Zara has pretty much taken over our homes; from the clothes in our wardrobes to our decor. Now it’s probably going to dominate our beauty regime.

That’s because the fashion retailer has announced it is launching a new makeup collection, just in time for Christmas.

And you can expect top-notch, international high fashion items too as the new line was designed in LA and produced in France.

The range draws inspiration from iconic makeup artist and Vogue beauty editor-at-large Pat McGrath, who worked on the Zara autumn/winter 2018 campaign.

Thankfully we can now recreate the dramatic looks at home.

‘During the initial stages of creation Zara sought expert knowledge and guidance from some of the most influential, experienced beauty professionals in the industry; this has resulted in the production of long-lasting, easy to use, matte lipstick shades,’ said Zara in a press release.

‘With the new addition of this beauty line Zara aims to provide top quality, innovative, fun, and affordable products.’

The Spanish retailer will be offering 12 matte lipsticks and eight matte liquid lipsticks and a potential three-piece lip kit is said to be in the works too.

If that’s got you itching to try the new items, you can purchase the new products online from 5 December.

Zara isn’t the first fashion retailer to expand into makeup after Topshop also introduced their own beauty line.

The Phillip Green brand has a few more options than Zara though, offering eye pencils, bronzers, and nail polish.

If expensive beauty lines are not for you then the likes of Zara and Topshop might just be up your street. And you can find them pretty much on any high street.

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This is the world’s first LGBT synagogue, where lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Jews can go to worship.

Often many of those who attend have been excluded from religious communities because of their sexuality.

The synagogue started in 1972, just a few years after the Stonewall riots, a series of demonstrations that took place after a police raid of The Stonewall Inn in New York in 1968. The riots were seen as the turning point for the gay liberation movement in the U.S.

Since then Temple Beth Chayim Chadashim, which means House of New Life,has offered a space for a diverse community in Pico-Robertson, the ultra-Orthodox region of Los Angeles, where Kosher delis close early on Friday evenings for observance of Shabbat.

In 1994, they appointed their first openly gay rabbi, Rabbi Lisa Edwards. Now the current head rabbi, she lives with her wife, Tracy Moore who manages the LGBT archives of Los Angeles.

She leads over 300 members, including many veteran temple goers who attended services from the beginning, before they felt ready to come out to their friends and families.

They meet during service, Torah study groups, weekly religious school for the children, and numerous program events scheduled throughout the year that keep this “family” closer than ever.

Photographer Morgan Lieberman started documenting BCC last January for her photoseries Pride Over Prejudice. She described it as ‘an intimate look at a temple that has overcome obstacles beyond the inner walls and continues to grow year after year’.

She added: ‘I’m a queer, Jewish documentary filmmaker and photographer born and raised in Los Angeles.

‘With Pride Over Prejudice, I hope to shed a positive light on a community I admire and respect, but also one I identify with.’

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Secret Santa is super fun if you have the right people in your workplace.

It’s unlikely you’re going to get your favourite gift ever, but if you need a new mug or some novelty socks you’re golden.

There’s a game making its way across from America, however, that makes secret exchanges even more fun: White Elephant.

In some places it’s called Dirty Santa or Yankee Swap, and to do well you’ll need a bit of cunning and a brass neck. Here are the rules:

Firstly, you need to get everyone in the office or party signed up. Let them know a budget and tell them the date you’ll be doing the gift exchange, but you don’t need to assign them a person since the presents can be taken by anyone.

Then, you buy a random gift. The game is called White Elephant because the gifts are supposed to be fun and silly, without much real use. No screwdriver sets please.

On the day, you all put your presents in one location. 

Pick out presents in some sort of order – this could be oldest to youngest, or pulled out of a hat, or using a random name generator online. The first person will just pick out a present and open it.

After this, the next person can either choose to open their own present or steal that of the person who has just opened theirs.

If someone is stolen from, they can open a new one or steal from someone else. However, each present can only be stolen once per turn.

The game is over when everyone has a gift.

There are some variations you can add to the game. For example, you might say instead of the ‘one steal per gift per turn’ rule you can say that gifts can only be stolen a maximum of three times throughout the whole game – after that it would be frozen.

Some people may also want to turn it into a drinking game, whereby you must drink a shot each time you want to steal. This one could be a lot more messy.

Another variation also states you can’t open until the end. So, you can disguise your gifts with bigger or smaller boxes, or better or worse wrapping techniques to fool players.

If it’s good enough for the characters in the US Office, it’s good enough for your workplace, surely.

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Chanel has announced that it will no longer use fur and exotic animal skin in its collection to keep up with ethical standards.

The high-end French retailer said they’d put a stop to using crocodile, lizard, snake and stingray skin as well as fur, although they say they only use a small amount of fur currently.

The decision comes after other luxury fashion houses such as Burberry, Gucci, and Versace made the same move.

Now it will work on creating sustainable products with minimal environmental impact, though Chanel creators have yet to confirm what steps they will take.

‘It is our experience that it is becoming increasingly difficult to source exotic skins,’ Bruno Pavlovsky, president of Chanel fashion told WWD.

‘The future of high-end products will come from the know-how of what our atelier is able to do.’

He added that existing fur items will take some time to work their way out of its boutique distribution as the team figure out another way to produce an ethical range.

Though animal skins are generally frowned upon in contemporary society, they have been a fashion staple in the industry for a long time, adorned by the likes of Kate Moss among others.

The push for major designers such as Chanel to ban unethical fashion means was welcome news to animal rights group Peta who celebrated the decision.

The group said ‘the champagne corks are popping’ at Peta HQ after they campaigned for decades for the brand to go cruelty-free.

‘For decades, PETA and its affiliates have called on the brand to opt for luxury, cruelty-free fashion that no animal had to suffer and die for, and now it’s time for other companies to follow the lead.

‘There’s nothing trendy about using stolen skins from tormented animals for clothing or accessories. Recent advancements in textiles have made faux fur and vegan leather nearly indistinguishable from animal pelts and skins, far more sustainable, and infinitely customisable, meaning there’s simply no reason to breed and kill animals for fashion.

‘It’s clear that the time is now for all companies, like Louis Vuitton, to follow Chanel’s lead and move to innovative materials that spare countless animals a miserable life and a violent, painful death.’

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Have you ever woken up to find you’ve sent a text you have no memory of sending?

You’re not alone. And we’re not just talking about a risky message sent after a few rounds.

New research suggests that sleep texting – yep, literally texting while you’re asleep or just drifting off – is on the rise, especially in young people.

Researchers at Villanova University’s M. Louise Fitzpatrick College of Nursing surveyed 372 university students about their use of mobile phones, and found that 25.6% of them reported texting in their sleep.

