Women can’t catch a break – we earn less than men for the same role, have less of a chance of being promoted to senior positions and are less likely to orgasm during sex.
The latter is often referred to as the ‘orgasm gap’.
This gap tends to affect heterosexual women the most – and there’s science to back it up.
Insights from the International Academy of Sex Research found that 95% of heterosexual men usually or always orgasm during sex, compared to only 65% of heterosexual women.
Duchess Iphie, a sex, intimacy and relationship counsellor says: ‘I was part of a discussion on Facebook last week and it generated a lot of comments regarding “the orgasm gap” occurring mostly in heterosexual relationships.’
Recent research shows that lockdown has made things worse for women, too, with 78% of British women climaxing less frequently since isolating with their spouse.
Many experts suggest that, in order to close the gap, we need to hold penetration and clitoral stimulation as equal.
Duchess Iphie adds: ‘This [the orgasm gap] is due to adults being made to believe that orgasm is achieved through penetration. While penetrative sex can lead to an orgasm for some women, most women will experience an orgasm through clitoral stimulation – AKA oral sex.
‘However, women receiving oral sex is mostly an afterthought and does not allow the woman to experience full arousal. The man’s pleasure is paramount unfortunately in heterosexual intercourse.
‘The lack of understanding about how women are aroused, stay aroused and reach an orgasm is the key contributor to the orgasm gap in a heterosexual relationship.’
Closing the orgasm gap can therefore be achieved with more communication between both parties – whether that’s a partner or a random hookup.
According to a study by Durex, one in five women claim that their partners are unaware of how to push the right buttons, making it more difficult for them to orgasm.
Couples therapist Louis Venter explains that this goes beyond the practical side of things.
He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘The “orgasm gap” is about more than simply the physical aspect of sex, which is why it is important for couples to work together to explore and understand their now combined sexual journey by learning to communicate with not only yourself, but each other.
‘Communicating with a partner requires not only being able to vocalise your feelings, but having a partner that will actively listen, without judgement.
‘When we work on the barriers to communication in the relationship generally, communication within sex will naturally improve – leading to more fulfilment.’
These pineapple candle holders are amazing (Picture: Barnardo’s)
Pretty much the only downside of charity shopping is the rummaging (which can also be fun at times but isn’t conducive to finding specific things without much time).
An upcoming pop-up auction from Barnardo’s takes the hassle out of finding gorgeous pre-loved homewares, with curated pieces for bargain prices.
The pieces have been selected – and some of them donated – by Geraldine Tan, who runs interiors blog LittleBigBell.
While some of them made their way into Barnardo’s shops, others have been donated directly by coveted brands like Nanas of Anarchy, Bombay Duck, and Catherine Rowe designs.
All these items were found at Barnardo’s stores (Picture: Barnardo’s)
As well as getting something unique for your house, 100% of the profits raised from the sale of these items will help to change the lives of the UK’s most vulnerable children, young people and families.
Bidding begins tomorrow morning (Saturday 1 August) at 9am, with prices starting from 99p.
Whoever wins the auction by the end of the week will be posted their goods straight away.
Yes, that’s a Le Creuset teapot (Picture: Barnardo’s)
There are some gorgeous pieces in the collection, from turquoise rose door handles to a Le Creuset teapot. There are also prints galore and some standout items like fluffy fairy lights or a lip print throw.
Not only is buying from the chazza shop great for the environment, your pocket, and charity, with this level of curation you just know you’ll get something extra special.
Can you argue that it’s too hot to work? (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
It’s officially the hottest day of the year so far, which means there are likely quite a few unhappily warm workers out there trying to concentrate as they bake in their homes.
Unfortunately, there’s no law stating that there’s a temperature that’s too hot to work at, so unless you’re feeling genuinely sick we wouldn’t bank on being able to stop working from home just because it’s hot out.
So for those out there having to make do in these toasty temperatures, here are a few tips on how to cool down enough to concentrate…
Keep the curtains closed
Sure sunshine is one of the best parts of warm weather, but letting the light in could also be letting the heat in with it.
The NHS recommends that you close the curtains in rooms which face the sun to keep them cooler.
