Maddie’s condition means she is always smiling (Picture: Mercury Press & Media Ltd)
Madeline Hnidey lives with Angelman Syndrome – a genetic condition that affects the nervous system and causes severe physical and learning difficulties.
Part of the condition is that she laughs all the time, is easily excitable and can’t stop smiling.
The three-year-old, from Texas, US, was diagnosed with the rare Angelman Syndrome at ten months old.
Mum, Kira, 38, said: ‘She’s always smiling, the only time she cries is when she’s in pain but even then it alternates between crying and smiles.
‘It makes it more bearable. She has this innocence that kids usually grow out of.
‘She’s so happy and loving and wants to pull you close.
‘The condition was called happy puppet syndrome before it was called Angelman Syndrome
‘I don’t know what goes on in her head but the way her expressions are say that she’s happy.
Maddie has Angelman Syndrome (Picture: Mercury Press & Media Ltd)
‘When we’re in hospital and she’s having needles and bloods taken, the nurses can’t get enough of her because she’s so smiley and happy and isn’t that what every one wants to be?’
Madeline was diagnosed after she suffered her first seizure and mum Kira decided to give up her job in the air force to take care of her full time.
Kira said: ‘I was in shock when she was first diagnosed and I just wasn’t prepared.
‘The first thing I wanted to know was whether she was going to die but luckily it doesn’t really affect life span but they can be more susceptible to pneumonia and have seizure accidents.
‘She needs 24 hour care. One of the hardest things is the lack of sleep.
‘She usually sleeps for two to three hours per night and we can’t live like that.’
Madeline also struggles to communicate, is tube fed and suffers from one seizure every minute where she loses control of her muscles.
Kira said: ‘Maddie can say “mum” so far.
‘The seizures are difficult to control because the quantity is dependant on the day but they have been extra bad lately.
Kira and Maddie (Picture: Mercury Press & Media Ltd)
‘It’s loss of muscle and her eyes roll back for a few seconds but we’re up to one a minute now.
‘She’s taking several medications so we can try to control them.
‘They are difficult to quantify at the minute but they are very bad, we have times where they are barely noticeable and some days that are just bad.’
Maddie, who lives with her mum and sisters, Emberlynn, 12, and Avalon, 10, goes to physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy and Kira said she’s getting stronger by the day.
Kira said: ‘Her sisters absolutely love her, they think she’s special.
‘It must be hard because she needs a lot of care and attention from me.
‘Maddie absolutely loves them and she gets so excited when she sees them.
‘It’s very difficult but when you love your child you’d do anything for them.
‘I hope people accept her for who she is as she gets older.’
One said: ‘I’ve got something similar in green lol.. but I could defo have another.’
Another person added: ‘This is so pretty.’
‘I need this in my life,’ someone else said.
Of course, Primark doesn’t sell online so if you are lucky enough to live close to one of the stores stocking the stool, head down soon before it sells out.
One glamour model once had me continually adding items to my shopping cart until I reached £1,000 (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
I will always remember the first time I realised I was into being dominated. I was in secondary school and a girl in my class wanted me to pay for her lunch.
I said no, as I only had enough for myself, and in front of all her friends, she grabbed me by the balls and demanded I hand it over. I liked it.
At 18, I started watching domination porn and researching to see if it was something I could be into. My first time visiting a dominatrix – or ‘domme’ – saw me kicked in the groin, made to suck on her heels and denied orgasm over and over.
I loved it. I would be sore for a few days afterwards, but it was absolutely worth it.
The bit I enjoyed most, however, was handing over the money. It wasn’t until I came across the term ‘financial domination’ – or ‘findom’ – on a domme’s website that I recognised it as my kink.
Soon after, I opened a Twitter account and started serving dommes financially online. This would range from purchasing clips (soundbites of dommes verbally abusing slaves) to buying women items from their Amazon wishlists. The delivery addresses attached to accounts are hidden so I would never know where my purchase was going.
One glamour model once had me continually adding items to my shopping cart until I reached £1,000 – only then could I continue to the checkout. We were on Skype while I shopped for her, and she laughed as I hit purchase and reached climax. It was a very expensive happy ending.
Another woman, who I met on Tinder, had me follow her around a shopping centre carrying her bags while she spent on my credit card. How does anyone spend £1,400 in Topshop?
Later, a particular domme locked me in a chastity cage – a steel device that is fitted around the penis – in my car and kept the key until I had paid her an ‘acceptable’ amount. By the end of the night I was about four grand worse off.
I didn’t want to give her anywhere near that amount but I was completely at the woman’s mercy and the feeling of helplessness turned me on (which is very painful when locked in chastity). I begged for some of it back when she released me and got a swift knee to the balls for even suggesting it.
My favourite findom experience, however, was with my ex-girlfriend.
It was never something we discussed while we were together but we did explore other types of domination – she regularly tied me up for an entire night. So while I thought there might be a chance she would say yes, I was still surprised at how quickly she took to being my financial superior.
What started off with me paying for hair cuts turned into so much more. She once sat on my face in the back of my car and the next thing I know, she’s laughing having just booked a £3,500 two-week trip to Barbados for her and her best friend.
On another occasion she racked up £800 in Victoria’s Secret on underwear and made me kneel at her feet while she showed them off, cackling as she waved the receipt in my face. The thought of it still turns me on.
To look at me, you would never know that I’m into findom (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
We no longer speak and she has a boyfriend now, so at least it has gone to good use.
I am now ‘owned’ by another glamour model who lives in the north of the UK. We get together occasionally – although never for anything less than £500 – and I never get anything sexual from it. She told me ‘I should pay to be in her presence,’ and I have to agree. I work full time as a writer and have lots of freelance work on the side – most of my salary goes to her.
To look at me, you would never know that I’m into findom. I live a very normal life with great family and friends. I have had plenty of ‘regular’ relationships, too, with lovely partners. I’ve never struggled with women; the problem is finding one who is comfortable with my kink.
Most people would say findom has changed my life for the worst, and perhaps they’re right.
In the last five years I have gone from having a couple of grand of savings to pushing £20,000 of findom debt. It has massively set me back in my life aspirations and I sometimes do feel low about my financial situation.
I’m 30 now and had once dreamed of having a nice house, but it will be years before I get a mortgage and I struggle to pay rent with all the credit card debt I am trying to pay off.
I’ve thought about having a family but unfortunately I can’t even maintain an erection without someone taking my money. It worries me; Viagra has been a great help but I’m very young to be relying on that.
Yet I have loved serving some of these fantastically dominant women. Respect can develop between a domme and a findom slave – of course, there are some women out there simply out to make a quick few quid but if you find the right goddess, the feeling of making her life richer is wonderful.
