With news that London rent prices have dropped in lockdown, we reckon it’s time to take an updated look at the cheapest areas to rent in the UK’s capital city… and the most expensive, because it’s both fun and painful to look at fancy places we’d never be able to afford.

SpareRoom has just released its quarterly rental index, which along with revealing that London’s average rents have dropped by 7% (seems small, but that’s actually quite a significant dip), also highlights the cheapest and priciest areas to rent in the city.

While London still remains tonnes more expensive than UK areas outside the city (seriously, wait ’til you see the cheapest places to rent around the country. The average monthly cost will make Londoners weep), there are postcodes within London where rent is slightly more affordable.

As you’d probably expect, those areas tend to be further outside the centre, with the cheapest average rent to be found in N18 (Upper Edmonton) at £538 a month in the second quarter of 2020.

Next on the list of the least expensive areas is SE2 (Abbey Wood) at £547 a month, followed by E6 (East Ham) at £551 a month.

It’s worth noting that these are averages pulled only from data from the second quarter of 2020 and from the room ads for shared accommodation on SpareRoom.

If you have your heart set on renting your own place, obviously that’s likely to be much more expensive than a room in a shared property.

And on the flip side, it’s very possible to find cheaper shared rooms within these areas and in other spots around London.

Not to brag, but a couple years back I paid £480 a month for a room in a houseshare in Tooting. So it’s worth having a proper dig around the listings to find the best deal.

Anyway, that’s the cheapest places sorted. Now let’s look at the most expensive areas to rent in London.

EC4 (St Paul’s) tops that list, with the average monthly rent coming in at £1,316, followed by SW7 (South Kensington/Knightsbridge) at £1,110 a month, then WC2 (Strand/Holborn) at £1,048 a month.

Just a heads up that outside of London, the cheapest average rent going is just £314 a month in Craigavon.

Citydwellers, you may proceed to question why we’re doing this to ourselves.

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We should definitely all be wearing masks when we go into shops and other indoor spaces and having a couple that you can wash and rotate is a good idea.

But it’s not enough to own a mask or two – where you buy your mask from matters.

That’s because some masks and other forms of personal protective equipment (PPE) have been linked with modern-day slavery.

While masks used to be the preserve of healthcare professionals and beauticians, we’re all going to be legally obliged to wear one from 24 July – sending sales skyrocketing. According to Cambridge University experts, that increase in demand is putting the world’s poor at grave risk.

Writing for The Conversation, senior research associates Sarah Steele and Lejla Sarcevic say that ‘many will find themselves at risk of being exploited – becoming modern slaves – as production rapidly increases’.

Back in 2018, the Guardian revealed that much of the PPE supplied to the NHS was a product of exploitation and slavery. That expose saw contracts ending, reviews and reforms but we know that the textile industry still relies heavily on child labour and slavery to produce cheap items (most recently in Leicester). It’s not just fast fashion clothing that’s being produced.

A staggering 40.3 million people are estimated to live in slavery, 25 million of whom are involved in making goods. According to the Global Slavery Index, G20 countries (UK, US, EU, Russia etc) import around £278 billion in products that may have been made using slave labour. The pandemic has meant that many will have lost their jobs and therefore are more vulnerable to being exploited as demand for masks continues to grow.

Certain governments have actually lifted bans on buying PPE from companies known to use slave labour, in order to get the supplies needed.

How to ensure your mask is slavery-free

There are two very simple ways to get around this moral conundrum (and not wearing a mask isn’t one of them).

It’s super simple to make your own mask. If you’ve got an old T-shirt or tea towel, you can make one really quickly with this guide.

If you can’t be arsed with the DIY, then be sure to check where you’re buying your mask from. It’s so tempting to jump online order a load of super-cheap options but you really don’t know where they’ve come from or why they’re so cheap.

Instead, have a look on Etsy for masks made by individual creators and studios (you’ll also be supporting small businesses that way) or look on sites such as Wearth London which specialises in zero-waste, UK-made products.

Sure, you might spend a little more but if you’re going to wear a mask almost every day for however long, it’s worth investing.

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Last week was a bit of a shocker for astrology fans, as it a appeared that there may be a 13th sign that we’d somehow missed.

People stumbled upon an old blog site by NASA that mentioned the constellation Ophiuchus and its significance in the zodiac, sending them into a tailspin that potentially their astrological identity was compromised.

Although this has been debunked, the worry was real for many of us, in particular those who’d got tattoos based around our star sign.

Lauren Sandford, 24, was one of these people, having got a massive lion’s head inked on her leg in tribute to the star sign of Leo.

After the apparent announcement that the date boundaries had changed, though, she was devastated to learn that her birthday on 4 August would potentially actually make her a Cancer.

The ‘change’ left her devastated and with the wrong star sign tattooed on her body.

Lauren from Worthing, West Sussex said: ‘I’m Leo through to the core.

‘I’ve read up about Cancer now and I’m nothing like Cancer.

‘I got told today at work by a colleague that NASA had changed the star signs so I looked it up and I couldn’t believe they were saying I’m a Cancer now.

‘I’m really annoyed – how can they just change them like that?!’

Lauren has over 30 tattoos on her body, and added the lion on her leg in December 2019.

The support worker’s star sign tattoo is on her right leg and is a stunningly intricate design of a lion’s head decorated with flowers in the animal’s hair.

Lauren paid £170 for the tattoo which was designed especially for her and took a painful three hours to be done at Thirteen Ink Studio in Worthing.

She said: ‘When they finished the tattoo, I absolutely fell in love with it.

‘I love lions, they are my favourite animal and I was over the moon that my star sign was Leo the lion, it’s just me down to a t!’

Thankfully Lauren can now sleep easy knowing she is still a Leo after the ‘new’ star sign theory was quashed, but it goes to show how one seemingly-insignificant piece of news can change make us question everything.

Lauren said: ‘I am definitely a Leo – I’m a very creative and passionate person, I’m warm-hearted and pretty cheerful.

‘I can have my stubborn days and lazy days. I love travelling and taking holidays, I’m always out with friends.

‘My biggest dislike is being ignored and not being treated like a person should be – I’m a Leo through and through.

‘I’m not a Cancer – I hate water so you wouldn’t see me relaxing in any sort of water and I don’t really like eating in front of people.

‘I just don’t see myself as a Cancer. I’m a Leo and no one is going to change that.’

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When Megan Gerrard, 22, and her friends met a group of lads on a boozy night out in Magaluf, they clicked instantly.

Megan decided to honour the new friendship with the group of seven guys from Newcastle… by getting their initials tattooed on her leg.

Unfortunately it turned out that some of the men she met had given her fake names.

But Megan, from Warrington in Cheshire, doesn’t regret a thing.

Megan travelled to Magaluf with six of her friends for a girls’ trip back in July 2018, and met a group of seven guys from Newcastle while out there.

The groups joined together and went out every night drinking and partying on the island.

On their final night in Magaluf, the new friends headed to the strip for one last night out when they passed a tattoo parlour.

Megan made a joke about getting everyone’s initials tattooed on her thigh, and the guys liked the idea so much they dared her to do it… so she did, despite her friends warning her it was a terrible plan.

‘My friends were begging me not to but I was determined to get it done,’ said Megan, who works in customer service.

When Megan returned to England, she realised some of the men had given her fake initials after finding out their real names on social media.

Megan and her friends stayed in contact with the guys for around four months until their girlfriends found out – and apparently made the men block off all contact with them.

Despite all this, Megan has no regrets about what happened and found the whole experience rather hysterical.

She has since got a new tattoo to cover up the initials.

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Ever looked around at all the waste packaging that comes from your weekly food shop and wondered what to do with it all? Well, how about upcycling them into iconic pieces of arm candy?

An Italian Instagram account is turning fast-food wrappers, shopping bags and boxes into incredible handbags. @camera60studio is run by creative couple Chiara Rivituso and Matteo Bastiani who both work in fashion. Their designs – followed by 11.6K fans – are all about communicating their ‘vision of a more sustainable environment’.

They tell Vogue that they started their upcycling project a few years ago when they decided to ‘bring the craftsmanship leather goods details into everyday objects’.

When coronavirus hit, however, the pair decided to level up by looking at how to make something beautiful out of nothing – looking around their home for materials. In March, they made a Stella McCartney Falabella tote out of an Italian biscuit box. Abbracci, the name of the brand, means ‘hugs’ in English – a message to their followers to hang on in there during the crisis.

Their aim, they say is ‘to inspire people to create rather than waste’. All of the bags are functional and while they started being made from standard bag materials infused with salvaged items, the more recent creations are all entirely created using upcycled packaging.

