Hello and welcome to another episode of Why Dating is Trash in 2018.

If you’re a single hetero woman on the dating scene, your Saturday night is likely to go much like this.

After a week of grafting a few guys on Bumble/Hinge/whatever hugely promising but ultimately soul destroying app you’re using, you’ve got a date lined up.

You down a giant glass of wine, put on your tried and tested date outfit and head out.

Jump on the tube, try not to sweat off your contour. Arrive on the date, awkwardly text your housemates absolute nonsense so you don’t look too disappointed that your date is late.

Dating App Man arrives and you’re pleasantly surprised. He looks a lot fitter than his pictures. A couple of pinots in, the conversation is getting decidedly more flirty and you realise there could be *potential*.

There’s definite chemistry, there’s flanter flying all over the place and there’s even talk of future dates.

Either you end the night at one of your places drinking leftover wine and doing ‘bits’, or it’s a quick peck at the bus stop. Either way, you know you’ll see each other again because the chemistry was great, and you’re not a total socially unaware idiot.

Plus, didn’t he mention doing something later that week?

And then it happens. Or rather, it doesn’t happen. He has your number and you await The Text.

It does not arrive.

Sure, you could message first but as any seasoned dater will know, some men scare off easier than a box of feral kittens.

So you wait and tell yourself you’re ‘playing it cool’.

A few days pass and you become acutely aware that Surprisingly Attractive Dating App Man will not be getting back to you.

You bitch about the demise of manners to your housemates over an obscene amount of pizza. You tell them that’s it, you are done with dating.

Don’t get me wrong, every date does not have to be a success and no one is *obligated* to send a follow-up text.

But being polite takes very little effort and, besides, isn’t it just nice to be nice? When did it become acceptable to send zero messages after a date?

‘I think people just can’t be bothered anymore and just take the easy route,’ says Vicky, who shares my disdain with modern dating. ‘In certain situations it’s far easier to ghost someone than come up with the reason as to why you don’t want to go on another date.

For Vicky, a noticeable trend is her dates not even bothering to take her number, let alone anything else, without explanation.

‘I think when you go on a date with someone/meet on a night out and they come back to yours for the night it’s common decency for them to take your number and at least say “had a fun night, nice to meet you” even if they then say they’re not interested.

‘But I’ve started to notice guys just don’t even bother to take your number.’

Elle echoes this depressing viewpoint.

‘Because of dating apps we treat dating like we are playing a video game,’ she tells us. 

‘It’s really easy to swipe through and match with people and then talk to them and because you’re never actually meeting a person face to face (or at least at first), you don’t feel consciously obligated to give them the nicety of saying “no thank you” or  “I don’t think this is going to work” so you just leave.

‘And for most people that’s fine when you just talk and you’ve never met but the attitude is also beginning to seep into our face to face behaviours as well.

‘If a date or the beginning of a relationship doesn’t go well you are always in the knowledge that another date, f*** or human connection is literally a swipe away so there is no real sense of wanting to make things work.’

When did we stop caring about other people’s feelings?

Psychologist Marc Hekster tells Metro.co.uk: ‘We’re living in the age of instance access, initial impressions, speed dating, superficial communications.

‘I think that perhaps this smart phone/internet inspired attitude is converting into human relationships now.’

‘We could think of this as a form of throwaway relationships, as if the intimacy has no meaning, and that there are no feelings involved.

‘Young people are growing up with smartphones in their hands, and this IS the new intimacy; it falls short though.’

So does this mean we’re essentially becoming less polite as a generation?

‘It would not surprise me to see that people struggle to know how to interact in an intimate setting and so may remain remote or detached and this may be construed as “less polite”.’

Hmmm. This doesn’t fill me with much hope. Here’s what real life men had to say on the matter.

‘I think men that do this are broadly divided in two camps’ says Freddie.

‘There’s those men with no regard for anyone’s feelings other than their own, seeing dating and sex as just another thing to have. They see sex as something they’re entitled to. For these men, not taking a number or not replying to a text comes as second nature.

‘The world outside their own narrow worldview may as well not exist; other people’s feelings live in a different universe.’

Yes, I’ve met a few of these. Please continue, Freddie.

‘Then there are the men who aren’t emotionless husks, devoid of all empathy. If, for whatever reason, they’re not into someone, they might think that texting to cut things off before it’s a thing is being too forward and unnecessary.

‘For these men, being ‘cool’ about things (i.e. not communicating) is so normalised that they can’t see the harm in it.

‘Not returning a text or taking a number might be, in their minds, just not prolonging a situation that’s going south anyway.

‘It’s probably best to be up front about these things though and be honest.’

Yes Freddie, that would be lovely.

And this is the main point of contention. If you’re not into it, why not just text and say something like ‘Hey, was really nice meeting you but I’m not sure I see us being a long-term thing’?

This happened to me fairly recently and although I was disappointed, ultimately I appreciated his honesty.

Getting straight to the point, George says: ‘Blokes will go on and date and not text after because they are simply not fussed about doing it again. They will know that it is the right thing to do to text and explain, but it’s the much easier option just to do nothing.’

Don’t hold back, George.

‘You never have to see them again, and everyone knows that if you don’t text for a few days then it means you’re not keen anyway. It’s cowardice really, just avoiding an awkward situation.’

But what if you have genuine chemistry on the date? That can’t all be in our heads, right?

‘Maybe they seemed keen on the date because they were a bit pissed and they actually were less bothered’ says George.

Wow.

So what is the answer? Should us women throw away the (extremely outdated) notion that it should always be the men who text first? Should women step up and make the first move (assuming they actually gave you their number)?

Lily seems to think so.

‘Absolutely, if I liked them,’ says Lily. ‘I wouldn’t always expect to hear from them first and if me getting in contact before them freaked them out, then it’s no skin off my nose cos they obviously have issues.

