Fashion fans are cracking up at an accidental blunder from ASOS.
Shoppers were quick to notice a slight problem with one of the products on the company website.
It seems one of the shopper bags currently on sale has a typo on the front of it.
Customers have pointed out that the ‘Be Kind’ bag, which retails for £6, has a letter missing from the word ‘breathe’ – so it currently reads ‘Sleep Breath Reflect’.
What’s more, according to the ASOS website, the bag is still ‘selling fast’
People have taken to Twitter to vocalise their confusion.
One person posted: ‘Bought lots of your stuff over the years. Am I missing something re. this bag? Surely “breath” should be “breathe”, right?’
Spot the issue? (Picture: ASOS)
Someone else said: ‘Think it’s meant to be “breathe” and not “breath”. Imagine paying £6 on a canvas shopping bag that isn’t even correct.’
Another wrote: ‘@ASOS_HeretoHelp is this meant to say breath or was it supposed to say breathe?’ – to which ASOS responded.
The online retailer replied: ‘Thank you for pointing that out looks like one of our designers has had a Homer Simpson moment there. I will get this looked into.’
ASOS is, of course, referring to the iconic ‘d’oh’ moments made by the lovable character.
The classic meals are ready to freeze (Picture: M&S/Metro.co.uk)
Food boxes have been incredibly popular during lockdown – getting food and meals delivered direct can be helpful for people who are shielding or avoiding busy shops.
And M&S’s latest food box launch is likely going to be popular with people who are counting calories.
The new food box features eight meals from M&S’s Count on Us range, with every meal containing less than 400 calories.
Each meal can be frozen, so it’s great if you’re meal planning for the week, and a good option for people following a calorie-controlled diet, or anyone who wants the option of something lighter.
As lockdown restrictions ease and people head back to work, you may also find that you don’t have as much time to cook as you did before, so these pre-prepared meals could be a god-send if you’re short on time.
The COU Box is the latest to be added to M&S’s range of food boxes; from seasonal fruit and vegetable to Indian takeaway and ‘Made Without’ boxes, there are now 10 to choose from.
The meals you get are classic favourites, from fish pie, to sausages and mash and cottage pie. So you can’t really go wrong.
The meals in an M&S Count on Us Food Box
Braised steak with root vegetable crush
Chicken in mushroom and red wine sauce with cabbage and spring onion mash
Fish pie
Haddock Mornay
Chicken & mushroom pie with bacon, and topped with buttery chive mash
Sausages & colcannon mash with onion gravy, carrots and peas
Chicken mini fillets in gravy with buttery mash, carrots and peas
Cottage pie
The box costs £30, with an added cost of £4.99 for nominated delivery direct to your door.
Do you have a story to share? We want to hear from you.
Before and after her explant surgery (Picture: PA Real Life/Collect)
Breast implants, like any surgical procedure, come with a number of risks.
However, most of us would associate these risks with physical symptoms such as leaking or an uneven shape – or problems like sepsis in severe cases.
For this mum-of-four, though, her breast implants caused a number of psychological issues, which left her fearing that she had dementia.
Massage therapist Rachel Misztal-Bazzell, 37, of New York, USA, was 21 in 2004 when she first got saline implants, taking her from a small B cup to a C – not because she hated her natural look, but because she had always admired curvaceous bodies.
Happy with her appearance, it was only when, in 2013, she noticed some unsightly skin dimpling around her implants, which she suspects was partly caused by breastfeeding her two younger children, that she had them replaced with larger DD cup silicone versions.
Rachel, who lives with her four children, Amara, 10, Avery, nine, Sebastian, five, and Myra, four, and husband, Bill, 39, a lieutenant at the Sheriff’s office, was initially delighted with her first $5,000 (£3,994) saline implants and was assured by her surgeon that the $7,500 (£5,991) 650CC silicone option was safe for her.
But after they were put in, in 2015, she started breaking out in rashes.
These rashes marked the start of a long and bizarre list of symptoms, including hair loss, bloating, anxiety, depression, fatigue and brain fog, which were later attributed to breast implant illness (BII).
Rachel in 2018, when she still had her silicone implants in (Picture: PA Real Life/Collect)
‘I initially put it down to age and the stress of being a mum,’ she said. ‘But no matter what I tried, the symptoms just got worse and worse.
‘I went to lots of doctors, both general medicine and specialists, and they really wanted to help, but just didn’t know how.
‘They gave me things to treat each individual symptom, but nobody could explain why they had all suddenly started in the first place.’
As time passed, Rachel developed yet more symptoms, including a near-constant ringing in her ears, anxiety, depression, itchy eyes, swelling all over her body, congestion, brain fog and, worst of all, memory loss.
She continued: ‘Everything was so random and unconnected. No matter what I tried, nothing made a difference. I even began to cut things like gluten and dairy out of my diet, in case it was allergy-related, but I still kept bloating.
Rachel would feel so fatigued that some days, she could not get out of bed (Picture: PA Real Life/Collect)
‘At my worst, I really thought I might die. There would be days when I literally couldn’t get out of bed.’
At her lowest ebb, Rachel genuinely feared she had early-onset dementia, saying: ‘I would forget entire conversations and was constantly missing appointments.
‘Even writing notes to myself as reminders didn’t help. It was like being in a constant out-of-body experience.
‘It got to the point where I was constantly apologising to everyone in my life for missing meetings or forgetting things they had told me. It was terrifying. I even feared it was early-onset dementia.’
Doctors were unclear on what was causing these symptoms in Rachel, so she took to the internet to find BII communities for support.
No official test yet exists for the condition, which the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS), says is not a medical diagnosis, but a term coined by women who believe they have developed symptoms including joint ache, sleep disturbance, headaches, chills and neurological issues as a result of implants.
Rachel now (Picture: PA Real Life/Collect)
But studies are underway in Australia and the USA and BAAPS acknowledge that one BII Facebook group alone has more than 50,000 members – all reporting similar stories.
Rachel took the decision to have her implants removed, which cost her $6,000 (£4,794), and says that her symptoms have improved so drastically she now no longer needs any medication whatsoever.
Within five days, her brain fog began to lift and she felt much more ‘alive’ and energised.
She said: ‘For sure, there have been times when I have questioned if this has all been in my head and some people have told me they don’t believe BII is real.
‘But they have all changed their minds after seeing the difference in me since I had my silicone implants removed. It was like suddenly waking up from a coma.
‘I no longer bloat, my hair is thick again, my eyes are whiter, my skin is clear, I have more energy – the list goes on. I used to take loads of medication to combat all the symptoms, which I no longer need.’
Speaking out as model Chrissy Teigen announced on social media that she has opted to have her own implants removed, Rachel wants to raise awareness of BII – which several celebrities, including RuPaul’s Drag Race judge Michelle Visage, have shared their own experiences of.
She said: ‘It’s very clear to me that my implants were what was making me sick.
‘I’d encourage other women who have bizarre symptoms and are struggling to connect the dots to look into BII.
‘It’s been a long, painful road, but I am finally back to the old me.’
It’s 3am and Emma*, 31, is carefully racking up another two lines of cocaine – one for each nostril – on a pocket mirror.
She’s not at a club or partying with friends, but in the bathroom of her houseshare, careful not to make a sound as she snorts up the powder. Her housemates are asleep. She has work in the morning. This isn’t a rare occurrence – instead it’s a near-nightly cycle that started out with an attempt to snuff out the intrusive thoughts associated with OCD and quickly spiraled into addiction.
Emma is one of many people who have used, or continue to use, illegal drugs as an ill-fated form of self-medication for mental illness.
This is a behaviour staff in rehabilitation centres have seen time and time again. There’s a name for this combination of longterm mental illness coupling up with addiction: dual diagnosis.
According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), 45% of people who struggle with addiction also have a mental illness, with substance abuse most often co-occurring with depression, OCD, anxiety disorders, PTSD, and psychosis.
The same report found that half of those with diagnosed mental illness will also abuse drugs or alcohol.
Dual diagnosis is a bit of a snake-eating-its-tail scenario, as it can be difficult to see where addiction is causing mental illness symptoms and where mental illness can lead to addiction.
The Dual Diagnosis Good Practice Guide from the Department of Health describes four possible relationships:
A primary psychiatric illness precipitates or leads to substance misuse
Use of substances makes the mental health problem worse or alters its course
Intoxication and/or substance dependence leads to psychological symptoms
Substance misuse and/or withdrawal leads to psychiatric symptoms or illnesses
Illegal mind-altering drugs can be tempting to those whose mental illness manifests as intrusive thoughts or low mood, with immediate highs serving as a way to ‘block out’ the fears, worries, and self-hatred their brain throws their way.
‘It’s estimated that around a quarter of people who suffer with OCD, try to self-medicate their symptoms with substance abuse,’ Nuno Albuquerque, Group Treatment Lead for addiction treatment firm UKAT, tells Metro.co.uk.
‘They use substances as a coping mechanism, in order to cope with and block out the overwhelming feelings of anxiety and fear. But addiction can quickly manifest, and addiction itself is a compulsive condition, and so dual-diagnosis occurs.
‘A person suffering with depression may seek to take substances to self-medicate with the perception and belief that the drugs will make them feel better, but this in itself is a vicious cycle, as substance abuse can cause and exacerbate depressive emotions.’
Like Emma, Ron*, used cocaine to try to block out overwhelming anxious and depressed thoughts.
After doing coke for the first time in his teens, Ron spent a decade getting drunk or high each night in an attempt to outrun the reality of mental illness. Now 33, he’s able to look back on his addiction and understand how it emerged from a desire to self-medicate.
‘When I hit my mid-twenties I started a couple of ultimately unsuccessful businesses and met a girl whose appetite for cocaine matched and even outweighed mine,’ Ron says.
‘With the combination of work stress, a toxic relationship, and a partner who enabled me and who I in turn enabled was where I feel I started to actively use cocaine and alcohol to self medicate, to find oblivion.
‘This went on for three years. Drinking nightly. Taking cocaine four or five times a week. Starting at 7pm and staying up til 5am.
