You don’t need to be an A-lister to dress like one (Picture: @gessflyy/Instagram)
Rihanna, AKA queen of style, beauty and our hearts, is known for always looking incredible. Whether she’s rocking streetwear or red carpet atire, it’s always a flawless ensemble.
But if you think that you’ve got to be a multimillionaire A-Lister to pull off her outfits, think again. Model and wardrobe stylist Gess Pugh has been recreating Rihanna’s outfits and sharing side-by-side photos on her Instagram.
Her project, #RIHCreate, was designed to inspire other people to get creative with the clothes they already had in their wardrobe. Although she started the project last year, it’s the perfect lockdown experiment – given that most of us haven’t been able to go into a clothes shop since February.
‘Y’all would be surprised to know that a lot (not all) of my Rihanna-inspired looks come from things I alrady own,’ Gess says on her Instagram.
Talking about recreating a black slip and sneakers outfit Rihanna once wore to an event, Gess reveals that she bought her version of the dress at Target some years previously.
The classic denim mini and shirt combo is a universally excellent choice (Picture: @gessflyy/Instagram)
Even red carpet style can be replicated if you’ve got the confidence (Picture: @gessflyy/Instagram)
‘Just shows that you don’t have to break the bank to dress like Rih!’
Her first post was back in September 2019 – New York Fashion Week. Gess turned up to the shows wearing a vermillion, flared-sleeve trench and snakeskin thigh-high boots, in the style of a Rih-Rih magazine cover.
‘I was extremely anxious and frustrated going into NYFW because so many of my outfit ideas couldn’t come to fruition because I couldn’t find items in my size,’ she said at the time.
‘I was upset because my straight size friends NEVER have this problem, they have access to soooo much and rarely have to worry if someone else will have their exact outfit on. But that’s a reality for plus-size women, which is so defeating when you work in fashion. Instead of giving up hope, I decided to pull my sleeves up and throw together looks I could be proud of. Rihanna is my no.1 style inspo and I was nervous that I wouldn’t look as good as her or do her outfits justice. But I’m damn proud, y’all.’
You can’t buy attitude! (Picture: @gessflyy/Instagram)
And so she should have been; Gess has gone on to prove that the size of your body and wallet shouldn’t be a barrier to style.
#RIHCreate has been about proving that fashion doesn’t have to be predictable and that plus-size women ‘can wear bold, fun, different and cool outfits like our fave celebs, fashion editors and bloggers’.
It’s been a challenge, Gess admits, because ‘there’s still a great deal plus-sized women don’t have access to, but I’m learning that there are small designers committed to giving plus-size women the luxury of choice.’
From the moment I book my flights, I check my weather app daily, working myself into an escalating spiral of panic as the weather gradually worsens (Picture: Rosie Mullender)
Earlier this week, when I picked up my phone (three seconds after waking up, as always) Facebook Memories threw reminders of the holiday I spent in Greece with my fiancé last June into my still-sleepy face.
My heart sank, knowing that, thanks to coronavirus, this year there will be no white-sand beaches, midday naps and afternoons spent sampling cocktails. Of course, there are plenty of bigger things to be worrying about right now – but many of us will be feeling a private pang over missing out on our annual break.
Flicking through the photos, wondering why 2019 Me hadn’t put more sunblock on my bright-red nose, I felt a stab of jealousy – until my disappointment morphed into a feeling I definitely wasn’t expecting: holiday JOMO. (That’s Joy Of Missing Out, if you’re not down with the kids).
I felt a sudden rush of relief at missing out on a yearly ‘treat’ that often causes me more stress and headaches than any amount of relaxation can make up for.
Like most people, I love sunny summer holidays. I love sunbathing, paddling in the sea and exploring new towns and cuisines. I even love composing my out of office message – ‘So long, suckers!’ (or something slightly more polite).
But what I really hate is organising trips away, and the accompanying acute sense of obligation to get everything just right.
It’s not enough to book a hotel that looks as bug-free as possible, slap on some fake tan, and forget the rest of the world exists in a fog of 11am mimosas and sunstroke anymore.
One year, I spent 16 hours researching a holiday in Barcelona, until I was certain I had nailed it (Picture: Rosie Mullender)
Now that we can all compare our holidays to a million others via the joy of social media, the pressure to book the perfect break can sometimes feel like a weighty responsibility.
Holiday FOMO means you don’t want to miss out altogether – but if you get your biggest expense of the year wrong, you could end up spending the rest of it wondering if you should have got the boiler repaired instead.
My fiancé is the laid-back type, happy for me to take control of holiday planning (one could argue that he disguises basic laziness as generosity of spirit, but I wouldn’t want to cast aspersions), which means it’s always me who has to find the ideal hotel in the ideal week in the ideal city in the ideal country. And all within a fish-and-chips budget, rather than a caviar one.
One year, I spent 16 hours researching a holiday in Barcelona, until I was certain I had nailed it. As soon as I announced my triumph to a friend, they told me they’d been mugged within hours of touching down at El-Prat airport – which planted a seed of doubt that was big enough that I started all over again.
The existence of the Mullies Weather Curse (a term coined by my travel journalist friend Helen, and is totally a real thing) also adds an unwelcome frisson to holiday planning.
Before choosing a destination, I scour weather charts for the best possible time to visit. Then, from the moment I book my flights, I check my weather app daily, working myself into an escalating spiral of panic as the weather gradually worsens as my holiday approaches.
It’s a relief not to have to book holidays this year (Picture: Rosie Mullender)
So far, the curse has resulted in freezing sandstorms in Dubai (hotel rep: ‘This never happens!’), two weeks of non-stop rain in Mauritius (hotel rep: ‘This never happens!’) and an actual volcano grounding all flights out of Morocco (airline rep: ‘This never happens!’).
I’m more than aware that the luxury of seeing holiday planning as a chore is certainly a very privileged situation to be in, and it’s a pretty nice problem to have. But a quick survey of my friends shows I’m not entirely alone in experiencing holiday JOMO during lockdown.
One admitted to feeling a sense of relief at not having to worry about missing out because money had become so tight this year, while another confessed that as a single 30-something she hated the fact that girls’ holidays had been growing few and far between – for once she doesn’t feel like a spare part.
Another friend who is a mum of two said that they’d found themselves under increased pressure to do the next big thing when it came to family breaks – basically whatever new roller coaster or water park is being advertised on TV – and that it was awesome to be in the position to rediscover back-to-basics fun with the kids during lockdown.
This year, those of us who find holiday planning stressful can relax. Yes, being stuck at home sucks. But everyone else is stuck too, so there’s no FOMO urging you to hit Expedia.
I’m looking forward to leaping onto our flat’s shared driveway with a fold-out camping chair and a home-made piña colada whenever the sun decides to shine, ordering takeaways instead of room service, and having Netflix to hand in the evenings.
Maybe I’ll even use the money I’ve saved to pay someone to book next year’s holiday for me.
In the coming weeks, some parts of the country will be heating up to over 30C, which is usually the kind of heat us Brits only experience when laying by the pool on holiday abroad.
