We might be face masked up and ready for some socially distant activities, but attempts to stay away from Bad Germs while outside could be threatened once you reach a public door.
How to open this germ-riddled slab of metal that gets touched by passersby aplenty?
You could opt for the kick and shuffle (works best for push doors), but what about door handles that need to be pulled to open?
Sure you can douse your hands in sanitiser after pulling them to open, but even that gets taxing.
Enter the no-touch keyring. As technology and craftsmanship evolves in accordance with the modern-day plague (Zoom was just an onomatopoeia before all this), we are seeing plenty of new concepts.
The no-touch keyring is one such device that’s being utilised to avoid touching door handles and in turn limit being in contact with germs.
And it’s not just for door handles, it can also be used on ATM machines, to press buttons on ticket machines, self-checkout scans, lifts and more.
All you need to do is put your fingers through one side and use the end of it to pull the door open – either insert the handle through the end of the keyring and pull or for a larger handle, use the open end of the keyring and pull.
Here are some of the best (and quirkiest) key chains we’ve seen:
A new cookbook that features traditional comfort food from ethnic minority communities, and aims to raise money for those disproportionately impacted by the pandemic.
All profits from the Community Comfort e-book will go to those directly and disproportionately affected by Covid-19 – Black people and other ethnic minorities.
The book was curated by cookbook author and activist, Riaz Phillips and features recipes from stars of the UK hospitality industry such as James Cochran, Ravneet Gill, Vivek Singh, Benjamina Ebuihi, Romy Gill.
Every recipe is accompanied by an anecdote from each contributor on why they’ve chosen the dish and what makes it comforting to them.
‘I noticed many people like myself were turning to their heritage comfort food for a number of reasons, be it using the new found time to educate themselves on their own heritage, or as a means of escapism,’ Riaz tells Metro.co.uk.
‘For us a migrants or children of migrants, food is one of the ways that many of our communities unite. Be that at home, special occasions or the growing number of food shops and spaces in public.
Riaz is passionate about food being a source of comfort and healing (Picture: Community Comfort)
‘Food is one of the ways we can connect and then display our culture to a wider community.’
The first six doctors to die from the virus were from Black and Asian minority backgrounds and the government enquiry showed that Black people were four times more likely to die of Covid-19 compared to white Brits, and other ethnic minorities were between 10-50% more likely to suffer from Covid-19.
‘In this time of disarray, and when we can’t break bread with our loved ones, I wanted to do something which brought joy to as many people as possible,’ adds Riaz.
‘Food and recipes are how we connect, heal and mourn but also celebrate when things get better too. For people in our communities, food is our colour when our voices don’t always get heard, so I gathered all these recipes in hope that they might speak to people and bring them some comfort whilst contributing something.’
Launched alongside Windrush campaigner Patrick Vernon, and named for the Swahili word for sorrow, The Majonzi Fund, raises money to help those families COVID-19 has touched in the Black and Ethnic minority community, from funeral arrangements to bereavement counsellors and therapists.
But beyond raising vital funds for this cause, Riaz hopes the e-cookbook will be the start of more inclusiveness and variety when it comes to food writing and broadcasting.
‘It would be great to diversify food spaces more and start to represent fully the amazing array of foods and communities that have been supporting this country for so long,’ adds Riaz.
Guys, you might want to think twice about taking a shirtless snap for your profile (Picture: Getty)
According to a new study, 90% of men think flashing their flesh on dating apps is more likely to boost their chances.
However, it seems the exact opposite is the case.
A survey by Dating.com found that men who use a topless photo on their profile actually get 25% fewer matches than those who don’t.
The study interviewed 2,000 random users across the company’s dating apps, before comparing them with gathered data.
Results showed that while men thought posing topless was a good idea, a staggering 66% of women said they found shirtless pictures immature.
In addition to this, 79% of women said it’s unlikely they would date a man who had a shirtless selfie on his profile. However, 15% did say they would be open to a hookup, and 9% would consider a friendship.
One takeaway from the study is that this was not the case if the situation was reversed.
Research found women who had bikini pictures on their profiles were 40% more likely to get matches.
It’s worth pointing out that the study doesn’t specify whether this dislike for topless photos is also the case for LGBTQ+ men.
However, the study did note that the LGBTQ+ community are four times more likely to include a shirtless picture on their dating profile.
Some of the models they’ve used so far (Picture: The underargument)
When it comes to buying new clothes, you’re probably used to seeing models with a particular type of body.
Although the industry is changing and realising that we want to see a more diverse range of people, there is still some way to go.
But one lingerie brand has decided to choose the models for their products simply based on their stories.
The underargument recruits models who don’t have to have any experience and the brand makes their choice without seeing any pictures or asking for measurements.
Each piece features an empowering quote (Picture: The Underargument)
The company was set up by Maïna Cissé in 2015 as a site to share inclusive stories and create empowering lingerie, with each one named and labelled with a quote.
The brand name comes from the combination of ‘undergarment’ and ‘argument’.
The team don’t see the models until shoot day (Picture: The Underargument)
With that in mind, Maïna decided she wanted to hold an ‘anti-casting’, only meeting the models for the first time on shoot day as she says did not want her model choices to be tokenistic.
Each collection is based around a theme advocating an argument against the norm and they ask people to submit their story based around those ideas, choosing who to feature solely from those words.
They are selected purely on what they write (Picture: The underargument)
You can read all the stories of their current models on their website.
Previous themes have included ‘for awesome/against perfection’, ‘for identity/against stereotypes’, ‘for love/against oblivious’, ‘for sexy/against sexism’ ‘for loving/against conforming’.
Maïna said: ‘These underarguments come to life through the collections but also through the stories of the women who vulnerably volunteer to share their life experience and shoot with us.
The idea is called ‘anti-casting’ (Picture: The underargument)
‘All the women shown on the site have been selected for the story they chose to share with us, we select these before we know what the women look like (we only meet them on shoot day) and without asking for their size.
‘Lingerie used to and still has an empowering and therapeutic effect on me. I’m hoping that the underargument, both through the lingerie and the content shared, will take you on a journey that will have the same beneficial effects on you.
‘I hope that through embracing your individuality, you find and fulfil your purpose because the world needs your unique gifts to become a better place.’
Currently the pieces are available in sizes 28B to 38E and 6-16, but they hope to add more as the brand grows.
If you are interested in modelling for the brand, you can apply with your story on their website.
Coronavirus has been horrendous for dementia patients (Picture: Inga Kjer/Photothek via Getty Images)
When dementia carers first went to John’s* house last year, they discovered that the walls of his home, adorned with photos of him and his wife in fancy dress on cruises and at parties, demonstrated that a life once rich and colourful had suddenly become smaller.
It was his GP who had first flagged John’s situation to Trent Dementia, a small East Midlands-based charity of which I am the chair, saying that he was at risk of loneliness and becoming isolated, and needed our help.
He told us that John had been finding it increasingly difficult to get outside and meet other people after becoming widowed, and he had very little local support as his children lived overseas and he rarely saw his neighbours.