Findom is the perfect way to give up control to a woman without walking with a limp for a week, and knowing that women are spending my money and enjoying themselves makes me feel useful.
It’s something many won’t understand but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. I’ve seen it growing in popularity and it’s not as taboo as it once was.
I’m proud that I have helped my current owner to purchase two houses, and know that my money helps her live the best life possible. I believe she deserves my cash more than I do. If people could see what she looks like, they would soon see why a loser like me is proud to serve her.
I have learned to live with that financial damage, and embrace it. I’ll be applying for credit cards and loans and then paying them off in a cycle until my owner tells me I no longer have to. I have accepted my fate. I’ll worry about the financial implications when that day arrives.
Matti said mum Claire is a huge support (Picture: SWNS)
Matti Elliot is only 17 but he wants to take his drag queen alter ego Amber Lynne to the big stage – and his mum Claire is helping him every step of the way.
The 49-year-old lets him practise his make up techniques and loves when he transforms how she looks.
The mum-of-two now regularly enjoys throwing herself into the world of drag alongside her boy.
Claire, who runs a dog boarding house from her home in Cranleigh, Surrey, said: ‘I actually love it, it’s so much fun!
‘It’s a great time to bond too and we have such a laugh doing it.
‘Most of the time Matti wants to practise on himself but there will be those occasions when he needs a new canvas… and I’m more than happy to oblige.
‘Any time I’ve got a spare few hours or even if his mates are over he’ll make us sit down to get our make-up done.
‘He’s getting really good at it now and it’s such a fun world to be in.
‘He’s got a bit of a unique selling point too as most drag queens mime their songs but he’s a trained singer and so won’t have to.
‘I always knew that he was special and so we weren’t at all shocked when he said he wanted to be a drag queen.
‘We’re both obsessed with Ru-Paul’s Drag Race on TV and I think watching it gave Matti the extra confidence boost he needed to go for it.
‘He’s been doing it for a year now and loves, he wants to do it for a job.’
Matti and Claire (Picture: SWNS)
Claire says that her teen was obsessed with Disney princess dresses and would always choose the dressing up box over other toys.
As he got older, he showed more of an interest in the art of drag and has been performing as Amber Lynne – a take on Henry VIII’s second wife – with The United Shapes of Drag group in The Apple Tree pub, Clerkenwell, London, for a year.
Mattie learned to sew in GCSE textiles which has been key for his drag career as he is able to save money by creating his own costumes.
He explained: ‘I was so lucky as I had a really supportive teacher and she said I’d have to take textiles if I was serious about drag, so I did!
‘I can easily knock up a quick leotard or whatever now, but for the more special costumes I go to to a fabulous designer on Etsy who makes amazing gowns.
‘I’ve improved so much since I first dabbled with it at 13.
‘I used to love watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race and basically tried my first proper drag after just seeing one episode.
Matti Elliott out of drag (Picture: Claire Elliott / SWNS.COM)
‘I’ve honestly never looked back, it was like everything suddenly made sense. It’s such a vital show.
‘It definitely used to feel very much like something that society wouldn’t be happy with and before watching, I didn’t have any idols or role models to aspire to.’
Being into drag at school was difficult for Matti but he was determined to pursue the art and even went to prom as Amber Lynne.
Mum Claire added: ‘We are so proud of him and all that he’s achieved.
Matti practices makeup on his mum Claire (Picture: SWNS)
‘I know that he might come across negativity out in the world, he already has, so I really feel it’s my job to make home as lovely as possible and somewhere he can feel 100% supported.
‘School was hard at times, as it will be when you’re young and doing anything alternative, but Matti had great people around him.
‘He was even brave enough to go to prom in drag, luckily he was supported by all his friends and teachers.’
Matti hopes to take part in the Miss Drag UK competition next year (Picture: SWNS)
Matti said: ‘It’s just feels normal to me to have such a supportive mum, but I do realise how lucky I am.
‘She’s always just allowed me to go down my own path, as long as she can make sure I’m safe, she’s happy.’
The teen – who is currently studying song writing at the Academy of Contemporary Music, in Guilford, Surrey – is through to the finals of drag pageant, Miss Drag UK.
Due to the coronavirus pandemic the pageant has been postponed until next year, 2021, but Claire says Matti has taken this knockback in his stride and it will give him ‘even more time to polish up each outfit!’.
The contest will raise money for two charities: mental health charity, Mind UK and Abigail’s Footsteps, a child bereavement charity.
Matti Elliott and his mother Claire in drag (Picture: Claire Elliott / SWNS.COM)
Despite being keen for a career in drag, at only 17-years-old, sensible Matti is in no rush.
He said: ‘At the moment I’m taking one step at a time.
‘I would really love to win Drag UK this year, I just want to get my name out there.
‘Things will be easier when I hit 18 anyway.
‘I always say that I feel like Amber Lynne is a painting that I’ve been working on for five years.. and that it’s finally ready.’
Jayne now lives in the transformed chapel (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
Jayne Fowler, 59, was house sitting for a friend when she walked past an estate agent’s window and spotted an old chapel up for sale.
She decided to put in an offer of £155,000 and turn it into her dream home.
Within a week the former school administrator set to work and project managed the entire project for the next 12 months.
She was able to draw on skills her late husband Harry taught her when they built their house – named Pear Tree Cottage – from scratch together in 1999.
The gran-of-three now lives in the 1852 Chapel, in Salisbury, Wiltshire, which now boasts a modern interior with a kitchen, plush bedroom and its own stain-glass window.
Jayne Fowler and her late husband Harry (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
Mum-of-two Jayne said: ‘I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out.
‘When I got my Completion Certificate I looked at Harry’s photo and said “I did it Harry!!”
‘When we built Pear Tree Cottage from the ground up I learnt everything.
The chapel before its renovation (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
‘Harry taught me how to use power tools and then let me use them under his guidance until I was confident to use them safely.
‘He taught me everything – from how to mix cement, chop wood, how to cork and tape plasterboard.
‘After he had passed away I realised I had a real curiosity for self build, renovations and the housing market in general.’
The inside of the chapel during its renovation (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
Jayne did have professional help and mostly project managed but helped with the work where she could.
She added: ‘I used hand drills, regular hand saw, jigsaw and chop saws during the renovation.
‘I was helping out with the flooring. It was so much fun.
Jayne stripped it down to four walls and started again (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
‘It took about a year and I did have sleepless nights wondering whether I could pull it off and one of my neighbours seriously doubted me.
‘But a year later I did it! A 59-year-old widow with more determination than sense it seems!’
Jayne and civil engineering manager Harry built Pear Tree Cottage in Pamber End, Hampshire, in 1999 and she lived there until his death in 2015.
The finished chapel (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
Suddenly widowed, she sold the home and bought a holiday lodge.
