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I wear a wedding ring to avoid being sexually harassed, not because I’m married

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ILLO REQUEST I wear a wedding ring to avoid being sexually harassed, not because I???m married Metro Illustrations Ella Byworth/ Metro.co.uk
We have to be ‘marked’ to earn the same type of respect a man gets straight out of the gate (Picture: Ella Byworth/ Metro.co.uk)

I remember the first day I wore my engagement ring.

Except I hadn’t got engaged over the weekend, like I told my colleagues – the whole thing was a lie. After months of being subjected to sexual harassment at work, I had decided to start wearing an engagement ring in a last, desperate attempt to make one particular colleague, Dan*, leave me alone.

Dan was relentless. Every day brought rude comments, creepy innuendos and constant questions about my personal life.

After dealing with it silently for almost five months, I brought it to the attention of my manager who told me it would be ‘looked into’ but that it was probably a misunderstanding. Nothing was done and the harassment only got worse.

A few weeks later, while walking towards me, Dan pretended to trip. He grabbed my breasts to ‘break his fall’ and said: ‘They don’t just look great, they keep a man upright, in more ways than one,’ and pointed to his crotch.

As I sat in my manager’s office, telling my story and fighting tears, I thought about how much I needed this job. How multiple complaints had led to no meaningful action being taken place to fix the situation. I even considered whether I had done anything to encourage Dan’s behavior.

When a female colleague mentioned she thought Dan ignored her because she was married, I went out and bough a beautiful fake engagement ring.

It made me feel ridiculous. Pathetic. It was a pretty ring but I was sad knowing that this was what I was resorting to in order to stop a man’s advances.

We have to be ‘marked’ to earn the same type of respect a man gets straight out of the gate.

At work the next day, I anxiously awaited the moment Dan would come over to my cubicle, as he did daily. ‘How was your weekend? Did you spend it thinking of me?’ he asked.

I somehow managed to spit out the lie: ‘Actually, I got engaged.’ I wiggled my finger with the fake ring on it and he stared at it for a second before walking away without another word. He never spoke to me again.

In one way, it felt like a victory. To be able to just do my job in peace was all I wanted.

Mostly, though, it felt stupid. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that this was what it took to get a man to leave me alone. Why were my words not enough, but a £50 knock-off ring was? Of course it’s not fair.

I left that company six months later when I was offered a position elsewhere. I decided to start the lie from the beginning. I walked into the first day of my new job wearing a plain wedding ring. It seemed simpler – people ask less questions than when you wear an engagement ring.

I can’t claim it was entirely down to the ring but I wasn’t harassed once in the four years I worked there. There was a distinct difference in how I was treated when men thought I was married.

They spoke to me like a peer instead of trying to be flirty or showing off. I was included in discussions and felt like my opinions were valued. When I’m not wearing that ring, it’s more about how they can impress me.

Even the other women treated me better when they thought I ‘belonged to’ a man. I was no longer a threat.

I’ve now worn a wedding ring for so long that I don’t even really think about it or notice it on my finger. I don’t wear it to the gym before work, and I remove it at weekends, but otherwise it’s always there.

I’ve faced sexual harassment in high school, college, just walking down the street and on public transport. I just don’t want to deal with it again. I want to be valued for my work.

Maybe it has stopped me from meeting a nice guy – there’s every chance a man might have approached me respectfully but didn’t because he saw the ring.

Lying is another downside. I would like to make friends at work that I don’t have to start off by lying to.

I’ve also struggled with the feeling that my worth is tied to a man instead of me. When my mother tells people she has two children, they ask what my brother does for a living and if I’m married – never the reverse.

Women are rarely asked if they are successful; instead success for women is in being married and having children. Being a wife and a mother are wonderful, noble things, but they’re not all that a woman can be and no one ties a man’s worth to a woman in the same way.

I don’t know why some men feel like they can only respect women who are with other men. I can only guess it’s something to do with the thrill of the chase, or machismo.

I’ve become better at identifying those types of men and steering clear, but it’s unfortunate that women even have to do that, that we have to be ‘marked’ to earn the same type of respect a man is afforded straight out of the gate.

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The Tamagotchi virtual pet is back for 2019

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The 2019 tamagotchi on a colourful background
Do you remember the Tamagotchi? (Picture: Getty, TheToyShop)

Children of the nineties – we have some good news.

The Tamagotchi is back.

Yes, that’s right, you can have a little virtual pet in your pocket once again – perfect for the millennial flat share where there’s no room for an actual cuddly cat or dog.

Oh the nostalgia of desperately trying to keep those tiny pixels alive.

23 years on from the launch of Japanese company Bandai’s original invention, a new range for 2019 has been released.

The brand released a 20th anniversary edition in 2017 but the new range for this year is widely available in the UK.

Children hold the 20th anniversary tamagotchi
The 20th anniversary edition (Picture: Getty Images Europe)

And as technology has come pretty far since the 90s, life had improved for the digital pets, who can now go on playdates and get married. And you can see them in colour.

Of course, if you are wanting to relive your childhood, you are probably now a fully-grown adult with a job and responsibilities so you can send your pet to a hotel where they’ll keep it alive for you.

It still comes in the egg shape, with tiny buttons and a key chain – though you’re much more likely to have keys to attach it to these days.

The 2019 range comes in a range of colours and varies in price depending on the design.

You can pick up an original translucent blue one for £18.88, the lowest price, but the highest price one in the range is the tiger print, which costs £35.

The 20th anniversary range is also available from The Entertainer Toyshop for £10.

Now, go out and welcome the new addition to your family.

MORE: This couple had a magical Harry Potter themed wedding

MORE: Are we moving towards a society where everyone is polyamorous or in open relationships?

MenTal(k) Health: ‘We need to invest in our health in the same way we invest in our finances’

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We need to encourage men to talk about their health, as it’s something so many of them avoid.

MenTal(k) Health is a space where men speak to Metro.co.uk about elements of health we don’t always hear them discussing.

From fitness to emotional and mental health, MenTal(k) Health is the place to unpack it.

Nutritionist and author of Man Food: The no-nonsense guide to improving your health and energy in your 40s and beyond, Ian Marber says the challenge for men and their health is an antiquated sense of masculinity and how that relates to self-care.

Self-care has changed in meaning over the past few years, but Ian thinks that among men there’s a dissociation with body and health.

He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘My own father, who’s 82, read Man Food as if it was a brochure for an instruction manual for something he doesn’t actually own.

‘I do think there’s a certain machoism left over when it comes to men’s health and well-being – especially with older men.

‘There’s that whole, “Oh that? It is all fuss and nonsense, I don’t need to worry myself with that.”

‘Is self-care effeminate? I don’t think so at all, and men need to stop thinking it is. We all benefit from it.’

Author Ian Marber
Ian Marber says: ‘We need to value our health more.’ (Picture: ianmarber.com)

According to Ian, men avoid seeing a doctor for a myriad of reasons – from a fear of not wanting to feel weak, to just general disinterest in health.

Across the UK, prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men with 1 in 8 men getting the cancer in their lifetime and more than 11,000 men dying from it each year.

When you consider that prostate cancer is the third biggest cancer in the UK, ahead of breast cancer, partly because men are less concerned.

He says: ‘Prostate cancer is the third biggest cancer in the UK, ahead of breast cancer, partly because men are less concerned – we don’t go to the doctor as often, we are less likely to have preventative tests, or investigate trends as the effects of the delay manifest well after the event and is too late.’

Within wellness, a stereotypical view of what it means to be in charge of your health continues to manifest itself.

Muay Thai Boxing athletes warming up in an old gym
A lot of men think physical activity is the only answer (Caption: Tom Werner)

Ian thinks that the way we present information to men could have an impact on how they view health, specifically through the media.

He says: ‘What I see is the less objective concerns about health (i.e policy and laws) for men and women are being somehow “relegated” to the Lifestyle pages. They become written in a way that is sometimes quite astounding in that it patronises the reader.

‘If the political pages were written in the same way some health pages and magazines were written today, having to explain the most simplest of terms for the most common denominator, people wouldn’t have any faith in the reporting.

We need to take lifestyle more seriously if we are ever going to make a difference to the way men and women’s health is approached, and specifically for men.

