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Woman wants to leave fiancé who pays for her degree for another man a week before the wedding

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Woman looking at a wedding dress
Woman wants to leave the fiancé who pays for her degree for another man a week before the wedding (Picture: Getty)

An engaged woman who is going to medical school has asked for advice on what to do after falling in love with another man, even though her wedding is in a week.

The bride-to-be, from the UK, said she was getting cold feet about the impending wedding with her boyfriend of four years who is paying for her degree at Harvard University in Boston.

The anonymous poster wrote that they had planned for a lavish destination wedding and she was unsure about going through with it.

Though neither her fiancé nor her parents know about the other guy, they do know about the bride’s cold feet.

But still, they insist that she should go through with the nuptials, especially as the fiancé has ‘spent so much time and effort planning the honeymoon in great detail’.

Her mum has also been pushing her to go through with the marriage, at least until she finishes her degree ‘and then maybe divorce him’.

So, the conflicted bride took to Mumsnet to ask what she should do.

Mum comforting adult daughter in bed
The bride-to-be’s mother said she ought to go through with it until she finishes her degree at least (Picture: Getty)

‘My wedding is literally next week and I’ve managed to fall for another guy,’ she wrote.

‘I don’t know what to do. My parents are not letting me cancel. My worries to my fiancé are falling on deaf ears. He said that we have done too much planning to cancel the wedding now.

‘I don’t know if I should get married to my fiancé and forget about the other guy (easiest option) or cancel the wedding and cause massive repercussions. I don’t even know if dating the other guy will work out in the long run.’

The poster explained that she and her partner, ten years older than her, have been through a long-distance relationship for three years and getting married seemed like the way to bridge that.

They also have different senses of humour and come from different countries.

‘We aren’t the perfect match but we get along fairly well. We have had our ups and downs but because we were sick of the long distance we decided to get married a few months ago,’ she said.

She added that she didn’t want to break her partner’s heart as he’s been pulling late nights trying to organise the honeymoon.

Silhouette of woman staring out of window
The poster wrote on Mumsnet that she has feelings for another man who’s closer in age to her (Picture: Getty)

The new man that she has realised she has feelings for is someone she met three months ago.

The pair are closer in age and have a natural chemistry, she said.

‘This other guy and I are more compatible. We are similar in age, he makes me laugh, we enjoy each other’s company a lot, and we have a big spark.

‘Other people have mentioned that they can tell we have so much chemistry. We haven’t really made a move since I am engaged.’

Man and woman flirting at the pub
She and the other man have better chemistry (Picture: Getty)

At the moment, their plans are to get married next week and then for the bride to move over to the U.S where she starts her degree in July.

She insisted that she plans on paying back all the money she will owe him, but her heart’s not in continuing the relationship.

‘I plan on paying him back the tuition eventually (£200,000) but don’t have that now obviously.

‘My mum doesn’t want me to let go of my place at Harvard. She wants me to marry this guy first, go to Harvard and then maybe divorce him if I’m not happy!’

Everyone on Mumsnet warned her not to go through with the wedding if she didn’t want to, no matter what the reasons are.

We don’t know what the bride-to-be chose to do.

MORE: Bride-to-be shamed for wearing two ‘ugly’ engagement rings when fiancé couldn’t choose one

MORE: Woman with depression who keeps falling asleep in public is worried about doing it at her own wedding

MORE: Bride asks male guests to ‘do their business’ in the bush for backyard wedding to save flushes


Destress at your desk with these 7 simple exercises

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Former rugby player and founder of The Strength Temple, Richie Norton, on the beach
Richie Norton, founder of The Strength Temple

When was the last time you put your mental health before your physical health?

Exactly.

Despite one in four of us experiencing mental health issues every year, we still put our mental wellbeing on the back burner.

However, just a few minutes investment into mental health each day can make a huge difference.

That’s why wellbeing guru and former rugby player Richie Norton has come up with a series of easy desk exercises designed to ‘boost your energy at your desk, or wherever you are.’

Norton’s own anxiety started when he was young, though it was not one thing that brought it about: ‘It’s a bit of a blur to when it all started and what triggered it as a kid. I have some faint memories from adjusting to a new school, getting bullied by the older kids and not wanting to tell anyone, my parents having problems and separating,’ says Norton.

And he’s very honest that, as a man, he didn’t deal with it in a healthy way: ‘I didn’t know how to share my feelings, that’s just not what guys did. The anger and frustration that built up inside eventually came out. I’d get into fights at school or in town with my mates, I’d drink and get in all sorts of trouble,’ explains Norton.

However, it was rugby that saved him. It gave him a healthy outlet and changed his whole being. But, after his rugby career came to an end, Norton had to find another outlet. So he founded The Strength Temple, a VIP personal training, diet and wellness hub.

Norton has spent the last 10 years getting athletes game-ready and actors movie-ready, focusing on both their physical and mental wellbeing. He uses a combination of meditation, breath work, callisthenics, capoeira, and yoga.

‘Just like the physical body needs to be trained to remain healthy, fit and strong, the mind is no different. When I’m able to move and have my headspace clear, I feel unstoppable,’ says Norton.

With that in mind, Norton has created a workout series that explores desk exercises, breath work to help with sleep, mindfulness and exercise to help beat stress and improve focus.

With the desk exercises, ‘the purpose is to get you to move and mobilise your shoulders and loosen up in order to find focus and calm, enabling you to have more energy and be more alert,’ says Norton.

‘Desk exercises have been around for a while, but still, I feel we need another reminder to how helpful they can be, knowing what we know about poor posture, stress and how it all affects our energy and mood.

‘We can forget how much it can help to take just a few minutes to go through some simple exercises, combined with a few mindful breaths and a chance to ‘check-in’ on how you’re feeling,’ Norton explains.

‘I’ve spent time hunched over an office desk, had to repair a broken rugby body, experimented with yoga, mobilisation tools and other movement practices over the years. Desk exercises are just the start, but I’ve seen it transform people’s lives at work,’ says Norton.

Norton has launched these new desk exercises in partnership with AXA, as part of their new ‘Headstrong’ initiative – helping with their mission to shift the nation’s attitude to championing mental health as well as physical health.

So, take five minutes at your desk and enjoy these seven easy steps to getting your day and your mind back on track:

Step one:

Start with a nice calm breathing rhythm. Take a full inhale in and out through the nose and keep with that rhythm. Try and focus your mind on your breathing, or on an object, like the chair youre sitting on.

Step two:

Maintaining your breathing rhythm, conduct the first exercise. Place your left hand on your knee and right arm up in the air and breathe in. When you breathe out, reach over and stretch the right-hand side of your body and bring back round. Switch sides and repeat the exercise.

Step three:

Cross your left shin over your right knee and take a nice big breath in. As you breathe out, fold yourself forwards over your left leg. Take another breath in and out, and release. Change sides and repeat the exercise.

Step four:

Slightly widen your feet and take a full breath in. Reach down towards the floor, lengthening and stretching your back and pushing down towards the floor. Take a breath in and soften as you breathe out – you might even be able to touch the floor.

Richie Norton has come up with 7 simple steps to exercise at your desk
Richie Norton taking us through our desk-exercise paces

Step five:

Cross your left arm over to hold the top of your right thigh. Take a big breath in and put your right arm in the air and as you stretch over to the left, breathe out. Bring your arm all the way round and reach forwards in a circular motion, twisting through your back gently. Switch sides and repeat the exercise.