But three years later while house-sitting for a friend Jayne stumbled across the Ebenzer Methodist Chapel in an estate agents window.
She viewed it two days later, and bought it the next day for £155,000. Two days after that, she started work.
The garden (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
She spent £135,000 to renovate it, including a reroofing but it was finished last July and she has been living in it ever since.
Jayne said: ‘After building the first house I always had an interest in properties.
‘We built that one from scratch. The site we bought was an acre site with a derelict 15th Century cottage on it, a London South West first class train carriage and lots of tin outbuildings.
The living area (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
‘We cleared the land and out building, and erected a three-bed detached and thatched house, and then renovated the little cottage.
‘It was a fun project we did together and I found it really rewarding.
‘Then a couple of years back when Harry passed away I walking past an estate agents and it caught my eye.
The bedroom (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
‘There were three other people interested in it but my offer was the best at £155,000. I completely fell in love with it.
‘The next morning I woke up and my husband popped into my head. I thought “Oh my God Harry, what have I done?”
‘But there was no going back and I didn’t have Harry to help me.’
When she first arrived the house was covered in ivy and mould and the windows and roof timbers were rotten.
Inside the now renovated chapel (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
Jayne adds: ‘I started gutting it out over the next three months as I applied for a change in planning consent and had to have a bat survey done.
‘Once that was done I took it back to just four walls and started from there.
‘I did have some serious doubts over the course of it.
The front of the chapel (Picture: Jayne Fowler / SWNS.COM)
‘I had many sleepless nights wondering if I could pull it off.
‘There was a point where I was £200,000 out of pocket and the place was anything but habitable.
‘But I was able to do it drawing on everything Harry had taught me.’
Jayne has had the house valued between £375,000 and £450,000 but says the unique property is hard to value.
She said: ‘Harry was really remarkable and didn’t have any qualifications.
‘He gave me the ultimate gift of giving me the confidence to take on a challenge.
‘I see it as a legacy to him.’
Do you have an amazing home transformation story to tell?
Tracie wanted to make something out of her cancelled wedding (Picture: Dave Fuller Photography)
On 27 June, Tracie Stanley-Wills and her partner Craig were meant to getting married with a hand-fasting ceremony in front of 50 friends and family.
Sadly, when coronavirus struck back in March, they decided to postpone until next year.
But Tracie still wore a wedding dress last Saturday on the day that she’d planned to get married, instead running a 5K to raise money for two charities close to her heart.
Having not been much of a runner before as she lives with fibromyalgia, osteoporosis and a false hip, she chose to complete the couch to 5k programme, as it was a challenging but manageable distance for her with her conditions.
Tracie, from Sherwood, Nottingham, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Although our wedding was in June, we made the decision to cancel the weekend before lockdown was announced. It felt good because we made the decision for the right reasons and not because we didn’t have permission.
‘We were going away for a whole weekend with about 50 people to celebrate love – not just our love but we wanted to show everyone how much to love them. When we heard about coronavirus, we knew the best way to show people we love them was by not putting them at risk.’
Tracie admits that although they knew it was the right decision, it was still difficult coming to terms with the fact that their wedding would be different to how they planned when they have it on the same date next year.
She says: ‘2021 has all its own brides and some of the suppliers we wanted are already booked up for next year. Of course, we will have our wedding next year but it just might not be what we were thinking.’
Initially, at the start of lockdown, Tracie wallowed a little – but realised she needed to do something and the ‘bride without a wedding’ run was born.
She explains: ‘At first, I was thinking I didn’t need to get into a dress now and I was just eating whatever. I saw my weight creeping up slowly and suddenly a few things sort of came together.
‘I decided to do couch to 5K, which was a real challenge for me because of my physical limitations. The gym was shut and running was something I could do during my daily exercise. I realised that the nine-week couch to 5K would take me almost right up to the date we were going to have the wedding.’
Tracie found a £20 short wedding dress she’d bought in a charity shop before lockdown, which she was saving to wear for dancing at the evening segment of her wedding and decided she would run her final 5K in the dress and raise money for charity.
When it came to choosing charities, she decided to spilt the money raised between two that were special to her.
She says: ‘Craig and I are both in long-term recovery. We both went through a rehab called Studio House at different times. Craig now works there.
‘They were starting to struggled financially with COVID and I thought I could help them. Rehabs aren’t a ‘pretty’ cause and I wanted to raise awareness too.
‘For the other cause I asked a friend about raising something for the NHS and they said to pick a hospital so I chose Nottingham’s Queen’s Medical Centre as my mum died there in the ICU.
‘I then realised that there was five kilometres between the two facilities and I could run that. It all just fell together.’
She decided to finish at Wollaton Hall Park beside the hospital to allow friends to meet her from a social distance at the end.
With the route planned and charities chosen, she started the programme running for just a minute before stopping to walk and then repeating in week on.
She says: ‘Week one was 60 seconds and I was dying. I could hardly breathe and I was thinking it was never going to work.
‘I got into the mindset of doing exactly what the programme told me to do. I would run when they told me too, even if it felt like I was running in treacle and not going anywhere.’
It took her a few weeks to understand how to manage her conditions while doing more exercise.
She says: ‘It took some planning to understand when to take painkillers and medication so it would kick in for the run because the first few weeks were hard.’
On the day, Tracie managed to complete the run in an impressive 36 minutes, wearing a wedding dress.
Now taking a rest after hurting her knee, she says she wants to continue once that has healed.
‘I find myself waking up and thinking “I really fancy a run today”. I don’t know how I became that person. Once my knee feels better I will get back out there,’ she says.
So far, Tracie has raised over £1,150. To donate to her fundraising, visit her GoFundMe page.
There are lots of little things we’ve missed during lockdown – a freshly poured pint, a meal in your favourite restaurant and a properly made coffee.
To celebrate the lifting of some lockdown restrictions and places reopening for customers to sit in (with social distancing in place), Costa is giving everyone a free drink or treat to enjoy.
From today, customers can get a drink of their choice as over 2,000 of their coffee shops reopen across the UK.
To get your free drink, you will need to register with the Costa Coffee Club mobile app but the offer is available to both new and existing customers.
Everyone will get 300 points, which is equivalent to £3, to spend on a tea, coffee or hot chocolate. If you don’t want a drink, it can be used on any food item to the value of £3.
Once you’ve activated the offer, you have 12 months to spend it so even if you aren’t feeling ready to go out yet, you’ll still get your free drink in the future.
Neil Lake, managing director of Costa Coffee UK&I, said: ‘We have been overwhelmed by the positive feedback from our customers as we begin to re-open our stores.
‘As we near our next key milestone of 2000+ store re-openings by the end of July, we’re delighted to treat Costa Coffee fans to a handcrafted drink, on us.
