection, and food to the millions of children around the world who are missing out on the most basic support.’

The unisex jumpers range from £32.99-£39.99 and are available in sizes from XS-XXL.

Shoppers can rest assured every knit is crafted sustainably under ethical working conditions. The jumpers are made to survive winter after winter, with each knit taking 45 minutes to weave the front and back sections by expert craftspeople.

You can also get your best Christmas knits ready for Save the Children’s eighth Christmas Jumper Day on Friday 13 December.

Since 2012, Christmas Jumper Day has raised £21 million for the charity which operates in 120 countries to provide healthcare, food, water, and education to children in need.

5 million people across the UK are set to take part this year. You can sign up and donate at www.christmasjumperday.org.

MORE: Couple get married and pose for incredible photos in rundown buildings on a deserted island

MORE: Your essential oil diffuser could be poisoning your cat or dog

MORE: Jeffree Star apologises for ‘hairs’ in Shane Dawson Conspiracy palette as final episode of series drops

‘We get two million visitors every month. That’s 379 (and a half) Royal Albert Halls full of potential flatmates waiting to meet you,’ the SpareRoom.co.uk website reads.

As if I needed more reasons to believe that flat hunting was a sad, one-woman pantomime being performed to crowds of strangers. Strangers who weren’t ‘waiting’ to meet me, but forced to.

Forced to because their current flatmate is moving in with their partner of three months, or returning home to Leeds because they can’t pull a pint to save their life. Or pay their rent.

Flat hunting is a spectacle. It’s loaded with rejection, unkempt living spaces, and panic over whether the all-male flat you’re walking into is a trap. Let’s re-brand here and give flat hunting the name it deserves: funting.

Believe it or not, I’ve been one of the lucky ones. In May, I did the antipodean thing and moved from Australia with a Tier-5 visa and bag full of dreams/seasonally inappropriate clothes. I stayed with my brother and his wife, which meant I could take my time finding the right flat. It also meant I saw a range of flats, from semi-habitable to rat cellar.

If it’s your first time looking for a flat in London, allow me to guide you.

Demystify the listings

Many SpareRoom users are trained in the art of the creative sell. It’s a skill that isn’t learned from a tertiary degree, but one forged out of sheer millennial desperation. If you’ve witnessed a bloke embellish his height on a dating app, you’ll know what I mean.

A glossary of SpareRoom terms:

• ‘Great transport links’: the nearest station is a 25-minute walk. In the Spare Room world, if it’s ‘5 minutes’ to the station, you double it.
• ‘Up-and-coming area’: the flat has been broken into twice… this year.
• ‘Light-filled’, bright’ and ‘airy’: expect an hour of sun at midday through the slim window used to fumigate the loo.

I found that 95% of London listings on SpareRoom were described as ‘bright’. This is because of two reasons.

The youths adore a good selfie window to perch by. It helps blast out early facial signs of liver failure caused by five consecutive nights of cheap shots. It’s the only way we can create original material to use in other personal marketing ventures (like Hinge).

Brightness is also conducive to growing houseplants, which brings me to my next point. Some renters know how to style interior spaces and edit pictures.

Train yourself to detect pixel fraud with the eye of a tween looking for a suspiciously-cinched waist in a Kardashian mirror selfie. Learn to distinguish whether the room is habitable or whether you’re dazzled by the 50-odd plants filling the space.

Dress up or down

Dressing for a meeting with your future flatmates is tricky. You don’t want to look so fly that one of them will be tempted to sh*t where they sleep and end up liking you, nor do you want them to believe you’d be romantic competition.

Appear non-threatening, but not slovenly. You don’t want them thinking you’ll be a slob in their three-bedroom-no-living-room haven.

Embrace the magical mystery tour

You’ve finished sweating over your crumb-filled laptop, you’re done with reading the word ‘houseshare’ so many times that it mutates to ‘horseshare’ in your mind. You’re hitting those streets.

Use funting as an opportunity to learn about your new city. Whether it’s by discovering the areas you’d never like to return to, or finding local gems through the recommendations of potential housemates who want you to believe that by spending £900 a month, you’re getting the lifestyle deal of the century.

Observe London life at all levels. During my weeks of searching, I had the fortune of spotting a beautiful woman on a second pity date with a Tinder match and a rat slashing open a garbage bag. Breathe it in, newbie.

Find the selling point

After a month of searching, you might think you’ve found the flat. It’s not the residence that you like, but what it represents. Perhaps it’s close to a supermarket that stocks 12 different kinds of kombucha. Does the dampness of your bedroom really matter if there’s a nearby health food shop with ‘bio-enzyme’ products and a basement-level ‘healing centre’?

Settle, already!

You’ve secured a flat. Congratulations! Perhaps it wasn’t your first choice or your tenth, but it’s the first flat where the flatmates couldn’t find anyone more interesting to take the room.

You might not be able to walk more than half a step from your bed to the door, but all you have to do is crawl onto your mattress, shift into the fetal position and chant ‘location, location, location’ as your eyes roll back into the head that’s already numb from all the welcome drinks you enjoyed (alone) last night.

Onto the next

You’ve put up with the flat for a few weeks, or even months. Your friends and family back home are concerned about you. Hang in there fella.

I lasted one month in my first London flat. My flatmate clogged the shower drains with hair so thick I had to sign up to free gym trials every week just to bathe. But what about the selling point? Sadly, not even the nearby 24-hour bagel shops or hip vintage markets could prevent my imminent departure.

Fortunately, the next flat was a winner. It was in an area with green spaces and a park-facing view that meant I could breathe in the autumn air while watching people punish themselves in an early morning military bootcamp sesh. Sure, the building had a minor rodent issue, but hey, it’s not London without a fistful of mice.

If you’re still struggling to find your flat, remember that your first one is just a starter marriage. Like the union of Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson, Andre Agassi and Brooke Shields and perhaps even your divorced parents, number one might not be it, but the second (or third, or fourth) could be forever.

MORE: Abbey Wood tops the list of the cheapest areas to rent a flatshare in London

MORE: Yet another crazy room for rent in London – this one’s a cupboard under the stairs for £500 a month

MORE: Postcard collection shows how different London looked in the 1960s

It’s a question that has plagued us for many winters: How on earth are all those stylish people tucking massive jumpers into their skirts without looking like they have a lumpy butt?

The good news is that we’re not alone in this wondering. The better news is that finally, a fashion blogger has revealed the truth.

Let us explain.

Earlier this week BuzzFeed writer Sam Reece tweeted: ‘Hey boss sorry I’m 3 hours late I was trying to figure out how influencers tuck giant sweaters into tiny skirts.’

Clearly people ~related~ to this important query, as that tweet was retweeted over 24,000 times.

Hey boss sorry I’m 3 hours late I was trying to figure out how influencers tuck giant sweaters into tiny skirts

— Sam Reece (@SamanthaaaReece) November 18, 2019

It turns out that influencers and other stylish types don’t own magical skirts that make knitwear disappear – there’s a simple way to cheat your way to making a jumper look like it’s tucked into a skirt.

You can even use the trick when wearing a jumper over a dress, to make it look like you’re actually wearing a skirt. Such deception.

Fashion blogger Jess With Less revealed that she does a faux-tuck, using a skinny belt and pulling the jumper almost all the way through it to make it fold up and stay in place.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5ItPHyHiA-/

The video guide is at the top of this article, but if you prefer to read instructions rather than watching them, here are the steps:

1. Find a thin belt that it a similar color to the jumper you want to ‘tuck’
2. Put on the belt around your waist, at the same height as you want the sweater to look as though it’s been tucked in
3. Tighten the belt over your knit – ensuring you still have room to breathe
4. Pull up the jumper under the belt so that just an inch or so of fabric remains below the belt
5. Fold the rest of the jumper over the top of the belt to conceal it

FYI, Sam Reece has said she doesn’t approve of this method, because ‘belts are dumb’. Fair.

So if you want a different technique, your best bet is not tucking in all of your jumper all the way around.

