The idea that you have to look a certain way in order to be fit is delivered to us by adverts, social media, TV shows.

The only women who get to be strong, healthy and love their bodies are size 6 Instagram models, clad head-to-toe in lycra with intimidating abs and an inexplicable thigh gap.

It teaches us over and over again that this is the ideal female form. And anything that doesn’t fit the mould is wrong.

Women of all ages, sizes, races and abilities can be strong, fit and unbelievably inspirational. But we never get to see them.

A huge study by Sport England found that 75% of women say fear of judgement puts them off being active. And 40% of women over the age of 16 aren’t meeting the recommended levels of weekly fitness.

So it’s more important than ever for women to reclaim the narrative and celebrate their inner strength. Regardless of what they look like.

This series aims to redefine what it means to be a strong woman. We will meet some of the incredible ladies who are challenging accepted norms every single day.

Andrea Newson is an autistic mum of two. Like many people with autism she struggles with the social elements of sport, but she refuses to let that stop her getting stuck in.

Tell us about your relationship with fitness

Fitness and myself have a love-hate relationship. I love being fit and healthy but I also hate some of the restrictions that come with it – especially on the food front.

I love food and a lot of healthy things just bore me to tears. Which means I’m not always as fit as I could be with more effort.

But I am getting better because I find with age, I have to pay a lot more attention to these things – exercise alone isn’t as effective as it was in my 20s.

I got to the point I am now after some good, old fashioned hard work.

After my third baby I was over the 130kg mark and was wondering how I could get back to the person and shape I was before I had any kids. Which is what so many women’s dream about after children.

I just started by riding my bike to and from work, this led to a rekindled obsession with mountain biking. Now, 12 years later, I feel fitter than I ever did before. I don’t regularly drink alcohol, definitely no drugs, and I am finally starting to be an adult about my diet.

My first pregnancy ended with my daughter being stillborn at full term.

During the c-section, I also had a pulmonary embolism which nearly ended my own life.

I had two more healthy babies after this, but they were all a year apart and the healing of my body after two c-sections was a long, hard road.

Initially my primary focus was the fitness of my mind. Losing my child and later learning about my own close brush with death took several years to recover from.

I was also determined to regain core strength, which I needed for my mountain biking, so I started laps in the pool as well as cycling the 3-4kms to work each day.

With small children and a messy divorce it wasn’t always easy to keep these things high on the priority list.

I was also a skydiver up until 12 months prior to falling pregnant with my first. Skydiving is a sport that requires complete fitness of mind and body – especially in the weight department – safety is imperative.

How has fitness helped you through dark times?

Overcoming my past hasn’t been an easy ride – but I persisted with my bike.

I just ride for the sake of riding. I love the peace of cruising through the bush trails and only hearing the wind and wildlife – as cliched as that sounds. I appreciate life and little things like that a lot more than I ever did prior to the loss of my child.

My fitness allows me to get out and experience life again. Something I can never ever take for granted again.

More recently I was diagnosed as autistic. This has made me realise just how important fitness is to me.

It has been the one solid foundation in my life that I never questioned – everything else I always questioned simply because I didn’t understand people.

So it has been a long journey, but I am finally fit in body but most importantly mind, which is why I have also returned to skydiving.

Why do you consider yourself a strong woman?

Because I am a survivor of things that are known to break other people. I don’t give up just because someone else says I should. If I see something I want to do I go out and do it.

Travelling solo around North America, watching the Space Shuttle launch four times, racing downhill on my mountain bike, surfing, SCUBA diving, skydiving.

I always have so many people amazed with what I do, but honestly I am more amazed that people don’t just go and try these things for themselves if they are keen.

If that defines me as strong, then that’s about it. I only see myself as strong because I survive.

How does autism affect your relationship with fitness?

Autism can make me be obsessive about fitness and especially sports I am interested in.

Autism is known for hyperfocus and it’s no different with sport and fitness. It really made a huge difference when it came to trying to have a healthy diet and control my food intake. It got to the point where people around me would comment, “I don’t know how you stick to it!” We all know how diet changes usually end!

But being able to hyperfocus, research and learn anything and everything about diet and what was best for me was so helpful. Once it becomes routine, the rest is easy for me.

Fitness helps a bit I would say, mostly because of the endorphins my body gets from being active.

Of course the main barrier for many people with autism is the social aspect many sports have.

Or the polar opposite of hyperfocus is complete disinterest. This disinterest can be hard to counter – sometimes it makes you ask things like, if this isn’t my major interest why should I bother?

As for the social aspect, I tend to ‘mask’ like many autistic people do to fit in with the crowd. Mind you, a lot of the sports I enjoy can be done solo as well.

But it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy taking part as a member of a team or social, far from it. It just takes a little more work on my part to figure out the people – not that anyone would know I was doing this.

It has become a lot easier as I have gotten older, simply because we learn more as we progress through life.

What do you think of strong women in the media?

I think the media still push unhealthy body images.

I have two daughters who I would never want to feel like they are not good enough because according to the media the only fit person is a skinny person. The reality is a lot different.

Skinny does not equal fit and healthy. Muscles create bulk, but we are still caught in some 1850s time warp of what is realistically unhealthy marketing based on appearance alone.

Many women associate being a strong woman with being butch or non-feminine. Many women also still believe that men prefer their women meek.

I have met men, when I was dating, who told me to my face I was too strong, that they prefer to be the provider. These are all ridiculous things.

Sure, physiology between men and women is different, we cannot change biology, but we can change attitudes and beliefs. I see a male partner as an equal, not someone who should be threatened by my own decisions about how I live my life.

Being strong, fit and active allows me to get out there and enjoy life first hand, rather than through a screen or online.

I love seeing something and thinking, ‘I would love to try that! and actually being able to do it.

But fitness is becoming more important than ever for me as I age. Our bodies are designed to move, not stagnate, and that shouldn’t change just because we get older.

Strong Women is a new weekly series published every Saturday at 10am. If you’d like to get involved, get in touch at strongwomen@metro.co.uk.

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I delayed my smear test for more than two years. I was one of those women that put it off for a variety of reasons.

A recent study of 2,000 women found a significant proportion of women had chosen not to get screened for fear of having the human papilloma virus (HPV).

What is HPV, what are the symptoms and can it be treated?

I wasn’t one of these women, instead I felt embarrassed about the test and a bit scared of the potential pain. I also didn’t want the nurse to judge the way I looked ‘down there’.

But, like the women in the study, I had a lack of awareness between HPV and cervical cancer, and massively misunderstood the virus.

Around September 2017, I noticed I was bleeding after sex. I shrugged it off, thinking it was probably harmless. But it just got worse over time.

I finally went for my smear test five months later. They could see immediately that something wasn’t right, which was not what I was expecting to hear. A few days later, I was diagnosed with stage 2a cervical cancer. I was 27.

Almost all cervical cancers are caused by HPV, and it was after my diagnosis that my oncologist told me I had it. I hadn’t had the vaccination at school and was largely clueless about the virus.

It was only when the oncologist explained the link to me that I started researching more about it.

At first, I thought HPV was a sexually transmitted illness (STI). I’ve only slept with two men and, as I had only been with my current partner for less than a year, I immediately felt angry towards my previous partner and blamed him for the fact I had cancer.

I felt so embarrassed and ashamed that I only told my family and close friends that I had cancer a month after my diagnosis.

But, as I looked into it more, I realised that it was impossible to tell who passed HPV on to me. It’s usually completely undetectable and has no symptoms, so it isn’t fair to hold it against anyone.

Slowly, I came to understand that it isn’t an STI and that HPV is actually as common as catching a cold! 90 per cent of us will come into contact with HPV in our lifetimes, but in most cases our immune systems will get rid of it – often without ever knowing we ever had it in the first place and without it doing us any harm at all.

Once I had come to terms with my diagnosis and had grasped just how common HPV is, I finally opened up to everyone. I posted a status on Facebook because I wanted to tell everyone that HPV and even a cervical cancer diagnosis is nothing to be ashamed of.

I also wanted people to know the importance of continuing to go to your smear test, even if you’ve had the HPV vaccine. Lots of people think they aren’t necessary, but this just isn’t true. The vaccine is great but it doesn’t make you into superwoman.