For us it’s uncomfortable enough without these cooling comforts, but for dogs, it can be deadly.
That’s why it’s so important to prevent heatstroke, as well as knowing the signs so you can react fast if the worst does happen.
Signs of heatstroke in dogs
Many of the signs of heatstroke in dogs are similar to those in humans, but with a few pet-specific extras.
Look out for any of these symptoms in your dog when it’s hot out.
Heavy panting
Excessive drooling
Lethargy
Drowsiness
Lack of co-ordination
Collapsing
Vomiting
Heatstroke is normally caused by being out in the sun for too long, with body temperatures rising to the point they become unregulated.
This high body temperature can then damage the organs and be fatal.
Because dogs don’t have as many sweat glands as humans, they’re not as good t regulating their temperature, which is why they’re more prone to heatstroke.
Flat-faced dogs are particularly susceptible (Picture: Getty Images)
What to do if you think your dog has heatstroke
Heatstroke can sometimes begin with heat exhaustion, which is less severe but has similar symptoms.
Whenever the weather is hot – and particularly if your dog is in a vulnerable category – keep a close eye to ensure that you get them medical help sooner rather than later.
The RSPCA recommends that ‘If a dog is displaying any signs of heatstroke, move them to a cool, shaded area and call a vet immediately.’
You can also douse them in cool (not cold) water, allow them to drink small amounts of cold water, and generally try to ensure they’re cooling doing but not getting so cold they’re shivering.
If you see a dog in a hot car showing signs of heatstroke, you are advised to call 999 immediately.
Make sure dogs have lots of shade (Picture: Getty Images)
How to prevent heatstroke in dogs
Although dogs can be more likely to get heatstroke if they’re a flat-faced breed, have a long coat, are older, or are on certain medication, any dog can get it if they’re exposed to high temperatures.
There are two types of heatstrokes – exertional which is commonly caused by strenuous exercise in warm climes, and non-exertional, which is caused by lack of ventilation or water.
To prevent exertional heatstroke, you should limit exercise on hot days. If you do take them on a walk, make sure to bring plenty of water and stick to cooler times of day such as early mornings or late evenings.
Also try to remember, that if the ground is too hot for your hand to touch, it’ll be too hot for your pet to walk on.
In terms of non-exertional heatstroke, ventilation is key. Because dogs use panting to regulate their temperature they need good airflow at all times.
Never, ever leave your dog in a car or an unventilated room, and make sure that wherever they are they have access to air and shade.
Dogs have been known to die in hot cars in as little as fifteen minutes, so don’t even consider it when it comes to nipping to the shop quickly.
Make sure fresh, chilled water is available at all times, perhaps adding some ice cubes to keep it cool for longer.
If you have a small paddling pool or some freezable toys, these can also be beneficial.
In search of a new summer hero piece to show off on Zoom and IRL?
H&M has you covered.
The high-street brand has launched a blouse that’s for all those fancy-on-top-sweatpants-on-bottom meetings – and that you’ll wear long after lockdown ends.
Behold: the puff-sleeved blouse, in a delightful green and purple mini floral print.
It’s great because it’s easy to throw on and super flattering, but instantly makes you look like you’ve made an effort.
That’s thanks to the structure of those puffed sleeves and a high neckline, which make whatever you’re wearing on the bottom look dressed up.
Our recommendations for styling each: pair the top with a light blue pair of jeans and a strappy sandle, the dress works just as well with heels and a chunky necklace as it would with stompy boots, tights, and a leather jacket, and the skirt will look super fresh with a simple white tee.
Look how far we (or strawberries and coffee beans) have come! (Picture: Twitter)
In this seriously bleak times, nature has provided a welcome relief. Time continues its merciless move forwards and with it goes the circle of life. Seeds sprout, flowers blossom, plants fruit, we eat. That’s how it’s always been and will always be.
There’s something really relaxing about the idea that the natural world ticks on, and there’s something even better about seeing that process in action.
Twitter user @AlfieDaye shared a photo of a blackberry’s lifecycle, from tiny bud to beautiful blossom, green berry and finally juicy, fat fruit. Within just four days, the picture has been liked over one million times – suggesting that we’re all entralled to nature’s magnificence.
(Picture: Twitter/@AlfieDaye)
In response to his berry life cycle, other people have been sharing other cool photos:
Your cup of joe had a whole life before it made it into your hands
(Picture: Twitter/@egillick)
A blueberry goes through a full cold-colour transformation before it’s ready to munch
(Picture:Twitter/@shredd77)
Strawberries ripen from tiny buds
(Picture: Twitter/partyheinz1)
It’s also worth saying that Alfie has used his post’s virality to highlight something even more important and worthy than a berry’s lifespan:
Since this tweet got a little attention, lâll proceed to remind you:
– EVERY single Black Life Matters – Equality & Justice > politics – Read books, read books, read books – You have one life, so follow your heart
The lifespan of a human shouldn’t end with being suffocated or tasered to death, being incarcerated without proper represenation or be curtained by systemic racism. Just a thought.
Jim Fuller explained the technique on his Instagram (Picture: @longtalltex88)
When cooking mushrooms, the goal is for them to not come out soggy and wet.
To make this happen, we’ve normally been told that the best thing to do is keep them away from water during the cooking process, potentially adding a little salt to draw out that excess moisture.
Chef Jim Fuller went on TV recently to share a view to the contrary, and it turns out he might just be right.
On the Channel 9 network in Australia, Jim told how he always boils mushrooms first, cooking them until they’re ‘al dente’ – a term more commonly found when referring to pasta.
Clarifying his controversial position, Jim made a video on his Instagram page where he detailed the cooking method, starting off by putting his mushrooms in a large wok and adding water.
He said: ‘What’s happening there is that the water from the mushroom is being cooked out of the mushroom.’
The water sizzles as more appears to be drawn from the fungi, and Jim continues to cook this down on a high heat until the water evaporates.
At this point, he says you should taste a mushroom and see if it has an al dente texture. If you’re not quite there yet, add a little more water and do the same again to cook it off.
Once the water is all gone and your mushrooms are almost cooked, add some olive oil to the pan along with any aromatics you’re using like garlic, chopped onions, or herbs.
As you can see, the water soon evaporated away (Picture: @longtalltex88)
Fry off the outsides of the mushrooms until they’re brown and your herbs are incorporated, and they should be done to perfection.
This moist-heat cooking method, as it’s known, helps keep a velvety texture to the mushrooms and make them ideal for sauces and soups.
It should also concentrate the flavour of your mushrooms, adding to their umami taste.
The science of this method is that mushrooms are extremely porous when raw, so tend to take on whatever liquid they’re cooking in.
This method can be used on any type of mushroom (Picture @longtalltex88)
If you cook them to start with in oil or butter, they take this in and absorb it before they heat up and release the water they naturally hold (also killing off the absorbent pockets), becoming greasy.
Using a small amount of water – which creates steam – and evaporating it at a high heat along with the mushrooms’ residual water gets them to the right temperature and texture for browning.