Try just tucking in the very bottom of your jumper right in the centre of your waist, allowing the jumper to fold to look tucked with the rest hanging loose. This will provide a little definition without requiring a load of fabric lying flat under another bit of fabric.

You could also just get a cropped jumper. Just saying.

MORE: Thrill the grinch in your life with this Lizzo Christmas jumper

MORE: Woman turns the space under her stairs into a luxury dog house

MORE: Couple get married and pose for incredible photos in rundown buildings on a deserted island

Perhaps you left work early when Morrisons rolled out 1kg jars of Nutella in August. Maybe you even drizzled the spread over your hair because a hairdresser on the net said it would add shine.

No matter how many Nutella-related quests you’ve carried out, we bet it doesn’t come close to this one.

In early 2020, an official Nutella hotel is opening in the US. Hotella Nutella (of course) will be a pop-up getaway experience offered on the weekend of January 10-12.

It’s set to open in Napa Valley, the world-renowned Californian wine region where Kris Jenner once got absurdly drunk and where Netflix comedy Wine Country was set.

For those who favour toned-down, minimalist interiors to relax, Hotella Nutella might not be your first choice. As you can see, it resembles one of the chambers of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, minus the horrific child injuries and disappearances.

Considering most Nutella-lovers are into excess – spooning the spread right out of the jar, and what have you – we’d imagine the lodgings are perfectly to their taste.

During the stay, guests will get to enjoy massive Nutella jars and themed décor including alarm clocks, furniture and bedding including fluffy croissant pillows.

Iron Chef’s Geoffrey Zakarian will serve up Nutella-based meals for dinner, while professional chef Tanya Holland will create a Southern-style savoury brunch using a little spread we like to call… Nutella.

‘Hotella Nutella reimagines the joy of the hotel stay with a special breakfast experience that allows fans to enjoy Nutella in new and different ways,’ Todd Midura, vice president of marketing at Ferrero, said in a statement.

To wrap up the weekend, pancake art team Dancakes will create mesmerising pancake portraits using edible batter and possibly a certain choc-hazelnut spread.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5IkVeKnIKd/

Curiously enough, entry to Hotella Nutella is a bit of a Willy Wonka kind of deal, with the accommodation available to just three people and their guests.

Unfortunately, the competition is only open to US residents. If you fit the bill, record a one-minute video showing how Nutella ‘makes your morning special’ and submit it at www.HotellaNutella.com. Applications close on Sunday 8 December 2019.

MORE: Man who built giant advent calendar for his wife starts business after internet fame

MORE: Woman turns the space under her stairs into a luxury dog house

MORE: Couple get married and pose for incredible photos in rundown buildings on a deserted island

‘In Switzerland we know how to make watches. We also know how to stop time,’ reads the giant poster in the lobby.

I’m at Victoria-Jungfrau Grand Hotel and Spa in Interlaken to sample their Better Aging program and find out if you really can stop the clock and stay looking young… or if such ideas are just cuckoo.

The area certainly has a feel of youthful exuberance about it – when I arrive I’m greeted by paragliders, their colourful canopies drifting down onto the green across from the hotel. During my stay, not a day goes by without seeing the red and yellow wings in death-defying loops.

I can watch them from my room – a smart black, brown and gold chamber housing a hard double bed with two single duvets, the traditional Swiss arrangement presumably designed to prevent greedy partners from hogging the covers. Every evening there’s a Swiss truffle on my pillow.

The balcony looks out towards the Bernese Alps and the snowy peaks of Jungfrau, which means ‘young woman’ or maiden. The setting of my anti-ageing quest really couldn’t be better.

My journey begins at Nescens Spa, a bright space with lots of natural light, candles and trailing plants.

Spa director Hans-Peter notes down my vitals and bids me stand on a body analysis machine before I’m whisked off to a room with personal trainer Brigitte, an intimidatingly fit-looking 49-year-old with a blonde crop.

It’s not all bad news – I have more muscle than her – but I have a lot of body fat (not exactly news to me). She tells me my visceral fat is of particular concern and, among other things, advises me to avoid fruit with a high sugar content such as pineapple and grapes.

The next step is easier to take – a de-stressing massage using anti-ageing Nescens oil. This should smoothe the skin and boost cell recapitalisation. The massage is gentler than others I’ve had, and quite relaxing, but I can’t say my skin looked different afterwards.

The spa does boast outstanding relaxation areas, however. Comfortable couches with mountain views, a smart sauna and the apex of steam rooms with twinkly lights in its starry ceiling, a fountain in middle and a gentle mint scent wafting through the air.

The next morning we come at the ageing issue via exercise with a morning of gentle Pilates. It’s run by another uber-fit blonde, Iris.

Then it’s time for a Better Aging lunch – beetroot, goat’s cheese and orange salad followed by a delicious sea bream with basillicum and vegetables.

Usually guests on the programme stay for at least four days, during which time meals are matched to help them achieve their fitness goals – but this can’t be easy with a pizzeria, Sapori, as part of the hotel.

The afternoon is dedicated to more exercise – a brisk 5km walk with Iris again, through woodland and along the river, emerald with glacier water.

I have the highest hopes for today’s anti-ageing treatment – a classic silk bliss facial using Sensai products.

My beautician, Nicole, explains how the silk in the range was previously reserved for the Emperor of Japan. Apparently the products can activate your stem cells to help remove wrinkles.

The facial begins with Sensai Silky Purifying Creamy Soap followed by a steamer to open the pores, and some seriously thorough extraction work.

Next came the Silky Purifying Silk Peeling Mask and a mud soap wash and mask, left for six minutes. Finally came four more serums and creams.

My skin looked blotchy but felt very soft afterwards – like a velvety cushion. The blotchiness was gone within half an hour, replaced with a glow. The next morning I could feel a spot coming on my neck but my face was plump, smooth and even.

The next day, after a Better Aging breakfast of light bites including tomatos, olives and smoothies, I’m back with Brigitte for Nescens Full Body Training. I’m cheered by the sight of some pensioners in the class. How hard can it be?

Quite hard, is the answer – a full-on but not unbearable 45 minutes of planks, sit ups, star jumps and stretching giant blue elastic bands.

Afterwards I reward myself with a swim in the stunning pool. The main spa has a white, black and gold theme and incredible views.

It also has a lovely outdoor jacuzzi which you swim out to, with bubble beds, jets to massage your feet and back, and a clearer look at the mountains.

At the end of my trip I was more relaxed, my skin felt smoother and I felt fitter. While I may not look younger, as someone approaching 40 I’m certainly less stressed about ageing.

Where to stay and how to get there:

Where to stay in Switzerland

Rooms at Victoria-Jungfrau Grand Hotel and Spa cost from £296 per night, with breakfast. Better Aging guests get a 50 per cent discount in high season and 25 per cent discount in low season.

The Better Aging program lasts from four days and costs from £2,499 per person, which includes treatments, personal training and meals.

I flew with Swiss Air from Heathrow to Zürich. Flights cost from £177 return.

To get to the spa I took the train from Zürich airport to Interlaken OST via Bern. Return tickets cost from £116 via Switzerland Tourism. The hotel was about five minutes from the station by taxi.

A Swiss Travel Pass offers unlimited travel throughout the rail, bus and boat network. It includes entrance to 500 museums and costs from £185.

For more on Switzerland visit www.MySwitzerland.com.

Where to stay in Heathrow

I stayed at the Radisson Blu Edwardian Heathrow – a decadent way to extend the spa experience.

The lobby features an impressive chandelier and there’s dark wood and bronzes throughout.

The hotel’s spa has just had a revamp, and has a relaxation area, cosy sauna, powerful jacuzzi and beautiful blue and gold steam room.

I loved the showers you use between each part of the spa. I’m sure they would delight fellow Pratchett fans, bringing to mind the Archchancellor’s bathroom as they do. There were buttons for cold mist, Caribbean storm and waterfall (but thankfully no Old Faithful).

I also tried their chocolate orange massage – a thorough, full body treatment. I wasn’t overpowered by scent and only really noticed the mild smell of cocoa when it was applied to my chest. It left me feeling refreshed and smelling sweet.