The reaction to my Facebook post was mostly positive, but there was some negativity too, which was hard to deal with. Some people commented that if I had contracted HPV then I must have been promiscuous and that it was, effectively, my own fault. It was pretty hurtful when I was still coming to grips with cancer.

It’s obvious that we still have a really long way to go. In 2019, there shouldn’t still be this stigma around HPV and how you get it. Nor should there still be this attitude of shame around sex and criticising women for how many people you’ve slept with.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve had sex with one person or a hundred people – you can still get HPV, regardless of your gender or sexuality.

I really hope that this recent story changes those attitudes and shows how necessary education about HPV is if we are to get more women attending smear tests.

It’s time to start a conversation, not only about HPV, but about promoting a healthy attitude to sex. I am hopeful that my story, and the stories of other women that have been affected by cervical abnormalities and cervical cancer can encourage more people to come forward and help to fight the stigma and shame around HPV.

Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust is the only UK charity dedicated to women, their families and friends affected by cervical cancer and cervical abnormalities. 

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Up until now, the transgender luxury lingerie market has been next to non-existent.

Carmen Liu, a 27-year-old trans woman is on a mission to change that with her new underwear line, the GI collection.

The inspiration behind the collection is the lack of stylish options for transgender women; most of which, according to Carmen, is ‘gaff’ and looks like the ‘love child of Borat’s mankini and a jock strap’.

So far, there are only two styles of knickers available for sale but her aim is to create more, including bras to match.

Each design is specifically made for transgender women who have not had genital surgery.

Materials include satin and lace, and the thongs are lined with cotton. Each piece is also purpose-made to gently ‘tuck’ the genitals in place.

Carmen is also offering a ‘tucking tape’, a safer option to household tape, for women who want to tape their penis or scrotum back.

‘I hope that the collection will allow transgender women to feel feminine, sexy and accepted in society,’ said Carmen, who is based in Fulham, London.

‘We need this brand not only because lingerie for trans women does not exist, but to also help us have a greater experience as the women we were suppose to be.’

The collection will launch on 20 February and prices range from £14.00.

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As a strong, empowered woman, my automatic response to displays of love are ‘ew’ and the photo of Britney Spears in the ‘DUMP HIM’ tee.

Ideas of power are closely tied with being single, resistant to emotions, and not needing another human being.

For a long time that was who I was. I was independent and harsh and all about not feeling things for other people.

Then I screwed everything up by finding someone wonderful and falling in love with them. Damn it.

Can I still be strong and powerful when I keep asking my partner why he’s a ‘little dumpling’? Who am I if my idea of a good time is spooning in bed on a Sunday morning then having someone make me poached eggs on toast?

This isn’t a new conundrum.

Rom coms present us with women entirely focused on their jobs and wearing power suits, who simply don’t have the time or emotional capacity for love. Either they go through a transformation into a total romantic who now wears floral dresses and has soft waves, or they remain spiky, cold, and strong – the harsh manager, the work rival, even the scheming romantic challenge who’s only after a man’s money.

Take Margaret in The Proposal, Amanda in The Holiday, Andie in How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, Abby in the Ugly Truth (all great films, as a side note), as your classic ‘love makes me no longer care about work and stop wearing suits’ examples.

In workplaces strength is seen not in emotions and kindness, but in ruthlessly getting shit done, making decisions free of feelings to get to the top. The common advice is that if you’re trying to make your way up the ladder, you shouldn’t chat about your romantic relationships – it makes you look weak.

And then on Instagram, the new icons of self-love and power are resolutely in praise of cutting people out, loving only yourself, and weighing up men in terms of the financial benefits they can bring.

A lot of this is a response to sexism, a clawing back of power in a world in which things that are seen as ‘feminine’ – love, sweetness, getting all mushy – are seen as weak. It makes sense.

But in our charge towards equality, wouldn’t it be a shame if we squashed out all the tenderness in pursuit of seeming powerful? Can’t we accept that getting lovey-dovey is a type of power, too?

I say it’s time to stop being embarrassed of being ridiculously loved up, to stop thinking that being soft and strong are mutually exclusive.

There’s nothing weak about loving another human being. Love is a truly powerful thing.

Love and tenderness can bridge differences, change lives, and save lives. It’s a wonderful part of being alive, something that makes us human.

Do I feel taken over by a deep-rooted cringe talking about the power of love? Absolutely. It is painful.

But that’s something it’s time to challenge, because when we cast love and kindness as silly, weak, and embarrassing, we promote anger, coldness, and hate as the way forward.

A world in which hate is encouraged isn’t a good one, surely. And while I’m under no illusion that professing my love for people in my life will end racism, homophobia, and all conflict and war, I do think it’s worth starting small.

That means working against the idea that telling someone you love them is cringey. It’s battling that entirely natural ‘gross’ reaction to someone’s mushy Valentine’s Day post on social media, because as strange as it may feel to put declarations of love on Twitter, love shouldn’t be something shameful to share.

Tell people you care about them, get lovey-dovey, be soft and warm and know that kindness and affection are not expendable resources but limitless.

And do it proudly, in the knowledge that feeling things doesn’t make you less of a powerful being. Show everyone that love is not something shameful but glorious, that expressing that can feel scary but is something to be celebrated.

We know that love triggers the dopamine sensors in our brains and drops our levels of the stress hormone, serotonin, making us more positive, healthy, and productive.

Author of Love 2.0, Barbara Fredrickson’s research has led her to believe that when we love, we’re ‘reminded in an experiential way that [we] are part of something larger’ than ourselves. She points to common humanity, the idea that experiencing love – and recognising this as a shared human experience – could affect the policies our society enacts, the decisions we make that will affect the lives of others.

Declaring Valentine’s Day stupid, judging couple photos, making fun of your mate who actually professes to thinking that his girlfriend is cool rather than acting as if she’s extra baggage, none of this stuff makes you a better, more together human being.

Let yourself fall, hard, and be as saccharine as you wish, knowing it only makes you more powerful.

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Yesterday, the annual event was used as a platform for a statement that will hit home with Londoners especially, as activists from Justice4Grenfell took over the catwalk.

Dressed in t-shirts emblazoned with ’72 dead and still no arrests. How come?’, activists were highlighting the lack of progress made on the case for the London Grenfell Fire that claimed 72 lives in 2017.

Celebrities including singer Emeli Sande, models Adwoa Aboah and Clara Paget, as well as journalist Heydon Prowse, actor Jolyon Rubenstein and DJ Becky Tong joined the group on stage.

‘London Fashion week is a perennial event in the international calendar and highlights the world talent, creativity and inspiration in our diverse city,’ Yvette Williams, campaign coordinator for Justice4Grenfell, said in a press release.

‘The fire at Grenfell Tower is the unfashionable side of London where 72 people needlessly lost their lives. Their deaths will not be in vain.

‘We are honoured to be part of LFW that will assist our campaign in keeping a global focus on what happened at Grenfell and to support the bereaved families in their continued fight for truth and justice.

‘The accountable authorities have been inadequate and tardy in their response and 20 months on; no significant changes or improvements have been made and no one to date has been held responsible.

‘These factors and issues are fundamental to ensuring that nothing like this is ever allowed to happen again.’

The t-shirt, named ‘No Death in Vain’ t-shirt was designed by Grenfell Speaks and two community members at SpiltSquare Design.

‘We wanted to create a design that remembered and honoured the people who died at Grenfell Tower, and to serve as a reminder of why we continue to campaign as a community,’ said the designers.

London Fashion Week started yesterday (15 February) and will run until Tuesday 19 February.

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Georgina Paraskeva, 18, uses coffee granules to colour her hair, after experiencing a horrific allergic reaction to black dye,

Georgina’s face ballooned to double its size and she was blind for two days after suffering an allergic reaction to paraphenylenediamine (PPD) – a chemical commonly found in dark hair dyes.

She’s sharing her story to urge people to do patch tests before colouring their hair, and warn of the risks.

Georgina had previously used the same brand of Clairol black hair dye, so thought there’d be no issue with topping up her hair colour with the product.

But the evening after using the dye her head started to feel hot and itchy.

Over the next two days her face swelled. Georgina rang 111, who told her to take an antihistamine to soothe the swelling.