When our project workers visited him, John agreed to come along to one of our social meet-ups – on the condition that he could give them a dancing lesson. Naturally, they were delighted to take him up on the offer. From that moment on, he became a regular fixture of our meetings and his life began to open up again as he made new friends and joined our gardening club.
But then Covid-19 hit, and the UK went into lockdown.
Coronavirus has been horrendous for dementia patients and the number of recent deaths among those living with the disease has been harrowing. In the first two months of the outbreak, more than double the number of people with dementia died, compared to previous years.
That’s an additional 13,000 lives lost, totalling over 25,000 deaths, according to the Office of National Statistics (ONS).
Of the extra deaths, 8,570 were confirmed as being from Covid-19 and of the remaining 5,290, it’s likely that a significant number suffered from not having visitors due to lockdown.
The majority of the UK’s dementia patients (around 60%) are, like John, based at home and they are at risk of being forgotten, especially as some are continuing to shield if they also have problems with their physical health. Others might be able to go out and about, but will have difficulty understanding social distancing and other public health restrictions.
Many of the groups that cater for people with dementia, like Singing for the Brain or memory cafés, have simply stopped, and we don’t know when they can restart.
Memory assessment clinics, which diagnose people, have also temporarily closed and now have a massive backlog of referrals waiting to be seen (probably several thousand people).
Fortunately, within the first week of lockdown, our charity was able to turn our face-to-face groups into virtual ones, with multiple online meet-ups every week for around 50 individuals – including John.
It’s easy to feel that there’s little point in engaging with a relative when it can be muddled or frustrating, but if you’re willing not to correct or argue with them and go with the flow, there are real benefits
As a dance enthusiast, he has taught everyone how to hand-jive via Zoom, but the charity has done all sorts – from sending out seed packets to grow and air drying clay for crafting, to organising ‘virtual walks’ where participants make short films of their trips into nature.
For an hour or so each week, people like John are able to put their condition to one side and get lost in a hobby that they love, or become engaged in a conversation with new friends. Who wouldn’t enjoy that?
That’s why friends and family should do whatever they can to stay in touch with relatives with dementia during the pandemic, even when it’s not possible to meet up in person.
We’re all given a lift – especially in these trying times – by chatting to our loved ones, and those living with this disease are no different.
Socialising is unlikely to halt a progressive illness, but its main impact is on quality of life. Losing contact with people can cause the mental and physical health of those with the condition to severely deteriorate.
Carers we work with have been delighted to see a spark of the person they love being relit, and we’ve had comments like, ‘Wow, he’s been outside taking photos on his mobile for ages, to share a virtual walk with the group!’
As lockdown slowly lifts, restarting the various face-to-face groups for people with dementia will take some time, to make sure that the places where they happen are suitably prepared, in terms of things like distance and hand sanitiser.
In the meantime, try not to make assumptions about dementia patients’ abilities. We’ve been delighted at how receptive and adaptive patients we work with have been when it comes to new technology. With a bit of help setting up, you might just be surprised at how readily they take to Zoom, Skype or WhatsApp video calls.
And of course this is particularly useful if they are at high risk from Covid-19, or live far away.
Things are uncertain about the future, but we must keep checking in – both to make sure they have everything they need, but also for that vital human connection. It’s easy to feel that there’s little point in engaging with a relative when it can be muddled or frustrating, but if you’re willing not to correct or argue with them and go with the flow, there are real benefits.
When you think back to past conversations with anyone in your life, you probably don’t remember the details of what was said anyway. What lingers is the emotional tone – that you smiled, laughed or came away feeling warmer about that person.
These are all crucial for helping someone living with dementia to engage meaningfully in the world.
Social contact has always been a key ingredient for helping people with this condition retain a high quality of life, and this need hasn’t gone away.
It’s never been more important to make sure that no corner of society is left forgotten – especially when such a small amount of effort can have such a big impact. ·
For more information on Trent Dementia or to donate, visit the charity’s website.
Do you have a story that you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Rosy.Edwards@Metro.co.uk.
Happy in the knowledge that I’m still a Pisces (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
You’ve probably read the news this week that there’s a ‘new’ star sign, changing the dates and potentially rendering the ‘old’ zodiac moot.
Everyone from Denise Welch to Lorraine Kelly expressed annoyance at the revelation, worrying that the advent of Ophiuchus would screw up the way they saw themselves in relation to the stars.
I’m here to tell you, though, you don’t need to acknowledge Ophiuchus – and it’s certainly not anything new.
Ophiuchus – which is supposed to apply to those born between 29 November and 18 December – is a constellation that resembles a serpent. It’s been common knowledge since the times of Ancient Greece.
NASA don’t appear to have announced anything new in relation to the constellation, so it’s unclear where these announcements stemmed from specifically, but it appears to be an issue that crops up every few years or so.
It’s important to know that – while many people believe in horoscopes and they’re based in astronomical principles – astrology is considered a pseudoscience.
NASA has a website for children called Space Place that does mention astrology, but otherwise have no stake in astrological practices beyond discovering new stars and planets if they have not yet been discovered.
Questioning your belief systems? Don’t (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
And, to reiterate, the constellation Ophiuchus was discovered thousands of years ago.
Then we need to look at how we got the zodiac (set of 12 star signs) used today.
The zodiac that we most commonly associate with horoscopes here in the western world is the tropical zodiac, which is fixed around the seasons.
There are 88 constellations recognised by the International Astronomy Union. The signs of the tropical zodiac are named after twelve of these, based on the constellations that go through a path called the ecliptic.
If you imagine a hypothetical ‘line’ that starts at the earth, points to the sun, then extends out into space, this gives a basic idea of the ecliptic. As the earth orbits the sun, this line moves through different constellations.
You are not an Ophiuchus – I promise (Picture: Getty)
But not every constellation in this ecliptic is included in the tropical zodiac. The Babylonians initially split the year into 12 based on the twelve phases on the moon, which is where the twelve signs originated around the time of Ptolemy.
There are obvious holes in this 12 sign system. Firstly, Ophiuchus and Cetus are among two other constellations that could be included in the zodiac based on this, as they pass through the ecliptic in the same way Aries or Aquarius do.
Also, the constellations are all different sizes, so the sun would be in different signs for different lengths of time all things considered.
There are types of astrology that recognise this, incorporating up to 27 signs sometimes, and changing up the dates based on how the earth wobbles on its axis as well as other factors.
However, our tropical zodiac stays the same, as it’s not based on this, but was split into 12 in relation to the moon.
So unless you follow a different form of astrology (which you’ll really need to do more research on because it’s even more convoluted and complicated than this), nothing changes for you.
If Mystic Meg hasn’t yet resorted to adding Ophiuchus, you certainly don’t need to either.
From viewing properties through to getting a mortgage through to all the schemes available to those looking to get on the property ladder – who can also now benefit from a stamp duty holiday – it can be confusing trying to get round all the help and advice that’s available.
Ultimately though, the process of buying a home remains the same – so just what does buying a property in the UK entail?
Here’s everything you need to know if you’re planning a purchase…
What’s the process for buying a house in the UK?
You might already be dreaming about your decor and browsing for that dream sofa to put in your newly-purchased bolthole – but before you can do all that there are a few stages you’ll need to go through.
