Although those who live alone have been told they’re allowed to nominate one person for a ‘support bubble’, those who are still single still need to find that lucky person who makes the cut.
While social distancing measures are still in place, the best place to do this is via the virtual world – as pubs, coffee shops, and anywhere else you could feasibly sit down and bond won’t open for a while yet.
Yes, virtual dating is awkward, but a Zoom or Houseparty conversation is a great starter date to avoid catfishing and work out whether the person you’ve been texting is worth lugging yourself to a local part for a two-metre-apart picnic.
Use the time wisely to get to know the person and see if they’re compatible, before testing your physical compatibility at a later date.
To help you do this, we’ve compiled a list of questions you can ask your online date and work out what they’re like in the real world.
Try not to get too ‘interview-like’ when asking, but use them as jumping-off points to remove any stilted moments that might arise.
Zoom or Houseparty date questions
What’s the most fun or interesting thing you’ve done during lockdown?
Do you have any siblings?
What’s one memory from your childhood that you think encapsulates who you are now?
If you could have quarantined anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Is there anything you feel that lockdown has taught you or given you perspective on?
Who’s the most famous person you’ve ever met?
What’s your first travel plan once we’re allowed to freely travel?
What was the last movie you watched?
Are you reading anything right now?
Do you have any pets?
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
If your friends had to describe you, what would they say?
What’s your dream career?
What would your ‘desert island discs’ be?
What would your ideal date be?
Cat person or dog person?
Do you have any party tricks?
What are the weirdest lockdown impulse purchases you’ve made?
Who would you say is your inspiration in life?
If you had a dream dinner party with anyone dead or alive you could invite, who would you ask?
What do people normally think of you when they first meet you?
Ever been rude to a waiter?
Did you ever have an emo/raver/mosher/etc phase at school?
What was the best gig you’ve ever been to?
How have you found not seeing family or friends over the last few months?
Joined in on any fun virtual quizzes or parties?
Where would you say is your ‘happy place’?
How did you meet your best friend?
If you could move to anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Has this been more of a Joe Wicks lockdown or a sourdough and banana bread lockdown?
What’s your favourite pizza topping?
What’s your favourite ice cream flavour?
If you could eat anything in the world right now, what would it be?
Who would play you in the movie of your life?
Do you ever get told you look like someone?
Do you have any ‘guilty pleasure’ music or TV obsessions?
If you were a Friends character, which one would you be?
If you were to open a business, what would it be?
If you find money on the street, what do you do with it?
What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
And the worst advice?
If you could have any superpower, which would you choose?
Would you rather be rich or famous?
Do you think ‘child you’ would be happy seeing where you’re at now?
Are you an outdoorsy person?
What’s one hobby you’ve always wanted to try but never have?
What’s the silliest thing you’re afraid of?
What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
What’s the thing in the world you’re most looking forward to?
Where did you go on holiday when you were younger?
If you could study any topic – with no need to get a job in it, just to gain the knowledge – what would you choose?
If your friends were the Spice Girls, which spice would you be?
If you won the lottery right now, what would you spend it on?
What song do you imagine is playing in your ‘life movie’ when you’re looking out the window of a car or bus? (We all do it)
What was your worst ever date?
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
What would you do if you had enough money not to work?
Would you say you’re an introvert or extrovert?
What would you pack for our socially distanced picnic?
Do you have a great story you’d like to share with us?
Are your kids fed up with their toys after weeks stuck inside?
If you want to get something new for them to play with but don’t have the budget or space, toy renting is a great option.
Some companies who usually do kids parties, are offering contact-free toy rental.
They’ve come to your house, set up the toys, leave them for you and your little ones to play with and then come back to collect the toys later in the day. The toys are then decontaminated before they are given to any other families.
Other schemes allow you to rent toys by post before sending them back.
It’s a more sustainable way to keep kids entertained, especially if they are likely to lose interest in something new quickly.
We’ve put together some of the companies that are offering toys to use and return, following strict safety measures right now.
Whirli is an ongoing subscription service that might work for your family even after the pandemic is over.
Prices start at £9.99 per month and the idea is that you pay a monthly fee to rent toys – once your kids are bored of a toy you can send it back to get something else.
They have toys from big names like Fisher Price, Peppa Pig, Disney, Playmobil and more.
Russell Moody took Tala the Border Collie and her sister Harli for a walk and let them swim in a pond to cool off.
But Russell had no idea that playing in the water would be harmful, as Tala was poisoned by algae and nearly died.
Vets told him she was moments from death because she had come into contact with blue green algae.
Blue green algae, also known as cyanobacteria, are tiny organisms typically found in freshwater lakes, ponds, reservoirs and slow-moving rivers.
It blooms on the surface and is highly toxic to dogs, commonly causing vomiting, diarrhoea, seizures, breathing difficulties and coma. It can lead to liver damage and death.
Luckily, Tala pulled through but Russell wants to warn other pet owners to be careful as the recent hot water has made the micro-organism blossom.
Explaining what happened when he took the dogs for a walk on farmland near their rural home in Dunham-on-Trent, Nottinghamshire, Russell, 56, said: ‘There’s a beck and a pond and they were playing happily in and around the water for about an hour.
‘I noticed Tala squinting and then she started staggering as if her balance had gone. It was such a shock and when I got her home and she couldn’t get out of the car, I really started to panic.
‘I called my vet and, as it was the evening, I was referred to Vets Now and was told to bring her straight in. By the time I went back to the car she was running at the mouth and she was totally unresponsive.
‘It was a real emergency run to get help just as quickly as I could.’
The clinic in Lincoln is one of a nationwide network of hospitals and clinics that are open every night, and day and night at weekends and bank holidays for pet emergencies.
The current Covid-19 restrictions meant Russell had to wait in the car while the staff assessed the situation.
‘She was in a very bad way,’ said veterinary nurse Alana Taylor at Vets Now emergency clinic in Lincoln. ‘She wasn’t responding to stimulation and her pupils were dilated. We did a radiograph to check her chest was clear as it was thought she may have inhaled water, but we suspected it was blue green algae toxicity due to the quick onset of signs.’
Tala was given an injection to make her sick and bring up the algae and was put on oxygen and intravenous fluids.
But despite the hard work of the vets, they still thought they may have to let her go.
‘She was close to having to be put to sleep when, somehow, she suddenly turned a corner,’ said Alana.
‘Her demeanour changed after about three hours and she became aware of her surroundings and wagged her tail when we spoke to her.’
Russell was kept informed throughout and he admits he feared the worst.
‘I expected to be getting a phone call telling me she’d died,’ said Russell.
‘It really was touch and go and it was unbelievable that she came through it.
‘I always thought she was such a laid-back dog who just liked to sleep but she proved me wrong. She obviously has something deep inside her and is a real fighter.
‘It was a magic moment when we heard she was going to be okay and then seeing her again was so special. It was like getting her as a pup all over again.
‘We can’t thank the staff enough.’
Before the incident, Russell didn’t know about the dangers of algae and is warning other owners to be on the lookout.
‘I’d definitely advise people to keep their eyes on their dog at all times when near water and take bottled water rather than let them drink from a stagnant pond,’ added Russell.
‘And don’t delay if you see any signs. If I hadn’t had the car with me, it could all have been over by the time I got her home. We were really lucky.’
If you’ve spent lockdown getting into baking your own bread, you’ll know just how emotionally invested you can become in a sourdough starter.
You feed it, watch it carefully, and love it, hoping desperately it will grow to make you proud.
So you’ll understand why a bakery in Bristol has thrown a birthday party for a sourdough starter that has been making loaves for 65 years.
The starter – a mixture of flour and water that’s then left to ferment – was brought to England in 1955 and has been in constant use at Hobbs House Bakery ever since.
Staff have lovingly labelled the mixture as the company’s ‘hardest working employee’ – and think it could be even older.
They say the starter was a gift from another baker who travelled from Germany and settled in Tetbury after World War Two.
This means it may have been used by generations before arriving in Britain – although the bakery only dates it from when it landed in their hands.
It has been nurtured and cared for daily since and each day some is taken out to bake the bread.
Alice Drake, of Hobbs House Bakery, said: ‘We like to call our sourdough starter the hardest working employee in the bakery, such an important member of staff deserves a fitting celebration for her birthday each June.
‘We love to share our family recipes, equipment and ingredients; baker to baker, especially our sourdough starter.
‘Over the last few weeks it has been great to see such a huge increase in demand for sourdough baking, we have shipped many hundreds of jars of our sourdough starter across the country to budding home bakers.
