It’s the most… wonderful time… of the year! No, not Christmas… Halloween!
Well, it used to be wonderful – about 10 or 15 or 20 years ago.
Just like Christmas, Halloween is strictly for the young at heart.
There’s no getting around it; you’re now just too damn old for Halloween.
Here are the things you just can’t do any more.
1. Knocking people’s doors and running
It has many names,… Read the full story
2016 has been a tough year.
There have been devastating celebrity deaths. Brexit. The Brangelina breakup.
We’ve all looked for things to cheer our hearts, lift our spirits, and keep us going until 2016 can finally come to an end.
So, really, are we at all surprised that Pornhub has reported that in the last year, they’ve seen an increase in people searching for pizza-related porn? Anything to keep you going, right?
In their latest insights blog post, Pornhub explains that their pizza themed categories… Read the full story
National Black Cat Day is a day organsied by animal charity Cats Protection to give props to our furry friends.
It happens every October 27 and fans are encourage to celebrate the beauty and uniqueness of black cats.
There’s a lot of silly superstitions around black cats, meaning that sadly they’re adopted less than kittys of other colours.
But we think they’re the best – from the famous (Sabrina’s Salem, Felix, Jess) to the neighborhood moggies.
Here’s 15 adorable black cats for National Black Cat Day.
This cat, who is ready for Halloween
Ghosting as a relationship-ending technique is pretty divisive.
It’s quite a useful way of breaking off a weak connection – you don’t have to deal with any tears, confrontation or recriminations.
Prepare for intense unusual pet envy.
A one-year-old boy (we don’t know his name, as… Read the full story
In case you missed it, today is Black Cat Day – an annual day dedicated to black cats.
Why? Because shelters still find it the trickiest to find black cats and kittens homes.
Black cats are the least likely cats to get adopted from shelters, as many people consider them bad luck, or buy into bizarre stereotypes that black cats are more likely to misbehave.
They also struggle to find homes… Read the full story
Pregnant this Halloween? Make the most of it. Use your bump to its full potential.
Turns out that a baby bump is the perfect way to take your Halloween costume to the next level, whether you paint it into a pumpkin or play on the whole ‘there’s a baby in my womb and that’s scary in itself’ theme.
Just make sure you make full use of your baby bump this year.
There’s not many things that a cat can’t improve.
A house becomes a home when a cat lives there. Facebook only became great once cat videos started flooding news feeds.
And in NYC, corner shops have cats – making them probably the best convenience stores in the world.
These sorts of places apparently almost always have a resident cat to keep the mice at bay.
Let’s… Read the full story
There was a time, believe it or not, where if you wanted to watch porn you had to rent it from the back room of the video shop.
But before that, even further back in the dim and distant past, if you wanted to watch people having sex then you had to high tail it down to Soho, buy a ticket and sit in a cinema. Which seems like quite a heavy commitment to wank fodder.
Black cats are the kings of the feline world. Show me an ugly black cat and I’ll show you someone with absolute trash taste.
Yet people reject black cats more than any other type. According to the RSPCA, a ridiculous 70% of abandoned cats in their care are black.
Why?
Because people are idiots. Black cats are everything, and here’s why:
In the past, they’ve been considered to be symbols of evil omens, and have been especially linked… Read the full story
When we hear about something that’s going to ‘awaken your body with pleasure’, we’re going to be pretty excited.
Especially if that something is called a Shagger.
But despite looking and sounding like an old-fashioned sex toy, this Shagger is not actually for sexual use.
It’s a handheld massager, just with a dodgy appearance and a raunch-filled instruction booklet.
The OTO Massager Shagger is a ‘super flexible and adaptable body stimulator’, that you can use on your own or with… Read the full story
Last year, I underwent emergency surgery to have my large intestine removed.
It had become so ulcerated and inflamed that it was just half an hour from perforating (aka exploding) inside of me.
If this had have happened, I would have died.
It was crazy, I had been admitted to hospital with suspected appendicitis, but five days after having my appendix removed, there I was being rushed down for the surgery.
‘This Halloween party’s a bit boring, I’ll just head to the buffet table, mmm, a lovely pizza, I’ll just have a slice and aaaaaargh!!!’
Presumably this is the trick or treat-style scenario Morrisons is envisaging you inflict on your clueless guests this Halloween.
Because they’ve created the Hotter Than Hell pizza, topped with one of the world’s hottest chillies – the naga.
It’s got a Scoville rating of up to 1 million – 200 times hotter than Tabasco or a jalapeno, and seven times hotter than a vindaloo.
Morrisons has slung that on a pizza… Read the full story
Halloween falls this year on Monday 31 October, and people everywhere will be frantically carving pumpkins and icing biscuits.
Whether you’re planning to celebrate with a party or you just want to make some fun food at home for the kids to enjoy, these spooky recipes should give you a lot of inspiration. Whatever Halloween event you have in mind, we have you covered.
From savoury to sweet, here are 20 bone-chilling Halloween recipes.
1. Pumpkin shadow… Read the full story
It’s only a few weeks until Halloween and if you haven’t got your outfit sorted yet, you’d better get your thinking cap on.
Makeup is a great way to turn a boring costume into an out-of-this-world one – and you don’t have to be a makeup artist to achieve a spooky look.
These tutorials will give you some amazing ideas, and show you exactly how to get the look right.
Emily (Corpse Bride) Halloween Makeup Tutorial by dope2111
Not all relationships end on good terms, especially not when there’s infidelity involved.
But that’s something Harriet is currently trying to deal with, after finding out her boyfriend was cheating on her.
Sure, she has her girls and both Netflix and Ben and Jerry’s are readily available to her – but her cheating ex just won’t seem to disappear.
Why? Because he needs money, and wants Harriet to repay him for the Justin Bieber ticket he bought for her whilst they were still together.
The only thing cooler than a bunny in sunglasses is a Photoshop battle of said bunny in sunglasses.
And thankfully, this is a thing – and it’s happening over on Reddit after one proud bunny-owner decided to make their bunny look dark and mysterious and basically just cool AF with some rather large glasses.
Honestly, we don’t think we’ve ever seen a bunny who looks as un-phased as this one.
He 100% belongs in a motorcycle club.
Everyone has their own deal-breaker when it comes to not wanting to be in a relationship anymore.
Whether that’s a lack of shared interests, the fact they don’t like to share food or if they even hate your favourite movie – it’s easy to tell when something’s not going anywhere.
But can the same be said for when a relationship is going somewhere?
Apparently so. And people are talking about it in a Reddit thread after someone asked the question: ‘Read the full story
One artist has taken to painting modern day pin-ups covered in tattoos with mesmerising results.
The work of Chris Guest, from London, focuses mainly on painting heavily tattooed women created using classical oil painting techniques.
Metro.co.uk spotted Chris at the London Tattoo Convention and we want all his pieces.
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