The vast majority of home purchases in the UK require a mortgage, which is typically influenced by how much you earn, your credit score and how much you are able to put down as a deposit.
Expect a lot of boxes (Picture: Getty Images)
Obviously if you have another property to sell then the value of that one when sold goes towards the deposit on your new property – but it’s a bit more complicated if you’re a first time buyer.
When it comes to how much you’ll need, you’ll also need to take into account the costs of other aspects of buying a property, such as conveyancing, surveys, building insurance, removal costs and any modernisation or repairs you may need to do to the property.
It’s a good idea to get a mortgage in principle from your lender – giving you an idea of what they are prepared to lend – before you begin viewing properties.
Viewing properties
There’s a lot to consider when you buy a property (Picture: Getty Images)
This isn’t as simple as it sounds either, as you’ll need to take a lot of things into account – transport links, local amenities, whether any new developments are planned in the area, whether it’s in a catchment area for good schools (as this can drive the price of properties up) and crime levels in the area can all be factors in choosing a place.
You’ll also need to check if the property is leasehold or freehold – houses are generally freehold but flats are almost always leasehold, meaning you’ll have to pay a service charge and may also pay for renewing the lease, depending on how many years are left on it.
You should also register with local estate agents – it’s free to do and there is no obligation to buy from any of them.
While many property viewings have moved online in the wake of coronavirus, it’s still a good idea to view a place in person before making an offer – there is guidance available to help you do this safely.
Making an offer
The location is everything (Picture: Getty Images)
If you’re ready to make an offer, you can tell the estate agent over the phone as well as put it in writing – and be sure to mention any points in your favour, such as if you’re a first-time buyer and therefore ‘chain-free’ (meaning you don’t have a property you need to sell before you can move in).
You don’t need to necessarily offer the amount the property is on the market for – it’s OK to offer less if that’s what you can afford, although obviously the seller does not have to accept your offer. However you should only make an offer on a property if you are serious about buying it, as pulling out can lead to complications further down the line.
Once your offer is accepted, you should ask the estate agent to stop actively marketing the property, although the seller can still leave it on the market.
You should also put the agent in touch with your legal representative – and receive a memorandum of sale from your estate agent which outlines the offer and the legal representatives of both buyer and seller.
Getting legal representation
This is a very important part of the process, as your legal representative will complete the legal paperwork for your property, carry out legal checks on the property and ensure that the property meets the mortgage lender’s requirements, as well as undertake the legal process of transferring the property from its owner to you.
You’ll need to have surveys done before you can move in (Picture: Getty Images)
Your legal representative will also carry out a number of local authority searches for you, such as whether the property is listed or in a conservation area, or any other external factors such as plans for new roads – but do not tell you about any development on your new neighbour’s land (you can request a specialist search for this if you have concerns).
You normally have to pay for these searches up front – and while some people suggest you should wait until you have a confirmed mortgage offer, others suggest you should get these done as early on as possible.
Getting your mortgage
At this stage you’ll need to complete a full mortgage application – which can be done either with the lender who agreed in principle, or another provider.
You’ll need to show ID and proof of income, as well as having to complete a mortgage interview – and if you’re self-employed you will have to provide additional assurances of how much you earn.
The mortgage provider you go with will also conduct a valuation of the property – to ensure they are happy to lend against its value. This is not a survey, and will not offer you any protection if there is a problem with the property further down the line.
Getting a survey
All the effort will be worth it (Picture: Getty Images)
A property survey helps you to assess what condition the property is in and whether it needs any structural repairs.
Although it’s not mandatory, it’s recommended you should have a survey done, as it will give you an idea of any repair work you may need to carry out on your new home in the future.
Your estate agent or legal representative can normally recommend a surveyor – but it’s your decision who you go with, and you should speak with them about their report afterwards so you’re clear on any problems you might face with the property.
Arrange home insurance
You’ll need buildings insurance on your property from the day it becomes yours, as you’ll be liable for anything that happens to it once you exchange contracts – the exception being if you’re buying a new build property, when buildings insurance kicks in on the day of completion.
Exchange of contracts
The exchange of contracts is one of the most important parts of buying a home – as once you’ve done so you are legally bound to the property, and the seller is legally bound to selling it to you.
Make sure you sign up with local estate agents (Picture: Getty Images)
Up until this point they can withdraw from the offer if they decide to go with an alternative buyer (this is known as ‘gazumping’).
Your legal representative can advise you of when you’re ready to exchange – and you should not do so until all of the following have been confirmed:
You’re happy with the survey and searches which have been carried out
Once you have exchanged you’ll be given a completion date – normally 2-4 weeks after that date – at which point you’ll be able to move in (although this is negotiable).
At this stage you should also start looking for a removals company to transport your belongings – you’ll need to give them as much notice as possible, and you’re also advised to check they belong to the British Association of Removers, and that they have insurance in place.
The date of completion will see the funds transferred to the seller – and that’s when you’ll finally get the keys to your new home.
Which one are you choosing? (Picture: B&M/Metro.co.uk)
Is your toast in need of an upgrade?
While our go-to recommendation might be Caroline Calloway’s iconic ‘nature’s PB and J’ (peanut butter, fresh raspberries, and a drizzle of honey on toast), now B&M is here with another topping option.
The bargain brand has launched two new types of peanut butter – one that’s M&M’s themed and another that’s Snickers themed.
The M&M’s peanut butter is a bit of an acquired taste. It’s made up of your usual peanut butter, but with little bits of peanut M&M’s sprinkled throughout.
That means you’ve got extra crunch from the sugar shells. This concept will either thrill you or disgust you. There is no in between.
The sugar shells in the M&M’s option add some colour (Picture: B&M)
The Snickers one, meanwhile, is peanut butter that’s described as flavoured with caramel with chocolate pieces and Snickers nuts.
Now, here’s where we have to warn you: We tried both of these, and the Snickers one was a touch disappointing. After sitting on the kitchen counter for a bit, those ‘chocolate pieces’ had melted within the peanut butter, making them barely noticeable. So if you’re dreaming of massive chocolate chunks, you might be let down.
Plus, that caramel flavour is very subtle. So subtle, in fact, that we had to double check the packaging to check where the caramel was supposed to be.
We wish the peanut butter had a drizzle of proper caramel running throughout and hefty pieces of Snickers bars, just to make it a load more indulgent.
Watch out for the chocolate pieces melting away (Picture: B&M)
That being said, if you’re after a subtle lift on your regular peaut butter, both of these work a treat.
We reckon they could also work as part of a milkshake or spread on apple slices.
If you fancy giving them a go, both the M&M’s peanut butter and Snicker’s peanut butter are on sale for £2.50 a jar at B&M from today.
Consuming essential oils can cause serious harm (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)
Just because something is ‘natural’ doesn’t mean it’s 100% safe.
While pure essential oils might seem like a healthy way to fragrance your home and soothe your mind, child injury prevention organisation Kidsafe NSW has issued a warning about using these products around young children.
On the safety group’s Instagram, Kidsafe NSW explained that ingesting essential oils, can cause ‘serious poisoning’.