The hotel has two places to dine, Indian restaurant Anayu and Steak and Lobster. My T-bone steak was pleasant, although the blue cheese sauce was a bit bland, while the skinny fries were deliciously seasoned.

I enjoyed chatting to Radisson’s virtual host, Edward. You can text him anything 24/7 – order room service, ask for late checkout and enquire about hotel services. It was like having my own PA.

Rooms at Radisson Blu Edwardian cost from £76.50 per night. They are offering Stay, Park and Fly packages from £102.50 per night, including parking for trips for eight to 15 days.

The way we speak about dating is changing – if you ask your parents if they know what ghosting is they’re likely to refer you to Derek Acorah or Yvette Fielding.

It might seem like the landscape of love is changing for the worse, but in reality we’re just more inventive at defining the crushing blows that are part and parcel of trying to get someone to fancy you and/or have sex with you.

There were always dumpings, there were always fights over the bill, and there were always moments where you got too drunk out of nervousness and ended up throwing up on your date (or was that just me?).

Nowadays, however, we like to give things punchy names to soften the blows. And the people at dating site Plenty of Fish have compiled a handy little list of the ones we’ll need to know in the new year.

Nice to know how we’ll be getting hurt, you know? Forewarning is forearming.

Fleabagging

A la PWB, this trend relates to consistently dating people that are wrong for you.

According to Plenty of Fish, it’s more common with women, with 63% admitting to Fleabagging compared to just 38% of men.

Perhaps there is truth in the old adage that women love bad boys. Or at least just bad for them boys?

Dial Toning

Different to ghosting, this is when someone gives you their number to text them but when you do, you never hear back.

Ghosting requires there to have been some sort of textual contact previously, whereas this can be the result of an IRL chance meeting.

You might have thought you’d be home and dry because they gave you their number, but alas they’ve woken up in the morning and decided they fancied you more under the sodium light of the street outside the chicken shop.

Cause-playing

47% of singles have experienced this phenomenon, with singles in their early 40s are the most guilty of doing it.

It refers to getting back in touch with an ex after you’ve broken up to ask for a favour, usually something charity-related like donating to your just giving page.

If you’ve ever had ‘hey, I’m playing a gig/running a marathon/doing a stand-up show, could you come along/donate?’ then you’ve probably been victim.

Eclipsing

We’ve all seen it; when our friend gets a new partner and suddenly takes up a new-found interest in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or watching Rick and Morty.

‘You’ve never been into that before,’ you say, and they shrug and look at their new beau’s Pickle Rick t-shirt with a fondness that makes you uncomfortable.

Eclipsing is when someone starts adopting the same interests and hobbies as the person they are dating. Hopefully it’s something more wholesome, like baking or donating money to their long-suffering pals.

Exoskeleton-ing

When the ex of your current partner keeps reaching out to you, this is known as exoskeleton-ing.

Over a fifth of singles (22%) have had their partner’s ex come to haunt them via social media or other means but only 6% of singles admit to having being this ex themselves. Who’s lying?

Yellow Carding

This one is actually a good thing. It’s when you call someone out for their poor dating etiquette (potentially doing anything else on this list).

Red carding would mean you dump them altogether, which is potentially a better option, but we’ll stay out of it.

Glamboozled

Getting fully done up for a date, only to have your plans fall through at the last minute is the worst. You’ve just been glamboozled.

A troubling 54% of daters have experienced this. Just think of all the wasted foundation and eyeshadow. A sin.

On the upside, you can always just call your mates and waste your makeup by sweating it off in the club instead.

Typecasting

Exclusively dating people based on Myers-Briggs Type or ‘Love Language’ compatibility is typecasting.

Perhaps you might also have the phrase ‘no geminis’ on your dating profile, which would make you a typecaster – and correct.

Doesn’t extend to politely telling potential flatmates that they might not be a great fit as they’re a Tory.

MORE: Live out your choc-hazelnut fantasies at the new Nutella hotel

MORE: Fashion blogger reveals simple hack to faux-tuck chunky jumpers into skirts

If you’ve been on Twitter or TikTok recently, you’ve probably been puzzled by some people doing a magical hand trick.

19-year-old Tori Pareno has just gone viral for her mind-boggling hand swap illusion.

In a video with 6 million views on Twitter, it appears as if the Filipino teen is pushing her fingers through her hands. How the heck does she do it?!

Her Twitter followers have rapidly climbed since sharing the trick on Thursday, with the teen saying: ‘y’all have hand fetishes if 1 million of you watched this.’ And perhaps this is true.

here’s something trippy for your night lol pic.twitter.com/lkcX25mgri

— LG Tori Pareno (@ToriPareno) November 21, 2019

A variation of the challenge first surfaced in August 2018 when Twitter user @kay_dera posted a video of her performing a similar hand movement. It was viewed 3.5 million times, and gained a bit of traction across social media as ‘the hand swap challenge’.

This new incarnation has come about because of TikTok, where Tori also shared it with her 32,000 followers.

People are referring to the trick as ‘sorcery’ and ‘witchcraft’. Some users have pointed out that ‘You need mad skinny hands to be able to do this’, which, in a way, certainly helps.

Nonetheless, many TikTok users have shared videos of themselves giving the trick a go. And one Twitter user delivers his own rendition using hypnotising LED gloves:

i did ur thing but with LED gloves :^) pic.twitter.com/yh1jGlEXp9

— 💡 The Lightshow Hashira 💡 (@JomarriSalomon) November 22, 2019

Here’s how to do it:

Metro.co.uk’s Aidan Milan is here to show you how it’s done. Watch carefully.

1. Put your right hand in front of you, palm facing forward, and place your left hand behind it
2. Close the fingers of your left hand over the back of your right, poking your left fingers through your right fingers
3. Let go of the front hand, and straighten the back hand while the front hand forms a fist. Repeat.
4. Practice doing these movements quickly. Speed is key to making it look trippy.
5. Look utterly impressed with your mad skillz.

MORE: Live out your choc-hazelnut fantasies at the new Nutella hotel

MORE: Fashion blogger reveals simple hack to faux-tuck chunky jumpers into skirts

MORE: Thrill the grinch in your life with this Lizzo Christmas jumper

It’s Saturday, and if you’re lucky enough to not be working, you’re likely in a pub.

Am I envious? Of course not. I love staring at a screen and adjusting my desk chair while the rest of you are getting rounds in.

Anyway. If the pub-going people among us are in need of a team mascot, might we suggest Eli, a delightful ginger cat who absolutely loves going to his local.

Eli regularly attends the Brewdog near his home in Liverpool, heading down to enjoy a glass of lactose-free milk with his best drinking buddy (and owner), veterinary student Molly.

Molly often takes Eli out on a lead, and when she heard that Brewdog allowed pets, she decided to bring her kitty down.

Turns out he loved the place, and now turns up all the time.

Being a cat in a place where cats usually do not hang out, Eli gets quite a lot of attention when he goes for a drink.

Thankfully he loves all the fuss, happily snuggling up on a chair and accepting treats from other pub-goers.

Molly said: ‘He always gets a lot of attention when he goes out.

‘Everyone always gets so excited when they see a cat on the end of a lead.

‘Most people see the lead and assume it’s a dog. It’s great to watch their faces when they realise it’s a cat.

‘I’ll invite them to come over and say hello and they get so excited.

‘Luckily Eli loves the attention – I think he’s the most sociable cat ever.

‘He hasn’t let the attention go to his head though.’

Eli is such a regular that he’s gained some fame, with hundreds of followers on his Instagram (where he does more than just lounge around the pub, FYI).

He recently turned up at the vets for a procedure and was recognised by a member of staff.

Molly, who is living in Liverpool while studying veterinary medicine, adopted Eli when he was eight weeks old.

Knowing the risks of letting him out and about in a busy city, she decided Eli would be an indoor cat, and started taking him for walks on a harness and lead so he could get plenty of exercise.

They started out adventuring in the countryside, but when Molly headed into the city she began taking her ginger pal out to local spots.