The next day she visited her GP, who gave her cream to remedy her burned and blistered skin. Her face was so swollen that her eyelids were closed over, leaving her unable to see.

Her mum called an ambulance and Georgina was rushed to hospital where she was hooked up to an IV drip.

Georgina said: ‘My whole family use Nice ‘N Easy and I’ve used it a few times before with no problems.

‘That evening my head was absolutely fine but it was when I went out in the evening the following day my whole head was hot and seriously itchy.

‘I had blisters on my scalp and the skin on my hairline was really crispy.

‘Later that week the swelling got worse and when my eyes started to swell up and I couldn’t open them, that’s when I felt really panicked.

‘When I went to the hospital it felt like I had glass in my eyes and I went full-on blind.

‘I couldn’t see a thing for two days, it was horrible.’

Georgina was discharged from hospital with a prescription for steroids and an antihistamine. For days afterwards she had to be cared for her by her mum and partner as her vision was still affected.

Three months on, Georgina won’t try a chemical hair dye again. Instead she uses coffee granules to tint her brunette hair.

‘I’ve started using natural remedies on my hair now and use coffee granules to colour it, it works really well,’ said Georgina.

‘I want people to be aware that things like this can and do actually happen.

‘A lot of people don’t realise what’s in hair dye and that it can be really dangerous, I’m really lucky and super grateful that it didn’t escalate.

‘Since this happened I’ve read up on it and I could have permanently lost my eyesight and it’s scary to see that people have died from it.

‘I’m also a lot more cautious about the things I use on my skin and I just make sure I read everything and make sure it contains natural ingredients.

‘It was honestly the most horrific experience of my life.

‘Looking back at the pictures now is just horrible, my head doubled in size and I looked like a monster.

‘It felt horrible and made me feel like I had zero confidence. I hated going out and felt really self-conscious and like people were staring at me.

‘I made the conscious decision to stay inside as I hated going outside and feeling like people were looking at me, it was awful.’

A Clairol spokesperson said: ‘The safety of the people who use our products is our first and most important priority, so we were very concerned to hear about Ms Paraskeva’s experience with Nice’n Easy No Ammonia when we were first made aware of the incident last November.

‘Unfortunately we were unable to get in touch with Ms Paraskeva at the time.

‘Allergic reactions are very rare and hair colourants are extensively researched to ensure they are safe when used as directed and it is imperative patch tests are conducted at least 48 hours before each colouring occasion.

‘Details of how to perform this test are included with each of our products to help minimise risk to consumers.

‘We remain happy to discuss the matter with Ms Paraskeva should she wish to contact us on our customer helpline.’

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That’s right, gang, it’s time for another tale of a bridezilla.

This one doesn’t have a bizarre dress code and isn’t threatening to un-invite guests if they don’t pay hundreds.

Instead, she wants to know if it’s fair for her to relieve a friend of bridesmaid duties because she won’t – or can’t – lose weight.

Yup, this bride wants to dump her bridesmaid because she’s not as slim as the bride would like.

One of the bride’s pals shared the dilemma on the ‘Am I The Asshole?’ subreddit, asking whether the bride is allowed to be annoyed that her friend ‘refuses to exercise’.

She wrote: ‘Hello all, I am in a bar right now with a friend of mine who asked me this question and I figured this sub would be the perfect place to ask.

‘So she is getting married soon and wants a friend of 10 years to be included in the photos.

‘However, this friend wants all her bridesmaids to actively lose weight in the months leading up to the photos, so that they can all look fit.

‘This woman’s best friend refuses to exercise and continues to lead a very unhealthy lifestyle.

‘My friend wants to remove her own bridesmaid on the grounds that she refused to lead a healthier life and exercise.

‘Is she the asshole?’

We’ll give you a moment here to ponder this wild situation.

Okay.

So, Reddit overwhelmingly agreed that yes, the bride is an asshole.

Those who responded said it’s wrong to ask a bridesmaid to lose weight, but especially heinous to ditch someone from the wedding party when they refuse.

One person wrote: ‘How incredibly superficial. Yikes. 10/10 would end that friendship immediately if someone asked that of me.’

Another responded: ‘You don’t pick people to be in your wedding based on their looks. You pick them based on how special they are to you. You pick people who are good friends and who love you and support you. Something your friend could learn a little about from the sound of it.’

The lesson here: how your friend looks in a photo really shouldn’t be the most important thing in your relationship.

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Attention, parents: Lidl is introducing mini children’s trolleys to its UK stores so that they don’t get bored while you do your shopping.

Yep, your kids can now help you do the food shop as the ‘Fun Size’ trolleys are being introduced to more than 150 stores in the UK.

The trolleys came as part of a trial, but Lidl later decided to add them to its stores. You’ll now be able to find the new trolleys in a special nine-trolley bay.

You don’t need a pound coin to make a trolley work, so don’t worry about your child running away with your money.

While the trolleys, which will be available in stores next month, will help keep kids distracted and entertained while parents get on with the shopping, the supermarket has another, deeper reason for the trolleys – to teach them the importance of healthy eating.

Ryan McDonnell, commercial director of Lidl UK, said: ‘We’re constantly looking for new ways to make shopping more fun and engaging for kids.

‘We’re keen to help parents build their children’s understanding of what they eat, and we hope that our new Fun Size Trolleys will encourage kids to play a bigger part in the family shop.’

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Imagine a place that’s so immersed in nature that, as you fly into its international airport, all you can see are lush green forests.

Imagine while hopping between one city to another on a commuter plane, the sea below you is so clear that you can actually spot a sting ray from the air.

That was my experience of Belize, a central American country that considers itself part of the Caribbean.

Formerly British Honduras, Belize is now very much an independent state, and one of the few places where English is spoken by locals.

Its location and history means that its culture and its food is incredibly diverse – and that’s what I went to discover.

I started my trip in San Ignacio, a town in the centre of Belize, close to the borders of Guatemala.

After breakfast at Pop’s Restaurant, I had an introduction to Belizean food through a cookery class at Marie Sharp’s Tourist Center.

It costs around £39 per person; over the course of a morning, I visited the local food market and cooked up a storm in the kitchen, making Belizean rice and beans, chicken stew, flour tortillas and fry jacks (fried tortilla dough).

When you travel through Belize, you soon learn that no meal cannot be improved with chilli sauce – and there is a bottle of Marie Sharp on every table.

And at the tourist centre, I tasted through the entire collection of chilli sauces, which I assure you is no small feat.

To finish, there was also a delicious bread pudding and rum sauce.

It may surprise you to discover that Belize has a strong Mayan heritage.

The Mayan site of Xunantunich is just on the outskirts of San Ignacio, and from the top of its highest platform, you can see all the way into Guatemala.

But you can also get a flavour of Mayan food from their descendants.

In the village of San Antonio, the San Antonio Women’s Group offer a cultural experience where you can learn how to make corn tortillas the traditional way – by grinding down the corn by hand using stone and then cooking it on a clay cooker.

View this post on Instagram

Made this – a corn tortilla – with the San Antonio women's group, a Mayan culture centre just outside of San Ignacio. I helped to grind the corn into a paste, formed it into a dough, flattened it to a disc before cooking it over an earthen hearth. Slathered with coconut oil and sprinkled with salt, I can't tell you how sweet it tastes.

A post shared by Qin Xie (@qinxiesays) on Nov 29, 2018 at 4:51am PST

It’s incredible to see how versatile corn can be – the Mayan women even offered me a ‘coffee’ made using toasted corn, which tastes just like the real thing but doesn’t contain an ounce of caffeine.

It’s a trek down winding roads to get there, but it’s well worth the journey, and for the equivalent of about £20 per person, the experience includes lunch.

I headed to the coast next, to the Placencia Peninsula.

It’s here that I had some of my favourite food experiences with the Garifuna, an ethnic group of people who descended from the Africans, Arawaks and Europeans who lived on the island of St Vincent.

Cassava and plantains are staples in their diet, as are fish since they always live by the sea.

Through Garifuna Cultural Immersion (£39) I learned how to make hudut, a traditional spicy fish soup that’s cooked down with fresh coconut milk and served with mashed plantain and fried fish.

If making fresh coconut milk by hand was hard, it was nothing compared to trying to pry the coconuts from their husks using wooden spikes stuck into the sand.