They say that less than a teaspoon of oil can cause major harm.
On Instagram the group wrote: ‘An important reminder from Kidsafe NSW that less than a teaspoon of essential oil or vaporiser fluids can cause serious poisoning in a young child.’
Essential oils can be dangerous to children not because of the vapours when used with a diffuser, but due to the risk of a child picking up the bottle and gulping some down.
These products absolutely should not be taken internally. When they are, this can lead to vomiting, seizures, and even death.
The International Federation of Aromatherapists says: ‘Essential oils must be used and applied with caution, careful consideration and in moderation.
Kidsafe NSW has issued a warning about leaving essential oils within reach of children (Picture: Instagram/Kidsafe Australia)
‘Essential oils absolutely must not be taken internally unless prescribed and administered by a primary healthcare practitioner, pharmacist, or herbalist who is also a trained and qualified essential oil practitioner – the IFA does not advocate the internal use of essential oils in any other circumstance, either via oral, rectal or vaginal means.
‘Essential oils should never be swallowed neat because they can cause severe mucous membrane irritation.
‘Although essential oils metabolise and are eliminated or excreted from the body quite quickly, there is increased risk of causing renal (kidney) and hepatic (liver) damage and internal irritation to other accessory organs of the digestive system. Some essential oils are oral toxins.’
It’s vital that if you have essential oils in the home, they are in bottles with childsafe lids and are never left open and within easy reach of young children.
Essential oils can also poison pets (Picture: Shutterstock / July Prokopiv)
Vet Zoe Costigan, from pet wellbeing specialist firm Itchpet.com, told Metro.co.uk: ‘We need to be cautious when it comes to keeping essential oils in our homes as many oils could be potentially toxic to our pets.
‘Essential oils – as well as being used in room diffusers – are found in many products such as shampoos, air fresheners, insect repellants and may be accidentally ingested, absorbed across the skin or inhaled by animals.
‘Cats are even more sensitive to the effects of essential oils and although they rarely ingest them directly like dogs they may ingest them whilst grooming themselves or their housemates’.
But back to our human children. Australian paediatric doctor Dr Nelu Simonsz echoes Kidsafe’s warning about essential oils, stating back in 2018: ‘Hopefully parents and childcare workers know that locking up cleaning products and medications away from curious little hands can be life-saving but did you also know that an unknown danger is essential oils?
‘Yes the seemingly harmless rosemary oil and eucalyptus oil can be very harmful to children if swallowed.’
She told Femail: ‘Try to buy bottles with a child safe lid where possible.
‘Some kids are too clever for this so make sure all cleaning products, essential oils, medications, sprays and basically anything that could be dangerous if swallowed, are kept in high places or a cupboard that can’t be accessed by kids with childproof locks on them.
‘If you are using these products, make sure either the kids aren’t around or you don’t put the product down with your back to the child (it doesn’t take long for them to pick it up and put it in their mouth).’
If you believe your child has consumed essential oils or is showing signs of poisoning – which can include vomiting, stomach pains, confusion, fainting and drowsiness – it’s vital you call 999 or take them to A&E.
Effects of consuming different essential oils:
CLOVE: large ingestions can have hepatotoxicity similar to paracetamol poisoning, renal failure, DIC, inhalational pneumonitis, coma
With masks already compulsory on public transport and set to become compulsory in shops from next week, some people have expressed concerns that wearing a mask makes it hard to breathe.
However, an NHS doctor has demonstrated that masks do not affect breathing with a clever oxygen test that he shared in a video.
In the video shared on Twitter, Dr Joshua Wolrich, from London, monitors his oxygen saturation levels with medical equipment before and after wearing a mask – and the numbers don’t change.
He goes on to ask people to ‘stop being selfish’ about wearing a mask. He says, very clearly, ‘masks do not have the ability to reduce your oxygen – that is medically false.’
Joshua, who works as a surgeon, starts the video by explaining the equipment he is using to test his oxygen levels.
The surgeon urged people to ‘stop being selfish’ (Picture: Dr Joshua Wolrich)
‘A public service announcement, if I can, about mask-wearing and oxygen saturation,’ he says.
‘This, on my finger, records the oxygen saturation of my blood and my heart rate. This top number is the oxygen saturation. Anything between 94 and 100 is completely normal.
‘I have no respiratory condition, so for me, it sits around 99. The bottom number is my heart rate. Anything above 100 is too fast, and mine is fast because I’m pissed off that I’m having to make this video.
‘Now, I’m going to put my mask on, something that I do routinely seeing as I work as a surgeon and I’m going to show you that this oxygen saturation number doesn’t change.’
He adds: ‘Stop turning this into a political issue.
‘Masks help protect you and protect others. If you’re told to wear them, do so.’
With the video, Joshua posted a caption that reads: ‘Masks categorically do not reduce oxygen saturation. This is a lie made up as an excuse by those who believe the pandemic is a hoax and that wearing a mask somehow encroaches on their rights.
‘This is not an issue of freedom.’
Do you have a story to share? We want to hear from you.
Guy spent 18 months building this incredible garden (Picture: CorinMesser/BNPS)
Bow down to the DIY accomplishments of Guy Young, 34.
The optician from Nuneaton, Warwickshire, was totally new to the art of getting crafty until he decided to create his own incredible Love Island style garden, complete with a hot tub, a massive pool, and a cocktail bar.
The project took him 18 months and cost him just £6,500 in materials – a fraction of the £17,000 he would have had to pay to get the garden done professionally.
And the end result is incredible.
The main attraction is a 12ft by 7ft by 5ft swimming pool that Guy dug and built by hand, even adding 38,000 mosaic tiles and an underwater seat to chill out on.
There’s also a snazzy deck and seating area, with a roped walkway leading to a swing seat overlooking the pool, plus a cocktail bar and barbecue area with table and chairs.
Lockdown provided Guy the time to get the massive project finished – just in time for the heatwave.
The entire project cost him around £6,500 (Picture: CorinMesser/BNPS)
The garden has also helped to dull the disappointment of Guy’s planned holiday in Alicante, Spain, being cancelled due to the coronavirus pandemic.
Guy said: ‘When the sun is out it definitely feels like I’m on holiday in Spain, especially when I’m sat in the pool drinking a margarita.
‘My friends now want to book up a week’s holiday in my garden this summer.
‘I have no previous building experience at all, it was all done by watching YouTube tutorials and by trial and error.
‘I am really proud with what I have achieved but also very shocked I was able to do it.
‘It was a case of watching YouTube tutorials and watching people in India dig swimming pools by hand on Facebook. Every step of the way had to be researched and studied.’
Doing it all himself, with only some help from friends, helped to keep costs down.
But Guy also stuck to his rigid budget by avoiding hiring a digger or even a concrete mixer.
Digging the hole for the pool with spades took months, then he and his friends had to hand-mix a tonne of concrete to create the base.
Guy is enjoying his garden as a replacement for a planned holiday in Spain (Picture: CorinMesser/BNPS)
‘Then I laid the 5ft of concrete blocks around the edges and for the seating step in the pool,’ said Guy. ‘Sealing and rendering came next to make a smooth surface for the 38,800, 2cm by 2cm square tiles.