‘We love the thought that many thousands of loves have been enjoyed up and down the country all baked with our edible heritage, to become a custodian of this is priceless.’
Hobbs House Bakery is now based in Chipping Sodbury, near Bristol, having been in the baking game for five generations.
They’ve noticed the rise in popularity of sourdough bread in lockdown, but have always loved their dear starter – for them, baking is no fad.
For those not yet in the baking know, a starter is an important part of making sourdough bread, with traditionalists saying that for sourdough bread to be ‘proper’ it must be made with a starter and be free from preservatives and commercial yeast.
A starter culture is made from flour and water and contains lactic acid bacteria and naturally occurring yeasts. It is created by mixing equal parts of each in a jar.
The mixing action traps natural airborne yeast particles and they begin to feed on the flour in the jar, creating a living yeast colony.
The jar should then be left somewhere warm and fed equal parts flour and water every day.
It should be bubbling and ready to use to bake sourdough bread within a week.
Once the baker is ready to make bread, they grab a portion of their starter and add it to fresh flour, warm water, and salt, then knead it to make the dough.
The starter is then replenished with fresh organic rye flour and water to keep it going.
Some bakers simply replenish the same starter repeatedly – essentially using the same batch for years.
But 65 years is a long time for anyone to still be working hard. Congratulations and thank you for your service, sourdough starter!
Amid coronavirus, when we’re told to ‘stay alert’ and stay home to avoid a looming, invisible threat, it makes sense that a simmering fear of germs, dirt, and contamination may boil over.
That fear, mysophobia, is often experienced by those with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) – although it’s important to note that OCD comes in many forms and is not always about germs and cleanliness – but one expert says that she’s seen many people newly experiencing the terror as a result of the pandemic.
Dr Martina Paglia, a psychologist at The International Psychology Clinic, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Mysophobia, a fear of germs in general, usually begins in late childhood or early adolescence.
‘Since the pandemic, some of my clients with OCD have developed specific fear for catching Covid-19 germs.
‘I have clients who have had OCD for 10+ years, and since the pandemic the fear has shifted from generic germs to catching Covid-19.’
Martina gives an example of Rita, someone struggling with mysophobia as part of OCD.
‘Rita came into contact with dirt while cleaning her house,’ Martina explains. ;She start to think: “What if I fall ill or get an infection? What if I make someone else ill?”. As a result, she gets worried about getting sick or making others sick.
‘She starts to display compulsive behaviours, which act to neutralise intrusive thoughts, such as washing her hands several times and other routines such as checking that environments are completely clean in the future.’
It’s those compulsions that show when a phobia has trickled into obsessive compulsive disorder.
The difficulty in recognising and treating this during coronavirus lies in the idea that our compulsions might actually be the ‘correct’ thing to do – excessive hand-washing, refusing to leave the house, and avoiding contact with others are all praised behaviours amid a pandemic.
Add in the soothing effect of these compulsions, and it’s all too easy for these to become the go-to for coping with overwhelming and distressing obsessive thoughts.
‘Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (also known as OCD) is a mental health condition characterised by obsessive and/or compulsive symptoms that cause intense anxiety and fear,’ says Martina. ‘Obsessions can be defined as recurrent, repetitive and persistent thoughts, impulses or images, experienced as intrusive and unwanted.
‘Often those affected by obsessions try to ignore or suppress such thoughts or attempt to neutralise them with other thoughts or actions, without however succeeding. Obsessive thoughts are unpleasant. They can cause fear, anxiety, tension or even disgust.
‘Compulsions can be defined as repetitive behaviours or actions that the individual feels obliged to implement in response to obsession(s) or according to rules that must be applied rigidly. Compulsions can be seen as actions that are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety.
‘However, these behaviours or actions are not realistically connected with what they are designed to neutralise or prevent, or are clearly excessive.
‘[In the case of Rita], dirt was the precipitating factor that led Rita to experience feelings of anxiety.
‘To reduce this anxiety Rita began to wash her hands repeatedly until she felt calmer. This compulsive/safety behaviour is a perpetuating factor, as Rita will continue to do this in the future, as she has learned that this is an effective way of reducing her anxiety.
‘However, this is blocking her from learning that no-one will become sick as a result of dirt in the environment, or that if they did become ill that this would be minimal.’
A fear or worry about germs is normal and to be expected, especially with all the messaging around coronavirus and the reality of the virus’ devastating effects.
But when that fear becomes overwhelming and is affecting your everyday life, that’s a sign there’s a problem.
So, how can you deal with it?
‘CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is the best therapy for OCD,’ says Martina. ‘Exposure therapy is undergone where the client is forced to fight the obsessive thoughts and not to act upon them. It requires some time but it is a process of learning. CBT teaches the client to face the fears because it forces them to face the same situation every time but with better handling. Brainspotting and EMDR therapy can also help treating OCD.
‘It would be helpful for Rita to be exposed to dirt so that she learns that these situations are manageable and that nothing awful happens as a result.
‘Rita would also need to engage in response prevention, which means that she would not engage in her compulsive behaviour. Engagement in compulsive behaviours during exposure work is counterproductive, as this would lead Rita to believe that her rituals are keeping her safe. By preventing herself from engaging in compulsive behaviours Rita learns other ways to manage her anxiety and realizes that it is not the compulsive behaviour that is protecting her.’
It’s crucial that anyone struggling reaches out for help rather than trying to battle through OCD or an overwhelming phobia alone.
Get in touch with your GP or approach a private therapist if you’re finding a fear of germs is becoming overwhelming.
Try to fact-check those intrusive thoughts that tell you disease is all around by remembering that germs are not all bad and the worst-case scenario is rarely the most likely one.
We spoke to microbiologist Nicky Milner earlier in the pandemic, and she had this hope for life during the pandemic and long after it: ‘I would like to see greater public awareness of the invisible world of microorganisms and recognition that not all microorganisms cause infection – in fact, we cannot survive without the good microorganisms, such as those which help us digest our food, for example.’
A decaying farmhouse stuck in a timewarp has given visitors an eerie glimpse of rural life in the early 20th century.
Photographer Rebecca couldn’t believe what she was seeing when she was invited to see the abandoned cottage after its owner died.
Newspapers from 1811, dozens of stopped clocks, a half-smoked pipe and the owner’s shoes left by his bed were some of the haunting scenes that Rebecca discovered.
The perfectly preserved farmhouse, which first appeared on maps in 1858, was found deep in the countryside in Northern Ireland.
Rebecca, who owns the page Abandoned NI – an homage to derelict houses she visits and photographs, investigated the cottage’s history to get an idea of its former life.
This particular farmhouse in Cookstown, County Tyrone, was lived in until 2015 by three brothers who kept all of their family’s history there.
The last brother to live there – identified only as Dessie – lived a solitary life among the relics of the past.
Living mainly in just two rooms, the octogenarian left in 2015 and then went into a home, dying two years later.
Rebecca was informed about the place and – having photographed dozens of other abandoned houses in the area – was invited in by the owner to document the space before it was knocked down.
Rebecca found ancient books, magazines, papers and photographs littering the farm worker’s cottage.
She photographed a mantel clock eerily frozen, with the hands stuck at 12.15, a pair of glasses, dozens of early 20th century tins left on shelves unopened.
Hundreds of letters – including love letters between Dessie’s brother – were left in drawers, and three ancient rusting kettles sat on top of a stove, next to a cup that appears to have been placed there just before its owner left.
Books, including ancient tomes on gardening, and papers like the Mid Ulster Mail from 1917 were also sitting in a living room that had been shut off for more than 50 years.
One newspaper documented the aftermath of the sinking of the Titanic while in the bedroom, the rotting bedclothes were still visible, with a bedpan next to one bed and a flat cap perched precariously on the end.
Rebecca said she initially didn’t think the cottage would be that interesting.
But she was so amazed by the contents she has since catalogued them and created an exhibition based on the lives of Dessie and his family.
She said: ‘As soon as I opened the door I was blown away.
‘I went into what I thought was a wee cottage and it’s basically a social history museum.’
Rebecca began asking people what they could tell her about Dessie and his family.
She said: ‘He was a hearty farmer, milking cows to produce milk and butter. It was reported if you stayed for dinner in the house and you finished up, you were given another dinner for seconds! No one left with an empty stomach.’
Among mysteries was a collection of memorabilia and personal items from an Edwin McQueen.
Nobody knew who he was, but Rebecca worked out that he was actually married to Dessie’s mum for two years before he died.