‘It’s quite common for people who write nutrition and well-being books to be by people who have no background or no professional training in the field they claim to be knowledgeable on. It’s mostly anecdotal, and we would never see that in political, business or financial reporting.

‘We need to take lifestyle more seriously if we are ever going to make a difference to the way health, and specifically men’s health, is approached.’

Ian Marber's Man Food: Eat to Fight Disease and Boost Your Health in Your 40s and Beyond
The book that explains food and how men should consume it. (Photo: Ianmarber.co.uk)

Man Food, is an introduction to how nutrition affects mind and body, and even though it is labelled for people over 40 Ian suggests that it can guide men in their 30s, hopefully sparking more self interest around male nutritional self care.

It speaks about things such as metabolism, which is common cause for concern for the ageing man.

Ian says: ‘People believe it starts slowing down in their 30s but it really kicks in in mid-forties.

‘It depends what you do. If you don’t have a good diet and don’t exercise it could start slowing down a bit earlier. You have to balance these things out with sensible decisions.

‘If I had one piece of advice, I’d say don’t take your health for granted. The same way we monitor our finances with investments, understanding pensions etc, we need to invest in our health in exactly the same way.’

Midsection of man cutting vegetables. Cropped image of male is preparing food. He is working in kitchen.
Food is medicine (Photo: Morsa Images)

Lifestyle over the past few years has improved for a lot of people through increasing exercise and healthier eating habits.

He says: ‘Better nutrition and agricultural methods are valid in the way we understand well-being. Overall improvements in healthcare are fantastic, and it should be reported as such.’

For men, however, being ‘healthy’ commonly means taking part in physical activity. Some think several gym sessions, football games or jogs equate to superior health but is it enough for the overall outcome of men’s health?

The outer manifestation of good health is a good body, the way it looks and less about the inside

Ian says: ‘Nowadays, physical activity is conflated with health. The outer manifestation of good health is a good body, the way it looks and less about the inside. The representation of people speaking to men about fitness and hopefully about the importance of it tend to be personal trainers.

‘Nearly all men that I speak to about health get into the physicality side, with most saying that they play football twice a week or run every now and then.

‘So straight away it’s about physical activity, but if I ask a woman about health they generally talk about diets, other aspects of holistic health and include physical activity at the end of their list of priorities.’

Side view portrait of active man in his 50s drinking pink liquid fruit juice, head and shoulders, grey hair and beard, back from morning run, recovering, thirsty
Older men are now taking more care of their health. (Photo: Getty Images)

But Ian says older men are unable to relate to what he describes as the ‘Love Island Generation’ – and it can be quite alienating on to their own identities.

‘It’s quite alienating for older men and specifically their mental health, where men who all look the same are held up as the poster boys of health,’ he says.

‘I think that a lifetime of stress manifests itself in a whole manner of different ways including mental health issues.

‘And while I do think that older men still find it extremely difficult to talk about it, what is interesting is looking at my peers now and seeing that they are much more willing to talk about mental health issues now than they were 15 years ago.

‘From anti-depressant use, to seeing therapists fifteen years ago it just wasn’t talked about.

‘Speaking openly about it is an important step on the way to getting help.’

What is MenTal(k) Health?

MenTal(k) Health is a weekly series that speaks to men who have a lot to say on a range of health issues from mental and physical health to fitness, sexual health and emotional intelligence.

If you know someone who might be great to speak to, please email: alex.holmes@metro.co.uk or connect on twitter @AlexReads__.

Last week’s MenTal(k) Health was with Owen O’Kane: ‘This “man up” expression is so problematic’.

Next week, we speak to Nick Bennett from Fika about Emotional Fitness.

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Sick of cows milk? You can now try a camel milk cappuccino

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Camel milk cappuccinos are coming to Glasgow
Camel milk cappuccinos are coming (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

We now have a huge range of milk options beyond cow’s milk – oat, almond, even pea milk.

But there is something a little more adventurous on the menu at one Glasgow cafe.

The Willow Tea Rooms has added camel milk as an option.

The coffee shop has teamed up with charity Mercy Corps, with 10% of the profits going towards a scheme to help Kenyan camel milk traders.

It will offer drinks known as ‘camelccinos’ for £2.40 from Wednesday, in what could be a UK first.

STOCK IMAGE latte art: camel on desert
Get your snaps on (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Across Africa and the Middle East, camel milk is popular and is hailed by scientists as the closest alternative to human breast milk containing more iron and three times more vitamin C than cow’s milk.

STOCK IMAGE Camel calf coming for a drink while woman milks the dromedary cow near Shymkent Kazakhstan. (Photo by: Education Images/UIG via Getty Images)
Camel milk has more vitamin C properties than cows. (Picture:Education Images/UIG via Getty Images)

Edinburgh-based Mercy Corps launched the project to enable 141 female camel milk traders near Wajir, in north-east Kenya, to boost the shelf-life of their product.

The traders were given solar-powered milk coolers, refrigerated transport and vending machines to help preserve the milk in the average 40C (104F) heat – which previously led to a quarter of the produce spoiling.

The project is being funded by the UK government’s Department for International Development (DfID).

STOCK IMAGE making latte coffee
How cute (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Willow Tea Rooms owner Anne Mulhern said the novel drinks have proved popular in tests and will be on offer throughout June.

She told Glasgow Live: ‘We’ve road-tested it and our customers loved it. Camel milk cappuccinos could become a permanent feature on our menus.’

MORE: JustGiving scraps 5% fee charged to UK charities

MORE: Look What Brexit Made Me Do: I’m leaving my life in Kenya and moving back home

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It’s no wonder we feel alone when we don’t even know our neighbours’ names

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The Big Lunch
Over three quarters of people think it is better for communities if we know our neighbours and 62 per cent would say ‘yes’ if a neighbour invited them round for tea (Picture: Carmen Valino)

I’m a talker, everyone knows that.

I love chatting to my friends, family, colleagues… pretty much anyone who will listen. But when it comes to neighbourly nattering, it seems that I’m in the minority.

A recent survey revealed that 20 per cent of us don’t feel they could call on a neighbour if they needed help and 40 per cent don’t even know their neighbours’ names.

How shocking is that?

Now I’m not one to harp on about the ‘good old days’, but growing up I was always in and out of my neighbours’ houses.

I knew everyone on the street and my mum would regularly welcome in people from the neighbourhood for tea – or to try some new recipe she was experimenting with in the kitchen.

I’d come home from school to find a real mix of people in our front room. It was our little community and my mum loved being a part of it.

That’s why it saddens me that almost half of the population hasn’t spoken to their neighbours in the last month.

I couldn’t avoid talking to my neighbours for that long even if I was actively trying to avoid them. Or if they were trying to avoid me!

It’s just second nature to say hello or wave when I see someone I know near my home. I genuinely couldn’t imagine not knowing the people I lived next door to, and I definitely wouldn’t want to.

We need to put an end to nameless neighbourhoods. It’s not good for society and it’s certainly not good for the people in it.

At a time when the whole nation feels so divided and disconnected, we need to make sure community spirit doesn’t die out altogether.

The good news is that there is a strong appetite for getting to know our neighbours better.

Neighbourhoods thrive when people are proud and feel a sense of belonging to where they live.

Over three quarters of people think it is better for communities if we know our neighbours and 62 per cent would say ‘yes’ if a neighbour invited them round for tea.

Why wait to be invited? Why not be the one to knock on a neighbour’s door, or stop someone in the street for a chat?

Getting people together is one of the simplest ways to help stop loneliness and to make sure everyone around us is doing okay.

Recent statistics suggest there are more than 1.2million lonely older people in the UK, but loneliness isn’t ageist. Increasingly it’s younger people admitting to feeling alone.

I think technology plays a massive part in this. I couldn’t imagine telling a story as a kid and having to say ‘IRL’ to explain it happened ‘in the real world’. It’s crucial that the internet and social media don’t replace real life socialising altogether.

Neighbourhoods thrive when people are proud and feel a sense of belonging to where they live.

Last year, along with 6million other people, I went along to The Big Lunch, where people are encouraged to get together with their neighbours.

It was like stepping back in time – which in itself is a sad reflection of how much times have changed.

I don’t hanker for the past, but I do hope that even more people embrace the concept of getting to know their neighbours again.