‘They had to be royal blue to reflect the water.
‘I had to fit the pump after that and then built the decking surround and then spent four days cleaning it to get rid of any impurities.
‘It took two days to fill with water from a garden house and I have to put in three chlorine tablets a day.
‘My budget was always the main consideration but I was in no particular rush to build it.
‘I spent £3,000 on the pool and about £6,500 on the garden overall. But because I did it over such a long period I didn’t really notice the money going out.
‘It was great fun to do and a really great experience.
‘The pool is refreshing but if it gets a bit chilly I just jump in the hot tub.’
Have you completed a DIY project you want to shout about?
‘I think maturity has played a massive part, we don’t really argue now’ (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Millennials are the generation that just can’t catch a break.
Many of us emerged into adulthood during or just before a serious recession – and just as we were starting to catch our breath, we are being plunged head-first into another one.
Millennials are called the ‘boomerang generation’ because loads of us ended up back at our parents’ homes after we finished education only to find that we couldn’t get a job, and the rental/buying market was out of control.
And now it’s happening again. The coronavirus pandemic has landed lots of young-ish adults (in their mid-20s to mid-30s) back at their parents’, and for some, this is the second time this has happened.
But what is it actually like to find yourself back living with your parents, once again, when you’re a fully-fledged grown up?
Do you instantly revert to your teenage self, sulking in your bedroom, whining about what’s for dinner? Or is it possible to cultivate a new, grown-up relationship with your parents?
Jenny*, who is 27, moved in with her dad when she realised just how serious coronavirus was – she was worried about his health and wanted to help out.
‘He’s had all sorts of problems in the past and I wanted to be with him so that I could do his shopping and limit his exposure to other people, and also because he lives alone and I hated the idea of him getting lonely,’ Jenny tells Metro.co.uk.
‘It’s harder for older people who aren’t so good with technology to isolate alone, I think. Plus – he has a bigger house than me and the idea of three of us working from home in my flatshare wasn’t appealing.’
This isn’t the first time Jenny has moved back in with her dad. When she was 22 she moved home for a year while she was studying for a Master’s. But before that she hadn’t lived with him for a long time because she went to boarding school before university.
‘It has been a blessing for both of us,’ says Jenny. ‘We have both been able to bring the other up when one of us was down, and I don’t have to pretend everything is okay if it isn’t.
‘I am protective over him and therefore can nag him’ (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
‘There’s something very reassuring about being with a parent over a crisis, plus he has a dog, which has really helped the coronavirus stress.
‘Frankly, it has also been helpful financially as he tends to cover the food shopping.’
Jenny says she also feels reassured being able to see that her dad was taking adequate precautions against the virus, as he falls in a higher risk group.
‘Though I do feel stressed whenever I think he’s not washing his hands often enough, and that’s been a source of contention for us,’ she adds.
‘The difficulties are that I am protective over him and therefore can nag him, because I’m desperate for him not to fall ill.
‘The other difficulty is that I feel like if I had a boyfriend I wouldn’t have moved in with my dad, and that only serves to underline my singledom.’
Jenny says that the dynamic hasn’t been at all what she expected. She says that even though she moved home to help her dad, he has actually been crucial for her during this difficult time.
‘I thought I was moving in to support him, but actually it has ended up being rather the other way around,’ she explains.
‘I have struggled much more with the social isolation than he has, and his work was largely unaffected by the change, whereas mine is much more difficult to do from home, and became incredibly busy.
‘We have definitely bonded and realised that we are very lucky to have each other.’
In a slightly different scenario, Ryan’s dad moved in with him for the duration of the pandemic.
Ryan, who is 27 and founder of The Life Kitchen, says he hasn’t lived with his dad full-time since he was 16, when he left home. The dynamic of having his dad living in his home, feels different for Ryan than if he were to move back into his parental home.
‘My dad was with me the day Boris announced lockdown and it just made sense for him to stay,’ Ryan tells Metro.co.uk.
‘I live in a tiny countryside hamlet on the outskirts of Barnard Castle and I don’t drive, so that helps too.
‘Having familiarity during this time was a god send to me.
‘He has kept me sane and been the dad that I’ve missed while I was off living in London.’
Ryan says they are getting on surprisingly well, and have only argued twice in four months.
‘I think that’s a record,’ says Ryan. ‘It has improved my mental health having that support network, and I’ve learned that I always want to take care of him.
‘Losing my mother has strengthened our bond, and I know now where my priorities lie.
‘The only difference him living with me is I can turn the heating on whenever I want, but this time I’m paying!’
24-year-old Amy moved back in with her parents after her travel plans were scuppered by the pandemic.
‘I was due to go travelling around the world for 12 months on the 1 May with my boyfriend,’ explains Amy.
‘I handed in my notice on my flat and job in Leeds. Due to the pandemic, my travel plans were halted, but I had already handed in my notice.
‘My agency had hired new people and my flat had new tenants. So my only option was to move back with my parents in the Lake District – and luckily I managed to find a new job at a PR agency I’d worked with before.’
How to cope if you're struggling to get on with your parents
The stress, anxiety and uncertainty of this unprecedented time, can bring out, in all of us, behaviours that seem irrational, and feelings become hard to understand and articulate.
So going home, feeling more vulnerable than usual, will evoke old familiar patterns of communication and behaviours that we left behind when we left home.
Both parents and children are being forced to think about their roles in each others lives, and navigate the tricky waters of their parent/child relationship.
As adults we may return home with unresolved issues about our family and we are now feeling those issues all over again.
How to improve the relationship
Acknowledge the sudden change in each others lives and talk about what that has been like.
Listen with curiosity and compassion.
Everyone’s lives have been affected, and we are all having different feelings at different times.
You had left home and now you are an adult returning home: be respectful and helpful, you are no longer the child returning home to be looked after as you were when you were a teenager or younger.
Have a daily check in: Practice respectful listening.
Notice when you feel triggered: that whoosh of feeling in your body, and take a breath before you react and get into conflict. That breath will help you calm down and respond from a more adult part of yourself.
Communication is everything. You need to regularly chat about:
Schedules, time management, eating habits, use of internet, what social distancing means.
Let your parents know what your day time schedule is: help them to understand your life – the life you may have not let then in on.
Amy had been living independently for the last five years, ever since she went to university, so the thought of moving home wasn’t hugely appealing – but she says she is now able to see the benefits of her home town.
‘I’m actually really enjoying living back with my parents, they live on a farm in the Lake District and I’m finally appreciating the beautiful place I grew up,’ she says.
‘We also have five dogs which is another massive bonus. I’m also paying them a lot less rent compared to Leeds, so I am still saving for my trip.
‘I would say the only difficulty is that I was used to spending a lot of time by myself in Leeds, but in a house of six that’s pretty much unheard of.’
Amy admits that she was worried her and her parents might start arguing lots, like when she was a teenager, but thankfully that hasn’t happened.
‘I think maturity has played a massive part, as I’m more than happy to help around the house now and we don’t really argue,’ she says.
‘In a way, I’m grateful that the Covid pandemic has made us all slow down and appreciate the little things.
