Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and if you are single, it’s hard feeling like everyone is loved up.
But just because you haven’t met someone, doesn’t mean you can’t experience some self-love.
Anti-engagement rings are a new trend to help you celebrate yourself.
Instead of placing it on your ring finger, you wear the self-love ring on the pinky.
The concept was created by American brand Fred and Far.
(Picture: Fred and Far)
Creator Melody Godfred explained: ‘By the beginning of 2015, I had hit every milestone I had ever dreamed of: a great career, husband, kids, a home.
‘And yet, I was lost, unhappy, and disconnected from my true, authentic self due to a profound lack of self love and self care.
‘I desperately needed a bold, beautiful daily reminder to choose, honor and remember myself. So I created one.
‘This is how the very first Self Love Pinky Ring came to be. I never set out to start a business. I set out to change my own life. Since this was the biggest commitment of my lifetime, I wanted it to be to as significant in style as an engagement ring.
‘I wore it on a finger I had never worn a ring on before, my pinky, because I wanted this ring to make a bold statement that was instantly recognizable.’
(Picture: Fred and Far)
The rings use an inverted triangle as an emblem because Melody says ‘it is an ancient symbol of the divine feminine (look down and you’ll understand why)’, while the colour red is used to ‘inspire and represent power.’
Each ring comes with a card called a ‘Pinky Promise’ card that states ‘I pinky promise to honour myself, choose myself, to remember myself on a daily basis.’
So forget waiting for the one and give yourself your dream proposal.
Caption: Zara has a new logo and people are not keen
Zara has updated its website and social media accounts with a brand new, curvier logo – and lots of people are less than impressed.
The new look logo – designed by the Baron & Baron agency – places the four letters much closer together, overlapping in places.
And it turns out customers are not happy about the letters being so cramped.
Ever heard of personal space Zara? Apparently not.
And the response online has been almost overwhelmingly damning.
(Picture: Zara)
‘Zara’s new logo is like someone had popped up Photoshop, selected a random serif font and started to play with the letter spacing tool,’ wrote one Twitter user.
‘It looks cramped & makes me anxious,’ said another.
As well as the overlapping letters, there’s now a curve that has been added to the bottom of the Z and the R, which some people says makes it hard to read.
And it has left some people speculating about just how far the fashion brand will go with future logo redesigns.
It seems people really just like spaces between their letters.
‘Not a fan of Zara’s new logo, it feels constricting and is almost illegible,’ said one critic. Another added, ‘seriously #ZARA, what the hell?? You forgot the spaces!’
The fashion retailer changed its logo in 2010, but the change was seamlessly accepted by consumers as it was very similar to the previous one.
Zara have been contacted for comment about the new logo design.
These are the most stressed areas in London (Picture: Babylon Health)
London is stressful, right? Busy tubes, too many people, lots of noise.
But apparently some bits of London are more stressful than others.
A new study by Babylon Health, which analysed five million tweets across the UK for signs of stress, shows that Barking and Dagenham is the most stressed borough in the capital.
Apparently the most stressful time there is Tuesday afternoon.
Other places which showed high levels of stress included Croydon, Harrow and Islington.
(Picture: Babylon Health)
The least stressed areas, according to the study, were Tower Hamlets, City of London, City of Westminster and Hounslow.
Outside London, Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, Cardiff and Hartlepool in Co. Durham are the most stressed.
Woking, Surrey and Oxford are apparently the least stress.
The National Stress website explains: ‘From traffic jams to financial worries, modern life can be stressful. We’ve analysed over 5 million tweets across the UK and US to find out where people are most likely to tweet with words relating to stress, frustration and anxiety.’
Trans activist and model Munroe Bergdorf has launched a Valentine’s lingerie campaign after Victoria’s Secret said they would not use trans models.
The #LoveYourself campaign with Bluebella lingerie, aims to promote greater diversity in fashion for race and LGBTQ+.
It’s Munroe’s first ever lingerie campaign since having feminising surgery, and she hopes the move will help to to redefine sensuality and promote body positivity for all women.
Munroe believes that although lots of brands talk about being pro-diversity, many aren’t actually practicing what they preach.
(Picture: Caters News Agency)
‘What’s so amazing about lingerie is that it can really emphasise your own femininity,’ explains Munroe.
‘I’m proud to be part of a campaign that is encouraging all women to feel empowered and sexy in their own ways, on their own terms. I’ve never felt so sure of myself or as empowered as a human being as I do now.
‘It has taken a long time to get to this point where I just feel calmness.
‘In the early stages of transition I was scared of the masculine parts of my body but it has changed so much during the process.
‘I’m now in a position where I don’t care about other people’s opinions on my appearance. I care about the opinions of the people that matter to me, but not so much of people walking down the street.
‘If someone knows I’m trans I don’t feel ashamed of that any more. I think it’s something to celebrate and it’s a part of me.’
(Picture: Caters News Agency)
Victoria’s Secret chief marketing officer Ed Razek, had said the brand didn’t think ‘transsexuals’ should be part of its annual fashion show. He later apologised for his ‘insensitive’ comments and said trans models would be considered.
‘I think it’s a big shame that Victoria’s Secret decided not to be inclusive of trans women within their shows or campaigns,’ says Munroe.
‘Lingerie should be something that all women can enjoy. It’s something personal, beautiful and intimate that is a celebration of femininity, something that every woman should have the option of being included in.
‘I’m proud to be working with Bluebella, a lingerie company created by women, that champions diversity of shape, race, gender and ability. True diversity is the future, let’s leave any form of discrimination or exclusion in the past.’
The #LoveYourself campaign will also be using other diverse models to showcase the range including a fire-eater with burns on her face and torso, a Londoner with albinism and a Serbian model with extensive tattoos.
Albino actress and model Joanne Dion (Picture: Caters News Agency)
Fire-eater Sophie Lee (Picture: Caters News Agency)
Elisabetta Soskic (Picture: Caters News Agency)
The new range goes up to a size 38DD, and is available now, but with lots of sizes already selling out, you’ll have to be quick to get your hands on the popular pieces.
