Lisa Scott answers your sex and dating dilemmas (Photo: Neil Webb)
When I was with my ex, I was not my best. I was manipulative and controlling and, four years ago, he eventually broke up with me, although I agreed it was time.
He has been popping up on my social media for years but I’ve never contacted him. I’ve since been through a lot of therapy and other processes to work on my insecurities and I’ve been feeling guilty about my behaviour.
I finally got in contact and apologised and he was graceful and kind. I told him that I missed him and he basically said that he wasn’t interested.
I explained about my therapy and asked if we could meet up. He said yes, although I feel his reluctance. I can’t stop daydreaming about him. Am I pushing too much?
This sounds to us like one of those first love relationships that end badly and leave us picking at the scabs for years afterwards.
‘Unfortunately, social media now enables us to return to the scene of the crime,’ says Rupert Smith.
‘I once tracked down an ex who I was madly in love with, even though he told me on our last date that he was marrying a woman. When we met up for lunch 15 years later, I realised it was a huge mistake. He was a lovely guy but it was all in the past.’
Your ex’s feelings are also explicit — he doesn’t want to reignite your relationship and yet you’re attempting to ignore his reluctance to even meet with you.
‘Does this remind you of how you behaved when you were with him, I wonder?’ asks James McConnachie.
Is it good for you?
‘If he doesn’t want to meet you, it means he has agreed out of guilt or kindness. Never mind him, is that good for you?’
You have undergone a huge and admirable transition through therapy but there is a profound difference between missing him and missing having someone.
‘Be clear in your head whether you really want him back or whether you just haven’t met someone you like since him,’ says Dr Angharad Rudkin.
‘It’s gut-wrenching to meet with an ex when they have clearly moved on, so be very sure this meeting is worth it before you put yourself through that experience.’
The ghost of the past
If there was any residual chemistry, it’s very likely that the ghost of the past would haunt your new union, continually igniting old resentments and insecurities.
‘Instead, use this courage and strength to acknowledge that you don’t necessarily need him in your life,’ says Rudkin.
Those daydreams will stop when you move on. ‘If they continue to get in the way of reality, splash cold water on your face,’ says McConnachie.
Perhaps you could even use those moments to envision meeting new partners, without the baggage.
If you’re not ready to stop dwelling on him, perhaps you should consider more therapy,’ says Smith.
The experts
Dr Angharad Rudkin is a clinical psychologist
James McConnachie is the author of Sex (Rough Guides)
Rupert Smith is the author of Interlude (Turnaround)
Got a sex and relationship dilemma? Email it to Lisa.Scott@metro.co.uk.
Carrie, 44, met Alan, 76, when she was 23 (Picture: Jam Press)
A couple with a 32-year age, regularly mistaken for father and daughter, have just celebrated 17 happy years of marriage.
Despite over three decades between them, Carrie, 44, said she and husband Alan, 76, are soulmates in every way and they knew it from the start.
The age gap couple’s romance began 22 years ago when he was 55 and she was 23 and working for a client of Alan’s.
Carrie says she knew Alan was older and vice versa but they’d built such a warm connection over the phone at work, she was keen to meet in person.
After Alan invited her to lunch, they talked for hours and seemed to agree on every subject. The connection was instant and they’ve been together ever since.
‘We’ve been a couple since 1998 and married since 2003,’ Carrie said.
‘I’d briefly dated a man 15 years older than me, and Alan had been on dates with younger women but none as young as I was.
‘We have so many personality traits that match that we are very compatible.’
The couple has been married for 17 years (Picture: Jam Press)
Alan has two daughters who are older than Carrie, from a previous marriage but said he was honest with them early on about the serious intentions he had for his new partner.
For Carrie it was different. She explained: ‘My mother was very upset when I told her about Alan, who is five years older than her.
‘She was concerned that Alan was using me. I waited to tell my mother out of fear of a hostile reaction, for some time even after Alan had proposed marriage.
‘Most of my other family and friends were accepting of Alan, especially after they met him and realised how much he cared for me.’
People are still shocked when they see them together and find out they are in a relationship, as they mistake them for father and daughter.
Carrie added: ‘While on a tour in Europe, two elderly men, sitting in front of us on a tour bus, turned around and asked if I was Alan’s daughter or girlfriend. When Alan said she’s my wife, they looked so shocked.
‘On another trip, two single ladies in their fifties who were on the cruise asked Alan if he, and his daughter, would like to join them for dinner.
‘When Alan said I was his wife and he would ask me about dinner, they quickly said to forget it and walked away.
‘We don’t often hug, kiss, or hold hands in public, for fear of getting negative reactions.’
Carrie doesn’t have any children and Alan is a grandfather of two
Carrie, who doesn’t have children and Alan who is a grandfather of two, says there are so many benefits to an age gap relationship.
‘The maturity of the older mate provides the younger person with stability and reassurance.
‘The younger of the two provides energy and enthusiasm for life to the older. And, each can learn a great deal from the other.
‘A negative is that I often worry about what my life would be like without Alan. I worry about being alone, especially since I have no children.’
The two have just started a podcast. Age Gap Love Story, for people who are in an age-gap relationship like themselves, in the hope it’s beneficial.
Speaking about the podcast, Carrie said: ‘We want to offer support and community to a group of people we feel are often ostracized and neglected.
‘We hope to keep our romance alive and enjoy life together to its fullest.’
Saying that the family was ‘powerless’ to help, Kim wrote: ‘I understand Kanye is subject to criticism because he is a public figure and his actions at times can cause strong opinions and emotions. He is a brilliant but complicated person who on top of the pressure being being an artist and a black man, who experienced the painful loss of his mother, and has to deal with the pressure and isolation that is heightened by his bipolar disorder.
‘Those who are close with Kanye know his heart and understand his words some times do not align with his intentions. ‘Living with bipolar disorder does not diminish or invalidate his dreams and his creative ideas, no matter how big or unobtainable they may feel to some. That is part of his genius and as we have all witnessed, many of his dreams have come true.’
Bipolar disorder – previously known as manic depression – is a mental health condition which causes extreme mood swings.
People with bipolar disorder can experience manic phases, during which it’s very common to feel very happy, have lots of energy, plans and ambitious ideas, while behaviour can also include spending lots of money on things you cannot afford and would not normally want, or indulging in other impulsive behaviour such as making unwise business decisions, having casual sex or abusing drugs or alcohol.
It’s also common to talk very quickly during this period, not feel like eating or sleeping and become easily agitated – but sufferers may also experience periods of psychosis, where they see or hear things that are not there or become convinced that things are true when they are not.
The depression phase of the disorder can leave sufferers feeling very low and lethargic, with feelings of worthlessness and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts.
Kim has said the family is ‘powerless’ to help (Picture: Instagram/kimkardashian)
The exact cause of bipolar disorder is not known, but it’s thought extreme stress, overwhelming problems and life-changing events can all trigger an episode, as well as genetic and chemical factors.
There are also different types of bipolar disorder – known as Type I and Type II.
Kim is standing by her husband (Picture: Instagram/kimkardashian)
Bipolar Type I means that you have had at least one episode of mania which lasts for more than one week, while the majority of people will also have had periods of depression.
Manic episodes can last for 3-6 months if left untreated while depression can last for 6-12 months without treatment.
The star addressed her husband’s bipolar disorder (Picture: Instagram/kimkardashian)
With Bipolar Type II depressive symptoms are common – those with this type are likely to have had at least one period of major depression and one period of hypomania, a milder form of mania.
There can be variations on these different forms of the disorder – with ‘mixed features’, meaning that mania and depressive episodes are happening at the same time, or ‘rapid cycling’, referring to a person having four or more episodes in the space of 12 months.
Bipolar disorder can also be affected by seasons, with manic or depressive episodes following a pattern depending on the time of year.