I learned I would go very hungry without the comforts of a supermarket shop.

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Getting ready to head home, just time for one last post from Belize. This was one of my favourite meals this week: hudut. It's THE dish from the Garifuna people, where fish and coconut broth is served with pounded plantains and fried fish. Everyone has their own recipe but this version, with fresh herbs and habanero, was my favourite 👌

A post shared by Qin Xie (@qinxiesays) on Dec 1, 2018 at 12:33pm PST

Of course, you couldn’t visit the Garifuna people without learning about their history through music.

And the Garifuna Fire Hearth Cooking experience (£31) included songs about their heritage and their culture – a fascinating and, at times, difficult-to-swallow tale of hardship and endurance.

My last stop was to San Pedro, perhaps the most touristy part of Belize – and with good reason.

It’s where people come to enjoy the beaches and to go snorkelling with nurse sharks and sting rays.

Unlike some places, the sea is really shallow here so you can see a lot without having to dive down. And with the sea being incredibly calm, it’s perfect if you’re not a confident swimmer.

I even managed to spot a sting ray from the air and swim next to a passing manatee.

I went to the Hol Chan Marine Reserve and Shark Ray Alley and did the Bacalar Chico Tour all with Seaduced by Belize, who knew all the best spots for snorkelling.

Food-wise, it’s all about the local restaurants – and there are lots of small places to check out.

I’d highly recommend a restaurant-hopping tour with Belize Food Tours.

For £56, I stopped in seven different spots around the city, sampling 12 different bites, ranging from the Belizean version of tacos to ceviche.

It’s a real bargain, considering that drinks were included too.

By the end, I was full to the brim – but there was still so much to discover.

But that’s the thing with Belize, there are so many different things to try – just make sure you do it before everyone else hops on the wagon.

Where to eat in San Ignacio, Placencia and San Pedro:

San Ignacio

Everyone goes to Pop’s Restaurant for a Belizean breakfast – their fry jacks is a must.

Guava Limb is genereally considered to be the best restaurant in town, offering mainly European dishes.

Placencia

Maya Beach Bistro is a great spot to check out if you love your desserts – especially cheesecakes – but they also do gorgeous shrimps.

San Pedro

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Huevos rancheros and fry jacks (fried tortilla dough), a hearty Belizean take on breakfast that'll set you up for the day 💪

A post shared by Qin Xie (@qinxiesays) on Dec 1, 2018 at 7:59am PST

If you go on the Belize Food Tour, you’ll get to try out a few local haunts, including Elvi’s Kitchen where you can sample Mayan food.

For breakfast with a view, check out Estel’s Dine By the Sea.

Where to stay in Belize and how to get there:

In San Ignacio, I stayed at Chaa Creek, a family-friendly resort on the edge of town. There are free bird watching tours and even a butterfly farm on site.

And if it’s good enough for Prince Harry, who stayed there when he was in Belize, it’s most certainly good enough for me.

The Cottage Collection bungalows at Chaa Creek (sleeps up to three) start from £305 per night on a bed and breakfast basis.

In Placencia, I stayed at Chabil Mar, which has gorgeous villas right by the ocean.

It’s also just a short walk from town, and you can borrow a bike for free.

A luxury partial seaview villa at Chabil Mar starts from £215 per night.

In San Pedro, I stayed at Mahogany Bay.

It’s out of town, so you may want to hire one of the golf buggys, but there are also street food stalls on site.

A garden cottage there starts from £185 per night.

There are no direct flights from the UK to Belize. I flew from London Heathrow to Belize with British Airways, which connected with Belize City via Miami.

Fares start from £464 return.

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TK Maxx is a great place for bargains.

It’s one of the few places you can come out with a designer bag for the same price you’d pay in Primark.

However, the shop has recently been caught out for being more expensive than Primark – by doubling the price of an actual Primark item.

Richard Foster went into the store in Ilford to look for jeans when he found a pair that said they were reduced to £29.99 from £85.

He thought the jeans – which had a size 28 waist and 32 leg – were a bargain, but upon looking at them closer, he realised the jeans were actually from Primark, and were double the price of the original £15.

Richard took to the Facebook group TK Maxx Gallery of Horrors and attached a photo of the jeans, writing beside it: ‘£29.99 for Primark’s finest in Ilford.’

After mentioning the doubled price, other members of the group began talking about how the jeans ended up in TK Maxx – with some saying it looked as though it was the doing of shoplifters.

One person said: ‘This must be a dodgy return someone has gotten away with. Well here’s hoping… Kimble guns and security magnets are easy to get hold of online after all.’

Another said Richard’s fine was a prime example of a ‘shoplifter swap’, mentioning that it’s not hard to remove a security tag.

They continued: ‘Someone has gone into the changing room to do the switch and put the tag on the ones they came in with and walked out wearing the expensive ones.’

Someone said they went on a date with a man who did just that – mentioning his hack for getting ‘free clothes’.

They said: ‘Bought something at TK, used a pin to get the price tag off intact, used the same pin to attach the price tag of an old article of clothing, returned said old item and got his money back.’

Someone who used to work at TK Maxx said finding expensive Primark items in the shop is nothing new – and that it used to happen all the time.

They wrote: ‘We used to get Primark brand names ALL THE TIME, it’s not a shady return.

‘I literally did deliveries and put out fresh stock of Primark brands!’

Metro.co.uk has contacted TK Maxx for comment but they are yet to respond.

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For most of us, the penultimate working day doesn’t hold much importance.

But for Jo Love, Thursday has become a noteworthy time in her diary.

Every Thursday she sees her therapist.

After each session she films herself on her phone, uploading the videos to Instagram Stories to debrief her 20k followers who eagerly await her news.

Using the hashtag #TherapyThursday Jo has turned something that most of us keep private into a much-anticipated piece of content.

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THERAPY IS COOL: Sliding into my #slowmonday with this little mantra in mind. Therapy has been a life changer and life saver for me. And I truly believe it should be available to all, whether you have a mental health condition or not. Talking to someone who is neutral and informed, is nothing short of magical. Finding the right therapist has been a big part of helping my recovery, so to say I’m nervous about starting again with a new one when we move to Bath is an understatement! I’ve got a plan and I know what I’m looking for, but also I have come to realise I won’t be able to replicate the relationship I currently have. Different is ok. Dare I say it, different could even be better?! 🖤💖🖤💖🖤 This awesome bag was a #gift from @hashtagtherapyiscool and I take it practically everywhere with me. And snap 📸 by the talented @markmundi #therapyiscool #mentalhealthawareness #therapyrocks #itsgoodtotalk #slowmonday

A post shared by Jo Love (@lobellaloves_jo) on Feb 3, 2019 at 10:46pm PST

‘I want to show that therapy isn’t scary,’ Jo tells Metro.co.uk

‘I get so many messages from followers saying they would have never got therapy themselves had they not heard me talking about it, so it is definitely helpful to share.’

Similarly, Emma Conway — also known as Brummy Mummy of 2 — recently announced to her 70k followers that she’s seeing a therapist because she feels out of place in the blogging world, resulting in bouts of social anxiety.

The YouTuber’s audience has grown substantially since she became friends with OG vlogger Louise Pentland, but it seems that living the influencer lifestyle isn’t all sprinkles of glitter.

In fact, the internet-famous elite may need therapy more than anyone.

Hilda Burke, psychotherapist, couples counsellor and author of The Phone Addiction Workbook, has experience working with full-time influencers and has found that living up to an online persona can contribute to mental illness.

‘They know they need to make hay when the sun shines with social media, so there is that awareness that it may not last forever,’ says Hilda.

The world of blogging is often portrayed as endless brunch meetings and rooftop launch parties, but the reality can be a lot more isolated.

Vix Meldrew is an ex-teacher turned full-time blogger who has over 13k followers on Instagram.

In the last few years Vix has lost both parents, quit her job and got engaged.

Unsurprisingly this has left her with more emotional baggage than even a first-class airline would deem safe for travel.

‘Because I work from home, alone, a lot of the time, I can slip into depressive days quite easily,’ Vix tells us.

‘When I was teaching I had a routine but when you make your days your own, it’s a lot easier to slip. Coupled with being online all the time and surrounded by the negativity that a lot of social media can bring, it really takes its toll.’