Whether it’s creating a Balenciaga Bazar bag from a Tesco shopper

A Fendi Baguette from Macci D materials

Or a Maison Margiela tote out of a massive crisp packet

They’ve just done it

And Amazon Prime will never be the same again

And if you want to have a go at making your own Mini Kelly neck bags out of Tampax boxes or Kinder Brioche packaging, the pair have put the template online.

All you have to do is download it here and follow the instructions in their stories.

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Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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With house prices in London as they are, it’s understandable that you may give up hope of ever owning a home in the city.

But with a bit of work and/or ingenuity, you can find yourself a beautiful home that’s more in the budget of a normal person.

The Kathleen Alexander is one such home, and is currently on the market for £149,950 via Rightmove.

The houseboat was recently built and renovated, and comes with two bedrooms and a large kitchen/living room area, as well as a bathroom that looks just like what you’d find in a ‘regular’ house.

The Kathleen Alexander is thought to be the only houseboat that’s coated in Corten Weathering steel, which purposely rusts to create a protective coating that never needs to be repainted.

A lot of the niggle of boating life are also ironed out with a low-maintenance modern compost toilet, solar lights, a water tank that should give you eight weeks of water, and an instant hot water heater.

The catch is only that the boat is on a continuous cruiser license. This is a massive saving on mooring fees at just £1,000 a year, but does mean that you have to move 20-30 miles, doing so at least every two weeks.

It’s ideal for people who want to see more of London via the waterways, but could be a problem for folks who’d rather have a stable base.

Other than that, though, you’ll have all the mod cons you’re used to. The boat comes with a Smeg fridge, gas range, gas central heating, and is all decorated to a high standard.

For eco-conscious cruisers, this is a very environmentally-friendly option.

The current owner Owain Harris said of the structure: ‘We don’t take up any land, we are a much smaller space, and use much less energy to heat up and keep warm.

‘We burn recycled wood pellets from local joineries. We are far more conscious of the resources we use and waste we produce, as everything has transported on and off the boat.’

Save the planet and the pennies, all while living on a floating Instagram-worthy dream? Where do we sign up.

Do you have an interesting home you’d like to share with the world?

Get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk.

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Welcome to Black Owned, a series that celebrates the brilliant Black entrepreneurs doing bits in the UK.

Despite the challenges, the community continues to create important and brilliant work – and we’re here to make sure that you know about it.

This week, we’ve got Marilyn Devonish, founder of TranceFormations™ – a company specialising in different types of life coaching. At a time when wellness and success have never been more important, it’s so important to have Black professionals offering services in these alternative spaces. Whether it’s relationship coaching, tarot reading or hypnosis, representation matters.

What made you set up TranceFormations™?

It came about as the result of an unbelievable transformation in my life. I was studying to be a Chartered Accountant while at the same time going through both severe health challenges and a messy relationship break up after a partner had an affair- I was contemplating suicide. 

I ‘accidentally’ signed myself up for a personal development course, thinking that it’d help improve my communication skills as I was painfully quiet, shy, and lacking in confidence. As it turns out, I had signed up for what I called ‘weird stuff’ – so immediately tried to get a refund.

The company told me to come to the training and that if I didn’t get ‘massive value’ from it, they would issue a refund at the end. At this point, not only was I down several thousand pounds, but I was also hopping mad at wasting a week of my time. However, the rest as they say is history. I went in one end a complete skeptic and emerged the other side completely TranceFormed – hence the name.

Can you describe the kinds of work you do as a therapist and coach?

I used to be a relationship coach, public speaking consultant and magazine agony aunt, but in recent times, my focus has shifted more to working with business owners, entrepreneurs and executives who have hit a plateau and want help to level-up their performance. 

To do this, I run ‘Breakthrough Sessions’, which involve a four-stage process:

Stage 1 is about identifying the main problem/root cause and limiting beliefs; without doing that, the work can be surface-level and people can find themselves living Groundhog Day where the same old problems, patterns and cycles keep recurring. 

Stage 2 resolves the problem using techniques such as neuro-linguistic programming, hypnosis, emotional freedom techniques, past life regression and more. 

Stage 3 then installs new strategies and beliefs – what I call retraining the neurology.

Stage 4 sets the future pace where we set up new habits, beliefs, strategies, and behaviours. Typically for this, I use a combination of timeline therapy, future life progression, and maybe a soul plan reading. A Breakthrough Session takes approximately eight hours from start to finish.

When I first launched TranceFormations™ in 2001, I would do all the stages as one complete life-changing day. Now we often block the time and break it down into three-to-five sessions, depending upon how quickly the client wants to work.  Because the majority of my work has been online since 2005, the shorter timeslots also work will with transatlantic international sessions and provide what I call ‘incubation time’ in between.

Do you think there’s a need specifically for Black therapists?

A good therapist is a good therapist regardless of colour. In the training I’ve done, part of the process of becoming a therapist is working through your own stuff before you’re let loose on others.  If a therapist has fully embraced that process and done the work, they will have faced some of their own shadows, biases and prejudices.  It, of course, comes down to how willing people are to do that.  There is also something to be said for working with someone who isn’t ‘like you’ because when done correctly, it can provide a new perspective.

That said, the black experience is unique; just look at what we are seeing now in terms of the shock, horror, and utter dismay from many in the white community as their friends or peers speak out about their experiences of racism. It is clear from the reaction that many had no idea what being Black in a system not designed with you in mind means.  If there’s that much disbelief regarding everyday micro-aggressions, you might wonder how a therapist from a different background could empathise with and fully grasp the nuances of a Black client. 

When choosing a therapist, I always advise people to listen, feel, and trust their intuition. After checking their skills, qualifications and results, make sure that they demonstrate what I call the ’emotional and spiritual dexterity’ to handle the depth of work. You usually have an immediate sense after speaking to someone whether they ‘get you’ and have a proven track record in providing the results and outcomes you are looking for.

Is Black mental health something that’s addressed enough?

No! There are reports about the way Black women are treated in the healthcare system, with the assumption they have a different and higher pain threshold. There is also something similar happening to the Black community in regards to mental and emotional health and wellbeing. 

Many of us have had to ‘suck it up’ and get on with things because if you allowed every oversight or racist remark, every display of less than favourable treatment, you would literally be a nervous wreck. The resilience required to withstand what many people go through regularly is enormous and becomes part of daily life. Then, of course, you have the ‘strong Black woman’ stereotype which can lead us to believe that we have to do it all ourselves.

Before stumbling into that training room in October 2000, I didn’t know that it was possible to make such dramatic and lasting changes to the way I and others felt.  It was like stepping into a whole other realm or parallel universe. 

For the past 20 years, I’ve been talking about the need for ancestral and genealogical clearing and healing work because the impact of hundreds of years of slavery and oppression can get into our psyche. Many of the feelings people are experiencing now – the heaviness, hopelessness, frustration, anger, anxiety, turmoil, tiredness, overwhelm, rage, sense of injustice – can pre-date us. Now more than ever, I hope those being triggered recognise the importance of addressing any potential ancestral trauma.

Do you think that being a Black business owner has impacted your success in any way?

When I first got started, I was just excited because I was and still am passionate about helping people breakthrough and transform themselves to live a more limitless life. But I also realised that I was judged much of the time on how I looked rather than the content and quality of my work. As a result, I decided not to put a picture of me on my website because I wanted clients to decide whether to book a session or attend a workshop based on my results and qualifications.  

My suspicions were born out in glorious technicolour a year or so later.  A client arrived and was very uncomfortable at the start of the breakthrough session day. That’s not 100% unusual because people are often revealing and unburdening for the very first time, however, I could tell there was something more going on. About 30 minutes in, I asked if there was anything she wanted or needed to say before we got started. 

Her response was this: My dad is racist. My mum is racist, and I guess I am racist, and if I knew you were bBack, I wouldn’t have booked to come and see you.

At this late stage in the game – having blocked out the entire day and hired the therapy room – it would usually have been too late for a refund, however, after thanking her for sharing and being so honest, I offered two options and choices:

1. Give a full refund. No harm. No foul. We just call it a day.
2. Take advantage of the fact she was already there and stay to do the work. 

She went for door number two. This was in the summer. That December, a card arrived in the post. I didn’t recognise the handwriting but opened it and looked at the name in the bottom right corner. I still wasn’t sure who it was from. The left side of the card contained a letter. It was from the aforementioned client. She was no longer anorexic, bulimic, had stopped self-harming, given up drinking, and was back at university and achieving good grades. She closed with thanking me for helping to save her life. In that moment, I knew anything was possible and that belief and experience has underpinned the mindset I take into the mediation, diversity awareness, and conflict resolution work I do with corporations, the police, and gangs. 