His first trip to a bar happened when Molly had been planning to meet some student friends for a few drinks and hadn’t wanted to leave the cat at home by himself.

She brought him along, he loved the atmosphere, and since then they often head to Brewdog to crack open a cold one.

‘Eli’s so used to going out, he loves it,’ says Molly.

‘Whenever I get his lead, he gets excited, almost like a dog, and runs to the front door.

‘He’s one of a kind and definitely enjoys coming with us to pubs and bars as he can sit and survey the room.

‘I knew Brewdog was pet-friendly, so I didn’t think twice taking him in there.

‘He had to get used to all the different sights and sounds, but as soon as he learned where they were coming from he wasn’t fazed.

‘I don’t think anyone else in the pub expected a cat to turn up though.

‘The staff are great, they even have lactose free milk behind the bar, so he can have a little drink with me.’

MORE: This viral optical illusion hand trick is being called ‘sorcery’ – here’s how to do it

MORE: These are the dating terms you need to know for 2020 – from Fleabagging to Cause-Playing

MORE: Live out your choc-hazelnut fantasies at the new Nutella hotel

When it comes to buying Christmas gifts for new mums, choosing the perfect present can be hard. You want to buy for the new baby, but you also want to buy for the mother too – without filling her drawers with new sleepsuits and dummies (even though they always come in handy).

So just to make your life that little bit easier, we’ve put together a Christmas gift guide for new mums, to make their festive day just as special as their new baby’s.

Take a look below at all of these lovely new mother themed gift ideas.

1. Mum and baby matching pyjamas, £60, Pjmamma

When you’ve just had a baby, loungewear and comfy pjs are your go-to – and what’s cuter than matching with your baby?

These pyjamas have been designed by a mum, who uses 100% organic cotton to make super comfortable clothing.

2. Teddy fleece pyjamas, £9.74, Boohoo

If you’re looking for something cheaper, you could buy the new mum in your life some teddy fleece pyjamas. They’re super comfortable and roomy and they’ll keep her warm during Christmas and New Year.

3. New baby gift basket, £53.60, Regency Hampers

Coming in a variety of colours, these gift baskets are great for new mums needing some extra baby bits.

This basket includes lavender bubble bath, a rubber duck, baby booties, a plush toy, a rattle, a heart-shaped rustic wooden gift plaque, a sleepsuit and more.

4. Baby Keepsake Book, £36, NotOnTheHighstreet

These little books are such a sweet idea for a new mum. The mum can record their baby’s first step, word, tooth, haircut, and birthday with a cute journal.

It also includes space for photos from pre-birth to pre-school.

It features a linen hard cover and cause bound with an embossed title and spine. It also comes with guided journal prompts, illustrated end papers and a contents page with page numbers.

5. The ‘Little Postnatal Box’, £32, Themotherbox

This box has been made to support mums after birth. It’s perfect for any new mum or as a baby shower present.

It includes a booklet filled with tips to support mum, a packet of postpartum healing bath salts, a postnatal tea blent, a pack of ‘Yesmum’ cards and a ‘lactation’ flapjack made with traditional ingredients to support the milk supply.

6. 3-in-1 breast therapy pack, £12.99, John Lewis

Let’s face it, after birth, your boobs hurt – breastfeeding or not. This little gift is perfect for any new mum struggling. It features two reusable treatment packs and covers that can be used hot or cold, and features a pearl design which moulds onto the breast to provide relief.

The cold therapy relieves engorgement, the hot therapy relieves mastitis and plugged ducts and the warm therapy can be used as a breast pump aid to reduce the time spent pumping.

7. Amazing mum mug, £7, John Lewis

Every mum needs one of these! Perfect for a stocking filler or as a small present, this cheap mug will go down a treat – and we’re sure it’ll be used every single day.

8. ‘My First’ frame, £10.20, Mothercare

This sweet frame is a perfect little gift. New mums can’t stop taking photos of their gorgeous babies, and so you can never have enough frames around. And this resin frame, which features little sheep and ducks, is the perfect addition to any new mum’s home.

9. Deluxe large impression kit, £23.40, Mothercare

This is one of those gifts that no mum thinks to buy but every mum wants. It’s to make an impression of the baby’s hand or footprint in a soft clay, which can be preserved forever in the wooden frame next to a photo of the baby.

It features a soft clay to make the impression and the wall mount display frame, all for under £25.

10. Wine, pate and cheese gift basket, £35, Hay Hampers

Now this is a great idea. For obvious reasons: Because it involves wine, something a new mum hasn’t drunk for over nine months.

It also includes soft cheese and pate – two things that are also on the banned list when it comes to pregnancy foods.

Any mum will be happy to get stuck into these things she’s been missing out on for so long (unless she absolutely hates all three, of course).

11. ‘Mum’s Me Time’ pamper set, £20, NotOnTheHighstreet

Give the new mum in your life a little me time with this pamper set.

It contains a natural wax scented candle, two hand rolled bath truffles – one lavender and one rose geranium – and a relaxing tea blend.

Perfect for a couple of hours in the bath and on the sofa with a nice book or her favourite movie.

12. Breakfast in bed tray, £18.50, Not Another Bunch of Flowers

This is a nice idea for any partners who want to give the mother of their child a nice breakfast in the morning.

Available in either pink or green, the tray reads: ‘Breakfast in bed for the best mum in the world’.

13. Personalised new mummy glass token, £13.49, Getting Personal

This is a nice little keepsake for any new mum.

Featuring the words ‘New Mummy’ next to a footprint, underneath you can personalise the glass to read the name of the baby and the date of their birth.

MORE: 38 best last-minute Christmas gifts for her to suit every budget

MORE: Christmas gifts for the guy or girl who already has everything

Many of our purchasing decisions in 2019 are dominated by the use of a simple Google search.

If it comes up first and appears to have what we need, then why go elsewhere?

But all products aren’t created equal, and this is never more true when we’re talking about finance products – particularly loans.

There’s no loan that’s inherently ‘good’ or ‘bad’, more that there are some out there that will be more suited to your circumstances than others.

You might hear a lot of talk about ‘short-term high-cost loans’ or ‘payday loans’ as a bad option, and that’s sometimes the case, but not always.

Essentially, you should always check to see if a loan is right for you using the following factors:

MSE money mantra

Before you ‘buy’ anything (and remember, a loan is a product you buy and not ‘free money’), this money mantra from MoneySavingExpert is genuinely a godsend.

If you’re skint, you ask yourself:

• Do I need it?
• Can I afford it?

If you’re not skint, ask yourself?

• Will I use it?
• Is it worth it?

You might be getting a loan for a number of reasons.

Perhaps it’s because you’re short on cash for living expenses. But do you really need a loan, or is there money in savings or that could be borrowed from family or friends for cheaper?

If it’s for a product like a car or home improvements, do you really to take out a loan, or could you buy something cheaper or make improvements gradually?

There will be times when the answer is yes to these questions, but it’s important to ensure you’re making the right decision in taking out any form of credit before you do so.

Good and bad debt

We’ve spoken before about ‘good’ and ‘bad debt’ – in particular looking at mortgages.

Although all debt is technically debt, some is considered better than others if it increases your overall wealth.

Is the loan, like a mortgage or student loan, actually going to make you money in the long-run? Or, like how a car depreciates once it leaves the forecourt, is it going to lose you money long-term.

That’s not to say you should never take out debt that won’t directly make you wealthier. For example, although that car will be worth less by the end of your repayments, it might be an essential to get you to work each day or take your children to school.

But, it puts things in perspective when it comes to whether your loan is a good one for you. Could you, instead of financing a new car, opt for a used model that’ll cost you less and help balance the books more?

Interest

Interest is one of the main things you should look at when taking out a loan. This is the extra you’ll pay back as a sort of ‘cost of borrowing’.

Typically, when it comes to a loan, you’ll see this written as APR, which means annual percentage rate.

So, if you borrowed £1,000 over the course of a year with 10% APR, you’ll pay back £1,100 in total (which includes the principal cost of the loan and the added interest they charge).

