This is some kind of sick joke.
Because someone has decided to create this monstrosity that looks just like a pizza, heck it even comes in a pizza box and is delivered to your door, but it’s all trickery because it is not an actual pizza.
No stringy cheese for your teeth to play with, no fresh dough to caress with your tongue, no whiff of glorious pizza smell to let you know everything is going to be alright.