‘It’s about a 75/25 success rate in my experience – most men seem to appreciate the confidence it implies, so I’ll often get a second date/shag.’

‘It mostly works. Doesn’t need to be something devastatingly funny or contrived, just along the lines of “Thanks for a lovely date/I had fun last night/Everything hurts and I blame you.”‘

Side note: I decided to try this tactic myself just the other day. Following (what I thought was a successful date) I left it a couple of days and sent a similarly breezy text. He left me on grey – I repeat, grey, meaning he hadn’t even opened the messages – ticks for six days.

But wherever you sit on the woke scale, you can always be a victim of cesspit dating.

As Lily notes: ‘I do think there is less decency in dating, yeah. But I’m probably bad for it too sometimes. But I do have one basic rule that I’ll always tell someone if I want to stop seeing them because I hate it when someone isn’t that interested but just wants to let it fizzle out.

‘This has happened to me recently and it’s maddening. So I met a guy on a dating app, he was super keen, texting me all the time being like “oh you’re so great blah blah”, we met for a date, still seemed keen for a few days and now he only resurfaces every few days and it’s infuriating.’

Preach.

An important point is that women ghost too. Jess is one such female casper.

She tells us: ‘I ghosted a guy I’d been on one date with, and it’s something I’m really not proud of. I was new to dating and he was really sweet but we just didn’t gel at all.

‘He texted to ask me out again afterwards and I said maybe but ended up ignoring his future messages. It was selfish on my part as I didn’t want to knock his confidence and have to say there was no spark.

‘I got ghosted after two dates with a guy not long after that, and that was certainly a taste of my own medicine. It’s something I’d never do again and feel so guilty about.’

Not everyone shares the view that dating is a burning pile of trash.

Harry (who is now happily engaged and therefore an actual fountain of knowledge) says: ‘I think it’s reasonable not to text someone if you don’t fancy them, or vice versa. Maybe it’s different for women though because guys can be dicks, but I can’t remember feeling disrespected while dating.

‘I have ghosted someone and I’ve been a ghost. I felt like she was more way into it than I was, and I didn’t want to dump someone I barely knew – ghosting was basically the coward’s way out.

‘Plus I have a super hot fiancée now so I’m not too hung up about it.’

So friends, this is my pitch to you. You don’t have to like the person you’ve been on a date with and you definitely do not have to see a future with them. But you absolutely do need to treat them like a human.

Pay them the basic respect of being honest. Be brave and say how you feel instead of taking the easy route of pretending they don’t exist.

In short, just try your very best to not be a dick.

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Baileys has seen a serious revival over the last few years.

Once known primarily as something languishing in your Nan’s kitchen to be dusted off for Christmas, it turned things around back in 2009 when it began to target millennial women.

How, you might ask? They started a chocolate line, obviously.

Okay, Baileys, you got us, we’re predictable.

Now there are a whole range of Bailey’s sweet treats, like eclairs and profiteroles

Just lately there was the intense Freakshake cake from Asda.

(Picture: Baileys/Asda)

But their just-launched new product is the finest boozy dessert innovation yet. Chocolate Secret is a new ice cream made from actual Baileys.

Because of its alcohol content, it will only be available to adults.

Baileys say their new treat is smothered in chocolate sauce and tastes just like the cream liqueur and whiskey based drink.

You could use it to complement other desserts, to make luxury spiked milkshakes, or simply sit down and demolish the lot in front of a cosy film.

Getting a buzz on from eating ice cream?

Sign us up.

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Losing your hair can be an emotional experience.

Yes, it’s just hair – strands of keratin growing out of our scalps. It shouldn’t be a big deal. But our culture puts such emphasis and meaning on hair that hair thinning or loss can feel crushing.

That’s why any miracle fix to get hair growing back will be celebrated.

The new trick on the block: Rubbing sandalwood on your scalp.

Researchers from the Monasterium Laboratory, Münster, have found that sandalwood oil can stimulate hair growth after six days. They believe this is down to hair’s ‘smell receptors’, which respond to the scent of sandalwood by multiplying keratin.

Previous studies found that sandalwood oil can cause keratin in the skin to multiply, which speeds up wound healing, so scientists wanted to see if the same results would apply to the keratin in our hair.

Researchers exposed human scalp tissue from donors who had recently undergone face-lift surgery to Sandalore, an artificial scent that smells like sandalwood.

Six days after exposure, keratin levels in the scalp began to increase, signalling skin regeneration and hair growth.

It’s believed that the scent blocks the genes that cause keratin cells to die, acting on the smell receptor OR2AT4.

Researchers think that the results could be used to develop a treatment for baldness.

But before you go spending all your cash on sandalwood, please do note that more research needs to be done. It’ll be a while before experts can definitively say that sandalwood oil is a magic hair-growing fix.

That being said, you might find sandalwood oil is cheaper than all those medicated anti-baldness products you’re already buying, so do feel free to try it if you’re curious.

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Long have people praised the pleasure of a shower beer (that means a beer you drink in the shower, in case you were wondering).

For some reason, other alcoholic beverages have not received the same bathing-based praise.

While a shower beer is discussed widely, it’s rare to see anyone talk about sipping wine in the shower – they’re much more likely to have a glass when luxuriating in the bath.

Perhaps that’s down to the receptacle out of which we drink. A can feels rugged enough to be held in the shower. If you drop it, nothing too awful will happen apart from some beer in your plughole, whereas you don’t want a glass shattering in your tub.

Maybe Urban Outfitters’ handy little device will change things. Maybe this’ll be what takes shower wine mainstream.

The device of which we speak is the Sipski Shower Wine Glass Holder.

It’s pretty self-explanatory, a wine holder designed specifically for the shower so it’ll stick to your bathroom tiles.