Step six:

Take a nice big breath in and open up your chest, pushing your shoulders back. Grab hold of the back of your chair and take a deep breath in. As you breathe out, move away from the back of the chair, while still holding, and slowly drop your chest through your shoulders. Open up your chest and take another big breath in and as you breathe out, soften your body and let your head hang down. Take a breath in, sit back up and inhale through your nose and back out through your nose.

Step seven:

Don’t rush – check-in with yourself at the end and go through the whole cycle again if you have time.

How to deal with stress: Tips on how to cope with everyday tensions

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Stressed mother pinching her forehead
Stress is a normal part of life (Picture: Getty Images/Tetra images RF/JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images LLC)

Unfortunately, feeling occasional stress is just a part of life.

Life can’t go smoothly all the time, and as such, experiencing stress every now and again is a natural part of being human.

However that doesn’t mean that the stress you feel can’t be managed.

We’ve already looked at ways to relieve stress when you’re under pressure – as a part of our Mental Health Awareness Week series covering the 15 most Googled questions on mental health – but what about the ways you can cope when stress is unavoidable?

Try regular exercise

The mental health charity Mind and the NHS both agree that exercise is beneficial for your mental health.

As the NHS puts it: ‘Being physically active can lift your mood, reduce stress and anxiety, encourage the release of endorphins (your body’s feel-good chemicals) and improve self-esteem.

‘Exercising may also be a good distraction from negative thoughts, and it can improve social interaction.’

Take a 20 minute break outside

According to new research, just 20-30 minutes of daily walking outside in nature could have a beneficial effect on your mental health.

This is because these nature walks have been shown to cut people’s levels of the stress hormone cortisol by around 10%.

It should be noted that the more time you spend either walking or even just sitting outside, the better the study’s results suggests you’ll feel, but those first 20-30 minutes have the strongest effect.

Dr. Mary Carol Hunter, who led the study, said: ‘Our study shows that for the greatest payoff, in terms of efficiently lowering levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, you should spend 20 to 30 minutes sitting or walking in a place that provides you with a sense of nature.’

A woman taking a bubble bath
Everybody needs time to relax (Picture: stevecoleimages/Getty Images/E+)

Take some time for yourself

According to the NHS, one of their 10 stress busters is taking ‘me’ time.

Professor Cary Cooper, an occupational health expert at the University of Lancaster, recommends setting a couple nights a week aside for time away from work, saying: ‘We all need to take some time for socialising, relaxation or exercise.’

Accept the things you cannot change

Some stressful things in life are simply out of your hands, so you may well find that the energy spent stressing over some of these things is effectively wasted.

As Professor Cooper says: ‘If your company is going under and is making redundancies, for example, there’s nothing you can do about it.

‘In a situation like that, you need to focus on the things that you can control, such as looking for a new job.’

Male doctor reading a patient's information
Speak to your GP if you think your stress isn’t manageable (Picture: Shutterstock / TippaPatt)

See your doctor

If you’re finding that your stress levels are unmanageable, then you should seek advice from your GP.

As Dr Obuaya, Consultant Psychiatrist at Nightingale Hospital, told Metro: ‘For some people, their level of stress is so high that they need to see their GP for consideration of a referral for talking therapy and, in some cases, medication that relieves severe anxiety.’

Mental Health questions answered

Google's most-asked mental health questions in 2019 so far:

According to Google, the most frequently asked 'how to' questions relating to mental health this year so far are:

1. How to relieve stress
2. How to help anxiety
3. How to stop worrying
4. How to stop a panic attack
5. How to deal with stress
6. How to cope with depression
7. How to know if you have anxiety
8. How to know if you have depression
9. How to help someone with PTSD
10. How to overcome social anxiety
11. How to get help for depression
12. How to treat OCD
13. How to help a depressed friend
14. How to overcome a phobia
15. How to treat PTSD

Mind

Mind provide information and support on a variety of mental health issues, including stress.

Their helplines are open 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).

Call: 0300 123 3393

Email: info@mind.org.uk

Text: 86463

MORE: My Label and Me: I want ginger people to know how freaking cool their hair is

MORE: Can you drink too much water?

Find a Deliveroo golden egg in your meal and win £5,000 in credit

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Deliveroo is celebrating the finale of Game of Thrones
If you find a Deliveroo egg, you could win £5,000 credit (Picture: Deliveroo)

Fancy £5,000 worth of Deliveroo credit? Well, you can get your hands on it if you find a dragon egg hidden in your meal.

Deliveroo is celebrating the Game of Thrones finale with a dragon egg hunt.

They’re hiding five dragon eggs in food orders, and each one will give you £5,000 of Deliveroo credit – which, according to the food delivery app, is ‘enough credit to feast on delicious takeaway for years to come’.

All you need to do to win is find a specially designed 3D-printed golden dragon egg, which will be hidden in random orders as part of the #MondayIsComing campaign.

The offer will last until 20th May – and you will have to claim your prize by then, as that’s when Game of Thrones airs in the UK.

Winning would be brilliant – as it would mean you can celebrate the finale with all the takeaway you desire. Amazing.

Joe Groves at Deliveroo said, ‘we know our customers are huge fans of the show, every Monday throughout the season orders have been soaring higher than Drogon.

‘We wanted to soften the blow that the series is coming to an end and what better way to do it than with a huge loot of Deliveroo credit. There are five chances to win one of our golden scaley creations.’

MORE: Lidl and Aldi battle it out over square sausage ‘invention’

MORE: Aldi launched three new gins – including one that tastes like liquorice allsorts

Mums praise 87p Asda bubble bath for helping babies sleep through the night

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The bubble bath has been helping babies sleep through the night
The baby bubble bath has been praised online (Picture: Getty)

Mums have dubbed Asda’s own-brand bubble bath a ‘miracle worker’, claiming it helps their babies sleep through the night.

The 87p Little Angels Vapour Bath gives off a menthol aroma to help soothe babies – though people are also using it for anxiety, migraines and colds.

It has gained many five-star reviews from raving parents, who have said it’s the one thing that helps their babies sleep all the way through the night.

One mum said: ‘I brought this for my seven-week-old daughter, since birth she hasn’t had a full night’s sleep waking up every 2-3 hours, but after having a bath with Asda’s Little Angels menthol bubble bath. She slept a full night’s sleep.’

Another wrote: ‘This smells lovely and I always use it for my little boy when he has a cold before bed and it really seems to help him settle and relieve him a little.’

Another mum said: ‘Just used this on my one month old as he’s been really sniffly for a while with cold and as soon as he was in the bath for few mins we noticed his breathing improved.

The 87p bubble bath
It costs just 87p (Picture: Asda)

‘And he settled down to sleep so much better and no raspy breathing! Would deffo recommend to everyone I know!’

Alongside this, people have been using the baby bubble bath for themselves – one person has even used it to help her anxiety.

She said: ‘I have used this product for years – I don’t have children but it really helps with my anxiety to relax me I can highly recommend it.’

Another who uses it for migraines wrote: ‘I had seen that similar branded products helped with headaches and migraines and was on the hunt for those when I stumbled across this.

‘It’s an absolute lifesaver. I use it for when the Mr has his manflu and for myself when the migraine appears. Great price and does the job well. Well done Asda!!’

The bubble bath is currently available in stores and online.

Asda describes it as being perfect for a ‘soothing scented soak’. It has a ‘no tears’ formula and a menthol arome to help ‘soothe and comfort’.

It’s also paediatrician approved and quality approved by Mumsnet mums, as well as having been dermatologically tests.