Open windows
This may sound like it contrasts pretty directly with the previous point, but while windows facing the sun would do well to have their curtains closed, opening windows in other areas of your living space can also help to get a breeze going.
You can also try hanging wet sheets in front of open windows to help any breeze feel even cooler.
Avoid heavy exercise and lots of movement if you want to keep cool (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Work on a lower floor
If you live someplace where you have access to multiple floors, you should try working on a lower level.
This is because heat tends to rise, meaning that the lower floors have a better chance of being cooler.
Try not to move much
Movement raises the body’s temperature, so if you’re feeling the heat you should try and keep movement to a minimum.
Working at your desk should make it easier for you to keep still, but any fidgeters out there should try and reign it in if they want to keep cool and definitely avoid heavy exercise.
Pick the right outfit
Fashion aside, loose, light-coloured cotton and generally floaty materials are perfect for keeping comfy in hot weather – if you don’t want to work from home in the nude that is.
On the flip side, dark and/or synthetic materials can trap heat and make you feel even worse.
Jump in the shower
If you’re feeling particularly desperate and you have a good 10-15 minutes to spare, you could hop in a cool bath or shower.
And rather than switching your hair dryer on when you get out, let your wet hair dry naturally to keep feeling the benefit long after you get out of the water.
Don’t forget to drink lots of water
One of the most important things you can do when you feel overly hot is to keep hydrated.
This will help ward off dehytration, which is one of the main risks in hot weather.
Further to that, you should try and avoid alcohol if you can as it will only dehydrate you further.
If you’ve got these symptoms you should try and cool down immediately – ideally with the help of a friend or loved one who can keep an eye on you. Moving into the shade, sponging yourself with cold water and sitting in front of a fan as well as drinking lots of water can help.
If you don’t feel better after 30 minutes, call 999.
I wasn’t quite sure how posting a photo of yourself equated to female empowerment (Credits: Getty Images)
How quickly the origins of a movement are lost in the name of a selfie.
When I first saw the latest ‘challenge’ of posting a black and white self-portrait on Instagram with the caption ‘Women Supporting Women’, I felt a little, well… unsupportive.
Firstly, there didn’t seem to be anything particularly challenging about it.
We’re accustomed to ice buckets, impossible dance routines and, regardless of the unfortunate angle on your cousin’s 22 Pushup Challenge, at least he got a sweat on.
I wasn’t quite sure how posting a photo of yourself equated to female empowerment either. It didn’t read to me as being especially supportive of women, other than by telling you it was. Perhaps I was viewing the monochromatic filter through an additional cynical one, but I saw it as a thinly veiled expression of good old-fashioned narcissism.
That’s not necessarily meant as a criticism – vanity is Instagram’s modus operandi, after all. But the suggestion that it was in aid of a good cause was tenuous.
The ‘challenge’ apparently originated in Brazil, with claims that it’s been around since 2016. And while it started with the vague attempt of ‘female empowerment’, it was co-opted by women of Turkey in the name of actual activism. It seems like the message got a little lost – perhaps literally – in translation.
Turkish activists used the black and white selfies as a way to raise awareness about the pervasive issue of femicide (the killing of a woman or girl, in particular by a man and on account of her gender). They posted photos of themselves with the hashtag #kadınaşiddetehayır – which translates roughly as ‘say no to violence against women’ – to highlight the struggle of Turkish women at the hands of violent men.
According to We Will Stop Femicide Platform, 474 women were murdered in Turkey in 2019, mostly by partners or male relatives. On July 21, the body of 27-year-old Pınar Gültekin was found, partly burned, in an oil drum in a wooded area in Mentese. She is believed to have been killed by a man thought to be her ex-boyfriend who, after apparently expressing a desire to rekindle their relationship, allegedly punched her and strangled her to death when she turned down his advances.
Her murder sparked outrage. Femicide in Turkey has risen 200% since 2013, and lockdown conditions means cases of domestic abuse are likely to spike. Protesters have criticised the government for their inaction after top officials spoke about withdrawing Turkey’s signature from the Istanbul Convention, an agreement which aims to address and prevent violence against women.