Jessica Jones, a writer, blogger and motivational speaker with 44k followers on Instagram, turned to therapy after the birth of her second daughter. She says she’s filled with anxiety before hitting publish on some Instagram posts.

‘The anxiety, the negativity and the trolls can often replay in your head so you start to overthink content or make it as vanilla as possible to reduce potential backlash.’

Content creator and motivational speaker Grace Victory is undergoing therapy to deal with childhood trauma. With 148k followers on Instagram and 224k subscribers on YouTube she admits that working in social media is a major trigger.

Grace says: ‘We often work to ridiculous strict timings, have big projects that all come at once and for most of us, it’s a one man team doing everything. From the creative idea to the actual content creation’

While many of us are unable to access therapy through the NHS (some patients can wait up to a year to see a mental health specialist) or afford private sessions (Counselling Directory say that prices range between £35 – £60 per session) Grace can’t live without it.

‘Therapy for me is like breakfast,’ she tells us. ‘It’s necessary for my survival’.

Zack Smith, a Londoner with 43k followers, has seen the dark side of being an Instagrammer.

He’s been on the receiving end of direct messages which call him ‘ugly’ or argue that he doesn’t have a real job.

Depression and suicidal thoughts quickly followed, and he now sees a therapist regularly to manage his health.

Dr Shani Ram Du Sautoy, senior counselling psychologist at Priory Harley Street Wellbeing Centre, says that users need to recognise when social media becomes unsafe.

‘Leave the space temporarily,’ Dr Shani advises. ‘During this time, make a contract between you and yourself where you address what you will allow and permit.

‘Think about what you will do if you are bullied… How will you protect yourself?’

It can be easy to roll your eyes when it comes to ‘influencer problems’, but it doesn’t matter if you’ve got a million followers or a million pounds — mental illness doesn’t discriminate.

Influencers are suffering from mental illness in part because of what it means to live a life online, and we’re at risk too.

We’re all guilty of choosing to share our triumphs over our failures.

We too begin to convulse if we can’t find Wi-Fi to upload a picture of us eating a vegan sausage roll.

We too queue up with the rest of the world to get an Insta-worthy snap in front of a pastel pink wall.

We might not have the pressure of needing followers and likes to pay our bills, but the root of the problem is the same.

When we constantly compare ourselves to influencers we neglect to acknowledge all the hard work that goes into each image.

We don’t see the late nights, working for free, arguments with the photographer, or personal heartache which occurs before and after each upload.

All we see is a smile, a bikini, an unspoiled beach in the Maldives.

We’re comparing our unfiltered world to a few carefully curated squares.

Ironically, the answer might come in the form a hashtag, #TherapyThursday, and the breaking of barriers — and silence — around asking for help.

Both influencers and followers need to take the lead.

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The penis is a glorious appendix, and there’s plenty of reason to celebrate it.

If dicks are your jam, you’ll be delighted by this news. Later this month, on Tuesday 26 February, there will be an exhibition that aims to raise awareness of the relationship men have with their bodies.

The event, unofficially dubbed ‘The Night of a Thousand Cocks’ or the Penis Gallery, it is not merely an evening to gawk at beautiful pricks but an opportunity to discuss ‘serious points’ about penises.

Organised by the Book of Man, it’s part of a series of events and aims to discuss ‘challenges facing men today and celebrating new thinking around masculinity’.

Men have been invited to send in pics of their penises, and entries closed yesterday.

On its website, Book of Man, wrote:

‘Penises are the classic male anxiety – is it big enough? Is it too big? Too wide? Too weird? Too bent? Just hideous? – but one which we rarely talk about, and with sexual dysfunction among young men on the rise, it seems the pornification of the world isn’t helping ease our fears.

‘Put simply, not all dicks are rock hard, smooth 12-inch bats. But when do you ever see any other type? It’s not exactly a Done Thing to start examining other johnsons in the locker room is it? OK, maybe in rugby.

‘But the point is we need to start getting comfortable with our bodies and understand there is no right way to be. Gain confidence in yourself by acknowledging everyone is different.

‘Hence, the Penis Gallery, where every penis is beautiful.’

The Penis Gallery be hosted at the Book Club in Shoreditch from 7pm to 10pm.

Tickets cost from £10.72 and can be bought here.

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Never give up hope in your cat.

13 years after her cat went missing, Kelly LaVette was reunited with her beloved pet – all thanks to a miracle rescue from Alison Ferguson, 42, Georgia.

Alison is an official cat rescuer, co-creating The Cat Networking Agents with Hayley Zielinski, 50.

Hayley picked up the cat from a high kill shelter earlier this month, then brought her to Alison for fostering.

Alison noticed the cat looked sad and decided to find out if she was microchipped. It turned out she was, and Alison discovered that the cat had somehow travelled 75 miles away from her registered home with Kelly in South Carolina.

It turned out the cat’s name was Abby, which held special significance for Alison, who had lost her first dog, also called Abby, the year before.

Unfortunately both the phone number and email registered on Abby’s microchip were no longer in service, meaning it wasn’t easy to track down her original owner.

All Alison had to work with was the name registered to the chip: Kelly Amandrell.

She messaged every Kelly Amandrell she could find on Facebook living in Connecticut until she received a response from Kelly, last name now LaVette.

Alison was able to reunite Kelly with the cat she’d lost 13 years ago, and now the cat, named Jill, seems happier than ever.

Kelly said: ‘I only had Abby for about a month before she got away.

‘I was living in an apartment with a foyer so she must have got outside when one of the neighbours opened the door.

‘I put up flyers and asked around, but no one replied, it was in the downtown area so was a lot harder to go looking for her with all the buildings and places she could have been.

‘It was so long ago, so I was definitely surprised that no one had ever scanned the microchip in that long a time.

‘I knew it was something unusual when I was contacted using my maiden name, which I hadn’t heard for a very long time.

‘It just seems like a miracle – I had to go through my memory bank to remember what happened and after that I knew I had to adopt her again, it seemed like fate.

‘In between her going missing I have had two more children, finished college, have been teaching for the last ten years, moved away five-years-ago and only recently came back.

‘I didn’t take Jill out until we got home, she seemed shy at first but a couple of days after that she definitely warmed up to me.

‘She follows me everywhere, sleeps next to me, cuddles with me and wherever I am she is right there.’

Alison is overjoyed she was able to reunite the cat with her rightful owner.

Alison said: ‘She was at a high kill shelter, Hayley picked five cats of all different colours and brought them to me.

‘She happened to be the one tabby cat she picked that day, so for her then to get reunited with her old owner you have to think what the chances are.

‘The microchipped revealed she had gone missed from Columbia, South Caroline, which was 75 miles away from where she was brought in.

‘We believe she must have moved with her other owners as she would not have been able to survive for all that time.

‘It ended up being a miracle, it’s certainly a million to one chance of that happening.

‘I think stories like this give other people who have lost their cats a bit of hope.

‘Kelly tells me that she is the most affectionate cat now and even sleeps on her pillow.

‘I wasn’t expecting her to come-around that quickly based on what I had seen, so maybe she just knows she is with her forever person now and is comfortable.’

The Cat Networking Agents are a branch of the larger non-profit, Dog Networking Agents, who help abandoned and shelter pets find new homes. It’s run by Alison, Hayley, and other volunteers, and at their peak they have been able to help 75 cats find a forever home in a month.

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Threesomes can be a tricky business.

There are many reasons to explore the ménage à trois, but if you’re entering this new realm of sexual experimentation as a couple, tread easy.

Unless you’re part of a ‘singles-only’ threesome or acting as the third party invited to join a couple, you could do irreparable damage to your relationship.

Fantasies are all well and good, but when it comes down to it, are you ready to see your partner sleep with someone else?

‘I’ve had seven or eight threesomes, not counting sex parties where there have been more than three people involved,’ Chris, who is in an open marriage, tells Metro.co.uk.

‘I’ve been the guest star a couple of times, but the rest have been with a partner. Three of the occasions were with two men and one woman, but the rest have been with myself and two women. It’s a different dynamic, but both are hot in their own way.

‘During the first threesome I had with a girlfriend, we invited a woman I already knew quite well. It was three years ago.