Asda adds: ‘Caring for baby Our Little Angels Vapour Bath has been specially formulated with all your baby’s needs in mind.

‘The mild and gentle formula gently cleanses, whilst the menthol aroma helps to soothe and comfort.

‘It’s paraben free, hypoallergenic, dermatologically tested and paediatrician approved ensuring it’s just right for your little angel.’

MORE: Asda is selling unicorn crumpets this spring

MORE: Morphe Cosmetics releases brand new palette full of sparkles and shimmers

How drawing a sketch a day helped me get over my brother’s suicide

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Illustrator Ella Masters and her brother Saul are photographed together at the British Summer Time Festival in Hyde Park in 2017
Ella Masters with her brother Saul in 2017 at the British Summer Time Festival in Hyde Park

Just over a year ago Ella Masters lost her brother Saul when he took his own life. Only three years earlier in 2015, Ella and Saul had lost their mother to a severe asthma attack.

But, instead of being angry, Ella bought herself an A6 sketchbook, a pack of Posca pens and started to search through her work for ‘the beauty in death’.

Ella says: ‘My brother wasn’t just my brother, he was an incredible writer, supporter of my work, someone with endless potential. He was creative and kind and his death felt like a terrible waste.

‘Rather than spend my time being angry I wanted to take myself away and fill my time with something that was going to help me create space for my grief.’

Illustrator and creator of #ella365project on Carnaby Street
Ella Masters, who has created 365 illustrations over the past year under the hashtag #ella365project after her brother took his life last year

Every day for the next year, she gave herself an hour a day to switch off and draw one illustration to help her navigate her way through her loss.

‘I set myself a hashtag #ella365project so I could have my drawings in one place. This enabled me to be accountable, to keep myself on track so I could see how far I’ve come,’ Ella says.

Ella holds her sketchbook showing her 'If it was easy everybody would do it' sketch for the day from her #ella365project
One of Ella’s sketches from her #ella365project

‘I also shared a snap of the pages on my Instagram under that hashtag and had some incredible feedback and support from followers, magazines, podcasts and from people who said that seeing the posts every day helped them with their mental health.

‘I even had a few followers tell me their story and say that seeing my work helped them to find confidence to get help when they were close to suicide,’ she says.

Ella Master's 'If it was easy everybody would do it' sketch now made into a print
Ella’s ‘If IT Were Easy Everybody Would Do It’ print, available at We Built This City on Carnaby Street

Ella completed the project on 27 April of this year and it is now being featured in an exhibition at We Built This City, a shop on Carnaby Street, London.

After first discovering Ella via Instagram in 2015, when they were looking for a portrait illustrator, team saw Ella’s project and wanted to support her and her message.

An Ella Master's print that reads: 'I must be fine cause my hearts still beating' from her #ella365project
A print from Ella’s #ella365project

‘We were so captivated by watching Ella produce these enriching and healing illustrations through Instagram, we wanted to support her in bringing this body of work to a bigger audience,’ says Alice Mayor, the founder of We Built This City.

A selection of Ella’s sketches from her #ella365project can be viewed now in thea free exhibition at We Built This City as part of Mental Health Awareness Week 2019.

 

You can buy Ella’s sketches in print or postcard format in store or online, with a percentage of every sale donated to CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) charity.

On the 17 or 22 May, you can take a drawing workshop with Ella, or visit We Built This City to have your portrait drawn by Ella for £15. First-come, first-served from midday Saturday 18 May 2019. 

Follow Ella and her work on Instagram here.

Co-op launches £1 bags of halloumi fries crisps – and they’re vegetarian

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They're completely vegetarian
The new halloumi crisps cost £1 (Picture: Co-op)

Co-op has released a bag of halloumi fries crisps – so you can now eat your favourite side dish on the go.

The potato tube-shaped crisps feature the flavour of halloumi cheese, they also have a hint of chilli.

Oh, and the best news? They’re vegetarian.

The crisps cost £1 for a 100g bag and they’re currently limited edition.

According to Pretty52, the retailer wanted to jump on the halloumi trend and thought crisps were a great way to do so.

Ursula Artjoki, Co-op crisps, snacks and nuts developer, said: ‘We’ve seen halloumi fries pop-up on many a restaurant menu over the past year.

‘So, we wanted to put our Co-op spin on this trend and give our customers the chance to enjoy the popular flavour conveniently in a crisp offering.

‘Co-op Halloumi Fries are a really moreish crowd-pleaser that won’t last long once the bag gets opened.’

The crisps are selling for £1
Co-op wanted to jump on the latest trend (Picture: Co-op)

Halloumi fries aren’t the only new crisps on the shelves – Co-op has also released coconut and chargrilled pineapple tortilla chips, and aromatic crispy duck and hoisin crisps, both priced at £1.70.

Alongside this, they’ve also launched lamb kofta and halloumi flatbread crisps, again at £1.50 for a 150g bag.

Back to the cheese though, if you’re wanting actual halloumi fries, Aldi has relaunched its fries for £2.29.

The cheesy fries were first released last May, after the supermarket spotted how popular they were at Nando’s.

Aldi’s Specially Selected Golden & Crispy Specially Selected Halloumi Fries are available in stores already and can be found in the frozen foods aisle.

Aldi says: ‘Inspired by a similar offering from popular Portuguese chicken eatery, Nando’s; Aldi’s Specially Selected Haloumi Fries are made with scrumptiously soft – and salty – halloumi cheese from Cyprus and a lightly seasoned crispy coating making them the perfect side or snack for sharing.

‘So, get the sauce ready, start dipping and say hallou to halloumi heaven!’

MORE: Lidl and Aldi battle it out over square sausage ‘invention’

MORE: Aldi launched three new gins – including one that tastes like liquorice allsorts

How to treat OCD, as well as symptoms and causes

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What happens at a mental health support group
Therapy can help (Picture: Dave Anderson for Metro.co.uk)

One of the most common and enduring misconceptions about OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) is that it’s simply about cleaning or counting.

In reality, the condition affects people in myriad ways – although it can include those things – to the point it may take many people a long time to be officially diagnosed.

It can also be a mental illness with people find shameful, leading them to hold off on seeking help, or not disclose the extent of their problems when they.

This then can lead to isolation, but it’s vital that if you think you have OCD that you get the necessary treatment. Here’s a rundown of signs you might have it, as well as how to treat it.

OCD symptoms

OCD is characterised by obsessions and compulsions, but these manifest in different ways.

Obsessions typically come in the form of urges or thoughts that make you feel anxious or cause you discomfort, while compulsions can include (but are not limited to) the following):

  • Checking (for example, making sure over and over that taps or switches are off at night)
  • Cleaning
  • Washing the body
  • Repetitive acts (such as tapping a certain point a number of times)
  • Repetitive sayings (saying or thinking the same word over and over)
  • Ordering items in the home or at work
  • Hoarding
  • Collecting items
  • Counting items
Mental health illustration
You’re not alone (Picture: Ella Byworth/ Metro.co.uk)

Sometimes compulsions are observable to others, and sometimes they remain under the surface. In most cases, though they exist as a way for the person to feel some sort of relief from their obsessions, with their mind telling them that the compulsion will ‘make things better’ if they perform it in the right way.

A small number of people also find that they experience something called Pure O, which is the obsessions without the outward compulsions (although the specifics of this are debated). Others experience things such as false memories, too.

