Are you the kind of person who would rather miss a bus, train or even a plane to avoid making small talk with a colleague you’ve bumped into?

You’re not alone if you dread awkward encounters.

As much fun as can be had on free booze, Christmas parties can also be very awkward affairs, especially if your work environment doesn’t have many social events.

Some people even converse for the first time at the annual festive shindig.

So rather than ask them who the hell they are (or forget their name and then get too embarrassed to ask them again), here are some universal icebreakers that you can break out.*

*Only to never talk to them until the next Christmas party.

Politics

Not sure if you’ve noticed but there’s a whole lot of political kerfuffle going on at the minute. With that General Election we just had, we’re sure there’s plenty to talk about.

Some parties might envoke a ‘no politics’ rule, so just be careful of wading too deep into your political views.

Keep this chat to the early part of the night, before too much alcohol has been consumed, lest you get into a fight. Let’s not forget that Christmas parties have consequences.

Christmas

The thing that’s bought you together; a time of great merriment, eating your body weight in chocolate and getting very very drunk.

It’s a magical time where all of the above is reasonable everyday behaviour. At any lull in any conversation, you can bring this bad boy up and instantly everyone has thoughts, whether it’s about the last-minute shopping, how much more joyous childhood Christmasses were, or, for the fun sponges, consumerism.

Work

Talking to your boss or other higher-ups? It might be time to put your best foot forward and make yourself known in a good way, while everyone’s in a bubbly mood.

Perhaps mention a project or story you’ve worked on or a person you helped.

You can always use the topic of work as an in before you move on to the fun stuff. After all, it’s common ground.

Social media

If something happened to you that you wanted to tweet about then chances are you find it interesting. Social media is a great springboard for discussion.

Either bring up something you saw on a colleague’s Instagram Story or something you put out into the ether.

Maybe a time you were hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo?*

*Yes this is a pick-up line from Friends, only use this if you’re trying to hook up with someone (and maybe not even then, because that has consequences too).

TV shows

There are only two types of people in the world: Those who’ve watched Game of Thrones and those who have a life.

Definitely don’t lead with something as controversial and brave as that last statement, but nothing brings TV fanatics together like a common show interest. This is a good time to collect recommendations and go on about that thing you just couldn’t stop bingeing.

Lived experiences

Yes, Christmas parties are a time of great enjoyment but they’re also attended by people you spend a lot of time with who may not be from the same walk of life as you.

This might be a good time to chat and more importantly listen to someone with a different lived experience from you, especially if that difference colours their experience of the workplace.

Not all your colleagues may be up for drinking, for example – instead of badgering them about how they can have fun without drinking, why not chat to them about what that’s like?

Or better yet, share a Pepsi with them, if you’re not too tempted by free bevvies.

Something interesting you read

Preferably something on Metro.co.uk, from our unbiased opinion. Whether it be on social media, in print or online, articles, long-reads, and research can inspire many a discussion.

Memes/viral content/Tik Tok

On that note, viral tweets and/or memes are often hilarious. In fact, a common meme interest might signal a similar sense of humour which is a prerequisite of a friendship.

Or show them your favourite Tik-Tok video. They don’t know what that is? Explain to them what ‘ok boomer’ means.

By the end of the night, you could be saying ‘hey look at us, who would’ve thought? Not me.’

Or you might even end up doing the triangle dance.

Food

If Instagram bios are anything to go bio, everyone’s a foodie. Why not mention the, hopefully, great spread you just ate? Or what you’re preparing for the big day?

Or literally anything to do with food. Everyone eats.

Perhaps you’re doing veganuary? Chat to someone who’s done it or is a full-time vegan.

Music:

What was on your Spotify Wrapped? What on earth is ‘Pop Rock?’ So many questions. This is a great topic no matter who the audience and is often the only time everyone thinks their taste is superior.

Conspiracy theories:

Slightly more niche but drink has the effect of making one find entertainment in the weirdest of things. Sit down with a work bud and discuss whether Avril Lavigne is actually dead, or if Stevie Wonder is really blind. Or if you want to get deep: the moon landing.

Don’t become that conspiracy guy though.

Secret Santa

Did you just loooove that childhood fave album you got? Chances are you’re standing with the person who gave it to you. Make them feel appreciated, say you loved it.

And if you didn’t, then just let it collect dust like all the other presents you’re either going to regift or eventually throw away.

So there you have it, all the topics you need to become a conversational wizard.

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Many people will have woken up this morning feeling helpless and hopeless. For reasons that don’t really need explaining.

If you fall into this category, it can be tempting to react by switching off, disengaging, frantically looking at flights out of the country. But this isn’t the only way.

Once the initial blow has worn off and the disappointment has dissipated – it might be more productive to investigate the practical ways you can help the most vulnerable people in society.

Helping feels good, and is more important now than ever before. So when you’re ready to shake off the despondency, take a look at these positive ways you can contribute.

Volunteer at a food bank

There are around 2,000 food banks in the UK and they provide emergency food to people living in poverty.

You can donate to food banks – they are always looking for non-perishable, in-date food, so think tins of beans and tuna and vegetables. But volunteering at a food bank could be even better.

Between April 2018 and May 2019, a record 1.6 million food bank parcels were given out across the UK. The Trussell Trust network has 28,000 volunteers working across its food banks and couldn’t function without their generosity.

Food banks rely on the support of local communities to help end hunger.

Volunteer to help the homeless

According to Crisis, 57,890 households were accepted as homeless in England last year.

As well as the visible homelessness we see everyday, there is also a problem with ‘hidden homelessness’, as many people who are not entitled to help with housing, or who don’t approach their councils for help, aren’t counted in the official statistics.

On average, homeless people die at just 44 years old.

You can help by volunteering at charities – helping to raise money, giving advice on helplines, or whatever transferable skills you have to offer.

Befriend a family

Become a Befriender means you can offer a reliable and supportive relationship for people who would otherwise be socially isolated.

That includes children and young people, families, people with mental ill-health, people with learning disabilities and older people.

Befrienders are carefully matched with disadvantaged families to provide them with practical and emotional support.

You’ll get full training before you start, and it requires weekly two-three hour visits to families, for a minimum of six months.

Become a reading volunteer

If you want to help children to develop their literacy skills and ensure they have better prospects in the future, this is a great scheme.

Bookmark’s specially designed six-week programme offers one-to-one support to an individual child. You can even bring in books from your local library to challenge and inspire your reader.

You’ll help by reading with your allocated kid in 30-minute sessions, twice a week, at a local school.

Help fight loneliness in the elderly

More than two million people in England over the age of 75 live alone. More than a million older people say they go for over a month without speaking to a friend, neighbour or family member.

You can help by providing companionship and conversation just a few hours every week.

Age UK runs some brilliant programmes that encourage older and younger generations to spend time together – because intergenerational friendships are good for everyone.

Inspire a child as a volunteer mentor

The Kids Network runs a structured mentoring programme that supports 8 -11 year olds in London with their social and emotional development before they transition into secondary school.

You’ll hold weekly one on one sessions of one-three hours.

The aim is to build confidence, resilience and help your matched child to manage their feelings through a series of fun and positive experiences and activities.

Volunteer on Christmas Day

This is a particularly tough time of year to be living in poverty, living with illness, or living with loneliness.

Giving up a few hours of your Christmas Day can light up someone else’s life – and you can even make it a family activity.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen, an old people’s home, or simply head out on Christmas morning with warm food and blankets for anyone spending the day on the streets.

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A reminder that there are good people doing wonderful things in the world.

Jeff Williams has been given the title of ‘Tampon Man’ and received heaps of praise after he nipped out to buy sausages, only to return with thousands of sanitary towels to help those in poverty.

Jeff, 55, had only planned to pop into Morrisons for some sausages but ended up spending more than £75 on tampons and pads after learning about period poverty.

Now Jeff is hoping to make picking up trolley-loads of pads a Christmas tradition.

The IT manager was inspired to help out those on their periods after his partner Louise Cooke, 54, came home from a day of work at charity Faith and Hope Enterprise, providing supported housing for those in need.

Louise told Jeff that some of the women she helped were unable to afford sanitary products and so used a sock in place of a pad. Naturally, Jeff was horrified. He knew he needed to do something to make a difference.

Jeff said: ‘My partner Louise came home last week really upset which she doesn’t often do. She actually cried and she was just rolling through her day.

‘And one of the things that really struck me was one of the women had said “I need a sock” and that’s what it was about – she was menstruating.

‘She didn’t have anything, she didn’t have any money and she uses socks and a lot of the women do – or [use] whatever they’ve got around.

‘The following week I went down to Morrisons for some sausages for lunch and I ended up with a trolley stood there staring at the tampons with no idea which size or what kind.

‘And I just piled a whole lot into the trolley with a packet of sausages.’

Since the death of Jeff’s mum in 2012, Jeff has created his own festive tradition of buying something for a stranger in need each year – as he doesn’t have a mum to buy a present for anymore.

This year, learning about the reality of period poverty prompted Jeff to focus on providing sanitary products for those in need.

Jeff shared photos of his trolley – along with the story of why he’d bought all those pads – on Facebook, where the post is inspiring thousands to do something kind.

He wrote: ‘I got so many funny looks walking around Morrisons today with a trolley overflowing with sanitary towels and tampons but nobody dared to ask if I was okay lol.

‘I was shocked when I overheard Lollo last week saying that some of the women housed by her charity in Derby and Belper have so little that they often have to use their socks because they have no money for sanitary products.

‘It’s such an overlooked aspect of poverty and homelessness.

‘Here’s at least a small relief in dignity over the Christmas period. Sorry for the pun.

‘I don’t have a mum to buy for at Christmas anymore so since she died I always try to find a way to spend it on a stranger in need – on my mum’s behalf. It makes me incredibly happy.

‘Don’t forget to do something nice for a stranger this Christmas.