‘Looking back on this period it really was a dark time. My family tried to stage an intervention. I denied it all and when they left my flat I ordered 3 grams.’
At the height of his addiction, Ron was drinking seven litres of spirits and taking 15 to 20 grams of cocaine a week.
What started out as a way to bond with friends soon took up every part of Ron’s life, with the business owner using drugs and alcohol to try to ‘remove any kind of mental state to speak of’.
Emma’s story is similar.
Drugs provide an escape from the reality of life with mental illness (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
‘I did drugs for the first time in my teens with friends, but it wasn’t until my late twenties that I started regularly picking up coke on my own,’ she tells us. ‘I’ve had OCD my whole life and have been off and on medication, but when I was 26 I went through a bad breakup and my mental state took a nosedive – the medication just wasn’t working anymore.
‘In all honesty, I was suicidal and didn’t care if I lived or died. I thought there was nothing to lose by just getting in a couple of grams of coke – either it would make me feel good or I’d die, and either option sounded fine to me.’
Emma doesn’t describe herself as an addict, instead saying that she chooses to use drugs whenever she hits a low point – but acknowledges the damaging impact regularly taking cocaine is having on her life.
‘Obviously there’s the comedown, which is horrific, and when I’m far away from payday and I can’t afford to pick up I just have to sit with feeling unbelievably low,’ she explains.
‘There’s a lot of shame that piles on top of the OCD and anxiety. No one knows that I’m doing so much coke – I’ll split a bag with a friend when we’re out but no one knows I’m doing it at home and at work too.
‘I know I should go to therapy and go back on medication, but those things haven’t worked for me.’
Frustration with long waiting times for therapy, the difficulty accessing treatment, and medication that can sometimes bring more side effects than benefits, pushes those prone to addiction to rely on the highs they’ve felt previously, knowing that even though a comedown is imminent, at least they can escape their mental illness for a few hours.
Mandy*, 23, has had anxiety and depression for as long as she can remember. She started taking antidepressants on the advice of her GP, but found the medication wasn’t working for her – so created a cocktail of self-medication by smoking weed daily and regularly taking ketamine and cocaine with her friends.
‘I was living for pure escapism,’ says Mandy. ‘I took ketamine with cocaine (counter intuitive, but addiction doesn’t make sense) every day for two years.
‘I’d take it with my flatmate at the time, and we’d buy 3 grams of ket and 1 gram of coke a day. Sometimes more if we ran out. It was split pretty much 50/50 but we weren’t strangers to doing an extra line if the other left the room. I was more into the ket, she was more into the coke.
‘Ketamine felt like unlocking the part of my brain that held in unlimited creation. I was always creating something. Pretty much none of it was good, but it was happening. And the more I created, learned, found interest in – the further away my depression seemed.
‘I also did find it calming for my anxiety, but that’s because I was always in my flat. Realistically it made my anxiety much worse, but I absolutely wasn’t ready to accept that.’
Drugs such as cocaine and ketamine have a sneaky way of appearing to fix symptoms of mental illness, even when they’re in fact making your mental state so much worse.
The high of cocaine can make you feel productive, energised, and on top of the world – a stark contrast to depression, which can make getting out of bed feel impossible – while ketamine can dull a stream of anxious thoughts by tranquilising your mind entirely.
But we know that immediately after using drugs, the comedown can be pure torment, especially for someone with existing mental illness.
‘Drug use alters the chemical makeup of the brain,’ Nuno explains. ‘It releases feel-good neurotransmitters called serotonin. But what goes up, must come down, and once the effects of the drugs have worn off, a person may experience a comedown, where these chemicals fall to levels that make the user feel extremely anxious, paranoid, depressed and fatigued; feelings which a user with mental health illness may have been using drugs to get some relief from in the first place, but who will now experience them ten times worse.’
It’s easy to see how dangerous patterns of use can then occur. There’s the high, and the momentary escape from the pain of mental illness, followed by extreme, crashing lows and a return to an even darker reality – simply doing more drugs to recapture that high feels like an easy fix.
Lily*, 41, used speed and cocaine to deal with the crippling fear and shyness that generalised anxiety disorder made a part of her daily life, finding that when she was high, she was suddenly able to have conversations with people without feeling immense self-doubt. She also thought drugs helped her avoid the panic attacks that kept popping up unannounced – but these reemerged with every comedown.
‘Comedowns were simply horrific,’ she says. ‘I imagine they are for most people, but when you’re prone to panic attacks and health anxiety they are horrendous. And I could have a comedown before I even got home.
‘I’ll never forget “coming to” at a party in some stranger’s garden one Sunday morning and just bursting into tears. I cried on and off that day until teatime and the world felt black.
‘From a panic point of view, I remember calling my mum so many times to come and get me for ‘doing something stupid’ again and thinking I was having a heart attack – which was one of my health anxiety obsessions – so the post night-out palpitations terrified me.’
Over time, the effects of coexisting mental illness and addiction go beyond the usual cycle of highs, comedowns, and dependence. While drugs might have started out as a way to cope with existing mental illness, their use can prompt the worsening of symptoms and the development of new ones.
‘Chronic drug use causes long term changes to the brain, resulting in mental illness disorders,’ Nuno says. ‘People addicted to drugs are twice as likely to develop mood and anxiety disorders and vice versa. This means that in the main, the two go hand in hand, yet they do not compliment each other. In fact, quite the opposite. Mental health disorders from drug addiction include paranoia, psychosis, depression, anxiety and aggression.’
There is simply no way self-medication with the abuse of illicit drugs can be beneficial to mental health. Changing the amount you do, what drugs you take, how you take them, won’t magically erase the crushing comedowns or the longterm damage they cause.
Those who are self-medicating with drugs need to realise that while they might think they’re perfectly in control and simply doing what makes them feel good, they may be in a damaging and destructive cycle.
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co,uk)
It’s vital that anyone trying to drown out mental health issues by pouring as much cocaine, ketamine, and booze into their system they can manage makes the decision to seek treatment, pursuing therapy or rehabilitation with a professional who understands the complexity of dual diagnosis, and who will ensure the individual doesn’t feel judged or in danger of criminal punishment for the use of illegal drugs.
Lily realised recreational drugs simply weren’t working for her, and was able to stop easily. She now uses prescribed medication and talking therapies to manage her anxiety.
It took Mandy ‘ages’ to realise she had a problem with drugs, only understanding that her addiction to ketamine was out of control when her physical health dropped.
‘I remember being a year in, still absolutely convinced I wasn’t addicted,’ she says. ‘I could stop anytime, it was just a hobby, right? Then my health started really declining. Ketamine f***s your gall bladder, stomach lining and urine bladder. And after a while, you feel it.
‘Not to mention the wreck my nose was in. I was pretty much in constant agony towards the end. That’s when I really took in how bad it had become.
‘I couldn’t go outside, I didn’t leave the flat for months, aside from short trips to the doctors to deal with my paranoia, and of course to the dealer’s car.’
One day she was able to stop cold turkey, an act Mandy describes as hard, but ‘the best thing’ she’s ever done.
‘I felt so weird and new, being sober,’ she explains. ‘I’m still finding things I did in those years and revisiting them with fresh eyes. It’s like being born again. The world looks totally different.’
Once Mandy was free from drugs, she was able to face her depression head on. She’s now in therapy, and while she hasn’t found an antidepressant that works for her, she’s immensely proud of herself for learning that she can be creative and content ‘without class Bs’.
There was one moment for Ron that made it clear his drug use and depression was a problem that was out of his control. Terrified that he would drive his car off the road, he asked his girlfriend not to go to work, as her presence felt like the only thing that would stop him from carrying out suicide.
‘After making Lisa come to work with me I instantly recognised I needed to change,’ says Ron. ‘Instantly. The following morning I went to the GP. He immediately diagnosed me with severe depression and prescribed 50mg sertaline. I’ve been taking that daily since August 2019 and it has changed my life.
‘It has totally changed. My mood has lifted. I finally understand what the word happiness means. I’m hopeful. I’m excited about the future. I want to live as long as possible to enjoy my partner and future kids we have. Our lives together. It’s changed everything.
‘Cocaine is a thing of the past. I’ll have a few drinks at the weekend but it’s controlled. If I have too much to drink the following morning I feel like I did (to a much lesser extent) pre sertaline. And that’s enough to fire a warning shot to get back on track.’
After a decade of depression, drinking, and cocaine, Ron feels free. He’s in a loving relationship with the girlfriend who he credits with changing his life, and lives with her and their two cats. He’s had hours of talking therapy and has learned to recognise his those triggers and patterns of self-destruction.
‘I take my tablets daily,’ he says. ‘I go to work every day. I make sure I get out in the world and breathe deeply and appreciate how wonderful things are.
‘It’s a tough road but there is help out there.
‘Therapy for me was good but honestly I needed and still do need medication. I guess I’m still medicating but this time it’s prescribed and doesn’t rob me of all the other good things in life. Alcohol blanked my brain and switched it off and the next day I was in hell. Sertraline has done the complete opposite.
‘I feel alive again.’
How to get help for addiction and mental health issues.
You can have dinner with your bubble, in a bubble (Picture: Coppa Club/Allan Stone/Larry’s)
Pre-pandemic, a new restaurant or bar opening in London was kind of exciting, but a standard part of city life.
But with the food and drinks scene having been at a standstill throughout lockdown, people are itching to try out a new dish or innovative cocktail outside of their own homes.
With restrictions set to be lifted for the hospitality industry this weekend, we have rounded up a list of new places launching this month.
From a ramen supper club to the UK’s biggest beer garden, there is so much to explore.
Prepare yourself for the biggest beer garden in the UK (Picture: Truman Brewery)
You know Old Truman Brewery in Brick Lane, Shoreditch?
Well, there’s a new Truman Brewery opening tomorrow (4 July) and it’s ideal for social distancing.
The venue, dubbed Truman’s Social Club is located in Walthamstow and has a gigantic beer garden of 35,000 sq feet, claimed to be the largest beer garden in the UK, where you can sit and enjoy your fresh pint.