I have achieved 360-degree turnarounds in standoff situations in as little as three hours and that client Christmas card experience is part of the process of how I achieve such results in record time.

Do you think that the Black Lives Matter movement making it easier for Black businesses to thrive? 

On the face of it, possibly – but it’s early days. Black people of a certain age were aware of the struggle long before the BLM movement and of the treatment that we’ve endured from the days of Windrush and before. Decades later, variations of the same issues and cycles still exist. 

The day I watched the George Floyd video, I felt this time would be different. I wrote a blog post back in 2014 called ‘I Can’t Breathe -The Racial Evolution That Needs to Be Heard’, in which I described the ‘next wave of evolution’.

I believe there is something pivotal about this moment in time. Will posting the black squares and talking about supporting Black business owners to help redress the balance magically change everything overnight?  No. Has the raising of consciousness among people who previously might have switched channels when racism was being discussed? I think so. When I saw the Amish out with their Black Lives Matter signs, I knew we had hit some kind of global turning point because they don’t come out for anyone -aside from the young people doing a reality TV swap.  Let’s be clear: we have come a long way in my lifetime but the world still has a very long way to go.

When I see myself and other Black business owners being hired and getting assignments that we have previously been overlooked or considered for, I will know it is easier for Black businesses to thrive.

What advice do you have for other women looking to set up their own business?

You don’t immediately need to give up your day job. Also, entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. Sometimes it’s better to start from where you are so that you can work out whether you are suited to running your own business while having the safety net of employment.

For those who are certain and have done their research and due diligence, go for it – but don’t try to do it all alone. Get a mentor or coach. Speak to those who have walked the path before you so that you can learn from their mistakes. Plan, read and research to ensure the market wants what you are offering, rather than creating something and hoping people will like it. 

Then, follow up. Chase contacts, offers and opportunities, and when a great opportunity is offered and you possess the skills to fulfill it, don’t second guess yourself – just go for it. 

What plans do you have for your business going forwards?

World domination! I already work globally because my coaching and therapy and training sessions have been available online since 2005. I feel as though now is also the time to physically travel with my work so Australia, America, and Dubai are on my radar – those are the countries who have most embraced services like my PhotoReading™ Accelerated Learning Workshops and more in-depth 3-6 TranceFormation™ Programs.

As a response to the ‘new normal’, I also plan to put more focus back on designing and delivering corporate training and workshops; I’ve been a Flexible Working Implementation Consultant for 17 years, which sees me going into organisations to design and implement flexible and remote working best practice and strategy

I’ve also got years of experience as a Leadership Development Trainer – working on resolving race and diversity issues, which the world is now calling out for.

One of my clients and friends recently asked what I needed and how she could support me. My response was to ask that if she saw opportunities for which I’d be a good fit, she could recommend me.

I am forever optimistic about the human potential for change and transformation, even though it often comes in a messy wrapping.

You can find out more about TranceFormations™ here and Marilyn’s flexible working site here.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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What habits have you adopted in these past months of lockdown? And which have you ditched?

While lots of us have descended into poor health amid the stress of the pandemic, others have found these months restricted to the home surprisingly positive for their wellbeing – and have quit bad habits and picked up some good ones in the process.

More than a million Brits have quit smoking since the start of the coronavirus pandemic, says a report from Action on Smoking and Health. Many people say they’ve saved money and become thriftier as a result of staying home. Some have developed a new enjoyment of spending time outdoors, going for walks, or doing at-home workouts.

That’s all brilliant – but what happens when lockdown ends? Will we go right back to the way things were?

The idea of old temptations and roadblocks returning, along with a return to our old way of working and living, makes this a scary prospect.

Those of us who have ditched negative habits and developed positive ones have done so in unusual circumstances, with everything from working from home to being unable to go to the pub coming together to make habit forming and breaking possible.

It’s easy to worry that once those circumstances change, the habits we’ve curated will disappear.

Psychologist Dirk Flower explains that one of the main challenges we’ll face as we come out of lockdown is ‘the tendency to go back to old habits when the past stimuli/cues come into action with greater frequency’.

For smokers, for example, that might be the return of seeing other people smoking, going to pubs again, or the increased stress that may come with returning to the office.

For people who curbed excessive spending in lockdown, temptation will come in the form of being out and about with potential purchases in view, along with the reopening of shops, restaurants, and bars.

Those who created and stuck to a new workout routine in lockdown might struggle to keep it up as their spare time once again gets swallowed up by the commute into work and back and increased socialising to make up for lost time.

The key in avoiding the dissolution of good habits and the return of unhealthy ones is recognising that these challenges will arise and being prepared for them.

Dr Helen Rodwell thinks it’s important we don’t think of lockdown easing as a return to the old normal, instead recognising that we and the world have changed and creating a new lifestyle that works for us.

‘I think we’re all having to adjust to the idea that there is no “normal” anymore,’ she tells us. ‘Maybe its time to ditch that word and instead claim it as “getting on with different”.’

She also notes that rather than just trying to erase an unhealthy habit, it helps to replace it with a healthy one – and that’s something we can do regardless of whether we’re in lockdown.

So in the case of smokers who have been able to quit in lockdown, but are wary that they might return to the old habit of going for a cigarette break when they’re back in the office, preparation for that trigger could be getting into the habit of going for a walk or instead having a tea break whenever the temptation arises.

Going into lockdown was a time for radical change and adjustment, allowing us the space to rethink what was working for us and try new things, some of which may have then turned into positive habits we’d now like to maintain.

The problem is that as lockdown ends, we’re in second stage of change. Everything’s back up in the air and we sort of have to start from scratch.

But rather than sinking right back into the way things were pre-pandemic, we could use this as a second fresh start, where we can take the positives of our lockdown experience and work out how to make them work outside of those specific circumstances.

Now is a good time to have a serious ponder over what we’ve done in the last few months, how it was different from the old way of doing things, and work out which habits we want to nurture and grow.

The change in our day-to-day lives does mean that those habits have to be re-formed and, like we say, started from scratch. It’s not as simple as just continuing to do what we’ve done in lockdown, because many things just won’t be possible – when we’re back at the office and constantly busy, our morning runs and weekly sourdough baking might not be feasible.

But try to view this as a positive thing; a chance to reevaluate and start fresh.

There are lots of methods for creating and sticking to a habit – you can easily go down an internet hole reading about the 40-day trick and similar techniques.

The truth about habits is that there’s not really any magic trick, apart from persistence.

You can help yourself along the way by making your desired habits as easy as possible and removing as many challenges as you can – but be aware that there are some obstacles that won’t budge and that you simply need to jump over, and others that will need some sneaking around.

‘[You need to] identify the obstacles that can sabotage good habits,’ Helen says. ‘For example, I’ve taken up morning yoga but I couldn’t do this online because that meant turning on my PC, which led to me then getting distracted by emails.

‘By instead using an audio recording of Yoga on a different device I did not have to use a pc, and hence did not see any emails.’

Eventually, after days, weeks, and months of making yourself do something, it’ll become a fully fledged habit that’s part of your routine. You just need to push through the ‘making yourself do something’ bit, and commit to saying ‘yep, I’m going to do it’ even when you really, really want to say ‘nope’.

‘I’ve heard of the 40-day rule and I think it works for some but not everyone,’ says Helen. ‘The key thing is to replace a bad habit with a better habit.

‘Then incorporate that better habit so that it becomes part of your daily routine – ideally something that doesn’t need any planning or thought. For example, leave your trainers ready for your morning run.’

It’s vital, too, not to view one misstep as an epic failure and give up, or to give yourself targets that simply aren’t reasonable as part of your post-pandemic lifestyle.

Take some time now to write down the habits you want to carry through past the end of lockdown, assess the challenges you’ll face, and plan the tools and tricks you’ll use to get around those setbacks.

That preparation should allow you to go forth and do what feels good – but, as we say, the real work is the persistence and determination of doing it over and over until it’s routine.

If you miss a day, don’t beat yourself up. Accept that you’re not perfect, doing what’s best for you can be tough, and jump back in tomorrow with a positive outlook.

‘When dealing with challenges, I’d say be kind to yourself,’ says Helen. ‘Try to not to criticise yourself.

‘Remember that you are always with you, so try try be your own best friend.’

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It’s the year of the staycation for most people, with travel restrictions still in place putting a halt to many holiday plans and other people simply feeling a little too nervous to go too far from home.

It’s also the year that cottagecore has really taken over our Instagram feeds, as people find beauty in nature and homely touches, which has spilled into our travel plans as well as our day-to-day.

When it comes to British beauty spots, there are loads to choose from, but Bankrate has made things a little easier with a research project looking at the destinations we hashtag most.

From their data, they’ve found the mosy Insta-friendly staycation locations in the UK, and they’re all stunning.

