You can get sex toys that lay alien eggs inside you so obviously we tried it

September 12, 2017, 10:00 pm

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I’ve been seeing the alien ovipositor doing the internet rounds for the last couple of years.

But despite reviewing sex toys as part of my job, I’ve never come across one (so to speak) in real life, nor known anyone who’s actually tried getting down and dirty with a sex tentacle.

Is this the most intense sex toy in the world? We braved the Sybian experience

Even articles that had been shared worldwide only talked about doing the alien sex dance, rather than actually, you know, doing it.

So when I was… Read the full story

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Illamasqua has hired Munroe Bergdorf to be one of the faces of their new campaign

September 12, 2017, 11:28 pm

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It’s been a big few weeks in the beauty industry.

Munroe Bergdorf has been hired as the face of Illamasqua's new campaign

First L’Oreal made us all very happy by announcing that they’d hired their first ever transgender woman to front one of their campaigns. Then, after that woman posted an impassioned statement about race, L’Oreal sacked her, stating that Munroe Bergdorf’s views were at odds with their ‘values’… despite the campaign proclaiming to be all about diversity. Interesting.

That sparked massive debate and disappointment.

Clara Amfo quit the campaign. Other long term L’Oreal… Read the full story

12 ways porn will improve your sex life

September 12, 2017, 11:37 pm

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Porn. What’s not to love.

Well, quite a lot according to some, with the belief that it can be detrimental to a relationship by setting up unrealistic expectations in the bedroom.

The top 10 sexual fantasies women have (but probably won’t admit to)

However, whilst it isn’t without its grey areas, there is a case to be argued that porn can actually improve your sex life.

Ease up on the over-analysing and you might be pleasantly surprised. Here are 12  ways porn can actually improve your sex life.

1. It puts you in the mood

Porn is popular for a reason.

And, with the… Read the full story

Five dating habits men need to stop doing

September 12, 2017, 11:58 pm

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Pull up a chair son, I’ve got some dating advice for you.

Magical jumper lets you show off your nipples while keeping your arms cosy

There was a simpler time when dating habits didn’t bother me, around the time Mr. Blobby was in his prime and Furbies were still considered to be adorable household pets rather than the precursor to the vicious modern-day robot.

Although I have the dating history of a mature Stilton (sans scent), I have seen the same beyond-parody mistakes being made by men since the age of fifteen.

Ten years on, after juggling a molotov cocktail of confusion,… Read the full story

Guys spill the beans on how they lost their virginity

September 13, 2017, 12:00 am

≫ Next: Grandparents will be pretty annoyed if you give your baby any of these names

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The giddy thrill of mutual attraction, the intoxicating buzz of transgression, that pure and perfect climax.

It’s true what they say – you never forget your first time.

3 men discuss their first orgasm

And sure, it isn’t always scintillating or special, but it’s a memory we nonetheless carry with us for the rest of our lives.

Metro.co.uk caught up with three guys eager to share their funny, gross and downright adorable cherry-popping yarns.

NSFW, pretty much.

Against a fire door, on the 22nd floor

Read the full story

Grandparents will be pretty annoyed if you give your baby any of these names

September 13, 2017, 12:32 am

≫ Next: New York pizza festival’s being dubbed ‘the new Fyre fest’ because of the lack of pizza

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Filled with resentment for your parents? Feel like using your future offspring to p*ss them off? You’ve come to the right place.

A new survey from Mumsnet reveals that an easy way to seriously annoy your parents is to give your child, AKA their grandchild, an ‘unconventional’ name.

Take that, Mum.

PSA: Tiny baby hedgehogs look remarkably like little ball sacks

Mumsnet and Gransnet surveyed more than 2,000 parents and grandparents, and found that 19% of grandparents said they hate or have hated their grandchild’s name.

Meanwhile, one in six parents say they have a parent or in-law who hates their child’s name – suggesting that not all… Read the full story

New York pizza festival’s being dubbed ‘the new Fyre fest’ because of the lack of pizza

September 13, 2017, 12:38 am

≫ Next: Roald Dahl character costumes – the best fancy dress for Roald Dahl day

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The images of Fyre Festival will forever live on in our memories.

People thought they’d be partying like VIPS…and found themselves abandoned in the middle of nowhere with only their elite dreams to comfort them.

How to stay healthy, happy and fit now that summer is well and truly over

‘It must never happen again!’ we all collectively screamed.

But it has.

Just months after the biggest let down in ultra-expensive festival history, a Fyre #2 has occurred – this time, in NYC.