But that’s not all; in coming weeks, the brewery will also launch a café, street food market and shop, as well as an events space, offering movie screenings and more.
Larry’s isn’t due to open its doors until 31 July – but’ll be worth the wait.
It’s the latest project from the founders of Levan, also in Peckham, and Salon in Brixton, with a New York-deli spin.
Except snacks, shared plates and all-day delights in the form of latkes (potato pancake), veal schnitzel, eggs and sourdough soldiers, meatball sandwiches, nduja focaccia, salt beef beignets, devilled crab, and much more.
As for the drinks, there will be a small drinks list of a few wines, one choice of beer and some cocktails.
Grab a tipple by the Thames(Picture: Trinity Buoy Wharf)
Fancy having a cocktail by the river?
Founder of Roof East are opening a brand new joint in Trinity Buoy Wharf tomorrow (4 July) with substantial outdoor space.
Trinity Riverside Bar will offers guests spectacular views of the river Thames and the O2 arena, along with art installations and the capital’s only lighthouse in the nearby area.
The space has been designed to keep punters as safe as possible, with social distancing marking across the venue.
As for the drinks and food (think nachos, salads, hot dogs and burgers) you simply place your order through an app and have it delivered to your table.
Table service only, punters (Picture: Alex Winship/Lost Society)
Technically, Lost Society’s second brand (the first is in Battersea) was actually open for a few weeks as it officially launched at the end of February – but it was so brief that we’re making an exception to our list.
It’s a pretty standard cocktail and grub joint (which isn’t a bad thing), with doors opening tomorrow (4 July).
Pop in for lunch, Sunday roast, brunch – oh, how we have missed brunching – or just drinks. Walk-ins are welcome but you will be asked to declare that you are Covid-19 symptom-free before being allowed inside.
It’s table service only, unless you want to order a tipple to take away.
Unfortunately, the pandemic put a temporary dent in those plans, but not anymore – the igloos open tomorrow (4 July) and are perfect for people who are anxious about socialising with strangers.
Here, you can quite literally sit in a bubble with your bubble, with a maximum six people allowed inside.
You need to book in advance, with two-hour slots from 11:30am Monday to Sunday.
But note that there is a minimum spend per igloo of £240, though you can put this towards your food and drink.
The award-winning bar Swift has become a cult spot for drinks in Soho, with its 250-strong whisky selection, blues and jazz music on the weekends and old school glamour vibes.
Later this month, exact date not confirmed, the founders will open a second venue in Shoreditch.
It will be slightly different to its sister site, with an all-day bar open from 8am on weekdays and 11am on weekends.
In addition to drinks, you can also enjoy brunch or just pop in for a fancy coffee.
Six dishes, with the menu changing every six weeks (Picture: Six By Nico)
Curious about the name behind this restaurant? let us explain.
It is owned by a Scottish chef called Nico Simeone, who has venues in five cities in the UK so far – Glasgow, Edinburgh, Belfast, Manchester and Liverpool, and now, he’s finally bringing his concept to London.
Not only is this site number six, but all of the restaurants serve a six-course menu that changes every six weeks and is inspired by a location or an idea.
First up in London is Chippie, with monkfish cheek, Shetland cod and pickled mussels on the menu, along with other treats.
Remember the joy of eating a meal you didn’t cook yourself or order from a food delivery app? We can taste it already.
Supa Ya Ramen, known for its – you guessed it – ramen, is opening a permanent site in Hackney on Wednesday 8 July.
It’s a very small venue, with only 16 seats, modelled after the company’s supper club theme, but at the moment it will only be accepting so-called ‘bubble bookings’ of six to eight people at any given time.
That pint might come with a side of guilt and anxiety (Picture: Getty)
Can you feel it??
That’s the tension in the air as the UK holds its collective breath ahead of ‘Super Saturday’ – the day the hospitality industry wakes up again.
For many, this is a turning point in lockdown – after all, restaurants, cinemas, bars and pubs (especially pubs) are our social spheres, where we spend a large chunk of our lives, and we’ve missed them.
It’s then completely natural to feel excitement at the prospect of some semblance of normality returning, but unfortunately, this could also be the perfect recipe for disaster.
There you are, in your finest clothes, with your best pals, cold pint in hand or with a delicious expensive meal in front of you.
Granted you’re sat behind a screen, told not to yell or sing if you can avoid it and all the staff members are wearing masks, but even so, the day you’ve been yearning for is finally here.
Yet, you don’t feel ecstatic. In fact, it’s all a bit anti-climatic.
And suddenly, guilt and anxiety set in, and you start to question why you’re not happy.
Why is this day not as amazing as you imagined?
Why going out this weekend might not feel as great as you expect
‘It has been months since we last stepped foot in our favourite socialising spots, and there is the societal expectation that we should be celebrating and drinking with joy,’ Lee Chambers, an environmental psychologist who specialises in helping people create positive spaces, tell us.
‘This is understandable, given that humans crave the autonomy of choice, and for most people this will have been the first time they have had rules enforce upon them restricting movement, spaces and connection.
‘Being given the choice to go and entertain yourself freely again can only be a good thing – but the reality isn’t as black and white.
‘In the heat of celebration, we still have the underlying anxiety caused by the reality that COVID hasn’t just disappeared.
‘We will have to judge and adapt to how much space and contact different individuals are comfortable with. This already starts to prime us to constantly be thinking about the climate.’
Lee explains that even though we have been given our freedom back, it comes with dramatic changes that are noticeable as soon as we step inside our venue of choice.
Your mind registers ‘environmental cues’, and this could negatively affect your experience.
The feeling of guilt of going to the pub can also be compounded by another layer of guilt: “survivor’s guilt”; surviving COVID-19 when hundreds of thousands were unfortunate
Lee says: ‘Add to this, the room will be full of environmental cues, with every barrier, distance marker and sanitising station consistently reminding you of the potential danger.
‘We are not culturally conditioned to see people in masks and gloves outside of medical settings, and this again plays on our subconscious mind, inciting worry.
‘Every time we see something that isn’t normally there, or has been installed due to COVID, we are psychologically hooked back to thinking about something that has the potential to end our life.’
Another issue that might present itself is a form of survivor’s guilt.
Even if you or your social circle hasn’t been directly affected by coronavirus, we know that half a million people have died due to Covid-19 – and whether we actively think about this or not, it will likely register on a subconscious level.
Thus, you feel guilty for enjoying yourself or taking part in this kind of social activity, even though it has been approved by the government.
How to cope with anxiety and guilt over socialising in lockdown
‘After a few weeks of self-isolation, it is understandable that some people may experience anticlimactic feelings, especially with anxiety and guilt over going to the pub,’ says Dennis Relojo-Howell, founder of psychology website Psychreg, explains.
‘The feeling of guilt of going to the pub can also be compounded by another layer of guilt: “survivor’s guilt”; surviving COVID-19 when hundreds of thousands were unfortunate.
‘A starting point for you to navigate this feeling is to acknowledge it. If you feel that you are distressed by the constellation of these feelings of anxiety and guilt, you can benefit from receiving psychological care.
‘It is important to understand that anxiety, trauma, and guilt are all relative to your own experience during lockdown.’
Dennis adds that a useful way to cope with negative emotions of this kind is to talk to others who can give you a ‘nuanced perspective of the situation’.
If you are meeting up with friends and have planned a big night, it might also be useful to explain your fears to them before you head out.
This way, they won’t be upset or surprised if you decide to leave early or cancel altogether.
Additionally, prepare yourself – don’t build up the excitement too much in your head.
‘There might not be the same jubilation that we imagined as we are still expected to keep socially distant,’ says Phillip Karahassan, a psychologist and counsellor.
‘Try not to let your imagination colour your expectations of your experience.
‘Remember to keep safe and also go into this experience without the expectation of the freedom you remember before lockdown.’
Phillip, who is a member of Counselling Directory, adds that anxiety and guilt are two separate states – and it’s important to differentiate between them so that you know how best to deal with each state.
Anxiety: ‘The best way to control anxiety is to know what makes you anxious and plan how to negotiate the anxiety to keep you empowered and safe.
‘Try and stay in control of your surroundings , have a think about the boundaries of yourself around you and when is the right time to leave.’
Guilt: ‘Guilt on the other hand may be present thinking about others who are stuck at home and also the thought of acting in a potentially irresponsible way.
‘Just like anxiety, know what your boundaries are, respect the social distancing measures and know when enough is enough, so that the guilt of going out doesn’t taint your experience.’
It is also be useful to be informed and read up on new rules when it comes to drinking or dining out- and you’re in luck, because we have put together a comprehensive guide for you.
If this weekend isn’t you wanted it to be, that’s okay. Equally, if you decide not to go out, that’s also okay.
Allow yourself the opportunity to tap out. Having drinks at home or over Zoom can be fun, too.
One mum from Lancashire has been using the extra time at home to make breast milk soap for her entire family.
Ashley White made her first batch of breast milk soap after she gave birth to her daughter Mia, back in April.
The idea came about as the mum-of-two was looking for alternative ways to make the most of her milk, without it going to waste.
Ashley said: ‘I wanted to look into other ways of using my milk. My milk coming in was a huge relief so I expressed quite a bit and built up a stash in the freezer.
‘I didn’t want my milk going to waste as it felt like a real achievement.’
The finished product (Picture: Ashley White/SWNS.COM)
Ashley’s daughters Mylee and baby Mia (Picture: Ashley White/SWNS.COM)
Now her whole family use the soap and love the way it makes their skin feel. It’s even helped to clear up 10-year-old Mylee’s eczema.
Ashley adds: ‘I had heard how breast milk products are great for eczema, which my eldest daughter Mylee suffers with, so I looked up how to make the soap so she could use it.
‘The breast milk soap is meant to help with rashes, eczema, acne and sunburn to name a few – it’s quite awesome really.
‘My husband Paul and I only use the soaps on our hands for now whilst we wash Mylee and Mia’s entire bodies with it, although it won’t be long before we are all using it fully.’