While summers past might have seen us posting pics of a suite in Mykonos or an infinity pool in Marbs, we’re all about the rolling hills and B&Bs this time around.

1. Clovelly, Devon

This Devon village got top spot, which is no surprise when you see the twee cobbled roads and winding, cliffside streets.

It is a surprise when you realise there are just two hotels and two pubs in the village, which shows that sometimes exclusivity and secludedness are what sell.

In Susan Coolidge’s In the High Valley, part of the Katy series, a walk into Clovelly is described: ‘A more extraordinary thing in the way of a street does not exist in the known world.

‘The little village is built on the sides of a crack in a tremendous cliff; the “street” is merely the bottom of the crack, into which the ingenuity of man has fitted a few stones, set slant-wise, with intersecting ridges on which the foot can catch as it goes slipping hopelessly down.’

2. Portmeirion, Wales

Portmeirion is known for pottery and The Prisoner (as the setting for the 1960s drama).

Despite being located in Gwynedd in Wales, you might feel like you were in Lake Como, as the village was designed to look like something in Italy.

The tourist village is in a postmodern style and makes a perfect spot for getting colourful shots for the ‘gram.

3. Castle Combe, Wiltshire

The Castle Combe motor racing circuit is no doubt a pull for some of the tourists who visited the location, but the views probably helped sell it too.

The village has seen crews come to use it as a family location for movies and shows such as War Horse, Dr Doolittle, and Downton Abbey.

4. Castleton, Derbyshire

This Peak District village dates back to as far back as the Domesday Book in 1086, and is the location of Peveril’s Castle.

Tourists can visit the local museum or any of the caverns in the area, staying at one of the many guest houses or pubs.

If you visit on 29 May you’ll also get to witness the traditional Garland Day, where a Garland King is paraded around the streets wearing an extremely large garland of flowers.

5. Grasmere, Lake District

Right in the heart of the Lake District, this village was the home of William Wordsworth who called Grasmere ‘the loveliest spot that man hath ever found.’

There’s plenty going on here throughout the year, from the annual Rushmere procession to the Grasmere Sports event featuring Cumberland wrestling and fell running.

The locally-made gingerbread is also a must-try.

6. Bourton-on-the-Water, The Cotswolds

Bourton-on-the-Water is known as Venice of the Cotswolds due to its extensive waterways that line the streets.

Despite only having just over 3,000 residents, around 300,000 people a year descend on the village to stay.

Most of the area is a nature reserve, meaning wildlife spotters and photographers have plenty to look at.

7. Robin Hood’s Bay, North Yorkshire

Head to the North Yorkshire Moors to see Robin Hood’s Bay right on the coast.

This former smuggler’s hotspot now gets by through tourism mostly, along with a little bit of fishing.

The village featured in the films Wild Child and Phantom Thread, as well as in scenes in Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

8. Bamburgh, Northumberland

The award-winning beach in Bamburgh is sure to excite anyone heading for a staycation here, as well as the huge castle that’s features in countless novels and films.

There’s lots to do in the area memorialising Victorian seafaring heroine Grace Darling, as well as simply chilling by the seaside and walking in the country.

9. Bibury, The Cotswolds

Another Cotswolds village makes the cut here, with people clearly loving cottages and nature.

The Arlington Row cottages you see above are located in Bibury and are used in the British passport, drawing hundreds of visitors from the UK to see the cottages for themselves.

If you choose to visit, expect cute tea houses and pubs galore.

10. Corfe Castle, Dorset

Corfe Castle was a Saxon stronghold and Norman fortress, so definitely a staycation for any history buffs.

The Dorset village has an adorable model of itself from past years in the middle of the square, and you can visit the castle and other National Trust attractions along with taking walks and enjoying country pub pints.

Do you have a story you’d like to share?

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We’ve all been taken in by something that appears much grander than it really is – a pitfall made all the more common by online shopping and Instagram ads.

One poor dog has learned the lesson that objects online might not be what they appear.

Darcy, a two-year-old Newfoundland who absolutely loves the water, was looking forward to cooling down in the heat in a doggy pool her owner, Chelsea Sparks, had ordered online.

But when the ‘pool’ arrived, it was the size of a water bowl.

Poor old Darcy was left terribly disappointed.

Chelsea, 28, from Shorne, Kent, wanted to get Darcy her very own pool ahead of the heatwave, and was excited when her stepdad called to say he’d found a bargain pool for just £15.

Her stepdad told Chelsea the pool might take a while to arrive as it would be coming all the way from China.

Six weeks later, Chelsea received a tiny package in the mail, with a miniscule ‘dog pool’ inside.

Lawyer Chelsea said: ‘Darcy absolutely loves water. Every time we take her to the dog park she gets straight in. So when the weather picked up my stepdad ordered her a pool online.

‘He described the pool as a ‘bargain’ and said we may have to wait a little longer than usual as it was coming from China.

‘When it was delivered we didn’t know what it was as it was folded up so small.

‘When we realised it was the dog pool we thought it was hysterical. We then put the pool next to Darcy and took a photo.’

Chelsea said her stepdad had seen the pool advertised on Facebook with pictures of big dogs getting in and out of it with ease.

Despite feeling scammed, both she and her stepdad thought it was hilarious and decided to post it online, where photos of disappointed Darcy quickly racked up nearly 20,000 likes, comments and shares.

Chelsea added: ‘We think it may have been a scam, however we were so entertained we didn’t give it much thought.

‘My stepdad isn’t very technical so he didn’t realise. He hasn’t contacted the company yet, I am going to help him with this in the coming days.

‘We sent photos to our friends, who all thought it was comical. That is when I decided to post it online to a dog group, as I knew they would find it funny too.’

Don’t worry too much about Darcy. After the initial disappointment, the pup was treated to a new family-sized pool ordered from Amazon.

It turned up as advertised, big enough for Darcy to clamber in and out of and have a nice soak.

Happy splashing, Darcy.

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Another day, another TikTok challenge – only this one doesn’t have a catchy tune in the background.

The 75 Hard Challenge is the brainchild of entreprenteur and Real AF podcaster Andy Frisella, who set it up as a ‘transformative mental toughness program’, and all over social media, people are posting their transformation photos.

You could be forgiven for thinking that this is a fitness challenge – after all, most people look dramatically more toned at the end of the 75 days. But Andy insists that this is not a fitness programme.

He writes on his website: ‘Are there physical changes? Yes! But trust me when I say the physical changes you see on the outside are a FRACTION of the results you can earn by completing 75 HARD’.

What is the #75Hard Challenge?

It’s all about zero compromise, zero substitution and if you fail, you’ve got to go back to day one. So that’s 75 days of full commitment with the threat of having to start the whole thing over if you don’t manage to do these six things every day.

It sounds super simple, right? You could, for example, go keto for 75 days or give a plant-based diet a crack. You might start every day by waking up an hour early to read your ten pages before going for a 45-minute walk or run – and finishing with a 45-minute yoga practice. Daily pictures and lots of water (4.5 litres) aren’t that hard either.

But no cheat meals for over two months? Absolutely no booze during the summer? That’s where things start to sound a little tricky.

These six tasks, Andy says, have been designed to develop all of the characteristics you lack in life that have landed you where you are at.

He says: ‘The physical transformations that occur are just the by-product of the mental transformations you will make. You will be tempted to cheat and compromise. You will not be tempted by me … you will be tempted by yourself. You will be tempted to try to change things a little to suit you and your “special lifestyle.” But that right there is the root of every problem in your life.’

Over lockdown, you might have felt out of control, uninspired and a little lost. Those of us who spent a lot of time down the gym have suddenly been cut adrift – plagued by injuries from overdoing it on the running and thrown off course by endless sourdough starters. This kind of programme that allows you to essentially write your own script sounds like the perfect antidote, right?

‘Quick fixes are not sustainable or healthy,’ Sonya Barlow, founder of Like-Minded Females, tells Metro.co.uk.

‘The #75Hard challenge asks for no particular “diet”, though the word “diet” itself has many different definitions. I also believe that setting rules such as “one workout to be done outside” is presumptuous and unsafe. If your area or neighbourhood isn’t the safest, you still have to stick to this and go outside. This is just an example of how it’s not inclusive.’

So what does a fitness professional say about that diet and exercise element?

Hannah Lewin is a female-focused personal trainer who says her main concern is that Andy ‘isn’t qualified’ to write this kind of challenge.

‘The challenge comprises physical and diet-based components, as well as mental elements – and the creator has no qualifications in any of these,’ she says.

‘The requirement to simply “follow a diet” is concerning – there is no specification as to what this is, and the banning of alcohol and cheat meals seems unnecessarily restrictive.