He was a policeman and his military box can be seen in the corner of one of the bedrooms along with a certificate from 1894 and a picture of him in a frame in his police uniform.
Rebecca eventually curated her own museum exhibit featuring the items – including two perfectly recreated rooms from Dessie’s house – which went on show in Belfast.
Rebecca added: ‘Homes like this are the reason I love to photograph and document these buildings.
‘There are so many places around the country just like this lying untouched and pretty soon they’ll be gone too and we’ll have no record of them being there.’
Most of us know what gaslighting is by now. It is a phrase used to describe manipulative and psychologically abusive behaviour, usually in romantic relationships – but it can happen with friends, colleagues or family members too.
If someone consistently twists the truth, forces you to question what actually happened, makes you feel like you’re going mad – that is gaslighting.
It can be as simple as telling you that you were the one who started an argument – when in reality it was the other person. Or saying that you are being ‘hysterical’ or ‘overreacting’, even when your response is reasonable.
The point of gaslighting is to undermine and make a person question their own judgement, perception or memory. Racial gaslighting is exactly the same – only it makes the victim question their judgement on issues of racism.
It is a convenient tactic used to derail accusations of racism and shift the scrutiny onto the accuser – forcing them to question and re-asses their own response to the racism, rather than the racism itself.
A classic example of racial gaslighting is where a person of colour describes a racist interaction, only to have it immediately questioned.
‘Are you sure that’s what it was about?’, ‘Was it definitely about skin colour though?’, ‘But I don’t think that was about racism.’
All of these responses undermine the lived experience of racism that the person of colour has just described. The purpose of these questions is to make the person who has experienced racism second-guess what they remember and how they interpreted the events – which is gaslighting.
Similarly, denying the existence of systemic racism when a person of colour is telling you that it exists, is racial gaslighting.
For example – saying, ‘oh, it’s only a few bad apples’, is a coded way of telling a person of colour that their experiences of systemic discrimination didn’t happen, that instead they were individual, unconnected events.
Navigating racial gaslighting – the constant questioning, twisting and undermining of what you know to be true – has a compound negative effect on people of colour. Not only are they experiencing racism, they also have to try to fight it while people around them repeatedly tell them that it doesn’t exist.
Dr Pragya Agarwal, author of Sway, a book about unconscious bias, says racial gaslighting is a way of ensuring that accusations of racism lose credibility.
‘In my view, it is a form of psychological abuse really because it makes the minority groups doubt their own instincts, and they become disenfranchised by continually feeling like an outsider,’ explains Pragya.
‘Racial microaggressions are one type of gaslighting and they leave people feeling unsure of the intent and wondering if they are being over-sensitive.’
She adds that gaslighting is all about gaining the upper hand and the gaslighter positioning themselves in a place of superior power to the gaslightee.
‘It works through white privilege and white supremacy and the exisiting racialised hierarchies in our society,’ says Pragya.
‘Profiling people while passing through immigration, is one example that I can think of that relates to my own experience.
‘While the impression is given that these searches are completely random, and the processes are fair and equitable, any person of colour who has travelled will know that this is not the case.
‘We know that when we travel, we expect to be pulled up at passport control even when we carry legitimate travel documents, passports and visas. And, there is no way that we can say that we have been stopped because we are being racially profiled,’ Pragya explains.
‘These kinds of macroaggressions are symptomatic of systemic and structural racism, but they operate in a way that the person being gaslighted is not able to hold the person who is doing it accountable.’
It is this complete lack of power that makes racial gaslighting so insidious and so draining for ethnic minorities.
There is also the fear that if you continue to call out racism in the face of flat denials, you can be painted as angry, defensive or as having a ‘chip on your shoulder’.
It is both disempowering and utterly maddening to be told that you are ‘looking for racism’ or imagining it, when you know exactly what you have experienced. Particularly when the people telling you the racism doesn’t exist are people who have never and could never experience it themselves.
Taylor-Dior Rumble is a writer and actor, and she has direct experience with being racially gaslit.
‘It’s a very common technique among abusers and narcissists,’ Taylor-Dior tells Metro.co.uk.
‘While we often look at gaslighting as something that’s done between two people in an intimate relationship, it’s no different to how this country responds to Black and brown people, whenever we’re tasked with “proving” that racism still exists in Britain.’
Taylor-Dior says that the repeated assertion that Britain is ‘not racist’ or it is ‘the least racist country’ is a form of gaslighting for people of colour who live with the knowledge that their lives in Britain are directly affected by racism and inequality.
‘UX designer Ogor Chukwuu recently made a great guide on racial gaslighting and its many forms. Statements like, “Why is it always about race?” and, “Just to play devil’s advocate here…” are examples of gaslighting.
‘The way some news outlets tried to sugarcoat those clearly racist riots by Tommy Robinson’s goons just this weekend gone, is a recent example of gaslighting.’
She says this tactic deflects honest conversations about race, minimises the voices of people of colour and puts the onus on them to fix something that they didn’t create.
‘Being racially gaslit feels like screaming underwater in a room full of people,’ says Taylor-Dior.
‘When you’ve been discriminated against throughout your entire life, you can recognise it in an instant, it’s like a sixth sense. So, when people turn around and ask you to prove your reality, it’s truly maddening.
‘Especially when it’s so blindingly obvious – such as the mistreatment of Meghan Markle in the press in comparison to the treatment of Kate Middleton or the disproportionate amount of Black and Asian Covid-19 death.’
Taylor-Dior says that Home Secretary Priti Patel was guilty of racially gaslighting Black people when she used her own experience of racism to shut down debate about anti-racism protests.
It’s a view that is shared by the 30 Black and Asian Labour MPs who wrote an open letter to Priti Patel saying:
‘We write to you as black, Asian and ethnic minority Labour MPs to highlight our dismay at the way you used your heritage and experiences of racism to gaslight the very real racism faced by black people and communities across the UK.’
Taylor-Dior says it’s things like this that make her feel as though we are living in teo different versions of Britain.
‘When the gaslighting is done by another minority, such as the way Priti Patel does so effortlessly, it feels like someone’s twisting the knife,’ she says.
‘It needs to be called out because until we respect the experiences and plight of Black people, we will never be able to dismantle the racism in this country.
‘How are we ever going to be able to cure a sickness Britain has convinced itself it doesn’t have?’
Do you have a story to share? We want to hear from you.
Gingham blankets and wicker baskets at the ready – Monday marks the start of National Picnic Week.
With the weather set to make a dramatic U-turn, there’s no doubt people will be out in force at parks and beauty spots, enjoying food and drink in the sunshine.
But if you don’t fancy making your own sandwiches, Pret has launched a new range of products, ahead of the week-long celebration.
The chain has brought out three new picnic products: a smoked salmon and avocado platter, a Ploughman’s platter and a humous and crudités platter – all designed to be shared between two.
The £8.99 salmon and avocado box features Scottish smoked salmon slices, avocado, creamy soft cheese, cucumber, red onion and lemon wedges. It can be purchased in either the ‘Brunch Bundle’ – which comes with orange juice and baguettes – or in a ‘Picnic Bundle’ which includes crisps, baguettes, Pure Pret Still drinks and brownies.
The £8.49 Ploughman’s platter, on the other hand, is made up of Wiltshire-cured ham, mature cheddar, roasted tomatoes, free-range eggs, cucumber, baby plum tomatoes, Pret pickle and mixed salad leaves.
Whereas the £7.29 humous and crudités platter – as you might expect – includes cucumber and red pepper crudités, baby plum tomatoes and humous. This is also available in a ‘Picnic Bundle’, with additional snacks.
Hannah Dolan, global head of food innovation at Pret said: ‘We know that many of our customers are meeting up with family and friends in the park or in their gardens, after months of being apart, and our team of chefs wanted to create something to help celebrate that moment.
‘Our range of picnic platters take the fuss out of hosting and buying individual items. Go one step further and order a bundle via one of our delivery partners, and you’ll be the envy of the park.’
Each platter is now available in Pret stores nationwide, or via delivery on Deliveroo.
Many people have been getting creative in lockdown in their homes, turning trash into treasure and making wonderful new furniture items and crafts.
Sofa company ScS decided to have a competition to see just who flexed their creative muscles most, and the winners have now been revealed.
Jacqui Ruddy, 56, from Manchester, was crowned the winner of the competition after creating an incredible 9ft long playhouse boat for her seven-year-old nephew made entirely of cardboard.
Having beaten over 200 other entrants, she will receive a brand new sofa from ScS. Not bad given the original creation didn’t cost her a penny.
