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Metro.co.uk: News, Sport, Showbiz, Celebrities from Metro

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    Sex bans
    (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

    Feeling like you want to break up with someone is agonising enough. If that person also happens to have depression, then the feeling comes shrouded in an extra jazzy cloak of guilt, shame, and feeling like you’re kicking The Andrex Puppy in the face.

    Statistics from NHS Digital suggest that one in six of us in the UK is struggling with a mental health problem at any one time (and that’s only those of us diagnosed or reporting it to a GP, so the real number is likely to be much higher), which means that chances of your partner having poor mental health are reasonably high.

    Ending a relationship is always going to be difficult, and if you’re ending a relationship with someone who’s depressed then you probably feel (quite rightly, well done you) that you need to take a bit of extra care when you bite the bullet, as your partner’s not exactly having a great time already.

    Feeling like you can’t leave them on their own when they’re already miserable, and wondering who the bloody hell’s gonna look after them once you’ve made a break for it, can all lead to you staying in a relationship longer than you truly want to, and ultimately prolonging the pain for both of you.

    So if you want to end a relationship with someone who has depression, how in fresh hell are you meant to do it?

    Amanda Perl from Counselling Directory has got your back – and she’s got qualifications and everything. She tells Metro.co.uk: ‘The main reason we feel guilty when wanting to end a relationship with a depressed person is due to over-identifying with feelings of sadness, loss, grief and emptiness. You may be recalling times when your own thoughts followed a downward negative spiral that made the world appear frightening and hostile, and feel empathy as you can’t imagine how you may have coped with a breakup when you were feeling so closed off to the world.’

    For Nirma* who broke up with her boyfriend when he was depressed, it went much further than that.

    ‘It got to the stage where he had just stopped caring about everything – including me,’ she says. ‘No matter how hard I tried to be there for him he’d just push me away. Once it started to affect my mental and physical health (I gained weight and lost hair) I knew it was time to call it quits.

    ‘His depression delayed my decision to end things for almost a year, though. I felt so guilty for wanting to leave for something that wasn’t his fault, and I was just trying to cling on to the person I knew he could be. I thought I was such a horrible person for not sticking by him, but I just couldn’t cope.

    ‘I recognise now that you really don’t have to suffer with someone to be able to help them. Because of my decision, we’re both in a better place.’

    But there are so many different interpretations of depression – it’s a sinister sodding beast that affects everyone who suffers from it in different ways, and can of course go much further than even what Nirma described. It’s possible for someone to feel depressed without feeling suicidal, but on the other side of this super-fun coin, they might well do.

    ‘One of the reasons people find it so hard to break up with a depressed person is the risk of suicide,’ adds Amanda. ‘Firstly, remember that if a person threatens to kill themselves, it is not your fault.’

    Unfortunately, this is something Katie* went through three years ago when she eventually broke things off with her boyfriend.

    (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

    ‘If anything, his mental health was what kept me with him,’ she told me, ‘because almost every day I’d be told that he’d have no reason to be alive if it wasn’t for me.’

    That kind of statement isn’t uncommon, and unfortunately, neither is feeling trapped in a relationship because you’re so scared of your partner hurting themselves if you leave.

    Once Katie ended things with her boyfriend, his reaction put her through hell: ‘When I did break up with him, he said “Well there’s no point me being here anymore” and was uncontactable for over 24 hours. I thought he’d done something terrible and it absolutely destroyed me.

    ‘I thought I’d be held accountable for anything that happened to him, and when he finally got in touch I was so relieved, but so angry for what he’d put me through as I think he was ultimately just trying to spark a reaction from me.’

    Look, if you can’t cope with someone else’s mental health struggles, that doesn’t make you the devil. If their mental health struggles have got nothing to do with you wanting to leave and it’s actually for other reasons, then let them know – you owe each other honesty, no matter how long or serious your relationship has been.

    Amanda suggests being hyper-aware of the language you’re using, and to ‘avoid arguments by showing empathy’. She advises: ‘Speak from the ‘I’, e.g., “I’m unhappy in this relationship and yet sad to hear that you are feeling this way. I want to make sure you know that I still care about you although the relationship is over. I know you have a lot to offer someone else”.

    ‘Remind them to seek support by naming specific friends and family. If they are isolated offer to signpost them to helplines. Perhaps they already have a counsellor? Then encourage them to use that space in which to speak about their feelings.

    ‘Stick to your boundaries and your intention and that way you will not be manipulated into going against your wishes.’

    It’s so easy to let yourself feel responsible for someone else’s happiness, and thus it’s important to remember that their depression goes much deeper than what you are saying or doing, and it’s going to be virtually impossible for the actions of one person to magically cure someone’s mental illness.

    Your actions will affect them though, of course, and the ugly truth is that ending a relationship with a depressed person has the ability to make their depression worse, so take extra care to be kind, supportive, and aware of support resources for the both of you.

    ‘My boyfriend was actually so understanding when it came to breaking up,’ says Nirma. ‘We spoke for hours about everything, and even though neither of us wanted to end things, we couldn’t deny that we were both hurting each other.’

    As someone who is both depressed (yay!) and has a partner (yay! Although, sucks to be them) I would naturally be upset if the relationship ended, and yes, the end of it would have the potential to make my depression worse, of course.

    But it all essentially comes down to needs; if my partner can’t emotionally cope with being in a relationship with someone who has mental health problems, then that’s not on them. They’re not being ‘the bad guy’, they’re just not able to function alongside that.

    You’re not being ‘the bad guy’ if you don’t feel like you can go on without any support, you just need to find it from someone who’s able to provide it without damaging themselves. Nobody can help what they need.

    Ultimately, anyone with depression who is looking for a partner will need one who can understand what they’re going through, and can talk to them about it so that they can both support each other in the areas where it gets a bit dark and sticky.

    You’re not a demon if you want to leave a relationship with a depressed person, as long as you do it in a thoughtful, careful and kind way. Don’t expect it to be instant, and be prepared to support them as you’re going through it together, not independently. It’s worth letting someone in their support network know that it’s happened, and to remember that you are not the sole person responsible for their wellbeing.

    ‘I phoned my ex all the time after we broke up, but he never answered,’ says Katie. ‘So I went to his friends. They spoke to him and kept checking up on him. I just needed to know he was ok.

    ‘I felt awful and to blame for a long, long time, but as time’s passed I realise that I wasn’t at fault, and that I should have ended things sooner. I was just too scared about what he might have done.’

    It can be draining to be with someone who’s depressed, as your needs and emotions can often feel squashed and minimised in comparison. As long as you’re empathetic to how this will affect them, you need to remind yourself of the positive ways it will also affect you.

    You’re not abandoning someone at their greatest time of need, you’re doing what’s best for you both.

    Also, you might be a twat and they might be relieved. You never know.

    To talk about mental health in a private, judgement-free zone, join our Mentally Yours Facebook group.

    Need support? Contact the Samaritans

    For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.

    MORE: Should you pop beta-blockers for first date nerves?

    MORE: Embrace the Danish concept of ‘pyt’ to deal with daily stresses

    MORE: Photographer mum captures incredible photos of her own son’s birth


    Sex bansSex bans

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    Quiz
    (Picture: Riddle.com/Gola)

    It’s only natural that certain items, especially gadgets and artists, become forgotten about (or less famous) as time goes on and new generations are born.

    Some millennials have been put to shame by this quiz, designed by Gola, which found that only 50% of them knew what a VHS tape is (if you don’t know either, we won’t spoil the fun for you).

    Take the test below and find out if you’ve got enough skills about the 70s – from technology to music – to pass.

    No cheating, so close your other tabs now.

    1. {{::$index + 1}} {{::question.title}}

      {{::question.imageCredits}}
    {{vm.result.intro}}
    {{vm.scored}}/{{vm.data.questions.length}}
    {{vm.result.text}}

    Share your results

    Try again

    MORE: How well do you know Les Miserables? Take our quiz to test your musical knowledge

    MORE: Women start turning into their mums when they hit 33, says poll

    MORE: People tell us the heartbreaking stories of why they broke up with their best friend


    Can you name these 70s itemsCan you name these 70s items

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    **MANDATORY CREDIT* PIC BY DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS - (Pictured: Hamburger Helper) - This one-of-a-kind photography performance project has seen an artists alter ego create a series of surreal and wild self-portraits - where everyday objects are stuck all over his face. The absurd works of David Henry Nobody Jr. feature face attachments ranging from ice creams and toothbrushes to hamburger meat and even pictures of Donald Trump. Not stopping with those additions, David Nobody - the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr. - has even included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plastic toys in his face shots. To date, David estimates he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style since starting the project in 2014. - SEE CATERS COPY
    (Picture: DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS)

    Art can be confusing.

    We might not *get* it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t art. If it means something to the creator, or to the people that look at it, then, well, that’s art.

    Bear that in mind as we introduce you to David Henry Nobody Jr, an artist who creates self-portraits.

    These self-portraits are a little different to your average bit of photography.

    Rather than posing naked or among some leaves, David likes to pose with food, rubbish, or other everyday objects stuck all over his face.

    Why? We truly don’t know. Let’s just go with it.

    David Nobody, who is the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr, started the project back 2014, and says he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style.

    ‘I have a history of working in character – much like a writer would write in character,’ says the artist.

    **MANDATORY CREDIT* PIC BY DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS - (Pictured: Meatballs and Mash) - This one-of-a-kind photography performance project has seen an artists alter ego create a series of surreal and wild self-portraits - where everyday objects are stuck all over his face. The absurd works of David Henry Nobody Jr. feature face attachments ranging from ice creams and toothbrushes to hamburger meat and even pictures of Donald Trump. Not stopping with those additions, David Nobody - the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr. - has even included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plastic toys in his face shots. To date, David estimates he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style since starting the project in 2014. - SEE CATERS COPY
    (Picture: DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS)

    ‘I morph my identity into the things around me.

    ‘I’m definitely not afraid to be cheesy and enjoy using humour.

    ‘I get a lot of positive responses – some negative.

    ‘I think for a lot of people, we live in a more cookie cutter reality, and this work shows young people they don’t have to follow that.’

    Sure.

    There is a deeper meaning to the works than just putting sausages on his face, apparently.

    David says the portraits are a take on consumerist society, sourcing objects from Craigslist, friends, local charity shops, dumpsters, and dollar stores.

    Perhaps you find some profound purpose in the works. Maybe you’ll take some selfie inspiration from them. Whatever your reaction, you can enjoy the images below.