‘Oh, and yes, DO post it on social media in the hope it encourages others to do the same.’

The post ended up being shared more than 53,000 times and receiving 9,100 comments, as well as earning Jeff the title of ‘Tampon Man’.

Jeff says he received some funny looks for buying period products in bulk, but it’s all worth it to know he’s lending a hand to someone who needs it.

‘The looks I was getting,’ he said. ‘As I put the first pack in, a woman standing next to me with her grandma or someone gave me a look.

‘I put another pack in and then I grabbed two handfuls and more and more.

‘She said to the old lady ‘are these the ones you normally have’ and then they just stopped and stared at me, and then they just walked away. I was fine with it, I knew what I was doing, of course.

‘I got some milk and other bits and pieces and went to the checkout and there was a massive queue.

‘So I was passed by a lot of people, all of them staring at me, staring at the trolley, staring at me and moving on.

‘[People were] just puzzled. But no one dared ask me if I was okay or if my partner was okay. I was thinking maybe they think I’ve got a woman bleeding to death at home or something.

‘The trolley was literally overflowing. I’d packed them all in at the bottom nice and tidy and then I’d thrown a load on top and they were the ones that kept falling off.

‘The checkout lady was playing poker face, which I guess they’re trained to do.’

Jeff hopes that his small act of kindness will create a ripple effect, encouraging everyone who sees his gesture to do some good of their own.

He added: ‘It’s been rarely refreshing – the first few thousand comments were from women but then a few men started coming in and a lot of people have said that they’re going to do the same.

‘It’s an invisible and very personal poverty problem so it’s not really talked about and no one really considers it.

‘I’m not professing to be some kind of expert in it but I know when Louise told me about it I was horrified and I’m in a position to do something for these women at least.

‘Now Louise and her daughter call me Tampon Man and the guys at work call me ‘Sanitary Man’ like I’m a superhero and that’s my superpower. I don’t mind – it’s all good.

‘The main thing is it’s highlighted this issue that obviously has hit a lot of nerves and a lot of women and I’m glad to say men have really jumped on it and pushed it.

‘As far as raising awareness they’ve credited me but they’ve done it by pushing this post around.’

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If you think your holiday decorations looks festive, this creative mum is about to put you to shame.

Robbie Crawford is planning a party for her entire family this year and decided that a regular Christmas tree just wouldn’t do.

The genius idea struck the preschool teacher as she was telling her students about her Native American heritage.

As she was thinking of ways to make the event just that bit more special, she looked to the corner of the room and saw the tipi that she had set up for the class.

And voilà: the Christmas ‘tree-pee’ was born.

‘My family decided that they were coming to my house for Christmas,’ Robbie tell Metro.co.uk.

‘All 19 of them were going to be staying with me for two days.

‘When guests come to my house, I try to make it fun for everyone, especially the kids. It brings me pleasure to create adult zones and kid zones, making it enjoyable for elderly family members, as well as young rambunctious children to be under the same roof.

‘I do a lot of special touches to decorate for the kids. I set up activity tables, build-a-snack food bars, electronic games projected onto the wall, bears, balls, balloons…whatever I can think of!

‘At the preschool where I work, I was teaching one of my favorite units where I am able to share with my class information from my Native American heritage.

‘Each night that week, I had been prepping my house for all the guests who were coming so I was in Christmas mode. I looked at the tipi in my classroom and thought, “that’s the shape of a Christmas tree”.’

So, how did she make it?

The thrifty mum from Missouri, US, used the wooden frame of the classroom tipi and attached some branches that she had saved from an old tree.

She attached the branches with the help of a stapler, and dressed the tree with leftover wedding decorations and non-breakable baubles.

The project took her two hours to complete.

Robbie says: ‘I don’t have much money (did I mention that I work in a preschool?) but poverty is the mother of invention and creativity is her father.

‘My creativity kicked into full gear. I had an old broken tree that I saved because the branches were nice quality and I knew I could do something with them. I had burlap left over from a wedding that I decorated.

‘I put all these elements together in my mind and dreamed up an awesome Christmas play fort my little nephews.

‘With my nephews’ adorable faces in my imagination, I set about making this tree-pee when I got home. I knew when they saw it, they’d scream in delight, jump around, crawl in and declare me their favorite aunt. This was my inspiration.

‘I loaded up the tipi in my car, gathered all my materials from my garage, and created a tree-pee in two hours. I called to let my sister’s boys know that I had a surprise waiting for them when they got to my house for Christmas.’

‘I took pictures and posted it [on social media], just like I do all of my projects but for some reason, this idea took off.’

Unsurprisingly, people are loving Robbie’s jolly creation.

Her Facebook post has racked up over 80,000 shares so far, along with 7,500 likes.

‘I love it. Awesome idea!,’ commented one person.

Someone else wrote: ‘I’m obsessed with this tree-pee!!!.’

Robbie also says that people have contacted her to tell her that they’ll be making their very own tree-pees this season.

‘What is really special is all of the people who have written me about how they plan to use this idea in their homes,’ she tells us.

‘Several have said they have children with disabilities or special needs and this space will be so satisfying for them during the busy Christmas season.’

Robbie adds: ‘Some have decided to use it for their pets. Some want to hide their presents inside the tree-pee since they have limited floor space in their tiny apartments.

‘A native American lady wrote me that this will be a wonderful way for her to pay homage to her ancestry.

‘Who would have thought that when I was just trying to bring joy to two little boys, this idea would have brought joy to so many others? I’m so happy about that!’

In fact, the response has been so positive that Robbie has created a Facebook page dedicated to the project, asking others to share photos of their own tree-pees.

We’re pretty sure Santa Claus will approve (we wouldn’t even be surprised if he took a nap under the tree on Christmas morning).

Have you been inventive with your Christmas decorations this year? Get in touch and show us your fantastic creations: metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk

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If you stumbled through 2019 trying to avoid discussions of current events, you’re not alone.

Loads of us feel the fear of sounding like a massive idiot, whether it’s admitting you don’t totally understand how healthcare works in the US or having no clue how to not mangle Greta Thunberg’s name.

Frankly, 2019 has been packed with important people and big news that feature tricky words – some harder to pronounce than others.

Language-learning app Babbel commissioned the British Institute of Verbatim Reporters to find the words even newsreaders found tough to pronounce correctly.

There’s no shame in making a blunder when it comes to pronunciation – as long as you try and will listen when you’re wrong.

But because we’re a competitive bunch, we’ve turned the year’s difficult words into a pronunciation quiz, inviting you to select the correct phonetic pronunciation of each one.

But first, let’s make sure we know what these words mean, as that’s quite important too.

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Tis the season of love and understanding.

That’s the message of this time of year, and in the run-up to Christmas you’ll see numerous appeal about how to do your bit for those less fortunate.

This is amazing, and if you are donating or lending your time to a charity, then well done. But need doesn’t end when the tree comes down.

The Trussell Trust, Britain’s biggest food bank charity, found in their State of Hunger survey that one in 50 UK households used a food bank in 2018-19, and around three million food parcels were given out over the course of the year.

Figures showed that 4,751 people slept rough across England on any given night in 2017 – a 15% increase compared to the previous year, and more than double the amount in 2010.

1.9 million older people right here in the UK often feel ignored or invisible, and around n estimated 14.3 million people are in poverty in the UK.

This is the country we inhabit, and while the warm, cosy glow of Christmas or the result of the recent election that makes you feel something about it, it’s not going to change overnight.

Charities see a huge drop in volunteers once Christmas. Caroline Abrahams, Charity Director for Age UK, told Metro.co.uk: ‘Christmas is a key time for us, not only to raise awareness of those who will spend the festive season alone with their problems but also to generate much-needed funds for our work, and we’re incredibly grateful to everyone who chooses to support us or gets in touch during this time.

‘But the truth is that loneliness doesn’t only affect older people over the Christmas period, and the winter months remain challenging for many older people. Colder weather brings an increase in associated health problems for those in later life and short, dark days make it harder to get out and about, which can leave older people feeling more isolated and alone.’

Amy Klein, Senior Direct Marketing Manager at youth homelessness charity Centrepoint echoed these statements, telling Metro.co.uk: ‘During the Christmas period, there is a significant fluctuation around offers of volunteers and donations, which is something we greatly appreciate.

‘Unfortunately, youth homelessness is an issue all year round – and our work is holistic, and long-term with young people, we are there to provide accommodation, training and all types of support to help young people leave homelessness behind for good.’

That’s why it’s vital to ensure that support you give doesn’t stop. If you are feeling a pang of needing to get involved to help people, and want to make a difference, here’s how.

How to volunteer in the New Year

The first thing you need to do, is decide which cause matters to you most.

Perhaps mental health is something close to your heart, in which case you could train as a volunteer for Samaritans. Or, perhaps your local area has a dearth of youth facilities, so you’d like to do your part by volunteering at a community-run youth club.

You can find a list of local charities here, and sort the list based on causes like animal welfare, rescue services, and culture among others.

As well as working out which charity you’d like to support, you need to work out what skills, time, or resources you have available.

Some charities will have specific needs in terms of volunteering, which may come in the form of befrienders for the elderly, accounting and secretarial helpers, or PR people who can volunteer to spread the word.

It may even be that they just need someone to move boxes and heavy items, in which case your brawn will be much appreciated.

Ensure you don’t overcommit yourself in a fit of desire to help. While it’s understandable in the current climate that you might want to give yourself entirely, stretching yourself too thin won’t help anyone.

Set a realistic amount of time that you can offer up weekly or monthly, so when you speak to your chosen charity, you can ensure you’ll be truly ready to help when you do sign up.

Amy Klein says: ‘The need for volunteers does not exist only during the festive period but all year, so we only look for volunteers who are able to make that longer term commitment to providing support for the young people.’

Consider donating

While man hours are absolutely necessary, for some charities the biggest hurdle is financial.