‘My girlfriend and I had a chat about it beforehand, because we knew it might happen at some point. There was no jealousy, but I believe that’s to some extent within our control. I knew that she didn’t want to be an observer; while she definitely got off watching me with another woman, she needed to be involved, too.

‘Our “guest” stayed over and the three of us had breakfast together in the morning.

‘Communication is definitely key, but you can’t account for everything that can go wrong.

‘Be honest with each other and talk about what might make you jealous.’

Evelyn* is engaged and has had three threesomes with her fiancé.

‘You need to both be on the same page and understand each other’s limits as much as you do turn-ons.

‘If one wants to do it more than the other, it won’t work. You also need to be prepared going into a situation that you may go into it feeling one way, and could come out feeling another.

‘For example, one person in the couple may not enjoy it as much as they thought they would. And this is OK, the other person just needs to be understanding, and in the long run can make things better the next time.

‘Also, regardless of what you do with your partner, always use protection with the other person. It’s obvious, but it’s always worth taking your own condoms into the situation. Better to be safe than have to deal with anything else later.

‘The biggest thing however is consent. When going into a threesome, consent is obviously given by all partners. But it shouldn’t stop there.

‘It’s important to us that we continuously ask for it during the sex. There are things that we think are OK that aren’t OK for the third party. For example, she might not like toys or might only want oral and though we try and communicate this before we have sex, as I said before, these feelings can change – so do double-check.

‘As a couple, my fiancé and I are often hailed for this, and have been told it makes the other person feel safe and more comfortable.’

Evelyn has only had one bad experience when sharing her partner, but it was during a swingers scenario, rather than a threesome.

‘She [the woman in the other couple] got really funny and protective over her partner and didn’t communicate anything,’ said Evelyn.

‘It got really awkward and we tapped out.’

Dr Christine Campbell, a senior lecturer in psychology, tells Metro.co.uk that there is very little research on the psychological effects of threesomes.

‘It’s estimated that around 5% of people are in some form of consensually non-monogamous relationship, which include ones which include a romantic element, like polyamory, and ones which are entirely sexual, like swinging, of which threesomes are a particular type.

‘We currently have no data on the psychological implications of experiencing a threesome, either as a partner, or as the “third”.

‘People have plenty of anecdotes, but of course they’re heavily skewed reports from people who either have great times or terrible times, so whenever people hear about other people having threesomes, they should take what they hear with a pinch of salt – everyone’s experiences are likely to be very different.

‘We do have data about the psychological effects of participating in casual sex – friends with benefits, hookups etc.– but that doesn’t really apply here.

‘What seems to result in better experiences is if the ground rules are decided on beforehand. An example – some people might want to limit their first, or all, encounters to soft play (swinger term for non-penetrative activities). Some might want to put specific acts on a banned list (for example, oral sex).

‘This helps give a sense of “dyadic containment” (science speak for “there are things that only we do together, and thus our relationship has boundaries others can’t enter and that keeps it special).

‘I am always concerned about how the “third” is impacted. There’s a bit of a joke in the consensual non-monogamy community about heterosexual couples looking for bisexual single women. It’s said that they’re looking for a “unicorn”, and in the same way that unicorns are mythical, so too is a woman who will come, fulfil your fantasies, and then disappear.’

Although research is limited, there are a few recent studies that have been conducted on the topic.

According to one from 2017, the idea of having a threesome was vastly more appealing to men (82%) than women (31%).

It’s however worth noting that this was a small study of 300 people and  all participants were aged between 18 to 24 years old.

Another study from 2016, published in the Journal of Positive Sexuality, volume two, provided insight on why people choose to have threesomes.

Although it’s often assumed this is to ‘live out a fantasy’, the research actually showed that the biggest reason was curiosity (31%), followed by people saying they were ‘drunk or it just happened’.

To help you out, we’ve put together a handy guide on how to make your threesome fantasy a reality.

But whatever your reasons for going from a twosome to a threesome, communication remains the most important factor.

Make sure you’re comfortable and that you’re not doing it purely to please a partner.

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A headdress of white feathers accessorised with the blood of a chicken might sound like Lady Gaga’s latest stunt – but this was something created and worn before she was even born.

This fashionista was Marchesa Luisa Casati, an extravagant Italian heiress who lived a life far removed from ordinary.

Her story is one of those uncovered and retold in what is thought to be the world’s first LGBTQ cemetery tour.

The men behind the Queerly Departed tour, Sacha Coward and Sheldon Goodman have painstakingly unearthed the stories of people from across the LGBTQ spectrum who are buried in Brompton cemetery near Earl’s Court, London.

Over 150,000 people are buried there but so far, Sheldon and Sacha have only been able to complete 12, six of which feature on the first tour taking place on 23 February.

Sacha explains: ‘With LGBT history, you very rarely get something that says “Hello I am a gay man and this is my gay boyfriend.”

‘It is all between the lines. They talk about ‘bachelors’ and ‘travelling companions’. In terms of transgender people, you get terms like ‘flamboyant’ and ‘a thespian’ but really this was a person who was playing with their gender.’

Sheldon adds: ‘With a lot of these stories, there is nothing concrete but there are suspicions. You can look at who they associated with, what parties they were seen at. Newspaper archives are really useful because there are reports of where people are going and you can piece a picture together.

‘We can never know for sure but we can frame that little bit of history. It might have been a very open secret but they would never have outright said because they simply weren’t allowed to back then.’

The pair, who have been friends for years, have previously specialised in cemetery tours but never specifically from an LGBTQ perspective.

Sacha has worked in museums and heritage for the past seven years but last year, he went freelance and focuses on researching LGBTQ history.

Sheldon worked as a tour guide at Westminster but had always had an interest in cemeteries so he started blogging about it and organising his own tours.

They previously created a tour at Tower Hamlets cemetary together for Halloween.

Last year, when they were approached by Brompton Cemetary about funding for an LGBTQ specific tour, they jumped at the chance.

Sacha adds: ‘We wanted to tell the stories of people who you might not always come across.

‘If you go to a cemetery, you see a plaque about all the famous straight, white men who are burried there. This is a museum of people and there are so many stories that go untold.

‘Both me and Sheldon identify as queer so we are into queer history so when we were contacted by Brompton cemetary and they asked if we wanted to “queer this cemetery”, we immediately said yes.

‘We met up with Danielle Gilbert who works here and we started looking into some of the stories.’

Some of the people buried at Brompton are well-known names, who are believed to have been queer and the team started by looking at their stories. Others weren’t quite as well-known but they were able to piece together some information.

Sacha explained: ‘There was a little bit of groundwork done in Brompton but nothing really focused.

‘Our role is not to go back in time and stick labels on people who were born 200 years ago because those words didn’t exist. Those identities were not fully fleshed out. The word queer is powerful because all we are saying is these are people who did not practice hetero-normative gender or sexual lives.

‘By wading through archives and books, we can piece together these ideas. With Luisa, for example, I knew I wanted to talk about her because she looks like a diva and the sort of person drag performers are inspired by.

‘I found out she lived in Capri, which I knew was a hang out for gay and lesbian people. I read she knew Romain Brooks, a famous queer artist. I read a book about Romain and found in a footnote there, a bit about how Romain’s girlfriend was very jealous when she and Luisa painted each other naked. It was those little breadcrumbs I was looking for.’

Sheldon adds: ‘We are going to be respectful. We don’t want to say anything that is untrue, that is unfounded and we don’t want to point at anyone. If we aren’t certain, we are happy to say that.’

Although this is just a start, they hope to do more research and uncover more stories.

They are also asking the public to help them by letting them know any stories about people buried in Brompton.

‘We have 12 stories that we have researched in total and we have decided to tell about five to six stories,’ Sacha says.

‘Those are the ones that have the most meat on the bone but also we have chosen them because we want to be representative across the queer community.

‘Often when you go to a queer event, it is white, gay men and we want to include as many groups as we can.

‘We also want to acknowledge that there are lots of people who aren’t included at the minute. Our tour doesn’t include a single person of colour. They are here, we are sure of it but we just haven’t been able to find them yet. We have tried to address those gaps with our performers.

‘We want to prove that this is successful and we want to show there is an audience for this so we can do more going forward.