Of those students, 72% said they didn’t remember sleep texting, and 25% could remember what they had texting.

So essentially, a number of us are sending messages in our sleep while we’re not fully conscious, then forgetting all about it. That could be risky.

Sleep texting tends to happen right before someone is actually asleep, when they’re drifting in and out of consciousness, and the study found that most of the messages make no sense.

Lead author Elizabeth B. Dowdell said: ‘The majority of the sleep texting students had no memory of the texting behaviour as well as who or what they texted.

‘The lack of memory is not surprising as sleep research has found that people awakened after sleeping more than a few minutes are usually unable to recall the last few minutes before they fall asleep.’

This could all be a bit embarrassing. Imagine finishing off a perfectly normal conversation with someone you fancy with an unintended admission of love, then snoozing for eight hours – long enough for them to assume you meant to express your affection and now regret it. Imagine sending an email to your boss just as you were drifting into a dream about elephants going to school.

The scary part is that sleep texting doesn’t feel as though it’s under our control. Our sleepy selves take over and send all manner of bizarre messages; and unless someone responds, it’s possible we’ll have no idea what we’ve sent the next morning.

So why does sleep texting happen, and what can we do to put a stop to it?

‘Sleep texting is a form of Parasomnia – a broad category that encompasses a number of sleep disorders including sleepwalking or sleep eating and that occurs during the REM stage of sleep,’ Angela Crouch, a sleep expert at Nectar Sleep, tells Metro.co.uk.

‘In this stage, different parts of your brain are awake and asleep. This means that some activities – like texting – are completed almost on autopilot.

‘This is especially true if you are the type of person that is constantly glued to their phone and leaps into action every time you get a text.’

Angela says you don’t need to worry too much about spilling a massive secret when text sleeping, as the messages you send when semi-conscious are ‘largely nonsense’.

But to avoid the embarrassment of sending gibberish to everyone in your contact book, your best bet is to follow the advice sleep experts have been banging on about for ages: Stop using your phone in bed.

If you’re texting as you drift off, it’s easier to continue that automatic behaviour as you slip past consciousness into the realm of sleep.

It also means that your phone is in easy reach, meaning that if you are someone who sleep walks, sleep talks, or does anything else in your sleep, your phone is going to be your first target.

We also know that messing around on your phone before bed does disrupt your sleep in general, so if you have sleep-related issues, it’s a good idea to reduce your screentime before bed.

The study found that simply having technological devices in the bedroom – even if you don’t use them – damages your sleep. Students with four or more technological devices in their bedroom had significantly less sleep than those with three or fewer devices.

‘If at all possible, we would recommend that people avoid technology late at night,’ says Angela. ‘Our research shows the average Brit spends just under 3 hours a week texting in bed, but this blue light exposure can make it harder for people to switch off.’

Basically, if you want to protect yourself from sleep texting it’s best to take your phone out of the equation.

Don’t mess with your phone once you’re in bed, and if you can, store your phone outside your bedroom overnight. Even just stick it in a drawer instead of having it next to your pillow.

No late-night Twitter scroll is worth the shame of sending nonsense to a new work friend at 2am.

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I was born in 2006, two years after Facebook was founded, and I grew up in the midst of the rapid rise of social media.

As a 12-year-old girl, I am not ashamed to admit that I have been a slave to social media.

Although I’ve never been cyber-bullied, I have many friends who have been.

One of my friends was being threatened by an anonymous user and she never told anyone. This person had pressured her for five months. One day I saw a menacing and intimidating remark pop up on her phone. When I asked her what it was and who it was from, she tearfully told me that she was getting these texts for almost half a year.

I was disappointed that she didn’t tell anyone, but she said that the unknown user had told her that if she reported his texts to anyone, he would do something ‘that will make her regret ever opening her mouth’.

Nevertheless, I persuaded her to tell this to our teacher who then helped my friend get through this horrible situation. Yet, even now, a year later, she has not and will not forget that damaging episode.

On Instagram you can call yourself anything and be confidential when sending messages, so nobody knows who that user is.

Sometimes in desperate attempts to get ‘more popular’ we add people we don’t really know just to increase our followers. This is what happened to my friend, but we have all learnt a lesson from her experience.

These days, the more followers and likes you have, the more ‘popular’ you seem to be. Some kids feel so anxious about not getting enough likes and followers that they try hard to impress other people by posting inappropriate content.

Selfies are 38 per cent more likely to receive likes so many insecure teenagers, worried about the minimal amount of likes they are receiving, start posting mirror selfies with a minimal amount of clothes on.

This can lead to an unhealthy obsession, where someone is so concerned with how many likes and messages they are getting, that they are constantly checking their phone. This can be distracting in class, when instead of concentrating on the topic, they are thinking about their account.

When a couple of my friends and I ‘achieved’ 1,000 followers on Instagram, we were ecstatic. All we did for weeks was sit and wonder in class how many more likes and followers we were getting.

But when I fell out with my friendship group, not one of my thousand followers came to my aid. I then knew that I had to start over and make other friends in real life. Now I realise that online ‘friends’ don’t matter. It’s the friends we have at school that we see every day that are important.

This is a lesson parents sometimes try to teach by taking our phone away from us, but this can be counterproductive, leading to us becoming ostracised at school, when our friends are talking about what someone had shared online last night.

My parents have taken my phone away a number of times, which has been difficult for me. When I was phoneless at school, I always felt left out and excluded from my friendship circle when they started talking about what was going on in their digital life.

Luckily, my parents understood and we came to an agreement that my time on social media would be controlled and limited. I wasn’t too keen when my parents first suggested it, but I soon saw how much calmer my life became. I wasn’t stressed about missing out anymore, and I wasn’t worried that I was getting too addicted. The balance was just right.

I now see that these apps are designed so that they never come to an end. Even though we might tell ourselves, ‘five more minutes,’ something new pops up when the page is refreshed, and suddenly five minutes turns into much longer. So I have been trying to convince all my friends to try and set boundaries on their screen time.

Moving up to year seven was a huge leap for me. Joining secondary school isn’t easy because everyone is trying to fit in. In primary, not many students have social media and so everyone is friends with the people they see at school every day. However, in year seven, many kids became friends through social media sites such as Instagram and SnapChat.

Technology is great, but the real wonders that lie in front of us as children are the ones you need to feel and experience IRL.

Although we all know there is a law that states that under 13s are not allowed to use these platforms, many people, including parents and schools, seem to turn a blind eye. Almost everyone I know, when moving into year seven, gained access to social media through their smartphone. It is not a great example that one of the first laws we came across as 12 year olds is so easily bypassed.

The other problem is that everyone seems to exaggerate when they’re hidden behind their screen and so when talking to other people, they can amplify their true personalities.