Mylee’s eczema before (Picture: Ashley White / SWNS.COM)
After using the soap (Picture: Ashley White/SWNS.COM)
To make the unique soap, Ashley melts glycerine in the microwave before pouring in half a pint of breast milk and a few drops of essential oils.
She also adds dried lavender to the silicone moulds and pours the liquid on top.
Ashley adds lavender and essential oils (Picture: Ashley White / SWNS.COM)
The breast milk soap in the fridge (Picture: Ashley White / SWNS.COM)
After sharing photos of her soap online, Ashley has been inundated with requests from people wanting to purchase some for themselves.
In fact, the interest has been so high, she’s now considering starting her own business – with plans to branch out to lotion, jelly and milk bath.
Ashley adds: ‘I’m definitely considering selling them – I’ve had quite a bit of interest off of people wanting to buy them.
‘I am thinking about selling the soap as the same price as other handmade soaps are selling for which is about £3 to £4 a bar.
‘I’m 99 per cent sure I will sell the soaps, but haven’t thought about a business name or anything like that just yet.
‘I haven’t had any negative backlash for making the soap out of my breast milk – but I’m sure I will.’
Rubble had a long, happy life (Picture: Michele Heritage/SWNS)
The world’s oldest cat has passed away at 31 years old.
Rubble, a fluffy Maine Coon cat, was considered to be the oldest feline in the world when he turned 31 last May.
Owner Michele Heritage got Rubble as a kitten on her 20th birthday and the pair had been inseparable ever since.
The 52-year-old from Exeter put Rubble’s long life down to the fact that she never had children – so Michele heavily pampered her four-legged friend instead.
Michele said: ‘I have always treated him like a child. I don’t have any children and had another cat called Meg, who passed at the age of 25.
‘If you care about something, no matter what it is, it does last.’
With owner Michele (Picture: Heavitree City Vet/SWNS.com)
Rubble as a kitten (Picture: Michele Heritage / SWNS)
So sweet (Picture: Michele Heritage / SWNS)
According to Michele, Rubble appeared to deteriorate quite quickly towards the end of his life and even stopped eating his food.
She said: ‘He grew old very quickly towards the end, I said to my husband at Christmas that I think it would be last we spend with Rubble.
‘He became very thin. I went to work as usual and when I got home my husband said Rubble had gone over the road as he did every day and never came back. So we believe he went off to die as cats do.
‘He was a creature of habit, had his favourite places to sleep and liked his food so when that stopped happening, we knew.’
Rubble would have been the human equivalent of 150 years old.
Cuddles (Picture: Heavitree City Vet / SWNS.com)
So handsome (Picture: Michele Heritage/SWNS)
The oldest cat ever to be recorded was a 38-year-old kitty called Creme Puff, from Texas, who was born on 3 August 1967 and lived until 6 August 2005.
But Michelle said the title was never something she hoped for.
She adds: ‘We never went down the route of Guinness Book of Records with Rubble. I didn’t want to do that given his age.
In an effort to make people smile and bring some creative sparkle to a central hub in the capital, King’s Cross has commissioned a series of art installations by Andy Leek.
The artist is best known of his Notes To Strangers project, which consists of hand-written notes that he puts up across London to bring unexpected joy to passers-by or give them something interesting to contemplate, like ‘kindness is sexy’ and ‘effortless takes effort’
Or confidence-boosting messages like ‘You are more f**able than you think’.
Similarly, Andy’s three-month residency in King’s Cross, which includes the entire estate, will revolve around providing ‘silver linings in these difficult times’.
‘As my residency unfolds, I plan to install artwork throughout the estate for people to stumble upon, hopefully creating some serendipitous moments of delight,’ he said.
‘I will work closely with the local community from my on-site studio to create something meaningful and representative of their experience over the last few months.
‘It’s my first time collaborating with a destination, King’s Cross is already well-loved and full of wonderful nooks and crannies, beautiful architecture and existing artworks that I can’t wait to add to it.’
They are made with day-glow which shines bright at night (Picture: David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for ANM Comms)
First up is This Much, which was inspired the required social distancing over the past few months, and consists of 28 out-stretched arms with messages of hope and love.
Each installation has either been decorated in day-glow, a UV paint that glows in the dark or metallic glitter.
The pièce de résistance however, is the 40-metre installation (split into multiple pieces of two metres, to represent the distance we had to keep from each other) made from laser-cut mirrored stainless steel and placed over Battle Bridge Place.
Andy has also created a special laser-cut stainless steel version (Picture: David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for ANM Comms)
Andy wants the message to be one of ‘hope, positivity and humour’ (Picture: John Sturrock)
Andy said: ‘I’m looking to find silver linings in these difficult times.
‘For all these months it’s been two metres of fear, loneliness and danger.
‘I’m going to flip that into two metres of hope, positivity and humour with This Much.
‘We all stayed apart to look after each other, to keep not only our loved ones safe but strangers we’ve never met.
‘It’s so easy to take things for granted until we lose them, so it’s nice to hold on to that feeling of how much me missed loved ones as things being to return to some normality.’
To be fair, they have (Picture: John Sturrock)
The installation comes in a range of colours (Picture: by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for ANM Comms)
‘We are thrilled that Andy accepted our invitation to become our artist in residence over the summer,’ said Anthea Harries, head of assets King’s Cross.
‘We’ve given him free rein of the King’s Cross estate – all 67 acres of it – and his artwork is going to welcome people back to the neighbourhood and bring a bit of joy to London as we come out of lockdown.
‘We love Andy’s approach, and are excited to see how he is going to capture and respond to this moment in our history.’
Swing by King’s Cross before September for a much-needed hit of joy.
A new study has revealed that men are more likely to be considered ‘brilliant’, compared to women.
Ehrm.
Before you even go there, this is not due to men actually being more brilliant than women, but rather a result of implicit bias.
Let us explain.
The study, published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, had 3,000 participants from 78 countries, all of whom were asked to take part in five experiments.
One of these included a survey, where they were asked which gender they associate with ‘high level intellectual ability’ (brilliance).
While the participants didn’t directly choose men, 70-75% of those surveyed were found to have implicit bias that leant towards males being seen as brilliant more often than women.
To make matters worse, the researchers who conducted the study, and who regularly investigate why women are underrepresented in some industries, believe this could affect gender equality.
‘If people associate these traits that they see as essential for success with men more than women, then potentially, they’re less likely to give women opportunities to succeed in these fields,’ Andrei Cimpian, associate professor in New York University’s psychology department, told Insider.
Interestingly, when the participants were asked the question with phrasing that directly questioned if they associate men with brilliance more than women, many said no.
But people have prejudices that they might not acknowledge when asked a direct question, so Andrei and his team of fellow researchers decided to use what is known as an Implicit Association Test.
It consisted of various images, such as that of a woman or man, which participants had to slot into various categories.
In order for it to be an instinctual choice, they were given very little time to decide.
And thus, with implicit bias revealed how people really felt, with men coming out on top in reference to brilliance.
‘The fact that these are implicit associations that people aren’t able or willing to report on suggests that it may be a particularly pernicious obstacle to women,” added Andrei.
‘People might not even be aware of the fact that they hold these associations, so they might give more opportunities to men and evaluate male performance more positively without even realising what they are doing.’
Are you a Fruit and Nut fan or a caramel connoisseur when it comes to Dairy Milk chocolate?
There might just be a new contender on the block for your eating pleasure, as Cadbury have announced the three finalists for their Inventor 2020 competition.
Earlier in the year, chocolate lovers were asked to submit their ideas for new flavours of Dairy Milk, and three of the top ones have now been announced.
These three flavours will go on sale in Tesco as of Wednesday Wednesday 8 July before launching in participating supermarkets nationwide on 22 July.
Members of the public will then be able to vote for their favourite, which will become a permanent fixture on the shelves.
Let’s see the new Dairy Milk bars on offer, shall we?
Gillian’s Cadbury Dairy Milk Coconutty
Perhaps a controversial choice? (Picture: Cadbury)
Gillian is 36, and is a Liverpool FC fan from Northern Ireland.
Her bar is inspired by her children’s love of fresh coconut, and includes milk chocolate with coconut crumble, studded with smooth white crisp pearls.
Gillian said ‘My children and I are big fans of white chocolate and coconut. After realising there aren’t that many white chocolate options in chocolate bars, the combination of coconut and white chocolate was formed to appeal to fresh coconut lovers who are dreaming of a tropical paradise this summer!’
Shannon’sCadbury Dairy Milk Crunchy Honeycomb
Nuts are added to this bar for extra crunch (Picture: Cadbury)
Shannon, 19-year-old student from Nottingham, combined her favourite flavours for this crunchy bar.
Shannon’s bar combines milk chocolate, golden crunchy honeycomb pieces with tasty caramel flavoured fudge, and chopped hazelnuts to add an even more crunch.
Taylor’s Cadbury Dairy Milk Out of the Blueberry
Send bloobs (Picture: Cadbury)
Taylor, 24-year-old mother of two from Leeds, says she createdOut of the Bluberry because of her son’s love and obsession for blueberries.
Taylor’s bar consists of milk chocolate with juicy blueberry flavoured nuggets and white crisp pearls.
Taylor said ‘My eldest son is completely obsessed with blueberries and white chocolate – his love of the two inspired me to create the Out of the Blueberry bar. The blend of sweet white chocolate and mouth-watering blueberries complement the milk chocolate to make a yummy snack for all to enjoy.’
Try them out from next week, and cast your vote for your favourite on www.cadburyinventor.com until 6 September.
Each will cost from £1 (at Tesco on promotion, £1.49 RRP) for a 105g bar.
The winner will be crowned the nation’s favourite and become the latest addition to the iconic Cadbury Dairy Milk range for good, so the stakes are high.
Nanette Kilmer, is 4ft 3, while her husband Richard is 6ft 2.
Despite being 37-years-old, it’s not uncommon for people to assume Nanette is Richard’s daughter.
Because of Nanette being from the Philippines, the couple also have to deal with ignorant judgements about her being a ‘mail order bride’.