It can occur at any age, although often develops between the ages of 15 and 19 and rarely develops after the age of 40 – and the pattern of mood swings varies widely, with some people having frequent episodes while others have occasional episodes punctuated by long periods of stability.
How is bipolar disorder treated?
If you think you may have bipolar disorder, your first step should be to see your GP, who can refer to you a psychiatrist for a formal diagnosis.
Your doctor may arrange an appointment with the community mental health team if you have had period of depression, as well as periods of feeling very upbeat and not in control of your behaviour for at least four days in a row.
Most people who have bipolar disorder have a combination of treatments, including mood-stabilising medication – lithium is commonly diagnosed – as well as antipsychotic and anticonvulsant medication.
They might also be prescribed medication to prevent episodes when they happen, while other treatment can include talking therapies such as CBT, as well as learning to recognise the signs before an episode occurs – allowing you to get help in time.
Changes in lifestyle, such as improving diet, getting enough sleep and taking regular exercise can also help.
Most people with bipolar disorder can have treatment without having to go to hospital, but if someone’s symptoms are severe or there is a concern they may harm themselves or others then hospital treatment may be required.
If you are experiencing severe depression you should contact your GP or mental health crisis team as soon as you can and if you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide you should go to your nearest A&E department as soon as possible.
In the UK, all companies with more than 250 employees have to publish their gender pay gap data – so any inequalities are visible – but the pay gap that exists for ethnic minorities is still being swept under the carpet.
Reporting the ethnicity pay gap – where minority employees are paid less than their white colleagues – isn’t yet mandatory, which means companies don’t have the same incentive to ensure all of their workers are being paid equally.
Black and ethnic minority women are being hit with a double penalty, and falling foul of two inequalities that impact how much they are paid.
But experts think now is the time for real change, and that the increased scrutiny on racial inequalities over the last few months could pressure companies into publishing this pay gap data.
In light of the Black Lives Matter movement and the recent spike in interest in matters of racism, there have been renewed calls to make ethnicity pay gap reporting mandatory.
In fact, a recent petition received more than 129,000 signatures and called for the government to introduce the ethnicity pay gap reporting to ‘shine a light on race/ethnicity based inequality in the workplace so that they can be addressed.’
‘Currently there is a lack of data available in gauging the ethnicity pay gap in the workplace,’ reads the petition.
‘Introducing these measures will allow employers to be held accountable in closing the gap where there is disparity. In order to achieve a fairer workplace publishing this data is one of the next steps to knowing how extensive the issues are from a race and ethnicity perspective and not just through the lens of gender.’
Alex Christen, employment lawyer at Capital Law, argues that taking an intersectional approach to pay gap reporting will have a major impact on employees’ rights in the workplace.
‘The BLM movement may well fast-track legislative change, similarly to how #MeToo threw a spotlight on gender inequality and encouraged the introduction of gender pay gap reporting, compulsory for all organisations with 250 employees or more since 2017,’ Alex tells Metro.co.uk.
‘Some employers who hold staff ethnicity data already voluntarily report their ethnicity pay gap figures. Having a legal framework would help ensure that the data reported is consistent.’
Alex says it’s really important to remember that reporting alone does not solve pay disparity, and that pay is not the only way to measure injustice in the workplace.
‘But,’ she says, ‘it would certainly help to inform further measures to tackle racial inequality, and to raise awareness among employers who may not realise the disparities that exist within their workforce.’
This awareness is key. Without that level of transparency, many people will have no idea about just how deep this problem runs.
Haldane also found that large variations exist between ethnic groups with employees of Bangladeshi origin earning 20% less and those from a Black, African, Caribbean or Black British background earning 13% less.
Unsurprisingly, similar disparities are evident when looking at the comparison between ethnic minority genders.
The Bank of England’s data found the conditional gender wage gap for white women remains around 15% less, with female ethnic minorities earning 18% less, suggesting an additional ‘pay bias’.
‘Currently there is a lack of data available in gauging the ethnicity pay gap in the workplace’ (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
It’s a problem that spills beyond the traditional corporate world, with Black and minority ethnic social media stars and influencers also reporting their experiences of being paid less than their white counterparts.
Non-Black influencers have also used this as an opportunity to be transparent about their income to hold brands accountable for further widening the ethnicity gap within the influencer community.
Influencers are revealing their salaries on @influencerpaygap, to highlight the pay disparities that exist for minority women both in the workplace and also in the influencer community.
Alex says that to make lasting change to this problem, transparency will undoubtedly be key. But there will be considerations and challenges in collecting and sharing the data, so companies need to be prepared.
‘Employers collecting staff ethnicity data will also need to remember their data protection obligations,’ explains Alex.
‘Another issue is how ethnicity will be classified – too many categories runs the risk that the data collected is meaningless, and too few categories runs the risk that the data collected is too broad to properly identify where issues may lie.
‘Besides, some employees may not wish to define themselves in this way.’
Alex says it’s important to make it easy for companies to overcome these challenges, and that one way to do this would be by publishing a clear action plan.
‘As well as creating a more open, fair, and diverse workplace, this would help companies to appear proactive in finding solutions to the issue,’ says Alex.
‘This can not only benefit existing employees who should see inequality reduced, but also mean job applicants can make a more informed decision about who they want to work for.’
A 2019 survey by PWC revealed that 75% of companies did not have the resources or information to even accurately assess the ethnicity pay gap, let alone report on it.
‘This can be explained by various factors, including workplace culture, GDPR concerns, or the fact that many organisations simply do not record data on their employees’ ethnicity,’ explains Alex.
‘So, employees who feel confident to share their ethnicity at work should start conversations on the topic.
‘If these discussions lead to the workplace adopting a more open and collaborative culture, and encourage employers to record their ethnicity, then the first steps towards accurate pay gap reporting will have been made.’
Of course, the onus for ethnicity reporting shouldn’t fall solely on the shoulders of the minority employees who are most affected by the pay gap.
It is the responsibility of the government, company bosses and white colleagues to be proactive and create an environment where productive conversations about ethnicity are encouraged and welcomed.
‘Ultimately, a legislative change will probably be required to ensure wider reporting on the ethnicity pay gap,’ adds Alex.
‘Employees should also consider raising their voice electorally – writing to their local MP and trying to shore up political support for laws that will force companies to report on their ethnicity pay gap.’
The tragic killing of George Floyd has raised an outrage which has forced one of the largest culture shifts in workplace thinking for a long time.
Employees in every sector are beginning to consider their rights and feeling empowered to raise concerns with their employers.
‘This culture shift towards a more collaborative approach between employers and employees will hopefully result in a greater emphasis being placed on the fair and equal treatment of employees,’ says Alex.
We have already made many positive strides towards dismantling the gender pay gap. Now may finally be the time for people in power to acknowledge the ethnicity pay gap – and do something about it.
Do you have a story to share? We want to hear from you.
The house has been empty for 15 years (Pictures: Jackson-Stops / Cavendish Press)
A Victorian mansion known as the ‘house of horror’ has been put back on the market – 15 years after a woman was brutally murdered there.
Since the killing of Alison Lumsden by her jealous husband, Christopher, in March 2005, Oakleigh in Cheshire had been left to rot.
But it has now been renovated and is being sold for an asking price of £3.25 million.
Details by estate agents Jackson-Stops make no mention of its grim past, but instead describe the house as: ‘An incredible gothic Victorian villa which has been meticulously remodelled in recent years to form a bright and open house with a subterranean leisure suite.’
The house was abandoned after the killing (Picture: Cavendish Press)
Oakleigh pictured after the murder(Picture: Cavendish Press)
Its history tells a very different story however. It was in the master bedroom of the luxury home where top lawyer Lumsden, then 52, stabbed his 53-year old wife around 30 times after she announced she was leaving him for a family friend.