As Jim – who owns Fable Farm Foods – says: ‘If you start [cooking mushrooms] in oil, the heat causes the water to escape and the water buffers the temperature of the oil since water boils at 100c the oil can’t reach the higher temps required to brown the surfaces.
‘The oil almost immediately replaces the water and absorbs into the mushroom. You may notice that if you start off with a few tablespoons of oil you have to keep adding as you cook.
‘If you start off in water you encourage the water to be released but the mushrooms will release only so much no matter how long you boil (or steam) them.’
Then it’s time to caramelise, and enjoy your totally non-soggy mushies.
The more you know, eh.
Do you have a brilliant hack or recipe ou’d like to share?
It’s not your fault if you’re struggling to maintain your lockdown home fitness regime (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Getting fit and staying fit can be hard. We all want to be healthy but even the best will and prep can fail us sometimes.
Whether it’s struggling to get out of bed for that 8am Instagram Live class or pulling on your trainers for an afternoon jog, the mind isn’t always willing – even if the body is. We know that we’ll never regret a workout but that doesn’t seem to make turning up any easier.
But why do we sabotage opportunities to feel better?
Well, it turns out that it’s a really natural reaction to potentially unpleasant events. A recent study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology suggests that our bail-factor is dependent on how we experience anticipation, excitement and dread.
Researchers got 171 participants to eat jelly beans that ranged in flavour from watermelon to rotten eggs. While people felt impatient and excited to eat the tasty beans, they (understandably) felt dread at the prospect of having to eat the nasty ones. Interestingly, however, they also recorded feeling unhappy at having to wait to eat them.
That led scientists to conclude that when we imagine future positive things, we enjoy the imagining but we’re also keen to just get on with it. Negative things, however, are stressful to even think about – so we’re more likely to kick them down the road. The anticipation is stressful but our impatience to get something horrible over and done with is only as strong as our fear of doing it. That means that you’ve got a 50/50 chance of doing something that you don’t really want to do. When it comes to something positive, however, we’re 100% likely to do it.
So how do you improve the odds?
It’s all about reframing the way you think about exercise. Rather than focus on the potential negatives of going for a run or workout (muscle aches, breathlessness, stitches, sweat, the faff of getting changed), we need to see exercise as the one chance in the day to do something for us. It’s one thing you can do to flood your body with endorphins, to actively improve your health, and to give yourself a break from everything else that’s going on.
You don’t have to do a workout, you get to do a workout. It’s a privilege to be able to move our bodies freely. Running isn’t something that we need to do, it’s just something we do.
It’s the same when we talk about food. Saying that you can’t eat meat implies that someone else is forcing that onto you – absolving you of any responsibility. I don’t eat meat, however, reaffirms something you’ve chosen to you yourself and that makes it more of a statement of fact.
That might apply to the way you talk about eating your five-a-day or cutting out the booze; whatever it is, language and the way we frame our thoughts is important.
Start thinking of your workout as a positive thing and you might find that you start to feel impatient about doing it – in a good way.
The pitchers you know and love (Picture: @youlikejazzzzz)
Everybody is well aware that the pubs are shut, and might be for some time to come.
While you’ve probably managed to squeeze in a few picnic proseccos and chilled tinnies, it’s not quite the same as cold pitcher of cocktail on a warm afternoon.
Although Wetherspoons undoubtedly has its faults, their pitchers are always a cheap and cheerful winner, with crowd-pleasers like ginberry fizz, blue lagoon, ultra violet, and purple rain.
One woman’s helpful TikTok tutorials have given us the recipes so we can make exact replicas of these sweet treats in our very own homes.
TikTok user youlikejazzzzz shared her recipes, so all you need is a stocked-up booze cabinet, a jug, and some ice.
You can add more ice or garnishes to each or tweak the measurements to your taste, but these have the general gist of what you need to replicate the flavour you miss.
The cocktails made by Jazzzz are employee-approved too, with one Wetherspoons worker saying: ‘As someone who works for spoons, this isn’t that bad’.
Many did say, however, that the rules at ‘Spoons require a lot more ice to bulk the whole thing up. Let’s be honest, we knew when we were getting two for £12 there’d be some sort of trickery.
Do you have a recipe you’d like to share with the world?
It’s not really about what the card looks like on the outside, but the message you write on the inside that counts. (Picture: Getty)
Father’s Day is fast approaching and if you have missed out on the last delivery slot to buy and send a card, you can still show him you care.
Father’s Day, which is this Sunday 21 June, is an opportunity to tell that father figure in your life how much you appreciate him, New dads, old dads, granddads, fathers-in-law, stepdads and more will be receiving cards and gifts tomorrow to celebrate.
The right card and message can show him how much you appreciate his advice, kindness, strictness or whatever trait that best describes his role.
Here, we give tips on inventive and handy homemade card ideas that you can make today ready for tomorrow, as well as finding the right words to say inside…
Easy handmade Father’s Day card ideas
Suit and Tie card
Is your Dad always out-and-about, doing business deals and rocking his suit and tie?
Follow this video to make him a card that recognises him for the suave, professional provider he is.
You’ll need: A3 black paper, A3 white paper, glue stick,A4 size red paper, a button and glitter foam sheet for the finishing touch.
Bear card
Perfect if you’re helping your little ones make a card for someone special, these cute, colourful cards are simple to make.
You’ll need:
Different colour card
Large pom-pom, or something similar, to match the colour of your card
Large googly eyes (or you can draw them on)
Black sharpie
Glue
A bear template (there’s one on their website to use)
A good idea for Papa Bear (Picture: thebestideasforkids.com)
Follow the steps on the website and you’ve got a card that shows a Dad in your life how beary much you care.
Find one that’s perfect for your Papa and write in your own message.
Happy Father’s Day messages for your cards
‘Becoming a dad is one thing—being a dad is many things. Thank you for all you do.’
‘Dad, you’re still the one I think of first when I have a question about something or when I just need some support and good advice. Thank you for always being there for me.’
Dads will be celebrated on Sunday 21 June this year. (Picture: Getty)
‘You taught me so many of the important things I know—including a few choice words for certain situations!’
‘Thank you for being an amazing role model and giving me someone awesome to look up to my whole life. I love you.’
If you don’t have a particularly close relationship, don’t feel like you must go overboard. Keep it sincere – thank him and acknowledge if he has given you some life lessons or made some sacrifices for you and your siblings.
Fathers Day quotes and poems
‘Any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father,’ Barack Obama
‘The strongest, toughest men all have compassion. They’re not heartless and cold. You have to be man enough to have compassion—to care about people and about your children,’ Denzel Washington
‘Being a father means you have to think fast on your feet. You must be judicious, wise, brave, tender, and willing to put on a frilly hat and sit down to a pretend tea party,’ Matthew Buckley
‘Fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man’, Frank Pittman
‘Life doesn’t come with an instruction book—that’s why we have fathers,’ H. Jackson Browne
It’s common to experience anxiety around sex (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Ever feel anxious around the prospect of having sex, even with someone you love (or just fancy a lot) and whose clothes you want to rip off?