Despite their two-foot height gap and the stereotypes they’re tarred with, they’ve forged a wonderful life together, living in upstate New York with their daughter. But that doesn’t mean they don’t wish people would keep their hurtful comments to themselves.
Richard told Truly: ‘We’ve had people take pictures, we’ve had people yell across the street, we’ve had people who actually approach us, but anybody who ever meets Nanette, instantly forgets that she’s as small as she is because she’s so much larger in life.’
Nanette added: ‘Basically, it’s people whose opinions don’t matter that have the bad opinion. People that matter to us, don’t have any opinions of us.’
The couple met online while Richard was working as a military contractor in Afghanistan.
‘I had been in Afghanistan for over a year and not a lot of happy times over there,’ said Richard.
‘So when I started talking to her and she made me laugh within the first five minutes, that was a sign.’
For Nanette, the connection with Richard gave her confidence in an area of her life she’d previously struggled in.
She said: ‘When I was a young adult, I would be confident in some things, I had my degree and I had a job, but there was a segment in my life that I had no confidence in, like, dating.
‘And guys that I would like I would say, “If only you were maybe five foot taller, I would date you,” and that affected me.’
That was back in February 2007, and by Valentine’s Day that same year Richard had made plans to travel to the Phillippines to visit Nanette.
Richard sent flowers to Nanette every week before their in-person meeting in April. By this point they’d already told each other they loved each other, but Nanette hadn’t shared her exact height to Richard.
Richard said: ‘I knew that she was shorter. But I didn’t realise how petite she was. When I got off the plane and walked out and saw the crowd of people, I wasn’t looking down.
‘I was looking through the middle of the crowd, and then when I saw her, I looked down. And then I realized, “Oh, wow, she is a lot smaller,” but that didn’t matter. We’d already fallen in love online.’
Things went from strength to strength (despite being long-distance for three years) and later got married at Lake Erie, followed by a celebration in the Phillippines.
Richard’s friend made a set of stairs, painted white, that Nanette stood on for the vows and wedding photos.
Nanette said: ‘I wanted to be level in the eye, because it would be difficult keeping my head high and him looking down.
‘It wasn’t for the looks, it was more for just to be in that moment, to be comfortable in the moment. But it worked out, now we tease my daughter that at the wedding, I was really tall.’
They moved to live in the Philippines for two years before eventually moving to the US so Richard could work, and that’s where the false assumptions truly started.
Nanette said: ‘In the US, I get offended when people think that I’m a mail order bride because I’m not – and it’s outlawed in the Philippines…
‘And in the US, it was like, “Whoa, where are you from? Are you a mail order bride?” Things like that, and it was, to me it was offensive.’
Five years ago the couple welcomed their daughter to the family – and now have to deal with members of the public assuming Richard has two daughters.
He said: ‘We’ve had people think that our daughter and my wife were sisters.’
Aware of her parents’ height difference, their daughter hopes to be tall like her dad.
Nanette adds: ‘Our daughter knows that mama is tiny, and dad is big. She wants to be big like daddy and she doesn’t want to be short like mama.’
But with or without the height difference Richard and Nanette believe they are well suited because of their differences.
Richard said: ‘We complement each other in many different ways. And it’s way beyond our height difference.’
Diners take their places in family bubbles to test the UK’s only purpose-built pop-up socially distanced restaurant, split into separate dining pods with serving hatches under one marquee, the Anti Social Club (Picture: PA)
Could this be the future of dining out?
The UK’s first specially built social distanced restaurant, at the St Moritz Hotel & Spa in Cornwall, will open its doors this Saturday, 4 July.*
*Yep, that’s the day everyone’s calling ‘Super Saturday’, as loads of pubs and restaurants are set to reopen as lockdown measures ease.
The restaurant, called The Anti-Social Club, has 16 separate rooms for each dining party, allowing guests to remain in their own social bubble and stay separated from other guests and staff.
Staff deliver food to 16 rooms through hatches (Picture: PA)
The private dining rooms allow guests to remain in their social bubbles (Picture: PA)
Food is served through hatches in each room by staff wearing face masks.
Up to 96 guests are able to dine in at the social distanced spot and enjoy a new way of eating out in the era of Covid-19.
From Saturday, guests at the hotel and those who fancy booking in only at the restaurant will be able to head to The Anti-Social Club for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Reservation times will be staggered so diners won’t have to walk past others or wait when they arrive.
Servers will all wear masks (Picture: PA )
Hugh Ridgway, owner of the St Moritz Hotel, said their usual restaurant would only have been able to operate at 30% occupancy with the two-metre rule in place so decided to build the socially distanced pop-up venue.
‘Our self-catering accommodations are full for July and August, which we would expect,’ he said.
‘People have been waiting and waiting to stay in hotels and now our phones are very busy, our online bookings are very busy.
‘We are very lucky here in St Moritz that our architecture means all of our hotel rooms can be occupied in a safe and socially distanced manner.
They seem to be having fun, no? (Picture: PA)
‘The only problem is that we need to feed our guests. We can’t do that if we are restricting our restaurant to 30% or 60% – if at one-metre distance – occupancy.
‘That’s why we came up with the idea of socially distanced dining and built this marquee with 16 individual dining rooms.’
As well as the dedicated restaurant, guests can eat meals in striped guest huts, where staff will deliver the food before diners arrive to avoid any contact.
The device fits on to any hairdryer (Picture: Jessica Lindsay/Metro.co.uk)
If you’re on any form of social media, you’ll be familiar with adverts from Wish and DHGate and YesStyle and many other companies.
These ads typically show carousels of odd and intriguing products that basically beg you to click on them – at least to find out what they are.
They’re basically the perfect hunting ground for Is It Worth the Faff?, our series (which was on hiatus for a while, but now back with a bang) where we test out viral beauty products and treatments.
The idea is to save you some cash by trying them out, giving you honest answers on the effort-and-price-output versus beautification-input you’ll get.
This week I tried out the magic wind tornado air curler.
Peep miss Jolie alongside the curl attachments (Picture: Jessica Lindsay)
What is a magic wind tornado air curler?
This product has a number of names depending on where you buy it, but we’ve handily included pretty much every keyword used on these websites.
The particular one I bought was called ‘Magic tornado blowing curly hair artifact hair dryer hood does not hurt hair blowing big volume magic hair curler curling device’. Brevity was not the seller’s strong suit, but perhaps hair styler design could be.
The product itself is a plastic tube with an offshoot that attaches to your hairdryer.
The rubber around the attachment part means it can fit any standard hairdryer securely, and it also has a small knob on the top so you can adjust the airflow depending on which direction you want your curl.
The idea is that you can double up on curling and drying without your arm going numb from holding a barrel brush at an odd angle.
You place your hair into the tube vertically, then let the air from the dryer twirl your hair around. At least in theory that’s the plan.
It also comes with two different attachments that go inside the main tube to change the tightness of the curl – and a fetching picture of Angelina Jolie on the box (I assume for inspo, as I would very much like to look like her).
This photo looks like I’d been crying. In reality, I’d put my makeup on then nipped outside in a torrential downpour before starting and forgot to fix it. Sorry. (Picture: Jessica Lindsay)
Faff involved
Price-wise you can’t fault this device, at just £5.70 as well as £5 postage and packaging. It did take a whopping twelve weeks to arrive, but it’s a pandemic and I can understand why hair gadgets aren’t on the priority list for posties.
Then we get to the process itself.
Putting it together is extremely easy even without instructions, and I sectioned my hair and used heat protector as normal.
The curler rejected my hair every time, leaving a tangled mess (Picture: Jessica Lindsay)
When I went to put my hair into the tube, though, it just blew straight out.
I tried different angles and settings on my dryer but most of the time was left with a knotted twist that flopped back to straight as soon as I picked the tangles out.
That said, the method is straightforward and low-effort. Very little faff involved.
The results
Given the whole point of the curler is to save time and reduce heat, it felt like I needed to keep my hair in there for a long time exposed to direct heat.
If it had provided me with the bouncy curls I’d have been happy enough, but the end result was a bit frizzy with no defined curls.
The faintest whisper of a curl you’ve ever seen (Picture: Jessica Lindsay)
As mentioned earlier I tried switching the settings and changing the size of the strands I was placing in, but the hair just didn’t come out curly.
Perhaps it would have worked better if my hair was longer (it’s just below shoulder-length) but there wasn’t so much as a beachy wave on my head.
Because my hair also kept getting tangled, I can’t imagine it was any good for its condition.
Siri, show me disappointment (Picture: Jessica Lindsay)
Is the magic wind tornado air curler worth the faff?
Sadly not. Although the price and method take no time at all, there’s still no point if you see no result.
The worst thing about lockdown is that we have been cooped up for far too long – and a lack of movement coupled with too much time indoors is not a good recipe for our well-being.
Many of us have been doing what we can to stay active, running or working out in the living room – but without our gyms and regular instructors, motivation and consistency have proved major barriers.
But with lockdown restrictions finally easing, we have an opportunity to embrace the outdoors and enjoy the outside world beyond our back gardens – it could be just what we need to reset this stressful, confusing year.
And the benefits of exercising outdoors can’t be overstated.
A 2018 study by the University of East Anglia found that exposure to green space has ‘significant and wide-ranging health benefits’, including reduced risks of type II diabetes, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease – and loads of mental health benefits.
‘Spending time in nature certainly makes us feel healthier, but until now the impact on our long-term wellbeing hasn’t been fully understood,’ said study author Caoimhe Twohig-Bennett.
‘One of the really interesting things we found is that exposure to green space significantly reduces people’s levels of salivary cortisol — a physiological marker of stress,.
‘This is really important because in the UK, 11.7 million working days are lost annually due to stress, depression or anxiety.’
How to join Metro.co.uk Lifeline's 2020 Challenge
Register your interest by completing the details in the form provided
A member of Metro.co.uk's team will be in touch with you regarding your application
If you are accepted on the trek, you will be asked to pay a £35 deposit
Once accepted, all we ask is for you to pledge to raise £250 minimum for The Hygiene Bank. Good luck!
Jo Moseley is a fitness blogger who is passionate about fitness and physical activity for people over 50.