It’s the Chinese year of the pig, and M&S have decided to honour the event by giving one of its most popular sweets a mini-makeover.
Percy’s going fizzy or more accurately, a part of him is – M&S has chopped off the little rosy piglet’s tail and is selling these as separate sweets, made from the original recipe of berry juice with a sour twist.
We’re fairly certain Percy’s OK, and still happily married (don’t forget, he got hitched last year to celebrate his 25th anniversary).
Although the phizzy tails product has been around for a while, this appears to be a new limited edition version.
It costs the same as the original at £1.65, and is available while stocks last in your local M&S shop.
But there’s also a bargain deal at the moment, with two packets for £3.
(Picture: Marks & Spencer)
If you want to get your hands on the new product, you might want to be quick. He’s a popular fella – M&S sells 300 million Percy Pig sweets per year, the equivalent of 10 per second.
That’s why we’ll eat up any daily routine shared by someone who appears to fit all those classic definitions of success.
Read enough of those daily routines, and you’ll notice a trend: It starts to feel like every mega-successful person wakes up at the crack of dawn to get sh*t done.
Anna Wintour wakes up at around 4am each day and is on the tennis court for 6am. Apple CEO Tim Cook starts his day at 3.45am.
There’s a message here being hammered into our sleepy brains: Wake up early or you’re never going to be successful.
But is that genuinely the case?
Short answer: No.
Early wake-ups are held up as superior not because they automatically have greater benefits for our health and productiveness, but because of the way our working culture is structured.
Lie-ins are seen as typical of lazy teenagers, waking up late is synonymous with the aggravation of begging your child to hurry up and get out of bed so they can get to school on time.
Then when we reach the working world, we’re shoved into offices that start the day at eight or nine and finish at five. Lateness is seen as a sign of laziness, disrespect, and poor time-keeping, so waking up late is, too.
So if lateness is bad, being early is good – and that applies to when you wake up, too. The early bird catches the worm, and all that. Someone who wakes up early is seen as someone who has their life together, who never has to run for a bus or hit the snooze button.
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
But the fact of the matter is this: Some of us are designed to wake up early, others are not. Forcing those of us in the latter category to get up at the crack of dawn won’t make us automatically better and more skilled at our jobs. Instead, it could have a detrimental effect.
Steve Ryan, sleep expert at Nectar Sleep, explains that your mind and body will always perform best when you stick to your body’s natural sleeping pattern – whether that means being a late riser or jumping out of bed before sunrise.
‘To be able to optimise your working day and productivity based on your sleeping habits, it’s first important to understand whether you have a morning or evening chronotype,’ Steve tells Metro.co.uk. ‘Put simply, that means are you a lark (more active in morning and gets tired throughout the day) or an owl (struggles to rise but then receives an energy boost late afternoon/evening)?
‘For larks – a 6.30am start may be optimum when their brain is in full swing. To add a further boost of productivity this could be preceded by a workout. Dependant on caffeine intake throughout the day – an hour break outside could provide the perfect boost before fishing up between 1-2pm.
‘For owls – almost the direct opposite is true. Typically, they need much longer to rise and really would be better of having some extra time in bed. In this situation 1pm start may well be recommended, with a 5-6pm finish. Again, plenty of breaks should be taken throughout the day.’
The issue with forcing your natural owl sleeping pattern into a 4am wakeup is that you might not be able to drift off early enough at night, leading to sleep deprivation. It’s crucial for your health and your productivity to get enough sleep – not to wake up at a certain time.
That’s something a lot of super successful people don’t mention: skipping parties and being in bed before 9pm so they can make sure they have enough sleep. An early wake-up time does require going to bed early, too. Otherwise you’ll be running on a sleep deficit, which could lead to a higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and a compromised immune system.
‘For some, an early start to the working day comes naturally and those people may jump out of bed ready for the day ahead, however, it is likely they’ll have gone to bed earlier and gained enough hours of full REM in order to feel this way,’ explains Steve.
‘Providing you are getting your recommended seven to nine hours of uninterrupted sleep, there shouldn’t be a reason as to why you wouldn’t benefit from waking up at 4am and starting your day. In fact, this is common practise for many shift workers up and down the country.
‘If you make sudden changes to your sleep routine such as waking up 1-2 hours earlier to start work at 6am, you need to be careful.
‘Symptoms most commonly associated with jetlag (nausea and fatigue) may rear their head as your body struggles to adapt to the change.’
In his book, Why We Sleep, neuroscientist Matthew Walker doesn’t declare that one wake-up time is correct, instead simply suggesting that people stick to a routine.
‘If there’s one thing that you take away from this, it would be going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time, no matter whether it’s the weekday or the weekend,’ he writes. ‘Even if you’ve had a bad night of sleep, still wake up at the same time of day and reset.’
He doesn’t offer any benefits to waking up early, either, instead simply listing off the importance of getting enough sleep every night.
Essentially, there’s no scientific basis to the idea that waking up early will make you more successful – simply anecdotes from some successful people who also happen to be morning people.
Plus, in case this is reassuring, there are plenty of successful people who aren’t up super early.
Signs you're a night owl:
You feel most creative at night
You find it easy to stay up really late
You feel rubbish early in the morning, even if you’ve had plenty of sleep
You find it really difficult to go to sleep early
Emma Gannon, author, writer, and podcaster, tells us she’s a late riser – ‘I don’t really ever get up before 9am’.
Pharrell Williams wakes up without an alarm clock at around 9am.
Mark Zuckerburg is up by 8am – not extremely late, but at a time when a bunch of other CEOs are already four hours into their day.
So don’t panic if you struggle to get out of bed and go for a run as dawn breaks. You are not a terrible, lazy person destined for failure. Instead you might just be a night owl, and your efforts would be better spent adjusting your day to fit your sleeping needs than trying to force yourself into a new routine.