It’s a common thing, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.
Anxiety around having sex can pop up in all sorts of ways and for all sorts of reasons.
You might have performance anxiety, whether you’re worried about coming ‘too soon’ or not at all. You could find that general anxiety stops you from getting in the moment. Perhaps you’re not totally secure in the way your body looks and the idea of stripping off fills you with nerves. Or maybe you’re feeling anxiety around having sex and have no clue why – you can just feel yourself tensing up the moment sex is on the table.
Whatever the root cause, anxiety has the ability to absolutely wreck your sex life. It can dampen – or entirely cut off – your sex drive, make it hard to enjoy sex when you do have it, and can mean you associate sex with unpleasant emotions – even with someone you adore – if you try to ‘push through’ the nerves.
Why does anxiety have such an impact on our sex lives? And how can we deal with it?
‘For women, sexual performance anxiety may show as a lack of interest in sex , having difficulty getting excited, or having difficulty reaching orgasm after ample sexual stimulation,’ explains Martina Paglia, founder of The International Psychology Clinic. ‘In men it can show in a number of ways too — such as difficulty with having an erection, holding an erection, or as a tendency to ejaculate too quickly.
‘When we feel anxious and vulnerable, the human body reacts by releasing certain hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. This surge of adrenaline and cortisol make us feel more alert, tense and makes our hearts beat faster, quickly sending blood out of our extremities and pelvic area to preserve our vital organs.
‘The issue is that when we are engaging in sexual activity we need the blood to flow in the genital area. In addition, as the body tense up, we get a tight pelvic floor, which can cause vaginismus in women – where the vaginal muscles constrict and spam making difficult for penetration to take place – and premature ejaculation in men.’
Sex and intimacy coach Camilla Constance tells us: ‘Our nervous system fundamentally affects how turned on we feel. Our bodies are primed to respond to stress in ways that keep us safe and alive. The well-known stress responses are freeze, fight and flight. We are programmed to respond to the stress and do nothing else.
‘This is why it is so difficult to get turned on (or give birth) when we are feeling stressed.
‘Feeling relaxed and safe are important for all our sex drives. So for example, when men feel anxious their erections suffer, when women feel anxious they are unable to relax and connect to the sensations which would usually arouse them.’
As we said, there are all sorts of initial reasons why anxiety around or during sex can occur, but that starting point festers and grows when we stay silent.
Think about it – if you’re feeling anxious around sex and try to ignore it and go ahead, you’re unlikely to have a great experience. Your mind will be running a constant monologue, sensations will prickle rather than feeling wonderful, and having an orgasm will be near-impossible.
That bad experience will then link sex and anxious unpleasantness in your mind, meaning that the next time sex is brought up you’ll feel anxious again. It’s an easy cycle to fall into.
Be kind to yourself (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
‘Sadly sex is one of those things we don’t talk about which means small problems get blown into much bigger ones creating a lot of anxiety along the way,’ Camilla tells us.
Often the best route for tackling anxiety around sex is getting into the root of what’s going on and seeking therapy to pick apart what else is happening.
‘Two common reasons for sexual anxiety are performance and body confidence. When you dig into either of these common anxieties you learn there is an underlying worry such as, “Am I good enough?” which is rooted in the belief, “I am not worthy”,’ Camilla explains.
‘Let’s say you have a man with performance anxiety around the size and duration of his erection meeting with a woman who has confidence issues around the shape or size of her vulva (both sadly very common). Both people are showing up feeling essentially unworthy of the pleasure, attention and connection that sex would give them.
‘They both fear that they are not good enough. The anxieties make sex difficult to relax into, making it an embarrassing, awkward or disappointing affair, which reinforces the negative belief systems and the anxiety for both parties.’
In the above example, it’s tricky to move past anxiety without challenging those intrinsic beliefs that each person isn’t good enough.
Anxiety around sex can also have been triggered by sexual abuse and assault.
In these cases it’s incredibly important to seek support to cope with the trauma rather than trying to sort out your current sex life alone.
That being said, while we recommend therapy as a way to tackle deep-seated issues (therapy is great! Do it!), there are things you can do to ease general anxiety around and during sex alone and with a partner.
The first is easing the pressure to have the best sex ever. Sounds like a small thing, but it’s important. Reframe sex not as an arduous mission with an end goal of lasting for ages or having an orgasm, but as time spent having fun, experimenting, and doing what feels good.
‘The more you are able to relax and surrender to sensation during sex, the more you will feel and experience,’ says Camolla. ‘The greater our sensitivity to our bodies and the variety of pleasurable feelings within them, the greater our enjoyment of sex as a journey, and not just an outcome, will be.
‘Anxiety prohibits us from reaching true relaxation and so denies us the orgasmic experiences we deeply crave. And the narrow model of how to “do” sex, turns what could be a relaxing and connecting experience into something that builds tension in our bodies and further fuels our anxieties about sex.
‘Anxiety about reaching the goal of climax at the right time (in the right way) prevents many of us from relaxing into the experience. The anxiety may be underpinned by “Am I good enough?” but the way we have been programmed to climax relies on us not relaxing. Over time this takes a heavy toll on our bodies and libidos.’
The second is talking with your partner. That’s a huge one.
Simply acknowledging your nerves can be a huge release, as you stop having the burden of trying to pretend everything is fine. Once you’ve explained what’s going on and made sure your partner understands your anxiety isn’t their fault, you can move on to discussing what they can do to help you relax and enjoy sex again.
‘My advice is to have this conversation at the right time – when you both feel calm,’ says Martina. ‘Try to be honest and transparent as much as you can and don’t apologise for your difficulties.
‘Instead try to explain what goes on for you, pinpointing specific triggers, any racing thoughts you spotted and how you feel in the body when you engage in sexual activity.
Talk things through (not during) (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
‘Having a honest conversation can increase intimacy and connection with one another, which in turn can help you reduce your distress.’
Camilla recommends bringing up the topic when you and your partner are able to have soothing physical contact, such as when you’re naked in bed.
We all know the power of skin to skin contact for newborn babies but we forget its power to make adults feel safe and loved,’ she explains.
‘Rather than diving straight into what you want to say, it helps to open with a line like, “Darling, could I share something with you please?” To which, as well as responding with, “Of course my love,” it’s also a good idea to ask, “What do you need from me?” This question gives the person asking to share the space to say how they want to be listened and/or responded to.’
The third key is reducing anxiety and stress in all areas of your life, because if you’re feeling rubbish all the time, that’s not going to magically be resolved whenever you fancy having sex.
Take a look at the times when you feel anxious and overwhelmed and figure out what’s triggering those unpleasant emotions. It can help to keep a diary (or just use your phone’s notes) so you can more easily track how you’re feeling and what you can change.