The product description doesn’t recommended using it with actual glass, which is advice we’d echo. We’re clumsy enough as it is – adding in slippery soaped up hands to the mix doesn’t bode well for our safety.

If you are dedicated to the shower wine lifestyle, it’s worth investing in a plastic glass.

Of course, you could just get a plastic bottle and avoid the need for a holder altogether, but come on – shower wine deserves the basic respect of a proper wine-style glass (made of plastic, we add).

The wine glass holder costs $15 (£11), but sadly only seems to be available in the U.S. online store right now. We’ll keep an eye out for its arrival in the UK.

In the meantime, do enjoy a plastic cup of your chosen beverage by just balancing it on your (closed) toilet lid. Is it fancy? No. But neither is drinking booze in the shower.

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What does the label ‘virgin’ mean?

In literal terms, it means someone who has never had sex. Thinking about it though, what do you count as sex? Does oral count? What about foreplay and non-penetrative sex?

And that’s before you get on to the social stuff.

First off, there’s the obvious stereotype: the virgin loser. The film plot-line of the awkward highschooler trying to get laid before university has been around since the dawn of time.

I wasn’t quite in that camp of thought myself, but I suppose I did feel a bit left out. The cool kids had sex, the uncool kids didn’t.

At university, the pretty outgoing girls had boyfriends, I didn’t.

Before nights out at the student union, we played I Have Never; inevitably things would turn sexual, and I couldn’t drink to anything.

I mean I could have had a one night stand if I wanted to, but if it went down that way I’d feel like I’d somehow ‘cheated’. In losing my virginity I wanted to feel like I’d ‘earned’ it.

I wanted the full package — a boyfriend and sex — for its own sake of course, but also to upgrade my social standing from Virgin Loser into the ‘cool’ category.

Thankfully, if you’re a woman, there’s a slightly more flattering label you can adopt.

You can be the ‘conservative girl’. The nice girl boys can take home to meet their mum. The girl who doesn’t cause drama and would never cheat on you. Wife material.

Sadly though, men these days don’t want wife material. They want the ‘sexy girl.’ Someone who’s experienced and knows what they’re doing. Someone who can discuss their sexual preferences with a stranger and have sex on the first date.

After all, these are the women who enjoy sex and want to have it more often.

Based on labels, all sorts of assumptions are made. Is ‘conservative virgin girl’ a prude and lacking libido? Is ‘sexy girl’ liberated and more likely to be unfaithful?

Perhaps we should start viewing people as individuals whose complex personalities go beyond the number of people they have had sex with or how quickly they have sex.

I worked with the label I had. I played up to the sweet, innocent virgin stereotype.

I felt I had to keep a clean happy shiny image. For instance I wouldn’t tweet about politics. I would stay away from any drama.

However, the problem is that being a sweet, innocent virgin relies on youth. They are young and pretty.

The appeal of the older woman is that she’s experienced. She knows what she’s doing.

So what are you if you’re older but inexperienced?

Dating is tough out there, so what will my label be if I don’t meet my person in the next few years?

Will I be the ‘virgin spinster?’ This weird, socially awkward loser with a lot of cats who stays at home all the time reacting the first scene in the first Bridget Jones film?

Recently, I’ve adopted a new label. Or rather, one was given to me by a stranger on Twitter: the ‘militant virgin.’

I remembered some of the intense debates on sexuality I’ve had, shrugged, and thought that ‘militant’ was probably a fair statement.

Militant just means you’re passionate about something, and your viewpoint wasn’t the popular one. Notice how you get ‘militant vegan’, but never ‘militant meat-eater?’

A militant virgin means you go against the grain. That you’ve had people criticise you, you’ve had friends drop you, but you still kept going.

It means you’re proud to be who you are.

I was proud of who I was when I appeared on the front cover of The Telegraph (even my dog made an appearance). I was proud when I stepped outside my comfort zone to go on national TV and tell my story.

But above all, it’s about the people in the same position who contacted me to let me know they feel more confident now they know they are not alone.

Alice can be found on her blog, here. 

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Iceland is selling ready-made scrambled egg that you can pop in the microwave, and just like pre-chopped vegetables and peeled oranges before it, the product’s attracting plenty of groans and eye rolls.

People on Twitter have rushed to call the pre-made scrambled egg ‘lazy’, while Iceland themselves claim the product’s been released because they found a third of people don’t know how to make a good scramble.

Iceland’s survey of 1,000 people found that 13% of students don’t even know how to boil an egg, so the product’s release is being seen as the perfect opportunity to make fun of silly young people.

But there’s one thing the critics and Iceland are missing.

Prepared foods such as scrambled eggs can be incredibly helpful to those with disabilities. A wrist injury may make the whisking motion of scrambled eggs difficult, while those with chronic fatigue can struggle to make what many think of as ‘simple’ meals without being overtaken by exhaustion.

Pre-scrambled eggs that can be just popped in the microwave cut out the small steps of needing to crack open eggs and beat them with a whisk or fork. To able-bodied people, that sounds like no big deal – the peak of laziness and corner-cutting. But to those with disabilities, pre-scrambled eggs could be a game-changer.

Each pack is made with four free range British eggs, a dash of milk and seasoning, so there’s no need to add faff about with measuring milk or scooping the perfect knob of butter.

Unfortunately Iceland says the bags of egg still require some action before they’re ready. You need to squeeze the pack to break up the eggs, as you would a sachet of cat food.

For some, that’ll be another movement that isn’t as easy as it sounds, but for others, this may be possible where whisking isn’t.

Being able to easily microwave eggs could also be handy for office-workers keen to make breakfast in a kitchen with limited resources.

But there is a rather large catch, and that’s cost. As with so many packaged and prepared items that those with disabilities rely on, pre-scrambled eggs are more expensive than buying a dozen of your own. One single-serving pouch costs £1.50.