OCD causes

There is no known cause for OCD, although it’s thought that it’s a combination of genetics, chemicals in the brain, and whether someone has had any traumatic events.

Those who are already anxious – as well as those with neat and methodical personalities – are also more likely to develop OCD.

OCD treatment

According to Shane FitzGerald, of the London OCD Clinic, the best treatment for OCD is a combination of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and medication.

He told Metro.co.uk: ‘Although people with mild to moderate OCD can often get great results with CBT alone, people with very severe OCD might struggle to get the maximum benefits without also utilising medication.

‘It is also important to note that not all therapies are equal in treating OCD, with CBT being seen as the gold standard psychological therapy for this complex problem. Research shows that.other forms of therapy are unlikely to be of significant benefit’.

Essentially, your treatment will be determined by your health professionals (and will be worked out for you based on your specific symptoms) but it will more often than not have a two-pronged approach.

For many, the hardest part of receiving treatment is seeing it, with Shane saying, ‘Quite often clients admit to having never told anyone else the real details of their OCD, making it a particularly lonely and isolating condition’.

Going to an experienced therapist (starting with your GP if you need guidance or a diagnosis) will help you reduce this feeling of loneliness and manage your symptoms.

Support for mental health illustration
Reaching out can help (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

OCD techniques to use at home

Although Shane recommends seeking professional help first and foremost, he does assert that there are a few things you can do at home to help OCD.

Challenge avoidance

Although Shane states that this might be particularly difficult without an expert, he says you can make a start by doing this: ‘Make a list of activities that you might find challenging. Give these activities a mark out of 10 for difficulty, and then move up through the list trying to gently push yourself as much as you can…

‘With intrusive thought OCD the tasks might involve listening to certain challenging messages on a loop tape or writing down certain things that make us feel uncomfortable. This process is called Exposure and Response Prevention, the most important treatment comment for any type of OCD’.

Practice mindfulness

Meditation at a similar time each day can be a good thing to do to help, but it’s important not to use this as an avoidance tactic.

Be careful with substances

Shane says, ‘Recreational drugs and binge drinking are usually a bad combination with OCD or any anxiety disorder as the hangovers will usually provide a significant spike in symptoms for a couple of days. Drinking excessive amount of caffeine such as multiple coffees can also exaggerate symptoms in some people’.

Exercise

As with many mental health problems, taking regular exercise can alleviate symptoms.

Need support? Contact the Samaritans

For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.

Mental Health questions answered

Google's most-asked mental health questions in 2019 so far:

According to Google, the most frequently asked 'how to' questions relating to mental health this year so far are:

1. How to relieve stress
2. How to help anxiety
3. How to stop worrying
4. How to stop a panic attack
5. How to deal with stress
6. How to cope with depression
7. How to know if you have anxiety
8. How to know if you have depression
9. How to help someone with PTSD
10. How to overcome social anxiety
11. How to get help for depression
12. How to treat OCD
13. How to help a depressed friend
14. How to overcome a phobia
15. How to treat PTSD

MORE: Single people believe mental health issues ‘makes it harder to find a relationship’

MORE: Long-term illness and mental health problems are intertwined – why are they treated separately?


Mum says she watched her 13-year-old daughter ‘disappear’ due to anorexia

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Aliya Riaz, 13 with her mum Rebecca Armstrong, 34
Mum Rebecca said she isn’t happy with the care provided for her 13-year-old anorexic daughter Aliya (Picture: SWNS)

Rebecca Armstrong, mum to 13-year-old Aliya Riaz, has spoken about her daughter’s struggle with anorexia and how painful it was to see the youngster ‘disappear’.

The 34-year-old, from West Yorkshire, was heartbroken as she had to watch the teen loose more than a quarter of her body weight.

Aliya would spend hours every day doing sit-ups in a bid to lose weight because she thought her friends would like her more if she was skinny.

As Aliya became dangerously thin during secondary school, Rebecca took her to hospital.

The teen stayed there for two months but was readmitted once again after release when she refused to eat and saw her weight plummet again.

But Rebecca believes the care given to her daughter wasn’t tailored to her needs at the time.

Although the treatment was targeted towards children with eating disorders, Rebecca had some concerns about the way care was dealt.

Aliya Riaz before anorexia
Aliya used to be bullied at school before she developed the condition (Picture: Rebecca Armstrong / SWNS)

‘They gave this children’s leaflet that showed a boy who’s thin at the beginning and then has a big round belly at the end,’ said Rebecca.

‘The message that sent to Aliya was “if you’re hungry and you eat you’re going to end up with a belly like this”.

‘It impacted her straight away, she looked at it and said “no, no I’m not eating”.

‘This was given to her by someone dealing with anorexic people every day who should have a complete understanding of the condition.

‘That’s why I want to spread the message about the disorder so that people have a better understanding of how to approach it.’

Aliya in hospital where she spent five months in total
The teen spent five months in hospital (Picture: Rebecca Armstrong / SWNS)

Aliya is now recovering from the condition, but is determined to lead the fight for more care to focus on how to treat the mental health issues associated with eating disorders.

She is still at a low weight a result of an illness she contracted last month, but she is working to change her mentality.

Aliya Riaz, 13 with her mum Rebecca Armstrong, 34.
Aliya is on the road to recovery but mum Rebecca wants better care for other youngsters with anorexia (Picture: Dan Rowlands / SWNS)

‘I thought people would only like me if I was skinny,’ said Aliya. ‘Even when I was really skinny I still thought I was fat, I became obsessive about becoming smaller and smaller.

‘I’m a lot stronger mentally now and I know that you don’t have to be skinny to be beautiful.’

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Fashion Nova romper mocked for looking like ‘Lara Croft entering the Matrix’

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The Fashion Nova jumpsuit
This jumpsuit is very Lara Croft (Picture: Fashion Nova)

Fashion Nova has been mocked on Instagram after they shared a photo of a new outfit – the Buckle Up Mock Neck Romper, in black.

The romper is very revealing, with a cut-out chest, sternum and thighs, with a buckle belt around the waist.

Fashion Nova shared it to Instagram, and though it received more than 110,000 comments, there were also lots of people mocking it – with one person saying it reminded them of Lara Croft entering the matrix for a halloween party.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxbmfexAcdL/

Another person said: ‘Don’t do this to yourself and go out in public…’

Someone else commented: ‘People actually buy this??’

And another wrote: ‘Y’all are getting carried tf away now’.

According to the retailer, it’s available in both black and neon yellow.

It features a neck zipper, a buckle waist and long sleeves and is made using 95% polyester and 5% spandex.

This isn’t the first time Fashion Nova has been mocked online. In fact, it’s happened many, many times – simply because they’re always posting very ‘out there’ outfits.

Back in March, people were laughing at their barely-there jacket – which was part of the ‘In Disguise Lounge Set –  which is basically a pair of tracksuit bottoms and not even half a top.

People were mocking it because the jacket didn’t even cover the model’s boobs.

The outfit is available in sky blue and features a ‘bolero’ top and pants.

It has contrast piping, a front zipper, drawstring detail and an elastic waist, and costs £38.40.

Fashion Nova does have some lovely items available – but we’ve got to admit, they are getting a bit carried away now.

MORE: Channel your inner Christina Aguilera with Fashion Nova’s see-through chaps

MORE: Fashion Nova bikini label warns customers that the materials could cause cancer

During Ramadan, I suffered with my eating disorder in silence

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a woman lying down looking anxious
My relationship with food is always tested around occasions like Ramadan where food plays a pivotal role (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

During the holy month of Ramadan, Muslims are expected to fast from dawn until sunset for 30 days and 30 nights.