You might find that the cause of your stress is obvious – maybe your workload is piling up or you’re not sleeping well. Or you might find that your mind is simply prone to seemingly random bursts of anxiety, in which case it’s about using relaxation and grounding techniques in the moment and fact-checking the worst-case scenario your brain throws at you.
Camilla suggests trying deep breathing techniques on your own so you can use them as a tool when anxiety arises – around sex or at any other time.
Incorporating relaxing touch in your sex life can help, too, to soothe nerves that pop up in an intimate setting.
‘One of the most powerful things you can do on your own to increase your ability to relax is to learn to breathe consciously,’ Camilla tells us.
‘Deep breathing relaxes our bodies and can take us into trance, flow states in which we are less impacted by anxiety. It does this by taking down cortical control – all the anxious, critical voices in our heads are quietened by taking long, deep inhales and slow, relaxed out breaths all the way into our bellies or genitals.
‘Finding comfort, reassurance and safety in your own body is another good way to reduce any anxiety, including anxiety around sex.
‘Things like stroking your upper arm with gentle downward strokes, stroking your hair or face, lying on your back cupping your kidneys… these are all ways to find reassurance and comfort in your own body.’
And finally, be kind to yourself. If your anxious internal monologue tends to turn into a self-attack – ‘I’m gross’, ‘I’m a failure’, ‘why can’t I just do it?’ – take a pause to ask if you would talk like this to the person you love. Be gentle and loving with yourself to establish the best mindset for enjoyable sex.
‘Acceptance is key,’ says Camilla. ‘If you experience anxiety around sex, “going to war on yourself” is the very worst thing you can do.
‘When women decide their bodies are not young enough or thin enough or “sexy” enough it is almost impossible to relax and enjoy the sensation of sexual energy building in our bodies. The inability to relax makes sex disappointing or even painful which further fuels the sense that our bodies are not “enough” to enjoy sex.
‘Conversely, when we learn to to accept our bodies exactly as they are and treat them with love and compassion our experience of our bodies and sex is radically different. We move from “I am not worthy” to “I am good enough because I AM worthy”.’
Whether you’re an expert at snapping the perfect nude pic or you’re just starting to dip your toe into the sexy selfie puzzle, there’s one technique you need to try.
We’re talking about setting up loads of calatheas, Swiss cheese plants, and palms in a corner and nestling yourself within your mini jungle, peeking through vines and posing up leaves to cover anything you’re not keen to show (like your face, tattoos, or any other identifying details. Be safe when sexting, please).
Or just grabbing some cuttings from your houseplant with the largest leaves and holding them aloft as artsy props, hiding your nips and pants area to act as a striptease.
This trend has been hinted at all over Instagram, where all your favourite plant-loving men have posed for shirtless snaps among their best greenery:
The time has come for us to declare this as a trend that must go beyond Instagram, to become its own genre of deeply sexy photography.
The sexy plant selfie deserves to be used by all genders, it deserves to be used when sexting, it deserves to be a way to escalate a flirty conversation.
Because truly, what is sexier than a naked body AND proof that you’re able to look after a houseplant, and are thus a grown adult capable of nourishing and caring for another living thing?
Of course, posing for sexy pics with plants is not a new concept. Girls in bikinis have been peeking out from between palm leaves for decades.
But we must urge you not to save this iconic pose for beaches and holidays alone.
Am I suggesting you invest in a load of massive, leafy houseplants just to make your nudes better?
Yes, yes I am. Do it. It’s cool.
Before you do, though, some warnings.
Make sure that your houseplants have leaves fit for purpose in size, shape, and colour. If you’re trying to cover up certain bits of your bod, you don’t want to be faffing about with trailing vines that allow bits to shine right though. Big leaves are your friend.
Choose plants with interesting leaf patterns (I’m partial to a pinstripe calathea) but balance out with some more simple additions. You don’t want so much visual interest in your plant surroundings that they steal focus from the main attraction (that’s you, because you are hot).
Ensure your plants are well cared for and watered before you use them in a photo. Again, the message you want to send with a sexy plant selfie is: ‘I am hot, yes, but I can also care for plants’. Yellowing leaves and drooping stalks ruin this image. Bone-dry soil will only distract attention, leaving the recipient of your nude wondering when you last watered your plants – are these just props to you? Are you faking this whole thing?
And finally, just double check your plants don’t cause any skin irritation before you start galavanting around your indoor jungle in the buff. Don’t get too into the setting either – these are external props and plants should not be used internally.
Once you have sorted these things out, you’re ready to go. Get naked, pose up, and enjoy the knowledge that your nudes are on another level.
If you’re skint, you can still help to raise money for the cause without actually donating yourself (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Activism takes many forms but one very concrete way to make a difference is to donate money to organisations and projects committed to helping communities.
George Floyd’s murder sparked a wave of people posting about Black Lives Matter-linked fundraisers and charities, which gave people a chance to become active allies.
But what if you don’t have the cash to spare? As activists like Akala are continuously pointing out, racism wasn’t invented by the working classes but by a system that keeps those at the bottom… at the bottom. If you’re struggling to survive the system too, it makes little sense for you to wade into even deeper waters in a bid to help someone else.
If you have the cash and you can afford to donate something regularly, brilliant. If not, there are other equally worthy things you can do to improve the prospects of Black people here and abroad.
Here are a three very simple ways in which you can help to generate cash or agitate for change without actually having to spend what you don’t have:
Take a quiz to help provide famine relief in Yemen
Right now, Yemen is experiencing the world’s largest humanitarian crisis, with Save the Children estimating that 85,000 children may have died between 2015 and 2018 from severe acute malnutrition. Today, 20 million people need help securing food, according the UN; almost 10 million are considered ‘one step away from famine’.
You can help simply by taking this quiz from Freerice. Every right answer generates money to help provide food to those in need – like the Yemenis. Yesterday, 15,442,210 grains of rice were donated.
A standard bowl contains about 3,000 grains so that’s over 5,000 bowls a day – just by doing a quiz. Why not carve out 10 minutes a day and do as many quizzes as you can? Email the link to everyone you know.
Vow to sign five petitions and nominate five friends to do the same
Get signing (Picture: Petitions UK Government and Parliament)
Race to Equality has been encouraging followers to sign five petitions and to nominate five friends. By adding your name to a proposed piece of legislation, you can play an active role in actually pushing things forward to be debated and – hopefully – passed.
Here are five petitions you might like to add your name to:
Refund taxes used to pay slavery abolition debt to British descendants of slaves. Did you know that the Government only finished paying off the UK’s slavery debt in 2015? In the early 1830s, it borrowed £20 million – more than £2.4 billion in today’s money – to fund the Slavery Abolition Act of 1833. That was to compensate all those Brits who lost ‘property’ – AKA slaves. This is a proposal for the Government to refund tax contributions that helped to clear the Slavery Abolition Act debt up to 2015 to taxpayers who are descendants of slaves owned by British slave owners.
Require all police officers to take anti-racism education. It’s not only the US that has a problem with police profiling. Black people in the UK are 40 times more likely to be stopped and searched by the police by than white people. Why? At least if all members of the force had to partake in anti-racism training, we could start to run blatant prejudice out of the equation.