Iceland’s Head Chef Neil Nugent said: ‘Convenience and quality is fundamental to all of Iceland’s dishes, even simple ones likes scrambled egg.

‘It’s really easy for our customers to cook at work with limited resources on offer, or those needing a speedy breakfast at home.

‘Our ready-made scrambled eggs are made using British free range eggs with a little seasoning and are ready in just 90 seconds. For the perfect breakfast, serve on seeded bread with smoked salmon.’

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Oh, we do love a wedding-themed meltdown.

Whether it’s asking your guests to pay for your wedding to happen or threatening to delete them on Facebook for being unable to afford plane tickets, a rant about the particulars of a wedding is always entertaining.

This time in ‘wow, all that wedding planning must have been stressful’ news, someone on Reddit has shared a list of demands a friend’s ‘wedding coordinator’ emailed to guests.

It’s strangely specific, passive-aggressive, and littered with strange spelling choices, so we absolutely love it.

The email begins with an introduction from the wedding coordinator, who says they’re reaching out to do a final head count and send round some rules and regulations for the big day.

Here are those rules and regulations (with the wedding coordinator’s spelling).

Wow.

Now of course, as the bride, groom, and wedding coordinator’s name are all scribbled out and the post is just a screengrab on Reddit, we can’t confirm whether the rules and regulations are real or just an excellent joke.

But let’s just tell ourselves they’re real and that this wedding – where no one may talk to the bride or wear their hair in a style other than a bob or ponytail – is actually happening. Let’s just have a moment of shared joy in this email’s absurdity.

The post has attracted plenty of bewildered comments on Reddit, ranging from queries on the wedding coordinator’s spelling to why guests aren’t allowed to check in on Facebook until instructed.

Honestly, if we had the invite we’d head along just to enjoy the show. Imagine the fallout if someone shows up with an against-regulation low bun and a face full of makeup then dares to make eye contact with the bride.

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A nurse has shared why she’s swapped toilet paper for reusable cloths – and why she’s urging others to do the same.

Daisy May Taylor started using washable cloth wipes for her daughter, Eliza, 22, when she realised that they could work for adults, too.

Since January Daisy and her husband Warren have both ditched toilet paper entirely, using reusable cloths instead. They say they have no regrets.

For Daisy, it’s all about the environmental benefits as well as the increased comfort.

‘They are much nicer to use than toilet paper,’ says Daisy.

‘I think you feel cleaner. It’s a bit like using a toilet wipe, but you don’t have that feeling of it ruining the environment.

‘We were worried about the environmental impact of nappies when Eliza was born and that has filtered down. Using reusable wipes after going to the toilet works with our lifestyle and reduces what we are throwing or flushing away.’

Cleaning the cloths is pretty straightforward, as Daisy and her partner already have to wash their baby’s reusable nappies. They simply bung them all in the washing machine.

The cloths are washed every day before being dried and returned to the bathroom, where they’re dampened before use.

After wiping, the cloths are placed in a sealed bin with some drops of essential oils to prevent smells.

Daisy explains: ‘I did a lot of reading before having her and I was worried about the amount of waste using disposable nappies creates.

‘They take between 200 and 500 years to decompose, sitting in landfill sites, so cloth nappies seemed like a better option to me.

‘I realised that I was already washing the cloths for Eliza and maybe I could just use them, too. So, I started using them in January.

‘My husband was a bit unsure at first, but within a few days, he decided to try them too.

‘We bought more of the cloths we were using for Eliza from an online site called Cheeky Wipes, that specialises in different types of reusable wipes. Now there’s always a pile of clean ones in the bathroom and some in the wash.’

Daisy keeps some recycled toilet paper on hand for guests, as she understands not everyone will be comfortable using the cloths.

‘One of my friends has even started doing it, too,’ says Daisy. ‘Some people have said that they couldn’t do it, and that’s fine.

‘I understand it’s not for everyone, but it works for us.

‘There’s always the option of loo roll there and, if I’m honest, I’m not sure how I would feel about washing cloths from lots of different people!

‘I’m fine with washing the ones my family use. but I’m not sure I’d want to wash them for all our guests, too.’

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For a load of adults, Malorie Blackman’s Noughts & Crosses series were the books that got us into reading.

They were the books that sparked conversations about racism and made important concepts readable for teens and children.

So naturally, all us adults are now pretty excited that Malorie Blackman plans to launch a fifth book in the series, called Crossfire.

Crossfire will be published in summer 2019 by Penguin Random House Children’s, and is said to be inspired by Brexit, Trump and the rise of the far-right in Europe.

Yes, it’ll be just as topical and incredibly important as the original books.

Crossfire will be set several years after the end of the fourth book, which was released ten years ago, and will include the same characters, such as Sephy, Tobey, and Callie-Rose, as well as newbies called Libby and Troy.

Malorie Blackman told The Bookseller: ‘The previous books in the Noughts & Crosses series were inspired by and written in reply to contemporary events. Crossfire is no different.

‘I wanted to write a book that turned the spotlight on not just elections and politics but the pursuit of power.

‘At the heart of Crossfire however are the relationships between Tobey and Callie-Rose as teens and adults, as well as the relationship between two new characters, Libby and Troy, who represent the third generation of protagonists within the Noughts & Crosses series.

‘I’m thrilled to be revisiting the Noughts and Crosses world again.’

We’re pretty thrilled too.

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The email came at 4pm on Sunday afternoon, while I was shopping for garden furniture in Homebase.

A producer from BBC1’s breakfast programme wanted to know if I’d like to be interviewed in the studio on Monday morning, talking about my experiences with self-harm.

My initial instinct was to say no.

Although I write openly about living with mental illness, there’s a big difference between writing about it online and talking about it on live national TV.

But as I gave it some more thought, I realised it was something I wanted to do, because it was a way for me to shed light on what it’s like to live with self-harm.