    **MANDATORY CREDIT* PIC BY DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS - (Pictured: Cheetos Trump) - This one-of-a-kind photography performance project has seen an artists alter ego create a series of surreal and wild self-portraits - where everyday objects are stuck all over his face. The absurd works of David Henry Nobody Jr. feature face attachments ranging from ice creams and toothbrushes to hamburger meat and even pictures of Donald Trump. Not stopping with those additions, David Nobody - the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr. - has even included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plastic toys in his face shots. To date, David estimates he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style since starting the project in 2014. - SEE CATERS COPY
    Cheetos Trump (Picture: DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS)
    **MANDATORY CREDIT* PIC BY DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS - (Pictured: Fragmenting Head in The Red) - This one-of-a-kind photography performance project has seen an artists alter ego create a series of surreal and wild self-portraits - where everyday objects are stuck all over his face. The absurd works of David Henry Nobody Jr. feature face attachments ranging from ice creams and toothbrushes to hamburger meat and even pictures of Donald Trump. Not stopping with those additions, David Nobody - the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr. - has even included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plastic toys in his face shots. To date, David estimates he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style since starting the project in 2014. - SEE CATERS COPY
    Fragmenting Head in The Red (Picture: DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS)
    **MANDATORY CREDIT* PIC BY DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS - (Pictured: Korn ManJPG) - This one-of-a-kind photography performance project has seen an artists alter ego create a series of surreal and wild self-portraits - where everyday objects are stuck all over his face. The absurd works of David Henry Nobody Jr. feature face attachments ranging from ice creams and toothbrushes to hamburger meat and even pictures of Donald Trump. Not stopping with those additions, David Nobody - the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr. - has even included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plastic toys in his face shots. To date, David estimates he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style since starting the project in 2014. - SEE CATERS COPY
    Korn Man (Picture: DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS)
    **MANDATORY CREDIT* PIC BY DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS - (Pictured: Plastic Surgery Disasters) - This one-of-a-kind photography performance project has seen an artists alter ego create a series of surreal and wild self-portraits - where everyday objects are stuck all over his face. The absurd works of David Henry Nobody Jr. feature face attachments ranging from ice creams and toothbrushes to hamburger meat and even pictures of Donald Trump. Not stopping with those additions, David Nobody - the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr. - has even included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plastic toys in his face shots. To date, David estimates he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style since starting the project in 2014. - SEE CATERS COPY
    Plastic Surgery Disasters (Picture: DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS)
    **MANDATORY CREDIT* PIC BY DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS - (Pictured: Vehicles of Collusion) - This one-of-a-kind photography performance project has seen an artists alter ego create a series of surreal and wild self-portraits - where everyday objects are stuck all over his face. The absurd works of David Henry Nobody Jr. feature face attachments ranging from ice creams and toothbrushes to hamburger meat and even pictures of Donald Trump. Not stopping with those additions, David Nobody - the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr. - has even included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plastic toys in his face shots. To date, David estimates he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style since starting the project in 2014. - SEE CATERS COPY
    Vehicles of Collusion (Picture: DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS)
    **MANDATORY CREDIT* PIC BY DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS - (Pictured: Coming Apart At The Seems so It Seams) - This one-of-a-kind photography performance project has seen an artists alter ego create a series of surreal and wild self-portraits - where everyday objects are stuck all over his face. The absurd works of David Henry Nobody Jr. feature face attachments ranging from ice creams and toothbrushes to hamburger meat and even pictures of Donald Trump. Not stopping with those additions, David Nobody - the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr. - has even included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plastic toys in his face shots. To date, David estimates he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style since starting the project in 2014. - SEE CATERS COPY
    Coming Apart At The Seems so It Seams (Picture: DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS)
    **MANDATORY CREDIT* PIC BY DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS - (Pictured: Painted Into A Corner) - This one-of-a-kind photography performance project has seen an artists alter ego create a series of surreal and wild self-portraits - where everyday objects are stuck all over his face. The absurd works of David Henry Nobody Jr. feature face attachments ranging from ice creams and toothbrushes to hamburger meat and even pictures of Donald Trump. Not stopping with those additions, David Nobody - the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr. - has even included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plastic toys in his face shots. To date, David estimates he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style since starting the project in 2014. - SEE CATERS COPY
    Painted Into A Corner (Picture: DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS)
    **MANDATORY CREDIT* PIC BY DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS - (Pictured: Schitzo Salad Man) - This one-of-a-kind photography performance project has seen an artists alter ego create a series of surreal and wild self-portraits - where everyday objects are stuck all over his face. The absurd works of David Henry Nobody Jr. feature face attachments ranging from ice creams and toothbrushes to hamburger meat and even pictures of Donald Trump. Not stopping with those additions, David Nobody - the creation of artist David Henry Brown Jr. - has even included peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and plastic toys in his face shots. To date, David estimates he has taken around 700 self-portraits in this style since starting the project in 2014. - SEE CATERS COPY
    Salad Man (Picture: DAVIDHENRYNOBODYJR / CATERS)

    MORE: People erect parades to praise the penis as part of Japan’s yearly fertility festival

    MORE: Photo series explores what it’s like to be non-binary

    MORE: Women with alopecia pose in stunning photo series to show that bald is beautiful


    Surreal portraitsSurreal portraits

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    A woman wearing a leprechaun costume attends a St Patrick's Day parade
    Just like St Paddy would have wanted (Picture: AFP PHOTO / ANDREW COWIE)

    St Patrick’s Day, or the Feast of St Patrick if you’re feeling fancy, is almost here.

    It’s a day particularly the Irish tend to be particularly fond of, as both Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland celebrate it as a public holiday.

    St Patrick’s Day celebrates (you guessed it) St Patrick, and the traditions of the day spread across the globe with the Irish as they immigrated through the years.

    The day has become a symbol of national Irish pride over time, but how did St Paddy’s Day come about in the first place?

    Here’s everything you need to know about this Irish holiday, from when it is, to why it we celebrate it every year.

    When is St Patrick’s Day?

    St Patrick’s Day is on 17 March.

    That means that in 2019, St Paddy’s day falls on a Sunday.

    A man, wearing a costume of Saint Patrick in a st paddy's day parade
    Parades and general tomfoolery are customary on St Paddy’s Day (Picture: CARL COURT/AFP/Getty Images)

    Why do we celebrate St Patrick’s Day?

    St Patrick’s Day is held on what is thought to be the date on which St Patrick died, and it was originally also the celebration of the arrival of Christianity to the island.

    St Patrick was a fifth century missionary and bishop who did much of his spiritual work in Ireland, and eventually became the island’s most well-known patron saint.

    The story goes that Paddy was from a wealthy Romano-British family, but was kidnapped as a teen and taken to Ireland to be a slave.

    st patricks day celebrations
    This guy’s got the right idea (Picture: John Rainford/WENN)

    Patrick is said to have been a slave for six years, during which time he found God, who told Patrick to escape captivity and go to the coast, where a ship took him back to England.

    When he was back in his homeland, he became a priest, and eventually returned to Ireland to convert the pagans there to Christianity.

    On St Patrick’s Day, Christians might go to a St Paddy’s Day church service, and, because Lenten restrictions are lifted on Saint Patrick’s Day, feasting and drinking Irish-made alcohol is tradition.

    Most people celebrate St Patrick’s Day with by wearing things typically associated with Ireland, like shamrocks and the colour green, by going to parades, and by generally being merry.

    It’s marked by a whole festival in Dublin, and this year, the London St Patrick’s Day parade is going ahead as usual.

    The parade is usually held on the weekend closest to 17 March, but since St Paddy’s day falls on a Sunday this year, that’s when it’ll start. It’ll kick off at noon and go from Piccadilly circus past Trafalgar Square and through to Whitehall.

    MORE: Nothing to see here, just some very good doggos celebrating St Patrick’s Day


    A woman wearing a leprechaun costume attends a St Patrick's Day parade in Central London on March 16, 2014. Some 400,000 people are expected to line the streets of Dublin on March 17 for the annual Saint Patricks Day parade. The parade is the culmination of a weekend of festivities in the Irish capital and across the country to celebrate Irelands national holiday.  AFP PHOTO / ANDREW COWIEA woman wearing a leprechaun costume attends a St Patrick's Day parade in Central London on March 16, 2014. Some 400,000 people are expected to line the streets of Dublin on March 17 for the annual Saint Patricks Day parade. The parade is the culmination of a weekend of festivities in the Irish capital and across the country to celebrate Irelands national holiday. AFP PHOTO / ANDREW COWIE

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    (XX) men explain what a blowjob really feels like
    (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

    Before we get deep into people’s sexual fantasies, some context.

    Earlier this week we shared the results of a poll. This poll explored the most common things on people’s sexual bucket lists – you know, the sexual things they want to do before they die.

    This poll said that the top fantasies for women were using a sex toy, sex in water, and sex in a car, while topping men’s sex bucket lists were car sex, sex in water, and anal sex.

    All of which are perfectly fine, but when we published this list we noticed an interesting reaction from the general public.

    People overwhelmingly said that the sexual acts on these lists were far too vanilla, and not at all reflective of what real people really dream of doing.

    Now, this makes sense – the poll looked at the most common sexual acts on lists, so the more out-there things wouldn’t be included.

    But we were intrigued: what sexual acts were these ‘most common’ lists missing?

    So, in the interests of sharing a wider range of sexual desires, we asked a bunch of men and women to anonymously share the things on their sexual bucket list.

    Some popped up on multiple people’s lists, while others were especially niche. We’ve popped every answer we received below in two big lists – one for women, one for men – to provide you with a greater insight into people’s fantasies.

    ‘I think a lot of these come from a place where men and women are taking more control of their own bodies and pleasure as sex becomes less of a taboo subject,’ dating writer Lauren tells Metro.co.uk.

    Sex writer Exhibit A agrees: ‘I think that control is facilitated by the Internet in general and porn in particular – awareness of ‘kinky’ sex acts is higher than it’s ever been, even among people who wouldn’t identify as kinky or overtly sexual.’

    So, what’s on people’s lists?

    Women share what's on their sexual bucket list:

    We asked women what’s really on their sexual bucket list. Here are some of their responses: 

    ‘I want really bougie sex, like somewhere really fancy with an infinity pool, where no one can see you but it’s in the open, and there’s champagne and nice robes.’

    ‘I want to try pegging, for sure.’

    ‘Double penetration.’

    ‘Sex with another woman.’

    ‘I love the idea of having group sex, especially if it’s with a load of guys and all their focus is on me.’

    ‘Trying chastity and orgasm denial with a male partner.’

    ‘I definitely want to try full on BDSM at least once in my life. I want to be totally submissive and get spanked, tied up, and have someone else totally in control.’

    ‘Having sex in front of a crowd.’

    ‘Going to a sex party.’

    ‘At some point in my life I want to have sex with someone I don’t know and have never spoken to. Just sex, orgasm, then we never see each other again. No need to exchange names either.’

    ‘Cuckolding.’

    ‘Giving a load of guys blowjobs in one night. Imagine them all lined up and going one by one.’

    ‘I’d like to try having sex in a sex club in front of other people.’

    ‘I want to have a holiday that’s pretty much all about sex. I’d like to go away and spend all day inside of a bungalow with 30 degrees outside and just shagging all day.’

    ‘I want a threesome with my boyfriend and another woman.’

    ‘Forced orgasms.’

    ‘I want to be really, really teased, with someone working me up but refusing to have sex or let me come. I want them to literally make me beg for it.’

    ‘There’s one thing on my bucket list that I have not done yet and every time I think about I feel disappointed in myself. I have never joined the mile high club. I’d like to achieve this win before I’m 30. Very important to me. It needs to be in first class, obviously.’

    ‘I like the idea of having sex outdoors but I hate the thought of getting caught.’

    ‘Erotic hypnosis.’

    ‘Rope suspension.’

    ‘Swinging! The idea of swapping partners is a huge turn-on, but I’m not ready for that just yet.’

    ‘Anal.’

    Men share what's on their sexual bucket list:

    We asked men the same question, naturally. Here’s what they said:

    ‘Being pegged while sucking another guy’s cock.’

    ‘Cuckolding.’

    ‘Obviously I want to try anal sex when I’m the one penetrating (I’m sure that’s on lots of guys’ lists), but I’d also like to try receiving.’

    ‘I’d like to be paid for sex.’

    ‘Ruined orgasms/chastity.’

    ‘Going to a sex party.’

    ‘I want to suck a woman’s toes. I haven’t felt confident asking anyone to do it.’