The NYC Pizza Festival sounded like it’d be a pretty solid event.  After all, pizza slices are New… Read the full story

Roald Dahl character costumes – the best fancy dress for Roald Dahl day

September 13, 2017, 1:26 am

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The legendary children’s writer Roald Dahl’s celebrated his birthday in September and each year we in turn celebrate his work and life on Roald Dahl Day.

It's not okay to borrow money from your friends

On September 13 people can honour their favourite children’s author however they see fit, with many digging out his books for yet another read.

A good way to pay homage to Roald Dahl would be to embody the best of his stories’ heroes such as Matilda, Sophie, George, Charlie, James, Danny or Billy.

You could… Read the full story

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Magical jumper lets you show off your nipples while keeping your arms cosy

September 13, 2017, 1:50 am

≫ Next: ‘Busty, plus sized’ teen apparently pulled out of class for wearing a ‘revealing’ top

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Every morning we wake up with a sense of ennui, an eternal longing.

We sift through our wardrobe, listless and unenthused. We pull on another grey T-shirt. We go about our days, unfulfilled.

New York pizza festival's being dubbed 'the new Fyre fest' because of the lack of pizza

Why? Because for years we have wanted the opportunity to stay warm and cosy while also proudly displaying our nipples to the world.

We’ve tried just cutting little nip holes in all our blouses, obviously, but nothing we tried was ever quite right.

Now, finally, there’s an answer to our nip-related prayers.

First noticed by BuzzFeed, Calvin… Read the full story

‘Busty, plus sized’ teen apparently pulled out of class for wearing a ‘revealing’ top

September 13, 2017, 2:05 am

≫ Next: Your spouse’s weight could be massively increasing your risk of type 2 diabetes

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This is 17-year-old Kelsey Anderson.

Aside from being a regular teen, she’s apparently got bigger boobs than most of the other girls in her class.

We can't work out if this 'real life Furby' is adorable or terrifying

And while many might think that’s irrelevant when it comes to schooling, the teachers at her high school apparently think it’s a distraction.

Because according to Kelsey’s mother, Melissa, she was pulled out of class the other day for being ‘busty’ and ‘plus sized’.

She was apparently told that she was in violation of Joplin High School’s dress code after turning up in a long sleeved top,… Read the full story

Your spouse’s weight could be massively increasing your risk of type 2 diabetes

September 13, 2017, 2:15 am

≫ Next: EasyJet will now let you book long-haul flights with other carriers

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New research has found that guys who are married to obese women may be at a ‘substantial risk’ of developing type 2 diabetes.

However, the same doesn’t apply the other way around.

Modern students are shunning baked beans for actual healthy meals

Scientists from Aarhus University in Demark looked into whether obesity of type 2 diabetes in one partner could lead to type 2 in the other.

The theory was that certain habits are probably transferred or shared between partners which increase the likelihood of developing the disease –  from regularly ordering takeaways to choosing the sofa over the gym.

And they… Read the full story

EasyJet will now let you book long-haul flights with other carriers

September 13, 2017, 2:20 am

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Attention, fans of cheap travel and the colour orange: EasyJet is finally making the move into long-haul flights.

Stop what you're doing and read this epic thread about a cheating boyfriend

While EasyJet still won’t be offering their own direct long-haul flights, they will now let customers use their website to book long-haul flights with other carriers.

This means you’ll be able to use EasyJet to get a connecting flight to locations such as Singapore, New York, and Los Angeles.

Previously, you’ve had to book each flight separately through different websites, but now you can plan your entire journey for certain long-haul trips through EasyJet alone. Hooray.

The new service… Read the full story

We can’t work out if this ‘real life Furby’ is adorable or terrifying

September 13, 2017, 2:43 am

≫ Next: Pregnant mum does maternity shoot covered in bees

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Some things are just better off fictional.

From cartoon characters to pathetic shows of romantic persistence, when certain things enter the real world, they take on a horrifying new dimension which, frankly, no-one needs.

How to stay healthy, happy and fit now that summer is well and truly over

This Tawny Frogmouth – which is being touted as a ‘real life Furby’ – is one of those things.

Okay, we’ll admit, it’s kinda cute? Fluffy things automatically get a few bonus points just for sheer fluff.

But look at that gaping maw, and try to explain the horrifying void… Read the full story

Pregnant mum does maternity shoot covered in bees

September 13, 2017, 2:45 am

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From pregnant dogs, to Disney princesses, to mermaids – maternity shoots are going through something of a renaissance this year.

We’ve gotta admit, though – this is a new one.

Expectant mother Emily Mueller took things one step further for her own maternity shoot, covering herself in a swarm of live bees.