Not only does it help with loneliness and isolation, it helps take the pressure off social services and local governments.

Recent studies have found disconnected communities could be costing the UK economy £32billion ever year.

You don’t have to put on a banquet and hire in 500 chairs, it can be as simple as sharing a cup of tea and a biscuit with a couple of people where you live.

Good things happen when people come together, look out for each other and know that they have someone to rely on close by.

I’m proud to be part of the 60 per cent that know my neighbours’ names and I hope that soon there will be even more of us.

For more information on The Big Lunch, visit edenprojectcommunities.com

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Can you give this cat who can’t stop sneezing a forever home?

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An adorable cat is struggling to find a loving home, and rescue centre staff are worried nobody will want to adopt him, because he can’t stop sneezing.

Little Elliott suffers from chronic rhinitis, which means he has a constant runny nose and is congested – so keeps having to sneeze.

The nine-year-old tabby arrived at Cats Protection two months ago, where staff think his persistent sniffles might be putting off new owners.

But the charity workers at the national adoption centre in Chelwood Gate, East Sussex, said the sneezy cat is a happy chap who still deserves a loving home.

Centre deputy manager Tania Marsh said: ‘Elliott is definitely very snuffly and his condition means he has some damage to the bones in his nose.

‘However, this doesn’t bother him and he is a happy, affectionate chap.

Elliot the cat who suffers from chronic rhinitis which makes him sneeze.
Elliott can’t stop sneezing (Picture: SWNS)

‘We think his condition has put off some people from adopting him, which is a shame as he would make a lovely pet.

‘We’re looking for a patient owner who can give Elliott the loving home he desperately needs.

‘Cats with health conditions may seem like a daunting prospect at first, but in many cases they can be managed well with the right care.

‘Cats like Elliott deserve a safe, warm home as much as any other cat, and we hope we can find a new owner for him soon.’

Elliott is such a cute little thing, and his sneezing shouldn’t stop him from getting the forever home he deserves.

MORE: Is Tucker the p*ssed-off kitty the new Grumpy Cat?

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People love this hack that leaves glass clean and streak free

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A cloth on a window washing it
(Picture: Getty)

It’s great when the sun shines but it does show up every finger print and smear on your windows.

Before you reach for the window cleaner, try this hack to keep them streak free.

Earlier this year, a poster on the Extreme Couponing and Bargains Facebook group recommended using fabric conditioner on your windows.

In the post, Jade advises using a cap full of fabric softener and warm water.

She says: ‘I love it. I’ve done my lounge Windows and pvc, fire place, snow globes, plant pots, & pic frames looks and smells amazing.

‘Seen a lot of people use comfort but I used Aldi almat for just over £2. You can use on tiled or wood flooring too! The results are amazing!

She later added: ‘I used a large bowl, cap of softener, 3/4 warm water. If goes on creamy/slimy the just add more water. I’ve seen people use cotton cloths. I used microfiber [sic] to put on the a glass cloth to rub off.’

Apparently the stuff helps to stop the dust sticking to the windows or other things made of glass so it helps keep them clean for longer.

After posting the tip, some other people had some more tips for what to do with fabric conditioner.

Donna said: ‘Wash the radiators with it to and when they heat up they smell lovely, also if your hover has a washable filter, wash that with it .’

Jade even posted an update to say that she’d used the mixture on her rings too to help make them extra shiny.

And if that gets you in the spring cleaning mood, try this hack for cleaning dirty oven racks.

MORE: Sick of cows milk? You can now try a camel milk cappuccino

MORE: The Tamagotchi virtual pet is back for 2019

A woman fell in love with a homeless man, picked him off the streets and changed his life

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Jonathan living on the streets, alongside a photo of him with Katie
Jonathan met Katie while he was homeless (Picture: Chris Frear/Triangle News)

A couple have fallen in love despite the unusual circumstances they met in.

38-year-old Katie Nicol met her now-partner Jon Haynes while he was homeless.

Katie says there was ‘instant chemistry’ between them despite Jon sleeping on the streets.

She used to go and sit with him by his usual spot on the seafront, near an ice cream stand, every single day. And, before long, they were swapping love notes. He even used to write her poems and she would invite him over for homemade roast dinners.

Within three months the pair were officially dating and Jon, 31, is now off the streets, has his own place and has a job.

Deeply in love, they have now been together for eight months.

‘We hit it off and clicked straight away, he seemed so genuine,’ divorcee mum-of-two Katie, of Grimsby, said.

‘Our relationship has got a lot, lot stronger.

‘Every day we laugh, we just laugh all the time.’

Jonathan Haynes, 31, when he was homeless
Jonathan was a drug addict and had been in prison before living on the streets (Picture: Chris Frear/Triangle News)

The pair met on Cleethorpes Beach, Lincs, last June.

Jon – who had been hooked on heroin and the hallucinogenic Spice – had been homeless for 18 months.

But Katie has turned his life around and he has even met his long-lost dad Gary, who he had not seen since he was six years old.

‘She’s helped me a lot, in so many different ways,’ Jon said.

He said life was tough living in a tent near the beach.

‘I got booted in the head a few times, chased and spat at,’ Jon said.

‘But a bloke that owns a couple of ice cream shops down there used to look after me,’ he explained.

Support teacher Katie said: ‘I’d seen him from driving past, and I went to sit with him and said “What’s your story?”

‘We just got on. From then on I went and sat with him every day.

‘He said he wanted to change his life so we decided we would work towards that together.’

The couple would leave notes for each other in Jon’s shoes – which he left among his worldly possessions if he went for a walk.

The first note was from Katie to Jon asking his favourite food, however they quickly developed into love letters.

Jon would also write poems about sleeping rough and his romance with Katie, which she has kept.

One of the poems read: ‘I met Kate a few weeks ago.

‘Where it’ll end up I don’t know.

Katie Nicol, 38, and Jonathan Haynes, 31. enjoying an ice cream on Cleethorpes Promenade
Katie and Jonathan are happily in love (Picture: Chris Frear/Triangle News)

‘I started to give up on myself.

‘This lovely woman stopped and gave me some help.’

Another read: ‘She’s amazing, prettier than any flower.

‘Beautiful on the inside as well as the out.’

It was then that Jon thought the relationship might develop into something more.

‘It was when she was sending me those notes, I thought there was something different here,’ he said.

‘I really liked coming back to them.’

Jon had started sleeping rough after spending more than two-and-a-half years in prison.

He was convicted of GBH after assaulting a man he caught in bed with his former girlfriend, Katie said.

Jon had a cardboard sign, when he was begging, that said: ‘Her lawyer was better than mine.’

However this did not put off Katie, who invited Jon round for a shower, a haircut and roast chicken two months after meeting him.

‘I wasn’t worried when he first came to my house, I felt like I could trust him straight away,’ the support teacher at a behaviour unit explained.

‘I asked him what’s your favourite food, and he said a roast dinner.

‘He hates sausage rolls because he got given them all the time.

‘He said I don’t want to ever eat chips again.’

Jon asked Katie out shortly afterwards, and romance blossomed between the pair and she helped him kick the drugs.

While Katie’s mum Annabel was very supportive of the loved-up pair, not all Katie’s friends shared that view.

‘We’ve had a mixture of reactions,’ Katie said.

‘The majority of my friends have been really supportive, however one has really had a major issue with it.

‘People meet on Tinder which I think is more dangerous than sitting and talking to someone for four months,’ defiant Katie blasted.

Mum-of-two Katie is recently divorced, but said she still gets on well with her ex-husband and would never put her two grown-up children in danger.

‘He’s been really supportive,’ Katie said.

She also set up a reunion between Jon and long-lost dad Gary for the first time in 25 years.

With the help of Jon’s probation officer and the prison warden, they tracked him down and arranged a meeting in Grimsby.

Jon said: ‘My mum would move us around loads when we were kids, to keep us away from my dad.

‘Katie helped me find him. I was a bit overwhelmed when I first met him.’

‘It sent Jon slightly funny at first but recently their relationship has got much stronger,’ Katie explained.

Jon and Gary are now making up for lost time – he even lived with Gary at his home in Burton, Derbs, for several months.

The couple now often go and stay with the family in the Midlands, and regularly meet up for barbecues.

Jon says he will be forever grateful to Katie for everything she’s done for him.