After the savage killing, the five bedroom mansion in Altrincham, with its immaculately manicured lawns, tennis courts and coach house remained empty and fell into a state of disrepair.
It has now been restored and renamed and has been put up for sale as a ‘striking 19th-century arts and crafts villa’ complete with underground swimming pool and sauna, plus cinema room and a triple garage.
One former neighbour said: ‘A woman died horribly inside that house and for a long time it did seem the scars of what happened would not go away. But its great to see it looking so fantastic again after all these years and everyone hopes it will be a lovely home for someone.
‘When the Lumsdens had it, Oakleigh was a lovely property with the Lumsdens regularly playing tennis and holding garden parties for their friends from the tennis club but after the murder it was overrun by vandals and there was rubbish everywhere.
‘There were piles of tyres in the driveway, half the windows are smashed or boarded up and there was graffiti everywhere. Before it was renovated it had become a real eyesore.’
Potential buyers will have to live with the house’s grim past (Picture: Jackson-Stops/Cavendish Press)
The property was believed to have been built in the 1880s and was once the site of a Catholic boys school in the 1940s.
Lumsden, a partner at the international law firm Pinsent Masons, led a seemingly happy life attending dinner parties, tennis clubs and bridge evenings.
But his wife of 24 years, a former Sotheby’s auctioneer, was having an affair with married businessman Roger Flint, 58, after they met at Bowdon tennis club and in March 2005, she told her husband and asked for a divorce.
After spending several days putting his affairs in order, Lumsden – who had muscular dystrophy – attacked her when she returned home after spending the evening with her lover.
Chrishoper Lumsden carried out the horror killing at the house (Picture: Cavendish Press)
Alison Lumsden was killed after saying she wanted a divorce (Picture: Cavendish Press)
The knife used in the attack (Picture: Cavendish Press)
Later Lumsden – who had been in bed in his pyjamas – recalled to a court how Alison was sat at the dressing table in their bedroom taking off her makeup after telling him she ‘couldn’t live with a cripple’.
Despite being charged with murder Lumsden was jailed for five years after he was found guilty of manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility – he claimed he had a depressive illness.
He served two and half years in jail, is believed to have inherited £1m from Alison’s will and sold the house to a firm of property developers for £1.4m in November 2007. He later moved to Derbyshire to work as a business consultant.
During the project, planning permission on the site was granted to develop and extend Oakleigh. Builders demolished Oakleigh’s orangery and extended the basement area to form an indoor heated swimming pool.
John and his daughter Ellie, and right, the bruise before diagnosis (Picture: John Haywood / SWNS.COM)
Last summer, John Haywood, 46, spotted a bruise on his ankle but thought he’d just bashed it somewhere.
Weeks later, it was still there and he happened to mention it to his dermatologist in passing.
The Greater Manchester Police copper decided to have it examined, and was shocked to discover he actually had a rare type of cancer called sarcoma, which can affect any part of the body.
He was dealt a devastating double blow just one month later when further tests revealed a lymphoma, another type of cancer completely unrelated to the sarcoma.
John, who lives in Bury with wife Claire O’Rourke,44, and their eight-year-old daughter, said: ‘If I had to sum up how I felt about the double diagnosis in one word it would be shock.
‘I’m a very active person and I love my work and my family, so to hear that I was so ill was incredibly difficult.
The bruising on John’s ankle (Picture: John Haywood / SWNS.COM)
‘At that point everything changes.’
When it first appeared, the bruise was about the size of a 50p coin and John says it was ‘quite innocuous’.
He added: ‘It wasn’t sore or raised or itchy, it just looked like a bruise or maybe a burst capillary.’
During a visit to his dermatologist, he mentioned the bruise and the doctor arranged for him to have a punch biopsy, which involves a skin sample being taken for testing.
John loved cycling and running before his diagnosis (Picture: John Haywood / SWNS.COM)
After the diagnosis further tests followed, which tragically revealed John was also suffering from a lymphoma, a type of blood cancer that affects part of the immune system.
He was able to make sense of the diagnosis with the help of his wife Claire, a former nurse who now is a director for an NHS body called Greater Manchester Cancer.
John in his police uniform with daughter Ellie (Picture: John Haywood / SWNS.COM)
John said: ‘Having Claire by my side was definitely a blessing.
‘She knows all about what I am going through so has been really good at helping me along the way and giving me support and advice.’
John in hospital for treatment (Picture: John Haywood / SWNS.COM)
The couple, who live in Bury, say one of the most difficult moments of the journey so far was telling their only child, daughter Ellie, about her dad’s illness.
John said: ‘We had to sit her down and tell her what was happening.
‘We decided it was the right thing to do and ultimately I think it was for the best.’
John with medical staff who helped in his treatment (Picture: John Haywood / SWNS.COM)
John began treatment for the sarcoma on his ankle in December.
He had two surgeries on his leg in an attempt to have the cancer removed.
Unfortunately, neither surgery was successful and he will now have to undertake a five-week course of radiotherapy, beginning on Monday (27 July).
John Haywood with his daughter Ellie (Picture: John Haywood / SWNS.COM)
John also had radiotherapy for the lymphoma, which began in March, and last month he received the news that it had been successfully treated.
John said: ‘To hear the lymphoma had been successfully treated was incredible.
John’s ankle after surgery (Picture: John Haywood / SWNS.COM)
‘After hearing so much bad news it was amazing for something good to finally happen.’
John has been treated at The Christie, a cancer treatment centre, in Oldham and he says he can’t praise them enough.
Currently, his prognosis for the sarcoma is unclear but he wants to remain positive.
He said: ‘I know the road ahead is a difficult one but I’m maintaining a good, while also realistic, attitude about it.’
I am sitting in a private dining area called the Peacock Room inside the restaurant Kahani, surrounded by plates of divine Indian food, including a jackfruit biryani, chicken makhani curry and truffle naan.
Before dining here, I was asked by the Head Chef, the Michelin-starred Peter Joseph, what I enjoy eating so he can create a tailored service for his guests.
Now he brings me dishes he thinks I will like straight to my table. Out comes a platter of samosas with fantastically crispy pastry and delicate venison within it, next to soft shell crunchy crab and tomato chutney. They are devoured within minutes.
The Peacock Room in Kahani, London (Photo: Kahani)
Meanwhile, my very attentive waiter tells me stories about how jackfruits hang from trees in India while he tops up my chilled glass of Côtes du Rhône.
Slowly I can feel some tension being released. It is my first meal out of lockdown and honestly it is a joy to be looked after.
No longer do I need to be relying on takeaway apps, shining my own cutlery and avoiding the unavoidable washing up. And somebody is pouring me a drink!
Some people have said that dining out after a pandemic should be void of any references to coronavirus. I agree that the last thing you want during a night out is to think about a global pandemic.
But I think, without entering cliche territory, that everybody needs a bit of spoiling after the past few months. And there is no better way to be pampered than by having an entire restaurant to yourself.
The very sophisticated bar at Kahani, London (Photo: Kahani)
This might seem like something only accessible if you are an A-lister or have a large inheritance. But Kahani, based in Sloane Square, central London, is offering diners their restaurant to yourself for an affordable price.
There is no minimum spend so all you need to do is find five willing friends. It’s really very reasonable for such splendid food and service and can work out as little as £40-£50 a head. That can easily include three courses, wine, the excellent service and a swanky restaurant to yourself.
The wine cellar in Kahani, London (Photo: Kahani)
Usually from the Peacock Room you can look out over the restaurant and see the bustling restaurant below. Now it is empty, but it gives you a chance to admire the sophisticated decor, including a wine cellar built into a brick wall.
On the table in front of me a few more plates have been delivered. There are some juicy smoked prawns from the Malabar coast in India and a trio of chicken tikka. The restaurant prides itself on the use of its grill and you can tell by the taste.