‘We know that there is considerable evidence around diets not working and this rather seems to set people up to fail. The physical element of 2 x 45 minutes a day may not be suitable for those with beginner levels of fitness and I would be concerned that this would be daunting, carry and injury risk and prevent future exercise.

‘It is simply isn’t a sustainable exercise plan.’

And then, of course, you have to consider the fact that we’re supposed to stick to this plan during a global pandemic.

‘The idea that anyone that doesn’t stick to this highly restrictive, unnatural plan for 75 days is somehow not mentally tough is totally derogatory – particularly in the current circumstances,’ Hannah adds.

The thing about wellness is that it’s not supposed to be gruelling. It’s supposed to be nourishing – helping us to form a better relationship with ourselves.

‘This is an extreme form of “doing wellness” that sadly us wellness professionals are seeing far too much of these days,’ explains life coach Jade Ecobichon-Gray, founder of Mindset Matters.

‘Wellness isn’t supposed to hurt, you are not supposed to be at war with yourself. This “go hard or go home” mentality isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

‘While you may find yourself sporting abs in 75 days while repeating a bootcamp-style mantra on repeat, wellness professionals too often see the beginnings of restrictive and disordered eating, a heightened and frankly unhealthy need for control over everything and an almost abject terror of missing a workout at the detriment to the genuine enjoyment of social activities and social connection.’

So what is wellness?

Well, Jade says that it’s got almost nothing to do with what our bodies look like. It’s nothing to do with green smoothies or workouts.

‘Wellness requires rest as much as exercise, it requires the ability to sometimes relinquish control as much as the formation of a positive routine, it requires softness and kindness as much as motivation and discipline,’ she says. ‘Nurturing your mind empowers you to identify what wellness looks like to you, not what society tells you it should be.

‘If you feel ready to make a change to your lifestyle, that’s fantastic but please be kind to yourself in the process and remember that you are already worthy just as you are!’

Sonya highlights that as a TikTok trend, the 75 Hard Challenge could potentially be dangerous for younger audiences who are trying to develop a healthy relationship between body, mind and soul.

‘Habits are formed in 66 – 90 days, so this challenge should be done with care,’ Sonya explains. ‘As individuals, we should definitely be drinking water, reading motivational books and exercising. However, we should be executing in a method that is good for our body, livelihood and mental health, rather than following Instagram hashtags. 

‘One of the most important processes I take my clients through is why they’re going on a journey – what is the end goal? What impact is to be created? What is the safest and most healthy way to get there?’

Nick Hatter is a leading UK life coach who is qualified in positive psychology and neuro-linguistic programming (a psychological approach used for goal-hitting) who is a little less scathing of the challenge, pointing out that it might have some real benefits.

‘I like the idea of educating yourself and always learning,’ he tells Metro.co.uk

‘Having said this, the self-help market is a little saturated with rules, habits and advice; often the advice goes in one ear, and out the other! Instead, it’s a good idea to consider doing some self-coaching, asking yourself questions such as “Am I running from anything? (eg. fear, resentment, shame)”, “What can I do to improve the quality of my life?” and “What can I accept or change today?”.’

When it comes to taking a photo every day, Nick acknowledges that it’s good to measure progress but says that he’s ‘not sure about doing it daily; people can get frustrated when they don’t see results. It might be better to do it weekly’.

Going booze-free, however, is ‘definitely a good choice!’

‘Alcohol is a depressant, it can often make you feel more anxious or low the next day,’ says Andy. ‘It also loosens inhibitions, which can cause you to reach for junk food (3am pizza or kebab, anyone?), not to mention the extra calories from alcoholic beverages. Furthermore, hangovers make exercise the last thing you want to do!’

If you are trying this kind of programme, he recommends adding two further elements to the proceedings:

1. Call a few friends every day – we all need to have connection adn belonging and those who feel isolated tend to have worse mental and phsyical health. If you don’t have many friends, make some. Stay in touch via FaceTime/Zoom, join an nline community, try virtual meetups and speeddating.
2. Write a gratitude list every day – research has shown that when we express gratitude, we become more optimistic and feel better about ourselves.

So, should you join the #75HardChallenge? Well, it’s up to you. If you’re looking for routine, you could take inspiration from it and make your own – more flexible – regime… but then it wouldn’t really be the 75 Hard Challenge at all. The whole thing is premised on the idea of having no compromise.

This challenge will work for some people, that’s without doubt. But if you’re one of the thousands who have a history of disordered eating, unhealthy exercise patterns and issues around control, this might just tip you over the edge.

75 days is a long old time and the idea that you’re not allowed even one reprieve is really difficult. It means pushing your body and mind beyond what might be good and natural.

Read ten pages every day – great. Drink a stack of water. Take photos of yourself so that you can feel good and bask in your beauty (you don’t have to take unflattering before and after pictures, just take ones of you feeling good). Eat well and move as much as you can.

But have a serious think about whether it’s going to do more harm than good by following something as all-consuming as the 75 Hard Challenge.

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If you’re still feeling wiped out months after having had coronavirus, rest assured that you’re not alone. It turns out that loads of people are living with a host of symptoms ages after they’ve been ill – including overwhelming fatigue, palpitations, muscle aches and more.

According to the COVID Symptom Study app, around 10% of the 3.9 million people who have been logging symptoms have experienced ongoing issues for more than four weeks. And chronic fatigue is one of them.

Frances Williams, professor of genomic epidemiology and honorary consultant rheumatologist at King’s College London, says that this kind of tiredness can be completely disabling.

Writing in The Conversation, she says that if 1% of the 290,000 people who been diagnosed with coronavirus in the UK remain under the weather for three months, that means thousands of people being unable to return to work and the NHS being overwhelmed by a load of patients who live with complex needs.

So what’s causing this overwhelming exhaustion?

Visit our live blog for the latest updates: Coronavirus news live

Frances explains that lasting fatigue can follow viral infections but that we don’t always know why.

One 2019 study found that when a chemical called interferon-alpha was given to people as a treatment for hepatitis C, many patients seemed to develop a flu-like illness while others experienced post-viral fatigue.

This ‘artificial infection response’ has been studied as a model of chronic fatigue. Researchers found that baseline levels of two molecules in the body that promote inflammation – interleukin-6 and interleukin-10 – predicted people’s subsequent development of chronic fatigue. That model is now being assessed to see how inflammation can be reduced when treating severe COVID-19 responses.

To get to the bottom of this, Frances and her team at King’s College London are looking at the genetic and environmental factors tat influence disease by studying twins. They’re going to be sending out questionnaires to volunteer adult twins to see if they can define ‘post-COVID syndrome’ – looking at markers in the blood to shed light on the immune markers contributing to long-term symptoms.

‘This will be a challenging study to design: people with COVID-19 have had more than just a viral infection in the normal run of things,’ she writes.

‘Their illness has taken place during unprecedented social change, restriction in movement, and a time of great anxiety and difficult-to-quantify risks – all accompanied by 24-hour rolling news. Some patients have been very sick at home and thought themselves close to death.

‘For this reason, we’ll also be examining post-traumatic stress, as the interpretation of reported symptoms must be set in context.’

In the meantime, what should you do if you think you’re living with coronavirus fatigue?

Frances recommends swerving exercise and prioritising rest.

‘The important thing to stress is that taking out a gym membership and pushing exercise is the wrong thing to do and can set people back considerably.

‘Small efforts – mental or physical – should be followed by rest. Return to work, when it happens, should be a gradual and graded process. Learning to pace activities is very much the order of the day.’

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For anyone who has periods there are times you might simply wish you could expel the blood from your body and not have to deal with the mess and discomfort.

That seems to be the thinking behind a product called the Blossom Brush, a pink (of course) tool that’s designed to ‘clean’ the inside of your vagina.

The rubber device is supposed to be inserted into the vagina once-daily while on your period to ‘remove debris’ and help people ‘feel more fresh’.

Similar to a tongue scraper – but for the vagina – the creators of the Blossom claim that it can be used to reduce the number of tampons or pads needed during a cycle (although it is not marketed as a medical product that can lighten your periods).

But the brush hasn’t seemed to have had the reaction its creators may have wanted, as people across the internet – including well-known gynaecologist Dr Jen Gunter – have criticised it publicly.

Dr Jen, who regularly comments on product launches or changes in legislation surrounding women’s bodies wrote on Twitter: ‘Every day it seems as if someone comes up with a new and thoroughly unnecessary, yet harmful vaginal cleaning product marketed as empowerment. I present to you today’s entry.’

This tweet, along with a picture of the Blossom Brush, has now been liked over 9,000 times, with scores of comments pouring in from Dr Jen’s followers.