Remember: You can get just as much done as the 4am crowd… just at a different time. If you find yourself feeling productive at 1pm, run with it. Feel energised at 6pm? It’s fine to save your gym session for then.
The key is working with your body, not against it, and making a decent amount of high quality sleep a priority. Feel free to show this article to your boss as evidence you should start work at 11am, too.
You might imagine your perfect proposal on a romantic beach or in fancy restaurant – but have you ever considered your local Greggs?
Probably not.
For this couple though, it was the perfect location.
Nothing like agreeing to spend your life with someone over a cup of tea and a sausage roll.
Nick Sawyer proposed to his partner Carolyn Bennett in a branch of the bakery in Wolverhampton on 27 Jan.
Carolyn, 51, had lived opposite Nick in Finchfield, Wolverhampton, for a decade but it was only after eight years that he finally plucked up the courage to ask her out.
After two years together, Nick decided the time was right to ask her to marry him – and he didn’t want to hang around.
Nick Sawyer and Carolyn Bennett (Picture Caters News)
When they started talking about marriage, we went to the jeweller next door to their local Greggs branch, picked out a ring and then sat down with Carolyn and a sausage roll and asked her to marry him.
Nick, 61 said he had considered waiting for a more ‘appropriate’ moment to hand over the diamond ring but decided the time was right.
The dad-of-two and grandad-of-three said: ‘I had just been in the jeweler next door, and afterwards we went into Greggs and had a cup of tea and a sausage roll.
‘We had talked about marriage, so it was just a case of when the proposal was going to happen.
‘I knew Carolyn didn’t want a big party, so while we were in Greggs I pulled out the ring and said “shall I put it on now?”
‘I didn’t actually get down on one knee, but she was still very happy.’
Teaching assistant Carolyn added: ‘We’ve been going to Greggs a lot recently – it’s friendly and reasonably priced.
Nick and Carolyn have been together for two years (Picture: Caters News)
‘We had discussed getting married, but I wasn’t expecting it quite then.
‘Nick got the ring out while we were sat in Greggs and asked me if I wanted to wait, but I said I wanted to have it now.
‘But it wasn’t about the location so much, it’s about the meaning of the proposal.
‘It’s about the two of us, we just wanted to do it for us and so that was how we did it.
‘It made us realise you’ve just got to go for it. It was always the plan it was just getting round to it.
Struggling to think of a good gift for Valentine’s?
This year, you can embrace your narcissistic side and get your lover a replica of your head, made from chocolate and covered in gold dust (sadly not the real kind).
Created by confectionary specialists Candy Mechanics, the quirky product is known as a ‘lolpop’ and can usually be bought online.
But, to celebrate the season of love, the brand is launching a temporary pop-up at Selfridges. Swing by the Smartech flagship store and have your head 3D scanned, and carved into a miniature lollipop.
It’s potentially not an experience for shy introverts, as the process is done live in-store in front of customers and takes around five minutes.
Choose from white, milk or dark Belgian chocolate, and munch away or wrap it up for your love. The dark option is vegan.
(Picture: Candy Mechanics)
The lolpops cost £10, but you’ll get a free one if you make a purchase in the store.
‘We’re delighted to be bringing such a playful experience into Selfridges,’ said Natalie Bernce from Smartech.
‘We wanted to offer something different this Valentine’s and CandyMechanics were the perfect partner with their cutting-edge personalisation technology. The chocolate heads are cheeky, delicious and bespoke.’
If you want to get a replica of your significant other, you can also take a sneaky video of their face and send it in to the ‘mechanics’ online.
A man who was born with no limbs has become a break dancer as a way of making friends.
19-year-old Gabe Adams was born with Hanhart syndrome, a rare medical condition characterised by underdeveloped limbs, mouth and jaw.
In Gabe’s case, none of his limbs grew at all.
Gabe, born in Sao Paulo, Brazil, was adopted by American parents Janelle and Ron Adams, and was brought to the US as a baby, growing up with 13 siblings in Kaysville, Utah.
At school Gabe tried out for the dance team as a way of making friends – discovering he could use his limbless body to his advantage in the art of break dancing.
After graduating from high school he has continued to prove his independence, moving out of the family home and embarking on a career as a motivational speaker.
Gabe said: ‘I think one of the common questions that I get would be, “is your life hard? Do you wish you had limbs?” And I guess my response would be, no my life isn’t hard.
(Picture: Sohrab Mirmont / Barcroft Media)
‘The one thing that I have taught myself, and others, is that life is only hard when you make it hard and if I am gonna make it hard then that is on me. But if I am gonna make it easier then it is going to be way easier to live.
‘Do I ever wish I had limbs? Of course. But I know that I don’t have arms and legs for a reason so I am just gonna live my life as I can.’
From a young age Gabe started using a wheelchair but his parents were determined that their son would be as independent as possible.
Dad, Ron, said: ‘The biggest concern as a parent obviously was how we raise a son with no arms, no legs, to be independent. That was our biggest concern. Some day, he is going to be more on his own. He is going to want to do things on his own.
‘As parents sometimes you even use tough love but we worked hard with Gabe to help him overcome different challenges, to help him to be independent and that of course resolved in a lot of struggles, lot of tears on both sides.’
At school Gabe would wedge a pencil or pen between his shoulder and cheek to write in class. He learnt to shower and wash his hair by squeezing the shampoo onto the shower wall then rubbing his head against it and he texts using the tip of his top lip lightly pressing on the phone screen.
Gabe said: ‘I hated my parents for making me go through all that hard work, but now I look at them and celebrate that they pushed me to be independent and be the person that they knew I could be.
(Picture: Sohrab Mirmont / Barcroft Media)
‘I think some of my proudest moments in my life would be learning how to walk, learning how to get myself dressed, going up and down the stairs, getting into my wheelchair, taking my own notes in school; graduating, taking second in dance competition and being a motivational speaker – being able to look back at all those moments and see how far I have come.’