I’m not writing this to spoil the fun, but to ring the alarm – because violence against women is a prevalent issue in the UK, too
We could be forgiven for jumping on a well-meaning, yet slightly vapid, bandwagon. But when you see that another group of women are harnessing it and using it far more effectively, and it has lead to global media coverage… isn’t it time we did the same?
I wouldn’t suggest taking the photos down, and I’m not writing this to spoil the fun but to ring the alarm because violence against women is a prevalent issue in the UK, too.
During lockdown, 26 women or girls were killed in suspected domestic homicides.
Thanks to campaign groups and the support of passionate MPs including Jess Phillips and Harriet Harman, the ‘rough sex defence’ is about to be outlawed in new domestic abuse legislation. It’s a huge step forward, but we still have a long way to go.
Activism involves awareness, education and action. Our Government has pledged £76 million for domestic and sexual abuse survivors, as well a vulnerable children, yet Labour MP Jess Phillips is quoted as saying, ‘There is no defined government strategy at all. Some services have no funding to keep going’.
I have been a victim of domestic violence. I was hit, choked, dragged by my ankles across the floor – it was terrifying. Yet when I showed photographs of my injuries to another woman she suggested that I had caused them myself. It was far easier for her to think I made it up than to accept the fact that the ‘nice man’ she deemed my ex to be was capable of such violence.
That emotional scar of not being believed stayed with me far longer than the physical ones.
Turkish women were posting photos for a very specific reason, with a clear message of opposition to the status quo. They were calling for action, and protesting a very specific cause in a way that garnered the attention of the media, before the meaning dissipated when the hashtag spread abroad.
Let’s stand in solidarity, not only with victims of domestic violence in the UK, but in Turkey and the rest of the world too
Still, it’s easy to support women with a selfie; it’s more difficult to empower women when they speak out about assault. It’s an uncomfortable truth, but as a society we need to come to terms with the fact that good men do bad things.
So let’s call for justice for the women whose voices have been taken from them. Let’s put pressure on the Government to take the issue of domestic violence to the forefront of their agenda. Let’s break the stigma so often placed upon victims of domestic violence who choose to come forward.
Let’s stand in solidarity, not only with victims of domestic violence in the UK, but in Turkey and the rest of the world too.
And let us stand together with women who need our emotional support, and help them all to share their stories. Until they feel they can safely, the true extent of domestic violence will never be known.
The #MeToo movement was perhaps the first time women felt empowered to speak up without fear of shame or judgement. It showed us how a social media movement can successfully support victims of male violence as well as sexual violence and assault.
So if we are going to set a trend on Instagram, let’s make it something of substance.
A craft company is looking to recruit a model who loves nothing more than chilling in the nude, for its virtual life drawing class.
Crafting community LoveCrafts – which is behind the event – is offering £250 for a model to pose naked on Zoom, for 150 attendees to sketch.
It’s particularly encouraging applications from ‘fat, non-binary and disabled models,’ who have been underrepresented in the industry over the years.
Applicants must be comfortable being nude in front of an audience and able to hold still poses for up to 15 minutes at a time – they also must have a strong internet connection.
Drawing tutor Brogan Bertie of Experimental Practice will lead the live crafting session, which is set to take place on 27 August at 8pm for approximately one hour.
If you’re more interested in participating than posing, the session is free to join and has 150 spaces – but those wanting to take part will need to register interest beforehand.
For those less artistically-blessed, host Brogan will guide attendees through different life drawing techniques as they sketch or craft their own interpretation of the model.
Brogan said: ‘This crafty life drawing session will be a fun and relaxing hour where we reference our model’s poses to create whatever we want.
‘We can draw, use embroidery, collage, anything you feel like. Experimentation is encouraged. You don’t have to have done life drawing before; beginners are incredibly welcome.’
Milly Youngs, digital content manager at LoveCrafts added: ‘We wanted to hire a member of the public for our life crafting event as it’s such a unique opportunity for someone to experience.
‘Plus, there’s the added bonus of earning some money from the comfort of your own home.’