‘I used to think about this when I was sleeping on the beach, that I won’t be here forever,’ he said.

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Bristol bar owner sparks online debate after moaning at customers for ordering tap water

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Restaurant asks customers to stop ordering tap water Bristol Spirit Provider: Google Map Source: https://www.google.com/maps/uv?hl=en&pb=!1s0x48718e461a7fd177%3A0x5bde14f081de10d2!2m22!2m2!1i80!2i80!3m1!2i20!16m16!1b1!2m2!1m1!1e1!2m2!1m1!1e3!2m2!1m1!1e5!2m2!1m1!1e4!2m2!1m1!1e6!3m1!7e115!4s%2Fmaps%2Fplace%2Fbristol%2Bspirit%2Bredfield%2F%4051.4618447%2C-2.5598102%2C3a%2C75y%2C185.57h%2C90t%2Fdata%3D*213m4*211e1*213m2*211suDiwQTB_dgEZXsQQd6KXiw*212e0*214m2*213m1*211s0x48718e461a7fd177%3A0x5bde14f081de10d2%3Fsa%3DX!5sbristol%20spirit%20redfield%20-%20Google%20Search!15sCAQ&imagekey=!1e2!2suDiwQTB_dgEZXsQQd6KXiw&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjK_pmYuLviAhWEThUIHZtrAMcQpx8wCnoECA8QCw
People keep asking Bristol Spirits for tap water. (Picture: Google Maps)

A bar owner in Bristol sparked a fierce debate online after she complained about customers ordering tap water instead of paying for drinks.

The debate sparked fury on Twitter when owner Sam Espensen told her followers that asking for tap water with their meals meant they ‘don’t respect her business enough’ to pay for drinks.

Her bar, Bristol Spirit, in Redfield, Bristol, sells naturally infused spirits as well as wines and beers but said that the bar cannot make a profit when people eat food from pop-ups and don’t buy her drinks.

She vented her frustration on Twitter after 14 people asked for a tap water with their meal in one week.

She said: ‘If you just ask for tap water, it feels like you are telling us you don’t value our business enough to buy a drink, which is the reason we exist.

‘If you come to Bristol Spirit and you only drink free tap water – we will not make enough money from your table to break even, let alone turn a profit.’

She went on to say that in her bar that covers 26 people, in the last week they’ve had just 14 people drink tap water.

Restaurant asks customers to stop ordering tap water Provider: Twitter/Bristol_Spirit Source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7072413/Please-stop-ordering-just-TAP-WATER-Bristol-bar-owners-fury-customers.html
Her rant online. (Picture: http://www.dailymail.co.uk)

She said: ‘Over a month that is a significant amount of income – especially in the Summer months and in hot weather when trade drops off.

‘This is because we have food pop-ups, so the majority of the money from the food goes to them – and rightly so.

‘We understand that you may not have a lot of money, but we cannot survive as a business on money from you just eating.

‘We are a bar not a restaurant. If you don’t want to drink alcohol, we have an excellent range of low sugar mocktails and non alcoholic alternatives.’

But not everyone agreed with her post.

Nikos Christo on Twitter said: ‘You are required by law to provide free tap water. Discouraging people from doing so can lose you your license.’

He then went on to say that she should ‘rethink her business model.’

Another post by Dave Martin suggested she add a surcharge to the bill of those who order tap water.

He wrote: ‘Surely this is a business model? If diners are not buying drinks either add a surcharge or ask for a cut of the food takings.

‘Or just do fewer food pop-ups and bring in people another way. You can only support the food pop-ups if you have a sustainable business.’

She did have some people in her corner though.

Louise Trimby wrote: ‘I rarely drink alcohol nowadays but if I go to Bristol Spirit I am going to drink the brilliant booze on offer (as well as enjoy a lovely bar and vibe) it’d be foolish not to.’

Hannah Fowler wrote: ‘Brilliant post!!! Respectfully honest and genuine.’

Jessica Hodge said: ‘People are mad. I frequently drink tap water while eating but totally got that as a bar with pop up food that doesn’t work for you.’

Sam told Metro.co.uk: ‘Sadly though there is also quite a large amount of people who genuinely think that there is nothing wrong with going to a bar and not ordering a drink, whether they’re eating or not.

‘And that is an industry issue we need to address – I certainly don’t have the answers to the problem – but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t shine a light on it.’

But there is always a positive light nonetheless.

She continued: ‘We’ve also been inundated with support from bars, pubs and restaurants applauding our stance, and many members of the public saying that they hadn’t thought about the consequences of not ordering some sort of drink, and that it will change their behaviour moving forwards.’

Ms Espenden’s bar is an official Refill venue which aims to make it easier to fill up a bottle while on the go.

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Student creates wristband which alerts bar staff when someone is being harassed

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Beatriz shows off her wristband
Beatriz has made the wristband to stop harrassment (Picture: Edinburgh Napier University / SWNS)

A university student has created a colour-changing wristband which alerts friends and nightclub staff if someone is being harassed.

21-year-old Beatriz Carvalho created the discreet wristband, along with a smartphone app, after suffering from harassment as a teenager.

The Edinburgh Napier product design student said she wanted to come up with a savvy invention for her fourth year project which will help victims and educate perpetrators.

Lux, the wristband and app, connects friends on a night out and sends them and bar or nightclub staff an alert if the wearer is feeling distressed or intimidated.

Beatriz said: ‘I settled on creating something that was educational as well as preventative.

‘The aim of Lux is first and foremost to help keep its wearer safe.

Beatriz Carvalho with her wristband
Beatriz Carvalho with her wristband (Picture: Edinburgh Napier University / SWNS)

‘It’s also there to identify behaviour on nights out that is going too far and to help educate the perpetrator that this sort of thing isn’t acceptable.

‘It’s important that people who do potentially harass and step over the line learn to not do this sort of thing again – that’s really the only way that things will improve.’

The product design student added that the invention stemmed from her own experiences of harassment.

She said: ‘It’s also been a personal project. I experienced harassment while I was at High School and there are certain triggers that bring that horrible memory back.

‘It’s the same for people who have experienced something like this in a nightclub or at a gig.

‘No one should be scared of going out and Lux could be the difference for many – it could act like a safety net.’

The gender inclusive wristband can be linked to an app which friends can join before heading on a night out.

Beatriz with her lit-up wristband
It lights up when someone is feeling intimidated (Picture: Edinburgh Napier University / SWNS)

If the wearer finds themselves in a threatening, distressing or uncomfortable situation, they can tap the wristband to trigger an alert sent to friends through the app.

A double tap will make the wristband light up and send a second alarm to bar and nightclub staff.

The bars involved will have to sign up to the scheme to make sure they receive the alerts, which they will get through the app, and by seeing the glowing wristband.

Beatriz said: ‘Sexual harassment and behaviour that makes people uncomfortable is a complex subject.

‘Many people want to shy away from it and pretend that it doesn’t happen.

‘I’ve always been of the view that it is good to talk about these sort of things so that more people know what sort of behaviour is acceptable and what isn’t.

‘I think Lux has the potential to play a big part in allowing these conversations to happen.’

MORE: I wear a wedding ring to avoid being sexually harassed, not because I’m married

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Women are sharing pictures of the identical freckle they all have on their wrist

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A picture of two people with the freckle in the middle of their wrist
(Picture: @adela_babyari/Twitter, @aarynwhitley/Twitter)

We think little marks on our bodies make us unique – but it seems that there could be one in particular that many women share.

A post on Twitter showed a selection of women showing the freckle in the middle of their wrist.

The poster Aaryn Whitley askd ‘ladies….. u got a freckle on the middle of ur wrist or is this a myth lmao.’

And once it went viral, thousands of others shared their own freckle too.

No one seems to be sure of the science behind it – but there certainly are a lot of people with the freckle.

A freckle is an usually high deposit of melanin at one spot in the skin – so it seems like our bodies are depositing our melanin in one place, around the middle of our wrists.

Exposure to the sun activates the production of more melanin, which can cause freckles to be darker. Areas like the wrist are often exposed to sunlight as even with long sleeves, our wrists are not always covered.

Most women who posted a picture were shocked that it was true for so many people.

Some people have lots more freckles than others but pointed out that there was one that was darker than the others in and around the same place as everyone else.