Make anti-racism training mandatory in all UK workplaces. If you haven’t met #SallyInHR, you’re missing out. The creation of the brilliant Kelechi Okafor, Sally personifies the everyday subtle (and not so subtle) racism that Black people face on a daily basis in the workplace. If people like her had to take anti-racism training regularly, they might understand that it’s not OK to get people’s names wrongs and other microaggressions.
Stream to donate
Revive Music are streaming 24/7 hip hop music and donating 100% of their advertising revenue to Black Lives Matter. You don’t have to donate a penny, you just sit back and enjoy some great hiphop.
Across the pond in the US, men are advised to cut back their drinking to a maximum of one drink a day (Picture:Getty Images)
If you’re reading this while sipping on your second pint of the afternoon… you might want to stop.
Over in the US, American men are being urged to reduce their alcohol intake to a maximum of one drink a day, rather than the previous recommendations of two drinks.
The Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee has said that it’s best that both men and women have just ‘up to one drink a day’.
That’s a change from previous recommendations in the US, where the recommended limit for booze is no more than two drinks a day, where one drink is defined as containing around 0.6 ounces of alcohol.
While that remains the official limit, the committee recommending a reduction is pretty influential across the pond, so their statement could have an impact on health guidelines.
The committee points to a ‘modest but meaningful increase’ in death rates when someone consumes two drinks per day compared to one a day.
Recent research suggests that even moderate drinkers are at an increased risk of cancer and early death.
It’s worth noting that current UK recommendations are in line with that one-drink-a-day rule.
Back in 2016, the UK’s alcohol guidance was updated to state that both men and women should drink no more than 14 units of alcohol a week. That’s two units a day, max, and considering that there are already around two units in a pint of beer, sticking to those rules means you’ll max out at one drink a day.
In fact, the NHS says 14 units is equivalent to just six pints of average-strength beer – so you might even have to take one day off from your daily pint. Sorry.
Average units in different types of booze
A shot of spirit, 25ml: 1 unit
Alcopop, 275ml: 1.5 units
Small glass of wine, 125ml: 1.5 units
Bottle of lager, beer, or cider, 330ml: 1.7 units
Can of lager, beer, or cider, 440ml: 2 units
Pint of lower-strength lager, beer, or cider: 2 units
Standard glass of wine, 175ml: 2.1 units
Pint of higher-strength lager, beer, or cider: 3 units
Large glass of wine (250ml): 3 units
The NHS recommends:
men and women are advised not to drink more than 14 units a week on a regular basis
spread your drinking over 3 or more days if you regularly drink as much as 14 units a week
if you want to cut down, try to have several drink-free days each week
My partner and I always thought we had plenty of time to have children, but cancer doesn’t care about your future plans (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
When I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at 28, I felt absolutely numb.
My heart was racing, and I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. My first thought was ‘people die from this, I’m too young to die’. I kept thinking ‘please don’t have spread – give me a fighting chance to beat this!’
I had always attended my smear tests. I had had abnormal results since my first smear test, so I was monitored more closely. Then last year they found that I had high-grade cervical cell changes.
I had a biopsy, plus treatment to remove them. However, two weeks later I got the results from the biopsy and I was diagnosed with cervical cancer.
I was given all the information booklets to take away with me, but couldn’t look at them the first few days because it just seemed so surreal. I couldn’t quite believe what was actually happening to me. I went straight back to work the very next day to keep my mind off things.
It was staged at 2b, which thankfully meant it could be treated, but I had to prepare myself for everything that came with it, like losing my fertility.
My partner and I always thought we had plenty of time to have children, but cancer doesn’t care about your future plans. Treatment meant that the option to have children naturally would be taken away from me.
After getting that news, I just broke down. I remember thinking how I will never experience the whole excitement and journey of pregnancy and giving birth to a child.
I felt really robbed of something so special, and totally helpless.
Before starting chemotherapy and radiotherapy I had IVF and froze my eggs to try and preserve some sort of fertility. IVF was difficult, with daily injections and appointments every few days. It constantly reminds you that the choice has been taken away from you.
I always tried to stay positive throughout my treatment (Picture: Nicole Crossan)
My chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment started in January 2020, and it lasted six weeks. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to put my body through, mentally and physically. The side effects are something you don’t expect, especially at such a young age. The tiredness affects me the most. Just walking up the stairs still feels like a marathon.
If you’re young, fit and healthy, you just think ‘I’ll be fine’. I was always active, always ate really healthily, yet it still happened to me.
Just as I finished treatment in March, the UK lockdown was announced. I was gutted. The only people I had seen since January were my family, who were taking me to appointments. When you have chemotherapy, your immune system is weaker, so you are advised to put distance between yourself and others.
I always tried to stay positive throughout my treatment. I felt that I had been given a second chance at living life and had vowed not to waste it. Concentrating on actually getting my life back and all the amazing things I planned to do got me through the worst days. So when everything was cancelled – nights out, holidays, spa days – I felt really deflated.
I feel like I’ve been in lockdown since January, and who knows when it will end. All I know is that I’ve been told to shield for the foreseeable.
One small mercy of the lockdown is that people understand a bit of what I was going through. Everyone is in the same boat as me now, and it’s not just me who has to stay home.
The lockdown has also affected my care. I was supposed to have the first review of my treatment in April, but this was cancelled, which is tough. You’re left in limbo, wondering whether or not the cancer has all gone. I’m trying not to think about it too much as it would drive me completely insane.
I know everyone has a million things on their minds right now. But cervical screening probably saved my life
I’ve had my follow-up appointments postponed, which is one thing, but there’s also about 600,000 people who have had a smear test put on hold during this crisis. When I first heard this, it deeply worried me. These tests are vital in helping prevent cervical cancer. Without them, I fear that women may be having their diagnoses postponed until the cancer is more advanced.
I understand that the government is trying to keep everyone safe, but it can be a really difficult time for women who have had appointments cancelled, especially if they have had cell changes in the past like I had. Thankfully, cervical cancer is usually a slow-growing cancer, but this won’t stop many women from feeling anxious. The mental toll of waiting is enormous.
Two women every day are diagnosed with cervical cancer – people won’t stop getting cancer because of coronavirus.
I’m really grateful that I was diagnosed when I was, and that my treatment wasn’t affected. I know that not everyone going through cancer right now will have the experience I did.
Even when smear tests are rescheduled, coronavirus may make some women wary about going to their doctors. They’re not the most popular appointments at the best of times, so I can only imagine how much extra panic a pandemic would bring to someone weighing up whether to go or not. But those tests really are life saving.
If you’ve had yours cancelled, please do go once they are back up and running again. If your GP doesn’t get in touch with a new date, chase them – you won’t be pestering.
I know everyone has a million things on their minds right now, with everything going on. But cervical screening probably saved my life.
It means my cancer was caught early, and I will have many more years to hug my friends and family once the lockdown is over… whenever that may be!