‘To ensure both our customers and team members are safe we have introduced some new measures across our estate, while also maintaining the warm environment that we know they have been missing.
‘We’re looking forward to welcoming everyone through our doors to enjoy their favourite Costa Coffee drink!’
From Monday 6 to Friday 31 July 2020, any new customer who downloads and registers with the Costa Coffee mobile app will receive 300 bonus points instantly (equivalent to £3) to spend in a Costa Coffee store or Costa Coffee drive-thru in the UK.
Any Coffee Club card customers just need to download the app and log in with their existing registered username and password.
Those already registered with the Costa Coffee mobile app will also receive a special thank you, with 300 bonus points being automatically added to their current points total by 6 July.
Natasha nursing both girls (Picture: PA Real Life)
Natasha Keane is still breastfeeding her youngest daughter Grace, even though she is ready to start school.
The mum-of-three is a breastfeeding advocate and she nursed her oldest daughter Ellie until she turned five and decided she wanted to stop.
Natasha, 38, from Galway, Ireland, practises natural stage weaning – where a child decides for themselves when to stop breastfeeding.
She says that she feels it has helped both Ellie, six, and Grace, four-and-a-half build strong immune systems as only one of them has ever been to the doctors with a bug.
Back when she was a first-time mum to son Adam at 19, she had to stop breastfeeding after a few months due to medication but at that time, she believed nursing after a year was ‘creepy’.
‘I wanted to do it for longer, but I was only 19 back then and didn’t think I could question my doctor,’ she said.
‘I cried so hard for about a week afterwards. Stephen struggled to take his bottle and it was very stressful.’
After meeting her husband Adam, 35, and falling pregnant with their first child together, she decided she wanted things to be different this time around.
Natasha tandem feeding Ellie and Grace (Picture: PA Real Life/Collect)
She vowed to be more prepared and joined a local breastfeeding group.
‘I walked into my first meeting, and saw a woman tandem feeding her three-year-old and 18-month-old, with one at each breast,’ she recalled.
‘My jaw hit the floor. I genuinely had no idea it was possible to feed children past the age of one – let alone two at the same time.
‘Instead of judging, I simply asked questions.’
She started to research other groups, speak to other mums and read articles about extended breastfeeding.
She also read on the NHS website that babies are passed valuable antibodies to help protect them against infection through their mother’s milk and discovered that the World Health Organization states that breastfeeding can continue for up to two years and beyond.
According to their recommendations – made together with UNICEF – children should start breastfeeding within an hour of being born and be exclusively nursed for six months, going on to be breastfed on demand then, from six months onwards, should begin eating safe and adequate foods, while continuing to take their mum’s milk.
Buoyed by her findings, Natasha became an advocate for natural stage weaning, saying: ‘There’s a saying in the community – ‘Don’t offer and don’t refuse.’
‘Putting that into practice with my girls meant that, while I wasn’t sitting them down like clockwork, offering them my milk, I wasn’t saying no if they asked.’
She started breastfeeding Ellie with no deadline in mind and when Grace was born two years later, she would tandem feed with one on each breast.
‘I tandem fed for two years,’ she said.
‘I was a little apprehensive at first about the practicalities of it all, but you find your own groove, and it gets easier the more you do it.
‘As Ellie was a little older by then, I could explain to her to be patient and let Grace latch on and settle in first.
‘Every single night, they would fall asleep without fail, one on each breast, holding hands.’
While Ellie stopped wanting to breastfeed just before she turned five, Grace continues to suckle once in the morning and once in the evening.
But Natasha still deals with negativity, which she blames on people’s miseducation, rather than on deliberate nastiness.
‘People see breastfeeding as fair game – something everyone is allowed to have an opinion on and criticise,’ she said. ‘I never would, as it is every mum’s choice, but I know if I said something about bottle feeding, it would be unacceptable.
‘I have received some difficult comments over the years. When Grace was just eight months old, I had somebody say to me that I should be force-feeding her into weaning by that point. I just thought, “What would you say if you knew I’m also feeding her older sister?”
‘I don’t think people are deliberately trying to shame me, or be evil, though. It’s a lack of education – even within the medical profession.
‘We have lactation specialists, but not many of them, and most doctors and nurses aren’t armed to the teeth with the same level of information. That’s how you end up with mums like I used to be, who don’t realise you can feed past a year, or think it’s wrong to.’
Natasha also thinks mums should be able to breastfeed in public.
Natasha, pictured here with her daughters Grace and Ellie, and the milk she donated (Picture: PA Real Life)
Natasha said: ‘I try not to let the comments and stares get to me, but I have been made to feel uncomfortable.
‘I find it such a huge double standard. It’s okay to put women in bikinis or lingerie on huge advertising billboards, but it’s not okay to let a mum to subtly feed her child?’
By sharing her story, Natasha, who says that her husband Adam is her biggest cheerleader and is fully supportive, hopes to normalise breastfeeding and reassure other mums that they do not have to stop before they are ready.
Also aware that some mums cannot breast feed, she wants to encourage them to find their local milk banks, where women can donate their own excess supply.
In the past, she has donated six litres, which went on to help 22 different premature babies, as well giving a stash to some mums she met through Facebook, who could not nurse themselves as they were having chemotherapy, but did not want to give their babies formula.
‘It’s up to every mum as an individual what they want to do, and I understand that some have tried and tried, but simply cannot breastfeed,’ she explained.
‘Because of the constant flow of oxytocin – known as the love hormone – breastfeeding is a great mood booster. I had postnatal depression with Stephen and Ellie, so thought it’d be written in stone that I would with Grace, but I didn’t.
‘Before you make a comment, educate yourself. If a mum ever mentions something to me that I don’t understand, I will keep my mouth shut, then go away and look it up.
‘Whether I agree or not is beside the point. It’s education that’s important.’
A little frog has made an unintentional journey travelling further than most humans have over recent months – more than 5,000 miles.
The exoitic tree frog was found in a bunch of bananas by supermarket staff in south Wales.
It’s believed the little fella – who is thought to be a Banana Tree Frog – survived the journey from Colombia to the UK by slowing down its metabolism.
After making the discovery, staff at the Asda on Murray Street in Llanelli contacted animal welfare charities and the RSPCA.
Staff at Asda found the creature in the bananas (Picture: PA)
But it seems the creature has been given a much-less exotic name, in honour of his rescuers.
The newly-named ‘Asda’ is now in safe hands at the specialist animal centre Silent World To You in Haverfordwest, Wales. The team has even put in a special order of crickets to ensure the tree frog is well-fed.
RSPCA inspector Gemma Cooper praised the staff behind his rescue and said she was ‘grateful’ to Asda employees for reaching out to the charity.