One of 10 brothers and four sisters, closest in age to Gabe is Landon who is just one month younger.
The two have a close bond having graduated high school together – but while Landon’s experience of school was more typical – proms, sports teams and dating – for Gabe it was a daily onslaught of cruel comments and bullying.
Gabe said: ‘I was in the art class one time and our art teacher told us to critique our neighbour’s artwork. This kid said to me: “It looks like God made a mistake on you”. I went home that day and I was crushed. I couldn’t get that out of my head.’
Landon remembers his brother often coming home from school totally dejected:
‘There were times when he used to come home and he was just completely miserable after how much he got picked on,’ he said.
Gabe added: ‘A lot of times I used to cry about it and my mom had to pull me aside and she made me do this thing where every morning I had to look at myself in the mirror and give myself ten compliments and go out into the world and give other people those compliments.’
In spite of his parents’ support, Gabe found the bullying too much and opted to change schools.
(Picture: Sohrab Mirmont / Barcroft Media)
‘That year was my year of really building myself back and finding who I wanted to be and then I really told myself that I wanted to graduate with Landon and I always had dreamt about us walking in graduation together’, he said.
‘So I told my parents that after my ninth grade I wanted to go back to public school and be with my brother and my sister.’
Moving back to his old school gave him the confidence to start dancing again – and this time take it up a level.
He said: ‘When you are sitting in a wheelchair all day it gets pretty boring, and pretty sore, so I needed a class where I could get out of the wheelchair and just be myself and have fun so I took a dance class that I had a friend in saying you should try out for the dance team.
‘The day of the dance tryouts they called us all in a line and they said, “okay dancer remember to full out extensions and point your toes”. What am I gonna point? My nose!?
‘I am just standing there in front of the judges and then I see girls do the spins and I am like, “I can do that”, so I do the spins.
‘The next day at school and I hear two girls talking behind me and they say: “They are only gonna put him on the stage because he is handicapped’”and that crushed me.
‘I ran to the dance coach and I said “please do not put me on the team because you feel sorry for me”, and she said: “I would not put you or anybody else on the team because I felt sorry for them, you get a spot on this team because you deserved it”.
‘And that was just a huge opening moment for me that I could do this and they weren’t gonna feel sorry for me.’
(Picture: Sohrab Mirmont / Barcroft Media)
Since becoming a part of his high school dance team, Gabe has gone on to compete in a dance competition. He placed second and appeared on the Maury Show afterwards.
He says his confidence as a dancer has really grown, and he is now pursuing a career as a motivational speaker.
He said: ‘I’ve been doing speaking for almost four years now and it’s pretty crazy with all the places that I’ve been able to go to and meet so many amazing people and hear their stories and hear how I’ve been able to help them.
‘I have been able to accomplish so much and I think it is funny when people say, do you wish you had prosthetics, and my answer is always, no, because I have already come so far in my independence without them that I wouldn’t want them now and have to re-learn everything just for those prosthetics.
‘I like my body the way it is and I am proud of what It is capable of doing.’
Nearly 950 days have gone by since the referendum… Mentally, it has been an extremely long haul (Photo: Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)
Nearly 950 days have gone by since the referendum. Mentally, it has been an extremely long haul.
My partner and I work as English teachers in Italy and our son has just started university in the Netherlands. The three of us arrived in Italy as EU citizens, but if Brexit goes ahead, we will be reduced to third country nationals.
The referendum result left me in shock, feeling isolated, alienated and anxious, and I am far from alone: a recent YouGov poll revealed that over 40 per cent of voters feel Brexit has impacted their mental health.
For me and my family, the single overriding worry though is that, even with a Withdrawal Agreement, we are losing freedom of movement. There is currently very high youth unemployment in Italy so if our son is less able to compete in the job market he will effectively be barred from being able to go where the work is like we did.
The sensation has been akin to being in a constant state of ‘fight or flight’ which has manifested in lack of sleep, anxiety, and, for the first time in my life, sometimes feeling on the brink of panic attacks.
My doctor prescribed medication (which I didn’t end up taking) and cheerily said she wasn’t over-concerned because the cause of my anxiety was no mystery!
There have been physical ramifications too – my dentist was all too ready to charge me lots of money to fix jaw ache I had developed, saying I was grinding my teeth at night, probably caused by stress. And it was a nasty wake-up call to be ticked off after my most recent bone density test and referred to an osteoporosis specialist.
The deterioration that led me to that correlated exactly with time I have spent worrying and fighting against Brexit. I can’t not do it because I have a profound conviction that Brexit is wrong for just about everyone.
I have come across people struggling to get citizenship as they see it as the only way of securing their rights, yet the drop in sterling could put some below the income threshold for getting citizenship in their host country. I see people who are elderly and living alone, low-income single parents, cancer sufferers and carers for disabled children, none of whom have been considered in the Brexit debates.
Clarissa Killwick on an anti-Brexit march (Photo: Clarissa Killwick)
Campaigning against Brexit has been the greatest therapy for me. By chance, I fell into a social media group called Brexpats – Hear Our Voice, a pan-European group that campaigns for citizens’ rights.
The group lobbies on both sides of the channel and we do everything we can to raise awareness of our issues at local Consulate and Embassy level through to local and national media and up to government departments and even presenting in the European Parliament.
It’s had a positive effect on my well-being as I feel we are at last being heard. It also gives me a sense of connection again, having a wonderful pan-European network of friends and colleagues, and many of us have met for real.
Whether it is coaching members to do a TV or radio interview or giving a voice to a vulnerable person through our case studies, I find my own equilibrium from helping other people.
Yet the Brexit marathon is by no means over, so what would help now and ease the strain that Brexit is putting on mental health?
Realistically, it is going to be impossible to reach everyone. What about all those who are not on social media, or those who are too frightened to speak up?
In the short term, there are no easy solutions but there needs to be acknowledgement from the top that these mental health issues exist, are widespread, and not confined to the mentally frail, in order to engender more understanding.