And I wanted to make a stand to show that I’m not ashamed of my scars.

The opportunity came in the wake of an interview in the Sunday Times with Ruth Davidson, leader of the Scottish Conservatives, where she talked about mental breakdown as a teenager, and showed the journalist her self-harm scars.

If she – a woman in a public position with everything riding on her reputation – had the confidence to speak out about her experiences, why shouldn’t I?

My main motivation for agreeing to talk to the nation about my self-harm was to show that it’s not just something that teenagers do.

It’s true that most people who self-harm are aged between 11 and 25 years old, but many adults who started in their youth still battle the urges.

Others self-harm for the first time in adulthood.

The assumption that it’s ‘just a phase’ that people grow out of makes it difficult for adults to admit that they’re self-harming.

It’s one thing to see scars on a teenager, but another entirely to see them on a grown person who is fast approaching 40 – people like me and Ruth Davidson.

By talking about my experiences on TV, I wanted to make people aware that this is a real and ongoing issue for many adults.

And to break the stigma around self-harm.

I wouldn’t be ashamed of a scar that resulted from an injury or surgery. Neither would I be ashamed if I had a limb in plaster or needed a wheelchair.

Self-harm is a symptom of an illness like any other, and those of us who are affected should feel no more shame than we would of a physical ailment.

I was given the option to wear long sleeves on the show, but despite knowing that my scars would be visible, I decided to wear a short-sleeved dress.

I knew I was opening myself up to judgement, but covering them up would have made it look as if I was ashamed of my scars and seem dishonest.

Was I nervous about showing my scars? Of course.

But presenters Dan Walker and Naga Munchetty were sensitive and kind; there were no grisly close-ups and I felt surprisingly at ease discussing my experiences with them.

The feedback I’ve had since appearing on the show has been overwhelmingly positive. I have been told that I was calm, eloquent and above all, brave.

I’ll take the compliments, but I want to challenge the idea that showing self-harm scars is brave – it’s only brave if we believe that we have something to fear.

Self-harm is still taboo but the more people talk about it, the less scary it will be to get help.

Obviously, I’d much rather see a world where no one feels the need to self-harm at all (because they’re able to access the right support at the right time) but that’s far from the current reality.

The next best thing is for us self-harmers not to be shamed for our struggles, so that we feel able to open up about them.

That’s why I laid myself bare on national TV, and I’d do it again.

Self-harm is part of my story and my story is one of survival. Why should I be ashamed of that?

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It’s not just an anecdotal story that champagne, prosecco, cava, and other bubbly drinks give you the worst hangovers.

Studies have shown that the carbon dioxide in especially bubbly drinks mean you absorb the alcohol faster, resulting in a more soul-crushing hangover the net day.

Aldi claimed to have mastered the art of waking up fresh after a night of quaffing prosecco, however, with a new low-sulphite version. But, we have some questions.

The drink is an Organic Extra Dry Prosecco sourced from the Corvezzo family’s 150-hectare estate in Italy. It’s £7.99 a bottle, and in a now-deleted tweet the store called it ‘hangover-proof’ (a statement which they have confirmed to Metro.co.uk was not authorised or endorsed by the brand).

This claim was attributed in a number of publications to the sulphite content in organic wines. Sulphites are preservatives used in most wines, and there’s a common theory that the lower the chance of you getting a pounding ‘please just end me rather than allow me to have to suffer another minute more’ headache the next day.

That would be an absolute dream, right enough, but it’s not strictly true.

While carbonated alcoholic drinks do give you a worse reaction the morning after, it’s an urban myth.

University of Colorado professors found that it really was all about the bubbles. Professor Boris Tabakoff told ABC:

‘You get a faster rate of absorption, higher blood alcohol levels – and brain levels – if you drink champagne as opposed to something non-carbonated.’

Getting drunker faster (which is the case for two-thirds of people when drinking carbonated drinks) means a worse hangover.

There’s no research that sulphites will be responsible for a hang – unless of course you’re sulphite-sensitive, in which case they can cause a reaction not dissimilar to an asthma attack.

According the FDA, around 1 in 100 people are sulphite-sensitive, and can have allergic reactions. Those people will have to avoid various foods and drinks, from tinned soups to maraschino cherries.

In this case, Aldi’s offering is a perfect option, allowing you to enjoy a bubbly beverage without breaking out in hives.

Most people, though will still feel like a bear with a sore head the next day if they drink too much.

It’s not all bad, though, this prosecco has a 4.7 star rating on the Aldi website. Customer say it tastes great and the price is right.

So go ahead and enjoy your flutes of the good stuff. Just don’t expect not to wake up dry-mouthed and bleary-eyed afterwards.

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You might not have found Willy Wonka’s esteemed Golden Ticket but worry not, the next best thing has just become available: a house made of chocolate.

Thanks to travel agency Booking.Com, you can stay at the Chocolate Cottage in Paris, France, made entirely out of the sweet stuff.

The creation is the work of artisan chocolatier Jean-Luc Decluzeau who used a tonne and a half of the delicious treat to build the house walls, roof, fireplace, library and even a small pond.

Don’t worry too much about the logistics of it all – the house won’t melt.

Oh and did we mention you can eat parts of it?

The cottage is located in the glass house L’Orangerie Ephémère in the gardens of the Cité de la Céramique in Paris’s Sèvres area.

‘After check-in, set off to discover your gastronomic accommodation before attending a workshop led by Jean-Luc Decluzeau himself where you will learn how to create small personalized chocolate houses,’ describes the website.

‘You will also enjoy dinner and breakfast in the beautiful flower garden of the cottage.’

But the delicious cottage, which is sure to provide plenty of Insta-worthy snaps, won’t be around forever.