Jacqui said: ‘My nephew loves boats, so to brighten our days during lockdown, I decided to try my hand at making him a playhouse boat, so he can play in the garden.
‘It is the first time I’ve made anything like this before. My nephew loves it and we have even camped out in it overnight, so it’s already special for those memories.’
And Jacqui wasn’t the only one who’s been busy. Check out the rest of the top 10.
Rachel Watson, 26, Ipswich
Rachel’s husband cooked up a treat when he made their daughter this fabulous kitchen workstation.
He used free wooden pallets and leftover paint for his creation, which his daughter absolutely adores.
Jodie Loveridge, 30, Hereford
This beautiful piece of garden furniture was made entirely from wooden pallets, and now makes a gorgeous space where Jodie and her husband can relax during the Summer.
Catherine Okey, 25, Brighton
After the pandemic put an end to Catherine and her fiance’s plans to go away to celebrate their fifth anniversary, they decided to make their own tropical den.
The result was this attic renovation, so they can enjoy a holiday feel in their very own home.
Duncan Aston, 43, St Neots
Duncan built an amazing den/summerhouse in his garden with the help of his family.
He did the construction, his children took on the painting, and his partner decorated – a real team effort.
Andy Wilson, 46, Oldham
Andy Wilson decided that he couldn’t just make a DIY project for himself, creating this ‘chicknic table’ for his hens to enjoy.
He used leftover wood for the table, and the chickens seem to be having lots of fun with it already.
Terri Pucill, 67, Derbyshire
Although Terri can’t have guests at the moment, her shed is well prepped for when she’s allowed.
She painted and decorated the outdoor building, and put up some summer decorations to make it her own.
Carrie-Anne Brown, 27, Kent
This sofa bench was made by Carrie-Anne so she can chill in her garden while her little boys play.
She used wooden pallets for the structure, and added wheels on the bottom to make it portable.
James Grist, 36, Otford
Another ‘eggshell-ent’ project, James and his partner built two hutches to house the quails they bought during lockdown.
He says it’s their first attempt at DIY but you certainly can’t tell.
Will Brown, 30, London
Will created this bohemian paradise in his garage, with a homemade bar providing refreshments for his family’s ukulele jam nights.
Dale Gillespie, Head of Acquisition at ScS, said: ‘We were blown away by the number and quality of entries in our competition – it’s clear that Brits have put their time in lockdown to very good use!
‘Jacqui’s fantastic playhouse boat was a very worthy winner and we’re delighted to provide her with a brand new sofa.’
Do you have a brilliant DIY project that you’d love to share?
With many of us still at home all day, great snacks have never been so important.
As a result, we’re always on the lookout for the next big thing in the world of treats – and we just might have found it.
Galaxy has turned one of its popular chocolate bars into spreadable form.
The chocolate brand has just launched a limited edition Chocolate Cookie Crumble spread – which is perfect for slathering on toast, or eating straight out the jar (no judgement here).
Essentially, the new product is just the popular chocolate melted down into spread form, with the addition of crunchy cocoa biscuits.
‘A fabulous combination of smooth, silky Galaxy combined with a cocoa biscuit crunch,’ describes the Mars-owned brand.
The product is currently on sale at B&M for £2 – but it’s only available for a limited time, so chocolate lovers will have to act fast to get their hands on a pot.
The new Galaxy spread was first spotted on the NewFoodsUK Instagram page and sweet tooths were quick to comment on the new arrival.
FOMU stands for fear of meeting up, describing all the anxiety surrounding actually seeing people IRL instead of over Zoom after months of life in lockdown.
FOMU has been coined by dating app Badoo, so naturally they’re discussing it in terms of nerves around meeting someone you’ve been virtually dating, but FOMU can also pop up when your pals ask for a socially distanced catchup in the park and you feel immense anxiety around doing so.
Badoo’s survey of 1,003 single adults aged 18-65 years old from the UK found that three in five (that’s 60%, maths fans) single people are feeling anxious about going on dates in real life again, due to worries of catching or spreading Covid-19, increased social anxiety, and feeling shy about meeting people they’ve only spoken to online in real life.
Along with FOMU, people surveyed said they’re reluctant to go back to real-life dating after months of enjoying doing things virtually.
We’ve been enjoying being able to date without having to spend money or travel.
Despite this, lockdown measures being eased has encouraged people to slowly get back into the dating game, with a third having planned a socially distanced date for the weekend and 23% of those surveyed saying they plan to make up for lost time in lockdown by going hard on dating.
Persia Lawton, a dating expert and love coach, offers some tips for overcoming FOMU in the world of dating and relationships – and the key, as with many things, is communication.
Plan your date together in advance over video call
‘It’s always worth communicating with your date beforehand about how you’re both feeling about the current guidelines, and how you’re going to approach the date knowing the rules in place,’ says Persia. ‘It’s important to be honest about any nervousness you feel, especially as the chances are that your date is probably feeling the same.
‘This will also enable you both to know what the other looks like and help break the ice so that you’re not going into the date totally blind.
‘A good suggestion would be to decide on a park that is in relatively easy reach for both of you. You can then each bring your own blanket, food and drink (and of course hand sanitiser!) – just be sure to position your blankets a good two metres away from one another.
‘You could also choose to go on a socially-distanced walk or bike-ride.
‘As with normal dating, I’d also recommend creating a mental checklist of questions to ask your date, just in case there are any awkward pauses.’
Talk about your nerves
You don’t need to pretend you’re totally chill with all that’s going on. It’s normal to feel anxious and it can help loads to talk about it.
Natasha Briefel, UK marketing director at Badoo, says: ‘Meeting someone IRL after being in lockdown for so long is nerve-wracking, but once you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and you feel comfortable with them, it’s a natural step to take.
‘It helps to get to know your date on a deeper level beforehand by chatting via video call – you’ll definitely be able to get a sense of your chemistry.
‘Your date is likely to be nervous too, so just be honest about how you’re feeling, and the likelihood is that you’ll be able to chat through how the socially distanced date will work and it will put your mind to rest. As we enter a new stage, with lockdown measures relaxing and everyone trying to find their feet, we urge daters to approach this period with honesty and kindness, as we all try to adapt to another new normal of courtship.’
Embrace going slow with the physical stuff
You might be allowed to meet up in the park, but bear in mind that the rules around lockdown still prohibit having sex at home or getting physically intimate.
Don’t look at this as a bad thing. A ban on sex can stop you rushing into things.
‘These new guidelines mean that you and your date won’t be going back to one another’s houses to get in between the sheets any time soon,’ Persia explains. ‘This is a good thing, as it enables you to really suss out whether you’re actually compatible before things get physical – meaning that if you wind up being ghosted or your date tells you that they’re not really feeling it, it will hurt a hell of a lot less than if you’d had sex (or even kissed!).
‘Start thinking of socially-distanced dating as courtship, and it all becomes really rather exciting!
‘After all, good conversation is arguably the biggest aphrodisiac of them all (and just think how good the sex will be if/when it does happen!).’
Celebrate a low-cost date
Having dates in the real world doesn’t mean you have to rush back into expensive drinks and dinners.
Persia says: ‘With very limited options as to what you can do (i.e. you have to be outside and maintain two metres distance), there will be minimal regret over picking a shoddy venue.
‘Plus – you won’t have to shell out a small fortune for ridiculous meal or bar fees, deal with frustratingly long queues or suffer through the diners on the table next to yours eating or talking too loudly – the benefits just keep stacking up!’
Embrace the weirdness
Look, we’re in a pandemic. Dating right now is going to be very strange.
You’re going to need to be with someone who’s able to take it easy and have a laugh at just how surreal this new world of dating can be.
‘This is such a bizarre situation that it will certainly give you and your date a topic of conversation, if nothing else,’ says Persia. ‘I think the anxiety people are feeling around FOMU is as much about being out of practice of dating IRL as it is about contracting the virus itself.
‘But, fear not, dating is really just like riding a bicycle – you never really forget.
‘Remind yourself that you will (hopefully!) never have to date like this again in the future, so you may as well make the most of the novelty while it’s here. After all, one day this will no doubt serve as a hilarious story to share with your grandchildren!’
With social gatherings in England still limited to six people outdoors with social distancing measures in place – or one person mixing with a single household in a ‘support bubble’ – Father’s Day get-togethers might be a little bit more low-key than usual.
All of which means – if you’re unable to have a family get-together – that it’s even more important than usual that your Father’s Day card gets to its destination in time.
If you haven’t posted your card yet, when should you – and which stamps will ensure it gets there?