When people speak up about them, we must listen and treat them with kindness.
It is too easy to become apathetic to any issue around Brexit and social media makes it easy to scoff and criticise.
The only answer is a blanket guarantee, set in legislation, that all, not just some, of our rights will be protected. Better still, write Brexit off. The price already paid has been too high.
While there are scientifically proven mental health benefits to the relaxation method, such as reduced stress and anxiety, it can be difficult to switch your brain off in an instant.
But what if you could reach this state of bliss without effort and with an orgasm at the end?
The technique of using sex or masturbation as a form of meditation already exists in tantric sex communities, with a new method known as ‘omming’ or orgasmic meditation recently having become popular in the US.
The phrase was coined by One Taste, founder of the Institute of Om, where you can learn how to combine mindfulness with sexual climax. On its site, the institute describes the practice as stroking someone else’s clitoris for 15 minutes ‘with no goal other than to feel the sensation’.
But if you don’t have or want someone to play with, you can try it for yourself, too.
Emma, 24, has started using masturbation as a type of relaxation because she gets distracted during traditional meditation, and can’t keep her mind focused.
‘Recently, I have found myself using masturbation in place of meditation,’ she tells Metro.co.uk.
‘It completely clears my mind in ways that I can’t achieve by meditating the usual way, as I always get distracted and end up worrying about things. This method lets me get out of my head for a while and leaves me feeling so much sharper afterwards – a bit embarrassing but it works really well.
‘And it helps me sleep better, too.’
Another woman who uses both sex and masturbation as mental health therapy is 29-year-old Hollie, who recently became disabled and is ‘reclaiming’ her body by getting freaky on a regular basis.
‘I absolutely use sex as relaxation. Especially masturbation. I’m rediscovering my body after becoming disabled and having sex feels like an amazing journey to reclaiming my body.
‘It also lowers my anxiety levels and helps me feel ‘normal’ again – because I’m doing something that I did so often before I became ill.’
Similarly to Emma, she’s also found that having an orgasm can help her sleep.
There are correlations between orgasms and sleep; a recent Australian survey showed that out of 460 people, 64% slept better after sex and an orgasm – likely thanks to a release of oxytocin, the body’s natural ‘happiness’ hormone.
The same can be said for meditation, which can be used as a treatment for insomnia.
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
But what other connections are there between these two different ways of releasing tension?
Sarah Tilley, who runs a tantric sex retreat known as Beautiful Spaces, tells Metro.co.uk that sex is connected to breath, just as meditation is. She also claims the former leads to a longer life.
‘Sex is in its purest form is when its connected with the breath,’ she said.
‘When used as a daily meditation practice, you will experience life-affirming qualities such as improved happiness, balanced mental well-being and a stronger desire to add purpose in the world.
‘You will live longer and experience a better quality of life. These are not audacious statements, they are scientific facts.
‘Breathing is for everyone, and sex is for everyone in the same way meditation is. And in the same way meditation is for everyone, so is orgasm. Reaching the optimal stage of sexuality takes time, commitment and practice.’
Don’t fancy sitting on a mat and saying ‘om’ over and over?
Lie back and let your hands slide downwards instead – you might be pleasantly surprised at how good your mind feels afterwards.
Top tips on how to masturbate and meditate
If you’re feeling inspired to flick your bean or stroke the salami in an attempt to reach a meditative state, Sarah also provides some top tips.
‘You can try this exercise right now or later at home by yourself or with your partner,’ she said.
‘With your eyes closed or gazing into your partner’s eyes, stay focused on your quality of the deepest in-and out-breaths and an inner visual gaze on the sacred centre, three finger widths below your belly button. You can place your fingers there in sacred touch now.
‘Start to contract and expand your sexual energy with your breath. Reach into the top and down to the bottom slowly, and controlled. Start with one minute and increase to three or more as your practice deepens.
‘Eventually, when the time feels right, (you’ll know when) intuitively let it lead into personal or couple stroking of wherever feels natural. Perhaps an arm, a fingertip or a intimate area, but don’t change the focus and don’t change the breath.
‘The object is to shift your mind and body into holistic union, an internal sensation with yourself or the other. This is sacred sex.’
Michele has been in a relationship with a plane named Schatz for the last five years (Picture: MDWfeatures / Michele Kobke)
Michele Kobke is in love with a plane named Schatz.
It’s a long distance relationship, as Schatz often needs to be flown to faraway locations, but Michele makes do by taking a replica of the plane to bed each night.
She hopes that one day, the distance between them will disappear and she and Schatz will be able to get married.
‘Schatz is my first love,’ says Michele. ‘This is the most beautiful relationship you can imagine.’
It was love at first sight for Michele, who met the plane at Berlin Tegel Airport in 2014. She had loved flying for months before, having only been on her first flight in 2013, but Schatz was something special.
‘The last time I was in a relationship with a man was in 2011 but there was no love there,’ she explains.
She was first attracted to the plane’s wings and thrusters (Picture: MDWfeatures / Michele Kobke
‘My first flight was at the end of November 2013 and I became so in love with aeroplanes, I got so excited every time I looked at aeroplane pictures and videos.
‘On March 11, 2014, I was in Tegel airport and visited the aeroplanes and then came a 737-800 airplane, which approached me, and I have been so in love with him since.’
The relationship is physical despite the distance. Michele says she loves Schatz’s wings and support surface, and was first attracted to his wings, winglets, and thrusters.
To keep the spark going Michele hugs and kisses retired parts of the plane (Picture: MDWfeatures / Michele Kobke)
She says: ‘Every type of aircraft looks a bit different and my darling is the most updated version. My love is not easy, because I only meet him if I fly with my 737-800.
‘In Hangar and Taxiway is not possible to be with him, so we don’t have much time together to enjoy each other’s company.’
To stay intimate when the pair are separated, Michele sleeps with a 1.6 metre model of her beloved plane or with old components of his body.