This can become more complicated when it comes to shorter term loans, and it’s why you might see might higher APRs on payday loans. They’re still an expensive way to borrow, but if the APR is 1,000%, you won’t necessarily pay back 1000x what you borrowed, as you might pay the full amount back within 30 days.

In general, the lower interest rate, the better. But, it must be factored into how long it takes to pay it back, and assessed as the overall cost of borrowing rather than just a standalone number.

Repayment time

As mentioned, take a look at how long you’ll pay back the loan. Some might need the money immediately but be able to pay it back sooner, so for them it won’t make sense to repay over the course of a number of years.

Others are looking to split the cost of a large purchase, in which case small repayments over time is the ideal solution.

It’s absolutely about how the repayment time affects the cost of the loan, but also about deciding whether it suits your needs and budget/income.

Penalties for early repayment

Some loan companies will have penalties in place for early repayment.

This can be bad for people who come into money further down the line and want to close the account, or those who’d prefer a bit of flexibility.

Check the terms and conditions of the loan beforehand to see if this is the case.

Eligibility

A loan can have a tiny interest rate and be as flexible as you like, but if you’re not the ‘right’ customer for that lender, you won’t be accepted.

Some companies will let you check whether you’re eligible before you actually apply (this is normally a soft search, which shouldn’t affect your credit rating), which can make things less daunting.

Secured or unsecured

An unsecured loan is one that isn’t subject to any collateral – for example property. A secured one is, so if you fail to pay back the money, the lender can seize your goods as a form of payment.

Neither of these makes a loan good or bad, because there’s always something at stake (most notably, your credit rating and financial future).

However, secured loans tend to have lower interest rates and higher credit limits, so they make more sense for loans like mortgages or car finance.

Unsecured loans on the other hand might be better for people who don’t have assets such as that – for example, those who are renting and don’t own high-value items.

Guarantors

To increase your chances of eligibility by removing risk, some lenders will ask for a guarantor.

This is a person who will co-sign your loan, agreeing to pay it back if you fail to do so.

While guarantor loans are billed as a lower interest option for people who need payday-style borrowing, it’s not for everyone.

For one, your guarantor may have to meet certain criteria such as being a homeowner. There also could be personal ramifications if a family member or friend is left paying off debt you couldn’t.

Think carefully before asking someone to guarantor a loan, and ensure they understand the process before they sign on the dotted line.

Reviews

Like any other product, loan companies also have online reviews.

Companies like Feefo compile reviews from real customers, asking them about how they’d rate the service they received. From there, you can check and see whether things are legit, and whether they’re the right lender for you.

To determine a good loan requires looking at a whole host of factors, but whether it’s from a good lender or not can only be found out through how they’ve treated past customers.

MORE: Thrill the grinch in your life with this Lizzo Christmas jumper

MORE: Woman turns the space under her stairs into a luxury dog house

I started swimming at a very early age and if I’m totally honest, I hated it at first. Neither of my parents are strong swimmers, so they put me into lessons.

But it wasn’t long until I began to love the water and was always playing and messing around in it when I should have been paying attention to the instructor.

During my school years though, people always used to say to me ‘black people don’t swim’. Yet here I was, a black man who loved swimming. I quite liked the fact that I was different and was doing something that many people didn’t understand or really even think possible.

Competitive swimming and sport has been a huge part of my life for the past 15 years, but through that time I’ve struggled and worried about how my sexuality would be perceived when I started representing my country (Team GB until 2016 and since then, Jamaica) on the world stage. Because of this, I suppressed my feelings for a long time and wasn’t open about who I was.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B3o6oh3louR/

It wasn’t until I decided to take time away from sport last summer to really find myself and go through my own journey in addressing, accepting and being open about my sexuality. I ended up taking part in the E! Reality series The Bi Life and it was a transformative experience.

Although it was daunting to come out on television, I have no regrets. Being in that villa of like-minded people who understood what it’s like to feel different was exactly what I needed. 

I didn’t really grow up with many LGBTQ role models – especially in sport – so there wasn’t much out there to help me learn about who I was and feel OK in my own skin. Particularly as a black gay sportsman, I didn’t see anyone who looked like me being open about who they are and who they love.

Seeing yourself reflected in someone else and their experience can be such a powerful, personal affirmation, but for so long I was lacking that. Still, I also never imagined that my ‘coming out’ story on the show would have sparked so many discussions within the LGBTQ sporting community.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwPt8z5FO–/

Many of these discussions are still ongoing because sport is still a place where many LGBTQ people don’t feel welcome, or they actually feel excluded. Stonewall research found that four in 10 LGBTQ people (43 per cent) think public sporting events aren’t welcoming for them.

Some may find this shocking, some may think it’s not surprising at all, but I think it shows why it’s so important we keep conversations going about sexuality, gender identity and sport. 

When I came out, everyone reacted better than I could have ever imagined. This past year, I’ve travelled to Australia, Switzerland, South Korea and Puerto Rico for international swimming competitions and I’ve had nothing but love and support for my coming out story.

While that doesn’t mean that’s going to be the case for everyone, I’ve learnt that it’s OK to come out when you’re ready.

It’s always a personal decision and no one else knows what you’re going through, so someone should never feel pressured to come out. Challenging anti-LGBTQ attitudes in sport can’t just rest on the shoulders of LGBTQ athletes – that’s a burden we all need to bear and play a part in tackling.

What I will say is that all my friends and family have seen a massive change in my personality because I’m finally owning who I am. I swim at my best when I’m happy, and coming from a Caribbean heritage I’ve been given a bigger voice and platform to be a role model.

I’m now a Stonewall Sports Champion for athletes still competing in their sport. I became a better athlete after I came out because I was no longer worrying about hiding a part of myself from everyone around me.

My hope, dream and ambition now is to carry on fighting to make sport a more inclusive place for athletes, so everyone can be their authentic selves. Sport, and so many LGBTQ people, will be all the better for it.

MORE: As a black, gay, sports loving man, Ryan Russell coming out filled me with pride and joy

MORE: Zoe Tate was an Emmerdale and LGBTQ+ icon and Leah Bracknell was inspirationally superhuman

MORE: My dad came out as gay – and then my mum did too

You Don’t Look Sick is our weekly series, discussing invisible illness and living with a condition that other people can’t see.

This week, we’re talking to Jane Edwards, 45, from Stamford, Lincolnshire, who has a rare autoimmune disease called vasculitis, which means that her immune system attacks her blood vessels and causes inflammation.

The communications manager has two types of the disease. The first is granulomatosis with polyangiitis (GPA), which affects her small blood vessels. This has left lasting damage on her kidneys, eyes, nose and ears.

The second is large vessel vasculitis, which has caused inflammation in the main aortic arch straight out of her heart.

Jane, who is author of Chronic Illness: Learning to Live Behind My Smile, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘There is no cure for vasculitis, we live in the hope of a drug-free remission, but this is often difficult to achieve, I haven’t reached this nirvana in eight years.

‘I describe the illness to my children as a volcano, sometimes quiet, sometimes erupting, explaining that the eruption could be a small gurgle or a life-changing blast. All explosions leave damage in their wake.’

She was diagnosed eight years ago but had been experiencing symptoms for around three years before she finally got answers.

She adds: ‘The symptoms of vasculitis can be vague to begin with and I am not sure when the disease started, but I believe it was at least three years of visiting doctors with random symptoms before any sign of diagnosis.

‘I had been told I had pneumonia, migraines and just the “after-effects of having children”.’

The turning point came when Jane developed a tooth infection and no matter what her dentist did, it wouldn’t go away.

She adds: ‘The dentist removed all four wisdom teeth, but still, the infection continued. After my third set of antibiotics, he said: “There is something not right, you need to see your doctor”. So, I did, but the answers were not quick.

‘I had just started a new job and was away on induction training. I was sweating all day and trying to sneak off to bed about 7 pm and avoid the meals out and drinking. I felt terrible but kept pretending all was fine.

‘The GP did some blood tests and they showed inflammation and signs of infection. The GP told me it probably wasn’t anything serious, but because I had private medical insurance, we could refer me to a ‘general consultant’ to review my history.