But what if you have an eating disorder (ED)? There are a host of health problems that make it unsafe for an individual to fast during Ramadan, including epilepsy and diabetes, but mental ill-health, and EDs especially, rarely get talked about.

Ramadan is mainly about self-reflection and meditation but it’s also heavily centred around food. And why wouldn’t it be? If you are fasting for over 12 hours then iftar (breaking the fast) plays heavily on everyone’s mind.

However, for someone who is currently suffering or has suffered from an ED, this can be a problematic time.

I struggled with an ED for three years during my late teens and early 20s. Mine reached its crux during the penultimate term of my final year of study at the University of Cambridge when I was hospitalised and forced to take some time out of my studies.

In the midst of my illness, I saw Ramadan as a blessing as I could abstain from eating and not rouse suspicion.

Thankfully, I am pretty much recovered now but my relationship with food is always tested around occasions like Ramadan where food plays a pivotal role.

Dahaba Ali Hussen struggled with her eating disorder during Ramadan
I used to feel intense guilt that I associated Ramadan with my ED (Photo: Dahaba Ali Hussen)

Before anything else, the feeling of sustained hunger transports me back to a time when that was my norm. This is dangerous for anyone who suffered from an ED as it can lead them into relapsing.

Personally, I deal with this by choosing not to fast, and putting my recovery first.

I struggle to feel connected to my religion when my experience becomes less about internal reflection and more about the mind-game of seeing how long I can resist food.

I used to feel intense guilt that I associated Ramadan with my ED as it’s a holy month designed to engender inner peace. Overcoming that has involved accepting that my illness is not my fault.

EDs are not widely recognised within the Somali Muslim community and I don’t doubt that a lot of people suffer in silence during Ramadan.

In my own community, there is a prevalent idea that EDs are a western construct and something that only young, white women suffer from. Of course, this is not the case and anyone from any demographic can be affected.

When I became unwell, I distinctly remember family members would not address my ED by its name. I was simply ‘sick’ and they prayed for me to return to full-health soon.

I used to feel intense guilt that I associated Ramadan with my ED as it’s a holy month designed to engender inner peace.

The fear stems from a lack of understanding. In Islam, you are not required to fast if you suffer from any health issues but it’s not common knowledge that EDs do, indeed, fall under the umbrella term of ‘health issues’.

I know from personal experience that there is also a feeling of ‘missing out’ when you are a Muslim and unable to fast due to mitigating circumstances but this is not the case.

I never questioned my faith but often felt I wasn’t performing my Islamic duties to the best of my ability.

Not fasting doesn’t make you any less of a Muslim. You can still take part in all of the other activities associated with Ramadan such as attending prayer at your local Mosque, volunteering at iftar sessions, giving zakat (charity) and of course, still looking inwards for inner reflection and prayer.

Now that I am in recovery, I would tell my younger self not to suffer in silence. I didn’t speak out because I was ashamed; I felt as though it made me weak and didn’t even admit my actions to myself.

In the end, because I didn’t have the support I so desperately needed, I thought I was beyond help.

But just because something was previously alien to my loved ones doesn’t mean that it always has to be. I can educate them on how to treat me and in the meantime, I can also educate myself on how to recover.

It would help to have literature in local mosques explaining the dangers of EDs and talks held in community centres that directly target Muslim communities. But starting open and honest dialogues is the first step and this can happen through conversations with ED survivors.

We must do this is in service of future generations. EDs are incredibly dangerous and if left untreated can result in very serious complications.

Young people are particularly vulnerable and no one should be lost to mental ill-health because of deep rooted stigma.

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Woman embraces mastectomy scars with stunning tattoo

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Wendy shows off her new chest tattoo
(Picture: Cancer Research UK)

A breast cancer survivor has had an epic tattoo inked across her mastectomy scars in a bid to embrace her new body.

Wendy Dresner, 54, from Leeds, went under the needle two years after her double mastectomy, after deciding it was time to celebrate her scars and transform her body into an incredible piece of art.

And it wasn’t just any old tattoo artist who was granted the honour of decorating her body, it was no less than David Beckham’s ‘angel’ tattooist, Louis Molloy.

Wendy and with husband Martin
Wendy and with husband Martin (Picture: Hani Dresner)

The tattoo has taken 24 hours to create so far and she’s already thinking about what she’ll have next.

She made sure to capture the transformation event in an incredible video – which you can watch below.

Wendy has been diagnosed with breast cancer twice in the past 10 years. Following a double mastectomy in 2017, she struggled with her body confidence, feeling uncomfortable in her clothes and less feminine.

But with the support of her husband and two children, she was able to rebuild her self-confidence. Speaking about her scars, Wendy said: ‘I don’t see these mastectomy scars as something to be ashamed of. I want to embrace them.’

The video shows Wendy getting a lizard across her chest, to accompany various flowers, swirls and geckos coming over her shoulder and back.

For Wendy, her tattoos are a symbol of strength and a celebration of overcoming breast cancer not once, but twice: ‘I wanted to reclaim my body and redefine my scars. At first, I hated looking at them, and tried to hide them away, but now I just want to show them off to anyone who’ll look!’

‘I have no regrets,’ says Wendy.

Wendy shows off her back tattoo
Wendy’s tattoo artist also inked up David Beckham (Picture: Cancer Research UK)

‘I absolutely love how my tattoos have turned out and what they’re evolving into as well. This is my way of celebrating and saying, “Look I’ve been through it, I’m out the other side, I survived it. Come on, bring it on, what’s next?!”’

Wendy found a lump in her breast in 2009. She went through a difficult few months of treatment, having a lumpectomy and then radiotherapy.

One of Wendy's lizard tattoos
The tattoo has taken 24 hours so far (Picture: Cancer Research UK)

Looking back, Wendy remembers her first diagnosis being very hard. Her children were young and it was tough on her husband, Martin, who had sadly lost his own mother to breast cancer in the late 1980s.

Wendy is taking part in her local Pretty Muddy event in Leeds this summer with her two children, Hani and Fred, to raise money for Cancer Research UK.

‘We’re so excited,’ explains Wendy.

‘I wanted to celebrate getting my tattoo done and this seemed like the perfect way to do that. It’s my first time taking part in a Pretty Muddy, so I’m looking forward to climbing the obstacles, getting muddy and fundraising all in support of a brilliant cause.’

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Watching porn ruined my sex drive and relationship – so I gave it up

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Cartoon man is caught out watching porn by his girlfriend
I was masturbating more than I was showering. I considered cleaning up my act after that conversation, but nothing compelled me to go through with it (Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro.co.uk)

Six months ago I made the sexiest decision of my life. I gave up porn.

Things had got bad. Every morning when I woke up I’d reach for my phone, open Google and type in the letter ‘p’.

PornHub would then drop down from my saved history.

My days were bookended with spaces of time saved for scrolling through sordid videos, skipping plotlines and switching categories, before settling on one to – ahem – finish to.

I thought it was normal.

I first realised that I might have a problem when I was in the pub with two friends one evening, and the topic of porn came up.

My male friend said he didn’t watch it and my female friend said she did, but only from time to time. I was surprised.

‘How often do you watch it?’ they asked. ‘Two to three times a day,’ I said. They stared at me in disbelief.

I was masturbating more than I was showering.

I considered cleaning up my act after that conversation, but nothing compelled me to go through with it.