When they’re together she kisses and hugs the plane’s wings.
She also sleeps with a model of the plane every night (Picture: MDWfeatures / Michele Kobke)
Her family has been supportive of the relationship, so it’s really only the distance that’s making the relationship tricky.
But Michele won’t let that stop her love.
‘Since I’m in a long-distance relationship; it is a disadvantage as I can only get to him when I fly with him,’ says Michele. ‘My family has reacted quite pleasantly and accepted my relationship with my 737-800.
‘I get many pejorative comments like that I need to go to therapy or that I am sick. But this love is present, and I’ve never been so happy.
‘I sleep with my darling every night, either with real components or 1.6-meter model. Intimacy is part of our relationship.
‘I want to marry my sweetheart and live together in a hangar. It’s a special kind of love and it does not hurt anyone.’
Got a sore throat that’s outlasted every round of the office bug? It might be worth going to the doctor.
New research suggests that a persistent sore throat could be a sign of throat or laryngeal cancer.
Don’t panic just yet. We’re not talking about a scratchy throat or a bit of a tickle. The research points to a persistent, seriously sore throat combined with other symptoms as potential indicators of cancer.
The research involved looking at 806 patients diagnosed with cancer of the larynx – the part of the throat forming the air passage to the lungs – and looking at the symptoms they experienced when they went to their GP.
The researchers found a 5% increased risk of cancer of the larynx in those who went to the doctor due to a persistent sore throat combined with shortness or of breath, problems, swallowing, or earache.
You’ll notice that’s not a huge jump, so, again, don’t panic. This research isn’t supposed to alarm you, but to make GPs more aware of possible warning signs to look out for.
Researchers hope that the results will help with the earlier detection of cancer, encouraging GPs to investigate patients for cancer if they present with a persistent sore throat and shortness of breath, along with the symptoms identified in Nice guidelines; persistent hoarseness and an unexplained neck lump.
What you need to know about laryngeal cancer:
Laryngeal cancer affects the larynx, the part of the throat at the entrance of the windpipe. It also holds the voice box.
Smoking tobacco, drinking large amounts of alcohol, having an unhealthy diet, having a family history of head and neck cancer, and exposure to certain chemicals such as asbestos and coal dust, are all risk factors for laryngeal cancer.
Symptoms include:
a change in your voice, such as sounding hoarse
pain when swallowing or difficulty swallowing
a lump or swelling in your neck
a long-lasting cough
a persistent sore throat or earache
in severe cases, difficulty breathing
Breathlessness
A wheezing noise when breathing
Extreme fatigue
It’s recommended that you see your GP if you experience any of these symptoms for longer than three weeks.
Professor Willie Hamilton, one of the study authors, said: ‘This research matters – when Nice guidance for cancer investigation was published there was no evidence from GP practices to guide this, nor to inform GPs.
‘Crucially, hoarseness serious enough to be reported to GPs does warrant investigation.
‘Furthermore, our research has shown the potential severity of some symptom combinations previously thought to be low-risk.’
Lead author Dr Elizabeth Shephard said: ‘The UK still lags well behind the rest of Europe on cancer survival rate, although our research is part of a body of work that is leading to significant improvements.
‘There’s still some way to go and the results of this study really highlight the need to improve the current recommendations for all of the head and neck cancers, which are either incomplete or absent.’
If you plan on spending Valentine’s Day at home next month, Asda has got your back, as the supermarket has just launched a new bottle of sparkly pink gin.
Asda is selling the gin as a Valentine’s treat, with the Extra Special Gin Liqueur being made from raspberry and rose.
As it’s a liqueur, it has a lower alcohol volume, so don’t expect it to get you too tipsy. But it’s super pretty and will look perfect on your Instagram feed – especially as when you shake it, glitter floats around, making the bottle look lovely and sparkly.
(Picture: Asda)
Oh, and the best thing? This gin is super cheap at £10, down £10 from its regular retail price.
Ed Sowerby, spirits product manager at Asda, said: ‘We know gin is as popular as ever with our customers, so we’ve been looking at innovative ways to create new products, at great value prices.
‘This Valentine’s Day, we think we’ve cracked it with this delicious, pink, shimmering gin with added glitter.’
As you can probably guess, the pink glittery gin is going to be pretty popular, so if you want to get your hands on a bottle, head down to your local Asda ASAP.
Looking to make someone laugh or cry (happy tears) this Valentine’s Day?
No matter whether you love Valentine’s Day, or you’re a cynic of the ‘greeting card manufactured day’. The chances are you’ll be giving or receiving (excuse the pun) a card to/from your lovers, crushes, friends, and family on the 14th Febuary.
Sure, you can never go wrong with a classic, but nothing beats bringing smiles and laughter to friends and loved ones – especially if they have a sense of humor.
So here are some hilarious, dirty and downright crude Valentine’s Day cards that are sure make them chuckle.
Sale bargains will be available in store soon (Picture: Visit Eastleigh)
Boots have been giving us the absolute run-around when it comes to their 70% off sale.
Bargain hunters (and us) were sure we knew when it would arrive based on previous years. With dates coming and going, we thought there was a chance there might be no sale at all.
However, MoneySavingExpert have come through and confirmed the exact date it’s coming, so set your alarms and get ready for some bargains.
Here’s what we now know.
(Picture: John Keeble/Getty Images)
Last year the sale fell on Friday 19th January. The year before that it was Friday 20th January, and the year before that, Wednesday 15th January.
Every year before that has been a Wednesday. Therefore, we were pretty certain that if it wasn’t 16th January, the sale would most probably begin on Friday 18th.
That day came, though, and still no sale. Even Martin Lewis was shook, tweeting:
‘Important I tipped off unconfirmed reports this morning on @GMB that Boots may be starting a clearance tomorrow reducing sale items from 50% to 70%. It has now confirmed this is NOT happening.’
His website, MoneySavingExpert, confirmed yesterday, however, that it absolutely will be the morning of Friday 1 February – the latest it’s ever been.