After a short stint of being publically available, from 11 September to 6 October, the 18 m² structure will be moved to a chocolate museum, Choco Story.

At the moment, there’s no availability for the property but keep an eye out on the website as additional days will be added.

If you’re successful, only two nights will be available upon reservation. The property will become available again on 26 September, and then a new night will be on sale for 5 and 6 October.

The cottage accommodates four people and costs €50 (£45) which is light payment to live out your chocolate-inspired dreams.

You can find out more details and book here.

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Vlogger Stephanie Matto, 27, started noticing large black and purple bruises on her skin back in 2016.

She was also extremely tired and kept having bouts of sickness.

While many of us would just dismiss those symptoms as being clumsy or not getting enough rest, Stephanie went to her doctor – but only after she noticed more bruises popping up on her body at the slightest touch.

‘In July 2016 I began to suffer from strange symptoms, but I decided to put it to the back of my mind and enjoy my summer,’ said Stephanie.

‘I went to Czech Republic to visit my family, regardless of the increasing number of bruises on my body and my inability to walk up a flight of stairs without losing my breath.

‘Every single time my body would brush against anything or even carrying my bag would result in a bruise. Someone could put their hand on my arm and within an hour I’d have a bruise in the shape of fingerprints.

‘The most intense bruise I got was when I was carrying shopping bags home one day and a few hours later I looked at my hands and they were a sea of blue-green. It looked as if all the veins in my hands had burst out blood.’

When Stephanie returned from her travels she went straight to the hospital, where after multiple tests it was found she had an extremely rare bone marrow failure called aplastic anaemia.

Stephanie was told she would need blood transfusions every other day to stay alive. If she didn’t go through this treatment, she had a life expectancy of three more months.

‘A week after returning from my travels I had blood work done and although I expected some bad news, I didn’t expect the likes of what ended up happening,’ remembers Stephanie.

‘I woke up the following morning with a frantic voicemail from the phlebotomist telling me to get to the closest hospital straight away.

‘I asked some of the doctors if I was okay or if I was dying. What worried me the most is that their only answer was “we don’t know”. Each day I would be pumped full of blood products and then the next day my numbers would crash down again.

‘I had to go and see a cancer specialist in another hospital and continue to receive lifesaving transfusions every other day to stay alive.

‘I had a routine of riding back and forth from the hospital, day in and day out. It felt like a very bad dream that I was constantly hoping to wake up from. In the end, I found the easiest way of coping was to just emotionally put myself on pause, so I shut myself down and faced each day as if nothing really mattered.

‘It felt so weird to rely on blood products from strangers to stay alive, but I realised that I not only need the blood to live but they also helped me feel better, so I began to look forward to them.

‘By the time my red blood was low, I couldn’t wait to get to the hospital and feel human again. It really made me realise just how important blood donations are.’

Stephanie has tried immunsuppressive therapies, but results have been mixed. She’s not able to have a bone marrow transplant as no matches were found on the transplant registry.

She’s now trying an experimental therapy at a specialist facility, where she’s injected with horse proteins to stimulate normal platelet production.

There’s currently no cure for Stephanie’s illness.

The vlogger is sharing her health journey on YouTube and Instagram to raise awareness of her rare condition and encourage understanding of those who are battling illness.

‘If I could take anything away from this journey it’s simply to have patience and gratitude,’ she said. ‘It’s a shame it took me getting a rare blood disease to learn these virtues.’

‘I won the bad health lottery because I’m literally one-in-a-million, but I have learned more I this year than I had in my entire life.

‘I am more compassionate towards others who are struggling. Sometimes it’s when we’re faced with death that we really learn what living means.’

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Universities generally give a little welcome pack to freshers.

You might get a pen, a leaflet for on-campus services, and some food items donated by brands for promotion.

For those starting first year at the University of Sussex this year, it’s mostly the same – except for one item which has caused controversy.

A beer mat advertising dental care subscription service Brushbox was included in the 2018 Dig-In Box, featuring a ‘spit or swallow’ message.

The mat can be hooked onto your nose to make it look like you’re spitting out a white substance – very droll.

The images circulated on Twitter and Mumsnet, with people describing the items as ‘sexual harassment’.

One Mumsnet user said, ‘What a hostile, threatening environment for young women university has become. Someone already said it upthread, but it feels as though we’re rapidly regressing back to the atmosphere of a 70s working mens club.

‘”Get drunk and give oral, oh and make some lovely friends whilst you’re at it”. Ugh.’

Another said, ‘As a young woman recovering from a domestically violent relationship when I started uni, I wouldn’t have felt very welcome.’

The company who compiles the boxes say that their packs reach 80% of freshers, so this may not be specifically a Sussex problem but a Dig-In Box one.

However, a University of Sussex Students’ Union spokesperson told Metro.co.uk: ‘We were very disappointed to find this promotional material in our Dig-In boxes, and will be reviewing whether to renew our contract with this supplier.’

A spokesperson from the University itself continued on the Union’s sentiment, saying: ‘We can absolutely see why this promotional material in our Students’ Union’s freshers packs has sparked such a strong reaction. We’re sure this discussion will continue and that our Students’ Union and other student unions will feed back the reaction to the company responsible.’

Brushbox told Metro.co.uk: ‘We’re are really sorry if anyone has been offended by the promotional image used in the Dig-In boxes. We now realise it was inappropriate and misguided of us to use this type of image as a way to raise awareness of dental health issues.

‘We completely understand that the image could be deemed as derogatory to women and for that we are truly sorry – this was never our intention, and we take full responsibility for any upset it has caused.

‘BrushBox is a company which prides itself on its family and ethical ethos and we are very disappointed that something which was meant to encourage good health habits amongst students has caused any offence.’

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My son Teygan was in his first year studying Russian at Manchester University when meningitis took his life.

Teygan, known as Tey, was truly a unique person. From very early on he was never one to follow a crowd or worry about being himself.