She said: ‘One team member spotted the frog, while another confined the frog and took him home. This quick thinking helped keep this frog safe.’
Gemma also explained how the frog survived the the journey without any food.
She said: ‘Frogs and other amphibians are so good at shutting down their bodies when they need to.
‘It seems highly likely that’s exactly what this frog did to survive this long journey without food.’
Asda the frog has made himself comfortable in a banana skin (Picture: PA)
Ginny Spenceley, an employee at the animal centre, says the amphibian is doing very well in his new setting and has made himself at home inside an banana skin.
She said: ‘Asda the frog is very small – with a body about the size of my thumb, but longer back legs. Of course, we don’t know if it is a baby or an adult.’
Not one single person other than family members or work had phoned, emailed, texted or FaceTimed me (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Being the home-loving sort, lockdown didn’t hold any particular fears for me at first.
I work part-time in a library and I’d always wanted more freedom to focus on writing, so I felt a twinge of anticipation at the prospect of having that. And who doesn’t like not having to get up at 6.30am every day?
As the weeks passed, however, TV reports were soon chastising people for ‘breaking lockdown rules’ in order to meet friends in metropolitan parks.
It was then I realised that, even if I wanted to, I had no one to break the rules with.
Not one single person other than family members or work had phoned, emailed, texted or FaceTimed me. There were none of these Zoom parties I kept hearing about on social media, with their walls of talking heads to have a communal laugh with.
It wasn’t a devastating discovery, as I’m really quite content with my lot, but it led me to wonder how I have ended up this way.
I get a lot of happiness from my relationship with my two sisters, one of whom is my absolute best friend, and I am quite self-contained with plenty of interests such as blogging and volunteering.
My husband and I love spending time together trying new recipes, going to the theatre and eating out, taking long country walks with a pub at the end and heading off on city breaks and holidays.
I get a lot of happiness from my relationship with my sisters (Picture: Katrina Robinson)
He definitely has friends, though like a lot of men they don’t communicate much apart from an annual get together. It’s not like he’s out all the time – pre-lockdown, anyway – so I’ve never felt pressured to do more with other people driven by comparing my social life with his.
As I’ve reflected over the past few months, I think that perhaps the ability to make friends is rooted in childhood experiences I missed out on. Both my sisters are much older than me and had left home by the time I was six, leaving me with elderly parents.
Isolation at an early age gave me a tendency to be wary of other people, making me a little edgy in company. I suspect people pick up on this and may be subconsciously pushed away by it.
Primary school gave me the sort of simple friendships that work in the playground, but secondary school was a much lonelier landscape. Although I did have what I thought of as a best friend at the time, we lost contact years ago; she stopped answering my letters, too busy, I think, with raising a family while I was happily child-free.
When any friend got pregnant I used to find myself thinking, ‘Bang goes another friendship!’ Of course I was pleased for them but in my experience, nine out of 10 friends with children gravitate towards other women with kids, and leave childless women out.
It’s not that I’m completely antisocial. I went out a lot at university and loved it. My single years were busy with loads of meet-ups, a job with plenty of interaction, and a local film club, which I helped to run. But having a social life isn’t the same as close friendships.
My husband and I love spending time together (Picture: Katrina Robinson)
I also recognise that getting married four years ago made me lose energy for social life, content instead to retreat into a mutually enjoyable domesticity.
I don’t feel lonely, and I’ve always felt I’ve had enough for my needs. But I do fear missing out on what external evidence tells me is one of life’s real blessings: the chance to share laughs and losses with other human beings.
I’ve heard it can be harder to make friends as you get older but I’m grateful for the fact I’ve had the chance at least to reassess where I am and how I got here.
As lockdown eases and finally ends, I would like to use the freedom it provides to make a bit more effort.
I am keen to get more involved in a church I used to go to, and to reconnect with some past acquaintances. It would be fun to invite people I’d like to know better to dinner at our house. If I meet someone new that I get on with, the really important thing will be for me to follow up – suggest going for a coffee, a drink or to see a film, any situation where you can chat on a deeper level.
If people don’t want to be friends, I won’t fret or try to force it. But I do realise other people (and I, in the past) get a lot out of, and give a lot to, friendships.
So, in my ‘new normal’, I am going to aim to be a bit more open, a bit more ready to extend casual conversations into something more intimate, and a bit less lazy when it comes to going out – and inviting others in.
We can almost taste the Peri Peri (Picture: Nandos/Getty/Metro.co.uk)
The wait is almost over for Nando’s fans.
The chicken chain has announced when it will reopen for customers to dine in.
Nando’s has revealed it will be back in business on Wednesday 8 July – but only at a handful of branches.
A statement on the website reads: ‘There’s only a small number to begin with, but stay tuned, we’ll be adding more to the list from late July.
‘To make sure it’s as safe as possible for you to enjoy PERi-PERi with us, we’ve made some changes to our style in line with government guidelines and social distancing.’
Those looking to get the full sit-down experience will be able to at the following branches: Beckton, Birmingham – Bullring, Bluewater – Winter Garden, Bolton, Bromley – St Mark’s Square, Leeds – J27, Liverpool ONE, Manchester – Trafford Centre, Park Royal and Westfield London.
But restaurants will look a little different, as various measures will be in place to protect staff and customers from coronavirus.
For example, there will be no queuing outside the restaurant – instead visitors will receive a QR code, which can be scanned on arrival, and a message will alert them when a table is ready.
The restaurants will also be cashless and social distancing will be implemented in both the dining spaces and the kitchens. There will also be a limited menu, due to the reduced staff.
To limit the number of people walking around the restaurant, staff will come to the table – instead of the traditional queue-up format. Not to mention, hand sanitiser will be widely available at the venues.
Of course, Nando’s has been offering delivery for the past couple of months. It’s worth pointing out that this is still very much an option at a number of branches – so people who are not ready to leave the house yet will be able to eat their favourite Nando’s dishes at home.
Nando's branches reopening for customers to dine-in on 8 July:
The multi-sensory experience includes a visit to King Triton’s kingdom (Picture: Getty/Moviestore/REX)
Are you ready to go floating under the sea?
Disney fans are in for a treat with the announcement that a new pop-up is coming to London, which it’s themed entirely around The Little Mermaid.
The multi-sensory theatrical experience is hosted both above and below the sea.
You will get to visit King Triton’s vast kingdom, where merpeople will offer you cocktails of an oceanic variety (it’s just a guess, but they’ll probably be a tad salty).
Or explore the smuggler’s passage, which will lead to secret coral reefs where merpeople will soothe your soul with songs.
If you dare, you can also pay a visit to the sneaky Sea Witch, but don’t make any dirty deals with her.