    ‘Taking part in an orgy.’

    ‘Making a sex tape.’

    ‘Double penetration.’

    ‘CFNM (clothed female, nude male) and beiung made to perform/masturbate for a group of women.’

    ‘MMF threesome with a bi guy.’

    ‘Threesome with two women. That’s top of the list.’

    ‘Sex with a total stranger.’

    ‘Dominating a partner with restraints, a spreader bar, and toys.’

    ‘Sex in a pool with other people around us, clueless about what we’re doing.’

    ‘I know MFF threesome is a common fantasy, but mine differs slightly – mine involves me having sex with my wife while someone takes me from behind with a strap on.’

    Anything major we’ve missed?

    MORE: Meet the man who orgasms from sliding metal rods into his urethra

    MORE: Men describe what an orgasm actually feels like

    MORE: What to know if you’re dating someone with depression


    i slept with my best friend and it ruined everythingi slept with my best friend and it ruined everything

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    ***EMBARGOED - NO ONLINE USE UNTIL 14:00 GMT - 16/03/2019*** Beth Spiby, 23, quit her job to become a webcam model, asking her mum Jane, 52 (pictured), to be her first photographer, and now earns around ??120k from it, pictured at home near Manchester. See SWNS story SWTPmoney; Beth Spiby, 22, used to work summers in Magaluf and winters at the gift shop at Marks until a colleague told her about selling naughty pics online. The former shop girl recruited her mum Jane, 53, an accountant, to help her take daily photos and videos - despite posing nude and in her undies for the explicit pics.
    Beth, in the orange, recruited her mum Jane to take naked pictures to sell online. (Picture: SWNS)

    Beth Spiby, 22, says she’s made £120,000 in a year selling naked photos of herself, with the help of her mum, who takes the pictures.

    Beth used to work summers in Magaluf and winters at the gift shop at Marks & Spencer until a colleague mentioned the money that could be made selling sexy photos online.

    That sounded pretty tempting, so Beth roped in her mum Jane, 53, to help out.

    Jane snaps daily photos and videos of her daughter, which Beth then sells online to her subscribers, who pay £12 a month for access to the explicit stuff.

    She’s already racked up more than 1,000 followers, meaning she gets more than £10,000 a month. Sweet deal.

    After getting more popular, Beth was able to hire a photographer to take her pictures as well as getting an assistant to post them, so her mum doesn’t have to spend all day directing her daughter. Jane will still be called on in an emergency, though.

    ***EMBARGOED - NO ONLINE USE UNTIL 14:00 GMT - 16/03/2019*** Beth Spiby, 23, quit her job to become a webcam model, asking her mum Jane, 52, to be her first photographer, and now earns around ??120k from it, pictured at home near Manchester. See SWNS story SWTPmoney; Beth Spiby, 22, used to work summers in Magaluf and winters at the gift shop at Marks until a colleague told her about selling naughty pics online. The former shop girl recruited her mum Jane, 53, an accountant, to help her take daily photos and videos - despite posing nude and in her undies for the explicit pics.
    Jane previously appeared on Shipwrecked (Picture: SWNS)

    ‘Initially it was my mum who took all the pictures – even the raunchy ones,’ says Beth.

    ‘It was in underwear and topless. It became more explicit the more comfortable I got.

    ‘When I first started she used to take them every day.

    ‘Whenever I need an extra photo she is happy to get the camera out and take a pic.

    ***EMBARGOED - NO ONLINE USE UNTIL 14:00 GMT - 16/03/2019*** Beth Spiby, 23, quit her job to become a webcam model, asking her mum Jane, 52, to be her first photographer, and now earns around ??120k from it, pictured at home near Manchester. See SWNS story SWTPmoney; Beth Spiby, 22, used to work summers in Magaluf and winters at the gift shop at Marks until a colleague told her about selling naughty pics online. The former shop girl recruited her mum Jane, 53, an accountant, to help her take daily photos and videos - despite posing nude and in her undies for the explicit pics.
    Now she works as a webcam model (Picture: SWNS)

    ‘Obviously she doesn’t do anything too explicit, because that would be crossing the line. It’s more the underwear shots with my mum.

    ‘My friends and family, they all love it.

    ‘If they need something paying for they only have to ask so nobody is negative about it.

    ‘They know I am in control of my job and I like doing it so nobody is negative.’

    ***EMBARGOED - NO ONLINE USE UNTIL 14:00 GMT - 16/03/2019*** Beth Spiby, 23, quit her job to become a webcam model, asking her mum Jane, 52, to be her first photographer, and now earns around ??120k from it, pictured at home near Manchester. See SWNS story SWTPmoney; Beth Spiby, 22, used to work summers in Magaluf and winters at the gift shop at Marks until a colleague told her about selling naughty pics online. The former shop girl recruited her mum Jane, 53, an accountant, to help her take daily photos and videos - despite posing nude and in her undies for the explicit pics.
    (Picture: SWNS)

    Beth set up her Only Fans page back in December 2017, and claims she made £10,000 in the first three weeks – so she quit her job at M&S.

    She now has all the time she needs to do shoots once a month in different outfits and take personal requests.

    Her assistant posts the pictures and replies to messages for her, so Beth doesn’t have to do much apart from pose naked, use and review sex toys, and do strip teases.

    Most of her thousands have been spent on clothes.

    ‘I think I bought the same pair of trainers in 12 colours,’ says Beth. ‘They were Adidas… They were awful to be honest.

    ‘I’m not one of them where I spend a lot of money on one thing, but I spend a lot of money on a lot of things. I’m constantly shopping.’

    MORE: Webcam model earns thousands of dollars a week on Snapchat

    MORE: Men and women share the acts on their sexual bucket lists

    MORE: Can you smell your way to stronger orgasms?


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    Modern etiquette; How do you talk to someone who is recently bereaved?
    (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

    It’s a sad fact, but the one thing we all have in common is that one day we will leave this earth (or, depending on what you believe in, be reincarnated or remain as a spirit).

    But what about the people we leave behind, the ones who have to deal with the loss?

    We asked people what it’s really like to lose someone you love, and how they coped afterwards – what worked, and what didn’t.

    From mums and dads, to siblings and grandparents, here are tales of loss to hopefully help others understand how grief affects people.

    And how to move forward from it.

    Pamela, 48, lost her mum when she was 22

    I’ve lost quite a few people in my life, including my mum who died when she was 47 and I was 22.

    I would say things that helped me get through it were doing routine things such as going to work and doing regular activities, things you normally do like exercise and listen to music. I also remember happy times with her.

    It didn’t help when people tried to avoid me because they didn’t know what to say, that hurt me more. I would recommend that you give yourself time to heal, take things at your own pace.

    Emma, 29, lost her mum a year ago

    The best piece of advice anyone gave to me after my mum’s death was just to ‘feel how you feel’. Other people seem to have a tendency – particularly in the immediate aftermath of loss – to tell you how you’re feeling, or how you should be feeling.

    Perhaps it’s out of awkwardness and not knowing what to say. For me, phrases like ‘every day you will feel a little bit better’ weren’t just annoying platitudes, but also incorrect. There was (is) no chronology to my grief, no rational system of ‘progress.’

    Even now, but especially early on, some days I could operate like a functional human being, other days I couldn’t get out of bed. Being told to feel what I feel validated my sense of utter lack of control and being at the mercy of emotions.

    For quite a long time, I had to just go with it, and find peace with that.

    Emily*, lost her dad on Christmas Day

    I lost my dad on Christmas Day when I was 16 and think in some ways I coped well, and in others not so much.

    My mother coped quite badly, so a lot of the responsibility for organising the funeral fell to me.

    As a 16-year-old suddenly feeling desperately helpless and angry at the world, this small area of control helped me grow into my new role as an adult and support my mother.

    Making the decision on important details like the flowers and coffin helped me feel closer to my dad.

    Also, they didn’t do it on purpose, but looking back when I started to rely quite heavily on alcohol as a coping mechanism, my friends didn’t encourage it but also didn’t really notice the harm it was causing either.

    If I wanted to party and drink they were happy to join, so it escalated quite a lot, and the thought of a drink started to become the thing that got me through difficult days or weeks.

    Losing someone you love
    (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

    Peter*, 31, lost his grandfather to cancer

    I lost my grandfather 10 years ago. We were extremely close and his passing was a massive shock after a very brief battle with cancer.

    In ‘dealing’ with his death, I basically bottled everything up and concentrated on being there for my extended family, never really addressing the loss and focusing on being strong for everyone else.

    In hindsight, this was the worst thing I could do. I started to drink more frequently and would go for an all-night drinking session at least once a week, usually more.

    These would end up with me being emotional about his passing, as the crutch of alcohol allowed me to actually address what I’d bottled up, but hardly in a helpful manner.

    My grandfather was very religious, and even though I never was, I would often find myself attending a morning mass straight from the previous nights drinking, which I’m sure he would have found hilarious in it’s stupidity.

    After a few years I was able to address the loss in a more helpful (and less alcohol-induced) manner and would always advise people to talk as much as possible, even if they don’t feel like it.

    Dee, 35, lost her brother and her mum

    I lost my brother in 2001 and followed the ‘stiff upper lip’ approach – which did not work and I learned from it a lot.

    10 years later, I had a lot of counselling which essentially saved me.

    When my mum died in 2014, I booked counselling immediately and although the experience was and is incredibly painful, I feel I have dealt with the process far better than previously.

    Jo, 26, lost her dad when she was seven years old

    I lost my dad from a stroke when I was seven, so I know what it’s like to deal with loss at a young age. I’ve also lost all my grandparents and they died during some of the most stressful periods of my life.

    Loss isn’t easy to go through, it’s heartbreaking! But it does get less painful in time.

    I went to see a counsellor at the Wakefield Hospice with my mum and sister when we lost my dad. As a family we support each other and accepted that we continue living without my father. I remember having my first bereavement meeting and playing a board game, talking about my feelings and how I felt a great sense of anger and sadness for having him be taken away from me.

    My father was my best friend, he was the person who helped me become the strong person I am today.

    Peter, 19, lost his mum to brain cancer

    After the rawness is gone, there comes a long period of readjusting your life around your loss.

    When I lost my mum, I lost my rock. I felt incredibly lost in the world.

    People expressing their sympathy was all well and good, but it soon got tedious.

    If you really want to help someone: listen to them.

    Try to work out what that loved one meant to them and what is now missing from their life. Were they a confidante or an advice giver?

    What people are really looking for is someone to fill that gap.

    MORE: Modern Etiquette: I don't know how to talk to someone who is grieving

    MORE: How can a relationship survive grief?

    MORE: You can’t dismiss someone’s grief because they’re smiling


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    Jazmyne Futrell and family (Picture: Mixed Mom Brown Babies)
    (Picture: Mixed Mom Brown Babies)

    People are relating to this woman’s honest post about motherhood, hard.

    Jazmyne Futrell, a mum of four living in California and the blogger behind Mixed Mom Brown Babies, shared a photo of a moment of her life on Facebook.

    This photo captured the extent of a mother’s multitasking. In it, Jazmyne is cooking, breastfeeding a baby, and looking at a page of her son’s homework as her five-year-old daughter and three-year-old son play at her feet.

    Pretty impressive, right? Except as most mothers know, this is just par for the course when you’re a parent.

    Along with that photo, Jazmyne wrote a caption about just how exhausting being a mum of four really is.