The Malabar prawns from Kahani, London (Photo: Bar Fox)
One of their specialities is the tandoori broccoli. It is covered in yoghurt and honey and is a sure-fire way to get anybody to eat their greens.
Chargrilled broccoli at Kahani (Photo: Kahani)
One of the highlights of the evening for me is their naans. I did not realise I needed gruyere naan in my life, but it is a revelation. Their truffle naan is great, too.
The truffle naan from Kahni, London (Photo: Bar Fox)
Finally, for dessert there is a medley of kulfis (traditional Indian ice cream) in salted caramel, rose and pistachio flavours. It is a refreshing way to end the evening and the salted caramel kulfi is definitely my favourite.
The medley of kulfis at Kahani (Photo: Kahani)
In short, the restaurant might be based in Chelsea, but that does not mean it is inaccessible. While it is more of a ‘treat’ dining destination, you really do get what you pay for, with fantastic service and food. It is certainly one of the best places I have dined at all year.
Where to find it: 1 Wilbraham Place, London, SW1X 9AE
Sample prices: Soft shell crab (£12), Samosa platter (£11), Trio of chicken tikka (£16), Tandoori broccoli (£14), Gruyere naan (£4), Medley of kulfis (£8), Côtes du Rhône white wine (£7 a glass)
How it works: Bookings can be made 48 hours in advance. The Peacock Room fits 4-6 people comfortably with social distancing. Usually you would have to book out their private dining room, but for now you can (minimum group of 6) book out the whole restaurant with no minimum spend or restaurant hire fee. The waiters were masks and only clear your glasses and plates once they are finished with.
The famous black packaging is landing in Boots (Picture:Getty/MAC)
It’s the news beauty lovers have been waiting for.
MAC Cosmetics products will be available to buy at Boots, both online and in selected stores, from next week.
The beauty brand has announced that from 29 July there will be a curated selection of its popular products available to purchase at Boots.
MAC says it hopes the move will make its products more accessible to both new and existing customers.
Although you can pick up MAC products in department stores, it’s not as widely available as some other brands.
Terry Barber, director of make-up artistry at MAC, commented: ‘Everybody shops at Boots. The idea that they now will carry some of the MAC legends, like Studio Fix, Strobe Cream or Fix+, is exciting. MAC is a people’s brand and, through Boots, it’s now closer to the consumers who love it.’
To celebrate the launch, MAC is giving up to five people the chance to win a one-to-one virtual session with a senior makeup artist, alongside £250 worth of MAC goodies.
Fiona Sainty, vice president of MAC Cosmetics UK and Ireland, said: ‘This is an exciting time for MAC, as a brand we have always set the industry standard and by joining forces with Boots we are making prestige cosmetics and artistry more accessible to high street shoppers.’
The move comes after several large department stores, such as John Lewis and Debenhams, have closed their doors due to the impact of coronavirus.
A full list of the Boots stores that will stock MAC:
Time to get your arsenal of cleaning products out (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Whether it’s our hands or your worktops, many of us have been ramping up the cleaning in recent months.
In fact a survey by The Big Bathroom Shop has found that during March and April, the average person spent 144 minutes per day doing household work.
This survey of 2,000 people, however, revealed that one in ten Brits forget to clean essential parts of the bathroom.
It’s easy to do when you’re running around the house and disinfecting the high traffic areas. But the NHS has stated that the bathroom is one of the most important rooms in the house to clean to avoid the spread of viruses.
With that in mind, here’s a little reminder about the most often-forgotten bathroom areas, along with a few tips and tricks to get them shining and clean.
That few inches in the back can get pretty grimy (Picture: Getty Images/EyeEm)
Behind the toilet
Many bathrooms are designed in such a way that there’s a slight gap between the toilet and the wall behind it.
Although you might be fastidious about bleaching and scrubbing the bowl and lid, this area is regularly overlooked. And, given that bacteria can be spread up to six feet after every flush of your loo, it’s worth giving it a once-over.
Using a long cloth or damp old towel, take one end push through to the other side of the toilet. This way you can spray the area with antibacterial solution, grab both sides of your cloth, and pull from side to side to lift any grime.
What lies beneath? (Picture: Getty Images)
Plugholes
Hair and soap scum are a nightmare to remove from your plughole, but there are a few maintenance methods than keep them clean while reducing further problems down the line.
Using a wire hanger bent into a straight position, you can pull out any hair that might be clogging the drain. Alternatively, drain snake tools are easily purchased from most hardware stores.
Every time you clean your bathroom you can also freshen your plugholes with a scoop of soda crystals. Some people also like to add a capful of scented disinfectant before boiling the kettle and pouring this down to dissolve the grease.
Don’t neglect your bathroom soft furnishings (Picture: Getty Images)
Under the bath mat
10% of those asked in the survey admitted to only cleaning their bath mat once a month.
With multiple people showering and bathing, it’s difficult for a bath mat to fully dry – and we all know that bacteria love moist areas.
Be sure to wash your bath mat once a week at least. You can add half a cup of white vinegar to your wash for added germ-killing power.
If you have tiles, level up your grout with an old toothbrush and a slightly abrasive cleaning paste like Stardrops The Pink Stuff or Astonish Cleaning Paste. Rinse after whitening up and mop as you normally would with an antibacterial floor cleaner.
Even wooden floor mats can be susceptible to mould and mildew (on them as well as underneath), so give them a wipe down whenever you can.
Prevent discolouration by cleaning regularly (Picture: Getty Images)
Shower curtains
Like bath mats, shower curtains can get – and stay – wet for long periods of time, causing mildew and bacteria build-up.
Some shower curtains can easily be popped in the washing machine with your normal detergent (sans fabric softener), then left to dry before putting back up.
If you’re nervous about putting it in the washing machine, stick it in the tub with warm water, and some bicarbonate of soda or white vinegar. Give it a good scrub and leave to dry before hanging it back up.
Toothbrush holders and soap dishes
Standing water can sit in cups or soap dishes, contaminating your toothbrushes with germs.
Some bathroom accessories are dishwasher safe, and the heat of this will kill any nasties living on them.
Alternatively some bleach or antibacterial cleaner will do the trick to keep your vessels clean and safe.
But for some, the equipment might not be so protective.
This is true for Sikh or Muslim men who sport long beards for religious reasons (or even hipsters) as the mask does not cover it all and droplets can get caught there.
So one Sikh man has come up with a face covering that covers all the facial hair and also accommodates people who wear turbans.
Sunnie Delilah is the designer and owner of Delilah’s Dressing Doom. He has come up with a special mask that makes it easier to wear for those who wear turbans on their head and have long beards.
Sunnie’s business has taken off during the pandemic as many rush to purchase his custom-made masks that sell for £10-£20.
What the mask looks like (Picture: Sunnie Delilah)
We spoke to Sunnie to see what inspired him to make the item.
He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘This mask was created initially to help my father-in-law, a Sikh man with a turban and long beard which standards masks do not cater for.
‘He was unable to use it properly and didn’t feel comfortable wearing them.
‘So I created a mask that protects long beards and goes over the turban. The beard, if long, can catch all the droplets you are supposedly trying to protect yourself from.
The mask accommodates turbans (Picture: Sunnie Delilah)
‘If your mask only covers a small proportion of your beard and face then you are defeating the purpose of it as the beard can catch everything and then you touch it and spread and so on.’
The reception to the masks have been positive and Sunnie’s Instagram page has amassed more than 25,000 followers.
When it’s not being worn (Picture: Sunnie Delilah)
He adds: ‘The mask is also made to make the wearer feel comfortable and confident with its design.
‘So far I have orders from all around the world and it’s rapidly becoming more and more in demand, within the Sikh communities especially.’
London, Paris, Havana – which names do you like? (Picture: Getty)
Naming your baby after geographical locations has been a trend for a while, but in recent years we have seen a spike of popularity in names inspired by cities.