Sitting for hours a day raises your risk of dying from cancer (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)
We all know that sitting for hours on end isn’t the best thing we can do for our health.
And yet there we go again, lounging on the sofa all weekend and sitting in front of a computer for hours at work.
Need a reminder of why it’s so important to take breaks from sitting and move around? Take note of the latest study here to tell you that sitting is terrible for your health.
A new study published on Thursday suggests that too much sitting can raise your risk of cancer – and early death.
The good news, though, is that researchers found that even just replacing half an hour of sitting with some light exercise can lower your risk. Every little helps, basically, and you don’t need to have a super physically active job to boost your health – just try not too sit down for long periods.
The study asked 8,000 people to wear an accelerometer to track their movement over the course of a week between 2009 and 2013.
After five years, researchers found that the people who were the most sedentary – meaning they spent the most time sitting – were 82% more likely to have died from cancer compared to the least sedentary people, even after adjusting the results for age, sex, and disease.
But people who replaced 30 minutes of sitting with a light form of movement, such as walking, reduced their risk of cancer by 8%.
We repeat: that’s a reduction just by walking for half an hour instead of sitting, not by devising some intensive workout routine. Just having a stroll on your lunch break or asking to walk and talk rather than having a seated meeting can make a difference (although of course more exercise than this is encouraged).
Swapping 30 minutes of sitting for moderate activity, such as brisk walking, going for a cycle, dancing, and gardening, had even greater benefits, reducing cancer risk by 31%.
The study’s lead author, Dr Susan Gilchrist, said: ‘Conversations with my patients always begin with why they don’t have time to exercise. I tell them to consider standing up for 5 minutes every hour at work or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. It might not sound like a lot, but this study tells us even light activity has cancer survival benefits.
‘Our findings reinforce that it’s important to “sit less and move more”. Incorporating 30 minutes of movement into your daily life can help reduce your risk of death from cancer.’
The research is just the latest in a long line of studies encouraging us to stop sitting for hours and increase our time moving around.
Leo, his mum Vicki, and her fiance Scott (Picture: Mercury Press/JAMES SPEAKMAN)
19-year-old Leo Cliffe from Chorley, Lanc, has had issues with his health from the tender age of just six weeks old.
Leo’s devastated mum Vicky was told by doctors that her son wouldn’t make his 16th birthday as his kidneys were failing, but they didn’t give up, and he’s now completing a huge feat, walking the length of the British Isles for charity.
Leo has Williams Syndrome – a life limiting genetic disorder which can cause problems with the whole body. It’s estimated around 1 in 10,000 people have Williams Syndrome.
Although Leo has been on medication since he was a baby – and by the age of 15 he’d had over 30 different surgeries to help his various associated health issues – in 2015 doctors told Vicki there was nothing more they could do.
The then single mum set about making preparations to make Leo comfortable, including moving closer to her parents and organising a final family holiday to Florida.
Reaching out on Facebook for help with the house move Vicky reconnected with old school friend, Scott Carty, and the pair hit it off after 20 years apart, giving the mum some much needed positive respite from the turmoil she was facing.
Six months later, the family were given a glimmer of hope when new specialists told them they believed they could operate on Leo to fix his kidneys.
Despite life-threatening complications and a bout of pneumonia, Leo fought through and after a gruelling eight weeks in hospital, he was well enough to return home.
19-year-old Leo has had dozens of surgeries despite his young age (Picture: Mercury Press)
‘When they told me there was nothing more they could do for him, it was absolutely heartbreaking, I’ve never felt pain like it,’ said Vicki.
‘I’ll never forget the feeling in my chest, it was the worst day of my life.
‘He literally is a walking miracle and I thank absolutely everybody that has helped him for allowing us to still be together today, because at one point I thought he was never going to see adulthood.’
Vicki and Scott took Leo to Florida’s Give Kids the World Village – a non-profit resort that offers free breaks to children with critical illnesses – where Leo disclosed his final wish; for his mum and Scott to get married.
After proposing to Scott that they make his dreams come true, Vicky was due to be given away by Leo in April, but when the pandemic hit the nuptials were postponed to October.
Now the determined teen has decided that if he can’t walk his mum down the aisle he will walk the length of the British Isles in a bid to raise funds for the hospice that has supported him – Derian House.
Vicky said: ‘I could not be more proud of Leo, he makes me want to burst with pride.
‘He’s doing at least an hour a day on the treadmill which is for him really hard for him because he gets tired quite easily.
‘Once he decided that he was doing this to raise money for Derian House it gave him a real focus in lockdown but he needs some support to be able to do the full 1,175 miles.’
Leo is calling for people to help him cover the full distance, which his body will not let him complete on his own, and to donate towards the £5,000 he has already raised. You can donate here.
Do you know an amazing person like Leo and want to share their story?
I can barely describe the overwhelming joy I felt at seeing Dad (Picture: Graeme Bradley)
This year, Father’s Day will look very different for me and my dad. I’m sure it will for a lot of families.
Instead of spending it with my 90-year-old father John, we will be connecting across an ocean, me in Southern California, him in a care home in Harrogate.
I’ve been living in the United States since the 90s – having originally planned to go there for a few years, I decided to settle and have a family. Dad used to come and visit, and greatly enjoyed trips alongside the California Coast.
When the coronavirus pandemic first started, I was fearful but not overly concerned. Dad had been living alone since my mother passed away in 2003 so I began to call him twice a day to make sure he was OK and provide as much support as I could from afar.
My worry grew as lockdown was extended, however, particularly when I was unable to access online food shopping. I had planned to visit Dad for his 90th birthday on 23 April but the flight was cancelled. It was so difficult to be apart, especially as I hadn’t seen him since December last year.
He was becoming very isolated, unable to go out and see friends. To ensure he was well looked after, I made the decision to move him into Anchor’s The Manor House care home in Harrogate.
I was still determined to see Dad though, and managed to get one of the few flights coming into the UK on May 19 – which thankfully came with a guaranteed return.
I can barely describe the overwhelming joy I felt at setting eyes on Dad. I am eternally grateful to the care home staff that allowed me to see him. While they couldn’t allow visitors inside, relatives were still allowed to come if they maintained a safe distance outside.
That’s how Dad and I had our first visit – I was at the top of a small hill in the garden, him below behind the railings at a safe distance. It was odd to talk from afar but we made the best of it, and frankly I was just so happy I was able to see him. It was a privilege when so many families were unable to be near their loved ones.
My father was born in 1930 and lived through some pretty remarkable times (Graeme Bradley)
From then on, come rain or shine, I went to the care home every day for 20 days. It made an enormous difference at a time when the pain, anxiety and uncertainty was wearing us down, and it really lifted my dad’s spirits.
We would meet outside for around 45 minutes and I would bring photographs, framed pictures and books to remind my dad of home. After a couple of weeks, the weather turned worse, but this didn’t stop me. Dad had a room on the ground floor, so we talked through his window as he sat in his reclining chair and I huddled under an umbrella.