After all, I was single and it’s not like it was hurting anyone was it?

Then I found myself in a new relationship.

She hated porn, and who could blame her.

Most porn videos are based around acts of depravity, sin and moral corruption. Their titles contain the language of power, control and violence. They usually read something like ‘Innocent teen brutally slammed’, ‘Cute blonde destroyed,’ or ‘Tiny brunette begs me to punish her’.

It’s a far cry from the consensual, close and often clumsy act that most of us know and enjoy.

There’s no way that putting the kind of content porn contains into your brain every day is good for you.

Put it this way, if real sex lives were like porn everyone would be sleeping with their sister, brutally punishing women for God knows what, and using sex to exact revenge.

Not to mention black cab drivers would be a lot happier (that’s a Fake Taxi reference for all the porn fans out there.)

A couple lie in bed not looking at each other or communicating
My girlfriend’s hatred of porn prompted me to make the change I’d been denying myself. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

But porn isn’t like real life. We know that it’s not, but it can be easy to forget when we expose ourselves to it daily.

Even if you wanted to have sex like a porn star, you couldn’t.

You wouldn’t be able to afford the lighting for starters, let alone maintain the perfect angles to view each other from.

It does no good for people’s body image and how they think they should look in bed.

In July this year, new porn legislation will block access to adult sites unless the person can prove they are aged 18 or over.

As someone with a 15-year-old brother, I’m happy about this legislation.

If I were a young person today, watching porn would tell me that sex was one long, loud, semi-violent act of athleticism done to women.

That’s not what I want my brother to think.

Porn sites are a place where people already versed in sex – the sweaty, smelly, sticky kind – can go to be titillated by larger-than-life acts of fantasy every once in a while.

It’s not a place for young people to develop their notions of consent and sexual practice.

‘Adults only’ should mean just that.

My girlfriend’s hatred of porn prompted me to make the change I’d been denying myself.

I downloaded an adult site blocker for my phone – the kind parents use to control what their kids can access – and my girlfriend created a password I’d never guess.

It was my first step to X-rated recovery.

Two weeks in, I failed. I’d forgotten to put a block on my laptop. Damn.

But I didn’t admit defeat.

If you’re trying to lose weight and in a moment of weakness you scoff a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, you don’t quit do you?

You count it as a blip and continue with the plan. So on I went with my debauchery diet.

And slowly, the cravings stopped.

The changes have been subtle but important. I feel more productive, and my sex drive is up.

There’s more comfort and intimacy in my relationship now.

The sex between myself and my girlfriend is real and unrivalled, it exists between the two of us and not a third party search engine.

Do I miss it? No, though I can still see its allure. I just know I’m better without it.

Anyone who meditates regularly will tell you that as you become more present, you realise how out-of-the-moment you used to be.

I believe the same is true of quitting porn. You think it’s barely affecting you until you give it up.

My behaviour may not have been normal, but it may well be common.

So if you think you might be watching too much of it, try giving it up for a while.

And those closest to you will feel the difference too. Make yourself accountable to someone and have a go.

You’ll be surprised at how good you feel.

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Clothing brand slammed for making separate Instagram page for plus-size and minority women

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Clothing brand slammed for creating separate 'inclusive' Instagram
Caption: Clothing brand slammed for creating separate \’inclusive\’ Instagram page for plus-size and minority women
Provider: Instagram

A British online fashion brand has apologised after creating a separate social media account for plus-size and ethnic minority women.

Galsgow-based Oh Polly created the account ‘Oh Polly Inclusive’, which featured plus-sized customers and influencers as well as women from a range of different ethnic backgrounds.

The brand has since deactivated the account and apologised after customers voiced their disapproval.

YouTuber Alissa Ashley called it ‘segregation’.

Clothing brand slammed for creating separate 'inclusive' Instagram page for plus-size and minority women
The ‘inclusive’ page featured plus-sized and ethnic minority women (Picture: Instagram)

‘What makes these women not suitable for your main page @ohpolly? Ohpollyinclusive?? Who approved this?’ she wrote on Twitter.

‘Like imagine calling yourselves inclusive and not wanting to post women that don’t fit your ‘aesthetic’ on your brand page lmao,’ she added.

‘If you wanted to be ‘inclusive’ wouldn’t you put these beautiful women on your main page? Just a question,’ said another critic.

Clothing brand slammed for creating separate 'inclusive' Instagram page for plus-size and minority women
Oh Polly’s main Instagram page features mostly slim, white women (Picture: Instagram)

‘This is soo bizarre!! @ohpolly @ohpollyhelp you could have just done without the page?,’ added someone else.

‘If you truly wanted to be inclusive you would feature them on your main page?? It’s disgusting. People are so focused on appearing to be inclusive that they miss the point,’ they continued.

And they weren’t the only one to point out the brand’s seemingly confused messaging. Another person took issue with a slogan used on the ‘inclusive’ page which read: ‘Zero % Tolerance, 100% inclusive.’

‘The phrase “zero percent tolerance” literally means “we are not tolerant” which seems like the opposite of being inclusive?? What were they even trying to say?? I’m very confused???? Lmao’.

In a statement to the BBC, a spokesperson for Oh Polly said: ‘We established a new page with the specific aim of allowing our customers to discuss a wider range of issues.

‘Improving diversity remains an absolute priority for us across all of our channels.

‘We promise to continue listening to everyone in the Oh Polly community and, most importantly, learn from this mistake.’

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Parents save doctor’s dog’s life to thank him for saving their baby’s life

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Mattia with Budu
The doctors saved Mattia’s life (Picture: Heidi Ferasin / SWNS)

The vet parents of a baby saved by a heart operation have returned the favour by curing the doctor’s pet dog who was suffering from the same condition.

Mattia Ferasin, now four, was born with a hole in his heart and underwent a seven-hour operation to save his life.

One of the cardiac surgeons on the team – Dr Caner Salih – revealed his French bulldog Büdu coincidentally had the same heart problem.

And when Mattia’s parents Luca and Heidi – both veterinary cardiologists – found out, they offered to treat the pup and nurse him back to health.

Now Büdu and Mattia have both made a full recovery, and are the best of friends.

Heidi, 38, from Four Marks, Hampshire, said: ‘We are forever indebted to the whole team of doctors who helped Mattia.

‘Without their skill and knowledge of all the staff we are well aware that we wouldn’t have Mattia with us now.

Mattia at Evelina London, May 2016.
Mattia at Evelina London, May 2016. (Picture: Heidi Ferasin / SWNS)

‘This is our way of giving something back because no words can ever express the gratitude that we feel.

‘We have always felt that we owe all the staff so much.

‘We are very aware that without their skill, passion and compassion, Mattia may not be here today.

‘Thanks to the surgery and the ongoing care of the cardiology team, Mattia is a thriving, healthy and happy little boy who just celebrated his fourth birthday.’

Dr Salih, 58, added: ‘Büdu has now made a full recovery. He’s not the brightest dog in the world but he’s family.’

Mattia was born at St Thomas Hospital in London with a hole in his heart and a narrow aorta that was limiting the blood supply to the lower half of his body.

The conditions – a ventricular septal defect and coarctation of the aorta – were picked up 20 weeks into Heidi’s pregnancy.

Mattia loves Budu
Mattia with his best friend Budu (Picture: Heidi Ferasin / SWNS)

Mattia was operated on at the adjoining Evelina London Children’s Hospital when he was six days old, in March 2015.