Many of us have upped our alcohol consumption in lockdown – now what? (Picture: Getty Images/RooM RF)
The evening that Boris Johnson announced that the UK was going into lockdown, I – like a lot of people in the UK – poured myself a large glass of wine. It was the first time I’d drunk a wine at home on a Tuesday night, since I was a student.
And the next night, I had another glass. And the next. And before I’d even given it any thought, I was drinking every night. Not a lot – not even enough to get drunk. But more than usual.
If you drank a lot during lockdown, then there’s no judgement here. It was one of the few pleasures we were able to enjoy, and for many of us, a way to bring the working day to the end. A study by Waitrose found that one in four of us drank more more during lockdown, and sales of tequila, specifically, were up by 175%.
But as lockdown eased, and Saturdays were spent drinking in the park, or making tentative explorations of local restaurants, I found myself returning to my pre-lockdown drinking habit of drinking a lot at the weekends while keeping my lockdown routine of having a couple of glasses of wine a night, which added up to booze every day of the week.
How much you drink is ultimately up to you, but by June, my drinking was making me gain weight, feel mentally slow, and making my anxiety even worse than usual. I realised that it was time to rewire my relationship with alcohol. I tried a variety of different approaches, alongside good old fashioned will power, to get my drinking back to its pre-lockdown state.
Here’s what worked.
Non-booze booze
Much of what I like about drinking is the ritual. When I was having a Tuesday cocktail I would take time making it, then I would sit outside with my partner or call a friend while I drank. Of course, none of that is actually reliant on alcohol, but somehow it’s not the same with a glass of tap water.
I tried a huge variety of alcohol replacements. There are plenty of options for pretend wine (Jukes cordial is a very good version, and McGuigan’s non-alcoholic wine is as nice as non-alcoholic wine can ever be), but I found that fake alcohol just made me want more real alcohol.
For me, a fancy Fever Tree tonic with ice was a better substitute. One of my favourite improvements was using everyone’s childhood favourite, the Soda Stream. Being able to make ice-cold fizzy water, and experiment with flavouring it, ticked many of the same boxes that came with making a mojito.
The commutinghour
I know we all hate commuting, but there is an element of decompression in that stage between leaving work and getting home. Yes, smelling someone else’s breath on the bus is awful (and not very safe in a post-Covid world), but it was a huge part of our lives for a long time, so it’s no surprise that many of us are still a bit lost about how to go from work to play of an evening.
I started finishing work at about 6pm and then going out for a 45-minute walk around my local park, like a sort of commute. This allowed me to feel that when I got home from my walk I was ‘home from work’ and it also kept me busy during that key hour between 6pm and 7pm, where it felt most natural to have a drink.
The rush back to the pubs has added even more booze on to a growing habit(Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)
Evening classes
Gyms reopened this week and I automatically booked myself a 7pm class for as many Tuesdays as I was allowed. This means that I can’t have a drink before 7pm, because spinning after a glass of wine is not your friend.
A class gives a shape to your evening. You also usually have to pay beforehand and are charged if you give less than 12 hours cancellation notice, which means that if you do decide to bail and have wine instead, it’s got a financial penalty attached. The prospect of wasting £15 is certainly enough to make me put down the Chardonnay.
Reprogramming your mind
I’m a big believer in hypnotherapy, but not all of us have the option to go and see a professional right now.
We spoke to Susan Hepburn, hypnotherapist to the stars, who gave Metro.co.uk some tips on how to reprogram your drinking.
She says: ‘Keep an alcohol diary – all you need is a small notebook that you can always carry with you. Just use two pages a day – page one to note down the units of alcohol you drank and when and page one to make note of your general emotions throughout the day.
‘You might be shocked by how much alcohol you do consume, even when you think you’ve hardly had anything. This can be a valuable wake-up call.
‘By noting your emotions, too, it can help you to understand what prompts you to have a drink. But try and use your diary at the time and not later.’
Susan also points out that if you’ve been drinking heavily, you should speak to a medical professional before stopping cold turkey.
You don’t have to ditch booze entirely, but cutting back might be right for you (Picture: Getty Images)
Talking about it
One of the most helpful ways I’ve managed to kick my drinking back into touch is by being honest about it. Saying out loud ‘I really want a glass of wine, but I’m not going to have one’ makes the whole thing feel like less of a dirty secret.