‘My relationship with my parents has definitely improved and we spend lots more quality time together.
‘My dad also tested positive for coronavirus so that was a worrying time. I can’t wait until we can finally set off on our trip, but in the meantime I’m just going to enjoy being back in the Lake District with my family.’
Maybe millennials are actually best placed to move home with their parents, because they already know what it’s like to live in a perpetual state of not-quite-adulthood.
For the generation who have been consistently denied the traditional markers of adulthood that their parents experienced, this latest blow is simply par for the course.
Do you have a story to share? We want to hear from you.
It’s no secret that the UK has an obesity problem.
According to the NHS, approximately one in four adults and one in five children, aged 10 to 11, in the country is considered obese.
In an effort to tackle this issue, Cadbury has just announced that two of its chocolate bars will be reduced in size and by default, in calories.
Best-sellers Double Decker and Wispa Gold, which are sold in multipacks, will now contain 200 less calories.
Additionally, Boost and Bournville Classic, also sold in multipacks, will now be made in smaller sizes too.
Cadbury believes the move to shrink some of its popular products could remove 10bn calories in total.
But if you were hoping for a price cut along with the calorie cut, think again – the smaller bars will cost the same.
‘We recognise we must play our part in tackling obesity and are committed to doing so without compromising on consumer choice,’ Louise Stigant, the UK managing director at Mondelēz International, the company that owns Cadbury, told The Grocer.
She added that it is ‘the right approach in terms of helping parents control calories when wanting to treat their children’.
Other products from Cadbury will follow in a similar vein, as the company aims to reduce the size of all its confectionary products in multipacks to under 200 calories by the end of next year.
Some of these size changes have already been made, including to Fudge, Curly Wurly and Chomp bars.
A beautiful pink castle has just gone on the market in Aberdeenshire – but you’ll need £1.5 million in the bank to get your hands on it.
The Grade A-listed property boasts four floors, including six large reception rooms, eight bedrooms, nine bathrooms (four of which are en suite) as well as a chapel, labyrinth and a swimming pool.
It also has a two-bedroom flat on the top floor, which the current owner has been using as their primary residence since 2017.
So pretty (Picture: Knight Frank)
It features an impressive pool (Picture: Knight Frank)
One of the bedrooms (Picture: Knight Frank)
Outside, on the 35.67-acre estate, there’s plenty to enjoy, too. The castle’s grounds feature a labyrinth, a rose garden, a croquet lawn and a large walled garden – complete with an orchard.
There’s also a pavilion a short distance from the main house – built by an award-winning architect in 2018 – which is currently used for weddings and functions.
You can’t miss it (Picture: Knight Frank)
It sits on a 35.67-acre estate (Picture: Knight Frank)
Lovely (Picture: Knight Frank)
Over the years, numerous renovations have taken place to give the property a little extra finesse.
In the 1700s, a range of extensions were added which transformed the house into a grand Georgian country mansion – and a gothic tower was built in 1829.
Decadent (Picture: Knight Frank)
There are lots of external features too (Picture: Knight Frank)
What’s more, the property is dripping in history. In 1242, it was granted by King Alexander II to a Norman knight called Sir Walram de Normanville.
It’s also believed that the castle provided accommodation for Robert the Bruce (AKA – the king of Scotland between 1306-1329).
Many of the rooms pay homage to the house’s unique history, like the Great Hall – which includes period features, such as an open fireplace, intricate panelling and a medieval painted ceiling.
Was it a mistake to allow bare-faced shoppers into our essential stores for this long? (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
It requires the epidemiological knowledge of a five-year-old to understand that covering your mouth stops the spread of germs, but until this week, I still believed that the Government knew something I didn’t. Otherwise face masks would have been compulsory since the beginning of the pandemic, right?
I assumed that if something so blindingly, obviously beneficial in the fight against an airborne virus wasn’t being recommended, then I must have missed something. After all, I’m not party to the same scientific advice bestowed upon our Prime Minister.
The Government announced this week that it would be compulsory to wear face masks in shops and supermarkets, not with immediate effect, but from July 24. A whole six months after Covid-19 arrived on our shores.
Lockdown regulations and social distancing measures have been variable to say the least. Essential shops have been the only constant in our lockdown lives and yet in the four months since that fateful announcement by Boris, we weren’t legally required – or even politely encouraged – to wear a face mask while buying necessities.
Was it a mistake to allow bare-faced shoppers into our essential stores for this long?
The easing of lockdown measures and an increase in social interaction means that stricter rules must be put in place in order to do so. The elderly and vulnerable, who have been shielding for almost four months and crave a bit of normality, must feel safe and confident enough to brave it.
By refusing to wear one on public transport or in shops, you’re advertising yourself as a self-serving a**hole
I have always worn a mask on public transport, but I wish I had been wearing one to the shops sooner, in fact, I now feel ashamed that I wasn’t. Needless to say, I won’t be waiting until July 24 to do so.
It baffles me that there are people among us who think that the legal requirement to wear a mask is an infringement on their human rights. I think this speaks volumes as to a person’s ego.
Wearing a mask provides some level of self-defence against Covid-19, but it primarily protects the people around you. By refusing to wear one on public transport or in shops, you’re advertising yourself as a self-serving a**hole.
Invariably, there will be people who cannot wear a mask for medical reasons or have severe anxiety or past traumas triggered by having something over their mouth, so judging naked faces could be prejudicial. But if you’re not exempt, and you’re arrogantly waltzing around Tesco with your lips on show, then I hope you take a long, hard look at yourself in self-checkout CCTV.
It’s hyperbolic to suggest that the Venn diagram for those tweeting #AllLivesMatter and #NoMask is just a solid circle, but I bet it’s not far off.
Granted, masks are a nightmare for a red lip, but I always preferred the top half of my face anyway. Your chin gets a bit sweaty and your glasses may steam up, but our grandparents wore gas masks during the war so let’s all get a grip.
Why not make a game out of it? Pretend you’re a publicly-shamed A-list celeb trying to hide their identity from the gaze of the paparazzi. A spy on a covert mission to steal frozen peas from the Russians. Or maybe even a person in the midst of a viral pandemic trying to protect others from harm.
Along with those who are medically vulnerable, the very same people who survived the Second World War have made the biggest sacrifice out of all of us during this pandemic.
Think of poor Gladys, who has been locked indoors for four straight months with nothing but re-runs of The Chase and a weekly phone call with her son to keep her company.
All she wants is a fresh egg custard. She can’t get them on home delivery so she’s been dying to get herself to the bakery section to pick out the juiciest tart. She makes it to fresh produce, but there’s a maskless man browsing grass-fed chicken fillets in her way. She hasn’t put in four months of solitary confinement to risk it all on a cough from fillet-man. She turns round, dejected. She’ll try again next week.
Even if you don’t think they work, even if you think you’ve already had Covid-19, even if you think the metal strips in face masks are a 5G antenna designed to destroy your brain (an actual conspiracy theory, Google it): wear a damn mask. It’s not for you, it’s for Gladys.