What will be included in the sale?
As with previous sales, you’ll likely see the biggest discounts in store, so get down there to bag the best bargains.
It’ll most likely be Christmas stock reduced the heaviest, so brands like Soap & Glory, Jack Wills, and Champneys are a great place to start.
Ever wondered how much your photos influence your dating life?
In an age of impatience and easy access, the photos we choose to upload when trying to attract a partner online can play a big role in how many matches or responses we receive – that much is evident.
But how big a difference does it make if you change not only the photo, but also your look, hair colour and personality?
Hayley Leeanna, 36, a model from Peterborough, decided to put this to a test and tried out seven different looks to find out which one is most successful and what type of men it appeals to.
The styles included ‘busty brunette’, ‘bubbly party-loving blonde’, ‘gym bunny’, ‘slacker with no makeup’, and two non-descript styles where she wore spectacles and a business suit, as well as one where she dressed and behaved as she normally would.
Hayley also adapted a persona to match each new profile, and changed her photos every time. She conducted her two-week experiment through Illicit Encounters, a dating site for married people, so the same results might not apply to singletons.
‘I spent six months learning everything there is to know about how subtle changes to your profile picture and personality details can make a huge difference to the type of man you attract,’ she said.
‘If you want to have sex, it sounds obvious but you need to be clear in your pictures that you are out for a good time. So accentuate the cleavage, smile and look like you are up for a laugh. You should also use some pictures of you when you were younger to hide your real age – everyone is doing that online.
‘If you want someone rich, blonde is definitely the way to go – that look attracted lots of sugar daddies who wanted to wine and dine me before taking me to bed.
‘The most genuine men came forward when I was most like the real me – either showing my age in a revealing dress while out on the town or as a keep fit fanatic in my gym gear. The two looks which really bombed were when I wore glasses and when I went completely without make-up as a total slob.
‘I also tried the businesswoman look in a smart suit but all the guys I met were total bores.’
Best for sex: Busty brunette, 87 responses
(Picture: Cavendish Press)
Hayley said: ‘This was far the best look for creating a buzz and getting lots of attention. Sadly a lot of men were only interested in one thing and made it absolutely clear that they expected sex on the first date after we got chatting online.
‘I tended to get attention from younger men who were keen to exchange sexy pictures. I did date three of the men who contacted me with this profile and we had a lot of fun, but it didn’t go anywhere.’
Best for a rich sugar daddy: Bubbly blonde, 43 responses
(Picture: Cavendish Press)
Hayley said: ‘The key difference when I used a picture from a few years ago with me as a blonde was that the men who came on to me were older and richer.
‘Obviously they were married because this was Illicit Encounters – they had made their money and were looking for a fun-loving bit on the side. They loved the fact that I was holding a wine glass and gave the impression I was a party girl.
‘I dated two men who contacted me with this profile picture. One was lovely and we had a great weekend together in Marbella staying in a five star hotel. He was in his 50s and he was a bit old for me, but a fantastic lover nevertheless.’
Best for companionship: Gym bunny, 25 responses
(Picture: Cavendish Press)
Hayley said: ‘I am happiest when I am in the gym and I found a few kindred spirits when I used some workout pictures of myself on my profile.
‘I had men wanting to meet up at the gym rather than a bar or a restaurant which was a nice change. I met some great guys but I was conscious that I was not making enough of my feminine side.’
Best for love: Be yourself, 32 responses
(Picture: Cavendish Press)
Hayley said: ‘I am naturally a fun-loving brunette who is proud of my figure and loves my surgically enhanced boobs. I spent £5,000 on a boob operation, going up from 28B to 28FF. I am fed up with dating skint pretty boys.
‘I like enjoying the high life and sharing some intelligent conversations with older men. I found the men were a little more genuine when I went on as myself – they could see there was nothing contrived about my profile. I used full-length pictures of myself, rather than one that just focused on my bust and they showed my real age more clearly.
‘I got fewer younger men coming on to me than I did with the cleavage pictures and more men who were interested in a proper relationship.’
Best for nice guys: Wear spectacles, four responses
(Picture: Cavendish Press)
Hayley said: ‘If you are dating online, ditch the specs – that is my advice.. I was worried I would not get any approaches at all but four men came on to me and they were all absolutely lovely.
‘The spectacles created a whole new persona for me and that was reflected in the responses. The men were much more polite, but sadly none of them had a lot of money.’
Best for boredom: Wear a business suit, eight responses
(Picture: Cavendish Press)
Hayley said: ‘It is not really me but I straightened my hair flat, wore a smart business suit and had the persona of a successful businesswoman.
‘I thought it might get me a classier type of guy but it just attracted a bunch of bores. This definitely didn’t work.’
Best for a blowout: No makeup slacker, no responses
(Picture: Cavendish Press)
Hayley said: ‘If you are dating online, get out the slap – no one want to see you when you are not looking your best. I thought men might like the fact that I didn’t care about my appearance but who wants to date a slob with spots? You can really enhance your profile picture with the right make-up and hairstyle.’
Despite enjoying her dating experiment, Hayley said she’d rather be herself.
Even if it won’t give her as much sex.
‘It was a great experiment but I prefer being me,’ she said.
‘I won’t have as much as sex as I can do with some of the flirty pictures of myself, but I will meet a better class of men.’
A young entrepreneur has launched a discount card that aims to help support black British businesses.
Khalia Ismain launched Jamii with the goal of showcasing the very best of black-owned businesses in the UK, and encouraging customers to engage with them.
It works just like a Time Out card. You sign up, buy a card for £14.95, and you get a year of discounts from a wide range of black businesses.
Khalia is passionate about supporting black-owned ventures, and she hopes Jamii will prove a vital resource for promoting widespread growth and development.
(Picture: Jamii/Metro.co.uk)
Khalia has always been politically-minded. She vividly remembers the summer of 2015 when the Black Lives Matter campaign captivated the UK. But she was left wondering – what’s the next move for black activism?