    Jazmyne Futrell and family (Picture: Mixed Mom Brown Babies)
    (Picture: Mixed Mom Brown Babies)

    She wrote: ‘Friends with no kids: “you go to bed at 9pm? Girl I can’t fall asleep before 11pm.”

    ‘Mom friends: “you go to bed at 9am? Girl I can’t seem to stay up past 8:30.”

    ‘With four kids I’m way too exhausted to even think about having a life after dark and way too busy to go to bed at a decent hour.’

    After seeing that her photo and her words struck a chord, Jazmyne told Yahoo Lifestyle: ‘There’s so much to say about this photo.

    ‘I shouldn’t be cooking while holding my baby, my son has a ponytail because I didn’t have time to braid his hair, and my kids are on the floor.

    ‘That’s why I posted it — there’s not enough realness on social media.

    ‘I hope showing photos like this lets mothers know they’re not fighting their battles alone.’

    MORE: Women start turning into their mums when they hit 33, says poll

    MORE: Mum explains how postnatal depression left her hoping baby would die in his sleep

    MORE: Photographer mum captures incredible photos of her own son’s birth


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    Last time Deception Island’s volcano erupted was in 1970, so there isn’t any immediate danger of getting blasted out of the crater still wearing a bikini.

    The water temperature is more worrying: -1.9C, with chunks of ice bobbing around between the penguins.

    It doesn’t look inviting, especially with snow covering the perimeter and an icy mist rising from the surf.

    There’s a small margin of black sand, though, to strip down from three layers of thermals, gloves and waterproof trousers to just a swimsuit.

    Join the Weddell seals for a swim (Picture: Jen Mills)
    Why are we doing this? (Picture: Jen Mills)

    Welcome to the polar plunge: a rite of passage for anyone visiting Antarctica brave or idiotic enough to jump in.

    There are quite a lot of us fitting that description, ranging from elderly women in tank tops to a tattooed man who grimly waded in until waist height, then started doing butterfly stroke.

    We’re trying to achieve the bucket list item of a dip in the Southern Ocean. This seemed like a good idea from the comfort of MS Midnatsol’s bar, but once our toes touch the frozen sand, it suddenly… doesn’t.

    Nowhere on the White Continent qualifies as a spa – and if that’s what you’re looking for, then you need to go somewhere else.

    If you want the power of earth’s last wilderness, though, then you may as well go all the way and put your head under.

    Deception Island is a popular place for the plunge. Part of the submerged crater wall collapsed in a 10,000-year-old explosion, creating a horse shoe bay called Port Foster which acts as a natural harbour.

    Although there’s thermic activity going on (the continent’s only other active volcano is Mount Erebus), put aside thoughts of the Blue Lagoon.

    The surf right at the edge of the caldera is so hot you can see bubbles boiling up, giving off a sulphuric smell and sending clouds of steam across the ice.

    That gives a false impression, because once you wade in it’s well below freezing.

    The view from the beach (Picture: Jen Mills)

    I’d jumped off an ice floe in the Arctic in Greenland a few months earlier – which I assure you is not how I usually spend my weekends – but this is a different level of pain.

    I dash in (only sprinting will do; there’s no possibility of easing yourself in toe by toe) and feel immediate pain. The water is like needles, each hurting at first then bringing a creeping numbness, like the anaesthetic effect of holding an ice cube against your skin.

    It’s such a bodily experience of cold I can barely fight my way in further, against every instinct saying ‘turn around and grab the nearest waterproof jacket’.

    This was meant to be my Lewis Pugh moment, but I barely make it up to my neck. After achieving the minimum depth necessary to claim I had ‘swum’ in the Antarctic, I sprint out like a gentoo penguin being chased by a killer whale.

    Mist rising from the beach (Picture: Jen Mills)

    By the time I reach the shore, my toes have so little feeling I could have been walking on blocks of wood, and it’s hard controlling my fingers to pull my clothes back on (over the swimsuit, as taking more clothes off is inconceivable).

    All that’s in my head is that I now know what the start of frostbite feels like. I hope it’s reversible.

    My plunge partner had scared me beforehand with tales of leopard seals dragging swimmers to the bottom of the sea, recounting the story of a snorkeler drowned in 2003.

    Deception Island Antarctica
    The submerged crater of an active volcano (Picture: Jen Mills)

    ‘They are worse than hippos. They’re terrifying,’ she told me before we went in. ‘I don’t know if I’ll do it. They could take you down 200 metres and no one would ever find you.’

    It seemed a tall tale over Irish coffee in the ship’s lounge, but Google proved it 100% legitimate. Kirsty Brown died aged 28 while working as a scientist near Rother Research Station. Colleagues from the British Antarctic Survey colleagues managed to pull her into their boat, but she couldn’t be resuscitated.

    Thankfully we’re in the shallow end of polar swimming, so the deepest any seal could drag us was four feet.

    It’s an unforgiving landscape (Picture: Jen Mills)

    The real danger is the temperature. Cold water swimming is famed for its apparent health benefits, but it can also be fatal.

    The shock can bring on a heart attack, so the ship’s doctor is on hand in case of any problems, wrapped in a cocoon of waterproofs labelled ‘Medical Team’.

    He warns us not to leap into a hot shower immediately, because the change in temperatures could be dangerous. Instead, he says it would be better to start with lukewarm water and gradually increase the temperature as our bodies adjust.

    Do it with a doctor on hand (Picture: Jen Mills)

    I survive my 60 second immersion but have to lie down afterwards with an intense headache, feeling exhausted and sick.

    It’s a reminder that we are in a wild and dangerous place, thousands of miles away from the nearest hospital.

    In the cosiness of our cabin, it’s possible to forget that – but in the freezing ocean, it’s clear.

    You’ll gain a new respect for the Weddell seals and penguins spectating from the beach, while struggling to manage even 60 seconds in their habitat.

    Deception Island

    Used as a base for hunting from 1819, this is one of the few places in Antarctica where you’ll see obvious evidence of human activity.

    Abandoned whaling buildings (Picture: Jen Mills)

    Nathaniel Palmer is believed to have been the first to explore the island, which is one of the South Shetlands. In four years, he and other American and British sealers hunted around 500,000 seals.

    It was later used by whalers in the early 1900s, and old industrial buildings remain on the shore, along with the shells of their wooden boats. You can’t touch them as they’re fragile historic artefacts, but they make for eerie photographs.

    If your ship drops anchor in Whaler’s Bay, you’ll have the chance to hike up to Neptune’s Window.

    Looking through this narrow opening between pillars of rock, Nathaniel Palmer is said to be the first person to look at the continent of Antarctica

    How do you get here?

    I travelled with Hurtigruten on a 13-day expedition cruise to the Antarctic Peninsula and back. Our first stop was Deception Island, and we then went on to Half Moon Island, Cuverville Island, Orne Harbour, Neko Harbour and Wilhelmina Bay – as well as making a landing on the sea ice.

    MS Midnatsol docked in Whaler’s Bay (Picture: Jen Mills)

    As the weather can be so unpredictable, there’s no guaranteed itinerary, with ice conditions dictating the route. Deception Island tends to be a reliable stop, given its natural protection from the elements.

    Tour operators bring guests to Antarctica during the Austral summer, with most ships departing from Ushuaia in southern Argentina and sailing across the notoriously rough Drake Passage.

    You’ll need to make your own way to Buenos Aires (British Airways and Norwegian offer direct flights from London in the region of £500 to £700 return) and Hurtigruten arranges a charter flight to Ushuaia from there.

    Prices for ‘Antarctica: Highlights of the Frozen Continent’ start at £5,880 per person.

    MORE: Ladies, why are we so afraid of long-haul solo travel?

    MORE: Get paid £200 a week to travel the world – but Instagrammers have to choose what you do


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    (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

    If you like to smoke up before sex, we’ve got good news for you.

    A recent study has revealed that women who smoke weed or marijuana, ganja, pot – whatever you prefer to call it – could be enjoying orgasms that are twice as strong compared to those who don’t.

    Before you light up that spliff, it’s worth noting that the research only had 373 participants so a better orgasm isn’t necessarily guaranteed just because you add weed into the mix (and don’t forget – it’s an illegal drug in the UK).

    The report found that 47% of the participants were weed-smokers and out of these, 34% said they used it before sex.

    To measure the relationship between weed and sexual pleasure, the researchers from Saint Louis University School of Medicine introduced a Sexual Health Survey, which included a range of topics such as sex drive, lubrication and sex-related pain.

    It was noted that smoking weed can lower levels of anxiety and stress, and as a result provide a more intense orgasm. Another beneficial factor is that marijuana can ‘heighten sensations’, which further adds to the experience.

    In other words, you’re more relaxed, confident and your senses are on high alert.

    The findings were published in the journal Sexual Medicine.

    ‘It has been postulated that it leads to improvement in sexual function simply by lowering stress and anxiety,’ researchers wrote in the report.

    ‘It may slow the temporal perception of time and prolong the feelings of pleasurable sensations. It may lower sexual inhibitions and increase confidence and a willingness to experiment.

    ‘Marijuana is also known to heighten sensations such as touch, smell, sight, taste, and hearing.’

    There were major differences found in sexual experiences among the women who smoked and those who didn’t.

    But what are the odds that you’ll have ‘satisfactory orgasms’?

    According to the study, they’re 2.13 times higher.

    ‘Most women reported increases in sex drive, improvement in orgasm, decrease in pain, but no change in lubrication,’ the researchers explained.

    ‘Marijuana appears to improve satisfaction with orgasm.

    ‘Women who used marijuana before sex and those who used more frequently were more than twice as likely to report satisfactory orgasms as those who did not use marijuana before sex or used infrequently.

    ‘Our study is consistent with past studies of the effects of marijuana on sexual behaviour in women.’

    MORE: Couple have weed-themed wedding with canna-cake, pot bouquets, and a budtender

    MORE: Weed dick is a thing (and it’s ruining people’s sex lives)

    MORE: Weed-smokers have more sex, apparently


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    a saint patrick's day parade float
    St Paddy’s Day celebrations are due to start soon (Picture: AFP PHOTO / ANDREW COWIE)

    St Patrick’s Day, also known as the Feast of St Patrick, is a holiday particularly close to Ireland’s collective heart.

    As a public holiday in both the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland, St Patrick’s day celebrates Saint Patrick, a patron saint of Ireland, and the arrival of Christianity to the island, on what is thought to be the date of his death – 17 March.

    As Irish people immigrated all over the world through the years, they took the tradition of St Patrick’s Day with them.

    Nowadays, we celebrate St Patrick’s Day with parades, by wearing green and shamrocks, and by partying with our friends and neighbors.

    Christians might go to a St Patrick’s day church service, and, because Lenten restrictions are lifted on Saint Patrick’s Day, feasting and drinking Irish-made alcohol is tradition.

    If you want to kick your celebrations up a notch this St Paddy’s Day, here’s how you can with someone a happy St Patrick’s Day in Irish…

    Spectators dressed as leprechauns attend St Patrick's Day parade
    These guys have the right idea (Picture: PETER MUHLY/AFP/Getty Images)

    ‘Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Duit’ is ‘Happy St Patrick’s Day’ in the Irish language.

    It’s pronounced ‘Law Ale-yeh Pawd-rig Sunna Ditch’.

    Irish shouldn’t be confused with Scottish Gaelic – they’re both often referred to as Gaelic, but they are in fact separate Gaelic languages (and the Scottish version is pronounced gal-lick, whereas the Irish is pronounced gay-lick).

    So if you said ‘Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Duit’ to a Scottish Gaelic speaker, they probably wouldn’t understand what you were saying, as Scottish Gaelic is derived from Old Irish.