When I was in year seven I was messaging a girl from another class in my school. Over messages, she made me laugh and I loved talking to her. We became so close that we decided to meet the next day at school.

Except we couldn’t seem to find a topic to start a conversation with, and the time we spent together was very awkward. I was so disappointed that someone who I thought I had such a great connection with was nothing like me and we had absolutely nothing in common when we spoke in real life.

As a young girl who is about to become a teenager, I am excited that my classmates and I are the future. But I am also fearful because if our future generation becomes too absorbed in virtual lives, where will that lead?

What adults will we become if real life is too complicated for us to confront? How can hiding behind a screen so bright suddenly seem so dark? Technology has been created to develop an easier future, but somehow has made it a lot more difficult.

My belief is that parents, politicians and the social media companies need to come together and take action. Not to get rid of social media for young people, but to restrict it.

While adults still have control, they should limit the amount of time young people spend on their phone and make sure that we are aiming to achieve something in their life.

I have found that I enjoy myself more and find myself more content when I am not being bewitched by my phone all the time. By having these limits on my screen time, I can both keep up with all of the gossip while also not watching my phone at every opportunity.

Technology is great, but the real wonders that lie in front of us as children are the ones you need to feel and experience IRL. In real life.

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Work Christmas parties aren’t just hotspots for office goss and actually interacting with the person who sits opposite you.

They’re also ripe breeding grounds for all kinds of naughtiness.

That naughtiness includes sex, and that sex includes cheating.

Yup, Christmas parties are very often where people embark on affairs or have one-off smooches with people who, um, aren’t their significant others.

That’s not just anecdotal – both Illicit Encounters and Ashley Madison report an increase in affairs over the Christmas party period.

Ilicit Encounters’ new survey of 1,000 people found that a third of people have cheated on a partner at Christmas, and that the work party is where an affair is most likely to start.

The site reports that the three week period starting from 3 December and going to Christmas Day is the peak time for cheating, ahead of summer holidays and New Year’s Eve.

57% of those surveyed who had been unfaithful said their affair was with a colleague, and that things had started getting naughty at the office party. 68% said they had cheated because they had got drunk and things had gone too far.

There’s a fairly even split between office party footsy turning into more and being a one time thing. 46% continued seeing their colleague romantically after Christmas.

There also tends to be some buildup before the big night, with 74% of those who cheated with a work colleague admitting to flirting with their hookup buddy in the run-up to festivities.

But while there may be early signs of an imminent cheating sesh, most people who get with someone at the office party don’t get caught – just 11% of the cheaters surveyed were discovered by their betrayed partner.

Illicit Encounters spokesman Christian Grant said:’“Beware of the Christmas party season because it is a hotbed for affairs.

‘Sexual tensions which have been bubbling up over the course of the working year finally explode due to drink and the opportunity to grab a kiss under the mistletoe.

‘The good news for cheats is that they are very unlikely to get caught out if they start an affair at this time of year, though they are advised not to flaunt their new love in front of their colleagues.’

Research from another married dating site, Ashley Madison, backs up the idea that Christmas parties are a hotbed for cheating.

Their survey of over 1,600 members of their site found that 66% use the Christmas office party as the perfect time to have an affair with a coworker.

The cheaters say that working with a colleague all day creates an attraction to them, and 37% said they are attracted to someone they currently work with.

The majority of those who cheat at office parties say they do so because it’s a rare occasion that their partner isn’t there to see them behaving badly.

Just because cheating at the office party is common, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

By having affair with a colleague you’re not only putting your relationship at risk, but also risking your job.

Dr Tammy Nelson, sex and relationship therapist and author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity, says: ‘Don’t be a cliché. You don’t want to be that person who ends up on someone’s Instagram or Facebook feed caught in the act at the office holiday party with your boss or a coworker.

‘Watch how much you drink, and walk away if you feel uncomfortable. And don’t let a temporary attraction triggered by workplace festivities turn into a permanent mistake.

‘Office affairs can be more than just a bad career move. They could be a total boundary violation and even set you up for legal issues later on. No matter what side you’re on – the pursuer or the pursued – put down the eggnog and call an Uber or just sit this one out.’

Wise words.

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Everyone is very used to chowing down on mince pies at this time of the year, but few question why the little treats have their unusual name.

It would not be a weird name to call a pie that actually had mince in it, but the modern mince pies don’t have any in them at all.

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So where does the name come from? Unsurprisingly mince pies have a mincey history behind them and they have developed over time.

Here is everything you need to know…

These festive treats have changed a lot over the course of their history, and what we have today is a modern mince pie.

Mince pies were always a festive pie and eaten around Christmas time.

Other names for mince pies include ‘mutton pie’, ‘shrid pie’ and ‘Christmas pie.’

What has changed dramatically is the mince pie recipe, having begun as savoury pies filled with minced meat, suet, dried fruits, spices cloves and nutmeg.

However, the modern mince pie is filled with a mixture of dried fruit and spices that is called ‘mincemeat’ but there is no meat in the mixture at all.

Mince pies became associated with Catholism and were frowned upon by Puritan authorities, but the tradition of eating them continued through the Victorian era.

Then the recipe began to change to something a little sweeter and reduced in size from the large oblong shape once observed to smaller round pie shape during Victorian times and the meat was ditched.

In Tudor times mince pies were made from 13 ingredients to represent Jesus and his 12 apostles – mutton was also added to represent the shepherds.

When the pies were made to be oval shapes they would represent the crib and the fillings would represent the gifts that the wise men brought Jesus.

It was once a rumour that the eating of mince pies on Christmas Day was illegal in England. Thankfully, this was untrue.

In an effort to tackle gluttony Oliver Cromwell banned mince pies and Christmas pudding.

When Charles II became King, the ban did not survive nor did any of the 11 laws relating to mince pies that Oliver Cromwell brought in.

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If you’re looking for a place to eat on your travels, TripAdvisor is probably your first port of call for online reviews.

So it’s safe to say you trust their ratings. You’ll be pleased to know then that they’ve compiled a list of the best restaurants around the world that you should definitely check out on your next travels.

But thankfully one of them, the Restaurant Sat Bains, is a lot closer to home. You can check out this fourth best eatery in the world quite easily as it’s only in Nottingham.

Though it’s the first establishment to win an accolade as such, it doesn’t come as much of a surprise as the Sat Bains boasts two Michelin stars and a glorious seven and ten-course tasting menu.

Restaurant owners Sat and Amanda Bains said: ‘We have always believed in our team and our location, and we feel both the kitchen brigade and front of house team we have currently are the strongest we have ever had.

‘It’s very flattering to receive such high praise from our guests, and we are immensely proud to fly the flag, not just for our home city of Nottingham and the Midlands, but the UK too.