In response, Blossom Brush released a statement on Instagram that read: ‘Here at Blossom Brush we developed a medical grade, silicon rubber brush that we brought to the market with good intentions.

‘The product has been safe to use among the women who have tried it, and we have had an overwhelmingly positive response among the women who have already used it.

‘The benefits have included less usage of tampons and a reduction in the number of days a woman required feminine hygiene products.

‘We do not believe that ANY PERSON has a “dirty” vagina and we wish to work with the gynaecological community and people who have periods to understand how to appropriately provide women with a new choice in their menstrual management.’

Along with comments of support for the brand, many others popped up from those criticising the product for adding to the amount of menstrual product waste out there.

One commenter also said: ‘This tool will only increase your chance of infections and disruption of your pH balance.

‘The Vagina cleans itself, this product is useless and a scam. Do not buy if you are the owner of a menstruating vagina.’

The Blossom Brush is a product designed to be used only during one cycle for cleanliness reasons, and costs around $20 (£15.91) not including shipping.

It’s not suitable for people trying to get pregnant, those who are already pregnant, or those who are less than three months postpartum. It’s also unsuitable for those with IUDs.

Vaginas are self-cleaning, and products such as period pants or menstrual cups can offer a solution for people looking to decrease their usage of tampons or pads.

Dr Jen commented further saying: ‘Cleaning inside the vagina in this way is associated with an increased risk of damaging the vaginal ecosystem and increasing the risk of STIs if exposed and as an OB/GYN I would never recommend it.’

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In the beginning, Eric* was lovely.

We met when I was 26, at a local football game and within months we were inseparable. He would spoil me with gifts, take me to fancy restaurants and whisk me off on last-minute holidays. Eric did everything he could to reel me in.

I had never experienced anything like it with a man before, and it provided a false sense of security.

In hindsight, there were warning signs even then.

Eric would often go out with his male friends and return home drunk and angry, telling stories about how they had been in big fights. I was disgusted by the violence, but thought that it was other men who had started it – I wasn’t getting the real story.

Two years into our relationship, he started directing this behaviour towards me.

It started slowly, with spitting in my face and calling me names. The first time Eric hit me was in our local pub. We had been out for lunch when some of his friends came over; he said ‘what are you looking at, you slag’ and slapped me in the face, in front of them.

I got really upset, ran out the door and went to my mum’s house, but I didn’t tell her what had happened.

I was heartbroken. I couldn’t understand why Eric had changed all of a sudden, and hoped that it would never happen again – so, I went back.

After that, he started treating me like a punching bag. It was always my ‘fault’ and eventually, I started to believe this. I wondered what I’d done wrong, and the more I tried to do the ‘right’ thing, the worse the abuse got. I would clean the house or cook, but if it wasn’t right Eric would throw his food up the wall or in my face. If I didn’t put his socks on properly, I would get struck in the face with a slipper.

Once, he beat me up and even stamped on my head, because a friend had visited our house and I had forgotten to tell him about it. I was in such bad shape that he put me up in a hotel for a week so that no one in our neighbourhood would see the damage.

I was never allowed to go the hospital, not even once he started stabbing me in the legs with a knife – small cuts that hurt and went black, but that weren’t bad enough that I would need urgent medication attention. It got so bad that I had to use a stick to walk with.

Sometimes, I would escape. I would run to the woods nearby, where I hid for a full day and night, before being dragged back home. I was terrified. For the last three years of our relationship, I wasn’t allowed to leave the house at all, except for Sunday dinner at my mum’s, to keep up appearances.

My parents knew what was going on, but didn’t know what to do. I was too frightened to tell the police and they were more interested in Eric for other crimes (the extent of which I learned much further down the line).

On the few occasions someone did call the police, they would ask me – in front of my ex – if I wanted to press charges. I was too scared to report him, because I worried that there would be repercussions, that he would hurt my family.

And the one time I did speak up, he was detained for three days but then his family and friends started threatening me to drop the charges – so I did, and there was no further action.

I also still loved Eric. I had been brainwashed and made to believe that no one liked me, that I wasn’t a nice person. I was a workaholic before we met and now I didn’t have a job, because he had convinced me that I didn’t need one.

I know now that this is coercive control, but at the time I didn’t understand anything about this type of abuse.

In the final six months before I left, the violence escalated. Eric was sleep-depriving me, as well as beating me. He would wake me up every few hours by throwing hot or cold water in my face, tried to drug me once by putting pills in my coffee, and dragged me by my hair around our garden.

On the day I finally escaped, I was shoved in the car while getting punched in the head over and over. Eric was taking me to a secluded beach and I knew that if I didn’t get out, I would die.

At a roundabout I flung myself out of the car, breaking my foot in the process.

Another car stopped and I jumped inside, begging the driver, who it turns out was an acquaintance of mine, to take me to my mum’s house. I was still too afraid to go to the police station.

Mum took me to the hospital, where they fixed up my foot but didn’t notice my other injuries – including a stab wound in my leg. Once they had patched me up, a friend drove me to a refuge in the next town.

I didn’t know what to expect, but had imagined it as a sort of prison or dormitory. In reality, it was a lovely building, where lots of other women and children lived. There was also CCTV everywhere and you needed a fob to get in. Straight away, I felt safe.

That night was the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had.

Even though I was relieved to have escaped from Eric, I was still terrified and it took me a long time to trust the support workers enough to share my story. I was signed up to the 12-week ‘freedom programme’, based on a book by Pat Craven that explains domestic abuse – what it is and the signs to look out for. It helped me understand what I’d been though.

Above all, I was cared for. There was always someone there if I needed to talk, and slowly the refuge workers helped me build up my confidence again.

Six months after I arrived, I applied for a restraining order from Eric, which was granted. I’ve seen him once since then, in passing. I lifted my head up high and decided that I wouldn’t even acknowledge his presence. It was empowering.

However, I still constantly worry that he is abusing someone else.

For any woman or man out there who is in abusive relationship, know that there are people who will support you – seek their help. And if you’re a neighbour who suspects something, however small it may be, please, call the police.

It took months for the court outcome to sink in, but once it did, I started to feel better and braver.

I reached out to my old friends, I started going out more, I got a job and moved into my own flat. I got my life back.

About 18 months ago, I also contacted the refuge and now work there as a volunteer, helping other women. Without their support, I wouldn’t be the person I am today so I want to give back to others.

I almost can’t believe the sheer horror of what I’ve experienced. And I never thought I’d have another relationship.

It’s been hard to trust and let people back in, but a few years ago, I met Alex*.

He knows everything (it really upsets him), and he’s a truly nice man who treats me so well.

Looking back, a decade later, it’s as if what happened to me is someone else’s life.

But now I finally know what real love is meant to feel like. I’m happy.

*Names have been changed.

Susan works as a volunteer with the domestic abuse support charity, Inspire North, which is currently running an awareness campaign called #NoExcuseForAbuse.

Do you have a story that you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing almara.abgarian@metro.co.uk.

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‘You’ve got darker!’

It has taken me a while to accept this sentence as complimentary, as most people in this tan-obsessed society mean it to be. 

This is because whenever it was said to me as a child, especially by fellow members of the Indian community, it was done so with the exact opposite intent: a jarring insult committed to diminishing the self-worth of young girls like me.

It may sound dramatic, but within communities of colour, prejudice against darker-skinned members is rife. The deeper the shade of brown, the deeper the connotations of ugliness and inadequacy. Even if only by a couple of hues, I’ve always been darker than my family members and most other Indian friends – and I’ve always been distinctly aware of it.

It’s the reason I loathed the skin I was born in and did everything I could to lighten it.

I tried homemade turmeric, yoghurt and lemon juice scrubs – which unsurprisingly always got into cuts. I religiously lathered my face with fairness creams that promised to lighten me up, rigorously overly-exfoliated my skin after an unwanted tan, and even let my aunt take me for a bleach-based facial when on holiday in India. 

Unsurprisingly, none of my skin-lightening attempts worked. I’m so grateful for this now, but my younger teenage self was heart-broken. Given how taboo conversations around colourism were (the term refers to skin tone-based prejudice and discrimination) and in many cases still are, I never shared these struggles with friends and family.

It was only recently that I learned other close friends, both men and women, were going through the exact same thing. This toxic complex was, until now, my own dirty secret.

We, like so many others, are casualties of colourism. These destructive ideals are rampant in communities across the UK, especially within those of South Asian, African and Middle Eastern heritage.

The damaging narrative of ‘the lighter the better’ is perpetuated by all aspects of these cultures. Lighter-skinned actors, models and other public figures are consistently overrepresented in mainstream media.