    Some other useful Irish phrases for St Patrick’s Day are:

    • ‘A pint of Guinness please’ is ‘Pionta Guinness, le do thoil’ (Pyun-tah Guinness, leh duh hul)
    • ‘Health and wealth’ is ‘Slainte is tainte’ (Sloyne-che iss toyne-cheh)
    • ‘Are you drunk yet?’ is  ‘An bhfuil tu ar meisce go foill’ (On will too err mesh-ka guh foal)

    MORE: Nothing to see here, just some very good doggos celebrating St Patrick’s Day


    A float passes through during St Patrick's Day parade in Central London on March 16, 2014. Some 400,000 people are expected to line the streets of Dublin on March 17 for the annual Saint Patricks Day parade. The parade is the culmination of a weekend of festivities in the Irish capital and across the country to celebrate Irelands national holiday.  AFP PHOTO / ANDREW COWIEA float passes through during St Patrick's Day parade in Central London on March 16, 2014. Some 400,000 people are expected to line the streets of Dublin on March 17 for the annual Saint Patricks Day parade. The parade is the culmination of a weekend of festivities in the Irish capital and across the country to celebrate Irelands national holiday. AFP PHOTO / ANDREW COWIE

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    What does self-care mean to you?

    Fitting in a yoga class before your commute? Finding the time for a bath and a face mask after a tough week? Going for a run when you’re stressed?

    Well, if you want to seriously level up your wellness then you might have to go a little further afield.

    How does the tropical island of Mauritius sound?

    Over a century ago, Mark Twain wrote: ‘Mauritius was made first, and then heaven, and that heaven was copied after Mauritius.’

    Having spent a week experiencing luxury health and fitness facilities against a backdrop that can only be described as paradise, I have to admit that the iconic writer’s words still ring true.

    Heritage Le Telfair Golf & Wellness Resort in the Bel Ombre region of Mauritius offers a luxurious package that allows you to experience the natural resources that the island has to offer in a ridiculously decadent setting.

    And your wellness needs will be catered for from the moment you step off the plane. This is relaxation like I have never known it.

    Heritage Le Telfair Resort in Mauritius
    The beach-front rooms (Picture: Natalie Morris/Metro.co.uk)

    Jet lag… What jet lag?

    Apparently jet lag doesn’t exist in the world of luxury wellness.

    Mauritius is only four hours ahead of the UK, so any affects that you feel from the journey won’t be that debilitating – but travelling still takes its toll, and a 12-hour direct flight can be tough on the body.

    Le Telfair has thought about this. The moment you arrive you have the option of booking a specially designed anti-jet-lag massage treatment in the on-site spa, which includes a wellness consultation, and chakra analysis.

    Once any weaknesses or imbalances have been identified, the treatment – which involves massage, oils, aromas and colour therapy – aims to re-balance and re-energise, allowing your body to shake off the stiffness and dehydration of long-haul travel.

    Wild wellness

    The resort itself is stunning. The rooms and grounds are immaculate and sprawling, with pools around every corner, direct access to private beaches and lush greenery everywhere you look.

    But you don’t travel all the way to Mauritius to stay in one spot. (Although if I had the right book and a couple of cocktails, I definitely could).

    There is something about being in nature that is instantly calming. If you live in one of the UK’s concrete jungle cities, wide expanses of open space are a rarity and the chance to take in unencumbered views and breath in pollution-free air can be transformative.

    The enormous site at Le Telfair includes the Heritage Nature Reserve – 1,300 hectares of untouched natural beauty – a mere minutes’ drive from the resort entrance.

    Stopping at a waterfall during a forest bathing session
    Stopping at a waterfall during a Forest Bathing session (Picture: Natalie Morris/Metro.co.uk)

    Guests can take part in Forest Bathing sessions – a therapeutic experience that allows you to soak up the sights, scents and sounds of the forest. It is an utter masterclass in mindfulness and is slightly more soothing than attempting to meditate in your living room.

    The resort’s Reiki Master leads the slow, meditative experience – the point is to promote peace of mind and help you reconnect with nature.

    Other wild wellness activities include the Nature Wellness Walk which allows you to explore the forest and learn about its unique biodiversity, a Nature Trek which is a challenging hike or run through the hills of the reserve, and the Active Sea Walk Session – a vigorous walk against the current while soaking up the benefits of the salt water and sea air.

    Visiting the Seven Coloured Earth
    Visiting the Seven Coloured Earth (Picture: Natalie Morris/Metro.co.uk)

    Fitness for every taste

    I generally need something a little more energetic when it comes to fitness. Luckily, there is a huge range of sweat-inducing activities to keep cardio-addicts like me happy. Most of which are included in the price of your room.

    There’s a fully air-conditioned gym with machines, free weights and plenty of space to move – you might not find the idea of being cooped up in a gym appealing, but the moment you attempt running in the tropical climate and find yourself half drowning in the air humidity, you will definitely change your mind.

    There are daily morning and sunset yoga sessions – either in the spa or on the beach – it doesn’t get much more picturesque than that.

    There are also facilities for stand-up paddle-boarding, kayaking, beach volleyball, football and three floodlit tennis courts.

    For an additional cost you can hire a personal trainer for your stay, organise one-on-one tennis lessons or private pilates sessions.

    Additionally you can rent bikes to explore the resort and the local sites of interest on the island.

    Sunset yoga on the beach
    Sunset yoga on the beach (Picture: Natalie Morris/Metro.co.uk)

    Holistic nutrition

    Holidays are about luxury and indulgence – but there’s something incongruous about focusing on your fitness and mental wellbeing without also paying close attention to what you’re eating.

    Nutrition plays a key part in your overall wellness, but at the same time you don’t want to spend your holiday feeling deprived. Le Telfair manages to get the balance just right.

    Healthy, nutritious options – alongside the more traditional, decadent options of luxury cuisine – so you can pick and choose.

    Freshly caught local fish with a vibrant salad for lunch – a juicy steak followed by tiramisu for dessert.

    The food was insanely good (Picture: Natalie Morris/Metro.co.uk)

    Or eat steak and chips for every meal – we are not here to judge, and you are on holiday after all.

    The key thing with nutrition at Le Telfair is that you are empowered to make an informed choice.

    On every menu at the resort’s 12(!) restaurants highlights the dishes that have been recommended by the wellness professionals – allowing you to easily stick to your goals if nutrition is your focus.

    The resort also offers an entirely hands-on approach to help you learn about local Mauritian cuisine.

    Going beyond a typical cookery class, the Garden to Table experience invites guests to take a trip to the resort’s gardens to pick fresh herbs and vegetables before returning to the kitchens for a professional masterclass.

    Flying with Air Mauritius

    Air Mauritius is The National Airline of Mauritius recognized as the leading Indian Ocean Airline 13 times in the last 16 years. They are the only airline to fly direct, non-stop from London Heathrow to Mauritius, offering both both Economy and Business class comfort.

    Their ‘Island in the Sky’ friendly service allows you to sit back, relax and enjoy a taste of Mauritius during your flight.

    They have recently announced the introduction of brand new Airbus A330-900neo aircraft on the direct service from Heathrow – available from April 2019.

    The new aircraft will offer full flat-bed seating in Business class, state-of-the-art on-board entertainment including WiFi, as well as advanced mood lighting and air management in all cabins.

    Economy class return fares start from £729 per person including all taxes and charges, but look out for special fares offered from time to time.

    Business class return fares from £2,189 per person.

    Rates at Heritage Le Telfair start at £155 per person/night, based on two sharing in a Garden View Suite on a bed & breakfast basis.

    So this isn’t a cheap trip. For many of us a week here would have to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

    But if you have the means, I can’t recommend it enough.

    Modern, city living doesn’t lend itself to wellness. Mindfulness and inner-peace aren’t exactly easy to maintain when you’re crushed half-to-death on a tube every morning, spend your day manically answering emails and don’t leave the office until gone 7pm.

    Sometimes it really is worth extricating yourself entirely from the rat race and investing in your mental and physical well-being.

    A week of sunshine doesn’t hurt either.

    MORE: Ladies, why are we so afraid of long-haul solo travel?

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    Beautiful scenery in MauritiusBeautiful scenery in Mauritius

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    You Don’t Look Sick is our weekly series that discusses invisible illness and disability.

    Lots of people suffer from debilitating symptoms but when they are out in public, they are challenged when they use priority seats or disabled parking.

    Although they are disabled or suffering from a chronic illness, you would have no idea anything is wrong.

    Sometimes they are told ‘you don’t look sick’ because they don’t have any visible signs of being disabled.

    This series shows that they still face symptoms that affect their lives every day and how they are judged by other people.

    Metro Online - commission - Southampton / You Don't Look Sick / Vickie Taylor
    (Picture: Adam Prosser for Metro.co.uk)

    Victoria Taylor, 29, Hampshire, was diagnosed with asthma as a child but as she got older, it developed into a more severe type called severe refractory eosinophilic asthma.

    Although 5.4 million people in the UK have asthma, Victoria feels it is very misunderstood, particularly for the 200,000 people with severe types.

    She explains: ‘I wasn’t diagnosed with this specific type of asthma until I was 26.

    ‘The relief I felt when I was diagnosed with severe asthma was huge.

    ‘My asthma had deteriorated dramatically when I was 22 but I found it difficult to get healthcare professionals to take me seriously.

    ‘Severe asthma is misunderstood by the public and among healthcare professionals. It’s not just asthma that is ‘severe’, it’s asthma that doesn’t respond to usual medicines.

    Victoria using oxygen (Picture: Victoria Taylor)

    ‘Out of the 5.4 million people with asthma in the UK, an estimated 200,000 people have severe asthma like me, but it can take years to be diagnosed and treated.

    ‘Before I was diagnosed, my asthma was so bad I was constantly in hospital, but everyone around me made me feel like a hypochondriac.

    ‘I felt so embarrassed by my health I would put off booking an appointment with my GP.

    ‘Things turned around when a consultant spotted me at hospital during an asthma attack and diagnosed me with severe asthma.

    ‘After that I found a GP who listened to my every worry and who has gone above and beyond to help me.

    ‘Despite my diagnosis I’m not in the clear. I thought I’d be back cycling and running and chasing a career in medicine that I’d always dreamed of, but four years later my health is worse than it’s ever been.’

    Vickie has severe asthma (Picture: Victoria Taylor)

    To anyone in the street, Victoria looks well but her condition means she is unable to breathe properly, she has had to give up work and struggles to carry out everyday tasks.

    She says: ‘Looking at me you wouldn’t assume I’m ill – I’m not hooked up to an oxygen mask and I don’t use a wheelchair.

    ‘But I feel the effects of asthma morning, noon and night. I wake up exhausted because my asthma interrupts my sleep. I lie awake at night short with breath and often use a nebuliser to help ease my breathing.

    ‘I take fifteen medications throughout the day including inhalers, antibiotics to treat the side-effects from my inhalers, antihistamines to keep my allergies at bay, nasal sprays to prevent wheezing.

    ‘Despite my cocktail of drugs, asthma still impacts my everyday life. Walking the few steps from my bed to the sofa can leave me out of breath.

    ‘Getting dressed or loading the washing machine or dishwasher can obstruct my diaphragm and leave me breathless.

    ‘I’ve ended up in hospital because of vacuuming! Having to bend down to slot the plug into the socket obstructed my diaphragm and the pulling and pushing motion to clean my floor caused an asthma attack.