How long do first and second class stamps take to deliver?
First-class letters and cards in the UK should, under normal circumstances, be delivered the day after they are posted.
Prices for a first-class stamp start at 76p for any item up to 100g in weight (which should cover the majority of cards), with the cost rising for heavier letters and parcels.
Second-class letters and cards in the UK are regarded as less urgent mail, and can take up to two to three working days for delivery.
For second-class, the price of a stamp starting at 65p for letters up to 100g.
Will my Father’s Day card get there in time?
If you’re posting your Father’s Day cards today, your best chance of them arriving in time for the big day will be to send it with a first class stamp.
However it’s worth bearing in mind that in the wake of the current pandemic there have been some changes to the service, with Royal Mail saying on its website that some services may be disrupted due to Covid-19.
While Saturday deliveries were temporarily suspended in lockdown, these were resumed as of last Saturday, 13 June – which means that you have an extra day for your card to be delivered.
There are no deliveries on Sundays though – so you should get your card in the post today if you want to give it the best chance of being there on Father’s Day.
If you want to be absolutely certain it will arrive you can check the Royal Mail’s website for other delivery options, including signed for and tracked items – although these will cost you more than a standard first class letter or card.
Due to the coronavirus pandemic, the services were temporarily suspended on 23 March – and quite rightly so, as NHS staff were pushed to their limits and thousands of people were losing their lives.
I, along with thousands of women across the country, breathed a sigh of relief that our journey to conceive a child could continue.
Not long after tying the knot with my husband James in September, we started trying for a baby. At the age of 38, some would say (and I’d be inclined to agree) that I was knocking on a bit to become a first-time mum. I think the correct term is ‘geriatric mum’.
Despite a decline in fertility, plenty of women have children in their late thirties and forties – Meghan Markle, Gwen Stefani and Geri Halliwell to name a few – and it is becoming more and more ‘normal’ these days.
I also had an added complication, in that I had been taking Citalopram medication since 2017 to treat anxiety and depression. Medical research suggests (although not definitively) that taking SSRIs (the group of tablets Citalopram belong too) can increase the risk of miscarriage and premature birth.And, in early pregnancy, they could slightly increase the risk of your baby developing heart defects, spina bifida or a cleft lip.
At the time we began trying to conceive I had reduced my dosage to 10mg, so reasonably low, although I did still feel like I needed them. Maybe I saw them as a crutch, or perhaps it was habitual. As we moved into the New Year, I made the conscious decision to come off the antidepressants altogether and discussed it with my GP. I felt much stronger, and I wanted to give us the best possible chance of having a baby.
With this type of medication, I couldn’t just suddenly stop taking them; I had to slowly reduce my intake over four weeks, (sometimes it can take even longer), to prevent any withdrawal symptoms.
As we headed into March, I was fully functioning without the tablets, and we’d also reached a milestone in our pregnancy quest. After six months of unsuccessfully trying, it was time to visit the GP and take the first step into a fertility investigation. (It is advised that women aged over 36 should visit their doctor if they haven’t conceived within six months).
I was subsequently booked in for a ‘Fertility MOT’ as I like to call it. It involves undergoing an ultrasound scan and blood tests to measure certain hormone levels, and my husband obtained an appointment for his semen analysis. We were on the first rung of the ladder.
That was until it was announced that all non-urgent outpatient appointments and routine surgery would be postponed to allow NHS staff to deal with the Covid-19 outbreak. While I completely supported this, I was also really disappointed. But you remind yourself there are others in much worse situations, and you carry on.
As lockdown swept the country on 23 March and coronavirus pandemic spread, life started to change for us all – and my mental health took a hit.
The enormity of what was happening around us was difficult to process and being stuck indoors together constantly puts pressure on any relationship, newlywed or not.
I started to become anxious about my work as a freelance writer, which had reduced due to effects of coronavirus.
I was also pent up with worry over my family. My mother finished her radiotherapy to treat breast cancer, and my dad is in the latter stages of dementia, and he was particularly struggling with the lockdown.
This all inevitably led to a return of my anxiety and depression, days full of tears and low moods and some days not wanting to get out of bed or talk to people. And don’t even get me started on the Zoom anxiety – as someone who finds these sorts of calls overwhelming and stressful, I’m still struggling with that.
I tried to counteract this by throwing myself into volunteering in the local community, running the food bank and collecting and delivering donations. I even took up running through the Couch to 5k app, something I never thought I’d do.
Some might ask why I didn’t restart taking the Citalopram. It did cross my mind, but I was conscious of the negative impact it could have on a potential pregnancy. And it can take between four and six weeks to start working properly.
Often it can make you feel worse before you feel better, with side effects including insomnia, nausea, weakness, and dizziness. I didn’t want to put myself through those again, especially during a time of uncertainty. It was an internal battle for me to decide the best course of action.
In April, during the height of lockdown, I turned 39. Not a particularly significant birthday you’d think, but as I learnt it is the difference between one round of NHS IVF treatment or three.
According to the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence guidelines, women under 40 should be offered three cycles of IVF treatments. But this is a postcode lottery and ultimately the area you live in defines how many treatments you are entitled to. Fortunately, it is three in my borough.
However, now everything is on hold, who knows what is going to happen? I feel at a crossroads about what decisions to make for the best. We are almost 10 months in and still no nearer to conceiving. Fertility treatment has recently restarted in private clinics, and in some NHS areas, but in plenty it still hasn’t – including mine.
It is also inevitable that the waiting list for treatments will now increase because there is such a backlog. It is becoming more evident to me that by the time we have gone through the fertility cycle, I will have reached 40 and only be entitled to one round of IVF.
So, do we plough our savings into it and go private to speed up the process? That could have a detrimental impact on other areas of our life. Just a basic fertility test starts at £500, and IVF cycles begin at around £3,000, so we have to be careful, as it could end up costing thousands with no guaranteed result.
I often blame myself for waiting so long to start a family, which does have an adverse affect on my wellbeing. Now, as lockdown begins to ease, I feel like I have the strength again to continue to improve my mental health, stay on the fertility rollercoaster and keep hopeful for a positive outcome.
Attention, fans of nosing around other people’s finances: How I Save is back.
For those not in the know, How I Save is a weekly series that tracks a person’s spending for a week, looks at their saving habits, then gets them some expert advice on how they can save and spend better (although often just tracking their outgoings for a week helps them sort out their finances).
It’s always anonymous, because people can get judgey about money.
This week we have a special lockdown edition of How I Save, looking at how the coronavirus pandemic has affected Amber*’s money situation.
Amber is a 26-year-old working in PR and living in Clapham. Here’s how she saves and spends.
How Amber saves:
I earn £37,500 a year and in my savings account right now I have £1,192.
I only have this much money saved because we’ve just had payday. I move over £500 each month when I get paid but end up taking it back out because I hit my overdraft.
I’d like to buy a house one day, but I’m not sure if that’s possible.
I don’t really save. I try to put money away on payday and have tried sticking to budgets, but they always go wrong. I think I go too strict, where I’ll give myself a tight food budget then end up buying takeout because I haven’t got enough food.
I thought I would save loads of money in lockdown but it’s been the opposite. I’ve ended up spending so much money on gin to drink at home, loads of food, and stupid stuff I don’t need.
How Amber spends:
Monthly expenses:
Rent: £670
Bills: £60
Phone: £40
A week of spending:
Monday: £39 goes on Etsy for some nice candles for my room, then £24.95 for some earl grey gin that looked nice.
I do my big food shop today. I’m having to go to a Sainsbury’s local instead of the Aldi, so it’s been more expensive – £42.48.
I end up doing an Indian order-in for £24.59 – but that’s enough for my lunch tomorrow, too. I’m working from home so haven’t been buying my usual Pret sandwiches.
Total spent on Monday: £131.02
Tuesday: My bra has had its underwire poking out for ages, so I buy some new bras and underwear from M&S – total spent comes to £69. I’ve also just spotted a mystery Apple bill for £6.49 – I’m not sure what that is.
Total spent on Tuesday: £75.49
Wednesday: I got out £150 cash so I could get some coke. I would have just done £50 but I messaged my dealer and he said it was only worth coming round if I got more than a couple of grams. I don’t know why I did this, honestly. I would only normally pick up if there’s a big night out. I think I just wanted to see if I could pick up in lockdown and thought if I got a lot, it would last me for the rest of the month.
He delivered it wearing gloves and a mask.
Total spent on Wednesday: £150.
Thursday: I didn’t spend any money today, just ate what I picked up earlier in the week.