‘I specifically remember in Oxford street there were massive protests, people were swinging off bus-stops – it was really powerful,’ Khalia tells Metro.co.uk.
‘But I just kept thinking, when people go home – then what? We have been fighting these issues for decades, and we’re still in a similar position, the placards still look the same.
‘I think the problem is resources. We can’t rely on black people just being angry – there has to be something more sustainable, something that can back up these arguments.’
That’s where Jamii comes in. Khalia believes that by championing black-owned businesses, she can help create the infrastructure for real, lasting change.
‘We need organsations and businesses that are really fighting our corner, even when we don’t have the energy or the anger to do so ourselves.
‘It has to be long-lasting, and more sustainable than a singular protest or movement.’
Khalia says that traditional methods of supporting black businesses don’t work. We can’t rely on people’s sense of moral obligation – there needs to be a real incentive.
‘What normally happens when people say they want to support black businesses is that they choose a black-owned business at random, they will go there once, they may or may not have a great experience, and then that’s kind of it.
‘And when people don’t have good experiences, it just reinforces negative stereotypes and is actually really damaging.
‘What I wanted to do was create something that showcases the brilliant, positive black-owned businesses that do exist, and help people find them and engage with them.
‘The ones who are ambitious, they really care and they are doing some really amazing things.
‘I also wanted to encourage people to use them. You can’t just rely on good intentions for people to support.
‘With Jamii, I’m trying to tap in to more self-interested motivations for people. If they know they will get a discount, they are much more likely to go back – rather than if they just feel like they should.
‘The whole point is to make it easier for people to find businesses that are black-owned, and actually worthy of your support, and then provide a real, tangible incentive.’
(Picture: Jamii/Metro.co.uk)
At just 25, Khalia already knows her way around a business. And what started as a side-hustle, now has the makings of a major money-making venture.
‘I launched Jamii in August 2016, and I was working on it mostly in the evenings and weekends, until this year when I decided to go full-time,’ explains Khalia.
‘After I left uni I got involved in start-ups, and I have always had a social conscience about the work that I do. I used to want to be Prime Minister, and I wanted to change the world, I just didn’t always know how.
‘I spent time in Kenya after I graduated, and I was working in micro-businesses there. Jamii is actually the Swahili word for “community”, so that’s really where the inspiration for the whole concept came from.’
And when it comes to the black community, there are plenty of innovative black-owned businesses that could thrive in the right circumstances. Khalia sees Jamii as the catalyst to kick-start the growth.
‘It works online and offline, so on the website you can see all of the online discounts, and lists of where it will work in store,’ says Khalia.
‘All you have to do is create and account, buy the card and then you can start using your discounts – and your membership will last for a year.’
‘There are beauty brands, clothing brands, hair care suppliers, street food markets – loads of different areas where your discounts will apply.
‘The end-game is to bring new, bigger brands on board. What I really want to see is businesses turning in to big businesses – I just want to see the growth, and I’m hoping that Jamii can help black-owned businesses to achieve that.’
As well as providing dscounts for consumers and helping to drive sales, Jamii will also be an invaluable tool for business owners.
‘I want to ultimately make Jamii a resource for people to help build their business – whether that’s connecting them with investors, structural tips, helping people understand the numbers,’ Khalia tells us.
‘The aim is to contribute to and help create a really successful, black entrepreneurial class.
‘There are so many reasons why it’s important to support black businesses. First of all, from a role-model perspective.
‘We need more black role models – when I was growing up I wanted to be Beyonce, basically because there was no one else. I think it’s vital to have black role models in business, so that people can see just how many different things are open to us.
‘Also, a lot of black businesses have a strong social conscience, they want to do good for their communities – it’s not just about making money – it’s about taking profits and using them to really give back.
‘So the more that we support black businesses, the more we are really supporting ourselves. If black businesses continue to grow then we will really feel it, and our kids will feel it and our parents will feel it.’
You can get your Jamii card on the website, and once you’re a member you will also receive newsletters with the latest deals and brands.
You can now recreate the ill-fated Fyre Festival as part of a live action role play.
The ill-fated music festival on an island on the Bahamas has been the subject of both a Netflix and Hulu documentary in recent weeks.
And now you will hopefully you might be able to relive it all.
Live Action Role Play (LARP) involves people reenacting characters and events. This isn’t attempt to put on a better Fyre Festival but rather an attempt to replicate all the failures on the second anniversary.
The event was created as a joke by Michelle Birawer of Harsh Tokes Booking and it already has already attracted over 7,000 people who are interested in attending, before she’s even released any information.
Originally the event was advertised as being on Belle Isle, an island in the middle of the Detroit river.
But when it became clear that the Department of Natural Resources, who operate the island park, weren’t so keen on the idea, Michelle moved it to Hamtramck, Michigan.
It’s becoming its own thing without me releasing any information. It’s becoming a social experiment, but a positive one.’
The description says: ‘Come celebrate the two year anniversary of the greatest music festival farce of ALL TIME!
‘The Department of Natural Resources does not want us. So we are going to bring the party to the party Island of Hamtramck instead!
‘Details TBA.’
Her plan had been to charter school buses from an unnamed bar to the Island but it seems, much like Fyre Festival, it’s being planned after a successful social media campaign.
She told Metro Times: ‘Upon arrival, people will be given their itinerary and an envelope which will assign them a character. There will be a box truck filled with luggage, just like at Fyre, and it will be someone’s job to ‘volunteer’ to distribute luggage. It’s all random.’
People will also be assigned to be influencers and local bands will be booked but never perform.
Apparently she’s got someone on board to serve cheese sandwiches and is planning a snow-filled promo video and a ‘curry yellow’ tile campaign for Instagram.
If you want to take part, firstly, you need to be in Detroit but if that doesn’t seem like too much of an obstacle (hey flying to the Bahamas was no big deal for the original festival goers), you need to keep an eye on the plans.