‘We have created a working document and we want people to be able to add  more and more information. If anyone has any LGBTQ+ stories associated with Bromptom Cemetary, they can get in touch with us. They can be big or small – they don’t have to be a famous person. They can just be something for us to add to our working document.’

‘This tour is about showing that there were people who lived like us and not letting their stories be forgotten.’

Sheldon and Sacha shared some of their favourite stories from the tour with Metro.co.uk.

Marchesa Luisa Casati

Born 23/01/1881 and died 01/06/1957

Luisa was an Italian, heiress, muse and party girl; the original Lady Gaga.

She delighted European courtiers for over three decades with her legendary style and glamour; she knew how to make an entrance to any party.

She wore snakes as live jewellery and had a pair of leopards on leashes encrusted with diamonds; as well as dressing as the Empress of Austria for little reason other than she could.

She had numerous affairs with both men and women; and held residence at Villa San Michele in Capri; a gay and lesbian destination.

She was painted by Romaine Brooks, much to Brooks’ lovers chagrin.

Sadly, despite her wild life, she died in poverty at the age of 76 in rather restrained means; she was $25 million in debt at one stage and was living in a one bedroom flat in Knightbridge.

She was one seen rummaging in some bins to get feathers for her hair.

Luisa died in Knightsbridge and is buried in a common grave.

Ernest Thesiger

Born 15/01/1879 and died 14/01/1961

Ernest was a character actor who appeared in nearly sixty films, his best known role being Dr. Septimus Pretorius in The Bride of Frankenstein  and was educated at Marlborough College and the Slade School of Art.

At the Slade he met the painter William Bruce Ellis Ranken and began an intimate relationship that somehow survived Ernest’s  decision to marry Ranken’s sister Janette in 1917.

The three became almost inseparable but William died unexpectedly in 1941, uniting them in grief.

He adored needlework and stitching, he was an authority on it and published a book about it in 1941.

Alec Guinness remembers seeing him in an antiques market surrounded by mocking thugs; he calmly quipped ‘in Chelsea I’m known as the stitching bitch – now, buzz off.’

Other anecdotes have him at a soiree full of handsome young men and cooly asking aloud ‘Anyone for a spot of buggery?’.

He potentially saved the life of director Henry Hathaway at a dinner, where a young hot-headed actor lost his nerve and held a knife to his throat.

Thesiger put down his needle point, walked over, smacked the knife out of the enraged actor’s hand and snapped ‘It’s very rude to point.’

Nellie Farren

Born 16/04/1848 and died 29/04/1904

Nellie Farren was an actress and singer known for being a ‘principle boy’ in performances – where a woman played a young boy in a theatrical context.

She specialised in musical burlesque which permitted an actress in the Victorian era theatre to show her legs in tights, whilst pretending to be a boy, to a largely male audience.

Roles she originated in travesti include Little Jack Sheppard, the infamous thief and jail breaker of 18th century London and Robert the Devil, a spoof parody opera by W.S Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan fame, loosely based on a French medieval tale where a knight finds out he’s the son of Satan.

The songs she popularised in the music hall fashion include A Street Boy’s Life and I’m a Jolly Little Chap All Round.

Her later years had her plagued by a spinal complaint which flared up after an attack of rheumatic fever.

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‘It’s calming – but it’s more like drinking a chamomile tea, than smoking a spliff,’ says Heather, the manager of plant-based eatery Kalifornia Kitchen.

She’s explaining the effects of CBD (aka Cannabidiol), the legal wellness wonder drug that’s become the go-to ingredient for cocktails, croissants, and coffees all over London.

A week ago, I’d never even heard of CBD, but then I was accidentally booked into a Cannabliss class at Gymbox in Cannon Street.

Revved to review a workout where I’d be flipping tyres and hitting targets with a massive mallet, I found myself in a deep stretch class where CBD patches were handed out at the start.

I stuck it on my leg, expecting absolutely nothing, and I felt fairly cynical when a woman told me afterwards that the class had done more for her shoulder injury than six weeks of physiotherapy.

But on my way out, I found myself laughing when I used the wrong turnstile. I continued laughing as I pushed the door instead of pulling it, and when I got home, I wasn’t remotely bothered when I realised I’d forgotten my trainers.

The next day I was in an exceptionally good mood, despite an appointment I’d been dreading with a guy I’d built up four months’ of irritation towards. I astonished myself with my cheeriness towards him, and wondered what was actually in that CBD patch.

Dr. Dani Gordon, who specialises in cannabis medicine, tells me that CBD is a chemical that’s derived from a version of the cannabis plant that’s been bred to contain only trace amounts of THC, which is the element of cannabis that gets you high.

Instead, ‘CBD can have a calming effect and it can reduce stress, but it’s not intoxicating and it doesn’t make you feel high, so there’s no comedown effect,’ she explains.

Dr. Dani sounds skeptical when I tell her about my experience with the CBD patch. She explains that a CBD patch that’s available to consumers (as opposed to medical grade CBD), ‘might have a calming effect on some people who are very sensitive,’ however, she suggests that the way I felt was also due to the effects of the breathing and stretching I was doing in class. I’d be with Dr. Dani on this, only I average around six hours of yoga a week.

Intrigued and keen to recreate my blissed-out state, I arrange to try a CBD infused croissant at Glow Bar, a wellness space for women that includes a café and sauna pods. I arrive stressed and sweltering, because I’m late to meet my friend Alexis, and I’ve been running through the rain with my head encased in a hooded ski jacket (don’t ask).

Alexis is already a convert to CBD, as she’s been taking it since November to combat insomnia. She says: ‘It was recommended to me by a friend with anxiety. I take a drop of oil on my tongue before bed and it soothes me – 15 minutes later I’m asleep.’

So Alexis is well up for trying the croissant, and while I usually find pastries as appealing as soggy cardboard, this one is amazing. I’d recommend it even if it weren’t for the CBD.

Zosia, who works behind the counter, tells me they’ve been serving the CBD croissants since she started at Glow Bar five months ago.

‘We get 20 in on a Friday morning, and by the end of Saturday, they’ve all gone,’ she says, telling me that some of the regulars reserve them. ‘People say they feel calmer and more at ease afterwards,’ she says, adding that customers usually order the croissant with a Golden Moon Milk, a CBD infused almond based drink with no caffeine.

From Glow Bar, it’s a short stroll to Kalifornia Kitchen, where Anna takes her CBD latte to go, and I sit down with mine to talk to Heather, who tells me it’s one of their most popular drinks. She says: ‘Some people have it to start their day, so they’re awake but calm. Other people have it at the weekend, after a burger or a pancake.’

Anna tells us there’s one drop of CBD in the latte because ‘it’s got a strong flavour – it’s quite earthy.’ Customers tell Heather the latte’s amazing – but it’s not just the taste.

‘CBD’s best known for helping with anxiety, but it’s also great for migraines, and I find it helps with period pains,’ says Heather.

I spend the rest of the day loving my life. I could not be happier.

Alexis, who I call the next day, tells me the croissant gave her a gentle lift. She says: ‘I felt peaceful and at ease, even though it was a busy, stressful day.’ She’s not sure about the coffee, explaining, ‘I’d have to try it on its own.’

I continue my CBD spree at the weekend, over High Tea at Farmacy with my friend Jamie. The miniature lemon meringue is divine, and so is the chocolate & praline ganache. In fact, everything on the cake stand is jolly nice, but despite a CBD infused cocktail, and a pot of hemp leaf tea, I have not reached cannabliss.

It’s only as we take a last look at the menu before leaving, that we realise we were served our High Tea minus the truffles. Out of all treats on the cake stand, only the truffles are CBD infused, so perhaps the truffles can bring us our bliss? We’re given some frozen ones to take away in a doggy bag, and despite our full tummies, we head to Yogland,  a few doors down.

We’re here to try the Hemp Matcha frozen yogurt, which is infused with CBD. It’s a limited edition flavour, and Ralph, who’s looking after our frozen yogurt needs, tells us: ‘When we announced we’re getting it in, people get excited. We can sell 50-60 Hemp Matchas on a busy day – and more via delivery platforms.’

The CBD is added to the Hemp Matcha at the time it’s made, and there’s one milligram in every serving. ‘The hemp flavour complements the CBD,’ says Ralph, who adds that if anyone wants to mix the Hemp Matcha with other flavours, they only have to ask.