Not everybody has the money to donate, but if you do have spare funds it’s something to consider.

Perhaps you could set up a rounding-up feature on your banking app (Monzo allow you to do this), where each spend is rounded up to the nearest pound and put in a pot. Every few months or so, you could send it off to a different charity.

Alternatively, a small standing order that comes out on payday might not be noticeable to you, but will make a big difference wherever it goes.

And don’t forget to use Gift Aid if it’s applicable, as it really boosts the money that goes to good causes.

What food banks need

If you’d like to give food to one of your local food banks, you can give them a ring or check on their Facebook page to see what kinds of items they’re short of.

All donations are greatly welcomed, but food parcels tend to be made up with specific amounts of items (such as tinned fruit, tinned fish, pasta, tinned vegetables, fresh items donated through FareShare).

If they’re short on a specific thing, it’s a massive help to bump up that specific stock so that service users can have balanced and full food parcels.

This tweet is also handy for getting an idea of just what a couple of pounds can get you.

Your foodbank is going to need more donations in the next 5 years. Here's what you can buy for just under a fiver:
UHT milk – 55p
Long life fruit juice – 40p
Pasta – 1kg = £1
Jam – 75p
Toothpaste – 80p
Tinned carrots – 40p
Tinned sweetcorn – 50p
Biscuits – Bourbon cream – 45p

— Katie – The Creative Historian (@CreateHistorian) December 13, 2019

Food banks also accept essential non-food items such as toiletries and hygiene products, helping people in crisis to maintain dignity and feel human again.

Remember, whatever goes on in the world, we can change things through banding together and caring for each other however we can.

You can also lend a hand to Centrepoint’s We Will Be Heard campaign, which costs nothing and takes just a minute. They’re asking people who want to help to join their social campaign and add their name to the campaign calling on the new government to end youth homelessness. Click here to take part.

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This election campaign has been tough.

A relentless, inescapable news cycle with commentators spitting insults at each other night and day, toxic debates on every social media platform, and racism being leveraged for political point-scoring.

But amidst the vitriol, there was still hope. Hope for policies that put human beings first, hope for a kinder politics. And many people woke up this morning to find their hopes dashed in the most brutal manner.

It’s symptomatic of a country more polarised than it has ever been in most of our lifetimes – and it’s having a serious, detrimental impact on our mental health.

‘I was a mess this morning,’ says Hayley, a company director who lives in London.

‘I’ve been anxious all week and I can barely breathe today. I booked a therapy session for today as I knew I would need it.’

Hayley says her anxiety symptoms have been exacerbated by ‘relentless, toxic news’, and as a result she’s seeking help from a mental health professional to help her get through it.

But that’s not the only thing she’s doing – Hayley is taking steps to distract herself and returning to tried and tested methods to boost her mood.

‘I’m throwing myself into work to keep me busy and distract myself. I’m also heading to the gym as it makes me happy,’ she says.

‘I’m also removing myself from social media for the next couple of days unless it’s for work, as this is what’s killing me. And I’ve promised myself to work harder, save more, give more and just be a better, happier person as that’s all we can do.’

Hayley has recognised that although it’s vital to engage with the world around you at times like this, it’s also important to step away when you need to recharge.

‘It makes you feel angry, confused, anxious and depressed. This can make anyone with mental health issues worse and can also exaberate physical health conditions.’

Rob, a digital, technology, and advertising specialist, is feeling similarly stressed out in light of the result.

‘When the exit polls came out, it was the same sinking feeling as I had waking up on referendum morning. I didn’t know what to expect from either side, but I thought common sense would prevail.

As a father of three, Rob says the result has made him anxious for their future.

‘A future without nation healthcare, without free movement through the EU, without support should they fall on hard times,’ says Rob.

‘I am also self-employed at the moment, which makes me anxious that the whole scenario will mean work dries up overnight.’

Rob says the worst thing for him is the feeling of hopelessness. He feels as though nothing he does can ever change anything for the better.

‘Quite frankly, it gives you a “whats the point?” view of the world, and certainly of politics,’ he adds.

‘Those in power will find a way to get what they want, regardless of consequences for everybody else. It’s a majorly depressing feeling of despondency.’

The transition of political power and the uncertainty that comes with that can certainly induce anxiety.

A study in April found that Brexit uncertainty was having a negative impact on the mental health of 33% of the population (43% of Labour voters).

Another study found that the referendum may have influenced the increasing rate of antidepressant prescriptions.

All the evidence points to a desperate need for a break. So maybe, switching off the news and going outside to breathe air and talk to other humans is a good place to start.

‘Regardless of your political beliefs, getting trapped in the news cycle can feel disorientating and all-consuming,’ says Brian Dow, Chief Executive of Mental Health UK.

‘If you start to feel that way, it’s important that you make time to do the things that you know make you feel better.

‘This is different for everyone, so it’s good to know what works for you, but it might be spending time with friends and family, enjoying some fresh air and exercise, or just taking a bit of a break from the news if things feel relentless.’

It’s solid advice.

But what happens when you turn the news back on? And many of us can’t afford to simply disengage. Self-care in the form of avoidance is a privilege that minority and vulnerable members of society don’t have.

When the things being said by the most powerful politicians – the people who literally run the country – potentially affect your right to exist, your liberty and your safety – a bath and a glass of wine might not shake your anxiety.

Ilayda is mixed-heritage – her parents are Turkish, Jamaican and Indian. She says the elements of racism she has witnessed in this election campaign has triggered intense anxiety and unease.

‘I feel it hugely,’ Illayda tells Metro.co.uk. ‘The place where I work has a huge majority of white, middle and upper class, right wing supporters (who are mostly male). There’s this sense of shame for being a left wing millennial.

‘With the result, there’s this sense of helplessness that myself and my direct community are feeling. We did the most we could do and it just wasn’t enough.

‘It’s not just the result, but the margins just go to show that the majority of this country don’t care for the working class, for the disadvantaged, for women or Muslims.

‘It’s scary knowing that you’re surrounded by, working with and related to people who have these views.’

Ilayda is describing a common dissonance that can be felt after unexpected or disappointing political result. She says the ‘fear’ she feels when she thinks about how the country voted is fuelling her anxiety.

‘It was so hard to get out of bed this morning knowing the circumstances we were asking up to.

‘I’m hugely anxious for myself and my loved ones. In places where right wing politics govern there seems to be a rise in racist, sexist and Islamophobic attacks. There’s a risk of it being unsafe for minorities.’

It isn’t surprising that she feels this way.

In March, the Mental Health Foundation warned that the mental well-being of the black, Asian and ethnic minority population ‘might seriously be undermined’as a result of increased racism and xenophobia caused by divisive politics.

But Ilayda is working hard not to give in to the feelings of helplessness, and is doing what she can to protect her mental robustness.

‘I find it comfort knowing that this is only the start,’ she adds.

‘National reformation is expected to face adversity I suppose, and I have so much faith in my generation and generations to come who will represent the values that we hope to have.’

But hope isn’t always enough. If you have preexisting or severe mental illness, the strain of a stressful election can be incredibly damaging – and it can feel inescapable. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone – and that there is help available.

‘It’s understandable to feel uncertain about how the election result will impact you or those around you. In this period of change, we need to all prioritise our own mental well-being,’ says Vicki Nash, Head of Policy and Campaigns at Mind.

‘It’s natural to feel upset and frustrated when things are up in the air, but if feelings are overwhelming, it’s worth thinking about taking steps to look after yourself or seeking help.

‘It doesn’t have to be forever, but a short break from technology and the news might help you feel more rested and able to cope. Instead try setting aside some time each day to do something else you enjoy.

‘We also want to reassure the public that we won’t stop until mental health gets the attention it deserves.

‘This Government must fix NHS services, overhaul the Mental Health Act and welfare system, protecting people in the workplace, addressing the mental health crisis among young people and putting mental health at the heart of all policy areas.

‘We will hold those elected to account on promises made and continue to campaign to make sure everyone experiencing a mental health problem gets the support they need, and deserve.’

If you woke up today with the worst political hangover of your life, that’s OK. It’s normal to feel low when the messaging around you is so bleak and uncertain.

But it’s important to take note of how you’re feeling, and if your dejection is turning into something more substantial – speak to someone about it and get help.

It’s also good to remember that good can spring from times of despair, and hope is never lost while there are good people capable and willing to do good things.

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While you were sighing about the lack of teabags in your office’s kitchen, these people were crafting a festive workplace of dreams.

Workers at Viking (the company that supplies office stationery, a fact that will become important imminently) have surprised their colleagues by transforming their office into a giant 247 square metre maze entirely themed around Christmas.

Their magical creation includes scenes of the North Pole, an elf workshop, Bavarian log cabins, an enchanted forest, and – the cherry on top – a meeting room turned into a snowball pit (like a ball pit, but made to look like snow) with 31,000 balls.

Now, before you grumble at your coworkers for not doing the same, it’s important to note that all this work was created primarily with cardboard boxes, of which they used 1,152.

Remember how we said the fact they work for Viking is relevant to this story? Viking sells cardboard boxes. So not only do they have access to quite the supply of materials, but those little elves wouldn’t have got in trouble for wasting company time or using up all the office supplies – especially because the marketing execs then got to use the festivities as a nice little PR boost, promoting Viking as a fun workplace with suitably sturdy cardboard boxes.

Also, the small group of twelve staff responsible created the maze in ten hours of their own time over the weekend, so they didn’t even get away with dossing about on company time.

To those employees we say this: If you weren’t in on the marketing potential of this stunt from the get-go, tasked with turning your office into a giant advert for cardboard, wake up, sheeple. You’ve been used.

And to anyone thinking ‘ugh, I wish my workplace would let us have a giant maze’, remember that true power and freedom isn’t playing with cardboard boxes then staying late to make up for the time you weren’t working, but in being able to make mazes in your own time, whenever you choose.

