So I’m standing topless in a windowless, slate grey room while a man in black hoses me down with a high-powered jet of freezing cold water.
‘Turn,’ he commands in clipped Rhineland tones, and I’m duly hosed off from every angle.
No, I’m not investigating the world of torture porn, I’m at Healthouse Las Dunas, a beautiful spa in Malaga designed to help you lose weight – albeit in sometimes surprising ways.
Thankfully it’s not all cold water and paper pants – that was just the second half of my manual aquatic massage, which started off very nicely with a water jet pummelling my tummy fat into submission in a warm bath.
Over the course of the weekend, in which I lose 4.4lb, I… Read the full story