She loves exercising outdoors and says it gives her so much more than she could ever get from working out in the gym or in her front room.
‘Being in the natural environment – hills or near water – is a place of freedom, adventure and mindfulness, living in the moment,’ Jo tells Metro.co.uk.
‘The water really calms my anxiety – especially sea swimming. I can’t focus on anything else!
‘But simply a walk or hike puts lots of things into perspective. It reminds me the world is going on outside of my own worries. The trees, birds, the waves… life goes on beyond me. Like a moving meditation.
‘No judgement, no comparison, just me being free and braver’ (Picture: Jo Moseley)
‘I think exercising outdoors is a bit more freeing too. I love that I come home looking a bit bedraggled with salty hair or dirt under my fingernails.
‘There’s no mirrors like in a gym, you just do your thing and feel good and feel very much in the moment. More alive I think.
‘No judgement, no comparison, just me being free and braver.’
Jo loves the water, and says the minute she puts her wetsuit on she gets a tingle of anticipation, she knows she’s going to have fun. .
‘When I was paddleboarding coast to coast, I sometimes caught sight of myself at the end of the day and thought – “that’s me, the essence of me”.
‘I had given it everything I had and felt emboldened. It was like being a little girl again, even though I’m now 55.
‘I sometimes do gym workouts on the beach and that’s fun, using a rock as a kettlebell, or I run up little hills in the woods and dance at the top. I find it joyful and the fresh air clears my head.’
Aneela McKenna is a keen cyclist and guide at Go Where Scotland. She says outdoor activity is a vital part of her life.
‘I’m not sure how I would function if I didn’t get my outdoor fix everyday,’ Aneela tells Metro.co.uk.
‘It’s my way of recharging the batteries, especially when I’ve been working long hours and need to get away from looking at a screen all day.’
Aneela says she doesn’t have to do intense workouts to feels the benefits – even a simple ride can have a hugely positive effect.
‘It could be an easy cycle path, a forest path, or I might climb some hills depending on how much time and energy I have.
‘As long as I get out, even it’s only for 30 minutes, I know it’s good for my mental health, something I need to keep in check everyday.
‘Being outdoors takes away the stress of everyday life’ (Picture: Aneela McKenna)
‘It’s like my daily spoonful of medicine, being outdoors takes away the stress of everyday life.
‘There’s something about being a tiny dot in a wide open space that helps put everything into perspective again. It stops me stressing about trivial matters.’
The common theme here is escapism. Both Jo and Aneela say that being in the great outdoors is their way of taking a break from the stresses of life – and we all need that at the moment.
If you like the sound of this, and fancy a new challenge to mark the end of lockdown, why not sign up for our London 10 Peak Challenge, part of Metro.co.uk’s new charity fundraising campaign – Metro.co.uk Lifeline.
The sponsored 26-mile hike across London will be in support of The Hygiene Bank; an amazing charity that looks after families in desperate need of every day essentials.
So, not only will it offer the opportunity to really push yourself, but also take crucial steps in supporting people affected by poverty along the way.
The benefits of outdoor exercise
Jo is living prove that exercising outdoors can be invigorating – not just for your body but for your mind as well.
Here are some of the reasons why being active in nature can make you feel so amazing:
Reduces stress
Being physically active outdoors has been shown to reduce anger and depression and improve mood – more than exercising indoors.
Not only do you get those delicious endorphins from moving your body, you also get exposure to vitamin D from being out in the sun, which is important for mood regulation.
It’s free
The best things in life are free – and that is certainly the case when it comes to outdoor exercising.
The UK is full of beautiful nature spots, from rolling hills to mountain ranges, stunning lakes to national parks.
And if you can’t to any of those – look a little closer to home. Any areas of greenery near your house will be perfect. You don’t need much space for a quick HIIT session or some basic yoga.
Improves self-esteem
As little as five minutes of outdoor exercise can improve your self-esteem – which is really important given that almost 40% of women are put of from exercising because of confidence issues and a fear of judgement.
Anywhere outside will have this positive impact, but interestingly, being near greenery or water enhances this effect.
Improves your sleep
Exercising helps you to get a better night’s sleep, but exercising outdoors can boost that effect because fresh air can help to improve the quality of your sleep.
Tips to get into exercising outdoors
The hardest thing can be getting out the door
But once you are out in the fresh air, and doing the thing you love, whether it’s walking, running or cycling, you will have completely forgotten all about that first hurdle and you will tell yourself, ‘well that wasn’t so bad!’
I promise you, it gets easier every time. I keep my kit handy in one place so that takes away some of the stress of getting out.
Be prepared for the weather
In the UK we can experience all four seasons in a day and if you don’t have the right kit, getting caught in bad weather conditions might dampen the spirits. Rain can be fun, believe me!
Check the weather forecast and think about what kit you will need and with that the weather won’t let you down.
Think about the environment
Since we’ve come out of lockdown we’ve seen so much litter scattered over the countryside. I’m afraid there are no bins along the way.
My advice would be not carry no more than you need and take everything you brought in back out with you. You will be doing the planet a favour.
This year sees the launch of our exciting new charity campaign: Metro.co.uk Lifeline. Our aim is simple - to raise as much money as possible for charity with YOUR help.
This year we have chosen to support The Hygiene Bank, a vital charity that helps distribute hygiene products for those most in need.
For more information about this year's hike, which is organised by Charity Challenge and taking place on Saturday 19 September, 2020, click here.
Please note all applications need to be in by July 6, 2020.
Metro.co.uk Lifeline
This year sees the launch of our exciting new charity campaign: Metro.co.uk Lifeline. Our aim is simple - to raise as much money as possible for charity with YOUR help.
This year we have chosen to support The Hygiene Bank, a vital charity that helps distribute hygiene products for those most in need.
For more information about this year's hike, which is organised by Charity Challenge and taking place on Saturday 19 September, 2020, click here.
Please note all applications need to be in by July 6, 2020.
The dramatic moment that the statue of Edward Colston was pulled from its plinth in Bristol city centre, June 7 2020, has sparked a global debate (Picture: Harry Pugsley / SWNS /Metro.co.uk )
After Edward Colston’s statue toppled from its plinth on Sunday 7 June, a debate ensued across the globe: Should we tear down reminders of oppression on our streets or should they be used in another setting to educate future generations?
Statues are a prominent part of our landscape that until now have largely stood unnoticed. For most of us, they are the backdrop to our daily lives that we rarely give a second thought to.
As protests for Black Lives Matter continue, the statues on our streets are under scrutiny. The sculptors who made the statues depicting the likes of Edward Colston, Robert Milligan and Cecil Rhodes are all dead, so we cannot ask them whether they knew about or understood the atrocities committed by the men they portrayed.
But what do the sculptors of today think about sculpting real figures and the responsibility they hold as artists?
Hazel Reeves, a sculptor from Brighton, has been commissioned for public statues across several cities.
Talking about the kind of responsibility sculptors hold, she tells us: ‘It is all about choreographing stories. As a figurative sculptor, my aim is to get a likeness, but also go beyond this to capture their essence, their ideas, and their drive.
Hazel Reeves (left) and Helen Pankhurst at the 2018 unveiling of the Emmeline Pankhurst statue, Our Emmeline, Hazel created (Picture: Anthony Devlin/Getty Images)
‘Everyone is complex, their legacy is complex, so it would be unlikely I would endorse all the views of a subject. For me, I have to be sufficiently comfortable with the legacy of a historical figure I will represent.’
When figures with dubious histories are towering over us there’s an innate feeling among many that they’re simply wrong. But this debate is far from simple.
Reeves acknowledges this, saying: ‘If consultations and debates are used as a way of delaying decisions or maintaining the status quo, more direct action is inevitable.
‘While not condoning the destruction of a sculpture, I must say that I viscerally felt the symbolic power of the Colston statue being tossed into the docks as part of the Black Lives Matter protest.’
It’s important to remember that statues are asked for, commissioned and paid for. There are several governing bodies and organisations who hold the purse strings that control who is immortalised in bronze.
The toppling of a statue of 17th century slave trader Edward Colston has been a rallying cry (Picture: KEIR GRAVIL via REUTERS)
Taslim Martin is a sculptor from London who has been a professional artist for more than 20 years. He explains how sculptors are just a piece of a large puzzle: ‘The sculptor doesn’t have the sole responsibility when it comes to sculpting a real person for a public setting, often there is a steering group with a whole range of different criteria that has to be satisfied.
‘In short, “he who pays the piper calls the tune” – the final result is a negotiation between the artistic vision of the sculptor and the many, varied views and desires of the commissioning body.’
On Tuesday 9 June, London Mayor Sadiq Khan announced a commission to review statues, plaques, and street names in the capital. The commission has said they will ‘consider the representation of BAME communities, women, the LGBTQ+ community and disability groups as part of its mission’.
The simple fact is that current statues in public spaces do not celebrate diverse figures. It’s mostly white men put on the pedestal, ignoring the rich hues of melanin in today’s Britain.
Many people have used the phrase being of ‘their time’ as a rebuttal to allegations that the likes of Winston Churchill were racist.
A statue of Winston Churchill was given protection during anti-racism protests (Picture: AFP/GETTY IMAGES)
Valda Jackson came to this country at the age of five from Jamaica and her career spans over 30 years.
She says: ‘Yes, these people are “of their time”. We are of our time and we know right from wrong.
‘As an artist and an individual I will at times be transported by a particular work of art revealed by sun moon or street light – these works can be figurative or abstract and I will feel fortunate to be able to see it.
‘And then just around the corner perhaps, I might see a statue and although I understand why it had been commissioned and then erected, I am just amazed that the thing is still here with us, now.
‘Generally, statues of individuals were made in recognition of that individual’s contribution to culture and society. Often this was based upon wealth and patronage.’
Jackson’s comments call for an answer to the same question a lot of people have been asking: what kind of people do we want to celebrate on our streets moving forward?
In more recent times the statue of Henry Morton Stanley in Denbigh, Wales – which was unveiled in 2010 – has garnered controversy.