But on a cheerier, less anti-capitalism note, the resulting maze did seem to be a lot of fun.

People who weren’t in on the project arrived in the office on Monday morning to be surprised by a maze awaiting them.

They then had to navigate their way to their desks, which sounds both fun and immensely agitating. We do hope everyone was given time to grab coffee first.

When they eventually arrived at their desks, each little section had been given its own theme, such as Bavarian log cabins or the North Pole.

And then, of course, there was the meeting room turned into a ballpit.

Once all the fun was had, all of the decoration was carefully disassembled so everything could be reused.

Bob Huibers, Marketing Executive at Viking said: ‘With the dark nights and cold winter setting in, a group of our employees approached us with a plan to do something to help keep up morale in our office.

‘The idea for a giant maze is often the thing of fantasy, so we were absolutely blown away by their creativity when they showed us plans for the maze and didn’t hesitate in supporting them in making it a reality for our wider workforce.

‘The reactions of employees as they entered work on Monday was a sight to behold. The maze made a great talking point for staff throughout the day, giving something for the team to gel over. Plus, it was a great way to spark creativity – what better way than by holding a meeting in a ball pit!’

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If you’ve never enjoyed a Swedish ‘fika’ before, here’s how it works: you get yourself a sugary snack like a cinnamon bun, along with a cup of coffee, and sit down for a natter with someone.

While the concept might sound quite basic, it’s an inherent part of day-to-day life in the Scandinavian country – it’s essentially the equivalent of heading to the pub for a pint.

In the workplace, however, a fika isn’t merely an opportunity to gossip with colleagues.

Because this practice is ingrained in the work culture, a fika is rarely questioned by superiors and people tend to feel quite relaxed with taking them – though it’s normally limited to twice per day.

It’s also almost always done away from one’s desk, allowing people to take a break from their work and reboot.

Studies show that taking regular breaks during work makes us more productive, and it’s also good for our mental health. According to Health Assured, not taking regular breaks may result in anxiety attacks, stress and burnout, among other mental health issues.

One in nearly seven people in the UK experience mental health problems at work, revealed a recent study by the Mental Health Foundation.

What’s more, a separate study by Total Jobs revealed that a third of UK workers don’t leave their desk during their work day, and out of the average lunch break, which is 40 minutes, the average worker only steps out for 27 minutes.

With this in mind, should we be implementing the tradition of a daily fika in the UK?

Iona Townsley, who works as a PR and content executive at Just Travel PR, tells us that her manager first heard about fika in 2018 and, in an effort to get people to look up from their screens, decided to introduce the practice into their office.

‘Now, every morning we take a step away from our desks for roughly 15 minutes, huddle around with a coffee or a tea and indulge in a sweet treat,’ she says.

‘This morning we were treated to a homemade chocolate Christmas tree made from Roses and Celebrations.

‘It gives the opportunity for everyone in the business to catch up while away from their screens. For example, this morning we spoke about the fallout from the Christmas party which we had on Friday.

‘We find that this moment of mindfulness on a morning helps us be more productive as we know where we’re all at with tasks, we have that mid-morning break that lets us go back to our desks feeling refreshed, and helps strengthen our relationship as colleagues.’

Beyond being a successful way to communicate with colleagues, Iona tells us that having a regular fika has also improved her mental health.

‘Having that time away from your work helps me to relax and reorganise my mind in the morning and it definitely helps my overall mood,’ she says.

‘This is the first job I’ve ever taken part in something like this and it is quite surprising how much it helps you to destress.’

Erik Fjellborg who hails from Örebro and lives in Stockholm, runs Quinyx – a company that is focused on workforce management (and how businesses can increase productivity and retain employees).

He tells us why fika is such a successful method in his home country – and why other countries should ‘take a leaf out of Sweden’s book’.

‘We don’t pretend to have all the answers to workplace happiness in Sweden, but as a country known for happiness and productivity we can share some of our insights that may help with optimising employees rather than maximising them,’ he says.

‘Encouraging workers to take time during the day to switch off and rest, massively benefits their mental health, wellbeing and productivity.

‘But the benefits that the fika break creates aren’t just about the physical – fika plays a vital role in allowing colleagues to connect on a social level.

‘Humans are social creatures and creating dedicated time and space for workers to share food and drink with their colleagues has clear mental health benefits. It’s embedded in our culture to think as much about engagement as it is about efficiency.

‘There is a misconception that institutionalising breaks in the workplace will be detrimental to productivity, but actually, Sweden enjoys higher levels of productivity than many countries where breaks aren’t viewed in such a positive light.

‘Other countries should take a leaf out of Sweden’s book: short breaks and greater flexibility are the answer to long term worker wellbeing.’

Investing in positive mental health practices in the workplace isn’t just good for employers, but it could also saves money.

Mental health problems at work costs businesses up to £42billion per year, according to an analysis by Deloitte in 2017.

Tom Watson, who is the co-founder and chief technology officer at HubbleHQ, implemented fika after a Swedish team member suggested it and has seen successful results.

‘Ever since Hanna – a Swedish member of our team – introduced the Scandi “fika” tradition to HubbleHQ, it has been an indispensable part of our week. On Fridays at 4:00pm, we come together to share coffee and cake (or other tasty snacks), and have a good chat.

‘While the treats involved are always top-class, the opportunity that fika gives us to chill out and talk is something we have all grown to love.

‘As a business, taking the time to forge closer relationships with colleagues has done wonders for team bonding; leading to increased productivity, morale, and collaboration on a day-to-day basis.’

However, fika is not a fault-free method to improve mental health – and it might not work for everyone.

‘I’m not Swedish, I’m Romanian by origin, but I lived, studies and worked across both Goteborg and London so I have a strong opinion on the concept of fika,’ Philip, who works as a senior account executive, tells us.

‘I lived in Goteborg, Sweden for two and half years and fika was everywhere, from workplace to university, everyone was sipping on Colombian black coffee like it was Escobar himself selling it.

‘We would stop several times a day to get a fika and a cigarette break, outside or inside, it didn’t matter the weather or time.

‘From a mental perspective it both helped and hindered my mental health.

‘Fika is a great opportunity to take a break from the constant stress of juggling work, have a chat with someone about life and other stuff, even if it’s for 10-15 minutes.

‘But, as much as I loved it, I found myself worrying about my work. I always checked my watch, one eye on the boss to see if he’s checking in on me and often just ended up talking about the work that I just did.

‘The concept of fika is great, it’s a lifestyle for Swedes that like to take it easy, but for anyone else that is not born into it, it could turn into a bit of a syndrome.

‘I dare anyone to introduce it to the UK and you’ll soon end up with a depressed, anxious workforce that will ultimately resent coffee and not enjoy for what it is, which is a 10 mins sip in one hand, whilst in the other clicking on work emails and Twitter.’

Although the Swedish fika might not be for everyone, therapist Sally Baker explains that a break in itself can have a very positive impact on your brain.

That doesn’t mean you have to sit down and eat a cinnamon bun, but you can instead get up and move about to boost your brain activity and encourage positive mental health.

‘It used to only be smokers who got a break from their desks but more people are taking a walk around the block during their working day,’ she tells us.

‘Taking a short walk can improve concentration and the meditative act of walking aids cognition and even stimulates solution driven thinking and a-ha moments.

‘Taking short breaks can lower blood pressure and a physical activity can help to change state from negative, stressful thinking patterns.

‘Taking breaks with colleagues to eat a snack and have a chat helps end the deadlock of emailing colleagues only a desk or two away. This alternative encourages deeper connection and it can be more productive. Eye-to-eye meetings are the gold standard as they are more nuanced and authentic than shooting off texts, messages or emails on the company’s intranet.

‘The very act of making time to eat a snack with work colleagues can help build loyalty and connection amongst co-workers.’

If you’re unsure of what matters most to your employees and what would help improve their overall mental and physical health: ask them.

Maybe it’s a cup of coffee and a snack every couple of hours, maybe it’s not.  It might be offering flexible working where possible or introducing company-wide benefits.

The most important part thing is to build an environment where team members know that they are supported and can have a healthy work-life balance, Sally explains.

‘Employers can improve mental wellbeing of their employees by helping to ensure their workers maintain a healthy work-life balance.

‘Constantly expecting workers to get in early and stay late ignores the duty of care employers have.

‘Workers under pressure for extended periods of time have impaired immune systems and are more prone to anxiety and depression.’

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If you go to Embankment station and get on the Northern Line you’ll hear the famous cries of ‘mind the gap’ as you would in other London stations.

However, at this specific station and on this specific line it isn’t the same announcement you’ll be hearing, and the story behind it is heartbreaking.

A Twitter thread this week revealed the backstory as a welcome faith-in-humanity-booster at this turbulent time, and it’s given us all the feels.

The story – told by John Bull – starts with a woman bursting into tears at Embankment in 2016, begging staff to tell her where ‘the voice’ had gone.

She was referring to the voice of the ‘mind the gap’ announcement, which had been recorded by a man called Oswald Laurence.

Oswald was the woman’s late husband, and she’d come to Embankment (the last station where it was still played) to hear his voice since his passing, seven years earlier.

John said: ‘The woman, a GP called Dr Margaret McCollum, explained that her husband was an actor called Oswald Laurence. Oswald had never become famous, but he HAD been the chap who had recorded all the Northern Line announcements back in the seventies.

‘Oswald’s death had left a hole in Margaret’s heart. But one thing had helped. Every day, on her way to work, she got to hear his voice.

‘Sometimes, when it hurt too much, she explained, she’d just sit on the platform at Embankment and listen to the announcements for a bit longer.

‘For five years, this had become her routine. She knew he wasn’t really there but his voice – the memory of him – was.

‘To everyone else, it had just been another announcement. To HER it had been the ghost of the man she still loved. And now even that had gone.’