We never ran out of things to discuss. My father was born in 1930 and lived through some pretty remarkable times, including World War II when he was evacuated as a child from Liverpool to Shropshire. He loved telling me stories of this time, reminiscing on how different his city life had been.
He recounted tales from his time in the RAF and the Merchant Navy, visiting Singapore, Japan, China, Yemen and supporting the troops in the Korean War. He had relished being at sea surrounded by a bunch of lads he adored – I gathered that they had taken some fairly notorious trips ashore together.
We’d chat about family – especially my mum – and the virtues of village-life. And without fail we discussed when the football would be coming back – Dad is a life-long Everton fan!
We also shared our hopes for the end of lockdown: going out for Sunday lunch, making a trip to his beloved Liverpool and the prospect of Dad coming to see me in Southern California one last time.
Dad did everything he could do for me as a father (Picture: Graeme Bradley)
The most challenging part was not being able to reach out and give him a hug. Of course, it was the right thing to keep him safe, but it was still tough. I know that when I eventually do, it will be a moment I’ll remember forever.
My visits – and the pandemic in general – has transformed our relationship. I now know so much more about my father’s life, his story and the funny things that have happened to him and our family. Coronavirus has been dreadful for so many, so I am incredibly grateful for the additional time it has allowed us to have together. I’ll treasure it always.
The last day is often the most difficult part of any trip, and while I was keenly aware of how much older Dad is getting, this time saying goodbye only felt positive. I feel so much more bonded as father and son – as well as mates!
We last saw each other on 8 June. Dad did everything he could do for me as a father, and I feel like I’ve tried to do the same as a son – it is incredible to realise that.
I look forward to seeing my dad’s face when we video call him this Father’s Day. Before I left the UK, I bought him an iPad and headphones so we can enjoy a video chat rather than just a call on the phone.
He needs a bit of help from his carers to get it going, but he seems to really enjoy it. Technology has become a lifeline to so many during this time.
My kids will read him the home-made cards they have drawn for him, and we’ll be together as a family – even if we’re 6,000 miles apart.
If I could change one thing, I wish we’d be spending this day together in person. For now, however, being able to say how much he means to me over a video chat is as much as I could hope for. I’m very grateful for that.
The Big Daddy’ Giant Chocolate Chunky Nut Bar (Picture: M&S)
M&S is selling a giant chocolate treat for Father’s Day today – and it sounds just like a Snickers bar.
Obviously Snickers bars are made by Mars so they can’t copy it exactly but it’s described as ‘layers of crunchy peanuts and gooey caramel all enrobed in a thick layer of creamy milk chocolate’ so it’s pretty similar.
The The Big Daddy’ Giant Chocolate Chunky Nut Bar is based on their Peanut Butter Chunks treat bag but this version is over six times longer.
The bar costs £5 and you could easily cut it up into slices to share – or just grab it with both hands and a few bites like you would with the smaller version.
It is part of their Father’s Day range so you need to be quick as it won’t be around in stores for long and once it’s sold out, it won’t be restocked.
And of course, M&S doesn’t sell groceries online so you’ll have to visit a store.
While you’re there, you might want to check out some of their other recent launches.
Earlier this month, the supermarket tried to solve the age-old debate of whether to put jam or cream first on your scone.
Some prefer jam them cream (the Cornish way), others like cream then jam (the Devon way).
They launched a strawberry clotted cream with both mixed together to you can do it all in one go.
Described as ‘a sweet scone game changer’, it costs £2.50 for a 200g pot.
It will be much easier to write out a Father’s Day message in a card, trust us on this one. (Picture: Getty)
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads and paternal figures out there who are being celebrated today with gifts and affection for their love, support – and being just generally great.
Knowing what to write in that specially selected card for your father figure this Father’s Day can be tricky and everyone struggles to find the right words to express how they feel sometimes.
So here are some lovely Father’s Day messages and quotes to include if you need some last minute help writing that all important card before giving it later today.
Or of course, you just share them via email, text or WhatsApp.
Happy Father’s Day messages
Happy Father’s Day to the best dad in world! Thank you for being an amazing role model and always giving me someone to look up to in life.
Happy Father’s Day! I’m so proud to call you my dad and feel blessed that my children get to have such an amazing grandfather in their lives too. I love you.
You’re still the one I think of first when I have a question about something or when I just need some support and good advice. Thank you for always being there for me.
You will never go out of style. Happy Father’s day to the coolest dad ever!
Dad, I wanted to give you the most special and amazing gift ever… then I remembered you already have me! Happy Father’s Day!
Thank you for being there every day with just the love and guidance I’ve needed. This day is not about ordinary people, it’s about special people like you. Happy Father’s Day!
‘A father is the one friend upon whom we can always rely.’ – Émile Gaboriau
‘I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.’ – Umberto Eco
‘Dad. He can play like a kid, give advice like a friend, and protect like a bodyguard.’ – Unknown
Bonnie at the vets with the tin stuck to her tongue (Picture: PDSA)
Louisa Davis heard a scuffling coming from the kitchen and thought her dog Bonnie was just playing with something.
But she was shocked when she found that Bonnie had managed to get herself well and truly trapped in a can of tuna after sticking her head in the recycling bin.
The ten-year-old Staffordshire Bull terrier cross, had been given her favourite fish as a teatime treat, but when her owner threw the discarded tin in the recycling bin, Bonnie saw her chance for an extra helping when Louisa wasn’t looking.
Louisa, 45, from Nottingham said: ‘We heard some scuffling in the kitchen and the next thing we saw was a tuna can stuck to her face! It was shocking to see.
‘Her tongue was trapped in the can and I tried to remove it myself but the tin was so sharp I didn’t want to make it worse and badly cut her. I called PDSA to see if they could help, and they told me to bring her straight in.’
Louisa was worried about removing the tin herself so rushed her to the vets (Picture: PDSA)
They had to put her under anaesthetic(Picture: PDSA)
Louise took Bonnie to Nottingham PDSA Pet Hospital, where vets are running an emergency-service during lockdown.
Poor Bonnie was in pain and becoming increasingly distressed.
PDSA Vet Sarah Campbell was worried about removing it while Bonnie was awake so she was given an anaesthetic.
After the operation (Picture: PDSA)
Sarah said: ‘Once she was under the anaesthetic the can was relatively easy to remove. We were able to carefully remove it so the cut to her tongue was small and luckily she didn’t need any stitches.
‘It was a very unusual case to see, which could have become very serious if the tin had cut the tongue deeply. But thankfully we were able to remove the can safely and Bonnie was able to go home the same day to recover from her ordeal.’
Louisa added: ‘Bonnie has never done anything like this before but it’s a lesson learnt and we’ll be keeping a close eye on her to avoid something like this happening again.’
She is incredibly grateful to the PDSA for the treatment Bonnie received but wants to raise awareness as the charity is facing crisis.
PDSA’s veterinary care – which is a lifeline to so many owners across the UK – costs £60 million a year to run. But with retail shops closed and fundraising events cancelled, the charity is losing around £3 million a month in income.