He was not used to circulating in large social groups and although he was excited about university, there was an equal measure of trepidation.

He did well to hide his nerves when he started and we were pleased that he soon settled in. By the end of freshers he had acquired a large number of new friends and, surprisingly, a voracious appetite for Manchester nightlife.

We were excited to see how this new chapter would play out.

Tey had only been at university for six weeks before he became ill.

Following a good Saturday night out he had woken the next day unaware that he was suffering from a life-threatening condition known as meningococcal septicaemia.

His friends were not concerned about him on the Saturday; he appeared well and wasn’t complaining. When Tey awoke on the Sunday he assumed he was suffering the effects of a particularly nasty hangover that he needed to sleep off.

So there he stayed, in bed, in his own room with no clue as to how seriously ill he was. No one else was aware of his illness until he stumbled out of bed later that evening, managing to open his door before collapsing into the corridor outside.

He was found soon after by his flatmates, who immediately called an ambulance, and rushed to the nearby Manchester Infirmary, but he could not be saved.

The police informed us the next day of the death of our son and that it was thought initially and later confirmed to be meningitis caused by the meningococcal bacteria group B.

We felt numb and shell shocked by the quickness of his illness and its devastating conclusion.

The next few days were horrendous.

Visiting Tey in the mortuary; visiting his room to collect his possessions; visiting and being shown around where he had been studying; watching from the outside other students going about their normal day of lectures.

They couldn’t do anything about the painful truth, the cold realisation that Tey was no longer a part of this. He was gone in the blink of an eye and nothing could bring him back.

At his funeral service we were comforted by the overwhelming support we were given and amazed that 14 students from the university had also made the long journey to Cornwall for him.

They had only known him for those six weeks but his likeability and quirkiness had endeared him to them. In a short space of time he had become a true friend, worthy of saying a proper goodbye to.

Now I’m appealing to all parents to act to ensure their children are safe – no one should be left counting the cost of inaction.

All those entering university should have their vaccination for Meningococcal Groups ACWY. Most will have had this whilst at school, but not everyone. For those who haven’t, it’s available free of charge for first-time university entrants up to the age of 25.

A vaccine for Meningococcal group B (Men B) – the type that Tey had – is also available but is only free for young children. Boots and Superdrug branches offer this, as well as private clinics.

As many students won’t be protected against Men B it’s also vitally important to know the signs and symptoms of the disease and that fast action saves lives and improves outcomes.

The early signs and symptoms of meningitis and septicaemia can be similar to flu and include fever, headache, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea and muscle pain. More specific signs and symptoms include fever with cold hands and feet, drowsiness, confusion, pale blotchy skin, stiff neck, dislike of bright lights and a rash which doesn’t fade under pressure.

Every university in the UK could experience one case of meningitis among its students within the first term. If you think it’s you, or one of your friends, don’t be afraid to call for help – the sooner you do the better the likely outcome.

Charity Meningitis Now offers a free information pack for parents and students, including leaflets, signs and symptoms cards, fridge magnets and year planners – all of which contain lifesaving information. These are available free of charge from www.meningitisnow.org/unis

Read more about meningitis awareness and Teygan’s story on the Meningitis Now website at www.MeningitisNow.org

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Everyone’s favourite member of former boyband One Direction, Zayn Malik (you know it’s true), has just added another title to his list of achievements; designer.

The singer and songwriter, who is currently courting model Gigi Hadid, is dabbling in the fashion world. He’s just launched a limited edition line of backpacks.

When high-end French brand The Kooples asked the musician, 25, for a collaboration, he wanted to do more than that.

After he was announced as the Menswear and Accessories muse, Zayn wanted to co-design with the company’s creative director, Alexandre Elicha.

His backpack designs follow the style of Kooples’ new urban and streetwear collection.

The tartan bags feature bold prints and have adjustable back straps and a sturdy top handle so you can carry it with your hand or strap it around your back.

As well as in tartan, you can get the backpack in a grained bi-colour leather, in The Kooples signature black leather, or as printed canvas in camouflage.

The other design as part of the line features Zayn’s reimagination of the classic Kooples men’s backpack in graphic red and black.

Zayn’s collab with the fashion house should draw in plenty of crowds as the brand celebrates a decade since they were founded.

You can check out the range and purchase here.

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With Bake Off well and truly underway, it doesn’t seem too crazy that plenty of people would be keen to get involved.

Not all of us have the skill to get a Hollywood handshake, though, as this particular mum learned the hard way.

A Reddit post on the page Casual UK yesterday entitled ‘A friend made a cake for her son last week’ showed the very sweet but funny mistake made.

As you might be able to see, the cake says ‘good luck @ uni’. However it’ll take a couple of tries to realise this.

On first glance it definitely reads as ‘good luck c***’ to some.

The post – by user Yellow-SP – has garnered hundreds of comments, with redditors laughing at the whole situation.

SwissJAmes said, ‘Absolute gold- when you[r] head says “Good Luck @ Uni”, but your heart says ‘Get the f*** out of my house”

JimMoffatt added another interesting theory to the mix: ‘Australians be like ‘aw that’s sweet’ but Aussie SaltpeterSal stated this wouldn’t go down too well: ‘Many of us like to wish luck by saying ‘chookers’, especially in theatre, for those people who get psyched out when they hear ‘good luck’. This is like cursing someone by wishing them well, to the point that you bake the cunt a cake.’

It’s not the first time a naughty cake has made the headlines.

Earlier this year, a mum ordered a cake topper for her daughter’s first birthday celebrations. What was supposed to look like a monkey wrapped around a 1, ended up very phallic indeed.

Another parent realised the words on her child’s cake read very differently when viewed from a different angle.

When will they learn?

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We love an outfit fail – though of course we feel bad for the person who spent money on something that looked nice online, but turned out awful.