The staff apologised to Margaret, telling her that there was nothing they could do, as the system was being digitised. But, touched by her story, they decided to see if they could at least find the recordings of Oswald.

They managed to do more than just that in the end, thanks to some hard work from people across the London Underground network.

As John said, ‘Archives were searched, old tapes found and restored. More people had worked to digitize them. Others had waded through the code of the announcement system to alter it while still more had sorted out the paperwork and got exemptions.’

Margaret was then given a CD of Oswald’s recordings, and his voice was later completely restored at Embankment, back where it had been since 1969.

And that is why today, even in 2019, if you go down to Embankment station in London, and sit on the northbound platform on Northern Line, you will here a COMPLETELY different voice say Mind the Gap to ANYWHERE else on the Underground.

It's Oswald.

Merry Christmas everyone.

— John Bull (@garius) December 11, 2019

London Underground director Nigel Holness said at the time: ‘We were very touched by her story, so staff tracked down the recording and not only were they able to get a copy of the announcement on CD for her to keep but are also working to restore the announcement at Embankment station.’

Margaret isn’t the only one to be attached to the announcements either.

Elinor Hamilton is one of the ‘voices of the tube’ along with her late husband Paul Sayers, with whom she ran a voiceover company.

Like Margaret, Elinor still loves to hear her husband’s voice when she travels to London, and said in an episode of podcast Everything is Alive: ‘I actually quite like the fact that obviously nobody else would know that this is so special for me.

‘And I just love the fact that he’s still there just getting on with life and directing people to where they need to go – and just being part of the furniture of London.’

Also like Margaret, Elinor was sad to know that his voice had been removed from some lines.

She said: ‘He used to be the main voice at Waterloo until about a year and a bit ago and when somebody told me that he’d gone from Waterloo I grieved again as if I’d lost him.

‘You know, it affected me that much knowing that his voice was just slowly being taken away.’

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We love a crafty DIY – especially if it’s for the benefit of dogs.

Take this ‘stick library’, created by toolmaker Andrew Taylor, 59.

Andrew was trimming trees at the side of his house in Kaiapoi, New Zealand, when he came up with a way to put the branches he cut off to good use.

He collected the branches and sanded them to be nice and smooth, then engraved a box with the words ‘stick library’.

The idea is that dogs who fancy a game of fetch can borrow a stick whenever they fancy.

Andrew dropped off the box in a newly opened park so all the dogs in the neighbourhood would have easy access to toys.

The dad’s daughter, Tayla Reece, shared photos and videos of the ‘stick library’ online. We’re glad she did – it’s an adorable idea and one we hope other people will copy in their own local area.

‘Our dog Bella had become a stick lover because she ripped to shreds any balls or toys,’ said Tayla.

‘While trimming the trees, my dad found himself with a lot of dead branches, and knowing from experience how hard it can be to find a good stick, and that the new dog park was opening soon, he had the idea that he would save them and put them in some kind of box.

‘When the park opened on November 30, mum and dad took Bella and sure enough there were no good sticks.

‘Dad is the type of guy that is always thinking of things to make, so the next day he found a suitable crate and made the sign for the top.

‘He decided to call it the stick library because it implied that you return the stick once you’re finished with it.’

Andrew’s invention has been a hit with dogs and their owners at the park.

Tayla invited Kaiapoi residents to meet at the park on 11 December to give the toy box a go – and loads of people came along.

‘Approximately 50 people turned up with their dogs and one guy even brought his cat,’ said Tayla.

‘As people started to arrive there was a disbelief of how simple the idea was, but it’s one of those ideas no one had thought of.

‘All the dog owners appreciate it as they all have experienced the ‘good stick search’ which isn’t always fruitful, it’s an idea that just makes sense to them.’

Have you completed a strangely brilliant DIY project? Get in touch to tell us more by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk. 

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If you’ve ever begged and pleaded with your parents to get you a dogs/”>dog, you’ll understand the plight of 18-year-old Kayla Severi.

Her mum, Melissa, 38, said that it was ‘never going to happen’, but Kayla wasn’t going to take a no lying down.

In one last attempt at getting herself a pooch, the teenager from New South Wales, Australia, came up with an ingenious plan to prove to her mum that she both deserves an adorable Staffordshire bull terrier – and will be able to take care of it.

She wrote a CV, along with a cover letter detailing her commitment to the job.

The best part? It worked.

‘I have two family dogs already, but my friend sent me a Snapchat of his cousin who is selling some puppies,’ said Kayla, who works as a pizza maker.

‘I’ve been wanting one for ages and it’s Christmas, so I finally got the money from working all year and I feel like I’m old enough now to have my own dog and care for it.

‘I live with mum, so at the end of the day it’s her house and her rules and if she doesn’t want a puppy, I won’t be able to get one.

‘She already said that it wasn’t going to happen, but I didn’t want to give up that easily.

‘I decided that my best chances for her to say yes was if I asked her in a really creative way.’

Creative is definitely the word for it; the CV includes a photo of Kayla, along with her contact detail and a heartfelt cover letter.

‘Dear mummy, I am writing to express my interest in owning my own pet dog, a male Staffy that is nine weeks old, the letter reads.

‘I am in the financial and mental state to own this animal. I also possess the abilities and qualifications of an animal owner. I strongly believe I am an excellent candidate for this position.’

Kayla then goes on to list her skills.

The letter reads: ‘I have excellent time management skills – which I believe to be beneficial for training and exercising the dog. I have hella money – enough to cover the costs of this animal.

‘I am your favourite daughter. I solemnly swear on cheesecake and all things holy to take into consideration the time and expenses of owning a pet.

‘My best quality is love and kindness – and I love you a lot. I also love this dog a lot. Thank you for taking the time to read and consider my application, and I hope to hear from you shortly.’

We can see why her mum might have had a hard time saying no after receiving this fantastic job application.

In addition to the cover letter, Kayla included a lengthy ‘essay’ with information on how having a puppy could help her mental health and improve her ‘money-handling skills’.

Kayla said: ‘So, I wrote an 800-word essay about statistics on how a puppy would benefit my mental health and also boost my companionship, responsibility and money-handling skills.

‘I made a resume and cover letter as well, just to show her that I’d be well suited for the role of a responsible dog owner.

‘I went to the shops and bought her some lollies as well, just to put her in an even better mood.’

At first, her mum found the situation very humorous and burst out laughing – but she still said no.

However, eventually – after reading the application again – she reconsidered and Kayla finally got her Christmas wish.

Her beautiful puppy, Bandit, arrived shortly after.

Kayla said: ‘When she got home, I’d laid out the lollies and my work on the kitchen table, and then I asked her there and then for a puppy.

‘She walked in and saw it and just said “hell no!” and started laughing.

‘I just said but I really want it and asked her to have a look at everything I’d done. She finally gave in. It took a lot of convincing, me just asking her wasn’t really enough so I had to try extra hard.

‘I honestly didn’t expect my idea to work, but figured it was worth a try. Now Bandit has joined our little family and I couldn’t be happier.

‘Everyone has completely fallen in love with him and I’m so happy I had the silly idea to make a resume and cover letter.

‘I’d definitely recommend this to other kids for their parents. It worked on my mum, so you never know – it could work on other people too!’

Take note, people – this is how to get yourself a puppy.

Because, let’s face it, Santa can only do so much.

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Mo Fayose, 45, has hosted community Christmas dinners and delivered free meals to disabled and elderly people in Nottingham since 2016.

It’s now become an annual tradition; this year, she will bring together 50 people from the local area who don’t have anywhere else to turn during the holiday season.

Mo, along with her family, friends and volunteers, will also deliver 87 meals to people who are unable to leave their homes.

If you aren’t reaching for the tissues yet, it’s time to get them now.

During Christmas 2017, Mo became a local celebrity as the Nottingham Post shared a story about her wonderful initiative, along with a photo of Mo and an elderly lady named Sandra, who is now 73 years old.

Almost a year later, she received a call from a woman named Jackie, who told Mo that Sandra is her long-lost cousin. Jackie had searched far and wide for her family member, but had no luck until she spotted the photo of the pair.

This was the beginning of a family reunion of epic proportions.

‘I used to run a premises where people come for meals and things like that, and Sandra was referred to me by another person comes to my dinners,’ Mo tells us.

‘It was close to Christmas, so they were supporting her.

‘During Christmas 2017, the Nottingham Post did a picture of myself and her, and the following year in September, I received a call from a lady who said “Please, I Googled the name of my cousin that I’ve been looking for for many years and your picture with her came up. Are you still in touch with her?”

‘I was in New York at the time, but we agreed that we would speak more once I got back to the UK and I would speak with Sandra.’

At the time, Sandra didn’t have any known family members. Her mother and brother had died years earlier, and she lives alone in a flat provided by an independent living scheme for elderly people.

‘Sandra spoke to her cousin on the phone, and a few weeks later I went with her to London to meet her family,’ says Mo.

‘More of less the whole family was there, including people who live all over – someone came from Lincoln, others from Berkshire and different parts of London,. They all just came together to see her, and even took a picture of their family tree to give to Sandra when she arrived.’

The reunion had a very happy ending, and Sandra is over the moon about finally seeing her family again and meeting her cousin’s children.

‘It was so nice to see them, after all these years,’ Sandra tells Metro.co.uk.

‘It was great, so lovely. My family are coming up to Nottingham to see me, too, I don’t know when because I’ve been through a rough patch – I was recently run over and keep losing my energy.

‘But I’m going to Mo’s dinner again this year, I made friends there last year. They’re all nice people.’

Her cousin, Jackie, explains that the pair lost touch after her aunt, Sandra’s mum, died.

‘It was brilliant, it was really good because we’d lost track,’ her cousin Jackie, 72, tells Metro.co.uk.

‘As children, we used to spend a lot of time at my nan’s but we lost track of Sandra when her mum died. We’d been to the funeral but there was just no communication.