New research, conducted by GiftsOnline4U, set out to find out which capital city baby names were the most popular, and some of the answers are surprising.
The online retailer dived into the Office for National Statistics’ data, showing England and Wales baby names used between 1996 and 2018, and looked into those that match capital cities’ names.
The research showed that out of the 195 capital cities, 19 were used as a baby name.
Some of the most popular include:
Sofia – the capital of Bulgaria
Victoria – the capital of British Columbia in Canada, and the capital of the Seychelles
Paris – the capital of France
Santiago – the capital of Chile
At one point, these beautiful city names were seen as unusual choices for a little one, but now they boast between 1,000 and 20,000 namesakes in the UK alone.
The research also found out which capital cities were new to the baby name world, and looked at whether they could spot any clues as to why certain names were more popular in specific years.
The research showed that the 10 most popular were:
Vienna – girls
Cairo – gender neutral
Rome – gender neutral
Havana – girls
Kingston – boys
London – gender neutral
Riyadh – boys
Amman – boys
Asmara – girls
Lima – girls
From the above names, a few could be pinned to specific world events. One of the main capital city names the figures showed a spike for, was the name London.
Back in 2012-2013, ‘London’ saw a rise in popularity among new parents – thanks to the London 2012 Olympics.
It was deemed a unisex name, with both boys and girls being gifted with the title. In those two years, the name ‘London’ was used a total of 59 times, with 41 of those being given to baby girls.
‘Our research shows that when it comes to capital cities, there are almost 46,000 people named after them,’ says Asgar Dungarwalla from GiftsOnile4U.
‘Naming your baby after a city has its advantages. Not only does it give them a unique and interesting name, but you can also use it for nostalgic reasons or even to mark a place that is special to you.’
Do you have a story to share? We want to hear from you.
Lego Ideas Grand Piano – a real piano, made of Lego (pic: Lego)
If sportscars and spaceships aren’t quit your thing the latest Lego set to be designed by fans sounds like something a bit different.
The Lego Ideas range has come up with some pretty clever concepts in its time, from a marble maze to a pop-up book but this is the most complex so far: a fully working piano.
The way Lego Ideas works is that fans come up with designs for new Lego sets and then others vote on them, via the official website, to see which is the most popular.
When any design gets 10,000 or more votes it’s considered by Lego for the chance to turn into a real set. And that’s exactly what’s happened with the Grand Piano, which was designed by music teacher Donny Chen.
Lego Ideas Grand Piano – that’s a lot of bricks (pic: Lego)
As you can see, it looks like a real piano but it also works like one too, with a 25-key keyboard, a working hammer, and a moving damper and pedal.
Not only that but the piano connects with the Lego Powered Up app so it can actually play music, either created by you or using one of 10 pre-set tunes – including one written by Donny Chen himself.
The piano measures 8.5” (22.5cm) high, 12” (30.5cm) wide and 13.5” (35.5cm) deep with the lid down and is made up of a whopping 3,662 separate bricks.
Given how large and complicated it is, with so many bricks, it doesn’t come cheap and has a UK price of £319.99.
It is labelled for adults only though, with a 18+ rating for difficulty, so it’s not something that was ever intended for kids.
The Lego Ideas Grand Piano (set number 21323) will be released on 1 August and is available to pre-order now on the Lego website.
Lego Ideas Grand Piano – music ability not included (pic: Lego)
If you’ve got a celebrity story, video or pictures get in touch with the Metro.co.uk entertainment team by emailing us celebtips@metro.co.uk, calling 020 3615 2145 or by visiting our Submit Stuff page – we’d love to hear from you.
One of the most popular schemes is the government’s Help to Buy (HtB) equity loan.
The idea is that the government gives you a loan of 20% of the value of the property, or 40% in London, and you have a 5% deposit, meaning you only need a mortgage of 75% outside London and 55% within London.
This helps buyers who are struggling to save up for a deposit or who find that their salary is too low to buy a house with a standard mortgage, as you can only get a mortgage for about four-and-a-half times your salary.
But there are a few stipulations:
It must be a new build home, on the market for up to £600,000.
You must be able to afford the monthly fee and interest payments
You must not own any other property or enter a part exchange deal on your old home
You must not sublet or rent out the property after you buy it.
Sandy Macmillan, Director at Property Booking, explains: ‘The Help to Buy scheme is a great option for buyers that have a 5% deposit, but can’t quite raise a large enough mortgage to buy a new home by giving an equity loan ’to up’ what the buyer can afford.’
Mick Silver, CEO and Founder of Moovshack, explains: ‘By supporting first-time buyers with a 20% deposit, via an equity loan, doors open to first-time buyers, who can access better mortgages with better rates.
‘Whilst a first-time buyer won’t own the property outright from day one, the scheme provides the option to buy a further stake over time, as well as offering long repayment schemes (max 25 years) that don’t put immediate pressure on the buyer.
‘Without the scheme, first-time buyers would have to wait until they’ve saved their full deposit before buying their new home, by which time prices may have risen out of reach again.
‘As such, the scheme brings homeownership forward and potentially saves money so long as you can afford the mortgage and have at least 5% of the deposit.’
Changes to the Help to Buy scheme in 2021
It’s also important to know that the Help to Buy scheme is changing next year.
Right now, anyone can use the scheme, as long as they don’t own a property. So if you’ve bought a house before but sold it and are now renting, you are eligible for HtB.
However, from April, only first-time buyers (FTB) will be able to use the scheme – and there are plans to end it completely by 2023.
The scheme will also introduce a regional property price cap, with the focus on helping those who need the scheme the most by setting a maximum purchase price on regional home prices.
Lynne Smith, Director of Sales and Marketing for Fernham Homes explains: ‘From March, the scheme will no longer be available to second steppers, and regional price caps will be introduced. As a Kent-based housebuilder, our new homes offering Help to Buy will be capped at £437,600, which is still a very healthy budget for a first-time buyer.’
At the minute, some buyers have been left in limbo as properties under the current scheme must be completed by the end of 2020.
Lynne adds: ‘Due to the planned changes, it’s important that any potential first-time buyers wanting to take advantage of the scheme, check the expected completion date of the homes they’re interested in.
‘The new restrictions state that the property must be build complete by the 31 December and the purchaser must legally complete before the end of March 2021, otherwise they may need to wait until after the new version of Help to Buy has been introduced.’
Coronavirus means that some of the developments are behind schedule and may not complete in time and there have been calls on the government to extend the deadline to allow these people to get their dream home as planned, but it’s still quite uncertain.
Mick Silver adds: ‘The main concern in the industry is among housebuilders worried about whether homes will be finished by the December date in order to meet the scheme’s deadline, after the lockdown halted construction.
‘The Home Builders’ Federation, for instance, has suggested 18,400 sales across the industry are at risk due to the planned Help to Buy scheme changes and is calling for a deadline extension.
‘If houses aren’t finished, that obviously negatively impacts consumers – especially existing homeowners – who planned to use the Help to Buy scheme before March 2021.’
Can you still get a Help to Buy property after lockdown?
Some buyers may be concerned by news that mortgages with lower deposits are being withdrawn following the pandemic.
At the minute, most lenders require a 15% deposit for a mortgage. However, that is not the case with Help to Buy properties.
As the equity loan acts as extra money to put up with your 5% deposit, your loan to value is lower for your mortgage.
This may increase the popularity of HtB properties for first time buyers as getting on the ladder with a non-HtB property is much harder right now.
You still need the 5% deposit for HtB – of course, you can have a bigger deposit if you want too.
Of course, with the scheme changing in March, you might struggle to buy a property that will be ready before the December completion date at this stage.
This would cover many HtB properties as the maximum value is set at £600,000 under the current scheme – but due to the upcoming changes, many HtB properties will miss out.
