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Hurry up and poo at your boyfriend’s house

(Picture: Getty Images/Ezrena)

Everybody poops.

I poo. You poo. That hot woman who works on the third floor of your office poos.

Everybody poos, and that does not stop people from being attractive. Because if it did, not a single one of us would be getting laid.

And yet, there’s this myth. This curious, strange myth that women do not poo.

Deep down, we all know that women poo. They’re human. Of course they poo.

But we like to pretend they don’t, so we can preserve ‘feminine mystique’ – or, to put bluntly, so we can preserve the idea that women’s bodies are only for sex, and thus we cannot acknowledge that their bodies would do anything… Read the full story

Keep your capsule wardrobes – I had to get rid of 95% of my clothes and it was harder than I ever imagined

This will be easy… right?! (Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro.co.uk)

I am not a minimalist person.

I cover every inch of wall space with fairy lights and pictures, every surface is littered with papers and books and my outfits tend to involve stripes and polka dots and bows and scarves and pointless belts.

When The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up had everyone ridding themselves of their possessions, I just rolled my eyes and ignored it.

But things things have changed a lot since Marie Kondo’s 2011 best-seller pushed minimalism as a lifestyle choice rather than an aesthetic one.

The idea that fewer belongings mean more happiness has hit the mainstream in a big way.

Lifestyle bloggers… Read the full story

Yes feline friends, you can actually train your cat

Get a clicker and stop him from crapping all over your carper (Picture: Getty)

Dog people often slag off cats for being disobedient critters who have nothing but contempt for their owners.

Anyone who actually lives with felines knows, however, that they’re damn clever.

And now science has proved what some of us have known forever: cats can be trained – even older ones.

A study by Colorado State University looked at 100 shelter cats who were going through ‘clicker training’.

That’s a type of animal method based on behavioural psychology which involves teaching an animal simple things like touching something when a clicker is pressed before being rewarded with a treat.

Read the full story

Most Brits think their partner is more attractive than them

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

They say, when it comes to dating, that sh*t finds its own level.

And while many couples do seem to be perfectly matched, there are those exceptions that stand out.

We’ve all got a stunning mate who’s taken up with an absolute toad. We’ve all watched, baffled, as the hottest guy in the class hooks up with a Plain Jane.

Beauty, after all, is in the eye of the beholder – not everyone judges it in the same way.

Which might go some way to explaining why the majority of us here in the UK don’t believe that we’re on an equal pegging with our partners.

A new YouGov… Read the full story

Just one day of binge eating can screw with your body

(Picture: Getty)

You eat healthily all week.

Monday to Friday, you’re chomping on Buddha bowls and complex carbs like no tomorrow. You’re down the gym after work every day. You’re sober.

Then come the weekend, you get your reward. After a Saturday night out, you like to sit in bed eating pizza, garlic bread, Kettle Chips and chocolate buttons, safe in the knowledge that your hangover will soon kill you and put an end to this state of misery.

But that’s fine right? One day of eating crap doesn’t have much effect on your overall goals when you’re so virtuous the other five or six…does it?

Well yes, apparently it does.

A new study suggests that just… Read the full story

Eight awesome autumn crafts to try with your children

It’s the most wonderful time of the year (Picture: kamisoka/Getty)

Leaves are falling from the trees, conkers are on the ground and it is getting darker at nights.

Autumn is here and it is a great chance to enjoy some seasonal arts and craft activities with your children.

While a walk in the woods during a bright and dry autumnal day is one of the best things in the world, let’s face it, this is the UK and the weather can be up and down.

But don’t worry, if you don’t fancy braving the weather here are eight autumn crafts you can try at home with your children.

1. Pine cone hedgehogs

Look at these cute little guys. All you need is… Read the full story

10 mums share their top tips for getting a newborn to sleep

(Picture: Getty Images)

It’s the one thing everyone drones on about when you are pregnant.

‘Make sure you get plenty of sleep before the baby arrives,’ and ‘sleep whenever the baby sleeps.’

You’ve probably got the message by now, but we all know that just shutting down your brain and drifting off is easier said than done.