It’s also helped me to work out what it is that makes me feel I ‘need’ a drink. Am I bored? Anxious? Looking for an activity? Much of the time, whoever I’m talking to feels the same way, and we’re able to support each other into being strong and saying no.
Buying more expensive wine
The final way I’ve taken control of my drinking might is basically by harnessing my own tightness. By spending £15 on a bottle of something really great, ideally from a local independent wine shop, means that I’m much more aware of what I’m drinking.
It’s easy to pound a bottle of £5.99 supermarket rosé, which you can replace the next day. But when you’ve made a significant investment in a bottle of Whispering Angel, you’re far more likely to savour it.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the major thing that made a big difference for me, was cutting myself a bit of slack, and accepting that getting back to my pre-lockdown habits is going to take time. If you slip and have a drink when you were hoping not to, you’re not a failure or a bad person. You just enjoy that drink, and then start again afresh.
The new parents with Dr. Cox who also delivered the mum 25 years ago (Picture: Jam Press)
A woman has gone viral with a heartwarming post revealing how the same doctor who helped deliver her as a baby also delivered her son 25 years later.
Lauren Cortez, 25, from San Antonio, Texas, and her partner Peter Cortez, 25, who is a San Antonio firefighter, welcomed their son Logan in July this year.
The speech-language pathologist said she decided to have the same man, Dr. Bryan Cox, who delivered her in 1995, to also help deliver her son over two decades later.
Lauren shared adorable side-by-side snaps on Twitter of both herself as a newborn baby being held by Dr. Cox and her newborn son also being held by him and the post quickly amassed over 700k likes.
‘My mum always told me that she had the best obstetrician-gynecologist in town and she always encouraged me to start seeing him when my husband and I began trying to start a family,’ Lauren explained.
‘My mum always described Dr. Cox as caring, passionate about his job, and just an all-around great guy who always makes you feel like a friend more than just another patient.
‘I found this all to be very true as Dr. Cox showed interest in our lifestyle and family rather than just focused on the baby alone.
‘He really makes that connection with the family and I love that about him and why I knew without a doubt I wanted him to bring our baby into this world.’
Dr. Cox delivered mum Lauren in 1995 (Picture: Jam Press)
Lauren had a natural delivery and welcomed her son Logan, who weighed 6lb 1oz and is healthy and happy.
However, giving birth amid the coronavirus pandemic didn’t come without its difficulties.
Lauren added: ‘I had to go through a two-hour labour and delivery fully masked which made my first-time experience very interesting.
He hasn’t aged much (Picture: Jam Press)
‘The delivery was very smooth but everyone had to take the necessary precaution of wearing a mask the entire hospital stay. That’s something I’ll never forget.’
Lauren said her own mum was also unable to be at the hospital during the delivery due to coronavirus limitations.
Speaking of her reaction to the post going viral, Lauren said it was very unexpected.
‘Originally I shared this to Instagram for family and friends who understood that “our” baby meant my husband and me but on Twitter, it got so easily confused for “our” baby meaning me and my doctor.
‘My husband and I, our doctor and his wife really got a good laugh out of those comments though!’
Germs build up inside the mask very quickly (Picture: Getty)
Many of us have a bad habit of not cleaning items that come into contact with our skin often enough, with the exception of clothes.
Be honest with yourself – how often do you wash your sheets?
Or ignore the slightly musty smell of your towel and use it anyway, because the rest are in the laundry hamper?
The arguably most worn item in 2020 is the face mask, with many opting for a reusable option.
While there are many benefits to this – it’s kinder to the environment, practical and stylish (if you’re the type of person who likes to match your mask to your outfit, for instance) – there is also a downside: you need to clean it on a regular basis.
If you don’t, there could be dire consequences for your skin, especially if you are required to wear a face mask for most of the day, such as for hospitality staff.
‘Wearing a mask covers the skin and creates a warm, moist environment that reduces oxygen flow to the skin and results in a buildup of skin congestion and acne,’ says Dr Rekha Tailor from Health &Aesthetics.