Mum-of-two Heidi, who also has a son Dante, seven, said: ‘When we found out about the heart condition it was really frightening to hear.

‘We struggled with the unknown and the uncertainty of it. We knew that when he was born he would have to undergo risky surgery.

‘We had no idea what his quality of life would be like afterwards.’

Doctors had warned his parents there was a 10% chance of Mattia not surviving the risky open heart surgery.

The seven-and-a-half hour operation was led by Dr David Anderson and was a success – and Mattia went on to make a full recovery.

Mattia spent five days in intensive care but remarkably, was allowed to go home for the first time six days after surgery.

Heidi said: ‘It was horrible to see him like that in intensive care.

‘We sat by his side and there was nothing we could do. The surgery took longer than we thought it would so we got really worried.

‘When we first saw him, after the operation, it was a traumatic sight. There were lots of tubes and cables and he looked very swollen.

Dr Caner and Budu with Luca and Mattia.
Dr Caner and Budu with Luca and Mattia (Picture: Heidi Ferasin / SWNS)

‘I broke down in tears because he had survived the surgery. He came through it and that was a massive relief.

‘Now he is a happy, healthy, thriving ray of sunshine.

‘Life is happy and we have two happy little boys.’

While medics were treating Mattia, Heidi and Luca became friendly with the medical team.

After the op, one of the cardiac surgeons, Dr Caner Salih, told them he had a bulldog who was suffering from a heart murmur.

So out of the goodness of their hearts, Luca and Heidi invited Büdu and Dr Salih to the surgery, Lumbry Park Veterinary Specialists, to try to find out what was wrong.

Incredibly, Luca discovered Büdu was in fact suffering with one of the same heart defect as Mattia.

Unlike Mattia, Büdu didn’t require surgery and so Luca provided Dr Salih with a number of management options for how to care for his dog at home and regular check-ups.

And when the pair returned a year later, Luca was shocked to find Büdu’s hole in his heart closed without surgery.

Luca, 54, said: ‘When the image of the defect appeared on the screen of my ultrasound machine during Büdu’s examination, I was so surprised because it was one of the same congenital defects that Mattia had.

‘Büdu’s defect closed within a year, which was even more surprising.

‘This outcome has only been reported in a couple of cases in veterinary history.’

Mattia and Büdu are now friends for life and have frequently met up for play dates.

Heidi and Luca took part in a 160ft abseil to raise money for Evelina London Children’s Hospital earlier this month.

Mattia, his seven-year-old brother Dante and grandmother Geraldine Cooper cheered the fundraisers on from below.

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People are outraged after Gucci sells ‘trendy turban’ for $800

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Gucci store next to blue turban
People are annoyed (Picture: Getty, Nordstrom/Gucci)

Gucci seem to be making a lifetime of poor decisions.

Selling culturally insensitive clothing has been a trend for the fashion brand this year, and their latest faux-pas has concerned members of the Sikh faith.

Online fashion website Nordstrom uploaded the blue ‘Indy Full Head Wrap’ priced at almost $800 (£625) causing more criticism to be directed to the brand.

A model on the runway wearing the 'turban'
Gucci got called out for ‘blackface’ earlier this year (Picture: Getty Images)

The Italian brand has been caught out more than once this year for what has been called cultural appropriation and racial insensitivity of products it has produced.

In February, Gucci was made to pull a jumper that had alluded to blackface, a form of theatrical make-up used predominantly by non-black performers to represent a caricature of a black person, as it was pitch black with the ominous red lips associated with the act.

They were selling the jumper for $900 (£703) but it was taken down amid backlash.

The Gucci 'turban' costs almost $800
Nordstrom have since apologised (Picture: Nordstrom)

Nordstrom’s website described the item as ‘a gorgeously crafted turban’ that will ‘turn heads while keeping you in comfort as well as trademark style.’

The recent events have enraged the Sikh community as the sold out  ‘Head Wrap’ which they saw as a direct insult to their culture.

One Twitter user, Aasees Kaur, wrote: ‘This is beyond aggravating. Did someone at @gucci even bother to figure out what a dastaar (turban) means to Sikhs? Did it cross your minds to consider the history behind our identity? My people are discriminated against, even killed, for wearing a turban.’

She added: ‘Who made the decision to capitalize on something so significant to Sikhs? And your team went as far as telling people how to accessorize for a “night on the town”. You don’t use a turban to add “pop of blue” in your outfit.’

The Sikh Coalition told INSIDER magazine in a statement that Nordstrom has since ‘offered their sincere apologies’ and will no longer sell the turban, and they ‘hope that Gucci will follow suit.’

According to the 2011 census, there were 432,000 Sikhs in the UK, or 0.7% of the population, and is the world’s fifth largest religion in the world.

The survey found that more than two-thirds of Sikhs were born in Britain and nine out of 10 describe their nationality as British. The overwhelming majority reject being described as Indian or Asian.

Gucci have been approached for comment.

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15-year-old girl watches sister give birth and her reaction is priceless

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When Maya made the decision to attend the birth of her sister’s baby, she probably wasn’t fully prepared for what she would witness.

Someone filmed the 15-year-old as she watched her niece enter the world, and Maya’s reactions are, well, pretty hilarious.

In the span of 22 seconds, the teen goes from shock to awe to disbelief and then finally joy, and at one point can be seen clutching her knees and holding her hands around her face with an expression that seems to say ‘is this really happening right now?!’.

Her sister, Michelle from Aurora, Missouri, gave birth on Wednesday last week (8 May) and Maya was there for the whole thing. Let’s review the various expressions.

Teenage girl standing in delivery room, watching her sister give birth. Her expression is one of shock, holding both her hands to her face and staring at the scene that is unfolding in front of her
First, there’s shock (Picture: ViralHog)
Girl watches sister give birth Maya, from Aurora, Missouri Provider: ViralHog Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73Oz0kP973w
Then, what seems to be a pained expression (Picture: ViralHog)

The nurses told Maya to stand by the edge of the bed so she could see the whole process.

Understandably, she starts off with a shocked expression (the baby’s head is likely crowning at this point), before settling into a crouched position and a pained face as her sister can be heard breathing heavily and moaning in the background.

The sisters’ mother, LaDonna, was also present in the room.

As if watching the birth wasn’t enough for the teenager, she’s also struck by amniotic fluid at one point, which leads her to jump up and she can be heard saying ‘ew’ in the video.

Girl watches sister give birth Maya, from Aurora, Missouri Provider: ViralHog Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73Oz0kP973w
Followed by disbelief (Picture: ViralHog)
Girl watches sister give birth Maya, from Aurora, Missouri Provider: ViralHog Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73Oz0kP973w
And finally, joy(Picture: ViralHog)

At the end of the clip, Maya has a delighted expression of unadulterated joy as her baby niece has well and truly arrived.

A truly mesmerising experience, and one that all involved will remember forever.

But we’re not sure Maya will choose to be there for the next birth, though it would make for an amazing sequel.

Here’s hoping someone has a camera handy then too.

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How do you know if you have depression?

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Animation of woman sleepy by her bedside
Depression isn’t just about having a few bad days (Picture: Ella Byworth for metro.co.uk)

Everyone has low periods. But unexplained feelings of unhappiness or constant low moods may be a sign of depression.

Though the conversation around depression is happening more often now, it’s still seen as a trivial matter to some, though it can affect individual lives for weeks, months and years.

Stephen Buckley, from mental health charity Mind, defines depression as, ‘feeling low for a couple of weeks or more without much change in mood, or such feelings returning over and over again.’