9 easy way for new mums to make friends

And what if you just can’t get your baby to go to sleep?

We spoke to some mothers to find out their fail-safe tips for helping their little ones drift off.

Alex suggests you swaddle, and transfer the baby to grobagsRead the full story

New Orleans jazz funerals: Where life is celebrated through the joy of music

New Orleans remembered the victims of Hurricane Katrina with a jazz funeral (Picture: Chris Graythen/Getty)

Eggs and bacon; sun and moon; New Orleans and jazz: some things just belong together.

If the Louisiana city of New Orleans is the body then jazz is its beating heart. You hear it on every street corner and it has been exported around the world.

In New Orleans, jazz is a part of everyday life, so it stands to reason that it would also be an important part of death.

Everything you need to know about Taiwan’s funeral strippers

If you have never witnessed a New Orleans jazz funeral, Google it now. Better… Read the full story

Planning your funeral should be a priority and to prove why, here’s my plan

You don’t want to be stuck with a boring funeral (Picture: Ella BYworth for Metro.co.uk)

We spend months planning weddings but we should be spending just as long strategising our final day on earth.

Brits just don’t deal with the issue of death very well; stiff upper lip and all that.

5 reasons why everyone needs to start talking about death

Death cafes have sprung up, in an attempt to conciliate our relationship with death, but I don’t know anyone who’s been, do you?

My mortality issues are deeper than that, though.

I’m more terrified by the thought of having a boring funeral; one that doesn’t represent… Read the full story

Gin pong is finally here for a classier (and more alcoholic) beer pong alternative

(Picture: gettingpersonal.co.uk)

As if we needed another excuse to get tipsy at Christmas time, we now have gin pong.

The geniuses who also stock prosecco pong have pulled it out of the bag for lovers of the hottest tipple in town, with a classy alternative to the ubiquitous American drinking game.

It’s made by Getting Personal, and comes with four citrus coloured balls and a set of twelve art deco style tumblers in green and gold.

That’s right – this ain’t no trashy pre-drink set. This is decent, relatively attractive and has the potential to be disastrously potent. What isn’t there to love?

This couple sold all their possessions to live in a converted van

(Picture: Collect/PA Real Life)

Many of us are completely wedded to our home comforts. 

Go out without a phone? You’d rather die. Get rid of your queen-sized mattress with its zillions of furry throws? Never!

It’s definitely a scary thought – not having all the possessions and knick-knacks that we feel like we ‘need’ around us.

Alex and Sara James did exactly that, though, and sold up everything they had to go on an amazing adventure in a souped-up van.

Alex’s dad Gary Calkins fell ill two years ago, being diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers at just 61. This prompted a change of viewpoint for the couple, who previously worked as web entrepreneurs.

Read the full story

Dating someone with a fetish when you don’t have one

(Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro.co.uk)

As you may have seen from our A to Z of fetishes series, there is a huge spectrum of kinks out there.

Where you might be into a fumble on the couch, your new partner might be fingering the ball-gag they’ve hidden under a cushion, wondering about the right time to approach the topic.

There’s a big gap between missionary with the lights off and latex at dawn, which means there’s a hell of a lot of wiggle room for both of you to try new things. But, if your sexual tastes are wildly differing, it can cause friction in your relationship.

If you’re worried you’re… Read the full story

What to do if you get a sex toy stuck in your vagina

Awkward… (Picture: Irene Palacio)

We live in a golden age of sex toys.

From vibrators to violators, rabbits to rings, there is a plethora to suit every taste.

Eye-opening advice about what to do if you get a sex toy stuck in your rear

So let’s not get carried away and lose our favourite friend inside our own vajayjay.

You may laugh, but it has happened.

You can get a little carried away, and the next minute you’re on the internet looking for articles titled, I don’t know, something along the lines of, ‘What to do if you get a sex toy stuck in your vagina.’

It’s… Read the full story

People are rightfully outraged over this ‘racist’ Dove Facebook ad

(Picture: Habeeb_Akande/Twitter)

When it comes to beauty advertising, there are certain things all brands should avoid.

The most obvious would be to use a black person to depict feeling dirty and a white person to symbolise feeling clean.