‘On top of all of this, the fact that saliva and nasal secretions are being held inside the mask for long periods of time and in close contact with the skin can also increase the bacteria that your skin is exposed to and therefore result in an increase in breakouts, black heads, and spots.’
Beyond skin problems, or so-called ‘maskne’, not keeping your mask clean could potentially also affect your health – with increased risk for contracting coronavirus, if the mask becomes ineffective.
Dr Lucy Glancey, who runs her own clinic and is a member of Royal College of Surgeons of England, recommends swapping out or washing your mask daily.
She says: ‘It’s equally as important to refresh your mask daily to stop the potential spreading of Covid-19 or any other germs to others and it’s imperative that this is clean.
‘By not washing a mask each day, all you’re doing is building up bacteria and potential germs making the mask ineffective.
‘A washing machine should do the job of sterilising the masks or you can hand-wash it in hot water. If it’s non-washable material then the chances are it needs to be discarded after one wear into the bin.
‘To avoid any potential germs pull off the straps around your ears and don’t touch your eyes, mouth or nose in the process.
‘Keep it away from your face and discard before thoroughly washing your hands.’
Dr Glancey also points out that every mask has a shelf life and that you should get a new one if the material has torn or is thinning.
Make it a rule to wash your hands before putting the mask on as well, where possible. Alternatively, use hand sanitiser.
How to wash your face mask
‘Depending on the quality of the mask, they can be washed up to 30 times, and should be washed after every use,’ says Edgar Van De Linden from Isko Vital, a company that makes face masks.
‘I thoroughly recommend washing on 40 degrees, or 60 if needed, and on a cotton setting.
‘Only use detergent. Don’t use fabric softener as this can ruin the shape of the mask. And it’s better to let them dry naturally, rather than a dryer as this compromises both the quality and safe wearing.
‘However, it’s also safe to hand wash, which is ideal for travelling. Leave to soak in soapy, hot, but not boiling water for 10 minutes. Rinse well and dry outside.
‘Always dry separately in a clean environment.’
However, face mask hygiene isn’t merely about the mask itself.
If you wear a lot of makeup underneath, this will likely rub off onto the material (along with dead skin cells), so again – wash, wash, wash.
What’s more, both Dr Tailor and Dr Glancey recommend maintaining a good skin cleansing routine.
Top tip? Wear moisturiser to create a layer between yourself and the mask.
Dr Glancey adds: ‘If your mask is too snug make sure you’re cleaning your face with a good facial wash, such as one which is tea-tree oil based to prevent the outbreak of spots where the material is making the skin more oily and blocking pores.
‘Not washing the mask frequently enough can also lead to it rubbing against the skin causing possible sores and sensitivity.
‘Always apply a moisturiser before you wear the mask, no matter what your skin type, as it will add a barrier between your skin and the mask.
‘Invest in a good moisturiser to suit your skin type, whether it is oily or dry, as a face mask will exacerbate any skin problems.’
Let’s not forget that if you’re wearing a mask while out and about, cycling or anywhere where the air is congested, the fabric is also likely picking up pollution particles.
Offer your colleagues a helping hand (metaphorically of course, considering current social distancing restrictions) (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
With the country facing economic uncertainty because of the coronavirus pandemic, many companies have sadly had to make redundancies.
And if that’s happened in your workplace and you’ve kept your job, you’re probably feeling lucky to still be there but are facing losing some of your colleagues.
The conversation around redundancy and people leaving in that way can be really difficult – often you can’t say goodbye in the same way, especially if you are all still working from home.
But if your work spouse has been let go, it’s important to handle the situation properly.
Anita Kalra, Managing Director of KLG Employment Law has some tips about how to help when your colleague is made redundant.
Don’t be too patronising or openly pitying
When you’re dealing with other people around you being made redundant, think carefully about what you say – find a balance between being understanding and being too pitying.
Anita explains: ‘When it’s a colleague or peer, the most important thing is to be tactful and not patronising. Be clever enough to understand what causes redundancy; this is never a reflection of the employee’s own work.