Ben Babington, director of Trilogy explains: ‘Developers have to completed their developments by 31 December 2020 and purchasers will have to have completed their purchase by 31 March 2021.
‘There is therefore a ‘dead zone’ between January and March, where any new sales agreed will seemingly have to complete on the new system from April. This in turn means that the stamp duty holiday period is effectively shortened for those using Help To Buy, as they will have to have completed their purchase within 2020.’
What can you buy and how can you find a property?
If you want to go through the HtB scheme, you need to make sure you are looking in the right place.
Ben Babington explains the best way to go about it is to pick up the phone.
He says: ‘Most agents and developers will proudly display the Help To Buy logo in all advertising, on the portals and in their wider marketing.
‘You can also search directly through the Help To Buy website, but it is amazing how many agents and developers don’t actually list their availability with them!
‘There is an assumption that most, if not all new homes under £600,000 will offer Help To Buy, so always pick up the phone to check if it is not immediately obvious.’
The equity loan means that you have more money to buy a property – but it is still a loan and you need to understand how it works before you commit to taking it out.
‘The equity loan is interest-free for the first five years, and can be paid back at any time, up to the maximum loan term of 25 years,’ Sandy Macmillan explains.
‘You pay it back in ‘chunks’, rather than monthly like a credit card, but this can be either 10% at a time, or your entire loan. You will be borrowing a percentage of the property value, not a monetary amount, so when you come to pay back, or ‘redeem’, the loan, you will pay the percentage equivalent of the value of the home at that time.
‘For example, if you buy a home with a full market value of £300,000, you will have a 20% Help to Buy equity loan off £60,000. If when you come to pay back the loan your home is now worth £320,000, you will pay back £64,000 which is 20% of the new value.’
After five years, you will be charged 1.75% interest and then go up each year. Buyers will also be charged a £1 management fee for the life of the loan
Mick Silver explains that you don’t actually have to pay back anything beyond that management fee until you decide to either sell or you reach the end of your term (25 years), but there are ways to pay it off if you think ahead.
He adds: ‘That being said, you can integrate your equity loan into your mortgage and start to make payments on the interest that way.
‘Alternatively, you are always able to pay back in a lump sum or in parts, something that has become known as ‘staircasing’ and which requires a minimum of 10% of the property’s value.
‘Note that the Government is sharing the percentage risk by contributing part of the deposit. Therefore, the amount you need to repay will decrease if house prices were to drop, helping to protect against negative equity. However, if house prices rise and you sell the property, the amount required to repay the Government will also have risen proportionately.’
What are the drawbacks?
There are a few drawbacks for Help to Buy, especially as changes to the scheme come in.
But Mick Silver warns that it isn’t for everyone: ‘Whether Help to Buy will be helpful should always be assessed on a case-by-case basis.
‘There are certain things Help to Buy is specifically good for, such as securing a new build or if you need that 20% (40% in London) equity loan to make your dream house a reality.
‘Be cautious- while a first-time buyer, you might have the salary and savings to be able to afford a less interest-heavy option and one that offers you more freedom in the future.’
Using an equity loan means the government effectively owns a stake in your home. If the property increases in value, the percentage remains the same so you will have to pay back more.
Although the property is in your name, if you want to make changes like building an extension, you do have to ask the Help to Buy agent.
You are also restricted with what you can buy – for example, there might not be any new build homes in the area you really want to live in.
Sandy Macmillan adds: ‘As with any purchase, all buyers should look into what buying route is best for them.
‘Buying a home is likely to be the biggest purchase you’ll ever make, so we’d recommend that anyone looking at Help to Buy speak with an independent financial advisor before making a decision about the best way for them to get onto the property ladder.’
Could this be the new Northern line? (Picture: Getty)
One thing we haven’t missed over the past few months is commuting.
Our home setups have meant we’ve avoided the sticky train carriages and crowded buses which were a part of everyday life pre-coronavirus.
And we can’t say we are too thrilled about having to go back to that commuting ‘normality’.
But it seems one transport company has come up with a brilliant solution.
The Original Tour (AKA the popular open-top sightseeing bus company) has said it’s keen to use its 200-strong collection of double decker vehicles to take commuters to work.
The open-top design provides a safer, contact-free solution for commuting during the pandemic.
It’s also a great use of the busses (and their drivers) while the company isn’t running.
Darren Neylon, managing director of The Original Tour, said: ‘We see this is an ideal opportunity to use our open-top buses and our friendly team of drivers to enable Londoners to get to work in a very safe manner and help get businesses working again. We’re excited to be part of this innovative project.’
Travel crowdsourcing platform Snap is set to employ the busses to offer popular commuter routes and has already trialled a journey from Walthamstow, which follows the Victoria line.
People can register their home and work destinations via the Snap website and, when there are 20 people interested in making the same trip, a bus route will be set in motion.
An app will allow customers to check how many seats are occupied, pay for their fare and register their details for contact tracing.
Thomas Ableman, the founder of Snap, said: ‘This crisis requires fresh thinking and open-top buses are the perfect way to get people into the office in safety and comfort.’
In a survey of 2,000 people, more than one in three women faced sexist comments and remarks from senior management since lockdown began.
Some of the comments that 41% women were subject to included saying that looking more presentable would ‘help to win new business’ and that it’s important to ‘look nicer for the team’.
Meanwhile 38% were told dressing nice ‘would be more pleasing to a client’.
Women are tired (Picture: Getty Images)
Though it was hoped that HR departments would see a dramatic decline in reports of sexist behaviour as offices closed down across the country, Slater and Gordon said sexism has instead found ‘new and insidious ways’ to thrive online.
Nearly 40% of women said these demands were targeted at them or other women in their teams, rather than equally with male peers, leaving them feeling ‘objectified, demoralised and self-conscious’ about their appearance.
60% of the women didn’t report the requests to dress more provocatively to HR. A quarter agreed to boost their beauty regime for fear of a negative impact on their career.
Slater and Gordon employment lawyer Danielle Parsons said: ‘It is categorically wrong for a manager or anyone in a position of power to suggest, even politely, for a woman to be more sexually appealing in the workplace.
‘This is a powerful form of coercion which makes women feel as if they must adhere to the manager’s request and be more visually pleasing to be successful at their job. This is demeaning to women.
‘Requests of this nature are discrimination and unlawful where male counterparts aren’t treated in this way, or where such unwanted requests create a humiliating or degrading environment for women.’
Odin and Jordon have been friends for many years (Picture: SWNS)
The parents of two boys, Odin Frost and Jordon Granberry, were told their sons would never walk and would live in a vegetative state if they survived their early years.
But 18 years later, the teenagers just graduated from high school.
The pair exceeded expectations and made it to school – and an adorable photo shows them on their very first day, aged three, sharing a seat.
From that day forward, Odin and Jordon became best friends, sharing a special bond despite being nearly completely non-verbal.
And this week they re-created that photo on their last day at school, when they officially graduated high school and collected their diplomas.
Odin’s proud parents said the near-identical shots, taken 15 years apart, reminded them of how far their son and his best pal had come.
Odin’s dad Tim, 37, from Texas, said: ‘My son and his best friend were both told their survival rate would be around 2%, that they’d never walk, and that they’d live in a vegetative state – if they made it past seven years.
‘Both walked the stage and graduated. I was on cloud 19. I was so fricking proud of him.
‘We just want our kids to be seen, and seen for the beautiful humans they are, and seen for their accomplishments.’
Jordon at the time he first started school – the same time as Odin (Picture: SWNS)
Odin’s mum Deanda, 40, experienced preeclampsia when she was pregnant, and he was born three weeks early, suffering a bleed on the brain.
Doctors weren’t sure of his diagnosis but told his parents he wouldn’t walk or talk, had brain problems and his cognitive functions wouldn’t exceed the average seven-year-old.