One person said: ‘I was like “nah” but apparently I keep my wrist freckle under my watch.’

‘I was like haaaa not me. Then I looked at my left wrist,’ another said.

‘I’ve had this single dark ass freckle on my wrist since I was a child and I’m very shook to see so many people with one as well like?????,’ another person added.

There were a few people who said they didn’t have one, and a few men who said they had one too but most of the people replied with their own wrist freckle.

Bodies are weird.

MORE: Bristol bar owner sparks online debate after moaning at customers for ordering tap water

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World Health Organisation drops transgender from list of mental disorders

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United States, Washington, Seattle Gay Pride Parade, June 28th, 2015. Cross-dressing dancer on top of pink van.
Landmark legislation could change trans lives for the better. (Picture:John and Lisa Merrill)

The World Health Organisation (WHO) has passed legislation that will no longer categorise being transgender as a mental health condition.

The move has been said to have the potential to ‘liberate’ trans and non-binary people worldwide, making the route to legal transition draw closer.

The decision was approved on Friday 25 May by the World Health Assembly, the WHO governing body that represents 194 member states, and should trickle down to national policies.

However, an evolving scientific understanding of gender and numerous advocates and transgender activists around the world speaking up for the lives of trans people have been key in seeing this result.

Graeme Reid, LGBT rights director at Human Rights Watch said: ‘The WHO’s removal of “gender identity disorder” from its diagnostic manual will have a liberating effect on transgender people worldwide.

‘Governments should swiftly reform national medical systems and laws that require this now officially outdated diagnosis.’

While mental health issues play no part in a person’s gender identity, Graeme Reid said that oppression of trans people can cause suffering.

Philadelphia's Transgender community rallied in Love Park in Center City Philadelphia before marching through downtown to demand basic human and civil rights in Philadelphia, US, on 6th October 2018. (Photo by Cory Clark/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
The advocacy and activism continues. (Picture: Cory Clark/NurPhoto via Getty Images)

He said: ‘Transgender people are fighting stigma and discrimination that can be traced in part to medical systems that have historically diagnosed expressions of gender non-conformity as a mental pathology.

‘But it’s the stigma, discrimination, and bullying—and not anything inherent in gender nonconformity—that can inflict mental health problems in transgender people.’

And this is supported by Jack Drescher, a psychiatrist whose work deals with sexuality and gender.

He said:’There is substantial evidence that the stigma associated with the intersection of transgender status and mental disorders contributes to precarious legal status, human rights violations and barriers to appropriate health care for this population.’

This may be a milestone, but there is still quite a way to go.

According to Transgender Europe, in the UK people require a mental health diagnosis in order to change a person’s gender marker.

A consultation was carried out in 2018 as the Government pledged to reform the Gender Recognition Act which could remove this requirement.

Many groups have campaigned for the UK to follow the lead of countries including Norway, Ireland, France, Portugal and Greece which permit individuals to self-identify their gender.

Philadelphia's Transgender community rallied in Love Park in Center City Philadelphia before marching through downtown to demand basic human and civil rights in Philadelphia, US, on 6th October 2018. (Photo by Cory Clark/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
The United States laws on trans matters vary from State to State. (Photo by Cory Clark/NurPhoto via Getty Images)

Meanwhile in the States, trans rights vary from state to state.

In California, people can apply for a new ID card or driver’s licence through self-certification. At the other end of the spectrum, states including Ohio will not change a person’s gender on their birth certificate under any circumstance.

MORE: Selena Gomez refuses to cancel North Carolina gig despite anti-LGBT laws

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MORE: Trans people need to fight to protect abortion, this ban impacts us too

Will we all be having sex without human contact by 2050?

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Sex provides pleasure, connection, expresses love or lust and is still the fundamental tool for reproduction.

It’s an integral part of the human experience and feels innately human… doesn’t it?

We already use a whole range of digital and technological stimulants – vibrators, sex toys and online porn – and we can certainly get ourselves off without the touch of another human being.

Will technological advancements render ‘traditional’ sex between two humans redundant?

Are there new realms of pleasure available to us that we didn’t even know where possible? Can technology ever truly compare to the intimacy of sharing your body with another human?

Or do all these questions mean we don’t understand the potential of future technologies?

‘People will be having not just sex, but great sex, without any human contact by 2025,’ says Neil McArthur, director of the Centre for Professional and Applied Ethics at the University Of Manitoba.

‘By 2050, a generation will have grown up for whom human sexual relationships are just one item on the menu of sexual possibilities, the way heterosexual monogamous relationships are just one item on a very diverse menu now.

’30 years ago people couldn’t imagine online porn, Snapchat, or Tinder. Now we can’t imagine our sex lives without them. 30 years from now, our sex lives will be just as unimaginable without the new generation of sex tech.’

Neil is convinced that technology is the future of sex. He says that although it may be hard to imagine now, having sex with some kind of machine will feel completely natural in 30 years.

‘Yes, people like to connect in person, and they will never stop doing so.

‘Digisexuals, who forgo human relationships in favour of using technology, will never be the majority, but by 2050 they will be a significant minority – somewhere between 3% and 5% of the population – and we will have to recognise them as legitimate and respect their right to exist without stigma.’

What it's like to come out as a sex and porn addict - Erica Garza picture: Ella Byworth
We already use a whole range of digital and technological stimulants (Picture: Ella Byworth)

When you think of sex without human contact, the first thing to come to mind is probably robot sex.

Sexbots have grown in popularity dramatically over the last few years, with advanced models offering ‘personalities’ and ‘family’ settings.

But when it comes to sexual acts, ethical questions are being asked about the dramatic rise of people choosing to have sex with an inert, powerless machine.

‘Sex dolls and advanced technology could encourage harmful sexual acts, including violence,’ qualified sex counsellor Lianne Young tells Metro.co.uk

‘This is an argument used in the past about pornography but a sexbot arguably has even less limits than human actors you can see engaging in sex for the camera so they could legitimately raise an even greater concern.’

A study published in the British Medical Journal said that the ‘paucity of an evidence base’ make questions about whether sex dolls will change sexual behaviour difficult to answer.

But doctors who wrote the paper said that those questions were worth asking:

‘While many sexbot users may distinguish between fact and fantasy, some buyers may not, leading to concern about potentially exacerbating the risk of sexual assault and rape of actual children and adults,’ the report said.

Lianne is also worried that the more time that people spend connected (in whichever way) to devices, the less time connection with the real world is left.

The pace of progression and new products hitting the market makes the ethical, social and moral implications hard to predict.

But there are already things on the market that are creating controversy:

The couple who share a sex doll
Sexbots can raise a whole host of ethical concerns (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

There is a sex robot that can mimic rape by saying ‘no’ when it is touched. At the other end of the scale, there are already bots that will decline sex if they are ‘not in the mood’.

But sex robots are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Neil McArthur thinks the possibilities for future sexual technology are limitless and will improve our experience of sex overall.

‘New sexual technologies in the coming decades include virtual reality, augmented reality, sophisticated holograms and other things we can’t yet imagine,’ he tells us.

‘Advanced sexual technologies will become more and more popular because they are going to offer experiences that are really amazing.

‘Also, people are frankly bored with the sexual paradigm we’ve had pushed on us for so long: gendered, monogamous relationships. People are already experimenting with different sexual identities and different relationship configurations.’

Millennials are having less sex than previous generations.

2018 was their most sexless year to date, according to data from General Society Society.

Fewer than half of men and women aged 16 to 44 have sex at least once a week, according to a national survey. And the most sexless of all are over-25s and couples who are married or live together.

This dramatic decline in sexual activity is not because we’re just going off sex – half of women and nearly two-thirds of men in the latest survey said they would like to have more sex – but because lifestyle factors are getting in the way.

In most cases, the study reads, ‘the sheer pace of modern life’ was making people too busy or tired to have sex.

The curse of burn out strikes again.

Greater accessibility of sexual technology could be the answer.

We already use technology to get ourselves off, and vibrators and sex toys have come a long way in the last decade.

There’s now an adaptive vibrator that pairs with an app on your phone and intuitively learns how to make you climax, a hands-free sex toy designed to close the orgasm gender gap by focusing on clitoral stimulation and the world’s first AI vibrator will even have a conversation with you.