‘I never made the private appointment; instead one day I couldn’t walk up four steps, just total exhaustion. I had lots of blood in my nose, and I was covered in sweat. I was admitted to hospital as an emergency.’

Jane was in hospital for two weeks, where they carried out blood tests, scans and a kidney biopsy to try to find answers.

‘It was an extremely painful and worrying process, and there were moments when I thought they wouldn’t find a specific reason for the way I felt,’ she says.

‘Eventually, fluid was identified around my heart. Nearly half a litre of fluid was taken away, and this finally allowed my heart to start beating loudly, the difference it made was astonishing. I thought this must be the solution.

‘Unfortunately, this was a side effect, not a cause. When the mystery was finally solved, the doctor told me about my rare disease which had been identified from the kidney biopsy.

‘I was so relieved that I could identify a cause for how I felt and so glad that I had something I could fight with enthusiasm.

‘I was given a large bag of drugs to take home, these included chemo tablets, Prednisolone (steroids), and other drugs to protect my bones and stomach. Over the years I have added to my list of pills, and now I have statins, aspirin, thyroxin and heart tablets all aimed to just keeping me moving and my blood vessels open and pushing the blood through my body.’

Jane was told that after three to six months of high dose steroids and immune suppression drugs and then she would reach remission, but after a few months, she did not feel like she was improving.

She adds: ‘My consultant said there was nothing seriously wrong and that I should get used to not always feeling right and that doctors cannot find problems for all aches. It felt like he was implying I was making it all up.

‘That was the last straw for me – I asked my GP to refer me to the Vasculitis specialised clinic in Addenbrookes hospital. On referral, Addenbrookes did many more tests, including a contrast MRI, and found that the aortic arch was inflamed by up to 8mm – a very dangerous level of inflammation.

‘I was immediately put on a clinical trial for a biological infusion called rituximab and after a few weeks, it started to work. The inflammation has reduced, but there is damage left, and the aorta is about 3-4mm thickened permanently.

‘I am so pleased I had the strength to refer myself to the experts. It is worth the extra 40 minutes journey each way. The NHS is fantastic, but it cannot treat everybody as special, you must make yourself special and fight for your own cause.’

Unfortunately, although the drugs helped, she has never reached remission or been able to reduce her dose of steroids to below 7mg.

Jane adds: ‘Eight years on and I still take between 15-20 tablets a day (plus a couple of vitamins) to control the disease. I have terrible side effects from the steroids – puffy face, weight gain, mood swings and damage creeping into my bones.

‘My reliance on steroids now may be permanent as the adrenal glands have stopped producing cortisol so I must carry injectable steroids round with me. If I cannot get my tablets down me (or I vomit), I can inject as an alternative.

‘I worry about the side effects of the steroids, so I make sure I get ‘load-bearing’ exercise every day. For me, this is generally a dog walk with my Labrador George. We go slow, and on the flat but the moving really helps me, and I understand this type of exercise helps fight the bone deterioration caused by the steroids.

‘I am instructed by my heart consultant not to do any exercise that builds pressure in my aorta, which rules out most things, I still enjoy yoga, and swimming (when the immune system isn’t strongly suppressed).’

Every day Jane suffers from severe fatigue which makes it much harder to do day-to-day things.

‘I find it hard to start anything,’ she explains. ‘If I do manage to start it, I fade so incredibly quickly and need rest. Rest and sleep do not stop the fatigue – it is not just feeling a bit tired.

‘The blood flow around my body is restricted, and this means that I really struggle to walk up any incline, not even a hill, just a gentle slope stops me in my tracks.

‘Another thing that really tires me is being with people – the noise, the focused conversations, the staying upright all leave me shouting out for a dark room with a big bed.

‘My friends now laugh when the eyes start dropping. Within five minutes, I need to excuse myself. Nights out and social events are very limited as a late-night leaves me feeling like I have drunk a bottle of vodka (even if I am drinking non-alcoholic drinks).’

Because of her condition, Jane uses the lift instead of the stairs but says that she feels like people judge her because she doesn’t look ill.

She says: ‘It is common to get dirty looks when the lifts are full, like I should be the one to get out and let others use it.

‘My daughter makes me laugh as she will then talk loudly “how are you feeling now?”.

‘The judgment of others really hurts, this can be strangers, work colleagues or friends.

‘Often people do not understand how you can do something one day, but you must cancel something the following day as you just cannot move.

‘That is the hardest thing for me, no clear positive progression of the illness, just an erratic graph going up and down but never climbing high and reaching “healthy”.’

Jane also feels that people are rude because the steroids she takes to control her condition have caused weight gain, while the immunosuppressants she needs mean that she needs to be very cautious about the risk of infection.

She says: ‘I feel I am judged to be fat and lazy as the steroid moon face makes me look enormous. It is the final insult of the disease.

‘I’m also judged for not joining in with things, like taking my daughter to children’s parties as the risk of infection is too high, or not offering to help at the school events or join in at family sports events.

‘My children have got used to mum not joining in with them, but this still hurts, I’m too fragile to play fight, run or even join in most games. However, I try and find other things to do with them and encourage them to do things without me.

‘I know people judge me or don’t believe how ill I am, but to be honest, I have concluded that after eight years of battling, it is their problem to deal with and I ignore them.’

Throughout everything, Jane has had lots of support from the Vasculitis UK team, the only charity dedicated to raising awareness of the condition.

She says: ‘They have been amazing. They are all volunteers but they are incredible.

‘The Facebook group has helped lots over the years. Vasculitis is rare, so it is often not possible to have a face to face meeting so to have an active social media group really helps.’

Jane also deals with her condition by writing about her experiences. At first, this was just to help her process what was happening but she decided to share what she was writing in a book called Chronic Illness: Learning to Live Behind My Smile.

She explains: ‘After going through such a long journey I thought it would be good to share what we, as a family, had learnt along the way with others, this is when it turned into a book. I self-published on Amazon. The feedback has been so positive.

‘I hadn’t imagined that the reviews and feedback would help me to deal with my problems as well as those who read it. I’m so proud that I could turn something so rubbish into a positive outcome.

‘We need to promote the fact that there are lots of illness that really affect lives, many of them are rare and only affect a few people. This means that there cannot be vast amounts of research, funding and often practical support for those patients.

‘For those of us with long term conditions that affect so much of our life, we really could do with some support for how to cope with our battles.’

MORE: You Don’t Look Sick: ‘People think I’m too young to be disabled’

MORE: You Don’t Look Sick: ‘I won’t let haemophilia define me as a person’

MORE: You Don’t Look Sick: ‘My bowel twisted and died inside me – the doctor had no idea how I was still alive’

MORE: You Don’t Look Sick: ‘You might think I look better but I still feel horrible every day’

MORE: You Don’t Look Sick: ‘Crohn’s is more than just lots of trips to the toilet’

MORE: You Don’t Look Sick: ‘I don’t have diabetes because of my diet. It’s an autoimmune disease’

Because everyone wants to dine at the home of Brexit, right?

With an election looming and the country in chaos there is an upside to all the madness currently taking place inside the Palace of Westminster: over the next two months, you will be able to dine in style at the Member’s Dining Room in the actual Houses of Parliament.

The reason we’ve all been given this rare opportunity is that parliament is currently not in session. Normally the space is reserved for MPs and their guests but because of next month’s election, the restaurant is, for now, empty.

Why should you nab a spot at the parliamentary table? First of all, it’s a rare opportunity to eat inside the place. Whilst it is our constitutional right to be granted access to the palace, the invitation does not extend beyond the designated tour routes.

Plus, the last time the country had a December election was way back in 1923, so yes, this is basically a once-in-a-lifetime gig.

Price wise, the £55 (£45 for lunch) priced seasonal set menu is pretty decent. Celebrating locally sourced British produce, expect everything from venison to cord-fed chicken and halibut, as well as rabbit and beef dishes to start. For dessert, think a very chewy pavlova, a chocolate orange delice and lots and lots of British cheeses.