The bar launches on 17 September in a secret London location and humans can purchase tickets at £45 per person – which includes entry and three cocktails.
A series of underwater-themed cocktails will be on offer (Pics: Fever)
Each session lasts for 90 minutes and has been designed with social distancing in place, with hand sanitiser stations, cash-less payments and mandatory temperature checks.
‘Relive the centuries-old fairytale as you witness the human world collide with ocean life in a theatrical cocktail experience,’ the description reads on the website.
‘Meet fellow seafarers on the shores of a stormy sea before diving deep down into a secret underwater cave, where you’ll find walls of coral and pearls that glimmer as the water passes.
‘Will you drink the nefarious sea witch’s draught?
‘Surrounded by stunning decor, talented actors and secrets to be uncovered, get ready to discover the mysteries hidden beneath the surface!’
And it goes without saying: Disney tunes from the film and other tunes from the deep will be played throughout the night.
Sing along and keep your eyes out for creatures of the sea.
What will history say about this time? (Picture: Getty)
The coronavirus pandemic has so far tragically claimed the lives of 44,200 people in the UK, and caused over half a million deaths worldwide.
Not only has the virus robbed us of loved ones, but also of our freedom, while separating us from family, friends and colleagues.
This dark time will undoubtedly feature in history books to come, but what will these say?
Well, part of that is up to you.
The Museum of London has launched an initiative known as Collecting Covid – which aims to ‘keep a record and ensure future generations of Londoners will be able to learn about and understand this extraordinary period’.
As part of the project, the organisers are asking people in the capital to donate physical or digital items for consideration, as well as share their personal stories.
The museum is especially focused on collecting articles that link to how spaces have been transformed in lockdown, the social and working lives of people who are now working online and how the pandemic has affected key and home workers, children and young people.
This isn’t the first time there has been a collection for an outbreak of this kind – the museum also has collections linked to the smallpox (1889-1893) and flu (1918) epidemics.
Queen Victoria has even donated an item back in the day; the dress she wore to the funeral of her grandson, who died of influenza in 1892.
Many people have already shared their lockdown experiences and sent in goods, but the call-out is still open.
Fancy taking part?
To donate, you can either email the museum or drop a message on its social media channels.
The hospital image has been withdrawn from the four available (Picture: Vogue Portugal)
Vogue Portugal has pulled one of the four covers for their upcoming July/August 2020 issue following criticism for how it depicts mental illness and pyschiatric hospitals.
The magazine was accused of stereotyping when the image of a woman naked in a bathtub, having water poured over her by two women in old-fashioned nurse uniforms was released last week.
On an Instagram post, the magazine revealed the image would be one of four for what they called ‘The Madness Issue’.
Many commented on the post saying the image was ‘bad taste’ and adding that they found it offensive.
Others flagged that it was focusing on outdated troupes of psychiatric hospitals with the sterile environment and nurses costumes when modern mental health units can be very different,
The cover which has now been removed (Picture: Vogue Portugal)
Initially, Vogue Portugal posted a statement explaining that the cover portrays a hospital scene where the model is by her real life mother and grandmother, shot by photographer Branislav Simoncik.
The statement added: ‘Our intention is to open up the topic of mental health, and bring to the discussion the institutions, the science and the people that are involved with mental health today.
‘The cover story explores the historical context of mental health and is designed to reflect real-life and authentic stories, inspired by deep research of hundreds of reportage photographs from some of the most relevant and famous documentarists who have captured mental health hospitals. Inside the issue, features interviews and contributions from psychiatrists, sociologists, psychologists and other experts in the field.’
But today (Monday 6 July), they added another statement saying they had made the decision to withdraw the hospital image.
The post said: ‘On such an important issue such as mental health we cannot be divided. Vogue Portugal has taken the decision to pull one of the four covers of our July/August issue, which depicts a scene of a psychiatric hospital as well as the inside cover story based around the topic of mental health.
‘Vogue Portugal deeply apologises for any offence or upset caused by this photo shoot. On reflection, we realise that the subject of mental health needs a more thoughtful approach. We sincerely apologise for this.’
The issue will go on sale with just the three remaining covers available instead.
But it seems there’s a new alliance that we cannot get enough of – a bunch of rescue chicks have become best friends with an adorable Labrador.
The group of partridge chicks – who had become separated from their mother – were found by farm worker Jadene Moloy.
Best buds (Picture: Jadene Maloy/SPLITPICS UK)
Ruby wanted to make sure the chicks were warm (Picture: Jadene Maloy/SPLITPICS UK)
She quickly put them in a box to protect them from predators – but her five-year-old dog Ruby played her part, too.
The Labrador acted as babysitter for the little birds and the group soon struck up a lovely friendship.
Owner Jadene said Ruby even went as far as to get inside the box with the chicks, so they could snuggle up to her for warmth.
Jadene said: ‘I boxed them up and took them back to our tea hut where Ruby met and fell in love with them. She climbed into the cardboard box and the chicks nestled up into her fur. She was obsessed.’
The animals formed such a bond that some heartwarming photos show the chicks posing comfortably on the canine’s head.
Around 1,000 jobs are at risk due to the closures, with cuts expected to be made before the end of the year – as Pret reported that its sales were down 74 per cent compared with this time last year.
Chief Executive Pano Christou said: ‘It’s a sad day for the whole Pret family, and I’m devastated that we will be losing so many employees. These decisions are not a reflection on anyone’s work or commitment. But we must make these changes to succeed in the new retail environment.
‘Our goal now is to bring Pret to more people, through different channels and in new ways so that we can continue to provide great jobs and opportunities to our remaining employees.’
Just which branches of the chain will be closing for good?
The following branches of Pret will not be reopening:
Pret’s sales have fallen by 74 per cent compared to this time last year (Picture: Reuters)
St George University Kiosk
421 Strand
Wood Street
59 High Street Worcester
Heathrow Terminal 3 landside
Albert St, Nottingham
Lion Yard, Cambridge
109 Fleet Street, London
Fargate, Sheffield
High Street, Uxbridge
Broad Street, Reading
High Wycombe
Strutton Ground
Metrocentre, Gateshead
Queensgate Centre, Peterborough
Shandwick Place, Edinburgh
Centre Point
East Street, Chichester
Glasgow Fort Shopping Centre
Warwick Way
Gallowtree Gate, Leicester
Shrewsbury
Lakeside
Byward Street
Southwark, The Cut
Capitol Centre, Cardiff
Grainger Street, Newcastle
Stratford-Upon-Avon
Chapelfield, Norwich
41 Piccadilly
Pret is the latest high street food chain to announce closures, with others hit by the pandemic including Bella Italia, Cafe Rouge and Las Iguanas – who recently announced they will not reopen 91 of their 250 restaurants.