‘Their immediate concern will be to find a new job and worry about making ends meet. Feeling sorry and openly pitying them will only allow them to panic more.’
Acknowledge the situation as soon as possible
Avoiding the topic altogether is not going to help either. It is awkward and it’s natural to not know what to say, but do say something.
Anita says: ‘Often employees can work out an agreed notice or leave immediately. With covid and the majority of us not in an office environment, it is important to reach out as soon as you know. Be it WhatsApp, internal messengers, whatever.
‘Something simple as “I just heard the news” or “How are you feeling? – what a shock”. If they want to open up, they then can. Leaving it as an elephant in the room makes it even more awkward; they may have embarrassment or wanting to protect you from worry too. Make the first move.’
Send them helpful resources to ease their stress
Obviously you won’t want to do anything to put your job in jeopardy but it is ok to point colleagues in the direction of any helpful information you have found, particularly if you spot jobs that might suit them.
‘You can be impartial but supportive by sending resources that may help in their job search, bill concerns or employee rights,’ Anita says.
;The most important thing is to make sure they have been made redundant fairly. Sadly we are seeing too many people dismissed on unfair grounds or without the right procedures in place.
‘Help your colleague to know that this is a fair and just situation before accepting it; revisit contracts to check leaving pay for example.
‘We’ve worked with employers during the pandemic to produce a guide through this difficult process, and there’s lots of advice out there online.’
Share their concerns and consider the future of your organisation
Although your job might be safe for now, there are always risks of more redundancies and it’s important to put yourself in their shoes.
Anita adds: ‘Redundancies rarely happen for just one position; sometimes a whole team or group of colleagues can be made redundant at one time. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling sorry for a work friend but relieved for yourself, because you never know when your position may be vulnerable too.
‘Really imagine what it is like for this person, and what it would be like if it was you. Listen to their concerns and take the time to advise and console. Also take this as a sharp reminder to get your own ducks in a row should this happen to you too.’
Arrange to see them outside the work setting as a friend
Just because someone has left in difficult circumstances, it doesn’t mean you can’t stay in touch. They will probably appreciate support right now.
‘If you’re good friends,’ Anita says, ‘Maintain that as they leave or when they have left. Being forced out of an organisation can leave you feeling bitter, but also curious.
‘You’re cut off from your daily lunch buddies and work wife, through no choice of your own. It may feel a little awkward at first, but remember this is a person, a human, a friend. And work is just work. Value friendships just as much as your own career.’
An edible masterpiece (Picture: @petrichoro/Instagram)
2020 has brought with it a whole host of interesting food trends.
From pancake cereal to focaccia art, creativity has been at an all time high over the past few months. Not to mention the more recent influx of videos of everyday objects turning out to be cakes.
But it seems there’s another foodie trend sweeping Instagram – people are making incredible edible jelly cakes in a range of adorable designs.
From beach scenes to floral masterpieces, there are a number of different ways bakers are using jelly to enhance their baked creations.
Elena Ignatenko has been baking cakes and pastries in her pastry shop in Krasnodar, Russia, since 2016.
More recently, she’s made an impressive island cake, using the jelly to represent the sea.
Elena tells Metro.co.uk: ‘It is very unusual and produces a “wow” effect on everyone (I think this is the secret of the popularity of this trend on Instagram), and it also has a lot of small details that are so interesting to consider. You can literally look inside the cake and it’s cool.
‘I also think that this cake is so popular because it reflects nature untouched by man – beautiful emerald-blue water, amazing underwater world and, of course, mountains.’
Ela, who runs the account @elassweetheaven, is another person who made a cake with jelly representing water. Her lily pond cake featured a swan sitting on the top.
So pretty (Picture: elassweetheaven/Instagram)
She tells Metro.co.uk: ‘The lily pond cake was inspired by my local greenbelt area Woodhall and Faskine that is under threat from developers.
‘The lily pond has a magical feel to it with these majestic swans. So when my friend’s daughter asked for a swan princess I knew exactly where my inspiration would come from.
‘As she is one of the youngest supporters of our green belt it was a pleasure to make this cake for her.’