Coupling AI with sex technology could have the capacity to vastly improve sexual experience. Personalised AI devices could learn your deepest desires, turn-ons and kinks to give you exactly what you want every time.

Using a device that has this intimate knowledge and the ability to vibrate at a speed that humans aren’t capable of could improve both the frequency and quality of our orgasms.

Not all orgasms are created equal.

Machine stimulation has an inherent advantage over human stimulation because it usually means that you have greater control over your pleasure – you know exactly when to turn up the intensity, when to hold off and when to go in for the home straight.

Only 25% of women are consistently able to climax through vaginal intercourse, 20% rarely orgasm in this way and 5% of women never can.

Any technology that can help women achieve regular orgasms will always be in high demand.

Despite the consistent physiological response you can get from using mechanical devices, you can’t ignore the power of connection in sex.

Climaxing with someone you’re deeply connected with is powerful and incomparable.

This feeling is distinct from the release you can give yourself with a sex toy, it transcends the physical. Or at least, this seems to be the case for women.

A 2008 study found that the quality of a woman’s orgasms were directly tied to the feelings she has for her sexual partner.

Researchers at Geneva University and the University of California asked women to rate the intensity of their love and the quality, ease and frequency of the orgasms they achieved with their partner.

The most ‘in love’ subjects reported having orgasms more easily—and far better ones, too.

There is a notable lack of research in this area when it comes to the male experience of love and orgasms, but for women, it seems emotional connection can have a direct effect on sexual pleasure.

Until AI is able to authentically replicate the intensity of this human connection – or love – the power of sexual technology could be limited to the physical.

What if there was an orgasm button on your phone?
Maybe we need an instant orgasm app (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Neil says technology in the bedroom could help couples in other ways.

‘Almost every couple deals at some point with “desire discrepancy”, where one partner wants more sex than the other,’ Neil says.

‘It causes big problems but sex tech could provide a way to deal with it.

‘The variety and excitement that technology offers could keep couples from getting bored with each other. Maybe, as people get used to the new experiences they can get from technology, they may look for new kinds of human relationships.

‘They may decide that familiar monogamous arrangements just aren’t for them’

When it comes to ethics, Neil says there are potential benefits in allowing people to experience sexual pleasure and release without having to involve another human being.

‘Sex tech has the potential to help people who have trouble with human relationships,’ he says.

‘Maybe they have a history of sexual trauma that makes them wary of human partners or maybe they just have trouble finding partners they are compatible with.

‘In an era when more and more people are unhappy with existing gender roles, the technology will allow us to explore new, non-binary, even post-human identities. We can enter worlds where we can be who we want and be with all kinds of partners we could never encounter in real life.’

If this all sounds weird to you – don’t worry, you’re not alone. Technological revolutions are always hard to comprehend for people who weren’t exposed to the developments from a young enough age. Think about your grandma trying to use WhatsApp.

‘If couples can integrate advanced sexual technology into their relationships in a healthy way, the possibilities are dizzying,’ Neil says.

‘The technology won’t be for everyone. Some people will avoid it altogether. Some people will use it as a way to connect to other humans or as a supplement to their relationships.’

‘Some people will use it exclusively.’

And that’s where they remove the need for other humans for sex entirely.

‘Those are the people I call “digisexuals”,’ Neil says.

‘They won’t feel the need for human partners at all. I think that’s all great.

‘The most important lesson is, don’t panic. This technology is going to happen. It will change how we love and how we f***. But that’s not a bad thing.

‘We always get scared by things that are new and radical. But this technology will happen because people want it to and because we’re going to realise that it can take us for a hell of a ride.’

The Future Of Everything

Future Of Everything

This piece is part of Metro.co.uk's series The Future Of Everything.

From OBEs to CEOs, professors to futurologists, economists to social theorists, politicians to multi-award winning academics, we think we've got the future covered, away from the doom mongering or easy Minority Report references.

Every weekday, we're explaining what's likely (or not likely) to happen.

Talk to us using the hashtag #futureofeverything  If you think you can predict the future better than we can or you think there's something we should cover we might have missed, get in touch: hey@metro.co.uk or Alex.Hudson@metro.co.uk

Read every Future Of Everything story so far

Meet the real-life Frozen couple named Elsa and Olaf

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Elsa and Olaf... dressed as Elsa and Olaf from Frozen
Their names really are Elsa and Olaf Picture: Elsa Morgan/Caters News)

A real-life Frozen couple – who are actually named Elsa and Olaf (yes, really) – say their lives have completely changed since the movie was released.

Elsa and Olaf Morgan, both 45, met back in 2012.

Following the release of the Disney movie in 2013, the pair, from Melbourne, Australia, said they ‘couldn’t believe their ears’ when they watched it for the first time and realised two of the main characters shared their names.

And although they thought it was an ‘incredible coincidence’, business owner Elsa and IT worker Olaf – who tied the knot in 2015 – said they never imagined the famous film would end up changing their lives completely.

The couple have since become living legends after their names became famous. And now they’re recognised wherever they go.

Mum-of-two Elsa said: ‘Life has never been the same for us since the movie Frozen came out.

‘We had no idea when it was first released. But then we started getting friends and family who kept telling us to watch it.

‘The first time we saw it, Olaf and I were just killing ourselves laughing the entire time.

Elsa and Olaf in Frozen costumes
Elsa and Olaf – dressed as Elsa and Olaf (Picture: Elsa Morgan/Caters News)

‘We couldn’t believe that two of the main characters from a famous Disney film could have the same names as both of us.

‘It was such an uncanny and incredible coincidence, but we thought it was absolutely fantastic.’

The pair’s famous names have unbelievably landed them in some hot water from officials, who suspected fraud after they completed some transactions from a joint business account – but were exonerated after proving their identity.

Elsa and Olaf added that even travelling together has changed since ‘Frozen’ was released – with their passports and IDs conjuring up plenty of ‘smiles, questions and comments’ from people working at airports and hotels.

British-born Olaf, who is originally from Staffordshire in the UK, said: ‘We never even thought much about our names before the Frozen phenomena took over.

‘But now it gets brought up at least three times a week from complete strangers.

‘The funniest times are when Elsa and I are together, travelling or checking into a hotel.

‘Our passports or IDs will be checked, and the person behind the counter always gets this massive smile on their face.

‘The craziest thing that happened was when our joint business account was suspended because they were suspicious of our names.

‘We had to prove our identity and it was all fine in the end, but we thought that was pretty outrageous.’

Elsa and Olaf together
The pair met before Frozen was released (Picture: Elsa Morgan/Caters News)

While the couple say their children Alfie, four, and Georgie, one, are too young to appreciate the significance of their parents’ names, the pair cannot wait for them to watch the film when they are older.

And with a Frozen sequel set to be released in November this year, Elsa and Olaf say they are getting prepared for another Disney roller coaster ride.

Elsa said: ‘It’s been such a fun journey and we’ve had so many laughs along the way.

‘We can make people smile and that means everything to us.

‘It really feels like Olaf and I were meant to be.

‘It’s like magic that this would happen to us and just confirms that we belong together.

‘The names Elsa and Olaf will be intertwined together forever now and so will we.

‘It’s really beautiful and we wouldn’t change it for the world.’

MORE: World Health Organisation drops transgender from list of mental disorders

MORE: Women are sharing pictures of the identical freckle they all have on their wrist

A stunning waterfront home tucked into the Cornish cove is on the market

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A picture of the property tucked into the cornish cove
The house is tucked into the Cornish cove (Picture: BNPS/LillicrapChilcott)

A stunning waterfront home that offers panoramic views is on the market for close to £1 million.

Readymoney Cove in Cornwall sits at the mouth of the Fowey River and is less than 50 yards from a secluded sandy beach.

The cottage is one of just four houses in the spot and has views over the beach to the river and open sea.

Its current owners have been there for over a decade and have given it a complete makeover.

An outside view of the property
The views are lovely (Picture: BNPS/LillicrapChilcott)

The ground floor has an entrance hall, three bedrooms and a family shower room, while upstairs there is an additional bedroom along with a sitting and dining room and a kitchen which has doors to a balcony.

Outside is a private slate paved terrace and a detached workshop area.

The house is currently being used as a holiday home but the owners have decided to sell as they’re no longer using it as often as they’d like.