That’s just common sense.

No one in their right mind would equate blackness with dirt…oh wait, apart from Dove’s marketing team.

Yep, Dove – the most loving of soap brands – has had to apologise for their latest Facebook ad campaign which showed a beautiful black woman peeling off her T-shirt to reveal the white woman underneath her skin, brought out thanks to some Dove lotion.

It’s official: You really don’t have to run to train for a half marathon

metro illustrations
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

So, you’ve always wanted to tick a half marathon off your bucket list but don’t particularly like the idea for training for one.

Understandable. We’re all busy and we’re all quite fond of our knee cartilage.

They say the hardest part of a marathon is training for a marathon and that’s certainly true; getting your body ready to take on 23.1 miles is honestly one of the most gruelling things you can put yourself through.

If you don’t do it properly, you end up in all sorts of trouble. The smallest knee niggle can result in you hobbling around like an 80-year-old for weeks – if not months – at… Read the full story

All the one night stands you’ll ever have

metro illustrations
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

It’s Sunday, and that means a proportion of you woke up in bed with a stranger this morning.

It happens and a one night stand can be an exhilarating and ego-boosting activity, even if you end up having to do a walk of shame.

In 2017, we’re a sex-positive bunch, so there’s no actual shame here for having a cheeky one-nighter. It does mean, though, that you often meet some people who you might not be regular bedfellows with.

Here are all the people you might encounter on your sexy travels:

The drunken one

You wake up with a dry mouth in an unfamiliar bed. Your blood seems to be 80% rum and… Read the full story

If you’re dealing with menopause symptoms, there’s a beer that might help

(Picture: Portsmouth Brewery)

The menopause can be a difficult time for many women.

The hot flushes, the weight gain, the mood swings. It’s like your body is trying to fight you – and for what? At least when you were pregnant, you got a reward at the end of it. This particular battle just ends in feeling quite tired and very, very sweaty.

And while there are therapies out there that can help, they don’t entirely rid you of the symptoms.

If only there was a delicious and intoxicating drink around which could cool you down and feel a little more normal.

Cue: Libeeration.

How getting arthritis at 28 changed my relationship with my body

I felt my body had betrayed me (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

It’s hard not to feel betrayed by your body when it decides to give you a degenerative condition when you’re 28.

Obviously, compared to many other people with far worse conditions, I’ve got it easy.

Living with arthritis – What is it, who can get it and how can you treat it?

The worst thing my condition gives me is pain and reduced movement – it’s not going to kill me.

But, let’s be honest, no-one wants pain and reduced movement when they’re in their late 20s. It’s not a barrel of laughs.

And, with… Read the full story

The definitive ranking of curries from worst to best just in time for National Curry Week

Where does your favourite rank? (Picture: Getty)

Us Brits have a great fondness for curries, but sadly not all are created equally as yummy.

Just one day of binge eating can screw with your body

When it comes to takeaways or going for an exotic themed meal, a curry is definitely the best option out there.

And while there are some tasty options to get stuck into such as the explosion of flavour that is a Chicken Tikka Masala there are also some vile concoctions such as Aloo Gobi and Fish Curry.

Here is the definitive ranking of popular curries ranked from awful to delicious.

10. Fish Curry

Read the full story

It’s tough when caring about someone means obsessively worrying about them


If we’ve had more than a passing conversation, I’ve probably thought about you dying.

Not in a plotting your murder kind of way.

It happens whenever you’re late, I haven’t heard from you, or you pop into my head for no apparent reason to remind me of the very fun fact that oh, everyone I love could conceivably be dead right now and I’d have no idea.

Once that thought pops into my head, it won’t budge.

I’ll be watching TV when it occurs to me: I don’t know what you’re doing right now. I haven’t heard from you.

Maybe you hate me.

Maybe something’s wrong.

But most likely, you’re dead.

And then, panic.

I think about calling you to check, but know I’d sound crazy. Social media helps to a point – you’re probably alive if you updated your Instagram story in the last hour, but if you’re not a frequent updater my brain will only use the lack of posts as a definite sign you’re in danger.… Read the full story

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