This happened to 23-year-old Paige Gardner, who bought a dress from In the Style for a night out.

Paige paid £24.99 for the khaki dress, and was excited to try it on – but when it turned up it didn’t fit how she’d expected it to.

The cut-out meant to sit on her tummy instead revealed her breasts to the world, nips hanging out from underneath the top section.

Paige, from Blaina, South Wales said: ‘I ordered the dress because I thought it was lovely.

‘I was going to wear it to go to Cardiff for the weekend for a night out with my girl friends and wanted to wear that.

‘As soon as I put it on, I knew I definitely wasn’t going to be wearing it anywhere in public – no amount of boob tape could save that.

‘My first reaction as soon as I put the dress on was, “christ, look at my nipples!”

‘It definitely wasn’t as fitted as I thought it was going to be.’

Despite having a major wardrobe failure, Paige explains that she would still purchase from the website.

She said: ‘I’d definitely just be more aware of the model in the picture and how much boob they’ve got themselves!

‘Even though it was an embarrassing wardrobe failure, I think it is hilarious.

‘My friends who have seen the photo think I’m an absolute legend, but I’m not sure my family would react the same!

‘The photo has even been shared online and people think it’s hilarious there too.’

A spokesperson for In the Style said: ‘We have seen the pictures that our customer took and can say it’s the age old problem of never being able to find that one dress that suits everyone.

‘Us ITS girls who design the clothes have suffered our fair share of fashion faux pas and fallen victim to more than the occasional dress not fitting our shape when it looks great on the model.

‘We have continued in our endeavours to cater to everyone since our conception and have introduced tall lines, curve and will be introducing petite in the coming weeks so we can make sure all girls no matter their shape or size will be able to get something from ITS they will feel fabulous in.’

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We reported earlier that a group of friends who looked like any other group of pals were in fact recipients of anonymous lung transplants who’d bonded over their journeys.

Another group of girls, aged four and five, have also connected over their health battles.

At first glance, they look like any young carefree little girls but Chloe, Mckinley, Ava, and Lauren all endured and defeated cancer together.

They became friends while admitted at Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital in Florida in 2016 where Chloe had childhood lung cancer, and Ava, McKinley, and Lauren had leukemia.

Now, the fast friends, who are in remission, have come together for their annual reunion to celebrate their journeys.

Wearing ‘survivor’ t-shirts and gold tutus, the youngsters posed together hugging and giggling.

They first met in 2016 at the Florida hospital when the doctor gave them all pink tutus to lift their moods during their respective treatments.

In September 2017 they came back together to recreate the original snap and now they’ve returned once more to mark Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

Chloe’s condition – childhood lung cancer – is incredibly rare and has just a 40% survival chance.

She went into A&E on Christmas eve 2015 after a persistent fever, and family members saw her slumping to one side.

Mum of Ava, who was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia, told Daily Mail Online everything is now surreal.

‘Once your child has cancer, it’s hard to imagine a “normal” life again. It’s even more special when it’s with her sweet friends that she grew close with while they were all so very sick.

‘Most people dream of different days for their children like the first day of school or weddings. These are the days we’ve dreamed of.’

Ava was diagnosed in January 2016 and also had persistent fever and a limp.

She was on chemotherapy for two years to ensure the cancer was all gone.

Dr Charlie Moore, who treated all four girls, said Chloe’s condition particularly baffled the medical community.  He said Chloe’s recovery has been astonishing, along with that of all the other girls.

‘It’s tough enough trying to be a toddler,’ he said.

‘There’s so much learning and environmental stimuli going on. When you throw in a cancer diagnosis and the treatments that are needed, they really can’t understand what’s going on.

‘Children with cancer often mature much faster because they’re thrown into a world where they have to learn so much about the real world.

‘These girls were able to have a unique bond in that their peer group wasn’t in the play ground, it was in the hospital and the clinic.

‘It’s been an absolute joy to see them grow and to see them outside of the hospital setting, being the kids they should have been all along.

‘This should never have happened to them.’

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Attention, ice cream fans: Ben & Jerry’s is launching a flavour that’s peak autumn.

Introducing: Spice & All Things N’ice.

This new addition is made using caramel ice cream, gingerbread cookie pieces and chocolate chunks.

Yep, we’re all about the gingerbread this September – what with Asda and Aldi having both recently released gingerbread flavoured gin.

Buying this ice cream won’t just be a treat for you – it’ll also help people in need.

Ben & Jerry’s will use part of the proceeds from the sales of the new flavour to set up a cooperative fund to help entrepreneurs who arrived in the UK as refugees to break into the business world.

Proceeds from Spice & All Things N’ice will help businesses to start up and flourish, but most importantly give refugees the opportunity to rebuild their lives.

The cooperative fund will be owned and managed by graduates of the ‘Ice Academy’; a business training, mentoring and employment programme set up by Ben & Jerry’s and their friends over at The Entrepreneurial Refugee Network.

Rebecca Baron, UK Social Mission Manager at Ben & Jerry’s said: ‘Spice & All Things N’ice has arrived to warm hearts and bowls across the UK with a very important cause baked in.

‘We think it’s often the simplest of ideas that can be the sweetest… and what’s sweeter than giving refugees the tools they need to unlock their potential?’

Fred Kastner Co-Founder of the Entrepreneurial Refugee Network added: ‘Partnering with Ben & Jerry’s has meant a fair amount of ice cream in our office, but also a heavy dose of social activism.

‘The cool thing for us is that Spice & all things N’ice removes a key barrier for refugee start-ups by providing small scale loans to get their businesses off-the-ground, in a process that is managed by refugee entrepreneurs for refugee entrepreneurs.’

You’ll be super happy to know that you can already get the new flavour in all supermarkets – as it was released yesterday, 19 September.

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