It is apparently not a hoax (Picture: Lee James Allen)
Support (read: sex) bubbles might become obsolete, as one man is on a mission to provide pandemic-safe sex for all – with the help of an unusual product.
Introducing: the socially distanced strap-on, a one-metre sex toy.
Are we terrified of this monstrosity of a dildo? A little bit.
Is it all a hoax? Not according to its creator.
To find out more about the fundraiser, which aims to secure £5,000 for a prototype (it has £2 in donations so far), we spoke to Lee James Allen, 27, the mastermind behind the lockdown-inspired limb.
‘The idea came to me a month back as the government began easing lockdown measures,’ he says.
‘I was speaking to some single friends about their dating situations, laughing about how a sexual relationship might work while social distancing – and then the idea hit me, a metre-long strap-on, which could solve all of the world’s ills.’
When asked whether the skin-coloured shaft, which includes veins, is a gag gift or intended for real use in the bedroom, he says it is ‘somewhere in the middle’.
He adds: ‘It’s undoubtedly a bit of fun but we will ensure the product is well-made in the event it’s used for real.
‘The £5000 will go towards a prototype and an initial product run – the product will be based on an existing strap-on so we’re not having to reinvent the wheel completely, we’re merely lengthening it.’
That’s one hell of a shaft (Picture: Lee James Allen)
None of these items belong in your vagina or anus (Picture: Lee James Allen)
There are safety issues with a dildo of this length, but James says that prospective customers will be recommended to maintain their distance – and not penetrate too deep.
He explains: ‘I’ve spoken to some people within the industry regarding the safest materials to use, and the product will be made from ultra-flexible silicone so it shouldn’t penetrate too far too easily – and we’d strongly recommend limiting the degree of penetration where possible, in order to maintain safe social distancing.’
To showcase the incredible length of the dildo, it is compared to a can of Pringles, a Sky remote and a banana – but we can’t say this enough; don’t shove any of these particular items into your vagina.
The vaginal canal is around three to four inches long when you’re turned on – while it can stretch slightly, one metre is not doable, and can be downright dangerous.
Your anus is also not a suitable orifice for this type of toy.
Is it safe to use a one-metre dildo?
‘I’m extremely concerned and disturbed to hear of this,’ Dr Shirin Lakhani, from Elite Aesthetics, tells us.
‘While everyone is unique and with that, everyone has unique preferences when it comes to providing pleasure, there are of course limits.
‘The extreme size of this can cause irreparable damage to whichever passage it is inserted into.
‘The consequences of excessive stretching can have a severe impact on the body. In the worst case scenario something of this size could cause perforation and even death.
‘In less extreme outcomes, anal stretching can result in anal incontinence (the inability to control bowel movements) while excessive stretching of the vagina to this size can result in prolapse.’
This isn’t the first peculiar product idea that James, who is based in Surbiton, has had.
In December last year, he launched a website called South Western Fail, poking fun at South Western Rail’s ‘abysmal’ service by selling items including ‘Not so Instant Noodles’, ‘Worst Class Stamps’, ‘Delaynoaise’ and ‘SWF Congestion Relief’.
The cards have messages put together by people at the charity to better fit the experience of being diagnosed with cancer.
The range features nine cards with different messages of support and personalised designs.
Each card starts at £1.25, with 5p of every card sold donated to Macmillan Cancer Support, to help the charity provide emotional, practical and financial support for people living with cancer, now and in the future.
Some focus on simple messages (Picture: Snapfish)
Others aim to make people laugh (Picture: Snapfish)
Designs include a picture with the message ‘You’re amazing (with or without hair)’ and one which says ‘You’re still you (and I still love you)’.
Another features the stages of the moon and a message saying ‘one day at a time’.
Some of the cards can be personalised (Picture: Snapfish)
They were designed with input from the charity (Picture: Snapfish)
A portion of each one sold will go to the charity (Picture: Snapfish)
One card has two coffee mugs and the message ‘I’m with you’ in a nod to Macmillan’s coffee morning event, which takes place in September.
Other cards aim to raise a laugh with a picture of a dog with some soapy water saying ‘You do you and I’ll do the dishes’.
Each one has a message on the back which says ‘This is a card to say I am thinking of you’.
The company has previously worked with the charity to raise funds by donating a portion of sales on certain products but this is the first time they have created a range of cards specifically to send to people living with cancer.
I began at 7:30am and finally finished at midnight (Picture: Jake McPherson SWNS)
After three months away, it was incredibly strange opening up at the pub where I do shifts. As I set up with my colleague Sammy, we both felt really anxious about whether customers would be happy to socially distance, and whether we’d even know what to say to them if they weren’t.
In the past, July and August have always been the busiest months at the pub where I work in Surrey. And on Saturday, as I carried out my first shift since March, it rivalled any of those days.
I began at 7:30am and finally finished at midnight, without stopping for a break or even to go to the loo (although I was entitled to to do both!). It was incredibly hectic, hot and sweaty.
The team served 230 people on Saturday and around 200 on Sunday – and that was at reduced capacity. We put half the tables outside and sat guests at every other table inside.
It was also bookings only, and my boss told me that over the course of the weekend we turned away at least 200 people as there just wasn’t room.
Before lockdown, we would have let customers stay seated for several hours; now we had two lunch sittings and two at dinner, and guests only had two and a half hours before they had to leave.
I also hadn’t had to communicate with people for months, so it felt really strange. The pub owners had furloughed all the staff at the start of the pandemic, and I had been living at home with my sister and really only seeing her.
Going from speaking to practically no one to talking to hundreds of people in one day felt bizarre, but after the first couple of tables I slipped back into it.
From the off, our customers were clearly excited to be able to drink alcohol. The first couple who came in asked what time we were serving from and the gentleman told me he ‘really needed a draught beer’. Another table was ordering Prosecco by 10am.
They definitely weren’t the only ones – the pub was filled with a really strong celebratory atmosphere and there was a noticeable demand for extravagant drinks, including Champagne. In the evening we sold a lot more tequila shots than we ever normally do.
As reports on the news started to come in about drunk people being out of control and getting into fights, it really surprised me. We had a handful of people on both days that were drinking heavily and went a bit overboard, but they were harmless and left as soon as we asked them to.
Most people just seemed really happy to be out – one couple told me they were enjoying not eating another takeaway, or having to clean up after themselves.
Everyone was in a brilliant mood. A technical hitch with our ordering system meant that some ended up waiting quite a while to be served, but no one complained – something that would never have happened before coronavirus.
People forget that lots of pubs have taken this seriously and put precautions in place
Despite my concerns before I started my shift, everyone was more than happy to keep to social distancing measures. A few arrived wearing masks but discarded them soon after when they realised no one else was wearing them. Personally, it felt like a huge relief that I was able to make my customers feel comfortable and secure enough to take them off.