The H. M. Stanley statue in Denbigh, Wales (Picture: Jeff Buck/Geograph)
H. M. Stanley worked with the Belgian King Leopold II, who enforced a brutal rule that saw the Congolese enslaved and exploited – all while pocketing from their land.
The statue of him was sculpted by Nick Elphick, who declined to take part in an interview, but did send a lengthy statement.
Elphick explained how he perceives the criticism: ‘The fact that there is a petition to have the Statue of H.M. Stanley taken down makes me feel quite sad, as it was for me – a labour of love and I felt I was doing it for my local area and the people of Congo in Africa.
‘I was made aware of the controversy a quarter of the way into the contract and job. Obviously, it was a great shock to me, and I had to talk to the local historian involved on the project […] I got in touch with the Congolese and I discovered they adored him.
‘I made the decision to not wrongly accuse a man of his time… I felt in my heart that the things said by some about him were exaggerated and not true. I know for sure he did a great deal of good in the Congo.’
The Black Lives Matter movement, the fall of Colston and his consequent trip to the local river has achieved one thing for sure – for us all to interrogate who exactly adorns our streets.
Michelle is selling naked photos on OnlyFans to fund treatment for Lyme disease (Picture: Michelle De Feo)
Michelle De Feo, a model who lives on a farm in Essex, was diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2016 – and is now selling nude photos online to fund her treatment.
Lyme disease is a bacterial infection that’s spread to humans by infected ticks.
Often, the person affected will develop a rash which can last for several months – but some people end up with flu-like symptoms, such as a high temperature, headaches, muscle and joint pain, tiredness and loss of energy.
Michelle, 28, had been ill for a year, with her main symptoms severe dizziness and tiredness. She also had blood in her urine.
She believes she was bitten by a tick when she was surrounded by horses, deer and woodland while on the farm.
She sought help from her GP over that year, but said they were ‘useless’ and ‘didn’t take her seriously’, instead diagnosing her with anxiety and chronic fatigue syndrome – but Michelle ‘knew it was more serious than that’.
Michelle thinks she developed Lyme disease after getting a tick bite on the farm where she lives (Picture: Michelle De Feo)
What is Lyme disease and what are the symptoms?
Lyme disease is a bacterial infection that can be spread to humans by infected ticks. It’s usually easier to treat if it’s diagnosed early.
Many people with early symptoms of Lyme disease develop a circular red skin rash around a tick bite.
The rash can appear up to three months after being bitten by a tick and usually lasts for several weeks.
Most rashes appear within the first four weeks.
The bullseye rash that typically appears after the development of Lyme disease following a tick bite (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Not everyone with Lyme disease gets the rash. Some people also have flu-like symptoms in the early stages, such as:
a high temperature, or feeling hot and shivery
headaches
muscle and joint pain
tiredness and loss of energy
Some people who are diagnosed and treated for Lyme disease continue to have symptoms, like tiredness, aches and loss of energy, that can last for years.
Michelle then went to a private doctor who diagnosed her with vertigo-related migraines, and gave her more medication for headaches.
It wasn’t until one of her friends suggested that her symptoms sounded like Lyme disease, that she decided to go back to her GP and ask to be tested.
She was asked whether she’d been bitten – she said she’d had a couple of bites previously, but hadn’t thought anything of it.
With this information, the GP carried out blood tests – but Lyme wasn’t detected.
It wasn’t until Michelle had decided that enough was enough, knowing that something had to be wrong, that she sought help from a German clinic, who sent her for a £600 blood test.
After being diagnosed, Michelle was put on antibiotics for three hours a day (Picture: Michelle De Feo)
After the diagnosis, she was put on antibiotics for three hours a day, every day, and oxygen for four hours a day.
Unfortunately the antibiotics didn’t work and Michelle’s symptoms have continued to worsen.
Michelle tells Metro.co.uk: ‘I suffer with dizziness, tiredness and weight loss and it’s extremely draining.
‘Some days I can’t even more.’
Michelle has now decided to seek treatment privately.
‘If you ask other Lyme patients they will tell you the same of their struggles,’ she says.
The illness is incredibly draining (Picture: Michelle De Feo)
‘At the moment I’m treating myself with supplements on my own while I raise more money.’
After researching her condition, Michelle found a doctor out in Washington, US, who she thinks can help her.
She is hoping to travel there in hopes that the medical team will be able to alleviate some of her debilitating symptoms – but this trip and the treatment costs £6,000.
Michelle has decided to start selling nude photos as a way to make up the funds.
She says: ‘I’m selling my nudes on a site called OnlyFans, to my followers.
Michelle now shares naked photos on OnlyFans to her subscribed followers (Picture: Michelle De Feo)
‘I don’t take nudes every day – I have set days to take content and then I upload as I go along. So I don’t have to work every day, which is great. I see why a lot of girls do it, to be honest.
‘I’ve so far raised £3,000, so I’m trying to raise more to make sure all of my treatment is covered.
‘I heard you could make great money from OnlyFans, so I decided “Why not do that as well?”.
‘Plus I was a model before I fell sick, so nudity wasn’t a problem for me.’
OnlyFans is a website that allows a variety of adult material – including photos and sexual videos – but Michelle says she is ‘not an adult model’, as she only shares nudes.
Michelle wants to raise awareness of Lyme disease (Picture: Michelle De Feo)
‘Some people get confused with nudity and porn, but I don’t shoot porn’, she says.
‘I shoot really tasteful stuff.’
Michelle’s parents are aware that she is selling nude photos to raise money. While at first they weren’t happy about it, they have now accepted it and even feel it’s an empowering situation.
Michelle’s photos – all locked as private and only available to those who subscribe for £5.99 a month – show her fully naked, topless, and wearing lingerie.
‘I can sell custom content too at an extra price, which is around £30 to £50’, she says.
So far, Michelle has been able to use some of the money raised to spend on consultations here in the UK, and supplements – but she says it is hard to save up when you have a medical condition.
She’s hoping to raise another £3,000 so that she can fly over the States once lockdown measures are eased and flights to the US are allowed once again.
Michelle hopes to raise awareness of Lyme disease for others struggling with it and hopes that by sharing her story, others will feel confident enough to speak out, too.
Working from home has a number of benefits – from being able to watch Come Dine With Me while you type away to saving money on the commute.
But you’ll probably notice there are a number of downsides, too, from a sore back because your chair isn’t ergonomic to the fact we haven’t gotten out of pyjamas for weeks.
These downsides don’t just lead to us feeling a little sluggish come the weekend. Apparently they could also lead to long-term health problems.
Job experts, DirectlyApply have created a terrifying model depicting what you could look like if you worked from home for the rest of your life. Her name is Susan, and she’s tired af.
Susan was created by a team of clinical psychologists and fitness experts who determined the effects remote working has on both our physical and mental health.
The model portrays the effects isolated working can have on your body if we don’t take the necessary steps to avoid them.
Here’s what we can expect if this whole remote working thing continues for a quarter of a century:
We actually have these exact PJ bottoms (Picture: DirectlyApply)
Computer Vision Syndrome
Staring at screens all day can also cause Digital Eye Strain or Computer Vision Syndrome. This results in dry, inflamed and bloodshot eyes, as well as eye irritation, redness and blurred vision. Over time it can also negatively impact your eyesight.
While this can happen in a standard office setting, we might be more inclined to take breaks (cuppa and water cooler chat anyone?) and be part of meetings that don’t involve staring at a screen.
Schedule a five minute screen break at least every hour and try to stay off screens once you finish work.
Poor Posture
Even if you have a proper WFH setup, you might be breaking proper health and safety procedure when it comes to how you sit and the way you’re looking up or down at your screen.
Couple this poor posture with a lack of physical exercise (we’re not judging) and this can result in a hyperextended neck, rounded shoulders and a hunchback which will start developing over time.
It will work its way from your neck to your hands and back as the strains slowly create a bend in the neck.
Stress can have wide-ranging effects on the body (Picture: DirectlyApply)
Repetitive typing strain
Typing repetitively over long periods of time can lead to repetitive strain injury in your hands and wrists that can significantly worsen and result in poor posture in other parts of the body over time.
If you’re experiencing more symptoms of RSI recently, it may be because your working setup is causing you to stretch your wrists and fingers in ways you wouldn’t normally.
At the start of lockdown you might have been raring to get outside for your state-sanctioned daily walk.
Now the streets are busier and you’re set in your routine, though, perhaps that keen-bean spirit has dropped off slightly. This could be bad news for your barnet.
Vitamin D is mostly absorbed from sun exposure, so working indoors all day can leave the body deficient which can cause hair loss and new hair growth can be significantly stunted.
Keeping your work area bright and taking breaks are key to avoiding wrinkles and dark circles (Picture: DirectlyApply)
Dark circles
Staring at multiple screens while working all day can cause prominent dark circles to form in the skin under your eyes, leaving you looking tired and haggard after prolonged periods.
Poor Susan may have been working longer hours while at home, and not adjusting her lights. Dark circles can be worsened when you strain your eyes, enlarging the blood vessels.
As mentioned before, make sure to take regular screen breaks, get plenty of sleep, and keep the room bright so you don’t need to squint to see.
Tech neck
A very modern problem caused by looking up or down at laptops and phones, this results in excessive strain on the neck, a rounder shoulder and often counter strain in different parts of the body such as increased lower back pain and shortened hamstrings.
Wrinkles are a natural part of ageing, however certain habits such as squinting at a screen all day can increase the onset of premature lines forming beneath the surface of the skin, leading to wrinkles such as crows feet or frown lines.
Especially in poor light conditions, the blue light from your phone or laptop could be damaging your skin and causing you to squint.
Lacking in Vitamin D and B-12 due to reduced sunlight exposure can also result in pale, dull and malnourished looking skin.
Give blue light blocking glasses a go, take regular breaks – preferably outdoors – and keep your eyes hydrated.
Increased Stress
Going without human contact and overworking for long periods of time can lead to higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which raises blood pressure and has harmful effects on physical health.
Kate Brierton, Clinical Psychologist, advises to ‘remind yourself that you need down-time so you can stay healthy and be the best version of yourself both at work and home.