‘Everyone was saying “be prepared” and that he was going to stay in the little kid stage for most of his life,’ said Tim, a musician and author.
But he defied the odds and joined a school for children with additional needs aged three – where he met best bud Jordon.
Odin when he first started school (Picture: SWNS)
Jordon had a blood infection before birth, and his brain was deprived of oxygen, causing him permanent brain damage.
Tim said: ‘They are fiercely loyal and protective of each other.
‘If someone comes too close to Jordon, and they don’t like the vibe, Odin will go into protective mode.
‘Odin will laugh and Jordon will laugh too – it has always been that way.
‘They have a special connection that I don’t know if the outside world would know what was going on.’
Jordon and Odin on their graduation (Picture: SWNS)
Both boys defied doctors and walked – Odin when he was five and Jordon taking his first steps recently, just before his 18th birthday.
Odin has non verbal severe autism and while he can walk, he uses a wheelchair for long distances.
He doesn’t speak very much, but understands what is going on around him.
Tim and Deanda developed a strong friendship with Jordon’s parents Donna, 42, a hair stylist and Damon, 44, a chef.
All four watched their sons graduate last Thursday – a moment they feared they’d never see.
It was only when they took a photo of the pair sat side by side they realised it was a flashback to their first day of school.
Tim posted photos on Reddit and was inundated with praise from more than 100,000 strangers.
Proud Tim said it helped them deal with not being able to have a huge graduation party, as they had planned, due to Covid-19.
‘We’re more used to people being mean than being kind,’ he said.
‘People stare in public and kids make fun and the internet is usually one of the most horrible places.
‘I was getting ready to defend him but it has just been kindness.
‘My wife and I just lay there in bed reading the comments, and we were crying at how beautiful it is.’
Even the teddy was designed by Billie and the team (Picture: Asda/Getty)
Anyone who has a baby – or even a family member that’s had a baby – knows just how expensive clothes and homeware can be for little ones.
Stores like Asda are a godsend for affordable and stylish products, and the supermarket’s newest range with Billie Faiers is stunning.
Billie made a name for herself on TOWIE, but now has her own show The Mummy Diaries with her sister Sam, focusing on their family lives and parenting young children.
She’s also made her way into designing with a range of swimwear at In The Style and a childrenswear and homeware range for George.
The collection initially came out in 2018, and the most recent Summer 2020 update is a welcome addition.
The neutral palette makes a change from brights (Picture:Asda)
The clothing drop was on the 20 July, and the bedding and nursery collection came out exclusively online today.
Designed collaboratively by TV personality Billie and George’s own team, the range has bunting, cushions, sleep-bag and baby duvets – all in a chic, neutral palette.
Perfect if you don’t want a gendered colour themed nursery (Picture:Asda)
You can also expect all the same cuteness when it comes to baby and kids clothes, with the standout pieces being an adorable floral romper and some two-pieces that’d work for cosy times as well as out and about.
Commenting on the pieces, Billie said, ‘I absolutely love working with the team at George and I’m so excited to expand the collection: I hope you love it as much as I do.’
Tidy away toys in style (Picture:Asda)
Estella Arroyo, Senior Design Manager at George added: ‘Billie’s previous children’s fashion collections have been so well received by our customers that we wanted to offer customers even more of Billie’s style, this time for their homes.
‘We are excited to see customers updating their little ones nurseries as well as their wardrobes.’
This rear-entry position is super easy (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Not all sex positions need to mean contorting yourself into positions a gymnast would struggle with.
Some are designed for comfort and maximum effect, giving you both the greatest chance of orgasming by aligning your bodies correctly.
One of these easy yet effective positions is the speed bump.
This is a position designed seemingly with heterosexual couples in mind but can be adapted for lesbians, for example, with a strap-on.
Essentially, you want the person on the bottom to have a vagina, since the speed bump is all about the g-spot.
The speed bump is a rear-entry position where the woman (in this instance) would lay on her front with a pillow or bolster underneath her hips.
Lebel up your spooning sex (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
The penetrating partner kneels behind them to enter from behind.
You can play around with what feels best for your legs, with the person on top either straddling or putting their legs in between their partner’s.
The benefit of this position compared to ‘spooning’ is that the elevation from the cushion makes it much easier to hit the g-spot on the front wall of the vagina.
It has the edge on doggy style, too, in that you can be physically closer to each other if you prefer more intimacy.
The penetrating partner can rest their head on the receiving partner’s back and kiss their neck for a bit of romance.
As mentioned, you can easily use a pillow or cushion to put under the hips, but there are specific products available if you want something made for the job.
A wedge-shaped pillow is ideal – such as the Liberator wedge – and most are made of non-slip materials so you can perfect your positioning without slipping around the bed in the heat of the moment.
Not planning on venturing far this year? You’re not alone. And you’ll be surprised by how many off-grid getaways there are in the UK. Seek solace in the Scottish Highlands for jaw-dropping scenery, or discover the delights of Wales.
Maybe you’ll find much-needed escapism within walking distance in coastal County Down, or fall in love with the English countryside all over again. With so much to explore not far from your door, where will your adventure begin?
England
The Fire Pit Camp
Traditionally a bustling hub for families, weddings, yoga retreats and hen parties, Fire Pit Camp has been waiting to come back to life after the lockdown.
The eco-conscious boutique glamping site in Norfolk, run by sisters Rachel Hughes-Green, 42, and Sarah Hughes-Wade, 47, typically hosts large events and long weekends, but will reopen to family camping bubbles for the first time this month.
The Wrens Nest at the Fire Pit Camp
This season the Fire Pit Camp will be a “leave no trace” campsite
‘Enquiries have shot through the roof for people wanting to stay in the UK,’ says Rachel. ‘After all that isolation, it’s so beneficial for people to reconnect with each other and with nature. It will be lovely to see people back at camp.’
During the lockdown, the owners have been working on a new pizza oven, retiling the communal bathrooms and rebuilding their traditional-style bender tent made of local coppiced hazel. But the biggest change of all has been their new Covid-secure systems.
‘We always encourage mindful camping – avoiding single-use plastic and disposable festival goods – but this season we will be a “leave no trace” campsite, where you take away your own waste and bring your own bedding,’ Rachel says.
‘It means communal spaces like the kitchen are always clean and ready for the next bubble.’
The eco-conscious boutique glamping site in Norfolk has new systems in place to keep it safe
‘We’ve designed our own friendly messages because we don’t like lots of rules, but we do want people to be safe. We’re also ensuring that people feel one hundred per-cent well and comfortable to stay before they arrive by taking payment just ten days before. It gives them that extra freedom and flexibility.’
Campers will also notice new signage around the camp, encouraging them to social distance.
Our hidden gems
Cycle the sights
‘Norfolk is an amazing county – there’s so much to do! Off the beaten track, take one of the great cyclist routes on the Peddars Way.’
Go with the flow
‘For a quiet day out, why not kayak or canoe through the city of Norwich? Our friends at Pub and Paddle will let you hire a canoe for one of three picturesque routes that stop at all the best local watering holes.’
See the seals
‘We recently visited Brancaster Beach and were amazed at how quiet it was. After a short walk along the estuaries, you might be lucky to spot some seals.’
‘We’re used to 250 guests a day and 50 staff (plus one hotel dog) breathing life into this Victorian hotel,’ says general manager Michael Weston, 40. ‘I can’t explain how good it feels to be back.’
Slieve Donard Resort and Spa strategy is ‘to do it well, do it safely and grow in confidence’
Since the day they closed – only the second time in 123 years – they were carefully co-ordinating the reopening, initially with a limited capacity under a strategy ‘to do it well, do it safely and grow in confidence.’
Michael says: ‘When it comes to the rooms, levels of cleanliness have always been exceptional but we now place additional emphasis on key touch points.