Total spent on Thursday: £0
Friday: I know I have a pile of books to read but I still go on Waterstones and order more, along with a jigsaw puzzle, because that’s what you’re supposed to do in lockdown. £39.72.
I get pizza for a tenner, which I think is pretty good.
Total spent on Friday:£49.72
Saturday: I went to the park and on the way got a takeaway pint for £6 – mostly for the novelty of it. I get a £1.30 99 cone when I see the ice cream van, because that was exciting.
Total spent on Saturday: £7.30
Sunday: Had a no-spend day until the evening Zoom quiz, when I realised I didn’t have any tonic water for my gin. I ordered some through an UberEats off-licence, along with some packs of crisps to avoid the small order fee – it comes to £16.58
Total spent on Sunday: £16.58
Total spent this week: £430.11
How Amber could save:
We spoke to the experts over at Plum, the smart app for managing your money to find out how Amber can save better (and what we can learn from her spending).
Here’s what they said:
Hey, Amber, thanks for sharing your week in lockdown with us!
The Covid-19 pandemic has been a challenging and surreal time which has had a big impact on all our finances in some way. Many people are on a reduced salary or have lost their jobs due to the lockdown. Others, who are able to safely work from home, may have found their spending has dropped and they’ve been able to put aside more than they expected.
Thanks to this reduction in spending, at Plum we’ve seen the amount of savings go up by 5x since the beginning of the year. But the pandemic has affected everyone differently.
Let’s take a closer look at how you’ve been getting on…
Saving
We talk a lot here at Plum about intention vs action. From your diary, it does sound like you have good intentions when it comes to saving, which is a good place to start.
But actions speak louder than words. If your saving strategy means you end the month hitting your overdraft, it’s frankly not working for you. Stop torturing yourself and find something that actually does the job so you can start smashing those financial goals.
We’re going to let you into a secret. You don’t actually need discipline to start building up a savings pot! Plum links directly to your bank account and stashes away small amounts when you can afford it. We use an algorithm to make sure you’re saving, which we’ve proven is much more effective than human willpower alone. Money is stashed away in your Plum account so you’re less likely to spend it.
Our next suggestion would be to start smaller when it comes to your goals. A house deposit is a noble aim for sure. But we’re sensing this probably isn’t your top priority right now, and that’s evident in the lack of dedication to it that you’re currently demonstrating. So find a smaller target that actually means something to you. An emergency fund is a good place to start, or maybe something more fun like a holiday. Once you’ve got into the habit of saving, the sky will be your limit, we promise!
Spending
It’s not been an easy few months for anyone. So although you haven’t saved as much in lockdown as you hoped, we sense that you may be spending to retain a sense of normality, which is completely understandable.
What is harder to understand are the spontaneous purchases… £16.58 on tonic water and crisps is a lot, by anyone’s standards! And the less said about the £150 you spent on a delivery of illegal drugs during a global pandemic, the better.
Regardless of whether these purchases bring meaningful value to your life, cutting them out would certainly make a big impact on your ability to curb spending.
It’s never too late to build some positive habits around money, if you really want to improve. A good place to start would be understanding your spending habits a bit better. Plum’s Diagnostics tool can compare your spending to others in a similar financial bracket, so you can clearly see where you’re spending more or less.
A realistic budget will help you to get a handle on the wild spending too. It doesn’t need to be overly strict, but you need to separate out your ‘fun’ money from everyday expenses at least. That way you can indulge your spontaneous side without going too extreme.
Every day is a new day, and with a good salary and no outstanding debt you’re in a strong position to start building a better financial future for yourself. But it won’t happen by magic. You’re going to have to really want it to translate that desire into tangible actions!
*Name has been changed.
How I Save is a weekly series about how people spend and save, out every Thursday. If you’d like to anonymously share how you spend and save – and get some expert advice on how to sort out your finances – get in touch by emailing ellen.scott@metro.co.uk.
If you want more tips and tricks on saving money, as well as chat about cash and alerts on deals and discounts, join our Facebook Group, Money Pot.
Instagram is filled with pictures of ‘shelfies’, where people post their skincare products laid out beautifully.
Brands like Drunk Elephant, Aesop, Sisley, and Omorovicza are normally spotted in these photographs, with prices for certain potions in their hundreds.
If you decide to emulate and level up your skincare routine, you’ll understandably not want to waste a drop, so a tutorial like this on how much to use is invaluable.
An Australian brand called Mukti Organics created a graphic that gives us a good idea of how big or small a dollop we should be putting on when it comes to products like serum and moisturiser.
Using everyday items to size up your squirts of creams, you’ll no longer be putting on too much, and therefore saving money in the long run.
Using too little of a product can be just as much of a mistake as using too much, as you won’t get the full benefit of all the active ingredients.
An eye cream only covers a small amount of your face, and is gently patted in to help plump. On the other hand, when it comes to sun protection you’ll need a lot more product as you need to make sure your whole face is covered.
How much of each product to use
Cleanser – 10p
Exfoliant – almond
Masque – £2 coin
Serum – coffee bean
Elixir – coffee bean
Retinol – pea
Eye – pea
Moisturiser – 10p
Oil – 5p to 10p (depending on skin dryness)
Moisturiser with sun protection – 50p
Remember, too, that you don’t necessarily need to do every step in your routine every day.
If you over-exfoliate skin – whether using chemicals or an abrasive substance – you can wear down natural barriers and cause irritation and redness. For exfoliation, for example, you should aim for every couple of days.
Ingredients like retinol need to be introduced gradually, which is why some people like to start a skincare diary to track symptoms that might come about when bringing new products into their routine.
Do you have any great tips that you’d like to share?
The death of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Rayshard Brooks and other high-profile cases in America has instigated a fervour to defund the police and in turn abolish them.
Abolitionism is the campaign to disband, disempower, and disarm the police in answer to numerous cases of police brutality in the US.
Abolitionists believe that the policing system is inherently flawed and that even reforms will do little to address the institutional bias that places extra scrutiny and violence on Black and people of colour.
The concept of abolition might seem pretty drastic but the goal is simply getting to a place where the police aren’t needed.
Defunding the police isn’t about firing police departments en masse but strategically redistributing resources, funding, and power away from the police and into community-based models of safety and prevention.
In addition to quelling stop and search powers, disarming officers of guns and tasers, the aim of abolition is to also decriminalise drugs, sex work, migration, poverty,
So what would abolition in the UK actually look like – and what would it mean for public safety?
The obvious questions around abolishing police powers are what happens to murderers, rapists, stalkers, and generally violent people?
The abolitionist alternative seeks for qualified individuals only to deal with victims – detectives who will tread sensitively in cases of rape, mental health first aiders who will have the victim’s interests at the forefront, counsellor support, de-escalation experts where necessary.
For example, if you’re experiencing domestic violence, you would be able to call a crisis prevention specialist who is able to meet you in a safe place or take you to one.
The move involves trained urgent responders that are unarmed, mental health specialists, trauma-informed crisis prevention teams, community activists and more.
Abolitionists argue that the current system isn’t stopping crimes anyway.
Hajera Begum, who works with Abolitionist Futures, a collective feminist abolitionist movement, says the police system was created to control, not protect.
She explains: ‘If the police were keeping us safe, we’d see crime numbers falling.
‘Institutional structures come with all the biases and injustices we see in the world in terms of race, gender, religion, all of that is embedded in police structures which makes things worse.
‘The policing state, counter-extremism strategies like Prevent aren’t good for anyone who’s dissented but it’s worse for people who are Muslim. It targets Black and brown people first and for the worst.
Hajera adds: ‘As a woman, rape is a real fear, however, rape still goes on despite having a police structure in place.
‘It doesn’t make sense, the sentences rapists get, the low numbers of conviction. We need to move money away from police and give it to people who specailise in sensitively handling rape cases, and people who can put victims at the centre.
‘In domestic violence cases, our instinct is to call police but will that keep the victim safe? We’re so reliant because we have no alternative. But we need someone to make that person safe, for a place for them to go, in a sustainable way. We need to give money to the right people to handle the situation, deescalate where necessary, provide refuge for the victim.’
Hajera also adds that it’s important to not think of abolition as unattainable but something we need to start making changes towards now.
‘The fact that we’re even discussing it and trying to enact it is really positive.’
While a lot of the discussion centres on the US, people who have felt the effects of Britain’s institutional problem want others to know how insidious the problem is here.
One such person is Ajibola Lewis, whose son Olaseni was killed in 2010 after 11 officers restrained him in hospital, where he admitted himself for mental health treatment.