‘Try to have a delineated home-working space if you can, ideally a separate room, but if that’s not possible, delineate the space with the way you lay out the furniture, use some house plants or pictures to mark your working space, or divide the floor space with a rug.
‘Set a reminder up on your phone or screen to take regular breaks, getting up and moving around, eating and drinking properly and getting outside for some physical exercise if possible.’
Alisha makes soft bodied dolls in all colours (Picture Ella Byworth/ Thimble and Doll)
Welcome to Black Owned, a series that celebrates the brilliant Black entrepreneurs doing bits in the UK.
Despite the challenges, the community continues to create important and brilliant work – and we’re here to make sure that you know about it.
This week, we’ve got Alisha Lestrade, founder of Thimble & Doll – a company specialising in soft-bodied dolls that come in all shapes and colours.
At a time when representation has never been more important – particularly for your children – there’s never been a better time to talk about leveling the pitch via creativity.
What made you decide to start Thimble & Doll?
I started Thimble & Doll under the name Sugacandipop in 2009, because my nieces wanted soft-bodied dolls that looked like them. I searched everywhere but I could only find plastic dolls; it was impossible to find any that were soft or dark-skinned.
As I was a maker and liked to sew, I decided that I would make them one each. I drew out a design, gave it a go and they came out really well. After making them, I realised that I couldn’t be the only person out there trying to find a doll that looked like my family, so I started looking for as many skin tones as I could.
I wanted to make dolls for children who were unable to find one that represented them. When I started out, I only had four skin tones.
I put my business on pause when I had my son, but I kept researching and sourcing fabrics and planned to re-open my business once my son had started nursery. I rebranded, renamed and relaunched my business in 2017 – when Thimble & Doll was born.
What impact do you think the lack of representation in children’s literature/toys/TV has on pride and personal development?
Representation and diversity are the core values of my brand and I think there’s truth in the saying that ‘you can’t be what you can’t see’.
I think that a lack of representation, added to misrepresentation and stereotyping, can lead to problems further down the line in terms of self-image, self-esteem and confidence.
If children aren’t able to see people who look like them in varied and positive roles, it can lead to them thinking and believing that those roles and spaces aren’t accessible to people that look like them. I think it is extremely important to have representation in literary characters, toys and TV shows so that children are enabled to aspire to greatness.
How long does each doll take you to make? What’s the process?
I stitch each of my dolls by hand and they can take anything from three hours for an 8-inch doll, to eight hours for a 22-inch doll. I love hand sewing and really enjoy putting that extra special touch on a doll, especially when I’m personalising them.
For the customer, designing a doll is a really easy process and can be done on my website in four steps:
Choose the skin tone you’d like for your doll (there are 11 beautiful shades to choose from)
Choose your doll’s hairstyle (I have 27 hairstyles and one that I use exclusively for baby dolls)
Once the hairstyle has been chosen, you then get to choose hair colour
Lastly, choose the fabric you’d like for the doll’s dress or shirt. If you want to add an extra special touch, there is the option to add the child’s name or initials, which I then hand embroider onto the doll’s heart.
Before lockdown, my customers were able to find me on a stall at one of many the makers’ markets in and around London. They could either order a bespoke design from me or buy one of the pre-made dolls I created for market sales. I love selling at markets because I love meeting and interacting with my customers; it’s amazing to have a child come up and find a doll that looks like them or to meet a parent who has struggled to find a doll that looks like their child and be able to give them the opportunity to design their perfect doll.
Alisha sews each doll by hand after her customers have choosen their preferred colours and materials (Picture: Alisha Lestrade)
Has being a Black business owner impacted your success in any way?
I don’t think my identity has impacted my success with my doll business, but I did have a negative experience when applying to a very well-known charity for business funding when I was younger.
I had plans to open a haircare shop specifically for afro hair care products and supplies. I had to pitch my business idea to a panel and one member scoffed at the idea, telling me that he ‘didn’t know there was a difference in products for coloured people’s hair’. There wasn’t a single non-white member of that panel and I think that maybe if there had been, there might have been a bit more of an awareness and less ignorance.
I do think that there are certain industries where it would be much harder for a non-white entrepreneur to get their business off the ground – especially in the funding stage.
Is the Black Lives Matter movement making it easier for Black businesses to thrive?
I don’t know if it’s making it easier for Black businesses to thrive, but I would say it is helping a lot of businesses to gain visibility.
I’ve seen new business networking and support groups for Black business owners open up on social media, Black business directories have grown their members and it feels like there are people actively seeking out Black-owned businesses to support.
On Instagram, there have been quite a few ‘tag a Black-owned business’ posts, which is great and has meant that people have been able to signpost others to a business they might not have known about before.
It’s too early to tell whether it’s going to make a material difference, however. A few new followers don’t necessarily convert to sales, but the noise online is definitely helping to put a spotlight on the skills and talents out there that historically have been overlooked.
What advice do you have for other women looking to set up their own business?
Go for it, trust your gut, don’t overthink things and keep good records! That’s all the advice I wish I had taken when I was starting out!
Putting systems and processes in place is key as it’s easy to get yourself in a mess (as I often do). Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, or to take help when it is offered! Learn how to use the online scheduling tools – any apps or programs that can take the workload off your hands is worth looking into.
Make time for yourself where you are not working, set aside some downtime and get a cleaner! No, really – get a cleaner!
What plans do you have for Thimble & Doll going forwards?
Lockdown has given me a lot of time to think about what is next. I have been working on new designs, I have new products in the pipeline and in mid-July, I’ll be adding a new collection of dolls to my online shop.
I’ve also been working on plans for a new arm of my business which is really exciting – but I can’t say too much about that yet!
I’m really looking forward to getting back out there at makers’ markets. I miss the interaction with my customers face-to-face so I plan on attending as many as I can when the world opens back up for business and indoor markets are back on.
One Saturday evening in early March, my partner, Tim, and I were sitting in a cocktail bar nervously waiting for our date, a woman called Andrea.
We’d met on Feeld, a dating app that has been called ‘Tinder for threesomes’. Like anyone who has dated online, we’ve had our share of awkward meet-ups; it’s tough enough finding someone you feel a spark with when it’s just one-on-one, let alone three.
But that evening wasn’t one of them. Our first date with Andrea went brilliantly. One glass of wine turned into two, which turned into three. When several dogs turned up in the bar, Andrea and I realised we shared an obsession. We all talked openly, and realised our outlook on life, and love, was extremely compatible.
We made plans to all hang out two weeks later. Andrea came to our place and we had an incredible weekend, laughing constantly and repeating how lucky we all felt to have met.
She left on Monday 23 March, the evening Boris Johnson announced lockdown. After he finished, Andrea texted saying ‘It was nice knowing you’ along with a sad face emoji.
I could see where she was coming from – at that point it seemed unlikely that something so new would survive months of being apart. But the thought of the relationship fizzling out so quickly really got to me.
Tim agreed – it felt like we shared a special connection, and we knew from our 18 months of Feeld that people like Andrea don’t come along very often. So we decided to keep our relationship going.
The three of us were constantly on WhatsApp and FaceTime. We sent naughty pictures and videos. Each week we watched Ru Paul’s Drag Race together on Zoom.
Tim and I messaged Andrea separately but there was no secrecy, which meant no jealousy either. I’m a very unreliable texter, the kind of person who often misplaces their phone, while Tim is naturally more chatty. Through Andrea we got to understand our differing communication styles.
By April, we had all started to really miss each other. It was easier for Tim and I; we have been together for eight years and live together, and being able to talk face to face, or just cuddle up on the sofa, helped us to handle the anxiety of lockdown. I worried about how Andrea was coping without that.
The three of us made it through those weeks apart because we were excited enough by each other to put in the effort, and I know I speak for all three of us now when I say I’m very glad we did
Yet whilst it kept us physically apart, lockdown, ironically, brought us closer together. On that first weekend we’d pretty much jumped straight into bed together, which was very fun, but the distance forced us to talk a lot.
We chatted about our jobs, our ambitions, our families. We’d even delved into our anxieties and hang ups about sex, and relationships. We had space and time to discuss what we wanted, and what we didn’t, our sexual boundaries as well as our fantasies, and we didn’t shy away from difficult topics like our future. We all agreed that we’d each be open to dating more people beyond our trio.
When the lockdown rules finally relaxed, Tim, Andrea and I met up in a local park. We were all secretly worried that it would be awkward (and all admitted it to each other later), but we felt as comfortable together as we did that first weekend.
We said cheers with plastic cups of wine, congratulating ourselves for having made it through amid reports of soaring divorce rates and tales of lockdown induced break-ups.
When Tim and I started dating other people as a couple, we were doing it for the sex, sure, but we also wanted something more meaningful – to make real connections with real people who would enrich our lives in new and exciting ways.
One of the biggest misconceptions is that Tim and I must be ‘bored’ of one another, and that Andrea is there to liven things up for us. I find this really annoying. First of all, it’s disrespectful to Andrea – because who would want to be some kind of human sex toy in a couple’s dysfunctional relationship?
Secondly, making this dynamic work involves a huge amount of honesty and openness. Sometimes there’s real emotional work needed too. Believe me, a couple who were tired of one another wouldn’t bother. No relationship, monogamous or otherwise, is fun all the time but hook up culture and dating apps encourage us to forget that.
The three of us made it through those weeks apart because we were excited enough by each other to put in the effort, and I know I speak for all three of us now when I say I’m very glad we did.
We’ve had loads more great weekends together since lockdown eased and we’re planning some road trips around the UK. Right now, we’re looking forward to spending the summer together.
Back in March when Andrea approached our table in that cocktail bar and I thought ‘Wow, she’s hot’ I obviously had no idea of the situation we were about to find ourselves in.
However, now I’ve been through a global pandemic as part of a couple with a lover, I realise that love is about being willing to try.
Love, Or Something Like It is a regular series for Metro.co.uk, covering everything from mating and dating to lust and loss, to find out what love is and how to find it in the present day. If you have a love story to share, email rosy.edwards@metro.co.uk