‘To be among restaurants of such high calibre in the world ranking is extremely humbling. It’s an honour to be recognised and it will inspire us to keep pushing to deliver the ultimate in gastronomy. There will certainly be extra celebrations at our Christmas party this month.’

The top spot went to French joint Au Crocodile, a Michelin starred restaurant in Strasbourg, named after a stuffed crocodile. The French clearly know what they’re doing as the Martin Berasategui, in Lasarte took second spot.

If you fancy eating at some top bougie spots then don’t worry you won’t have to travel to the ends of the earth for it as three other UK restaurants made the top 25.

Birmingham’s Adam’s restaurant, which has a Michelin Star, three AA Rosettes and a score of 7 in the Good Food Guide, placed eleventh.

Meanwhile, Le Manoir Aux Quat’Saisons in New Milton, West Hampshire came fifteenth.

Better jot down the names.

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Everyone knows that fiddling about with Christmas lights is an absolute nightmare, so why not save yourself the hassle and get yourself a pre lit Christmas tree.

The untangling process of Christmas lights almost ruins the entire festive period every year, even more so than having to spend over four days with your family.

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Luckily there are plenty of options when it comes to pre lit trees, ranging from tiny little ones to enormous (and quite expensive) choices.

Here are some of the best around to suit all budgets and sizes of home…

Argos Home 6ft Pre-Lit Half Christmas Tree – Green – £20 (reduced from £30)

John Lewis & Partners Spire Spruce Pre-lit Christmas Tree, 6ft – £99

Argos Home 6ft Pre-Lit Snow Tipped Christmas Tree – Green – £26.25

M&S 6Ft Lit Nordic Spruce Tree – £60

Argos Home Nordland 7ft Pre-Lit Christmas Tree – Green – £36.66 (reduced from £55)

Asda 5ft Pop-Up Pre-Lit LED Christmas Tree – Red and Gold Baubles – £25

Argos Home 1.5ft Pre-Lit Hessian Christmas Tree – Green – £9.38

Asda Multi Coloured Pre Lit 7.5ft Pine Christmas Tree – £120

Argos Home 7ft Nordic Fir Christmas Tree – Green – £99.99 (reduced from £150)

Asda Multi Coloured 6ft Pre Lit Christmas Tree – £25

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A black cab has been transformed into a ‘tampon taxi’ giving out sanitary products to homeless women.

Despite the good work it aimed to do, the artwork on the cab – a pink coating with imagery of bloodied tampons – was described as ‘offensive’ by three taxi agencies who refused to put it on their vehicles.

Regardless, the new one-off pink cab has been touring London since 20 November and will continue to do so until 19 December, giving out pads and tampons to those who need it.

The taxi is led by Project Period, an initiative bringing together like-minded charities, social action groups, experts and individuals to push for progressive policy on periods everywhere.

Leading the Project Period campaign is 31-year-old Londoner Holly Bantleman, who set it up after suffering from severe endometriosis in her 20s.

Holly told Metro.co.uk: ‘I was sitting at an outside bar in London earlier this year, and a pink taxi covered in bows went past. I’d just seen some illustrations of sanitary pads from one of our team, and thought that a taxi covered in period products would surely get people talking about global period poverty.

‘It’s a great way to get the public engaged in an issue that they may not know about, it’s a bit of a shock tactic for some people, but its working, the conversation online has been pretty electric.

‘We can’t talk action or put pressure on governments for progressive policy on periods if we can’t talk about them openly. Periods are often stigmatised, neglected and silent. These behaviours reinforce discrimination and inequality and have an impact on the lives of many girls, women and trans men, particularly related to their health and development.

‘Activists and experts are advancing a global movement to shift behaviours and attitudes towards periods in the UK and around the world. This moment represents a unique opportunity to join efforts and elevate the conversation on periods in order to drive people around the world to take action on issues surrounding them.

‘While we’re raising awareness of the issue of global period poverty we’re also rallying support to acknowledge that not everyone around the world has basic access to period products.’

You can find out more about the project here.

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You must know the shark song. Everyone alive knows the shark song.

On the small chance, you haven’t heard of it, we’ve kindly inserted it here so you can torture yourself with the song in your head for the rest of the day.

If, like bright-eyed and snot-nosed children everywhere, you like the catchy tune or know someone who does, you’ll be pleased to know that you can buy a cuddly toy version of it. Good news for everyone.

You can collect Mommy, Daddy and Baby Shark for a family sing-song that goes on forever and ever.

Produced by WowWee for Pinkfong – official creator of the global hit song Baby Shark – the stuffed animals don’t go on sale until 15 December. 

Make sure to jot down the date if you’re pretty keen on them because we have a feeling they’ll be pretty popular, if the viral song is anything to go by.

But bear in mind they cost more than your average squeeze toy, retailing between $49.99 (£39) to $69.99 (£54).

You can buy Mommy and Daddy Shark on Amazon but unfortunately, Baby Shark is off limits to the UK, so you won’t be able to get the full set.

If you are super keen on buying all three then you might want to opt for the Baby Shark cubes, smaller, cheaper versions of the toys (though not by much), at $30.99 (£24).

If you haven’t heard anything about the song but are immediately captivated then here are a few fun facts for you.

The song was created by Korean channel for kids called Pinkfong and quickly went viral. The original song currently has over two billion views on YouTube (though a lot of it was probably repeat views by users trying to pacify a child).

The song is such a hit that Simon Cowell’s hit talent show X Factor even opened with the ditty for its final episode.

Now go forth and sing the song for the remainder of the day.

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Every family has Christmas traditions and one of the most popular trends in recent years is to create a Christmas Eve box.

It’s thought to stem from the German tradition of opening presents on Christmas Eve, rather than Christmas Day.

Some might think it’s an unnecessary expense but others see it as a chance to get everyone in a festive mood before the big day.

For parents everywhere, picking up little bits for their boxes is a big part of their Christmas shopping.

You can add cosy and festive treats to give your kids a memorable evening.

But if you’ve never tried making one before, or if you just want to improve on last year’s, we have a few tips.

The box

If you want to save money, you can wrap an old cardboard box in some festive wrapping paper or try painting your own with supplied from Hobbycraft.

If you want something you can use again and again or just don’t trust your DIY skills, you can get a pre-made intricate box or crate to fill with goodies.

You can get a personalised wooden box from Getting Personal for £19.99.

Debenhams and Mothercare also have Christmas Eve boxes available in store or online.

Once you have the box, you need to think about what to put inside.

Obviously it’s up to you but we recommend a few essentials.