Relatives make inappropriate comments about skin tone as readily as they do about weight, and openly discourage you from spending too much time in the sun. At weddings I’ve heard the murmurs judging the shade of a bride more than her dress, which is unsurprising given how studies have illustrated that darker skin reduces your marriageability. Even unemployment and sentencing rates are lessened if you are lighter skinned.

Fairness was, and still is, overvalued. Why is this the case?

Like with most things, it depends on whom you ask. In India, the roots of this phenomenon can be found in colonialism and the caste system, both of which perpetuated and preserved white supremacy.

In African communities, there are ties to slavery and the ‘preferential treatment’ shown by white slave-masters towards lighter skinned individuals.

Clearly this is a problem that extends beyond just people of colour in faraway lands.

In the wake of the Black Lives Matter movement, conversations around this topic have thankfully re-emerged. After all, the foundations for colourism lie within the grander pantheon of racism.

Brands have been called out for their actions, especially those behind the pernicious skin-lightening creams. The physical implications of their use are disturbing: many contain harmful ingredients such as mercury and hydroquinone, which can cause skin damage, organ malfunction and poisoning.

But there is an emotional cost too: the self-worth of young and impressionable women and men are on the line.

Indeed, one Unilever brand called Fair & Lovely has been at the centre of a media storm. They recently vowed to remove the words ‘fair’, ‘white’ and ‘light’ from their advertising, as well as change the name of their product to ‘Glow & Lovely’. This superficial, and rather predictable, re-branding exercise means nothing. It doesn’t address the damage done.

I used their products during every family holiday in India, as did others I know. It is a household name, advertised extensively and sold in every shop. People will always associate this company with the idolisation of whiteness, no matter what it is called. Every bottle sold is complicit in the narrative that fairness is synonymous with beauty.

So to really tackle the problem, the company should take a leaf out of Johnson & Johnson’s book, and simply ban the product all together. Yet given Fair & Lovely’s profits are over £325m annually in India alone, it doesn’t take a genius to see why they are staying put.

Unfortunately, the responsibility once again is left with the consumer. It is we who have to actively boycott these brands, and challenge their usage. 

We need to question why the UK are one of the greatest exporters of these products, despite their sale being illegal within our borders.

Most importantly of all, conversations around the pervasiveness of colourism and the way it negatively impacts our societies need to become normalised. I’ve been guilty of avoiding them too: they can be uncomfortable, exposing and shame-inducing.

I don’t like being reminded of how stupid I was for using these products in the first place. Even though I now know that it wasn’t my fault – I was simply buying into cultural norms – no one enjoys having their insecurities laid bare.

These very discussions have helped me come to grips with the matter, however, and ensure I don’t pass these toxic views onto others, especially younger girls who are as impressionable as I was. It has reminded me that I also need to recognise my privilege compared to those who are even darker-skinned than I am.  

I now call out any of the harmful colourist comments I hear from grandparents and other relatives, whether or not they’re aimed at me. It doesn’t mean it always works – after all, colourism has been engrained in their minds for longer than I’ve been alive – but occasionally it can lead to reflection and fruitful discussions, or at the very least a welcome end to those conversations for a while. These small victories are still important ones.

Having said all this, I’m far from cured. I still tense up a bit when I know a sunny walk, or a beachy swim is going to leave me a few shades darker.

But through educating myself, I’m learning to appreciate that my gloriously high melanin count is a gift; a gift that allows such a beautiful transition from Caramel Cream to Hazelnut Truffle (Dulux’s words, not mine).

I’ve still got a bottle of Fair & Lovely cream hiding in the depths of a bedroom drawer. I’ll be chucking it out today.

Do you have a story that you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing rosy.edwards@metro.co.uk

Share your views in the comments below.

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This Sunday is World Ice Cream Day and to celebrate, Deliveroo is giving away lots of sweet treats.

You can enjoy free tubs of Häagen-Dazs with your meal in cities across the UK.

Anyone ordering a meal today (Sunday) from restaurant brands in the eleven Deliveroo Editions sites across the country, from London, Manchester, Leeds, Nottingham to Brighton, will receive two minicups of Häagen-Dazs for free in their order.

The two free 95ml tubs could be one of four flavours – vanilla, macadamia nut brittle, pralines & cream or cookies & cream.

Arabella Jenkins at Deliveroo said: ‘According to Deliveroo data, Sunday is the nation’s favourite day to eat Ice Cream – we see more order demand on this day than any other in the week. Nothing comforts the Sunday Blues quite like it.

‘As this Sunday is actually World Ice Cream Day, Deliveroo has teamed up with Häagen-Dazs to spread some ice-cream love to our customers ordering from restaurants in Deliveroo Editions.’

Back in May, when the weather was warm and we were still in lockdown, Deliveroo noticed a 412% increase in people using the app to by ice cream.

As temperatures creep up again, Deliveroo is expecting to see a similar surge in demand.

The sites you can order from and get a free ice cream are:

• Whitechapel (London)
• Battersea York Road (London)
• Battersea Culvert Place (London)
• Crouch End (London)
• Blackwall (London)
• Bermondsey (London)
• Swiss Cottage (London)
• Manchester
• Leeds
• Nottingham
• Brighton

If you want more tips and tricks on saving money, as well as chat about cash and alarms on deals and discounts, join Money Pot, our new Facebook group.

Do you have a money saving tip to share?

Get in touch at metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk.

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Princess Beatrice didn’t have the traditional huge royal wedding, instead opting for an intimate secret ceremony in Windsor.

And when it came to her dress, she decided not to go for a bespoke designer dress like other recent royal brides, instead upcycling a dress given to her by her grandmother the Queen.

Beatrice married Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi at the Royal Chapel of All Saints at Royal Lodge, Windsor, on Friday.

Images released over the weekend give the first glimpse of what the simple day was like, with just the couple, their parents, siblings and the Queen and Prince Philip in attendance.

The photographs show Beatrice wearing the Peau De Soie taffeta dress by Norman Hartnell.

It’s believed the Queen first wore the dress for a state dinner held in honour of the then Italian President Giovanni Gronchi at the British Embassy in Rome on 4 May 1961 that year.

But she wore it again to the world premiere of Lawrence Of Arabia at the Odeon Leicester Square in December 1962 and for her speech in the House of Lords in 1966.

The white statin gown is covered in beaded embroidery from the neckline right down to the mid-thigh.

To update the dress for her wedding, Beatrice chose to add some puff sleeves as well as removing the underskirts and the bubble hem, replacing it with a silk trim.

The vintage dress was remodelled and fitted by the Queen’s senior dresser Angela Kelly and designer Stewart Parvin, Buckingham Palace said.

The Queen also loaned the tiara she wore on her own wedding day in 1947 to Beatrice.

The diamond fringe tiara was made in 1919 from a necklace gifted from Queen Victoria to Queen Mary.

Queen Elizabeth planned to wear the tiara from her own grandmother on her wedding day but it snapped on the morning of the wedding.

Luckily, following some emergency repairs, she walked down the aisle wearing the tiara to marry Prince Philip.

Princess Anne also wore the tiara for her wedding to Mark Phillip in 1973.

A royal author said that the Queen loaning the items to Beatrice was an ‘act of solidarity’ following the controversy around her father Prince Andrew’s relationship with Jeffery Epstein.

Although the Duke of York attended the wedding and walked his daughter down the aisle, he was not featured in any of the official photographs.

Penny Junor told the PA news agency: ‘It’s really touching that the Queen showed such solidarity with her, especially with the tiara that she herself was married in speaks volumes.

‘I think it shows how fond her grandparents are of her, it’s really heartwarming.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch at metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk.

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Unlike with most teens, cleaning is a hobby for Hannah Rhodes.

The 16-year-old started helping her mum clean their home two years ago and she quickly realised she loved doing it.

Now she likes nothing more than spending hours polishing the bath taps and scrubbing the kitchen floor, and even spends her pocket money on cleaning products.

Hard working Hannah spends up to five hours a day scrubbing, mopping and wiping.

She’s a huge fan of Mrs. Hinch and has launched her own ‘cleanfluencer’ account which already has 4,000 followers who tune in for her daily tips and videos.

Hannah had always wanted to create her own Instagram account inspired by Mrs. Hinch but didn’t want to be distracted from completing her GCSEs.

After her school was closed in March and her exams were cancelled due to Covid-19, Hannah decided it was time to share her love of cleaning with Instagram.

The teenager, from Middlesbrough, North Yorkshire, dreams of running her own cleaning business in the future.

Hannah said: ‘I just love the satisfaction at the end when everything is shiny and all tiny.

‘I prefer to spend my pocket money wisely on new products from B&M and Home Bargains that I then post about on my Instagram account.

‘I Iove how cleaning keeps my mental health stable as I clean to take my mind off of things.