Architecturally, the Member’s Dining Room is Insta goals. Tux and tail waiters hover in between white tablecloths and political-themed art-lined walls, along with other highlights such as high Victorian ceilings, massive windows (with views looking over the Commons Terrace) and some rather chic oak panels – it’s very pretty.

Diners can currently book in for numerous dates for both lunch (12pm to 2pm) and dinner (6.30pm to 7.45pm) between 26 November and 5 December 2019.

Dress code? Smart casual, but boys take note: collared shirts, long trousers and fancy shoes are preferred.

Oh, and you can also get totally sloshed in the bar pre or post-lunch and dinner reservations. Cheers to that.

You can book your table here.

MORE: The UK’s top restaurants have been revealed and they’re budget-friendly

MORE: The hottest date night spots in London right now

Kylie Jenner’s full pout inspired viral challenges and a spike in lip injections. Kim Kardashian’s curves led to a wave of dangerous butt implant procedures. There was even a time after the royal wedding when surgery hopefuls took photos of Kate Middleton’s button nose to their rhinoplasty specialists.

In 2013, when an enormous hot air balloon with 10 breasts debuted in the Australian capital of Canberra, the cultural effects were similar.

Sure, people probably weren’t tearing down to the surgeon’s office to see whether a 10-bosom rack would be physically achievable. It went deeper than that.

As the burner illuminated the rotund belly and swollen nipples of the 30-metre whale, a striking vision of fertility was seared into the minds of the people.

Canberra, home to approximately 420,000 people and one Skywhale, is known for its annual tulip festival and roundabouts with a landmass equal to that of mainland Russia.

It’s the capital known to elicit the following response from Brits: ‘You’re sure the capital isn’t Sydney and Melbourne? I have an uncle/cousin/mate in Melbourne.’

After its first flight, the government-commissioned balloon made headlines around the world, helping put the oft-forgotten city on the map.

Over the years, Skywhale completed international appearances to rival Queen Elizabeth’s 1953 Commonwealth tour.

It’s also just been announced that Patricia Piccinini, the talented artist behind the hovering empress, has developed a follow-up balloon named Skywhalepapa.

So, what will he look like? Let’s first take stock of Skywhale.

Her breasts tumble timelessly as if they could be stalactites in a five-million-year-old cave or the macramé pots hanging in a millennial’s rented flat.

Perhaps even more striking is the way the corners of her mouth crease into a demure, almost Mona Lisa-esque smile, that makes us all think: Girl, mystery dream girl, what secrets do you keep?

While some might expect Skywhalepapa to be kitted out with dangling dongs, Patricia has revealed in a sketch that he will be more vertical than Skywhale and will exude the ultimate big dad energy by proudly carrying his whale brood.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5FQlxAAn59/

The artist intends to highlight and encourage the role father’s play in raising children. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, just one in 20 fathers take primary parental leave.

If it takes a gigantic hover-daddy to encourage equal parental participation, we’re for it.

At the end of the day, Skywhalepapa is one lucky lad. He has the lovechildren of mighty Aphrodite and the huntress Artemis as his spouse.

Skywhalepapa will grace the skies in March 2020. To learn more about the project, visit The National Gallery of Australia.

MORE: Eli the cat can’t keep away from his favourite pub

MORE: These are the dating terms you need to know for 2020 – from Fleabagging to Cause-Playing

It turns out the more expensive puds aren’t that good after all.

Supermarket chain Aldi’s £12.99 Christmas pudding has been crowned the country’s best after it beat the likes of Harrods, Selfridges, Fortnum & Mason and Waitrose in a taste test carried out by consumer magazine Which?

How did they find the best pudding, you ask? Which? blind-tested 13 different Christmas puddings and judged them all on taste, texture, aroma and appearance.

The 800g Aldi Specially Selected Exquisite Vintage Pudding scored an extremely impressive 76%, beating all the other Crimbo desserts to reach the top spot.

Available in all Aldi stores from 5 December, the judging panel said that the winner was packed with high-quality fruits and nuts. They were also randomly fans of the red cherries.

Asda came in second place, followed by the likes of M&S in third, Waitrose in fourth and Lidl in fifth.

Selfridges traditional Christmas pudding (the highest priced on the list at £16) nabbed eighth place whilst supermarket Iceland ranked the lowest in thirteenth place.

Mega supermarket Tesco also received a poor score coming in at second to last place with a taste score of just 56=%.

Commenting on the results Harry Rose, editor of Which? magazine said: ‘It’s always interesting to see the challenger supermarkets taking on the big four, and in our expert taste test Aldi delivered a Christmas pudding that really impressed.’

Julie Ashfield, managing director of buying and winner at Aldi, said: ‘We’re thrilled that our luxury Specially Selected Exquisite Vintage Pudding has been awarded a Which? Best Buy, demonstrating once again that great-tasting, exceptional quality products do not have to come at a premium price.’

So this basically means forking out a small fortune on a posh pudding might not be worth it after all.

MORE: 13 sweet Christmas gift ideas for the new mum in your life

MORE: Dog lovers rejoice, there’s a Christmas party for pooches coming your way next month

MORE: How to make the perfect Christmas Eve box

Black Friday is nearly here, and with it plenty of shops are lining up to give customers the best deals of the year.

There are some easy hacks to follow to get the most out of the sales, but nothing beats preparation.

Knowing when the sales start gives a helpful head-start, so when does the Argos Black Friday sale start?

Has the Argos Black Friday sale started?

Argos’ Black Friday deals started on Friday 22 November.

Their deals are available online and in-store from now until Cyber Monday.

From TVs to laptops, Dysons to Dre headphones, there are plenty of deals to enjoy.

Argos Black Friday deals already on sale

There could be plenty more added in the run up to Black Friday, but take a look at what’s already available.

Tech

Lenovo IdeaPad S145 15.6 Inch Pentium 4GB 128GB Laptop – Grey – was £299.99, now £199.99

Hitachi 50 Inch 50HK25T74U Smart 4K LED TV – was £369.99, now £249.99

Amazon Fire TV Stick with Alexa Voice Remote – was £39.95, now £19.95

Household

Dyson V7 Motorhead Extra Cordless Vacuum Cleaner – was £299.99, now £199.99

Bush MSBSNFWTDW American Fridge Freezer – White – was £529.99, now £399.99

Health and Beauty

Philips Series 3000 Wet and Dry Electric Shaver S3580/06 – was £45.99, now £39.99

Barry M Nail Paint Gift Set x 30 – was £59.99, now £29.99

STAR20 deals

Quote STAR20 in-store or in the online checkout to get 20% off a range of Frozen, Marvel and Star Wars toys until Wednesday 26 November – ideal for parents looking for stocking fillers.

When is Black Friday?

Black Friday 2019 isn’t until 29 November, but many shops like Argos have already started rolling out deals a whole week early.

They aren’t the only ones to do so – you can save on skincare with DECIEM’s 23% off everything all month and NOW TV have launched plenty of early deals.

MORE: Best Nintendo Switch Black Friday deals include micro SD card for £13

MORE: Amazon’s Fitbit Charge 3 fitness tracker for £75 is a great Black Friday 2019 deal

When dealing with a chronic illness, there can be lots of unexpected costs.

Although we have a national health service that means everyone can get free treatment, there’s the cost of travelling for appointments, prescription charges, hospital parking, buying equipment or paying for treatment that isn’t available on the NHS, and it can all build up.

One of the most difficult things is dealing with conditions that can be unpredictable and can lead to long and frequent periods out of work. If you are self-employed or don’t get sick pay, you face a huge loss of income.

Statutory sick pay is just £94.25 a week and it is paid for a maximum of 28 weeks by your employer.

For many, the only option is to turn to credit cards or loans to pay for these expenses but as these costs spiral, slipping into debt crisis can be easy.

Gemma, 32 Hull, ended up being £12,000 in debt as she struggled to hold down a job while dealing with the symptoms of endometriosis – a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the womb starts to grow in other places, such as the ovaries and fallopian tubes.