Pyjamas

Christmas pyjamas are everywhere this year and you’re going to want something as cosy as possible. This year, matching pyjamas for the whole family are in fashion so add a complimentary pair to each box and pick up some for yourself too.

Primark have matching Christmas themed pyjamas or if you want something you can wear after the festive season, you can pick up matching Harry Potter PJs.

Matalan, meanwhile, have a range of Peppa Pig pyjamas for the whole family labelled with Daddy Pig, Mummy Pig, George Pig and Peppa Pig.

Next have a whole range of different matching pyjama prints – our favourites are the penguins and the sprout prints.

Slippers

You need to keep your feet cosy too and we love a novelty Christmas slipper.

These elf slippers from Matalan are extremley cute and very festive.

Hot Chocolate

A milky drink is great to help you all drift off to sleep and get plenty of rest before the big day.

Pick up hot chocolate and marshmallows during your supermarket shop or try a hot chocolate stick, topped with marshmallows like the gnaw Hot Chocolate Shots.

They come in standard for kids and with a shot of alcohol for mum and dad to enjoy after the little ones have gone to bed.

Christmas snacks

Some Christmas themed chocolate and snacks to enjoy are a perfect addition to your box.

Try some Biscuiteers hand decorated biscuits, that can be posted through your letterbox.

Or if you want something a bit cheaper, pick up a decorate your own kit from Morrisons for £2.

A plate to leave out for Santa

You can create a personalised Santa board that you can use again and again, marked with the areas for a mince pie, a drink and a carrot for Rudolph, on Notonthehighstreet for £29.95.

A Christmas storybook

Before tucking the kids up in bed, get them ready for Santa with a festive story. Pick up a book with a Christmas theme like this one from M&S.

A Christmas Movie

Lots of parents like to include a Christmas DVD, which can be picked up online. If you have a Netflix or Amazon subscription, you might want to skip the DVD and just play the movie after opening the rest of the box.

You can put on your new pyjamas, get ready for Santa and curl up with hot chocolate and some snacks.

Or if you want, you can try a pre-made Christmas Eve box.

Aldi is selling one with activities for your little one for £7.99

Or there’s a selection of premium boxes here.

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Forget the Turner prize, today is also the day the results of the Turnip prize are revealed.

The competition, which turns 20 next year, celebrates some of the best satirical art.

It was set up in 1999 after Tracy Emin’s The Bed, won the prestigious Turner prize.

Management of The George Hotel, Wedmore, Somerset started the ‘crap art competition’ as a joke but it soon took off.

The prize is still running but now takes place at The New Inn.

Points are given for bad puns and a lack of effort and this year the most terrible piece was Collywobble – a sculpture of a border collie on some jelly.

It’s the work of a lavatory attendant from Wedmore.

THE WINNER: Collywobble

The shortlisted entries:

Creator Trevor Prideaux, 69, a retired author, said: ‘It’s 20-years-old this year, it’s not necessarily special – if we were to make an effort we’d be contradicting what it’s all about really.

‘From what I’ve been told, the standard of crap has been as high as ever, or as low as ever, depending on which way you want to look at it.

‘We’ve had over 90 entries, the finalists were picked by a judging panel comprising of the landlady, last years winner, and someone I left in charge while I went on holiday.

‘It began in 1999 when Tracey Emin was nominated for her unmade bed for the Turner Prize and we were so aghast that we decided to come up with our own competition

‘It’s about people to make the crappest piece of art with the least amount of effort possible.’

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One of the biggest contemporary art awards – the Turner Prize – has just named Charlotte Prodger as the 2018 winner.

Charlotte was announced the winner among three other notable nominees: Naeem Mohaiemen, Luke Willis Thompson and Forensic Architecture.

Charlotte’s work explored issues surrounding queer identity, landscape, language, technology and time.

She will now walk away with £25,000 as well as the esteemed reputation of being the winner of the best visual arts prize. Her peers also pocket £5,000 for being nominated.

Though the now coveted prize is considered pretty much the Baftas of the art world, the idea was met with resistance in its inception.

Since it launched in 1984 by the Tate’s Patrons of New Art it has become one of the biggest art accolades, being awarded to an artist under 50 who was born, is living or working in the UK who has had their work showcased anywhere in the world in the last year.

If you haven’t heard about the Turner Prize then just know that it’s a big deal. Previous awards have gone to now household names such as Grayson Perry, Damien Hirst, Jeremy Deller, and Gillian Wearing.

The same can be expected of the three contemporary artists and one collective made up of architects and investigative journalists.

Nominees Forensic Architecture use built environment to explore human rights violations, including the Grenfell Tower fire and migrant drownings in the Mediterranean.

Their work has been used in courts of law as well as exhibitions of art and architecture.

Naeem Mohaiemen’s work explores postcolonial identity, migration, exile, and refuge through narratives using fiction and social history that combine the traumas of history with his own family stories.

In his films, installations, and essays, he reflects on radical left politics from around the world, investigating memories of political utopias and the legacies of colonialism.

Charlotte Prodger deals with identity politics, particularly from a queer perspective. Using a range of technologies from old camcorders to iPhones, her films explore relationships between queer bodies, landscape, language, technology and time. ​​

Luke Willis Thompson studies grief in his work. He investigates the treatment of minority communities and the way objects, places and people can be imbued with violence.

Alex Farquharson, Director of Tate Britain said:’Following a thoughtful and rigorous debate, this year’s jury has chosen an outstanding group of artists, all of whom are tackling the most pressing political and humanitarian issues of today.

‘This shortlist highlights how important the moving image has become in exploring these debates. We are looking forward to what will be a dynamic and absorbing exhibition.’

You can see the winner and all the nominee’s films at Tate Britain until 6 January 2019. Details of tickets are here.

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Millennials do love to ruthlessly murder things.

We’ve torn apart Christmas traditions, shoved marmalade out of a window, and even murdered lunch.

Today’s death at the hands of millennials: canned tuna.

Yes, millennials. We have brine on our hands.

The Wall Street Journal reports that consumption of canned tuna has dropped 42% in the last three decades, stating that classic tins of fish are fighting to stay relevant to us trend-obsessed millennials. Just 32% of people aged 18 to 34 recently bought canned fish, compared with 45% of those over the age of 55.

Apparently us younger types prefer the idea of fresh, less-processed options. But we’re also accused of laziness (as always), as younger people can’t be bothered to faff around opening cans.

One vice president of marketing and innovation accused millennials of failing to own can openers.

I would be offended by such an accusation, but I left my tin opener at a friend’s house and yesterday my boyfriend had to stab a can of chickpeas. Classic millennial fun.

Another factor in tuna’s declining popularity among the young ‘uns: The smell.