His brain was starved of oxygen and he died four days later.
Ajibola explains to Metro.co.uk: ‘The idea that this is an American issue is simply not true. It is very real here. In America they have guns, but here in the UK, the police kill people up close and personal, choking the life out of them in some of the most brutal ways imaginable.
‘Seni admitted himself to hospital voluntarily, what he needed and had asked for was help and care. There was no need for the police to be involved and they added nothing to the situation. Had they not been present Seni would still be alive today.’
Because of cases like these, abolitionists want to move away from police and instead work on empowering qualified mental health first aiders and de-escalation experts in times of personal crisis.
“Abolition is about one thing, which is everything” – Ruth Wilson Gilmore
— Abolition Is A Presence (@jaybeware) June 15, 2020
Advocates of the cause stress that abolition is a gradual, long-term goal and if we defunded police right now, we would still have crime due to growing inequalities.
An abolitionist future fights to not only understand why crimes happen – which usually occur when a person’s basic needs aren’t met – but also prioritise the victim and make sure they’re able to survive and live a happy, fulfilling life.
The movement has also been backed by anti-racism campaigner and ex-Met police staffer Adam Pugh.
Adam believes that the cause isn’t really about abolishing the police, but rather abolishing the social conditions and inequalities that exist.
He tells us: ‘Abolition is about getting to the root of the problem rather than simply responding or reacting to this problem.
‘When you ask people to close their eyes and imagine the safest place on earth, whether it be real or made up, nobody ever imagines the presence of a police officer.
‘So we don’t actually require the police to make us feel safe and for many the presence of the police actually makes them feel unsafe. It isn’t simply about defunding and reducing the police and that is it. It’s about using that money and those resources to invest in other areas that make our communities safer.
‘Policing does not keep our communities safe and fails to get to the root cause of the issue. As such, I believe that abolition is the only credible way forward.’
i cant wait for abolition. i cant for empty police precincts to turn into community gardens and free housing for anyone in our community who needs it. i cant wait for police cars to be repurposed and given to moms taking the bus from one job to another. i cant wait for abolition
The premise of abolition is based on contesting the very concept of authority.
Professor of media and cultural studies at the University of California Dylan Rodriguez has written about and studied abolition extensively. He thinks the problem – which he believes is global – lies within giving power to individuals.
He says: ‘To execute fatal violence in on the basis of your own judgment is an inhuman practice, to inhabit that power is inhuman.’
Have you ever seen a copâs uniform? The whole thing, including every accessory, zipper, and badge, is designed to intimidate and easily inflict violence. Itâs like they canât help themselves. Their uniform makes it so easy for them to consider a violent solution.
The move to abolition may seem idealistic to many but Professor Rodriguez is certain it’s possible in our lifetimes.
He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘It is not only possible, it is clearly necessary.
‘To think of police abolition right now, not only in this lifetime, but in this breath, is to plan for other ways of protecting ourselves, loved ones, community, and place. We could begin, perhaps, by redistributing resources away from militarised domestic warfare (policing) and toward housing, feeding, educating, and nourishing the most vulnerable and disfranchised people in our midst.’
In response to the race row police departments find embattled themselves in, some say that reformation is better than abolition.
However, many abolitionists argue that reforms have been tried and tested but the problems still endured. Notably, the Minneapolis police attempted to reform in the past by implementing training on implicit bias, mindfulness, de-escalation, crisis intervention, and diversity. And yet the George Floyd killing happened a few years later.
Professor Rodriquez says that to go toward the destination of abolition means a complete overhaul on how things operate and an active effort to dismantle capitalist, racist and classist systems that deny the humanity of the most vulnerable i.e low-earning Black, Asian, Latinx, queer, trans, disabled, homeless people.
Some member-led organisations have already begun the work to look out for their communities while holding the powerful to account.
Account Hackney initially began to investigate the number of stops and searches – which disproportionately affect Black and Asian youths – in the borough and expanded to encomass a range of issues faced by the youth.
A spokesperson tells Metro.co.uk: ‘If young people have been mistreated by police, they don’t have avenues to represent themselves or have a voice.
‘Young people have low trust in the complaints system. Policing systems aren’t seen as trustworthy
‘The people being over-policed lack political power i.e travellers, vagrancy laws, poor working-class people, young Black men.’
The youth network is also about allowing these communities to begin the process of healing from generational trauma.
‘Part of that healing is an acknowledgment of the history and their injustice. There needs to be a space where they can lead to change. Abolitionism needs to involve the people most affected by these issues.’
There’s certainly power in community – we’ve seen the impact of people-led efforts to not only curb the spread of coronavirus but to keep ourselves sane during the pandemic.
Abolitionists want to show that punishment is not the natural response to crime, in the way that a chair is not the opposite of a table (the opposite would be something without legs),
Rather, policing and punishment is an unsustainable solution that takes away the opportunity to weed out the problem at the root.
And, they argue, spaces where people are not over-policed and able to enjoy their lives with appropriate funds, have been enjoyed by white suburban communities.
Now, abolitionists want the money saved to be used towards youth centres, mental health provisions, community spaces, support for young mums, relief for people impacted by violence, affordable health care.
We reached out to the Metropolitan Police regarding the Olaseni Lewis case.
Here is their statement in full: ‘The death of Olaseni Lewis was a tragedy which raised a number of important issues, and resulted in lessons being learnt and improvements to policies and training in this area.
‘The officers were sent that day into a very difficult and challenging set of circumstances. Over the ten years that have passed since Mr. Lewis died, the way in which the Met would respond to someone in mental health crisis in a medical institution has fundamentally changed.
‘Mr. Lewis’ family has helped us bring about further improvements; working closely with both the MPS and South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust to ensure that compassionate and high-quality care is at the heart of everything we do.’
In regards to the comments about Prevent, we’ve reached out to the Home Office for comment.
A Home Office spokesperson said: ‘It is wrong to suggest that Prevent is focused on any one community or leads to anyone being criminalised.
‘Prevent protects vulnerable people from all kinds of terrorist recruiters and almost half of those it supported last year were referred for concerns around far-right extremism – more than those referred for Islamist-related extremism.’
We’ve also reached out to The Association of Police and Crime Commissioners and the National Police Chiefs’ Council for comment and will update the article once they respond.
In the post, which has amassed 123,000 upvotes, Marina wrote: ‘After getting to know each other for the last few months throughout the lockdown in France and spending some time trying matching outfits for our future first dates, we finally were able to meet and are officially together now!’
Marina added: ‘We both feel that the lockdown allowed us to really get to know each other in a deep and meaningful way!
‘And now that we’ve built a strong foundation, we really appreciate every moment together and are looking forward to the future – even if it feels quite uncertain nowadays.’
People were really here for the romance, wishing them luck for the future.
One person wrote: ‘This is nicest thing I’ve seen on internet in a long time. Good luck’.
Another said: ‘Oh my word, you are adorable together and you’re confirming the French stereotype of being super fashionable! I hope it is the beginning of something wonderful!’
What a great couple. We wonder what they’ll wear on their next socially distanced date.
We have been in lockdown for weeks, months… years? It feels like a lifetime. And we’ve kind of got used to this new normal.
Yes, of course we miss our normal routines, seeing our families, socialising – but a lot of people who have been working from home this whole time are actually enjoying it.
In fact, more than half don’t ever want to go back to office life. They like the flexibility, the extra time to work out, the lack of stressful commute. The thought of going back to the madness of the 9-5 seems unimaginable. And stressful.
But, like it or not, the world is starting to open back up again. Things won’t be exactly the same, at least not for a while, but we will be thrust back into a faster pace of life than we have become accustomed to – and it’s a good idea to get mentally prepared for the shift.
So, if you’re freaking out about the thought of returning to rise-and-grind 9-5 culture, don’t worry.
Psychologist and resident sleep expert at SIMBA, Hope Bastine, has explained what she is doing to recalibrate her routines and mentally prepare:
‘Once we’ve had a taste of a different life, it can feel hard to go back,’ says Hope. ‘But it’s not impossible.
‘Just as the idea of working remotely seemed hugely daunting at the beginning of lockdown, we’ve adapted and navigated lots of challenges thrown at us.
‘Fortunately, there are a host of techniques to help us become a bit more adaptable. Mindset is crucial in this.
‘Take some time to think about how you wish to go forward into this new chapter in your life; instead of focusing on the things you can’t do focus on the things you can do.’
Reframe your mind
Hope says you should try reframing dread of returning to work into intrigue – you may well feel excitement about what our working life looks like ahead.