    Victoria in hospital (Picture: Victoria Taylor)

    ‘If I feel able to leave the house I don’t tend to venture far from the security of my home.

    ‘I’ve lost three jobs because of my illness but the stigma I receive as a result can be difficult to bear.

    ‘I want more than anything to work again but it’s difficult to find one that doesn’t require me to speak – as my shortness breath makes it hard – and one that doesn’t trigger my asthma.

    ‘If it’s a struggle to put on my socks, how can I cope with a full day of work?’

    Victoria’s condition has had a huge impact on her life but she feels others judge her because she doesn’t look sick.

    She says: ‘Many people don’t understand that because I might not look how they believe a sick or disabled person looks, that I’m perfectly healthy.

    ‘I’ve been called lazy for catching a lift even though if I tried to walk up a set of stairs it could trigger an asthma attack.

    ‘People think asthma is a condition that isn’t serious, but it brought me to close to death’s door multiple times.

    ‘Some people don’t notice me when I’m out but there have been occasions where people have stared and called me offensive names.

    ‘It’s happened so often that I don’t like to go out unless I need to.

    Vickie tries to enjoy days where she is well (Picture: Victoria Taylor)

    ‘I feel like my slow strolls and rests to catch my breath inconvenience those around me.

    ‘I try to make myself small to not draw attention to myself – for example, I’ll pretend to look at my phone when I’m struggling to regulate my breathing.

    ‘Because I don’t ‘look’ ill, countless people have confronted me when I’ve parked in a disabled bay. The only way to stop them accusing me to stealing a space is to show my badge and photo.

    ‘I’ve also been stopped when I’ve used the disabled toilets. Most people are apologetic when I explain but tell me they assumed I wasn’t disabled because I’m so young.

    ‘It can be exhausting having to prove my disability at every turn – just because I look ‘well’ and am young doesn’t mean I’m not sick.

    ‘My physical appearance has changed since I was diagnosed with severe asthma. Thanks to strong doses of steroids that try to keep my asthma at bay I’ve gained five stone.

    ‘My face is rounder and more bloated than it used to be and it can be embarrassing when I bump into someone I’ve not seen for a while.’

    Her condition has left her feeling isolated and although she has had a lot of support from friends and family, she struggles to remain positive.

    ‘Like anyone, there are days where I get frustrated and upset,’ she says.

    Victoria Taylor (Picture: Victoria Taylor)

    ‘I’ve spent my twenties in hospital and feel like I’ve been robbed of my prime.

    ‘It can be hard to stay positive when I’ve had years of treatment, but no drug has made a significant impact on my health.

    ‘When I feel bleak I use grounding, a mental technique that helps brings you back to the present moment and can combat anxiety and overwhelming emotions.

    ‘I’ll sit down and describe a room in my head in as much detail as possible, which helps clear my head when things get tough.

    ‘There are times when I need more support and my family have been a constant rock throughout this traumatic experience. I can turn to my mum with whatever problem I have and she also helps me around the house when I’m feeling ill.

    ‘I’m lucky to have a very supportive GP who I cry in front of. He knows how frustrated I am as we’ve tried countless drugs and treatments, but nothing has worked.

    What is severe asthma?

    Dr Andrew Whittamore, Asthma UK’s in-house GP explains:

    ‘We know that each individual with asthma can have different triggers and a different combination of chemicals in the blood and airways involved.

    ‘We don’t understand yet why some people get asthma and some people get severe asthma.

    ‘People with severe asthma have symptoms that are much harder to control because they don’t improve with the usual asthma medicines even when they’re taken as prescribed.’

    ‘I also turn to Asthma UK’s webpages and nurse-staffed telephone helpline for advice about treatments and symptoms.

    ‘Sometimes I feel like I’ll be like this forever, but I have to hold onto hope. In the beginning of January, a new biologic drug called Benralizumab was greenlit by NICE (the National Institute of Care and Excellence), a monthly injection that can help people with severe asthma.

    ‘I’ll be starting the drug within the next two months and, even though this will be the third biologic drug I’m trying, I’m hopeful it’ll make a difference.

    ‘So many people do not take asthma seriously because they might have well-controlled asthma or know someone with mild asthma.

    ‘This makes asthma seem like a trivial condition, but it is a life-threatening illness, and three people in the UK die from asthma every day.

    ‘Living with severe asthma means I have dozens of medications I have to take every day and every asthma attack could be my last.

    ‘Whenever I see a character on TV with asthma it’s used as the butt of a joke which sends out the wrong message. I wish people would take asthma, and invisible illnesses more seriously.

    ‘Not everyone’s illness is immediately visible. I’ve been battling to stay alive for the past few years but you wouldn’t know it from the way I look.’

    You Don’t Look Sick is a weekly series telling the stories of people with invisible illness and disabilities. Next week, we speak to Katy who has endometriosis.

    How to get involved with You Don't Look Sick

    You Don’t Look Sick is Metro.co.uk’s weekly series that discusses invisible illness and disabilities.

    If you have an invisible illness or disability and fancy taking part, please email youdontlooksick@metro.co.uk

    You’ll need to be happy to share pictures that show how your condition affects you, and have some time to have some pictures taken.

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    Metro Online - commission - Southampton / You Don't Look Sick / Vickie TaylorMetro Online - commission - Southampton / You Don't Look Sick / Vickie Taylor

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    The road to me becoming a sumo wrestler wasn’t exactly straightforward.

    In the 1980s I was actually learning Judo from a former British Champion, Tony Street. It was Tony who then took me to the local wrestling club in Greenwich.

    I was taught to wrestle and went on to get my black belt and win a silver medal in the English wrestling championships.

    But it all changed in 1992. The UK was invited to send a team to the first ever World Sumo Wrestling championships in Tokyo – and I won the selection.

    Sumo wrestler Steve Pateman
    I found myself in Tokyo, fighting against some of the best sumo wrestlers in the world, with very little instruction and knowledge about the sport (Photo: David Severn)

    I found myself in Tokyo, fighting against some of the best sumo wrestlers in the world, with very little instruction and knowledge about the sport. I beat an Australian and an Argentinian but lost to the Japanese competitor (and eventual winner) in the quarter finals.

    After that I was hooked. I defeated the then world champion to win the Swiss Open in Geneva and I won a bronze medal in the world championships at the home of sumo, the Tokyo Kokugikan.

    Sumo wrestlers (Rikishi) need to be strong, have a fighting brain and a good sense of balance, but determination is most important.

    In training you may get knocked down 50 times but you must have the desire to train harder and eventually beat those who have beaten you. Size isn’t everything but fighting spirit is.

    Traditional sumo wrestling artwork
    Size isn’t everything but fighting spirit is (Photo: David Severn)

    My daily routine begins at seven in the morning. I have a breakfast of six eggs and coffee then play a few games of chess before riding my motorbike to Clifford’s Gym in Long Eaton.

    As I get older I find I need a sauna, steam and a good old fashioned soak to recover from the weights.

    I have a carvery lunch most days and go for a walk afterwards, usually by a canal or through woods, which I find very calming.

    From four onwards I usually coach some youngsters with their parents for free – youngsters love to exercise given the opportunity and I never charge them.

    Derby City Council have been good to us and I like to give something back to the community. My gym has ropes they can climb, a climbing wall and those old school gymnastic vaulting horses.

    In the evening I let some older people train and from eight I’ll usually wrestle for an hour.

    Sumo wrestler Steve Pateman, at his gym in Derby, UK
    The greatest misconception about the sport is that you have to be huge (Photo: David Severn)

    The greatest misconception about the sport is that you have to be huge. Sumo does have different weight categories but when I beat the world champion he was 300kg against my 115kg.

    In fact, I’d much rather fight a heavier guy as lighter wrestlers are very tenacious.

    The best part about being a sumo wrestler, apart from competing, is meeting people. Not only famous people, but everyday people, young and old, who simply love sumo.

    I remember walking through Ginza shopping district in Tokyo and there were hundreds  of thousands of people milling around. Out of the throng this Japanese fan says, ‘Hi, Steve’ and takes me off to a very expensive bar where Gaijin (foreigners) are not normally welcome.

    Steve Pateman is a title winning sumo wrestler
    My strangest sumo experience actually involves Joan Collins (Photo: David Severn)

    I have met some famous people through sumo, too: my strangest sumo experience actually involves Joan Collins.

    I met her on The One Show and I can now say I’ve had Joan Collins give me a hand in putting on my mawashi – the gear that us sumo wrestlers wear during competition.

    It was very surreal considering I used to watch her as a child on those big American soaps.

    Sumo also really does take you places. I started in Stockwell and I have been to Brazil, Russia, Japan, America, Thailand, Hong Kong, Taiwan and many other places. It’s a great life.

    Any man or woman who wants to take up sumo can come to Derby and I’ll train them for free. All you need is some cycling shorts or a leotard to wear under the mawashi.

    Adele Jones, who I coached, even went on to win the silver medal in Japan a few years ago.

    Give it a go – you could surprise yourself.

    How to get involved with My Odd Job

    My Odd Job is a new weekly series from Metro.co.uk, published every Sunday. If you have an unusual job and want to get involved, email aimee.meade@metro.co.uk.

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    Sumo wrestler, Steve Pateman, for The Metro "Odd Jobs"Sumo wrestler, Steve Pateman, for The Metro "Odd Jobs"

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    Findings from The National Sexual Wellbeing Survey for Women Who Have Sex with Women
    We also wanted to create visibility in a time when WSW are often marginalised in conversations around sexual health (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

    Last week, the LGBT Foundation launched the preliminary findings from The National Sexual Wellbeing Survey for Women who have Sex with Women.

    Anecdotally, we know that women who don’t identify as lesbian, bisexual, queer or even questioning often have had sexual relationships with other women, so the survey included all women who have sex with women (WSW) and asked questions on behaviour as well as identity.

    The last known national research on sexual health for lesbian and bisexual (LB) women was in 2008. Lack of evidence is often cited as the reason for not investing in work targeted specifically at LGBT+ women and at a time when WSW are often marginalised in conversations around sexual health, more visibility is needed.

    It’s crucial to get WSW talking about the sex they like to have: why, how, with who, what they’ve been through and what they need. So what did the survey reveal?

    Firstly, there were some really positive messages: 81 per cent of WSW felt aware of the kind of sex they enjoy and desire, with almost 70 per cent feeling comfortable to communicate with their partners about the sex they want to have. When asked if sex was important, one person spoke about their relationship to sex and disability:

    ‘As a disabled person, being able to take control of my body through sexual pleasure is very liberating and helps me view my body in a different way to being this vessel that has caused me so much pain and discomfort, and allows me to see it as something beautiful and capable of creating great pleasure as well as pain.’

    There were some really positive messages: that 81 per cent of WSW felt aware of the kind of sex they enjoy and desire, with almost 70 per cent feeling comfortable to communicate with their partners about the sex they want to have.

    However, lots of the findings pointed to a need for more targeted information and support for WSW around sexual wellbeing.

    When asked how confident they felt saying no and denying consent, 21 per cent selected ‘somewhat comfortable’ but almost 10 per cent selected either ‘not at all’ or ‘not so much’.

    A third of respondents don’t feel confident about how their body looks during sex, with another third saying ‘it depends’. Reasons cited for changes in confidence include body hair; whether the lights are on or off; whether they have taken drugs and or alcohol, or feelings of gender dysphoria.

    Forty three per cent of respondents said that they had experienced sexual violence – a concerning prevalence. For non-binary people, this figure was 58 per cent, and for BAME women, it rose to 67 per cent.