You can’t deny it: Tune has a strong, fishy smell. In a culture where we often need to have our lunch at our desks, tucking into a tuna sandwich doesn’t seem like the wisest – or kindest – option.

It’s also not remotely Instagram-worthy. You try taking a decent picture of a tuna salad.

So, millennials are killing the canned tuna industry without a care in the world (apart from caring about fish. Perhaps the rise of veganism and vegetarianism, plus an increased awareness of ocean pollution, could be playing a part in our reluctance to down tins of tuna?).

Don’t worry, though, as brands have a plan.

That plan is pouches.

Yep, pouches. Like the ones you find packaging cat food.

Major manufacturer StarKist places its hopes in pouches of tuna with ‘trendy flavours’, such as Spicy Korean Style and Hot Buffalo. We can’t wait to see a tuna pouch designed to be mashed up with avocado and smothered on toast. It’s inevitable.

Other brands hope to market tuna as an easy snack (millennials love snacks) by selling it with crackers or placing it in the aisles of cereal bars and crisps.

But will that be enough to keep another industry from millennials’ bloodthirsty hands?

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It’s all fun and games until a medical expert says you’re destroying your body.

Nearly nine in ten people are guilty of unhealthy habits that may lead us to our early deaths, a new report from Health Survey for England suggests.

Just 13% of those surveyed were found to be leading healthy lives, meaning that 87% of Brits are making at least one unhealthy lifestyle choice.

Those unhealthy lifestyle choices include boozing it up, smoking, failing to eat five portions of fruit or vegetables a day, having low levels of physical activity, or being classed as obese.

87% of English adults were doing at least one of these naughty things, while 19% held three or more unhealthy habits.

At least we’re not alone in plodding along to an early grave, right?

Alongside highlighting just how many of us are making unhealthy choices, the research looked at our overall public health.

The survey found that 64% of adults are overweight or obese, and that 5% of women and 2% of men are classed as morbidly obese – meaning they had a BMI of more than 40. Back in 1993, when the survey began, just 1% of women were classed as morbidly obese.

Researchers noted that children with obese parents are more likely to be obese themselves, with 28% of children of an obese mother also being classed as obese, compared with 8% of children with a mother who was not overweight or obese.

The survey also found that a high rate of people have undiagnosed diabetes. Researchers gathered information on 8,000 adults and 2,000 children, including taking blood sugar measurements. 20% of adults with diabetes were found to be undiagnosed.

Diabetes has been on the rise over the last decade, going from 3% of men in 1994 to 8% in 2017.

The majority of us aren’t consuming the recommended five portions of fruit and vegetables – just 29% of adults and 18% of children aged two to 15 are ticking off that target.

On a more positive note, it does look like smoking and drinking to excess are decreasing in popularity. In 1993 27% of adults were smokers, now just 17% are, and the numbers of children trying alcohol have dropped from 45% in 2003 to 14% in 2017.

Yes, the majority of us need to make some changes. But the good news is that it’s not too late to get healthy.

While most of us are living unhealthy lifestyles, four in ten adults have no signs of ill health developing… yet.

Load up on fruit and veg, ditch the booze, quit smoking, and try to get more physical activity in your day. Basically, do what you know you’re supposed to be doing.

We chose our kids. Four wonderful characters, all special in their own way, and three of them have additional needs.

Like a shopping list of different abilities, our kids’ conditions range from Down’s syndrome to cerebral palsy, epilepsy to global delay.

We didn’t have to face that initial feeling of fear, grief or sadness that some parents are said to go through when they find out they are going to have a disabled child.

We were lucky that our children needed a family, we chose them and they chose us – special needs and all.

My husband Kyle and I didn’t make a conscious decision to adopt disabled children.

We wanted to adopt a child, and it just so happened that our first little boy had cerebral palsy. We saw him and fell in love with this little boy – not his disability.

From there, we realised that there were many children in care just because they were disabled, and because we had positive attitudes towards disability, we were proactively matched with other children who also had disabilities.

But life as two dads with four children, three of whom are disabled, is not always an easy journey. Sure, there is absolute delight and a sense of wonder experienced every day.

Each time a belly laugh is shared between the four siblings we reach for the phone to record the special moment for all time.

However, there are daily challenges we face that can turn us from laid-back dads, to warrior parents – needing to fight for the basic rights of our children.

Contact with strangers is always unpredictable. We get: ‘What a shame,’ and ‘What’s wrong with him?’. Lingering stares and tilted heads face us whenever we go out as a family.

It’s unsurprising to us that research conducted by the charity Scope shows that 87% of parents with a disabled child up to the age of five have felt judged by members of the public when they go out together.

We have learnt to deal with the pity and awkwardness with humour and education.

When looking at our severely disabled little boy, with a funny shaped head, a tube coming out of his tummy, the wheelchair, and on occasions, the faint smell of a nappy (or pad) that needs changing, questions often come up.

We let people know, firmly, but with a smile that he’s absolutely fine, and there’s nothing wrong with him. He just happens to have cerebral palsy.

We then wiggle Curly’s arms, or give him a tickle, and the chuckle radiating from that beautiful face always relaxes and gives a sense of relief to those showing their awkwardness.  

The research also shows that 29% of the British public feel uncomfortable and awkward around disabled children. Hopefully that beautiful laugh will go some way to reducing these feelings.  

Strangers don’t need to be awkward or show pity. Our kids are still kids – they might be a bit different to other people’s children but they still have the same feelings, and a non-judgmental smile goes a long way.

Dealing with ‘professionals’ can be especially tough. While the majority of the many people we work with to keep our children happy and healthy are absolutely amazing, there are a few that make our blood boil.

There have been a number of people who have talked about Curtis’s end-of-life plan, or what we were going to do when he dies, not in a sensitive and supportive way, but actually in front of Curtis, as if he already wasn’t there.

It always fills us with a sense of disgust. We know that our little boy does not have the same life expectancy as other children but how dare anyone talk about this in front of our child.

We always respond to inappropriate, uneducated discussions with a stern shutdown.

The fights, the challenge, the injustices all are worth it though. It’s not a ‘shame’ that we have disabled children. People don’t need to be awkward around our family.  

We live life to the very fullest, we do everything we want to do, and disability is never our self-imposed barrier. Life is really good, and each time the warrior dad needs to fight for the rights of his children, it only makes every single joyful experience a much sweeter one.

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Welcome to Mixed Up, a new series looking at the highs, lows and unique experiences of being mixed-race.

Mixed-race is the fastest-growing ethnic group in the UK. It means your parents hail from two (or more) different ethnicities, leaving you somewhere in the middle.

In 2001, when the ‘mixed’ categories were first introduced to the national census, mixed-race people made up 1.3% of the population. Fast-forward 10 years, and that figure almost doubles to 2.3%.