‘Be sure to take note of whether your feelings are and ask yourself what it is that you look forward to,’ says Hope.
‘Lockdown life has given us the chance to press the reset button, catch up on much needed rest, soothe our burnout, and evaluate what’s meaningful and important to us.’
She suggests we should do a productivity-based work-life balance lockdown audit.
‘Reflect on what’s worked for you and what hasn’t and see what changes you can carry into the new post-lockdown world,’ she says. ‘For example, if you managed to run or walk over lunch during lockdown – try and keep this routine back at the office.’
Try to match what’s worked for you in your lockdown-life and match it frame for frame, suggests Hope.
‘You may want to prioritise different types of tasks differently so that they make you feel more in control of your ever-changing life,’ she explains.
‘Manage your expectations. Life has been at a very different pace since lockdown so expecting to run a marathon when you haven’t warmed up is a recipe for disappointment.
‘Set productivity goals that gradually build up your speed and strength so that you continuously feel a sense of achievement rather than disappointment and inadequacy.’
Adjust your sleep schedule for the 9-5
‘Let’s be honest, since lockdown most of us have been falling asleep later and later and waking up later too,’ says Hope.
‘Waking up at 9am when lockdown eventually loosens simply might not fly immediately.’
Hope says we should pick a goal time to wake up and go to bed and ‘micro-adjust’ our schedules incrementally toward our goal time.
‘Aim to give yourself two weeks and start with waking up 15 minutes earlier a day,’ she says.
‘Create sleep pressure by initially reducing your sleep time. So, if you are someone who needs eight hours a day, make yourself tired by only sleeping six hours for about three-four days.
‘It’s easier for us to stay up late than it is for us to wake up early, so waking up earlier to make yourself tired is a simpler formula.
‘After about three days, you should create enough sleep pressure to then start going to bed a little bit earlier too.
‘Then give yourself about six days to catch up on any lost sleep and adjust to your new schedule.’
Work hard play hard
When it comes to getting back to your desk, Hope says we should alternate short bursts of work with short bursts of play.
‘In this way you can minister to both aspects of our mind,’ she says.
‘Rest is an active process. Meaning that your brain needs time and space to process information before we can problem solve.
‘If you are feeling stuck on a problem or you just can find the words, take a walk or refresh your body or don’t be afraid to bounce off some thoughts with a colleague – we’re all going through the same thing so getting a different perspective opens up our vista.’
Burn off stress
‘If you are particularly activated in the morning, starting the day with a short workout,’ suggests Hope.
‘You can burn off just enough stress cortisol to get you in the optimal zone of performance.’
Stay organised
Hope says it is important to ‘ritualise’.
‘Take some time to settle into your workday,’ she says. ‘Organise your desk, write up your to-do list, and plan/structure the tasks ahead.’
Easy does it
‘Gear up your performance demand by kicking off with simpler easy tasks,’ Hope suggests.
‘From sending off the straightforward emails, to the projects that are less mentally demanding.
‘Then work for an hour – if you have a Mac ask Siri to “turn on Do Not Disturb”, or go into your notification settings and turn it on.
‘You also install Chrome Plugins like Freedom or Hocus Focus to block access to apps and websites to help you focus.’
Hope says we should take 15-minute breaks, but use this time to move our bodies – with a stretch, or a short walk.
‘After four cycles of the 60-on-15-off, take a one-hour break,’ she says.
‘Give your mind a period of active rest – or go for a walk/exercise etc – go for a walk to clear the head, clarify the mind, and wring out any residual cortisol coursing through your veins.’
Create a visual time report
Hope says you can use apps like Toggl to track your time and performance.
‘See how well you are doing to help kickstart your motivation and focus when you’re hitting a bit of a slump,’ she says.
‘For some of us, setting the timer has a way of driving us to the finish line. Similarly, when we’re stressed, we’re easily distracted and end up switching between tasks which are not time and energy efficient.
‘With Toggl you can aslo track where your time went and on what. The visual time reports, motivates and empowers us to make more productive adjustments.’
Mentally prepare for the day
Hope’s top tip is don’t schedule important calls and meetings first thing in the morning.
‘Having a high-valued, high-demanding event causes us to suffer from performance anxiety which contributes to tossing and turning throughout the night,’ she explains.
‘By scheduling in that presentation later in your day, if you are a little tired in the morning, you have a little time to lie in and gently mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the task at hand.’
Create a sleep space sanctuary
Night owls are more likely to suffer from ‘Sunday night insomnia’, says Hope.
‘Try to make your bedroom environment and bedtime the most enticing space and time and save all your favourite relaxing activities until the end of the day to make it a place you want to be rather than a space to avoid,’ she suggests.
‘Ensure you have a mattress that properly supports your spine and keeps you cool, to reduce overheating so that your immune system can operate at optimal temperature and to reduce pain, discomfort, and anxiety.’
Keep healthy habits
‘Feed your body and rest your mind,’ says Hope. ‘Eat, drink, and sleep in ways that enhance productive creativity.’
She also suggests that we dial down the caffeine.
‘Those five cups of coffee are not your friend right now – and won’t be for quite some time,’ says Hope. ‘Caffeine mimics the stress response so pumping up on stress is going to tip us over the optimal performance zone.’
Aim for acceptance
‘Accept the things you cannot change,; says Hope.
‘For the foreseeable future we will be in a state of heightened alert and worry.
‘Once you access this is reality as the new normal, it becomes the path of least resistance.
‘You will soften into a way of being that will reduce the extreme highs and lows of this rollercoaster life.’
Do you have a story to share? We want to hear from you.
Fitness lovers will get the six feet pod, which are created using shower curtains and rails, all to themselves.
To prevent a herd of customers trying to use the pods at the same time, Inspire South Bay Fitness will require people to sign up and only let in a few at a time.
Those who are reluctant to use the pods can still access workout classes via Zoom.
Gym owner Peet Sapsin announced the opening on his Instagram where he revealed it took three days to prepare.
He added that users will need to use hand sanitisers while at the gym and also have their temperatures checked upon arrival.
Each pod will also have wipes to sanitise everything before and after use.
Pete wrote: ‘We will have our sanitation and social distancing protocols in place when gyms are allowed to reopen.
‘Our class capacity will be limited but we will get creative with our program. No matter what, we’ve got your back.’
While it’s certainly a novel idea, not everyone is on board with the new measures.
One person wrote: ‘Won’t this do more harm than good? Are you sanitising the interior of the pods after each person uses them?’
Another said: ‘Good idea. The problem is if you have the AC or Fan on, this idea becomes useless.’
But others welcomed the move, saying: ‘You guys rock! Going above and beyond! Glad to see business owners who care and who are educated.’
Would you be want your own gyms to have pods like these?
But along with a desire for more space and cheaper rent, a new trend has emerged, likely as a result of being cooped up inside rented spaces with no garden or balcony.
Rental app Movebubble has found that searches for properties with a garden climbed by 193% in lockdown, while searches for terraces rose by 204%, highlighting how we’ve gained a new appreciation for outdoor space.
Also on the up are searches for properties with bike storage, up 1500% in lockdown – likely as we’re confronted with the struggle to get public transport safely.
Below are the most viewed available-to-rent properties on the Movebubble platform, all with plenty of outdoor space.
Gaze upon them, dream of moving there, and if you can actually afford the rent, go ahead and nose around with a video viewing.
Then go ahead and make us jealous by posting Instagrams from your dreamy rooftop. We’re very envious.
This one’s on the pricey end of things, considering it’s a one-bedroom flat with one bathroom.
You do get your own balcony, though, and the lusted-after outdoor space is up the roof, where there are hammocks, table tennis, and giant chess pieces.
There’s also bike storage, so cyclists are looked after.
Yep, that’s the cost of renting the entire house. Sorry, Londoners.
Along with three bedrooms and two bathrooms, this house has its own terrace and gardens, plus a dedicated dressing room (the dream) and underfloor heating. Fancy.
If you split this among enough friends, you can almost stretch your budget to this place, right?
This has a private balcony, a terrace, and a private patio garden.
Inside you have a formal drawing room, a living space, a massive kitchen and breakfast room, six bedrooms, and two studies – ideal for working from home.
Fancy living in a one-bed spot with a private balcony and a swimming pool, spa, and gym downstairs?
Turns out you can… for £2,000 a month.
The kitchen and bathroom in this place are pretty lovely too.
Those are the most viewed properties on the site. Below are the places that have received the most virtual viewings, done over video through Movebubble Home Walkthroughs.