The coronavirus pandemic has messed with the economy – and there is likely more to come, with whispers of redundancies once furlough is over, and what could be the ‘sharpest’ recession on record, according to Bank of England.
Small luxuries add up over time – coffee, drinks at the pub, takeaway orders, drinks at the pub, taxi rides, drinks at the pub.
In fact, a survey has just revealed that avoiding the favourite British past-time (drinks a the pub, duh) for the rest of summer could see you save yourself a handsome sum in coming weeks.
The findings showed that we frequent watering holes more often in summer – an average of 2.5 times a week.
This figure, combined with the fact an average pint in the UK is priced at £3.79 according to The Good Pub Guide, means each person could save £363.84 a month.
Additionally, the survey found that 12% of the 2,408 participants visit the pub every day – meaning that their savings could be even greater.
And if you tend to opt for more expensive beverages, such as spirits, wine or speciality beers, that piggy bank could fill up very quickly.
In short? Avoiding your local or opting for cans in the park equals more cash for other things.
Then again, can one really put a price on the social value of a cold pint in the pub with mates?
The Kent couple decided to take matters into their own hands (Picture: LatestDeals)
Unless you’re a certain Harry Potter’s neglectful aunt and uncle, you’re probably not getting much use out of the cupboard under the stairs.
Something about the shape of it makes it the perfect size for a vacuum and odds-and-sods, but the wrong shape for looking tidy or organised – no matter how hard you try.
Thomas and Kayleigh Firth, both 31, had the idea to revamp this space in their house, and first went to a professional to get a price.
The couple were quoted £1,000 to build under-stair storage, but found that a little to expensive so decided to look for ways they could DIY the project.
They ended up doing it all for just £175, and the final result is absolutely beautiful.
Thomas, a mechanical engineer, told money-saving community LatestDeals.co.uk: ‘My wife and I have always rented our properties, so we’ve not had the opportunity to do this before now.
Before the transformation (Picture: LatestDeals)
‘We bought our first home last year and we were in need of extra storage in our new home, so we thought it would be a good idea to create this under-stair storage as there was no other space in the property.
‘We decided to get a quote to have the work done by someone else, but the quotes we were getting were nearly £1,000. Just after my son was born, I built a toy box for him and that went really well so I decided to have a go at this.
Thomas made a frame to ensure he didn’t disrupt the toilet pipes in the space (Picture: LatestDeals)
‘Our downstairs toilet is under the stairs too, so I was unsure of what was behind the plasterboard wall, so because of this, I needed to check whether we could go ahead.
‘I cut a little hole in the plasterboard and shone a torch in there and took pictures of inside and because of there only being one pipe coming from the toilet I was able to go ahead with it.
Drawers were made of MDF and secured with glue, screw, and dowels (Picture: LatestDeals)
‘I had to adapt the drawer sizes accordingly to ensure the pipe wasn’t jeopardised. If it couldn’t be done then I had planned to just fill the hole again.’
Once Thomas had investigated the plasterboard wall, he went ahead with building the storage cupboard.
Before the final spruce-up (Picture: LatestDeals)
Thomas made a frame for the drawers, then fixed the runners and added drawer bases.
Eventhe drawer boxes themselves are custom made, with Thomas gluing the joints and screwing in with dowerls for strength.
The drawers were painted a muted grey with sparkly knobs (Picture: LatestDeals)
‘The doors were made out of 12mm MDF and I cut the angles and checked them all before routing a decorative profile on the edges,’ says Thomas.
‘My wife did all the priming of the MDF and painting of the drawers and doors. We decided to add some carpet tiles in the bottom to make it easier to clean if dirty shoes were put in the drawers.
The carpet tiles give the drawers a sleek finish (Picture: LatestDeals)
‘In total, it cost us £175 including the paint and knobs we used.’
All the items they used to build the drawers were from Wickes, Screwfix, Homebase, and Toolstation.
‘In terms of tools, I used a table saw, a router, a screwdriver, a hammer, a drill and a circular saw,’ adds Thomas.
The project has turned out perfectly, provided a great lockdown project for the family, and best of all, saved them over £800. Harry would be jealous.
Kelly was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer last year (Picture: Kelly Garrison / SWNS)
Kelly Garrison, 46, was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer – a form of cancer that’s incredible aggressive and spreads fast – in August 2019.
She decided that losing her breasts was a sacrifice she was happy to make if it meant she could live.
The mum-of-two underwent a double mastecomy, a surgery in which both breasts are removed, in a Floriday hospital in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic.
Now on a course of chemotherapy, Kelly has posed topless to inspire other survivors of cancer to embrace their post-surgery scars.
The former Starbucks manager said: ‘I’d rather lose my boobs if I know it gives me an extra day to live.
‘With the chemo I did, I lost my hair, my nails turned black, I gained weight and I had sores in my nose.
After undergoing a double mastectomy, Kelly has shared topless photos to inspire other survivors to love their bodies (Picture: Kelly Garrison / SWNS)
‘I took it in my stride and when my hair started to fall out – my fiance shaved my head for me.
‘I wanted to share the pictures because of the insecurities women go through.
‘You lose a part of your sexuality and womanhood when this happens.
‘Your body turns into something you no longer recognise in the mirror.
‘Eventually I realised this is the new me and I needed to learn to love the new person I am now.’
Chemotherapy has made Kelly more at risk of coronavirus (Picture: Kelly Garrison / SWNS)
Kelly, a mum to Robert, 24, and Allison, 22, is at an increased risk of coronavirus as chemotherapy has left her immune system weak.
She has had to stop seeing her children for fear of infection, but has been able to go on social distanced dates with her fiance, Willie Miranda, 51, a school custodian.
Willie even surprised Kelly with a proposal on Christmas day, four months after her diagnosis.
‘With COVID going on, I hardly go out anywhere,’ Kelly said.
‘When I go to the hospital, I had to go by myself and Willie would wait outside in the car.
The mum-of-two hasn’t been able to see her children amid the pandemic (Picture: Kelly Garrison / SWNS)
‘I have to be extra careful and there were times I couldn’t see my own kids after my surgery because of the risk.
‘Willie and I still have date nights but we order our food and eat it in the car.
‘It just makes your life a little more hectic because you have to stay secluded.’
Kelly plans to have breast reconstruction surgery down the line, but wants to love her body as it is now in the meantime.
Taking a topless photo is part of that journey of self-love.
‘Sometimes I hated to look at my reflection because I didn’t feel like that person,’ said Kelly.
‘I want other women who are going through this, who are afraid and ashamed, to know they need to learn to love their new body and not hold on to the old one.’
So many cosy spots to settle into (Picture: Splash)
A new shop in Beijing will make book lovers weak at the knees.
The Zhongshuge bookstore – which has recently opened inside the city’s Lafayette department store – features tunnels and hidden reading nooks.
Designed by architecture firm X+Living, the building is inspired by traditional Chinese gardens.
The unique space includes walls of books and round walkways, which pay homage to ‘moon gates’ – circular openings often built in Chinese gardens.
It features circular tunnels (Picture: SplashNews.com)
The creative and cultural room is inspired by bamboo (Picture: SplashNews.com)
But nods to the country’s culture do not stop there – the cafe design pays tribute to the gathering in the famous Chinese painting ‘Qu Shui Liu Shang.’