‘I’d been promised it from an in-law but I didn’t get that, but periodically I would go online and type her surname, it’s quite unusual.

‘So I’d just type in her name and it came up with this photograph of Sandra and Mo at this event that Mo is running for people with Sandra at Christmas. 

‘All of my children were there [at the reunion], it was 10 of us altogether.

‘She’d met one of the cousins, Andrew, before – he’d been at her mum’s funeral – but she hadn’t met any of my children or my grandson.’

Sandra returned the following year to spend more time with her family – and she also celebrated her 73rd birthday with them in November, 2019.

Mo’s annual Christmas dinner is still a staple event in her calendar.

‘We pick up and drop off people all day’, Mo says.

‘We’ve got a couple of people who were house-bond for many years, as well as carers and wheelchair users. There are also couples who come along and single parents who would otherwise spend it alone.

‘This year, we are concentrating more on delivery because many people are housebound and need the meal, but also because it’s a chance for them to see someone that day apart from their carer.’

Mo will be doing most of the cooking herself, with the help of her son and two daughters, and also pays for most of the ingredients out of her own pocket.

‘I buy the food most of the time myself, it’s very expensive,’ she says.

‘I don’t rely on free donations and try to stay away from them, because we like to have everything the same for everybody. If we start to get donations from everybody, it’s quite difficult to count.

‘This year, we don’t just have a traditional Christmas meal, but we’ve got chicken, we’ve got beef and chicken curry, as well as Christmas pudding, banana and custard, jelly and ice cream, and more. All the deliveries will include a drink as well.

Mo funds most of the event herself, which can cost several thousand pounds.

‘The truth is I love it, and I’ve got a very, very lovely community. They chip in here and there, a few people have consistently donated money over the last few years – £50 or £100 when they can.

‘I don’t feel the constraints of the finances, not when you see that it makes people smile.’

Well, we know who is going to be on Santa’s nice list – forever.

Have you got an amazing Christmas story that we should know about? Get in touch: metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk

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Stuck in a rut? Hoping to make a big life change in 2020? Looking to put the UK firmly in your rearview mirror?

You’re not alone, as Google searches on ‘How to move to Canada’ have spiked as of late.

This makes sense, given the country came third place (behind Sweden and Denmark) in the US News & World Report’s 2019 Best Countries List for women, which took into account human rights, gender equality, income equality, progress and safety of 80 countries.

That’s not to mention its lush landscapes and the fact that one of the country’s two official languages are English.

But how exactly does one go about moving to Canada, and what administrative and bureaucratic hurdles have to be overcome in order to get there?

Find out here.

How to immigrate to Canada

Okay, so it’s not quite as easy as just packing a bag and taking off. First of all, you need to figure out the legal requirements to make the move.

Have you got family in Canada? Your relatives may be able to sponsor you, as long as they are a Canadian citizen or permanent resident.

If you’re a skilled worker, you can also apply via the Express Entry route, which uses a points-based system.

You’ll be asked questions about your nationality, age, language ability (namely, French language), education, work experience and information about any job offers.

After this is completed, you will be assessed and given a score out of 1,200.

Unless you have a job offer lined up, your chances largely rest on whether or not your job is on their shortage list.

If you’re looking for a shorter-term move and are aged between 18 and 30, you may be able to apply via the government’s International Experience Canada scheme.

Once your application is submitted, you’ll enter a pool and then it’s pot-luck whether or not you get picked.

If successful, you can get a working visa for up to 2 years.

What other countries have free healthcare?

When thinking about moving abroad, it’s important to think about what priorities are important to you.

Is it more sun? (Canada might be out in that case). Is it better food? (Canada has poutine to its name, which is saying something)

For many people, the offer of free and good healthcare is a big factor in whether or not they choose to move somewhere.

Unsurprisingly, Canada tops the list when it comes to this factor too.

According to the Healthcare Access & Quality Index, which looks at health infrastructure, basic mental and physical health, and the availability of preventative care, the following countries have the best healthcare:

• Canada
• Qatar
• France
• Norway
• New Zealand
• Germany
• Hong Kong
• The Netherlands
• Switzerland
• Singapore
• Luxembourg
• Japan
• Sweden

Is it worth battling the bureaucracy? We think it might be.

For more information, you can go to the official website of the Canadian Government or check out this helpful ‘how-to’ infographic.

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Britain’s best Christmas lights display has been revealed, and it’s a total cracker.

A family from Buckinghamshire won the competition run by a price comparison website, and their masses of hard work has paid off.

Tony Shepherd, 63, from Marlow Bottom, uses an astronomical 60,000 lights on his family home, all of which are synchronised to 15 Christmas songs. Each song takes 20 hours to programme.

That’s a whopping 300 hours of programming alone, before they’ve even spent time putting up the numerous strings of lights.

Tony uses Light O Rama software and hardware to make the impressive lighting move with the music, and people come from miles around to get in the Christmas spirit.

The lights are on every day from 4pm to 11pm, with the musical part of their display running from 5pm to 9pm each night. They even have a schedule so people can get ready for each song.

The Shepherd family run their display every year, and have raises thousands for different charities, with people who come to see the spectacle offering up donations.

At their light switch-on on 1 December, over 150 people turned out so see the house, and the efforts have raised almost £3,000 this year already.

As the prize, which comes from MoneyExpert.com, the Shepherds will get £500 towards their – probably astronomical – electricity bill. Tony, however, has decided to donate this to charity.

Following his win, Tony said: ‘We create our display every Christmas, and it’s become a local tradition for visitors from far afield to come and see our lights!

‘We’ve raised over £30,000 for charity over the past three years, so I can’t wait to see how much we can raise for the Charlie Waller Memorial Trust this year!’

Tony’s win comes after MoneyExpert.com’s research revealed that Brits will spend £222 million on Christmas lights this season, with energy bills expected to increase by a third for households like The Shepherd’s.

Jason Smith, CEO of MoneyExpert.com, said: ‘Our research found that 1 in 5 British households decorate their homes for the local community. Tony’s epic display stood out as embodying the true spirit of Christmas, in particular as it helps to raise so much needed funds for deserving charities.

Christmas is one of the most costly times of the year, but it still isn’t too late to save yourself some unnecessary expenses by switching energy providers.’

Are you going crazy for Christmas this year? Get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk.

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Most people have at some point or another in their lives woken up with a sore head and memories of a wild night out that makes them blush.

We’ve all been there; throwing up in unusual places, getting into arguments with friends over something we can’t even remember or just generally doing something embarrassing (flashing a nipple to the bartender, perhaps).

While friends and family are usually quite forgiving, and will often accept a simple apology, making a fool of one’s self at a Christmas office party is a completely different issue – and it could get you fired.

Did your boss see you make out with someone in her office?

Did you finally tell your annoying colleague how much you loathe him, loudly and in front of everyone else?

Did you get super drunk and stumble around the room, crying on various shoulders?

Firstly, take a deep breath. Everything is going to be OK, but what you do next could be crucial for your work reputation and for your future employment.

Here’s what you should do if you embarrass yourself at the office Christmas party.

Ask yourself: was it really all that bad?

Dr Jonathan Pointer, a chartered clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, explains that, before you panic, you should take an honest look at the situation.

‘When something “embarrassing” happens to us, it is too easy to see it as a huge event, i.e. make a mountain out of molehill, and think that there will be terrible repercussions (such as being mercilessly laughed at forever) and more importantly, that we will not be able to tolerate or manage this experience,’ he tells Metro.co.uk.

‘Recognise that we tend to over-estimate risks. In this case, we may think that everyone will have noticed what happened, that everyone will be judging us in ways we would rather they did not, and perhaps even imagine that what we did may have serious repercussions for us.

‘In reality, most people probably did not notice much, that what happened was a much bigger event in our minds than in theirs, and that they were probably more focused on their own faux pas to give our embarrassing moment much room for thought.’

But what if it really was as bad as you imagine?

Take another deep breath.

What to do if you’ve definitely embarrassed yourself

Don’t try to resolve the matter on the same night, if you’re still drunk.

It’s better to approach the situation with a clear head, Amanda Augustine, careers expert at TopCV, tells us. Start by doing some reconnaissance, so that you have all the information you need.

‘In the event that you may need to do some damage control after waking up the next morning with dread and a headache, follow these steps,’ says Amanda.

‘Perform a retrospective. Take a moment to take stock of the previous night.

‘What did you do or say that may have been damaging and who else was involved? Can you think of anyone who may have witnessed something particularly damning?

‘Don’t assume the worst right off the bat. Find out what happened from a colleague you trust before plotting your next move.

‘Follow up. It’s important to make any necessary apologies to those who were directly involved or offended as a result of your mishap.

‘This is particularly important it if affected your direct manager or peers.

‘Whenever possible, do this face-to-face and in a room where you have privacy.’

Having to deal with an awkward situation where you have to admit that you messed up can be difficult and anxiety-inducing.

Try not to punish yourself too much, and – if an apology isn’t enough – think of practical solutions to the problems, Dr Pointer adds.

‘The tip here is to remember that most people tend to underestimate their ability to manage events in life, both the trivial as well as the more serious ones,’ he says.

‘In actual fact, we have the resources both inside and outside of ourselves to survive most things.

‘It can be helpful to practice being solution-focused rather than problem-saturated. To do this, we can imagine the embarrassing event in our mind, and instead of stopping the film in our heads when everything is at its worse (for example, imagining that everyone is laughing at us or that we have got the sack!), we choose to actively keep the film playing past that point, and ask ourselves “how would I cope then?”.

‘Then notice the next thing that our minds throw up for us, and again ask, “how would I cope then?”.

‘Keep thinking of solutions to potential problems, and you will find that you can manage most things in life, and then the embarrassment and anxiety related to it, starts to drop away.’

While you should own up to what has happened, don’t forget to be kind to yourself.