We had gloves available to use if people wanted us to, and in the two weeks before opening, the pub owners had an app built so customers could get served without going to the bar.
I was surprised that hardly any of them used it – most people were keen to come up and order, or to have a chat with me and my colleagues at their tables. I think everyone wanted that sense of normality back after so long.
I must admit that at first I felt cautious – but then everyone is when it comes to coronavirus. However, as the hours flew by I became more and more confident and felt completely safe.
It probably helps that I’m 21, don’t have any underlying health issues and none of my family are high risk either. I also took precautions all day, washing my hands between serving each table and using the hand sanitiser the pub provided, even if it meant my skin was cracked and sore by the end of my shift.
It had been so busy that my feet were in agony, despite wearing comfortable trainers. It was all I could do not to crawl up the stairs and slide back down them.
The pub is open permanently from now on and I am so happy to be back at work. The owners furloughed all the staff at the beginning of lockdown but managed to keep all of our jobs. While I tried not to take the time off for granted, there came a point where I just wanted to have something to do.
I also missed my colleagues. We had grown really close over the course of last year, especially at Christmas, and it was hard to be apart during lockdown. Being back together over the weekend was amazing, and we were all buzzing off one another and helping each other out.
I finished college a year ago and I had been planning on going traveling, but coronavirus meant I had to cancel my plans. I’ve decided to stay at the pub and try and work my way up instead.
I’m exhausted today but I am really looking forward to my next shift this week. During lockdown, the pub did online grocery shops for anyone who was shielding and it became a real focal point of the community. I really felt that sense of unity over the weekend we’ve just had.
There’s been too much of a focus on the negative aspects of the pubs reopening, which is misleading. People forget that lots of establishments have taken this seriously and put precautions in place.
That’s why I’d say to anyone, please don’t be afraid to go into a pub. Us employees are all learning and trying our very best, too. It is possible to have a safe and joyful time.
Misha and Cade in hospital, and now (Picture: Misha Clarke)
After a normal first pregnancy, Misha Clarke’s waters broke 13 days before her due date.
There were no signs she was going to have a difficult birth – but it took two days of labour before her baby was born, leaving her with a third-degree tear that took months to heal and still causes her some pain now.
Misha, 21, from Cumbria, wants to speak out to show talking about vaginal tearing shouldn’t be taboo and to let mums-to-be know that there are things to do to reduce the risk of it happening.
While there’s no guaranteed way to prevent tearing during delivery, there are preventative methods, such as regular perineal massage, which should be carried out from week 34 of pregnancy onwards, at least three times a week.
Misha tells Metro.co.uk: ‘I want to help educate other women on what they can do to prevent tearing during childbirth and help them to understand that what they might experience isn’t something to be ashamed or embarrassed about.
‘The underlying issue is that women aren’t properly educated about their own bodies or what they might go through physically both during and after childbirth.
‘I understand that many women feel uncomfortable discussing intimate issues, such as perineal trauma, and so I want to put myself out there to help break down that taboo. If I’d had read a story like mine a few years ago, I’d have felt far less scared and alone going through these experiences as a first-time mum.’
Misha in hospital after Cade was born (Picture: Misha Clarke)
Misha fell pregnant back in October 2017 and says her pregnancy was normal with just a little morning sickness and heart burn occasionally bothering her.
She was preparing to give birth in early August 2018 but on 24 July, 13 days before her due date, her waters broke.
She headed to her local hospital to be examined and although she was already experiencing contractions, she wasn’t dialted enough.
Over the next two days, she kept heading back and going home as her labour was not progressing.
Evenutally, she was admitted and induced as they needed to move labour along.
She was also given an epidural to reduce the pain.
Eventually, over 40 hours after her waters broke, she started to push but again it was slow to progress.
She says: ‘I was pushing and pushing and getting really exhausted. It went on for like an hour and 20 minutes. Because I had an epidural, I didn’t feel the tear at the time and then our baby Cain arrived and we were so overwhelmed.
‘But when they went to examine me, they said there was a tear and the midwife tried to stitch it up but couldn’t, so she got a more senior midwife but she couldn’t and they had to call a doctor.’
Misha and son Cade (Picture: Misha Clarke)
The doctor told her that she had a third-degree tear, meaning it had ripped right through her vaginal wall, through the perineum (the area between the anus and vulva) and to the anal sphincter (the muscle that controls the anus).
She also suffered deep lacerations to the inside of the vaginal wall, periurethral tears (at the top of the vagina, near the urethra) and her labia tore
Misha says: ‘They had to put surgical gowns on and give me anaestheic and it took about an hour to stitch up.
‘My partner was holding the baby with skin and skin, while my mum held my hand. It was quite uncomfortable.’
In total, she needed seven stitches to repair the perineum and although the procedure went well, she was in a lot of pain for the first few months of motherhood.
She says: ‘I never imagined the pain there would be afterwards. It was just this horrible burning. I could barely sit down and it was uncomfortable to walk. It would only stop hurting when I stood still.
‘I was trying to breastfeed and it was hard to sit with him. I bought a pillow to try and take the pressure off.
‘It was about three months before it started to ease but I do still get some pain there now, even nearly two years later.
‘It was a hard a recovery but I tried not to let it take away from welcoming my son – I would think it was worth it to have him.’
Misha, her children Cade and Aurora, and her fiancé now (Picture: Misha Clarke)
Although Misha had researched tearing before giving birth and knew about perineal massage, she wasn’t fully aware of its importance. She struggled to do it herself at 34 weeks and her partner worked away six days a week but she says she would have tried harder to do it if she had understood.
She now wants to raise awareness for other women as she feels that many still struggle to talk about it.
Misha has joined forces with My Expert Midwife as part of their #PowerToThePerineum campaign, which aims to educate and empower women to have a more positive birth experience.
However, research shows that perineal massage from 34 weeks can be effective at reducing the extent of tearing during childbirth.
After various clinical studies, the NHS recommends the practice as it gradually softens and stretches the vagina and area around it in preparation for birth.
Misha says: ‘I didn’t know how much perineal massage could help before I gave birth. If I had known that, I would have given it a shot and could have had less of a tear.
‘It’s important for women to know the ins and outs of it. It is a taboo subject but giving birth is something that happens to lots of women and it shouldn’t be sugarcoated. We should be talking about it rawly so women know what to expect and what they can do.’
Misha gave birth to her second child Aurora eight months ago and although she went through another long labour and tear, she says it was not as bad and the recovery was much better.
To find out more information about perineal massage or the #PowerToThePerineum campaign, visit their website or join the conversation online on Instagram @my_expertmidwife and Facebook @myexpertmidwife.