It can cause very severe abdominal pain, particularly during a woman’s period. According to Endometriosis UK, one in 10 women of reproductive age in the UK have the condition.

Some days, Gemma felt fine, but other days it would hurt so much, she would have to take strong painkillers, which meant she couldn’t drive to work, meaning she would be late or would have to take the day off.

She explains: ‘I was unable to hold down a job. I would have to take time off work, wasn’t paid sick pay only statutory sick pay, and it would get to that point again where HR would then have a conversation and get rid of me based on “performance”.

‘At no point was my performance under par – none of my review chats or one-to-one meetings stated it. I was always being set up for my next promotion.

‘With no job or relying on statutory sick pay I had to borrow money to afford, rent and food. I had bills to pay.

‘I had spoken to the Jobcentre about benefits or assistance. As I was a single female under 35 and no dependants, I was told I would get £200 to help house and feed me.’

‘I was caught in a vicious cycle of using a credit card, paying some of it off, then losing a job, having to use the credit card.’

Eventually, she built up £12,000 worth of debt on her credit cards. She feels that employers need to do more to make adjustments for people with chronic conditions to allow them to hold down a job.

She says: ‘I hoped that I would find the right employer that would be empathetic and see the value in what I can do, not what is limited by my illness. I can work from home, with plenty of rests and sleep.

‘Not a lot of employers like to let you work from home. I would always make up any hours lost, so in a month they would get the same as they would but over fewer days.

‘Thankfully now I have a supportive partner and bills aren’t just mine so my outgoing is less. That isn’t a solution for all though.’

Jodie, 28, from Blackburn, Lancashire, also has endometriosis and when she had to take time off work, she had to take out an emergency payday loan to pay her bills.

She says: ‘I was in desperate measures so I turned to a payday loan

‘I am in severe chronic pain and fatigue that results in me staying in bed or in one place so I wouldn’t be able to go into work.

‘I was in over £4,000 worth of debt and I am still paying said debts off as I have only one income and no help benefits wise.

‘There needs to be more accessible help for people with chronic illnesses that are suffering from financial difficulties.’

For other people, debt builds up from paying for more sophisticated treatment or equipment than the NHS offers them.

Others pay for private treatment because of the long NHS waiting lists.

Sam* built up a debt of £3,000 while paying for equipment that was not available on the NHS at the time.

‘I had a lot of anxiety related to my type one diabetes and it wasn’t very well controlled. I saw people talking about a new system where you could check your blood sugars by scanning a sensor on your arm.

‘It was expensive – costing around £200 for the reader and then £60 for each sensor, which lasted 14 days. My doctor told me I wasn’t eligible for it on the NHS at that time.

‘I funded it myself and found it made a huge difference to me but soon after, I was made redundant. I knew I couldn’t afford it but it was making a big difference to my quality of life.

‘I just put the money on my credit card every month but could never really afford to pay much off so it spiralled quickly.

‘I was out of work for about 10 months and my new job was on a lower salary so I really struggled but I could see the difference.

‘Eventually, the rules changed and I was able to get it funded on the NHS, which has made a huge difference.

‘Now I’ve paid off most of the debt and although I feel disappointed about how much I spent, I felt like it was worth it for my health at the time.’

Jenny* also got into debt because she felt she needed help for her mental health but as she faced a six-month waiting list, she decided to pay for private therapy.

She says: ‘I was struggling with anxiety and depression and the wait on the NHS was so long. I just didn’t think I could cope that long.

‘I paid for 10 sessions at £70 each on my credit card because I just didn’t have the money to pay for them myself. It made a huge difference to me but I ended up paying it back for about two years as the interest built up.

‘It really upset me that I had this debt hanging over me but I also am glad I got help when I did.’

So what help is there for people living with a chronic condition who face these unexpected costs.

Firstly, if you are in work and dealing with a long term health condition, they do need to make reasonable adjustments to help you continue working.

This may be allowing you to work from home or working reduced hours but you should consider what you think might help and chat with your employer about what they could change.

Working reduced hours may mean you are entitled to a tax rebate so speak to HMRC to check if you are entitled to one.

If you do have to take time off sick or give up work, make sure you are getting the help that is available to you.

There are benefits available to those who cannot work because of long term illness so check to see what you may be entitled to.

If you are renting and on a low income, you may also be able to claim housing benefit and reduce your council bill.

For homeowners, there may be insurance in place that covers your payments if you are ill, or you could be entitled to the government ‘Support for Mortgage Interest’ scheme.

When it comes to other utility bills, contact your supplier to see if they offer extra support. You may be entitled to a warm homes discount or the winter fuel payment.

You may also have insurance policies in place that payout in the vent of long-term or terminal illness so check any policies you have and speak to them about what they can do.

For specific costs like travel and parking, some hospitals offer support schemes for people who have to visit regularly. If you have reduced mobility, you may also qualify for a Blue Badge, which means you can park for free.

Prescription charges are free in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland but they cost £8.40 in England. Some health conditions are exempt from paying the charge. If you are not eligible, you can save with a prescription prepayment certificate.

Charities may also provide financial support or grants for people living with health conditions. Check with the charities associated with your situation to see if there is anything they can do.

Martin Weaver ended up living in a caravan with no electricity, cooker or toilet when he was diagnosed with kidney disease and he was no longer able to work.

He was having dialysis three times a week and suffered from a heart condition. Although he applied for benefits, a delay meant he was really struggling.

Martin used the Advocacy service from Kidney Care UK, to get advice and help to improve his financial situation.

In some cases, the charity also has financial assistance grants, for example, to help someone who has fallen behind on a rent or mortgage payment because they are ill.

Other charities offer similar help, including Macmillan, who offer small grants for those living with cancer.

Turn 2 US offer a grant search service so you can find charities or funds that might be able to help you with some one-off costs, to avoid turning to your credit card.

*Names have been changed.

MORE: What being in debt can do to your mental health

MORE: My boyfriend’s gambling addiction put us £2k in debt but it’s shown me what true love is

Turnips…they’re not the sexiest of vegetables, are they? Not compared to the alluring glamour of, say, the aubergine or asparagus.

For a long time dismissed as ‘peasant food’, they’ve had to suffer the yearly indignity of seeing pumpkins, their arrogant cousins, hogging the Halloween limelight – even though Jack O’ lanterns were traditionally made with turnips.

But now, at long last, the ugly sister of the vegetable world has been given its own shot at stardom: turnip tops (i.e. the green bits) are the hottest new trend in British cuisine.

Also known by the Italian ‘cime di rapa’, which sounds a bit more glamorous, turnip greens are now being stocked by online supermarket Ocado. and similarly upscale retailers around the country, with customers willing to pay as much as £10 per kilo.

Whereas in the past, turnip greens were a niche ingredient mostly used by specialist chefs, more and more people are trying them out in their home cooking.

Part of the appeal of turnip tops lies in their versatility. They’re traditionally used in a range of different cuisines, including Italian, Spanish and Korean food (in which they are often fermented and served kimchi-style).

‘Turnip tops is traditional peasant food,’ celebrity chef Giorgio Locatelli tells the Mail on Sunday, ‘People in northern Italy tease those from Puglia about eating turnip greens. But they can be delicious in so many ways.’

Locatello uses turnip tops at Locanda Locatelli, his Michelin-starred restaurant in the West End, London.

‘Cime di rapa has a slightly bitter flavour, and is very easy to cook and very versatile,’ he says, ‘I don’t really know why it isn’t grown commercially here as it could be done easily.’

As well as Locatelli’s restaurant, you can find turnip tops in a number of classy restaurants across the London, such as Trullo, in Islington, where they’re served as part of a main course with Yorkshire Partridge and chicken liver crostini.

Belgravi’as Zafferano, meanwhile, serves the greens alongside halibut and fresh chilli.

If the trend continues at this pace, turnip greens will no doubt be appearing in a restaurant near you before long. If you can’t wait till then, why not try them out at home yourself?

MORE: You can now have dinner at the Houses of Parliament

MORE: Red Velvet flavoured Baileys is finally available to buy in the UK

MORE: M&S is selling a cheese advent calendar