It’s a trajectory that’s unlikely to slow down.

Alongside the unique pleasures and benefits of being exposed to multiple cultures, being mixed comes with complexities, conflicts and innate contradictions.

For many, it’s about occupying two identities simultaneously, reconciling the differences and trying to carve out a space to exist between the two.

The mainstream understanding of being mixed-race most often refers to people who are white and black Caribbean, or white and black African. But the voices of the mixed-race diaspora extend far beyond this.

Mixed Up is a new series that aims to elevate those voices, look deeper at the nuanced realities of being mixed-race and provide an insight into the inner workings of this rapidly growing ethnic group.

Austin Saturday is a marketing apprentice living in London. His Mum is Vietnamese and his Dad is from Essex.

‘My English grandparents are both from Essex, and my Mum’s parents are both from Vietnam, but my Grandma is half French, so we all inherited slightly fairer skin from her,’ Austin tells Metro.co.uk.

‘I guess the family dynamics have always been a bit weird. All of my Vietnamese family are actually in the UK, most of them are in London.

‘But most of my family from Essex now live in Spain – they’re in places like Alicante, some of them have retired there. So it’s a weird dynamic in that way, especially at the Christmas holidays. Having roast duck with the family one day, and then going over to the Essex family for their Three Kings Day – these Spanish traditions that they’ve inherited.’

For Austin, the way he looks is completely at odds with his experience. He looks more Asian than he feels.

‘There’s a lot of expectations and stereotypes that go along with looking “oriental”,’ Austin explains. ‘I don’t speak Vietnamese, I don’t read or write in the language. My connection feels quite skin-deep I guess.

‘I feel like I grew up as a sort-of British/Asian – but I’m not part of any of the communities. Our Vietnamese family aren’t really in any of the communities either.

‘There are plenty of reasons for that, but it does mean that I’ve sort of grown up without many other Asian friends or influences in my life.’

Austin has found that the few Asian influences he does have in his life aren’t the most welcoming. In fact, he says it’s near-impossible to infiltrate these groups if you don’t have direct connections.

‘I wish I had more of a connection with that side of my heritage. It’s definitely a weird point that comes up when I meet people from those communities – they’re very cliquey.

‘The Asian community is really not very open at all, If you can’t speak the language, if you don’t already know people, then you’re just sort of written off – and that’s why my family aren’t really involved with them.

‘That’s just my experience growing up, but it’s hard to see how I would be able to make those inroads into those worlds.’

The way Austin looks gives him an opening – he is allowed to enter these exclusive groups because he looks the part, but it never goes much further than that.

‘I feel like I might get away with it a bit, because I look sort-of Asian, but very quickly I get a, “not one of us” vibe from them, and you can’t help but feel that distance, that I’m not properly in their groups.

‘Most people I know are one thing or the other. But when I do find another mixed person, there’s like a weird understanding. I’ll just know that for both of us, things have been a bit weird growing up.’

But it hasn’t been a consistent experience for Austin’s entire family. He says both his siblings have experienced their heritage in starkly different ways.

‘I’ve got a big sister and a little brother. They’ve got a lot of different opinions about what it means to be mixed-race. My little brother hasn’t had much of an issue – whereas my sister and I have always been much more aware of the complications.

‘Especially my sister. It’s different for a guy, sometimes I’ll get the wrong end of some Asian jokes, but for her – for an Asian woman, it’s much more intense.

‘I guess sometimes people are trying to be friendly, but she’s definitely experienced a lot of racism. And the whole dating side of things for her is really hard.’

It’s a difficult thing for Austin to acknowledge about his sister – but he’s talking about fetishization. The extreme sexualisation of Asian women by white men. It’s incredibly common and really belittling for the women to experience.

‘There are some guys who are just overly keen towards a specific type of skin colour and a specific type of look. It’s something my mum gets as well,’ Austin explains, carefully.

‘They call themselves “rice kings” apparently, or they say they have “yellow fever” – they have this whole thing for Asian women and it’s super creepy and just pretty offensive to be honest. And it’s something the women in my family come up against a lot.’

And offensive sexual stereotypes aren’t the only problem when it comes to dating.

‘Within Asian communities, there are still a lot of people who are just really closed-minded about dating. They will say they’re only into people with the same background as them. There’s really not much in the way of branching out or mixing.’

Austin really wants to feel closer to his heritage, to understand more about what really makes him who he is. But he doesn’t think there’s an easy way to do it.

‘Rectifying the disconnect that I feel is something that I definitely want to do – particularly as I get older. But it’s difficult to understand what exactly I want out of it,’ he tells us.

‘What do I want beyond what I already have with my family?

‘But I do want to be able to say that I know a bit more about my heritage and where I come from. Because currently, my heritage is a bit of a mystery – we’re half from Vietnam, but there’s a lot about our background that is a bit muddled, that we don’t fully understand.

‘For example, we don’t know exactly where our grandparents really grew up – and we’re probably going to miss out on that information totally now, we will never find that out, we won’t be able to go and see where they grew up.

‘Asking about Vietnam is a touchy subject with my grandparents, because they fled as refugees during the war.’

And beyond the painful, political history, there’s also the practical barrier of lost or destroyed records. It’s hard to piece together your family history if nothing is written down.

‘A lot of those records are lost. My mum has two birthdays – because they translated from different calendars, so she doesn’t even know which is her real birthday. That happened with some of my aunties as well.

‘It’s not all bad – she celebrates both, and gets presents on both days, so that’s pretty cool.’

Despite the divisions in certain areas, Austin is close to his immediate family – he says it’s laughter that brings them together.

‘When you’re mixed you can get away with a lot of self-deprecating humour about your ethnicity – there’s a lot of that in my family, and we use it to bring us closer.

‘So my Uncle used to always make jokes about being a communist – he’s not, but he would do it just to really wind up my Granddad. It’s these jokes that help us feel like we can connect to other people who are Asian – it gives us a bit of common ground.

‘And there’s loads about the different cultures that I enjoy as well. Recently went as a family to the Lantern Festival, at this massive Thai temple in Wimbledon, it was a huge celebration and a really nice thing to do as a family. But then equally we do have more English traditions as well.

‘There are plenty of traditions and family moments that are unique to each side of my family. The huge Christmas stockings from my Dad’s side and the little red envelopes from my Mum’s side.

‘Living with my Mother’s side of the family, I learned a lot of different Vietnamese recipes. It’s the best food in the world, and, while I can also make a mean roast, nothing beats a good pot of rice with Thịt kho.’

Austin wants people to realise that his identity is more than how he looks. It’s a combination of factors that made him who he is, of which, ethnicity is only one.