Dr Pointer says: ‘However, when we have low self-esteem, it can be harder to manage situations that leave us feeling embarrassed, and in some cases, this can lead to feelings of shame.

‘This tends to happen when we have grown up being too hard on ourselves, and therefore think that others will judge us as harsh as we judge ourselves.

‘If this is the case, then it can be helpful to practice loving-kindness mantras.

‘This may seem “over the top” or “woolly nonsense”. However, research shows that doing mantras, whereby we focus on expressing loving intentions towards ourselves and others, is helpful.’

You can’t change the past, but you can try to do better in the future.

Rob Sowerby, who is the director of professional courses at London School of Business and Finance, points out that merely an apology isn’t enough: you need to show that you’re serious about what happened, and that you’re going to be on your ‘A-game’ going forward.

‘Firstly, apologise to anyone you feel you may have offended or caused embarrassment to,’ he tells us.

‘This can go a long way and shows you have an understanding of your actions and that you’re keen to make up to them. This includes all colleagues and – yes (if they were there) – your boss too.

‘Secondly, you’ll need to make up for this in your professionalism.

‘Be on your A-game for the foreseeable future and look to impress. Replace others’ embarrassing memories of you with one you’d prefer.

‘However, remember that depending on exactly how you may have caused embarrassment, some might still be unsure of how you’re going to behave around them.

‘So be tactful, don’t force your presence on colleagues in eagerness to make up for the party and otherwise be yourself.

‘Lastly, think about the next work party. Remember how you’re feeling now and this will temper your behaviour before you even RSVP.

‘Every mistake is a learning opportunity.’

If your Christmas party is around the corner, and you’re worried about what may happen, remember that the best way to avoid an ‘anxiety hangover’ is to not do anything that you’d feel embarrassed about the next morning.

Be careful with open bars as well (to help you out, we’ve put together a useful guide on how to be a ‘mindful drinker’ during the holiday party season).

Then again, no one’s perfect – don’t forget to have fun, too.

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Can you imagine the horror this dad felt when he saw his baby’s face looking out at him from inside the washing machine?

That’s exactly what happened to a Twitter user a few weeks back, but thankfully it wasn’t his actual baby.

Instead, it was a t-shirt that featured his child’s face, which proved a huge relief when he found out.

The image was originally shared by xnned on Twitter, who said they were nearly taken to the hospital with a heart attack after the shock.

It has since gone viral sharing site Imgur, however, after user ARussianAndHisBike shared the picture with a warning.

They alerted others from getting a similar fright, saying: ‘Please, if you are ever washing your favorite shirt with a picture of your child on it, just put a warning note on the washer or something.’

Imgur users saw the funny side, and one said ‘How else am I supposed to wash the baby, Karen?’ while another quipped, ‘It helps if the baby doesn’t look terrified on the shirt too.’

Some others took a minute to realise it was just a t-shirt, with one saying ‘GOOD GRIEF’ in relation to not seeing the warning that it wasn’t a real baby.

The photo has now been viewed hundreds of thousands of times, and liked over 3,000.

In practical advice, one person suggested turning the shirt inside out to avoid situations like this, and mentioned that it’d also have the added affect of helping preserve the image.

That’s way less fun, though.

If that didn’t give you enough of a laugh in these trying times, why not have a look at Porridge the naughty dog, who has decimated his owner’s house with his chaotic ways.

Do you have a funny story to tell? Get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

Fiona Oakes is an extreme endurance runner. She has broken four Guinness World Records and runs in some of the world’s most inhospitable climates, including the polar ice caps and volcanic rings.

Fiona has achieved all of this with a disability. She lost a kneecap in an injury when she was 17 and doctors told her she would never walk again, let alone run. Despite this – it’s her vegan diet that causes people to question her ability.

‘I have been vegan far longer than I have been a runner,’ Fiona tells Metro.co.uk. ‘I actually became vegan when I was six years old, and I have honestly never found my veganism too difficult or compromising to any aspect of my life.

‘I think the biggest misconception people have about veganism is that it isn’t healthy – but I’m testament to the fact it is.

‘I’ve broken four Guinness World Records for running, having been vegan for 47 years now, and I’m very healthy.

‘I built my athletic strength on a plant-based diet, and all this despite my permanent disability.’

Fiona has faced skepticism and disbelief throughout her running career when it comes to her dietary choices. She thinks it’s vital to change perceptions about what people can achieve on a vegan diet.

‘When I ran the Marathon des Sables in 2017, I took a film crew with me who were making a documentary about my life – Running for Good.

‘The director asked the guys I was sharing my tent with; “what do you think about Fiona?” And one answer was; “she’s not what I expected a vegan to be like.”

‘Remember, this is almost three years ago, before the meteoric rise of vegan and plant-based living, but I can only assume he didn’t expect a vegan woman to be out in the Sahara Desert, running the toughest footrace on the planet for the third time.

‘After decades of veganism, my goal when I started running was to break down the myths and stereotypes attached to it at that time, in that it was some way deficient, hardly adequate and prohibitive to doing anything more than sedentary activity.’

Fiona says that one of the toughest moments of her career was the first time she competed in Marathon des Sables in 2012.

Having decided to move up in distance from road running, Fiona was going to be the first vegan woman to tackle the race – and there was quite a buzz about it online.

The event itself is unbelievably gruelling. It’s a week-long, self-sufficiency, multi-stage race across the Sahara Desert, where temperatures can exceed 50 degrees and the terrain is extremely hostile.

If any sand gets into your shoes it can cause ferocious blistering.

‘I have actually known of people’s feet becoming so blistered that they needed skin grafts,’ says Fiona.

What made this first epic race so incredibly difficult, was that one week before the starting gun, one of the elderly horses – from the animal sanctuary Fiona started in the 90s – had stood on her foot, fractures two toes and caused horrendous swelling.

‘I won’t go into detail but by 82km, I could actually see the bone sticking out of my little toe,’ Fiona remembers.

‘My foot was absolutely smashed to a pulp but I managed to keep going and keep strong enough to complete the race. I proves that anything is possible if you want it badly enough.’

Running non-stop, for hours at a time – through punishing conditions – seems unimaginable for most of us. Fiona says the real struggle is often mental rather than physical.

‘Ultramarathons are a state of mind rather than body for me,’ she explains. ‘Because I come from an elite road running background I am used to running quite high weekly mileage – around 160km – so I have the physical base fitness to carry me through, but the mental side of things in ultras is what is different.

‘You have to manage your body and your mind carefully and always try to look for the positives rather than focussing on the negatives – which can quickly seem overwhelming if you dwell on them.’

She says the intense, multi-stage races take her to some ‘pretty dark places’, and often she has to really battle to keep her demons in check.

‘You are out there, day-in day-out, on your feet for hours, really pushing through the pain. However, the long-term benefits far outweigh the short-term inconveniences, pain and struggles.

‘They teach you so much about yourself and, strangely enough, even though you literally have nothing apart from what you carry on your back, you have everything because you have the freedom and the ability to be there.

‘When you return to your day-to-day life, even the most seemingly trivial events – like turning on a tap and fresh, drinkable water miraculously appearing – is something to behold and cherish.’

Fiona says running enriches every element of her life, and she is deeply grateful for everything it brings her.

‘I love the freedom of being out in the wilderness and the new and exciting experiences and adventures running always uncovers,’ she explains.

She adds that it isn’t difficult adapting a vegan diet to enable her to achieve such physical extremes – it’s just about working out exactly what your body needs.

‘Like any other diet, the main thing is that you find the correct nutritional balance for your particular lifestyle,’ says Fiona.

‘Mine has always been very active. I used to cycle 30 miles each way in to London to work, and now spend any time I’m not running caring for our 550 rescued animals at the animal sanctuary I founded 25 years ago.

‘I don’t fixate over my diet, but I have learned over the years to listen to what my body is telling me and act accordingly.

‘I don’t think there is one set eating plan which suits all as everyone’s needs are different – but basically I adhere to a whole grain diet including plenty of fresh, seasonal, locally sourced vegetables and fruits.’

Fiona says that her convinction in her beliefs is what makes her a strong woman.

‘For the animals, the planet, other human beings, personal health and the future, my veganism is at the core of all I do.

‘It encapsulates justice and compassion for all – something I have always been passionate about.’

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‘I wonder what will happen to the toilets when we hit the storm?’ I mused to fellow sailor Nigel as we eyed the black clouds ahead.

‘Well, it turns into a kind of pube soup, with everything swishing around in there,’ he said with a weak smile.

This was just one of many moments when I asked myself what the hell I was doing.

I had signed up for the second leg of the Clipper Round the World Yacht Race and was currently being bashed around somewhere on the South Atlantic on a 70ft boat, on the way from Punta del Este in Uruguay to Cape Town, South Africa – a distance of around 3,600 nautical miles.

For the 16-day voyage, we had no shower, only a hand pump toilet and we had to operate on shift patterns – 4 hours on, 4 hours off.

Sleeping was also in shifts and we had to ‘hotbunk’ – share a bunk bed with the other watch group.

We had a very limited luggage allowance and I’d managed to strip back my packing to the absolute minimum, with just 4 pairs of underwear and a warm hat among my most trusty possessions.

Before we left Uruguay, the founder of the Clipper Round the World Yacht Race Sir Robin Knox-Johnston (the man who single-handedly completed a non-stop circumnavigation in 1969) said that where we were going was ‘somewhere where most people haven’t been’.

Just a few days into the race, I understood what he meant.

The landscape

I’d been kayaking through remote jungle and trekked across deserts but the South Atlantic was one of the most inhospitable landscapes I’d ever encountered.

There wasn’t another vessel to be seen as we charged through the waves and there were only a few birds brave enough to surf the whipping winds.

As we learned a bad storm was set to hit (up to 70 knots / 80 mph of wind), an ominous feeling grew.

The screens in the navigation room glowed bright red, signalling the bad weather. In a bid to keep ahead in the race, we opted to ride through the eye of it.