I adore my Hemp Matcha with my almond flake topping, and Jamie enjoys his with white chocolate pieces. But as lovely as it’s been, this weekend doesn’t bring me bliss, even when I eat my defrosted truffles for breakfast on Sunday morning. Jamie tells me he felt ‘pretty relaxed’ and he barely touched his CBD cocktail – so I wonder why I’m not feeling it.

Have I built up an immunity, miraculously quickly?

I ask Dr. Dani, who assures me I haven’t: ‘The calming effects of CBD build up in your system over time. It’s more likely that it might have been the vehicle, the absorption rate, the quality of the product, and what you had in your stomach at the time – all those factors would contribute to you noticing an effect.’

I had rather a lot in my stomach at the time, so hopefully that mystery’s solved.

If I want to buy this legal wonder drug to take at home, what should I look out for? ‘Go for an organic CBD oil that’s third party tested, and processed using the supercritical CO2 extraction method, as this produces the best form of CBD,’ advises Dani.

Sounds easy – if not as fun as a workout followed by croissants.

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People have fallen in love with a long white dress from Fashion Nova, with some saying it would make the perfect wedding dress.

The Ancient Rome dress in white is a maxi length, floaty dress with a crochet top and open back.

It’s lined and has a frayed hem.

Fashion Nova shared an image of the dress to its Instagram page, and it’s so far received over 62,000 likes and comments such as ‘I need this’.

Other people have been tagging their friends, saying it would make the perfect wedding or maternity dress – with some commenting to say they actually bought the dress for their own wedding receptions, and that it’s stunning in real-life.

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The dress costs $34.99 (£27), which is why it’s made such an amazing impression – because it’s super cheap for what it is.

So far, it’s had almost 1000 reviews on the website, and has received five stars.

One person called it a ‘goddess dress’, while another wrote: ‘I purchased this dress for my baby shower in a size small. I’m 5 ft 3 in tall.I loved that the dress was long, because it provided extra fabric for my baby bump. I wore flats so the back dragged, but I was okay with that. The backless feature and the adjustable straps make this dress very comfortable and I loved that!’

According to reviewers, the dress is very comfortable and the fabric is soft and good quality.

One person said it even made her love her body again: ‘I recently gave birth to my baby girl & have yet to lose the extra pounds I gained while pregnant. But THIS DRESS is soooo forgiving. It looks lovely on me even though my body is not what it once was. I wish I would’ve worn it to my own baby shower!!’

As you can tell, this dress has been a hit with customers – so we don’t imagine it’ll be in stock online for very long.

So, if you’ve got a wedding reception or baby shower coming up, maybe this is the perfect dress for you.

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If you’ve lived in London long enough, you’ll know just how quickly – and drastically – things change.

A street you walked down ten years ago will feel entirely different to the same location today. Local businesses close, pop-ups come and go, characters move on.

Doreen Fletcher captured those changes with her illustrations of London’s East End.

For twenty years Doreen painted her views of London streets, documenting their transformation across three decades. She gave up because of a lack of recognition.

But in 2015, her illustrations were rediscovered and found an audience.

Now, for the first time, a retrospective will be shown of her work between 1983 and 2004, showcasing her recreations of London streets.

The exhibition is taking place at the Nunnery Gallery in East London, from now until Sunday 24 March, but you can see a few of Doreen’s works below.

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We love animal print – but Public Desire has launched some new snake skin boots and we’re not sure what to make of them.

The sterling belted over the knee boots are essentially crotchless trousers with boots built into them.

They’re thigh-high snake boots that come attached to a waistband, which could be strangely practical, given how annoying it is when thigh-high boots slide down your legs.

The model in the picture wears them with black shorts underneath, as well as blue denim skinny jeans, and it sort of looks like she’s ready to go horse riding.

The product description reads: ‘Make a serious statement!

‘These thigh high belted boots are the head turners to end all head turners. With a block heel, pointy toe and belted details in a slouchy fit. Pair these with anything from skinny jeans to oversized tees.’

The £59.99 boots come in sizes 3-8 and are also available in green and black – but the best look by far is the snake print.

Honestly, we’ve got to give it to Public Desire for the out-there idea, but these boots look like a mission to put on – let alone to take off.

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While I don’t remember eating my first ever Yorkshire pudding, I do remember the first time I made one.

I was about four years old, and was helping my mum. It was hard work using a hand held whisk and my arms ached.

Yorkshires were a fundamental part of my childhood. Sometimes we would have the Yorkshire puddings as a starter with lashings of onion gravy.

The batter was always made in good time before Sunday dinner was served. Once mixed it stood in the fridge for a few hours before more whisking just prior to pouring it into the baking tray.

While Yorkshire puddings have always been present at home, it took a while for me to realise they were my professional calling. When I left school at 17 I first got into fish.

I grew up in Hull, within the heartland of the fishing industry. The industry was abundant in the 60s and 70s and I followed in the steps of many teenagers working in ‘fish houses.’

Later in my career I was moved to a fish factory that I would have to pass the Yorkshire pudding factory to get to. I could see the factory growing year after year, and I knew I was meant to be part of it.

I was raised up on Yorkshires. It felt like fate – but it actually took me applying three times to get accepted for the job.

What made the difference on the third attempt? Well, when I was asked why I wanted to join the company, I thought back to my childhood and answered, ‘I just love Yorkshire puddings.’

In my role as a Yorkshire pudding guru I share the research of food scientists, and the best manufacturing techniques with the wider production teams to make sure every pudding is perfect.

I work very closely with the operations team. Daily forages in to the bakery are a must as we keep a watchful eye on our sea of Yorkshire puddings.

Close relationships with the suppliers of the key ingredients is now a way of life. It’s like visiting family and it’s reciprocated.

Data collection and analysis plays a big part and is a necessity of my role. I’ve been monitoring raw material characteristics for over 14 years and their affect during mixing, depositing the batter, through baking and freezing.

It’s an intriguing science and one which I can say is now understandable, explainable and incredibly fascinating, (as any guru will tell you)!

What do they say? ‘Give a man a Yorkshire pudding and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to bake them and you feed him for a lifetime.’ That’s the famous saying, right?

It certainly applies to me at least. I’m about to attempt to calculate how many Yorkshires I’ve eaten.

I learnt how to make them at four, and I’m now 62. In my early years I’d maybe eat a couple for Sunday dinner and leftovers as dessert with golden syrup (Oh yes, there’s a whole chapter to be written about sweet Yorkshires).

That’s an average of three puddings a week for 23 years. I then married and my wife is a very traditional British cook.

We eat Yorkshires with meals like cottage pie, shepherd’s pie, meat pie, bangers and mash. I guess the rate of Yorkshire pudding consumption just escalated to an average of four a week for 39 years.

We also see a step change in 1994 when I joined Aunt Bessie’s. As my career progressed, I got more opportunities to sample my favourite food.

I doubled my weekly intake from around four to eight (and that’s only the ones I’ll admit to).

So, in total, I’ve probably consumed somewhere in the region of 18,000 Yorkshire puddings to date and I don’t see myself slowing down anytime soon.

People often ask me if it’s acceptable to eat Yorkshires with Christmas dinner. As a guru I can tell you it is not only acceptable, but encouraged.

It boils down to the equation: gravy with a meal = Yorkshire puddings on the plate.

Yorkshire puddings are versatile – canapes, starters, mains and puddings – they are perfect for any meal or any occasion.

The world is full of Yorkshire pudding experts and each one will have their own recipe or secret as to what makes on great.

Undoubtedly there is a whole science behind what makes a good Yorkshire pudding, and although I’d love to share that with you, you might find that after several hours of listening to my passionate ramblings you’d be ready to just accept that the proof is in the pudding.

The main thing is that the texture and structure should be crisp on the top edge, have softer bready side walls that lead to a little soggy bottom.

Just think of it like sliding into a lovely warm bubble bath and of course it has to hold my puddle of gravy inside.

When asked what my favourite way to serve a Yorkshire pudding is, I’m torn. It’s equivalent to asking which of your children is your favourite.

I still find myself stuck between the roast, toad in the hole, or my childhood favourite of syrupy Yorkshires.

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