‘For new arrivals, most of the check-in process is now done on the phone to reduce contact time at the front desk. At reception, guests can now expect one-way systems and a new hand sanitising unit but the same great service.’
Slieve Donard’s award-winning spa facilities and gym have also undergone a full risk assessment to reopen safely this July. The swimming pool should follow next month.
Some things may be different but good hospitality will never change
‘Our gymnasium is socially distanced, with maximum capacities,’ says Michael. ‘For spa appointments, we now require quests to shower prior to treatment, while aftercare may be online rather than face-to-face. Team members will wear PPE and their schedules will have additional time built in for sanitisation of treatment rooms.
‘We want guests to know that we are a safe environment for you to holiday at home. Things may look slightly different but the hospitality we’re known for will never change.’
Our hidden gems
Coastal Climb
‘One activity where you’ll barely see a soul is climbing Slieve Donard, the highest peak in Northern Ireland. There are so many different walkways and routes that you don’t come across crowds. It’s a spectacular experience.’
Distillery Tour
‘Some distilleries in the area are relatively new and worth checking out. The Whitewater Brewery reopens for pre-booked tours later this month.’
When you see this mark, you’re in safe hands
The ‘We’re Good To Go’ mark is the official stamp of a hospitality business that’s Covid-19 secure. It’s a seal of approval, showing that companies are following clear, industry-standard processes and the UK Government’s guidance on cleanliness and social distancing to keep us all safe and well protected.
Even though the UK lockdown has brought a whole new meaning to ‘isolation,’ holidaymakers are still seeking out secluded havens in Scotland this summer.
Log cabin owners Sonja De Rijk, 54, and husband Steve Shields, 60, have been overrun with interest for their four peaceful and self-contained lochside retreats in the Highlands since they were allowed to reopen on July 3.
The Loch Awe cabins are now available for the ultimate isolation
‘It’s isolation, but in a different way,’ says Sonja, whose Loch Awe lodges – complete with wood-fired hot tubs – are typically fully occupied for 340 nights a year. ‘It was heart-breaking to shut down in March. Steve and I do everything here ourselves because we just love it.’
Within weeks, the business owners began funnelling their energy into landscaping, renovating and making investments that would ensure the safety of themselves and future guests.
Sonja adds: ‘The cabins have been fully-repainted and are now fitted with dishwashers for improved hygiene and full-sized freezers to allow guests to bring their own supermarket supplies.’
Perhaps the biggest investment has been a medical-grade ULV fogger, which helps to disinfect the cabins when guests check out.
‘For us, it’s not about enticing people back to the cabins, it’s about reassuring guests that we have gone a step beyond the guidelines.
‘Everything we’ve done to prepare has been shared on Facebook to show the extent we’re going to, and our website is constantly updated with the latest coronavirus information. We want people to know that Scotland is open and so are we!’
Our hidden gems
Take the challenge
‘There are walks galore here. One sport we love in the Scottish Highlands is “Munro bagging”, where you attempt to climb as many Munros – mountains over 3,000ft – as you can.’
Gastropub grub
‘From Loch Awe, the nearest supermarket is 40 minutes away – that’s how secluded this holiday spot is. But if you’re looking for a great meal out, I always recommend The Kilchrenan Inn, which reopens this week.’
Watch for wildlife
‘Loch Awe is one of the most beautiful in Scotland. All of our cabins come with fishing rights, so you can hire a boat and get on the water for a great day out. Lately, the wildlife has been absolutely fantastic – look out for pine martens, deer, osprey, eagles, owls.’
Wales
The owners of a luxury glamping site on the Llŷn Peninsula have had all hands on deck for the arrival of UK staycationers.
Closing down the popular Abersoch resort in March was ‘life changing’ for Angie, 53, and Derek Howarth, 56, who invested their life savings into NightSky Glamping back in 2016.
Imagine staying in this star gazing hut in the Llŷn Peninsula
The site is a charming mix of self-contained safari and bell tents – each with its own hot tub and private bathroom facilities – along with holiday cottages for those who’d rather not camp.
‘We are extremely excited to reopen,’ says Angie. ‘It’s a beautiful coastal spot with lots of outdoor space, so it’s a great place for families to spend time in their bubbles.’
Check out and check in now takes place in an open marquee instead of our reception
The business owners have been following the guidelines set out by the Welsh Government to get their site Covid-secure, as Angie explains.
‘We’ve brought in additional cleaners, new sanitisation stations and pared down the interiors to limit what’s shared between guests. There’s also a bigger gap between check out and check in, which now takes place in an open marquee instead of our reception.
‘We’re hopeful that everyone will respect each other’s space here and feel safe.’
Our hidden gems
No ordinary ice cream
‘New to the village in 2018 is a lovely coffee shop called Two Islands, where they make all of their delicious ice creams on the premises, using Welsh dairy and natural ingredients.’
Quiet coastal Wales
‘There’s a beautiful coastal path that goes all the way around the peninsula. Stop outside Mickey’s Boatyard Café for a takeaway snack and you might spot some dolphins.’
Seaside supper
‘Many people remain on site throughout their stay, because they’ve come for an escape. On day trips around Abersoch, try The Sun Inn at Llanengan for lovely food.’
The key safety rules
Wash your hands thoroughly, with soap, for more than 20 seconds at regular intervals. Carry hand sanitiser at all times outdoors to use after contact with surfaces. Avoid touching your face.
Though social distancing rules have been reduced to one metre in England and Northern Ireland (it’s still two metres in Wales and Scotland, with some exceptions), everyone should keep their distance from people outside their household. In enclosed spaces, wear a face covering where you can’t keep your distance.
Where possible, avoid public transport, travel off-peak and meet in groups of no more than two households.
They don’t require any maintenance (Picture: The Happy Blossoms/Getty)
With more hours to spare over the past few months, lots of us have been spending more time on Instagram.
And, while we’ve been seeing out the days at home, the platform has provided us with plenty of interior inspiration.
One key style that has cropped up recently is a new flower trend that sees fresh blooms swapped for dried alternatives.
Along with rattan furniture and terrazzo accessories, dried flowers are a huge interior trend this year.
They’re also a sustainable and purse-friendly alternative to fresh flowers – so we can see why they’re growing in popularity.
Not to mention, they require zero maintenance (unlike their living counterparts). There are just two main rules to follow – don’t get them wet and keep them out of direct sunlight.
We’ve rounded up some of the best places to get your hands on them…
If you like your flowers to make a statement, this brand is likely to have something that will get your attention.
The Dorset-based company have two different types to choose from – the ‘baked bunches’ which combine different types of flowers and the ‘dried flower stems and grasses.’
The adorable bouquets each have a sweet theme based on their colour, from vibrant ‘sherbet macaron’ to more muted ‘pink wafer’.
Prices start from £15 for smaller bunches and go up to £32 for more complex arrangements.
This brand starting designing bouquets back in 2018 but saw a surge in demand for dried flowers during the pandemic, as fresh flowers were unavailable.
Mud Urban Flowers offers a whole host of dried Bunny Tales – which are popular on Instagram – in different colours, ranging from lilac to white.
According to the website, the brand likes to keep things as natural as possible.
It says on its blog: ‘The flowers are harvested using traditional techniques and preserved using state-of-the-art facilities powered by renewable energy sources.
‘Being nature lovers, we are passionate about the environment so we really strive to ensure that we are as sustainable as possible.’
For those willing to spend a little more on an impressive-looking arrangement, Wallflower London offers some stylish bunches which would make great centrepieces.
Its collection of Forever Flowers – which do exactly what their name suggests (last forever) – has something for all colour palettes.
This brand – which specialises in flowers for weddings – offers a small but mighty collection of dried flowers on its online shop, including dried daisies, dried wheat bunches and dried straw tails.
They also have letterbox flowers – which will soon be available in different colours – as well as bespoke bunches.