Giving your baby one of these names is an easy way to annoy your parents

As you do.

The Ohio woman’s idea was stemmed from her day job as a beekeeper, and has attracted a whole load of crazed reactions on social media.

‘I’m sorry… but I just don’t get… Read the full story

Stop what you’re doing and read this epic thread about a cheating boyfriend

September 13, 2017, 3:05 am

≫ Next: PSA: Tiny baby hedgehogs look remarkably like little ball sacks

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There’s nothing like a bit of Twitter beef to really get the working day off to a flying start.

So with that in mind, let me introduce you to Ayana.

New York pizza festival's being dubbed 'the new Fyre fest' because of the lack of pizza

She’s a recent grad and beauty business woman who’s blessed us all with a blow-by-blow account of how she found her ex-boyfriend cheating on her.

Sure, it sounds sort of ghoulish to enjoy someone’s pain, Ayana seems to be getting quite a lot of cathartic release by blowing this guy’s world apart online.

It all began when Ayana instantly… Read the full story

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PSA: Tiny baby hedgehogs look remarkably like little ball sacks

September 13, 2017, 3:42 am

≫ Next: 15 people reveal the worst thing someone has said to them during sex

≪ Previous: Stop what you’re doing and read this epic thread about a cheating boyfriend

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You’re all familiar with hedgehogs.

Your garden’s probably been visited by one of two nocturnal friends. You grew up watching two dancing hedgehogs learning to cross the road. You saw Sooty feed dog food to one.

We can't work out if this 'real life Furby' is adorable or terrifying

But have you ever seen a brand new little hedgehog?

Probably not.

And if you’ve never seen freshly born hoglets (that’s the technical name), then you probably aren’t aware that they look exactly like nut sacks.

In fact, they’re the cutest looking little testicles you could ever come across, as hedgehog owner Maura has proved:

Read the full story

15 people reveal the worst thing someone has said to them during sex

September 13, 2017, 4:00 am

≫ Next: Students these days are shunning baked beans for actual healthy meals

≪ Previous: PSA: Tiny baby hedgehogs look remarkably like little ball sacks

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We all like compliments.

Especially if they come while we’re naked and trying our best.

11 people reveal the worst thing that’s happened to them during sex

Sadly, when humans are concentrating on getting their rocks off or are recently ‘spent’, they have a tendency to say the first thing that comes into their head.

We’ve all heard of sweet nothings but the following are the exact opposite of that.

Today, 15 people reveal the worst thing someone has said to them mid-bone… Read the full story

Students these days are shunning baked beans for actual healthy meals

September 13, 2017, 4:02 am

≫ Next: Forget Jeremy Meeks, there’s new hot felon in town and he’s already walked at NYFW

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When I was a first year uni student, my diet was appalling.

Forget Jeremy Meeks, there's new hot felon in town and he's already walked at NYFW

I had a very basic repertoire of meals – potato waffle sandwiches, BLTs, or a frozen chicken kiev with frozen peas/baked beans and some form of frozen potato product.

Me and my flatmate would think we were being super #luxe when we made our fancy pre-night out meal of ‘wedges and vegs’ which basically meant cooking up a load of broccoli and a load of… Read the full story

Forget Jeremy Meeks, there’s new hot felon in town and he’s already walked at NYFW

September 13, 2017, 4:38 am

≫ Next: Yankee Candle’s advent calendar is filled with our favourite winter scents

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Jeremy Meeks set hearts aflutter when his mug shot made its way to the internet.

Those blue eyes! Those tattoos! That thug life!

PSA: Tiny baby hedgehogs look remarkably like little ball sacks

But now he’s left his supportive wife and shacked up with billionaire Chloe Green (no comment), he’s sort of lost his charm.

Fortunately, there’s a new hot felon in town, ready to fill the space JM left behind.

Entre: Mekhi Alante Lucky, AKA ‘Prison Bae’.

Read the full story

Yankee Candle’s advent calendar is filled with our favourite winter scents

September 13, 2017, 5:06 am

≫ Next: Roald Dahl Day: McDonald’s is now handing out Roald Dahl books in Happy Meals

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Yankee Candle advent calendars are finally here and you can now enjoy your favourite scents every day in the lead up to Christmas.

McDonald's is now handing out Roald Dahl books in Happy Meals

While we still expect people will be adding large Yankee jars to their Christmas list, the 2017 Yankee calendar is perfect for anyone who wants to seriously commit to the candles for twenty-four days of December.

The calendar features 24 Christmas-themed doors which are all home to a tiny tea light candle – and it also comes with a glass tea light holder to burn them in.

According to… Read the full story