It has been listed with Cornish estate agents Lillicrap Chilcott who have given it an asking price of £950,000.

They are expecting Readymoney to attract a large amount of interest and say the views and location are sure to appeal to buyers.

Dominic Skerry, of Lillicrap Chilcott, said: ‘It’s such an iconic spot locally – right at the mouth of the estuary.

‘Members of the sailing fraternity will love this property because it’s a big area for those kinds of activities.

The inside of the property
Inside the house is very cosy (Picture: BNPS/LillicrapChilcott)

‘The views are absolutely spectacular and are perfectly formed from the first floor in particular.

‘It’s a private home, perfect for families and we would expect it to attract interest.’

The idyllic cottage was built around 300 years ago but by the time the current owners purchased it in 2007 it was just a ‘hovel’.

Dominic added: ‘The current owners bought it in 2007 and have given it a total refurbishment in that time.

‘When they bought the property it was literally just a hovel but they’ve spent a considerable amount of money giving it a complete go-over.

‘They’ve been using it as a holiday home but their kids are grown up now and they’re not getting down as much as they would like.’

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Calling all West Ham fans: The perfect home for you is on the market

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Photos of the property next to the stadium
Calling all West Ham fans! (Picture: Mediadrumimages / Unique Property Company)

West Ham fans, rejoice: The perfect home for you has just come on the market.

A two-bed apartment overlooking Hammers’ London Stadium is selling for £750,000 in one of London’s new ‘go to’ areas.

It features lovely bedrooms, bathrooms and spacious living areas as well as a large, modern kitchen.

The exterior of the apartment building sits on the river, and the property also features an outside terrace with views of its surrounding areas – including the former Olympic stadium, which is now home to football club West Ham.

The two-bed apartment is located in Legacy House, Hackney Wick, London and is currently listed by Unique Property Company.

The inside of the property overlooking the stadium
Inside of the lovely property (Picture: Mediadrumimages / Unique Property Company)

The listing reads: ‘Once a barren industrial estate, Fish Island in Hackney Wick has fast become a mecca for smart property investment and lifestyle purchases alike.

‘One of the earlier schemes, Legacy House sits on the site of a former woodworking warehouse with the tranquil canal running by its side and beautifully urban views that take-in the former Olympic stadium and pool, as well as the drama of Westfield Stratford and forthcoming “Eastbank” which will feature the V&A, BBC, Sadlers Wells and London college of fashion.

‘All of this is just minutes on foot along with the extensive transport links that include: Tube, mainline, overline and DLR rail networks plus a healthy list of bus routes.

‘On the top floor of this distinctive building, a two bedroom penthouse apartment sits proudly surveying the local landscape from the generous balcony.

The living area of the property
Inside the property (Picture: Mediadrumimages / Unique Property Company)

‘Inside the clean minimal interiors have been fitted out to a super high standard. The owners have dressed and finished accordingly making full use of the open floor space. From the chic kitchen to the living area, the space flows effortlessly and whilst there are two bedrooms, the second has internal bi-fold doors which can be opened to provide additional living space if required. The main bedroom has the benefit of en-suite also.

‘If this isn’t enough, head upstairs and on to a breathtaking communal roof terrace that would make Shoreditch house proud.

‘This pocket of East London has rightfully earned a reputation as a real, “go to” area. There’s plenty of nightlife and day life on the doorstep and further afield.’

MORE: A stunning seven-bed manor house on the Cornish coast is on the market for £2.5 million

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Muslims Who Fast: Tabetha, who organises Open Iftar, shows us food from Pakistan

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Muslims Who Fast, Iftar, Tabetha Bhatti
Tabetha (second from left) co-hosted an iftar with her friends (Picture: Matthew Chattle)

Muslims Who Fast is our annual mini-series prying into the lives of those tucking into their iftar during Ramadan.

Yesterday, we spoke to fitness trainer Nazia who goes on midnight runs after long nightly prayers following iftar.

Today we speak to Tabetha Bhatti who works with The Ramadan Tent Project, a massive open iftar open to Muslims and non-Muslims around the UK.

As part of her work, Tabetha sees hundreds of people uniting under a tent to break fast together indulging in dates, rice, fruits and more.

But what does she eat when she has iftar at home? Tabetha invited Metro.co.uk to show us food from Pakistan which she shared with her friends.

Let’s take a look at her iftar

Table of food as people prepare dinner
Tabetha’s dinner featured popular Asian dishes (Picture: Matthew Chattle)
A mix of east and western food
A mix of east and western food (Picture: Matthew Chattle)
'Dahi baras' - A South Asian dish,
‘Dahi baras’ – A South Asian dish popular in Pakistan and India (Picture: Matthew Chattle)

Tell us about yourself

I am a former teacher whose passion project is now the Ramadan Tent Project’s Open Iftar initiative (which allows Muslims to sit shoulder to shoulder on the floor under a large tent to eat together in iconic locations around the U.K). I’m also mildly allergic to kiwi.

What are you having tonight? (No kiwis, we hope)

‘Dahi baras’ – A South Asian dish, made of gram flour dumplings in a yoghurt sauce, we’re also having mixed veggie bhaji, chicken pasties, fruit salad, chicken biryani and vegetable samosas.

We broke our fast with dates and water as is sunnah (prophetic tradition!).

Spoonful of biryani being served
Some delicious looking biryani (Picture: Matthew Chattle)

Do you miss dining with your family when you’re at the Open Iftar?

I have historically spent quite a bit of time at Open Iftar over the years, and thus tend to dine at home with family and/or with friends once or twice a week.

I do miss breaking fast with family, my parents, in particular. That said, I consider many of the people I work alongside to deliver Open Iftar to be family; having broken fast, prayed and worked together for so many years, it’s only natural that the ties that bind are rather profound in nature.

Muslims Who Fast, Iftar, Tabetha Bhatti
Tabetha tries to be home for iftar at least once a week (Picture: Matthew Chattle)

When did you begin fasting?

I started observing Ramadan at the age of 14 – fasting the full day, from sunrise to sunset, throughout the course of the month.

Tabetha chopping fruits
She’s really focused on chopping those fruits (Picture: Matthew Chattle)

Do you have any special Ramadan rituals/traditions?

A hot cup of milky tea post iftar is an absolute must. Also, I tend to go for a leisurely walk in the evening if breaking fast at home.

Muslims Who Fast, Iftar, Tabetha Bhatti
(Picture: Matthew Chattle)

What do you normally break fast with?

I will always break fast with dates and water; if at home, I’ll make sure there’s a hearty soup, some fruit salad and some homemade lemonade – nutritious and hydrating food stuff and beverages are essential!

Fried chicken
Some chicken to go with it (Picture: Matthew Chattle)

What does Ramadan mean to you?

It’s so much more than simply going without food and drink; it is a time in which to attain a higher level of Godly consciousness, one in which you can strive to be the best version of yourself.

It’s about exercising humility and centering and spreading kindness through your every word and action.

Salad on dinner table
And a salad of course (Picture: Matthew Chattle)

Do you have any particularly special memories of Ramadan in the past?

I remember going to get ice cream with my father prior to the night prayer quite frequently during Ramadan as a child – any variation of chocolate and vanilla with chocolate fudge sauce on top, cookies and cream if I was feeling adventurous.

I also remember lots of iftars being hosted at home, with family and friends attending en masse, cousins running around the garden after the breaking of the fast – good times.

Tabetha serving guests
Tabetha normally breaks her fast with hundreds of strangers (Picture: Matthew Chattle)

What foods do you crave when you’re fasting?

I don’t really crave foods, I struggle more so with not being able to drink water, particularly within the first few days of the month, but eating and drinking sensibly between the evening meal when the fast breaks and the morning meal before the fast begins, and it’s easy to prevent hunger/thirst!

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Jogger who suffered a heart attack has life saved by four total strangers

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Vivienne, Laura, Alan, Brett and Mick (l-r) (PA Real Life/Collect)
The group are firm friends after that traumatic event (Picture: PA Real Life)

A 56-year old man was saved by four strangers after he suffered a cardiac arrest while he was out running.

Alan Cleghorn, a retired software engineer, was out with his running partner and neighbour, Vivienne Magowan, in February 2017 when he collapsed and suffered a seizure, followed by a heart attack.