‘Being mixed-race doesn’t completely define you as a person. What makes you is a lot about where you grow up, a lot about where you were raised – not just your ethnicity or skin colour.

‘Growing up in Britain, with a single mum, it was really quite different to the experience of growing up in a “regular” Asian household.

‘But then at the same time, we were never completely British, not like everybody else.’

These feelings of confusion have led to Austin avoiding the issue of race. He’s taken drastic action to try to limit the awkward conversations he has to have.

‘I’ve stopped using my second name, my Vietnamese name, and I go by one of my middle names instead. I don’t think either side of my heritage defines who I am, so I choose not to use my mother’s or father’s last names.

‘Using my Vietnamese name brings up a slightly different conversation, one that I’m basically tired of having. I usually do my best to navigate away from those conversations – it’s not usual for me to speak openly or candidly about race at all.

‘I just know much about it. Beyond the mind-numbing, “where are you from?” question, what can I actually say about my Vietnamese heritage?

‘Not much. And that’s quite a difficult thing, and I think that could be difficult for a lot of mixed people. If you grow up with one family and don’t know much about your other side – it can be really difficult when people make certain presumptions about you.

‘Mixed-race people face a variety of challenges that are unique to them. We slip into an ethnically ambiguous area that often comes with more questions than answers.’

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It’s probably really tough being beautiful… And I’m not even being sarcastic.

You maybe get a lot of unwanted attention (although I think a lot of us can relate to being catcalled etc, even on our ‘ugly’ days) and perhaps aren’t taken as seriously due to your looks.

There is also a huge privilege there, however, and it can create blind spots when it comes to realising how the average person lives.

This was highlighted recently on social media, when actress, model, and presenter Jameela Jamil slammed her fellow celebrities for using airbrushing apps to doctor their pictures.

She told the BBC: ‘I would like to put airbrushing in the bin. I want it gone. I want it out of here.’

Aside from the fact ‘get in the bin’ should be a phrase consigned solely to twee centrist dads, the point that airbrushing isn’t the best thing is fair enough (sort of).

I mean, I remember when I first read Caitlin Moran and wanted to take on the patriarchy one #fuckyourbeautystandards post and Ruth Bader Ginsburg pin at a time.

It’s probably something I would have wholeheartedly gotten behind at one point; the toxicity of the Instagram aesthetic is real, and can be damaging to young girls no doubt.

But then you think a bit harder and realise that banning airbrushing, as is the will of Jamil, doesn’t do anything to change the beauty standards that still exist.

We all live our lives fully aware of the fact cellulite exists on everyone from Kardashian to cashier, or that people aren’t born with eyelash extensions and we’ll all likely get stretchmarks at some point.

The paradigm of what is beautiful is ever-present, though, and airbrushing gives us the tools to make our skin a little clearer on our profile picture or get rid of that stain on our teeth that’s been bugging us for years.

Jameela Jamil might very well say it creates a false image of ourselves in our minds. But, it’s pretty easy for her to say that, isn’t it?

She’s a conventionally beautiful model, who stars in US TV shows and is featured on magazine covers.

I understand that she’s had difficulties in the past, and tabloids have come after her in horrific ways. There’s no excuse for that whatsoever.

Could you ever see a picture of her, though, and think that you weren’t looking at a traditionally extremely attractive woman? No.

No wonder, then, that she doesn’t see a need for airbrushing.

If the rest of us – with our own list of insecurities and body woes – were to delete FaceTune from our phones today, there would be no revelation.

There would be no change in the amount of girls looking to get cosmetic surgery, or hospital admissions due to eating disorders.

Women who wear make-up are not the problem. Women who use tattoos or surgery to make themselves look how they wish? Also not the problem.

Models with unattainable bodies would still walk the runways, and there would still be shelves full of products to make us tighter, brighter, and lighter.

That’s because beauty has always been an industry based on modifying ourselves; from the bound feet of Ancient China to the corseted bodies of Edwardian England.

We’d have more luck if we dismantled capitalism, but that’s another story for another day.

What I essentially mean is, with the world being as it is, all banning airbrushing would do is lay us bare without any control of the images we put out there.

You want to see more spots? What if I don’t want people to see my spots? It’s down to me.

I had always believed that celebrities had a duty to the public to act as role models for the young people they look up to. But we’re all only human, trying to look and feel our best.

Women who wear make-up are not the problem. Women who use tattoos or surgery to make themselves look how they wish? Also not the problem.

Go after the corporations feeding us ideals and change the system, rather than picking on the lowest common denominator who has been fed the same ideals since birth (Jameela actually said this in relation to Khloe Kardashian, but the next day came for Cardi B and Iggy Azalea among others, which really defeated the point).

It’s reductive and boring to suggest that anyone that chooses to change themselves is some ‘double agent of the patriarchy’ who wants to make people feel bad about themselves. Perhaps they just want to feel nice, and that’s something we can all relate to.

The fact of privilege is that it forces people to forget that their own situation is not that of everyone.

Jameela, for example, has a project called I Weigh, which takes submissions from people on what they value about themselves outside of their physical beauty.

I find this a hard pill to swallow in general, as I believe that it’s extremely easy for people to distance themselves from their bodies when their bodies aren’t considered political.

Being pretty or sexy or desired aren’t just about the patriarchy – for trans people or fat people or people whose bodies have been societally maligned forever, feeling attractive in your own skin is part of survival.

It also puts the onus on the self, suggested that if you are worried about your exterior it’s your personal values at fault rather than those of the Western world.

I love the idea that we’re all complex individuals and should stop obsessing over weight, but when you speak about beauty standards without considering agency then that takes away any nuance.

Many of Jameela’s statements have drawn comparisons with sex work exclusionary feminism; painting porn or sometimes sex in general as a patriarchal tool used to oppress women and nothing more. This is because – despite ‘good intentions’ it’s far too black and white.

Not everybody who looks or acts a certain way is doing so because of men, and while critiques of the sex and beauty industries are absolutely necessary to make life better for us all, placing people into good and bad boxes is so entry-level it hurts (and hurts women in the long term).

Can’t we just let people live their sexy, made-up, airbrushed, surgeried lives and give them the tools to improve themselves mentally and physically however they wish?

There’s an icky feeling I get in my stomach when I see someone talking down to ‘the wrong kind of women’ because they’re not fighting the patriarchy every damn day. Especially when you’re a #bossbabe with legs longer than the walk from Victoria tube to the coach station, it’s extremely patronising.

Yes, perhaps we should all be happier with what we’ve got. In the meantime, I’d like to be able to get rid of my stretchmarks as I see fit, thanks.

Teach your kids about laxative teas and photo editing and fatphobia. But also stop telling adults that they’re out of order for existing within the screwed up world they cannot get out of.

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