    Despite this, 74 per cent of people did not access support and only eight per cent of those that did access support said it met their needs.

    There are a vast array of things that can affect sexual wellbeing, including having multiple minority identities. Forty per cent of WSW said that having a minority identity had affected how much they enjoyed sex and 23 per cent had felt discriminated against by a previous sexual partner.

    The second most important factor respondents stated affected their sexual wellbeing (after being a woman) was having a mental health issue, which was most prevalent for those aged 18-24.

    Just over two per cent of WSW felt that they needed alcohol or drugs in order to have sex, which was twice as high for non-binary and trans women.

    Critically, considering how important support would be in navigating all of the above, when asked ‘If you wanted or needed to, who would you speak to about sex?’, 17 per cent of respondents indicated that they had nobody to talk to.

    So what’s the next step from here? The most important thing is that the conversation does not stop. Some of the findings make for very challenging reading, but what they illustrate is that there needs to be need more inclusive, national data to understand these trends better, and more investment in and attention paid to the needs of LGBT+ women.

    Sexual orientation and trans status monitoring are absolutely critical in addressing the significant gaps in knowledge and evidence, as is breaking down responses to look at age and ethnicity.

    Sex and relationships education in schools that is fully inclusive of LGBTI people is similarly vital in improving the wellbeing of lesbian, bisexual and trans women. The survey showed that women who have sex with women prefer to access sexual health services in community and voluntary settings – the commissioning of these specialised services should be a priority.

    The needs of women who have sex with women need to be kept on the agenda, and conversations must take place if we are to move towards a more equal and more pleasurable future for all women.

    To hear more about the findings, or to find out how they can be best used to make change, please visit lgbt.foundation/women.

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    i slept with my best friend and it ruined everythingi slept with my best friend and it ruined everything

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    PARIS, FRANCE - JANUARY 17: A model,bag detail, walks the runway during the Louis Vuitton Menswear Fall/Winter 2019-2020 show as part of Paris Fashion Week on January 17, 2019 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
    (Picture: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)

    If you struggle to fit your lunch, drinks, cosmetics and grooming things, plus all the other weird stuff found in your bags, into your usual tote, then this oversized Louis Vuitton backpack might just be for you.

    Because we all know the struggles of realising we left our earphones (or another equally important thing) at home.

    But with this large carryall, which matches the grey fleece designs as part of the Fall 2019 collection, you’ll be sure to have every personal possession you’ve ever owned all in one place.

    It might even double as a sleeping bag.

    And, obviously, with a great label comes a great price tag. The backpack will not only weigh you down physically, but it’ll also weigh down your bank balance as it’s reported to be available for a lofty $10,000 (£7,508).

    Those with cash to splash might even want to fork out for the other items in the collection which include baggy outerwear and bulky trainers, marked with a jacquard print of Louis Vuitton’s signature monogram.

    To be fair, if you’re going to spend that much, you probably want people to see the logo a mile off.

    The product was debuted at the Louis Vuitton Men’s Fall-Winter 2019 Fashion Show at the beginning of the year and the bag is set to drop soon on LV’s website.

    Hopefully that gives you enough time to save £7,000.

    (Picture: Getty)

    If you don’t like all your bits and bobs in one big section (how on earth will you ever find that tampon?) don’t worry, the LV backpack comes with plenty of compartments.

    You’ll find many pockets and dangling straps, for aesthetics and functionality. The backpack also comes with adjustable pinhole snaps so you don’t have to worry about your bag being left open and someone stealing one of the 3,000 things you can fit in there.

    And of course, a heavy-duty silver LV logo will dangle across the back so people really can’t miss the designer label.

    If all that sounds too expensive but you still want a piece of the LV action, you could always opt for a designer Jenga set.

    That’s right, you can get Louis Vuitton Jenga, which comes with red, blue and transparent rectangular blocks, for a slightly cheaper price at $2,000 (£1,501).

    And it comes in a plastic see-through case with a brown leather strap so if you’re not a pro player, you can always just keep your Jenga set as a home accessory.

    Some of us can only dream, though.

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    Louis Vuitton : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Menswear F/W 2019-2020Louis Vuitton : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Menswear F/W 2019-2020

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    Giulia's Map of the world in her living room. MEET THE inspirational woman who after being thrown off a motorbike and breaking her spine experienced a twist of fate when she fell in love with her physiotherapist ??? and now they are traveling the world together and planning for a family of their own. Travel loving psychologist, Giulia Lamarca (27), from Turin, Italy, was involved in an horrific motorbike crash when heading home from work in October 2011. She had made the same trip daily for five years, but this time her motorbike slipped, which left her with a damaged vertebra, torn spine and the prospect of life in a wheelchair. Giulia doesn???t remember much from directly after the accident but recalls having foot pain, which started to travel up her leg on the way to the hospital and bright blue lights in her face when she was in the ambulance. Giulia was rushed to the hospital where she was told that she would need to have two metal plates and eight screws fitted to her spine to fix four vertebras in place. The surgery was a success, but she had to stay in hospital for a year to undergo two sessions of physiotherapy each day for five days a week to adjust to her life changing injury which has seen her use a wheelchair ever since. Despite her injuries, Giulia stayed positive during her hospital stay and would read jokes and smile every morning to help her come to terms with her new life. During rehab Giulia met her physiotherapist, Andrea Decarlini (28) and after spending endless hours together working on her recovery they fell in love and eventually married in March 2016. Giulia loves how different Andrea was to other men, finding him to be open minded, attractive and made her feel free again and as if she could achieve anything. The relationship blossomed gradually and it was a long time before they told each other how they felt. Giulia was scared to tell Andrea how she felt, but this was easier after she received a romantic post-it note from him confessing his
    Giulia had a horrific bike accident in 2011 which left her in a wheelchair (Picture: MDWfeatures)

    Giulia Lamarca, a 27-year-old woman from Turin, Italy, was on her motorbike driving through the same road she had travelled along over the last five years when the vehicle slipped and threw her off.

    The psychologist was left with a damaged vertebra, torn spine and facing the prospect of life using a wheelchair.

    Giulia was rushed to the hospital where she was told that she would need to have two metal plates and eight screws fitted to her spine to fix four vertebras in place.

    The surgery was a success, but she had to stay in hospital for a year to undergo two sessions of physiotherapy each day for five days a week to adjust to the injury.

    During rehab, Giulia met her physiotherapist, Andrea Decarlini, with whom she spent endless hours with working on her recovery.

    The two ended up falling in love and eventually got married, five years after the accident.

    Now Giulia and Andrea are travelling the world together and plan on having a family of their own one day.

    Giulia at Chiang Mai in Thailand. MEET THE inspirational woman who after being thrown off a motorbike and breaking her spine experienced a twist of fate when she fell in love with her physiotherapist ??? and now they are traveling the world together and planning for a family of their own. Travel loving psychologist, Giulia Lamarca (27), from Turin, Italy, was involved in an horrific motorbike crash when heading home from work in October 2011. She had made the same trip daily for five years, but this time her motorbike slipped, which left her with a damaged vertebra, torn spine and the prospect of life in a wheelchair. Giulia doesn???t remember much from directly after the accident but recalls having foot pain, which started to travel up her leg on the way to the hospital and bright blue lights in her face when she was in the ambulance. Giulia was rushed to the hospital where she was told that she would need to have two metal plates and eight screws fitted to her spine to fix four vertebras in place. The surgery was a success, but she had to stay in hospital for a year to undergo two sessions of physiotherapy each day for five days a week to adjust to her life changing injury which has seen her use a wheelchair ever since. Despite her injuries, Giulia stayed positive during her hospital stay and would read jokes and smile every morning to help her come to terms with her new life. During rehab Giulia met her physiotherapist, Andrea Decarlini (28) and after spending endless hours together working on her recovery they fell in love and eventually married in March 2016. Giulia loves how different Andrea was to other men, finding him to be open minded, attractive and made her feel free again and as if she could achieve anything. The relationship blossomed gradually and it was a long time before they told each other how they felt. Giulia was scared to tell Andrea how she felt, but this was easier after she received a romantic post-it note from him confessing his love. Famil
    (Picture: MDWfeatures)

    Despite her injuries, Giulia stayed positive during her hospital stay and would read jokes every morning to help her come to terms with her new life.

    While she was in rehab, she developed feelings for Andrea but thought they were one-sided, until he revealed his attraction to her in a sweet post-it note.

    ‘We started going out as friends, as I really needed to escape the hospital from time to time, and from the first day we went out together we have seen each other every day,’ she said.

    ‘I was too scared to tell Andrea how I felt, until I received a very romantic post-it note from him that read “from the person who knows you the most. I love you”.

    ‘He made me feel special, able and free to travel and go on.

    ‘My family and friends are very happy and supportive about our relationship because they can see how much happier we are together.’

    Giulia and Andrea on their wedding day. MEET THE inspirational woman who after being thrown off a motorbike and breaking her spine experienced a twist of fate when she fell in love with her physiotherapist ??? and now they are traveling the world together and planning for a family of their own. Travel loving psychologist, Giulia Lamarca (27), from Turin, Italy, was involved in an horrific motorbike crash when heading home from work in October 2011. She had made the same trip daily for five years, but this time her motorbike slipped, which left her with a damaged vertebra, torn spine and the prospect of life in a wheelchair. Giulia doesn???t remember much from directly after the accident but recalls having foot pain, which started to travel up her leg on the way to the hospital and bright blue lights in her face when she was in the ambulance. Giulia was rushed to the hospital where she was told that she would need to have two metal plates and eight screws fitted to her spine to fix four vertebras in place. The surgery was a success, but she had to stay in hospital for a year to undergo two sessions of physiotherapy each day for five days a week to adjust to her life changing injury which has seen her use a wheelchair ever since. Despite her injuries, Giulia stayed positive during her hospital stay and would read jokes and smile every morning to help her come to terms with her new life. During rehab Giulia met her physiotherapist, Andrea Decarlini (28) and after spending endless hours together working on her recovery they fell in love and eventually married in March 2016. Giulia loves how different Andrea was to other men, finding him to be open minded, attractive and made her feel free again and as if she could achieve anything. The relationship blossomed gradually and it was a long time before they told each other how they felt. Giulia was scared to tell Andrea how she felt, but this was easier after she received a romantic post-it note from him confessing his love.
    Giulia and her former physiotherapist Andrea on their wedding day (Picture: MDWfeatures)

    Since her recovery, Giulia has decided to live life to the full and travels all over the world with her husband. She uses Instagram to prove that having a disability doesn’t have to stop anyone from living their best life.

    Since 2011, Giulia and Andrea have travelled to 23 countries, including the U.S, Australia, Perù, Bolivia, China, and many more.

    Giulia and Andrea have a large map in their living room documenting all the places they have travelled to so far, and next on their itinerary is a visit to all Seven Wonders of the World.

    ‘I love travelling and I feel like a citizen of the world. I’m in a wheelchair due to an accident but above all I’m simply Giulia, with all my different facets,’ she said.