Likewise, the creative and cultural room is inspired by bamboo forests.
For little ones, there’s a whimsical children’s library which incorporates cartoon-style decor.
The design reflects different elements of Chinese culture (Picture: SplashNews.com)
The Moon Gate-inspired arches (Picture: SplashNews.com)
Coming in at 1,110 square-metres (11,948 square ft), the venue is large but not enormous – however the mirror ceilings and reflective doors make the space feel a lot bigger.
Guests looking to unwind with a book can set themselves up in one of the bookshop’s numerous nooks and crannies, while others can lose themselves in the floor’s eye-catching world map design.
What more could you ask for?(Picture: SplashNews.com)
A representative of X+Living told Lonely Planet: ‘All of the bookstores that we designed are inspired by local culture.
‘The classical gardens and the reading space collided from three different perspectives, I think that’s what makes it different from traditional bookstores.
‘We connect various functional areas with different formats of space layout. Visitors will get more interested and more curious in spaces like this and feel more connected.’
This is the second Zhongshuge bookshop from X+Living – the first opened last year in Chongqing.
Are you always going for the same people? (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
If your dating life is a mess, it’s easy to feel as if you’re cursed with bad luck in love.
We’ll let you in on a secret: while there are rare instances where people magically find ‘the One(s)’ and live happily ever after, more often than not you have to work really hard to find a soulmate, or even just a casual fling.
We’re not referring to the constant swiping on apps, the stale conversations during bad dates or the painful ghosting on repeat (speaking of – can we all please stop doing that?) – though that is definitely hard work.
But rather, the importance of working on yourself and spotting signs in your dating life that might be the very reason you’re not finding what you’re after.
Human beings are predictable creatures, because we form routines based on our likes and needs – from what we eat for breakfast to what kind of people we’re drawn to.
Specifically with dating, our past experiences influence how we act, and sometimes, they form a pattern, but not necessarily a positive one.
If your pattern isn’t working for you, it’s time to break it – and here’s how.
What is a dating pattern?
‘A pattern associated with dating behaviour is typically identified as actions, tasks and behaviours which occur repeatedly, often subconsciously, whilst meeting new romantic potentials,’ Sarah Louise Ryan, dating expert and founder of Love Lessons tell us.
‘There is a comfort in tracing the same steps time and time again because it’s in ones control and the outcome is also comfortable – inclusive of the good, the bad and the ugly – because more often than not when we repeat the same steps we get the same outcome, even if the outcome doesn’t serve the reason we set out to do that task in the first place.
‘Taking new steps, creating new pathways and adopting new behaviours will often result in a different outcome, and that’s out of our control as it’s a new experience and so we can often sync into a repetitive pattern, which becomes a habit, because we are not willing to experience and grow in something out of our comfort zones.’
Basically, our patterns are patterns for a reason – there is often a deeper link to why we choose certain people, sometimes those who aren’t good for us.
This can be influenced by a connection between feeling desirable and our self-worth, as well as a natural reluctancy to change.
Sarah adds: ‘For example, if someone says that they don’t like people who are “too nice” romantically speaking, what they are really saying is they are used to being treated in a way that isn’t just kind and serving positive to their romantic needs.
‘So they will continue to seek to attract “bad boys or girls” as the outcome, often experiencing toxic behaviours that break away boundaries, is actually far more comfortable for some than things working out well. ‘
How to break a dating pattern
It may take a while before you are ready to change the pattern – or before you are willing to admit to yourself that your current dating strategy isn’t doing you any favours.
Take it step by step.
Lily Walford, dating coach at Love With Intelligence, recommends that you ask yourself a few hard questions:
When was the first time you started this pattern? What emotions pop up around this pattern?
What would happen if you didn’t date this type of person?
Wo is it that you really want to date?
She says: ‘When you notice this pattern, it’s time to go deeper so you can release the pattern.
‘It’s important to recognise that if you are dating and allowing this pattern to go unaddressed, you’ll end up with a partner with those same traits again – why?
‘Because we go for what we know.
‘We naturally stick to normality through routine, social circles, values and beliefs – so dating patterns are no different. ‘
If online dating is a letdown, give speed dating or singles parties a go (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
If dating feels like a chore, it’s also time to mix things up.
A different environment or approach to meeting someone could open you up to new possibilities – and in turn, help you break the pattern.
‘It’s only by pushing yourself to try something new that you’ll start to have fun new experiences again,’ says James Preece, a celebrity dating coach and relationship expert.
He explains that the world of dating apps has presented us with so many options of people that it can be overwhelming, and so we are better off limiting ourselves to one new person per week.
This way, we can get to know them properly and find out if they hold the same values, and by doing so, avoid those who don’t (again, break the pattern).
‘Meeting new people can be addictive, but many people enjoy the buzz of the initial attraction so much they never put the phone down,’ James adds.
‘This means they’ll keep swiping on dating apps to get a hit rather than caring about whether they are a good match or not.
‘If you like someone, give them a real chance and do your best to get to know each other
‘Feelings come through time so enjoy the process. Meet them in real life rather than becoming penpals.
‘Try something completely different. This could be as simple as going to a new place or trying an app that a friend suggests.
‘Single people are everywhere so the more ways you can reach them them the wider your dating pool. Don’t be afraid to experiment.’
If online dating is a letdown, give speed dating or singles parties a go.
Ask a friend to set you up with someone they think you might click with.
Or take a chance on a person who isn’t your usual ‘type’ but whose company you really enjoy.
It’s worth remembering that finding love in 2020 looks very different from what it did five or 10 years ago.
Dating culture has changed, and with it, so have humans – with new trends developing that aren’t helping us form real connections.
Such as: ghosting.
‘Another example is ghosting and the houdini act that some people consistently play in dating today,’ Sarah explains.
‘It happens more so than ever before. Let’s say you’re someone who identifies with cutting ties with different people online frequently without telling them for example because you didn’t “click” with their messages.
‘Maybe it gets to those first dates but you decide it’s not for you and you block them on social and delete their number.
‘These particular actions can be deemed as comfortable for the person doing the ghosting, as the outcome is in their control and the emotional investment in having those difficult conversations doesn’t need to be explored.
‘Perhaps the person who identifies as a ghost struggles in conflicting conversations and struggles to seek solutions and resolutions, this too is out of their comfort zone, so as with the first example they seek what feels like the easiest way out, often without reflection on how they could learn about themselves or grow.
‘Or, more importantly, the effect that has on the other person (that isn’t just a profile) on the other side of the swipe.’
Sometimes, we need help to alter our negative behaviours.
There is no shame in this – rather, admitting that you want to change is brave and that you need someone else’s support to do it, even more so.
Consider your needs before you choose a professional: are you after a therapist to talk through deep-seated issues with?
Or is it your dating skills that need work? If so, a relationship coach or other expert in love could be a better option.
Finally, consider taking a break from dating altogether.
Focus on the people – friends and family – who make you happy, and spend more time in their company.
Romantic love is not the only kind of love that matters.