He was just 500 yards from the home he shares with his wife Barbara, in Lancashire.

Laura Barrie, then 16, was being driven home from school by her mum when she saw Alan collapse. She made her mum stop the car and jumped out.

As Vivienne put Alan in the recovery position to clear his airways, Laura, now 18, called 999 and her mum, Sarah, redirected the traffic, just as passing motorist Mick Charnley, on his way home from work, pulled up and rushed over to help.

Mick – who had no medical training – administered chest compressions, following the instructions of the emergency operator.

Alan running, 2014
Alan is now back in the gym, but running is on hold for the moment (Picture: PA Real Life)

As Alan’s distraught wife Barbara arrived, another motorist Brett Fielding, pulled up and offered his assistance as he was a St John Ambulance trained first aider.

He stepped in to give Mick a rest, continuing with the compressions, as they waited for the paramedics to arrive.

Barbara, who arrived at the scene just minutes after Alan collapsed, said: ‘It was the scariest moment of my life, I thought I had lost him.

‘I was utterly distraught and just remember screaming at the top of my voice, seeing the man I loved slipping away from me.

‘But the selfless intervention of these people saved him. The doctors told us afterwards that without their actions, Alan would probably not have survived, or at the least would have suffered brain damage.’

Barbara asked Vivienne to get contact details from everyone who had helped and, to show their gratitude, the couple invited all of Alan’s saviours to their home a week after he was discharged from hospital and treated them to a meal.

Alan in hospital (PA Real Life/Collect)
Alan had emergency surgery to unclog his arteries (Picture: PA Real Life)

Now, the group of five strangers say they have an ‘unbreakable bond’ after the life or death ordeal made them friends for life.

After their initial meeting, the whole group now have regular get-togethers and meals out, and Alan and Barbara even went to Brett’s wedding in Portugal last June.

‘We have all shared a pretty life-changing moment together and that really bonds you to each other,’ said Barbara. ‘They are all lovely people and we really enjoy spending time with them.

‘Something good has come from something so horrible and, for as long as we both live, these people will have a special place in mine and Alan’s hearts.’

After his heart attack, Alan had emergency surgery to unblock his clogged anterior artery. Alan had lost both his parents in their 50s to heart-related conditions and, although he was unaware of it, his anterior artery was almost entirely clogged with cholesterol and fatty deposits.

Alan and Barbara (PA Real Life/Collect)
Alan with his wife Barbara (Picture: PA Real Life)

‘Everything happened in such a blur, but I do remember the paramedics saying to me as they got him into hospital, “Make sure he keeps up with the running!” Despite everything, it was a welcome bit of humour.

‘When he got to Blackpool, Alan was taken into surgery straight away and they put a stent in his artery.

‘And, although the operation was successful, because he hadn’t been breathing for so long the doctors told me that there was a possibility he may wake up with damage to his brain.’

Thankfully, Alan was fine and was allowed home two days after the heart attack.

Now, Alan is back at the gym, but sadly, his running jaunts with Vivienne are on hold for now.

‘I turned around and Alan wasn’t there any more. People were starting to get out of their cars and I could see Alan’s jacket on the road,’ explained Vivienne.

‘I’ve only used first aid before as a Mum dealing with minor cuts and bruises but you just run on adrenalin and I knew to stop him from choking on his tongue and check his breathing.

‘Thankfully the others arrived when his heart stopped because I don’t think I could have done it by myself.’

The life saving group have been nominated by Alan’s wife Barbara for a St John Ambulance Everyday Heroes award, we wish them the best of luck.

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One in five girls are bullied because of their periods

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School girls
49% said they had not spoken to anyone about the abuse (Picture: Ben Birchall/PA Wire)

One in five girls and young women are teased or bullied over their periods, with many suffering in silence, according to a new study.

Of the 20% of 14 – 21 year-olds who told researchers that they had been targeted, 49% said they had not spoken to anyone about the abuse, showing the ‘unacceptable stigma and shame’ they are facing.

67% of the women questioned said that the abuse was mainly occurring in schools, and 66% said they have missed classes because of their period.

So many of us still feel the pervasive stigma around periods. Women are even too embarrassed to mention their periods to their female friends.

Even when we leave school and enter higher education or the world of work, there are unspoken taboos. Many women still feel that they have to hide tampons and find it hard to talk about PMS symptoms – even if it affects their ability to work.

The research published by Plan International UK, comes as Minister for Women and Equalities Penny Mordaunt prepares to announce the charity as co-chair of its period poverty taskforce.

A woman holding a tampon
Plan International UK will co-chair a new period poverty taskforce (Picture: Getty)

They will work with the Government Equalities Office and the Procter & Gamble corporation to tackle stigma and boost education around periods.

Accessibility to period products will also be examined while the 5% VAT on tampons or towels known as the ‘tampon tax’ will also be investigated.

Plan International UK chief executive Tanya Barron said girls are ‘facing unacceptable stigma and shame linked to their periods.

‘Not only is this damaging girls’ confidence and self-esteem, it’s also having an often-overlooked impact on their education,’ she added.

‘Girls tell us they are missing out on school because of their period and struggling to catch up on schoolwork as a result. We can’t allow this to continue.’

So far, it has been announced that tampons and other sanitary products will be given out free in England in schools and to hospital patients.

‘For too long women and girls in the UK have faced unnecessary adversity around their periods, that is why we have formed this new taskforce,’ explained Penny Mordaunt.

‘Our two new co-chairs, Plan International UK and Procter & Gamble, have already produced impressive work around the country to improve access to period products and change old-fashioned attitudes to menstruation and break down taboos.’

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Woman creates a ‘fearless folder’ with a genius checklist for her family in case she dies unexpectedly

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The fireproof safe and documents
She got the idea after injuring herself and becoming temporarily bed-bound (Picture: Facebook/Mums Who Budget & Save)

We all want to know that our loved ones will be safe, secure and happy after we die – but one woman has taken her preparations one step further.

A mother-of-five from Australia has created a clever ‘fearless folder’ so her family will know exactly what to do if she gets seriously injured or dies unexpectedly.

Deidre prepared a fireproof safe, which includes documents and her ‘fearless answers’ to a series of ‘important questions that would be asked’ if she were to die.

‘It’s about preparing for the worst so your family is financially protected. You can be perfectly healthy one minute, then be incapacitated the next,’ she said in Mums Who Budget & Save.

She used a checklist from ‘The Barefoot Investor for Families’ book by author Scott Pape, to make sure she had included everything her husband and children would need.

The ‘fearless answers’ include, ‘who will raise our kids if we both die?’, ‘at what age should the kids receive inheritance’ and ‘what are my funeral wishes’.

Inside the safe, she included both her and husband’s wills, power of attorney, marriage certificate, birth certificates, property paperwork and their passports.

Fearless Folder
Deirdre is confronting all the scary questions (Picture: The Barefoot Investor for Families)

She also included instructions for her funeral, such as the kind of memorial she wanted and details of her accountant, lawyer and financial planner.

She included her net worth and details about her life insurance policy and income protection.

Deidre also put together the ‘big list’, which includes her social media, bank accounts and login details.

‘Last year I had a fall where I broke my wrist. I slipped on water on the bathroom floor and landed hard enough on it to need surgery and a plate to repair it,’ wrote Deidre.

‘I am fine now, and was very lucky I didn’t bang my head, but it hit home how quickly things can change.

‘This begs the question, what happens to my family if something serious were to happen to me?

‘In the case of my broken wrist, our income was seriously impacted as my husband had to take time off work to look after the kids, fortunately only for a fairly short period of time while my wrist healed.

‘I’m the main financial organiser in my family, if anything happened to me, figuring out all this stuff would be very tough for my husband, and sorting out a financial nightmare is the last thing a grieving person needs.’

Deidre also wrote letters to her husband and five children.

‘Just in case my death was sudden, so I have a chance to tell them how much I love them and how special they are to me,’ she explained.

Death is something that most of us like to ignore completely, but getting organised before it’s too late could be an enormous help for the people who depend on you.

MORE: Will we all be having sex without human contact by 2050?

MORE: One in five girls are bullied because of their periods

MORE: Jogger who suffered a heart attack has life saved by four total strangers

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