‘I love that cleaning can keep me from being bored and it passes the time.’

Hannah used to spend around £10 a week on products but now she has a good collection, it’s gone down to £6.

The youngster posts about cleaning products she has bought with her pocket money and dreams of reaching the heights of Mrs. Hinch’s success.

After making a video with other cleaning fans voicing their support for Mrs Hinch, Hannah has even become friends with the famous Instagram mum.

Hannah said: ‘Mrs. Hinch has massively inspired me and she’s been so nice and supportive of my Instagram account.

‘I have some friends I’ve made through cleaning and we put a video together for her to help her as she gets a lot of trolls and she saw it and asked to be added to our group chat to thank us all!

‘Mrs. Hinch always says how proud she is of us and no matter how tough things get to keep on going because she can see potential in everyone.

‘She tells us just to be ourselves and no one else, and she also comments on my photos sometimes too!’

After lockdown, Hannah plans to study childcare at Middlesbrough College in September but hopes to turn her passion for cleaning into a business in the future.

She said: ‘I would definitely hope to have my own cleaning business in the future!

‘I really do have a passion and want to turn it into a business so hopefully I can!

‘I have a goal to try get 10,000 followers by my one year on instagram, that is my dream.’

Good luck Hannah!

Do you have a story?

Email metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk to tell us more.

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For years my family have struggled in our own personal lockdown while the rest of the world carried on around us.

I’m a full time carer for our disabled daughter, Ava, and my husband works as a contracts manager to support us. We live just outside of Chelmsford in Essex, along with my other child, George, who is 15.

Shortly after Ava was born in 2007, she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and complex epilepsy. She is non-verbal and blind. Her conditions are classed as life-threatening and life-limiting, meaning she requires 24/7 care.

When news of coronavirus hit, I convinced myself it was another form of flu. We spend our lives making daily risk-assessments about what is safe for Ava depending on her rapidly changing health needs.

Just the simple act of waking my daughter up in the morning may induce seizures. If we go out with Ava for the day, we have to think where we can – with dignity – regularly reposition her fully dislocated hips in order to manage the pain. If it’s too hot or cold, she can’t regulate her own body temperature so she can become poorly very quickly.

The day that lockdown was announced on March 23 changed everything.

I remember watching the evening news with the family in a state of utter panic, as the tears rolled down my face.

As Boris Johnson directed everyone to ‘stay at home’, I thought about how Ava had an admission at Great Ormond Street Hospital just two days from then for a bone infusion to help strengthen her bone density.

I immediately worried that it would be cancelled or postponed – and it was double edged when GOSH called to say it was still on, as I knew I’d have to take Ava on my own without carers to help me.

We were facing weeks and possibly months without carers because we couldn’t risk Ava being exposed to the virus. The usual coughs and colds can make her poorly enough and this new threat had already killed an alarming amount of elderly and vulnerable people. 

My mind raced back to the memory of Ava being resuscitated following a seizure, brought on by a simple infection, when she was nearly two. I watched a paramedic run with her lifeless body in his arms through to the rescue department in A&E. He clearly didn’t think she was going to make it and came back to check on her later in the day. I will never forget his face.

Ava could easily become a statistic if we didn’t take lockdown seriously.

I was frantically messaging other parents in our special needs community who helped to calm me down and gain some focus.

Within a few days, this intense fear abated and strangely, it almost felt comforting to know that everyone else was joining us in this unusual way of living.

However, it was extremely difficult to say goodbye to our support system, vital therapies and education – not knowing when they might return.

The first week was all about trying to develop a schedule. We attempted to fill the hours with activities that stimulated Ava and protected her mental health.

Initial support then came in the form of online music therapy from a charity called Soundabout, which uses music to unlock the potential of people with learning disabilities, as well as local music therapy services in Essex and support groups and hospices.

They are all run by people for whom it’s not just a job but a passion, and their dedication to always be there, no matter how dark the times, is a testament to the commitment they have to continually fight for inclusion and leave no family unsupported. They continuously put statutory, government-funded services to shame. 

These services opened up a whole new world for Ava.

After years of being stuck at home with nothing to do, we suddenly had an entire curriculum of activities and experiences via Facebook Live, Zoom and Youtube that the rest of the world can access any time.

Using easily accessible items such as bowls of jelly, scarves, bubbles and tin foil to name a few, we’ve been on journeys to the jungle and the seaside, taking African safaris and hot air balloon rides.

We’ve listened to theatre shows, had online mindfulness and relaxation lessons and wheelchair dancing classes.

We’ve laughed, whizzed around and made all sorts of weird and wonderful noises; it’s brought fun, love and laughter to our living room.

Yet it’s awful that it took a pandemic for these options to finally become available to our family.

Statutory services always seem to over complicate things and have reams of policies and procedures in place before they’ll try anything, which is generally more about protecting themselves from criticism than concern for their client welfare.

Charities, however, prioritise quality and speed of service to their clients, which means they’re able to respond far quicker in emergencies. It’s these same charitable services that are already committed to ensuring these new ways of working continue to work remotely and be a lifesaver for so many people.

For years we have seen statutory funding for disabled children’s services cut and cut. The Government tells us how much money they’re committed to ploughing into supportIng us, but they fail to recognise that it’s often far short on what they took away from these services the previous year.

We are used to having doors closed in our faces and having to fight to get services and support for Ava.

In contrast, support from charities has meant that her days have been filled with so much joy. We’ve been able to create a virtual world around our precious girl.

Now that lockdown is easing, Ava’s carer, Rachel, has been able to return – albeit in full personal protective equipment.

After nearly three months of providing 24/7 care for Ava, I sat on my bed in the first week of June and the exhaustion hit me like a tidal wave. It’s been a few weeks now and I’m starting to feel more human again.

It’s been hard seeing the rest of the world return to their usual routine; it makes me fearful and anxious. This is because I see pictures on the news of people behaving irresponsibly and it makes me worry that lockdown will be enforced again before those who are shielding have even started to experience any form of freedom.

We are watching the country get back to the new normal, but nothing has changed for us yet. If the general population take too many risks, we could be left isolated for many weeks or months more.

As a mum who lives with the daily strain of being solely responsible for keeping my child alive, I doubt I will come out of lockdown without crippling anxiety. But I know I need to, at some point, start making those steps for Ava’s emotional wellbeing and mental health.

I can only thank these charities with all my heart for being so quick to react and reach out to families without exception, many of whom they never have and never will meet in person.

Many beautiful things have emerged from this awful pandemic and I pray that they’ll remain, because for so many families there will never be a normal.

For many like Ava, prolonged periods of ill health and complex disabilities often prevent people from accessing things that everyone else takes for granted. Suddenly everyone else has realised how difficult and frightening isolation can be.

More information about Soundabout can be found here.

Do you have a story that you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk.

Share your views in the comments below.

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If you follow any street fashion pages on TikTok or Instagram, you’ll know that Chinese people are absolutely slaying the fashion game right now.

Popular streetwear accounts often document the drip (that’s slang for swag which is slang for cool sartorial choices) and recently there’s been a wave of appreciation for those who are dressed to the nines.

One lesbian couple who were spotted serving looks went viral for their constant dedication to the fashion ensemble.

Yanwen Zhang and her girlfriend Jiayu Wu went viral on Twitter last week after a person shared a TikTok video of the couple’s looks for the week.

Yanwen, a 25-year-old model living in the city of Chengdu in Sichuan, China, met Jiayu while judging a modelling competition.

Bonded by their love of fashion, the two fell in love.

Now, whenever they walk down the city centre – where many amateur and professional photographers often capture decked-out passersby – cameras are always on the couple.

Now look at this lesbian couple!! 😭😭 I’m so— pic.twitter.com/pRWHR3uCQ9

— Leonardo Dicarprio bm🐻 (@VIRGOTH0T) July 12, 2020

Online, Yanwen goes by Ergoo and shares plenty of tips while explaining the choices behind her looks.

Despite dressing up in different styles every day, alternating between shoes and accessories, Yanwen says it doesn’t take her long to pull it all together.

She tells Metro.co.uk: ‘It won’t take us a long time to choose, and I am the one who has more ideas between us, so I just follow my mind.

‘My mum inspires me to dress the way I do. She is an elegant woman who has real taste and she inspires me a lot.

‘Besides that, I’m always inspired by the different cultures between the East and the West.’

Since the viral post of Yanwen and Jiayu, the couple has been inundated with questions about their lives.

For the most part, Yanwen is used to the attention.

She added: ‘I’ve been a model and blogger for years so I know that one day more people will know me because of my ideas and feelings about fashion.

‘And of course, I’m so blessed and thankful for the support.’

Do you have a story?

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