Katabatic winds like machine gun fire peppered the waves with pock marks, before rapidly retreating, preparing to come back for the next round of fire.

Violent flurries of white froth appeared like spit from the Gods while waves pounded our boat.

At times, the sun attempted to shine but was smothered by grey. The wind howled, reminding me of the haunting cries of monkeys I’d heard in the Amazon jungle, and it whistled through the sails like blows on a panpipe.

As 9 metre waves rolled towards us, I thought to myself, ‘if there be a hell, let this be it’. As fellow sailor Diego from Colombia said of the weather one day: ‘It felt like I was drunk, blindfolded and trying to fight five people.’

I’m more used to the mountains, where if bad weather hits, you can retreat or seek shelter. In the ocean you’re at the mercy of nature and there is nowhere to hide.

Living with 23 people on a 70ft boat

As I tried to sleep, waves pummelled the boat, sounding like bomb blasts.

I was in the top bunk, so my head hit the ceiling when the boat lurched. I had to wedge my mattress against the thin lee cloth to stop myself falling out.

Condensation dripped from the ceiling as the days went on, meaning everything was damp, even the inside of my sleeping bag.

As our voyage continued and sleep deprivation set in, tempers frayed among the crew and there were heated words exchanged and tears at times.

I’d been warned before setting out that the Clipper Round the World Yacht Race is 80 per cent about the people and 20 per cent about the sailing. I could see this was totally true. It’s a pretty crazy social experiment!

There were 23 people on our boat Punta del Este (sponsored by the namesake city we left from in Uruguay) for Leg 2, with the youngest being 24 and the oldest 71.

Many of the crew were Spanish, including our bubbly skipper Jeronimo Santos Gonzalez, which meant there were language divides at times. The main issue though was living on top of each other.

In bad weather, there was nowhere to hang out other than the saloon and we all filed in like penguins, our damp, unwashed bodies rubbing against each other.

Halfway through the trip people started coming down with flu, including myself, and we all put more effort into trying to reduce the spread of germs with extra pumps of the hand sanitiser and coughing into our elbows.

Sea sickness was also a constant curse, although it was worse for people at the beginning of the voyage and everyone gradually got their sea legs.

Cooking at sea

Despite the rough weather, thankfully the deliciously warming meals continued to roll.

Our boat was full of keen chefs and there were always some great smells coming from the minuscule galley.

Before leaving Uruguay we stocked up on fresh produce, using Leg 1 as an indicator of what we would need.

Things on the shopping list included: 240 eggs, 25kg of apples, 10kg of onions and copious amounts of coffee – thanks to the heads up we got that it ran out on the trip from London to Uruguay.

We all took it in turns to be ‘mothers’ (cooks) for the day, and we worked in pairs to produce breakfast at 7am, lunch at 12.30pm, cake for the afternoon and dinner at 6pm.

There was a cookbook with simple recipes but some of the more experimental chefs went ‘off piste’.

For instance, Antonio from Uruguay made a delicious stew using some vegetarian sausages he found, while Jim from Derby made a very tasty Asian salad using one of the cabbages which was slowly starting to brown.

To keep energy levels up (we were told we would burn up to 5,000 calories a day at sea) there were lots of snacks scattered around, with unsalted peanuts and chocolate chip cookies a favourite.

Many people on our boat joked that the race was the most expensive diet plan going (each leg of the race averages around £5,000 plus training costs), with most people losing round 7kg on each leg.

Even walking around was exercise as you had to hold on to ropes and hand bars to stop yourself from falling as the yacht tilted over.

I noticed my abs were tighter along with my arm muscles and my trousers started to feel a bit loose.

The highlights

After 16 days at sea, I can safely say the voyage across the South Atlantic on Leg 2 of the Clipper Round the World Yacht Race was certainly an experience I will never forget.

I wouldn’t describe it as ‘enjoyable’, but for me, many of my best adventures are those that don’t seem enjoyable at the time, but you feel a great sense of achievement afterwards.

At the end of more than two arduous weeks, we’d crossed a vast stretch of water where very few people in history have been before.

I will always remember the dazzling night sky the day we left Uruguay, with the Milky Way and Southern Cross clearly visible. Then topping things off, a whale came very close to our boat and we could hear it pushing water through its blowhole.

Leaving Punta del Este as a team with all the crowds cheering was incredible, as was seeing land for the first time after 16 days at sea.

‘Land ahoy!’ we all cheered. Jim said as we bounced towards the harbour: ‘I’m just starting to realise what we’ve achieved.’

Meeting such interesting people from all different walks of life was an enriching experience. We all learned from each other.

Diego said the voyage made him realise how little we need in life, while David, a veterinarian from Minnesota said he was actually looking forward to going back to work after such a brutal time at sea. A perk of it all I guess!

Our boat came in second place (out of 11), but unfortunately, we breached race rules by getting too close to shore and we were bumped down to fourth.

Back on land, a shower had never felt so good and it was good to sleep in a bed with no risk of being thrown out.

Time is a great healer and as my bruises faded and I watched my comrades set off on Leg 3 of the race, it suddenly looked kind of appealing again…

I take my hat off to those continuing on the voyage, doing multiple legs or the full circumnavigation.

The race is set to finish back in London in August 2020. Fair winds and following seas to all!

Sadie’s place on the Clipper Round the World Yacht Race is supported by musto.com, the technical clothing partner for the 2019-20 and 2021-22 editions of the event. More articles on the racing experiences to come.

Her gym training is sponsored by Anytime Fitness.   

I was 27 when it happened. My face exploded with cysts and nodules that antibiotics couldn’t clear and makeup couldn’t hide.

It wasn’t the first time – I’d suffered with adult acne on and off for 10 years – but it was the worst, and it wholly broke me.

Then, after two months of unrelenting spots, my partner of almost four years suddenly left me. To this day, I’m not entirely sure why.

I suspect he wanted a life change and I was simply collateral, but I’ve always wondered if my acne played a part. Was I too much? Did I cry too many times after removing my makeup? Did the sight of my inflamed, weeping spots make him feel sick? I couldn’t blame him – I wanted to claw my skin off every time I caught my reflection.

At the time it confirmed my worst fear – that acne had rendered me unlovable and now I had to date with it.

Acne is horrendously painful: the cysts hurt and your skin cracks constantly. I will never forget the sensation of feeling my skin rip during a meeting and not knowing if it was pus or blood trickling from it.

But it is emotionally taxing, too. Complaints of breakouts are often seen as vanity – even by doctors – but it’s far from skin deep: there is a stigma attached to it, that it’s caused by poor hygiene or bad diet.

So, face full of spots and suddenly single, I set up a dating profile while debating if using a picture from four months prior when I was spot-free was technically catfishing. 

The first date I went on in four years started with a 30-minute skincare routine while hunched over a sink at work. I left to a chorus of well-intentioned ‘you can hardly notice it’ – knowing it was a lie.

The date went well but half way through I realised I had no contingency plan for if it went really well.

The sheer volume of products required to cleanse, dry out and hide acne doesn’t lend itself to spontaneous overnight stays, and sleeping in makeup is definitely not an option. 

Instead, I got blackout drunk and hoped that the confidence gained from two bottles of red would see me through. The night ended with a kiss and a text a week later explaining he didn’t ‘see a future’.

I continued in this way, steeling myself before dates with yoghurt masks and layers of foundation, too terrified to stay the night.

No one ever said anything, they probably barely noticed, but all I could see was their eyes darting around my face, pupils dilating with panic when a flash of light revealed my true complexion. 

Acne is aggressive, rapidly changing, consuming and demoralising. It is the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see at night. Bookending your day like that does something to your psyche and, just as my ex had months before, I fell out of love with myself.

I continued dating, or at least attempting to, but it was miserable. I spent more time cancelling because of a sudden flare up than I did actually meeting anyone. I became totally obsessed with how awful I looked. 

I finally started a treatment of accutane, a medication that’s used to treat acne over a six-month period. It’s a toxic substance that can have severe side effects, but I was tired of feeling like my life was on hold every time a breakout worsened.

I responded well and my skin improved almost immediately – but it took seeing myself through someone else’s eyes to really start healing.

I matched with my current partner while on a trip to Copenhagen to figure out if I could live there. A fellow Brit who’d moved years prior, we immediately bonded over our shared love of the city and the quirks of Danish culture.

For our first date, he sprang a lunch date on me on a ‘good skin day’ – I’d felt brave enough to give my face a break from makeup, which meant I was unprepared and barefaced, sitting in broad daylight with scars and spots.

But after weeks of messaging, the thought of sitting miserably at my desk at work instead of meeting a boy who’d made me smile for the first time in weeks seemed inconceivably stupid.

He was disarming, put me instantly at ease, and looked at me so intently that for a brief moment I forgot I had acne. I went back to the office amazed that I could feel comfortable with someone I hardly knew, despite having none of the armour I’d got accustomed to.

To this day, if you ask him about my acne he’ll tell you he never thought it was that bad, because he genuinely never noticed. Instead, he saw me the way I wanted to see myself: vibrant, happy, full of life.

Realising someone loved me – warts and all – reminded me that I deserved that love all along. No one abandoned me because I had acne, I had simply abandoned myself.

I never saw acne as a part of who I was, it was an alien that had rooted itself in me, feeding like a parasite. But you cannot separate these things so the disgust I had for my skin was just disgust for myself.

My skin is clear now and truthfully, my life is better for it, but I like to think that if my acne came back tomorrow I would still love myself and expect to be loved fully by others. 

Insecurities only carry the weight that we give to them and I’ve decided to put that weight down, because I deserve to be loved. And it strikes me that there are only two types of relationships – with those who use your appearance as an excuse not to love you fully, and with those who fall in love with you, even when you have acne.

Last week in Love, Or Something Thing Like It: My wife earns more money than I do and it’s changed how I show affection

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