    Giulia atop Machu Picchu in The Andes. MEET THE inspirational woman who after being thrown off a motorbike and breaking her spine experienced a twist of fate when she fell in love with her physiotherapist ??? and now they are traveling the world together and planning for a family of their own. Travel loving psychologist, Giulia Lamarca (27), from Turin, Italy, was involved in an horrific motorbike crash when heading home from work in October 2011. She had made the same trip daily for five years, but this time her motorbike slipped, which left her with a damaged vertebra, torn spine and the prospect of life in a wheelchair. Giulia doesn???t remember much from directly after the accident but recalls having foot pain, which started to travel up her leg on the way to the hospital and bright blue lights in her face when she was in the ambulance. Giulia was rushed to the hospital where she was told that she would need to have two metal plates and eight screws fitted to her spine to fix four vertebras in place. The surgery was a success, but she had to stay in hospital for a year to undergo two sessions of physiotherapy each day for five days a week to adjust to her life changing injury which has seen her use a wheelchair ever since. Despite her injuries, Giulia stayed positive during her hospital stay and would read jokes and smile every morning to help her come to terms with her new life. During rehab Giulia met her physiotherapist, Andrea Decarlini (28) and after spending endless hours together working on her recovery they fell in love and eventually married in March 2016. Giulia loves how different Andrea was to other men, finding him to be open minded, attractive and made her feel free again and as if she could achieve anything. The relationship blossomed gradually and it was a long time before they told each other how they felt. Giulia was scared to tell Andrea how she felt, but this was easier after she received a romantic post-it note from him confessing his love.
    The couple atop Machu Picchu in The Andes (Picture: MDWfeatures)

    ‘Travelling makes me feel free, I feel “able” just like everyone else.

    ‘I want to say, that there are certain things that happen in your life that are not beautiful or very nice and it’s useless to always look for a positive moral in every bad thing that happens.

    ‘What will help is to rise up and live again and to say “things are now this way, what can I do to make sure I can do all those things I did before?”

    ‘Never let anything or anyone tell you something is impossible. I invite everyone to say as I say each morning “today is a good day and I will create the life that I dream of”.’

    Words to live by.

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    Inspirational woman who after being thrown off a motorbike and breaking her spine experienced a twist of fate when she fell in love with her physiotherapistInspirational woman who after being thrown off a motorbike and breaking her spine experienced a twist of fate when she fell in love with her physiotherapist

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    There were plenty of important and sweet posts shared on International Women’s Day.

    But you might have noticed one satirical video being shared of a man making ice cream in honour of the special day to celebrate women.

    Rob Huysinga, 24, from ice cream shop Pan-N-Ice was ridiculed on the internet for his long gazes at the camera while creating a Nutella and Oreo mix for ‘all the ladies out there’.

    People on social media weren’t feeling the video and its sensual nature, which featured him saying ‘ice cream makes you sexy’.

    Since the backlash, which has even left him with the scathing moniker ‘ice cream shagger’, Rob, from Berkshire, has told Metro.co.uk that he regrets the whole thing.

    Though Rob usually adds a similar theatrical flair to all his other dessert creations, he said he regrets that one as it was misconstrued on social media.

    ‘Upon reflection, with this particular video I have allowed myself to be misinterpreted and misconstrued,’ he told us.

    ‘The eccentric manner upon which I make the ice cream, right through to the introduction; the whole thing has been completely blown up and taken out of context. I would like to sincerely apologise to anyone who may have been offended by the video.

    (Picture: Pan-N-Ice)

    ‘Whilst I mention International Women’s Day, my intentions were purely to make the ice cream in a vibrant manner.

    ‘We make hundreds a day, and since beginning the business I have personally made 10,000.

    ‘I was simply making it more interactive. I am however putting my hands up, and saying I should have never allowed myself to be misinterpreted in such a way.’

    Rob started Pan-n-Ice with his friend and says it’s a fun and playful ice cream brand and has been since they started the business.

    They started in food stalls and music festivals and wanted to carry this energy over into their parlours, he added.

    ‘I initially started producing the videos of me handcrafting our ice rolls because I found that whenever I worked in any of our parlours, whenever I would be doing tricks and flicks, it would create a vibrant environment.

    ‘Our company stands for theatre, whereby we don’t just offer a conventional scoop of ice cream. For example, we often have saxophone players on the weekend and we even have a ball pit in our office.

    ‘It is this light-hearted identity and positive outlook on life which really sets us apart.’

    Rob also mentioned that he has plenty of other videos of him at work but was frustrated to see the Women’s Day one go viral and ridiculed in the way that it was.

    ‘What I find frustrating with today’s age is how the other videos of me having fun with customers or me in children’s hospitals never fully surface in a way this one has.

    ‘Instead, individuals look at where they can hate. This is something I have had to learn abruptly, and going forward I will ensure I am more aware of what I am doing in my videos and how they’ll be perceived.’

    Rob has since deleted the viral video off his Tik-Tok account where the video initially surfaced.

    He said he would be careful in future what he puts out there.

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    Ice-cream-2 (1)-91c7Ice-cream-2 (1)-91c7

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    (Picture: Getty)

    When we heard that a man wanted to name his daughter after his ex-girlfriend a few months ago, we were shook. Does he still love her, we asked?

    But apparently, men wanting some sort of connection to their ex-partners through their children is not a new or unique thing.

    One man has decided that he wants to give his unborn daughter a name that he and his ex-girlfriend picked for their own children.

    The man’s current wife revealed the whole thing on Reddit, horrified at the thought of giving their future daughter a name picked by another woman who’s had sexual relations with her husband.

    And to top it all, the name wasn’t casually suggested by the husband either, he was assertive and insisted that they call their daughter Addie Mae.

    The wife revealed that she had suspicions he was still in touch with the ex and so decided to go through his messages.

    She found that the pair didn’t have any contact but once she scrolled up, read the words: ‘If we end up getting married and having a little girl, can we name her Addie Mae?’

    The woman revealed that seeing those words devastated her. And we can see why.

    (Picture: Getty)

    ‘When we started talking about kids and names about two years ago, he said that he had a specific name picked out for a little girl,’ she wrote.

    ‘I’ll just say it’s “Addie Mae.” I loved the name and agreed. We both want a family, so “Addie Mae” had come up a lot in conversations as have ideas for boys names, number of kids, etc.

    ‘We are so excited to be parents so it’s not like we said it once and dropped it and never spoke of it again. We talked about it a lot.’

    She revealed she wasn’t proud of snooping through his phone but had felt he was lying about talking to his ex.

    The conundrum for her was that she wanted to confront him about the name but didn’t want to tell him she’d been on his phone.

    But seeing the message left her upset and wanting a new name, she said.

    ‘I am so devastated and really angry. He never told me that his ex-girlfriend came up with the name, and that was what they were planning on naming their child. I want to call him out on it, but then I would obviously have to admit how I found it.

    ‘I was so instantly in love with the name and I’ve loved it for the last few years, so to suddenly change my mind would merit some questions from him about why.’

    She asked Redditors what she should do and most recommended couples therapy and individual therapy for him.

    Others said seeing as the original poster isn’t pregnant yet and the conversation is around their future children, the couple should hold off making babies until they sort their relationship out.

    Sound advice.

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    Pregnant couple having tea together in kitchenPregnant couple having tea together in kitchen

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    When Tom Crutchfield met his now-wife Stacey, he tried to stay away from her despite their attraction. Mostly because he was 66 years old at the time and Stacey was 33.

    Stacey, a former medical professional, wanted a new career and came to work on Tom’s reptile farm in Florida, U.S, where the pair met.

    She had initially contacted Tom through Facebook in 2010 when her iguana needed help, but it wasn’t until several years later when she came to visit.

    Despite Tom thinking Stacey was too young for him, the relationship grew from a close friendship to a romantic one.

    Four years later, Tom, now 70, and Stacey, now 37, decided to get married.

    Their 32-year age gap, despite being an issue when they first met, doesn’t bother them anymore, even when they’re mistaken for having a granddad-grandaughter relationship.

    Tom, a retired professional herpetologist, said Stacey moving into the farm from her medical career in Connecticut is the best thing to happen to him.

    *** EXCLUSIVE - VIDEO AVAILABLE *** HOMESTEAD, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 28: Husband and wife Tom and Stacey Crutchfield, who have a 32-year age gap, share a kiss among their reptile enclosures on February 28, 2019 in Homestead, Florida. A MARRIED couple with a 32 age gap say that their difference in age is no issue. Tom Crutchfield is 70 years old and has been with his 37-year-old beloved, Stacey, for almost four years. The couple got to know each other when Stacey began working on Tom?s reptile farm in Homestead, Florida, where the pair now live and work together. PHOTOGRAPH BY Adam Gray / Barcroft Images
    (Picture: Adam Gray / Barcroft Media)

    ‘We know we won’t have as much time as some others would have together, but we will make the best out of whatever time we have,’ said Tom.

    ‘There is only one way to live and that’s a day at a time. I’m not afraid of dying, I’m afraid of not living enough while I’m alive.’

    But the pair revealed they didn’t feel an instant attraction but grew to be closer over time.

    ‘We kind of fell for each other over a long period of time,’ said Tom.

    Stacy continued: ‘First we were kind of against it because of the age difference, we kind of tried to shy away from it.

    ‘But we really, really liked being with each other and we started to have feelings and after a point, we just said “why fight it?”‘

    *** EXCLUSIVE - VIDEO AVAILABLE *** HOMESTEAD, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 28: Tom Crutchfield, aged 70, and his wife Stacey, aged 38, handle one of the many large snakes the couple own on February 28, 2019 in Homestead, Florida. A MARRIED couple with a 32 age gap say that their difference in age is no issue. Tom Crutchfield is 70 years old and has been with his 37-year-old beloved, Stacey, for almost four years. The couple got to know each other when Stacey began working on Tom?s reptile farm in Homestead, Florida, where the pair now live and work together. PHOTOGRAPH BY Adam Gray / Barcroft Images
    Tom works on a reptile farm where he met Stacey (Picture: Adam Gray / Barcroft Media)

    They now spend almost all day together, working with the thousands of reptiles on the farm, some of whom boast a famous profile, having been used in Indiana Jones films.

    Working together and living together can be a bit much for some couples, so Tom and Stacey have separate bedrooms and share one when they want to.

    Their families are getting used to the idea of their relationship, including Tom’s eldest daughter who is 11 years older than Stacey.

    Stacey’s parents, both of whom are younger than Tom, also had some reservations at first but eventually warmed to the idea.

    Though their families are now on board, they still get judgmental comments and assumptions from strangers.

    *** EXCLUSIVE - VIDEO AVAILABLE *** HOMESTEAD, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 28: Tom Crutchfield, 70, stands with his wife Stacey, 38, on February 28, 2019 in Homestead, Florida. A MARRIED couple with a 32 age gap say that their difference in age is no issue. Tom Crutchfield is 70 years old and has been with his 37-year-old beloved, Stacey, for almost four years. The couple got to know each other when Stacey began working on Tom?s reptile farm in Homestead, Florida, where the pair now live and work together. PHOTOGRAPH BY Adam Gray / Barcroft Images
    (Picture: Adam Gray / Barcroft Media)

    ‘We had a lady come up to us once and start hitting on Tom,’ said Stacey. ‘She said: “you have such a beautiful grandaughter”.

    ‘People mistake Tom for my dad quite a bit but I have just learned not to care what other people think. I’m not going to let them ruin the love of my life and being happy.’

    Tom and Stacey are enjoying their time together on the farm and say they have never been happier.

    ‘What really makes the difference is with whom you have the relationship, not how old they are,’ added Tom.

    ‘Stacey is beautiful inside as she is outside. She has a wonderful heart, she loves animals, she loves people, she loves helping other people, she means no harm to anyone and I love her a lot for that and she loves me.’

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    He?s Not My Grandpa, He?s My HusbandHe?s Not My Grandpa, He?s My Husband

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