He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Depression affects everyone differently, but common symptoms include feeling restless, numb and disconnected, irritable, seeing no point in the future, and gaining no pleasure from things you might have previously enjoyed.

‘Severe depression can be debilitating and even life-threatening, as it may cause suicidal thoughts.’

This Mental Health Awareness Week, we’re answering some of the top mental health questions asked on Google.

One of the things we’re looking at today is depression, which can affect one in six people.

ATING DISORDER WEEK: watching my daughter battle anorexia
Talking to loved ones or a therapist is advised (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Physical symptoms include feeling constantly tired, sleeping badly, having no appetite or sex drive, and various aches and pains.

You might also feel guilty, unmotivated, anxious, unable to make decisions or, in severe cases, have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself.

The symptoms of depression range from mild to severe.

Some of the physical manifestations of the condition can look like moving or speaking more slowly than usual, changes in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased), constipation, and changes to your periods.

There is a social cost of depression too. This can include not focusing at work, avoiding family and friends, neglecting hobbies and interests.

But there are ways to manage depression and treatments are available, which usually involves a combination of self-help, talking therapies and medicines.

The treatment that will be recommended will be based on the type of depression you have.

Doctors might recommend exercise, self-help (i.e meditating, reading) or antidepressants.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – a talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by changing the way you think and behave –  is also available on the NHS.

There are also things you can do day-to-day to manage depression.

Psychotherapist Amanda Perl tells Metro.co.uk how you can practice mindfulness: ‘Find and create the habit of praising your positive qualities.

‘Spend some time reflecting upon what brings you joy. Try out something new and challenging regularly.

‘Take gentle exercise every day and make sure you have enough hours of rest and sleep every day.

She adds: ‘Learn to be honest and do more than just say “no”.  Talk about your true thoughts and feelings and stop pretending to feel ok when you fall into the black hole of depression.’

Amanda adds that you should seek psychotherapy to deal with past trauma and current issues.

‘Continue to reflect on what makes you happy or sad, what you want that you don’t have now, what is your true passion and ultimately what is your purpose?’

Speaking to your GP might seem daunting but it’s the first step to getting the help and support that’s right for you. Mind has produced a guide on how to speak to your GP about mental health which you can access here.

Mental Health questions answered

Google's most-asked mental health questions in 2019 so far:

According to Google, the most frequently asked 'how to' questions relating to mental health this year so far are:

1. How to relieve stress
2. How to help anxiety
3. How to stop worrying
4. How to stop a panic attack
5. How to deal with stress
6. How to cope with depression
7. How to know if you have anxiety
8. How to know if you have depression
9. How to help someone with PTSD
10. How to overcome social anxiety
11. How to get help for depression
12. How to treat OCD
13. How to help a depressed friend
14. How to overcome a phobia
15. How to treat PTSD

MORE: How to deal with stress: Tips on how to cope with everyday tensions

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MORE: How to be a good friend to someone who has bipolar disorder

Gardening has a ‘better impact’ on mental health than hitting the gym

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A compilation of a woman on a cycling machine and a tomato plant (to represent gardening) on a green and purple background
Brits said gardening has a ‘better impact’ compared to running 1km (Picture: Getty)

Plants are having a moment.

Millennials especially have embraced the greenery trend with open arms, and it’s no wonder – the activity is proven to be very therapeutic.

In fact, a new survey has revealed that 81% of British people believe gardening has a ‘better impact’ on mental health than hitting the gym, according to AO.com.

Out of 2,000 participants, more than a third also claimed that creating the perfect garden provides a ‘bigger sense of achievement’ compared to running 1km (8%), tidying their home (22%) and doing well at work (13%).

However, while 75% agreed that gardening helps improve well-being, three in 10 do so less than once a month.

‘Gardening is a brilliant de-stressor,’ said psychologist, psychotherapist and author, Corinne Sweet.

‘Hacking down shrubs, mowing the lawn, digging in bulbs, even just weeding and planting, can lower blood-pressure and create a healthy mindful state.

‘When we garden we get fresh air, exercise and light. The latter is important to aid the body’s production of Vitamin D and Serotonin. These elements can help fend off depression and low moods.

‘If you don’t have a garden, even doing window boxes and pots can help, as getting your hands dirty is a good way to get grounded and more relaxed. It puts us back in touch with our primaeval [sic] selves and helps iron out modern-day stresses.’

A woman is picking strawberries from her garden, as a man is gardening in the background
Experts agree, gardening can improve mental health (Picture: Getty)

‘I love my garden,’ 33-year-old Jo Jessop, an avid gardener, tells Metro.co.uk.

‘It helps me when I’m stressed and suffering with anxiety. It’s also my safe space where I can breath, I also sometimes sit and work in my garden as well as relax, and it’s fab place to meditate and do my breathing exercises.’

Unfortunately not everyone can afford a garden, especially in bigger cities such as London, but there are other ways to add a touch of green to your life.

Adding a few plants to your home or work space has also been shown to be beneficial for mental health.

And if you really want to get into gardening but haven’t got your own to play around with, there are local community groups that you can join.

Tend to your green babies and feel the stress dissipate.

Plus, you might end up with lots of tasty fruits and vegetables.

MORE: Single people believe mental health issues ‘makes it harder to find a relationship’

MORE: How to stop a panic attack: tips on how to keep yourself calm

MORE: How to know if you have anxiety: the signs and symptoms of an anxiety disorder

Parkland shooting survivors make therapy dogs a year book to say thank you

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Parkland shooting survivors make therapy dogs a year book
(Picture: Aerie Yearbook)

Students in Parkland, Florida have been coping with the aftermath of an horrific mass shooting with the help of therapy dogs.

Now the kids have created an adorable year book to say thank you to the 14 dogs that were assigned to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School.

And the pictures are just too cute for words.

The dogs dressed in their best for the occasion, with one even sporting a dapper bow tie. Gotta look good on picture day.

Parkland shooting survivors make therapy dogs a year book
(Picture: Aerie Yearbook)

The dogs showcased in the book included Gail Policella, Sophie Levy, Annie Sultenfuss, River Haneski and Grace Goodwill, also known as ‘therapydogprincess’ and Schooner Davis.

The Aerie Yearbook tweeted out pics of the book and people on Twitter were, understandably, delighted.

‘This is so awesome! The ultimate honor for any therapy dog is knowing he/she made a positive difference in another’s life. So happy to see these wonderful #TherapyDogs being honored this way!! #PawFive,’ wrote one.

‘Omg this is so beautiful. We just don’t deserve dogs,’ said someone else.

‘Dogs are so amazing,’ added another.

Parkland shooting survivors make therapy dogs a year book
(Picture: Aerie Yearbook)

And aside from recognising the therapy dogs’ amazing achievements, some were also keen to hype up the pups for absolutely slaying their photo shoot.

‘Gail snapped! We love our long legged queen,’ wrote one woman.

Canine photo day took place last October, and the dogs were apparently instructed to place their paws on an image of human footprints.

The therapy dogs were brought to the Florida high school to help the children cope with trauma after a gunman shot and killed 17 people on campus last year.

The first official therapy dog at the school was a Bernese mountain mix named River.

The suspected shooter, who is a former student at the school, confessed to the attack on video and could now face the death penalty.

MORE: Gardening has a ‘better impact’ on mental health than hitting the gym

MORE: How do you know if you have depression?

MORE: 15-year-old girl watches sister give birth and her reaction is priceless

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