Grace, of Instagram account @petrichoro, made an alternative pond cake where fish can be seen swimming in the centre.
The jelly creates a pond-like effect (Picture: petrichoro/Instagram)
She said: ‘Jelly cakes are a really popular dessert in East Asian cuisine but usually the designs just involve flowers and other botanicals.
‘I love the look of regular jelly cakes, and they reminded me of suspended pools of water. So I was inspired to use the jelly cake method to imitate a pond, and I thought koi fish would fit in perfectly with that theme.
‘I make mousse cakes fairly often and it’s my family’s favourite type of cake, so I decided to combine the two for Father’s Day this year.’
Don’t miss this pop-up (Picture: Home Jewels Co/Everyday Froday/Dispora Socks/The Glowcery)
This week, East London pop-up mall, Boxpark Shoreditch, will be showcasing the best of independent Black-owned businesses in the UK, by becoming a temporary home to virtual marketplace, Jamii, which heroes Black British e-commerce brands.
It will be the first time the site – which also runs a discount card – will be showing off brands across haircare, skincare, clothing, stationery, food and greetings cards at the Shoreditch shopping and dining destination, as well as online.
With the event taking place over just five days – from Wednesday 5 August to Sunday 9 August – there will be over 20 Black British e-commerce brands for shoppers to choose from.
While Black Pound Day – which started in June as a way to support the Black community – may be over, it’s still important to support local and independent business that may not otherwise get much attention.
So jot the date down in your diary, you’ll want to check this event out.
The pop-up is happening from August 5-9 (Picture: Home Jewels Co/Everyday Froday/Dispora Socks/The Glowcery)
Jamii was founded by Khalia Ismain in 2016 in response to the first wave of the Black Lives Matter movement.
The website was started with a mission to make it as easy and convenient as possible to lift up community-owned brands.
This is the first time the online site has brought its digital platform to the real world but Khalia has plans to run more pop-up shops across the UK in Bristol, Birmingham, and Manchester.
Prices at thepop-up will range from £3.30 to £40 for individual items, with discounts of up to 20% available to those that have a Jamii card.
Shoppers will also be able to sign up for their discount card in-store.
Which brands will be available at the pop-up
Afrocenchix – Haircare
Yeye Mi – Haircare
Big Hair – Haircare
Bourn Beautiful Naturals – Haircare and Skincare
Kiya Cosmetics – Haircare and Skincare
Y Wait Beauty – Skincare
LoveRems – Skincare
Mr Blackman’s – Skincare
The Glowcery – Skincare
Black Sunrise – Clothing
Diaspora Socks – Clothing
Everyday Froday – Clothing
Sheer Suga – Clothing
SZND – Clothing
Tihara Smith – Greetings Cards + Stationery
Streetgreets – Greetings Cards
Bespoke Binny – Homeware
Village & Home – Homeware
Home Jewels Co – Candles
Lanji Candles – Candles
Isura – Jewellery
Sheni & Teni – Children’s puzzles
If you want to know more about Black businesses that are doing wonderful things, be sure to check out our series Black Owned that throws a spotlight on the brilliant and innovative businesses and entrepreneurs within the Black community.
We hear how and why companies were founded, what challenges Black business owners face and the advice they’d give themselves if they were starting out again.
Feminism is once again to blame (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Women have spent far too much time working on gender equality in recent years, it seems.
Equal rights in every area of life – what were we thinking?
Or so a large chunk of young men believe, with a new report revealing that half of Generation Z men ‘think feminism has gone too far’.
Oh, and feminism is also to blame for making it ‘harder for men to succeed’.
The findings, which were published as part of survey conducted by the charity HOPE not hate, included 2,000 male participants aged 16 to 24.
Among these, nearly one in five have a ‘negative view of feminists’, and shockingly, 16% said feminism should not play a part in 2020.
Most surprisingly perhaps was the response to the survey question of whether it is ‘more dangerous to be a woman than a man in society’ to which 23% of men disagreed.
The report also featured a forward by 23-year-old Nadia Whittome, the youngest Labour MP in the UK.
Nadia suggested ways to tackle dismissive attitudes around feminism, such as targeting sexism and misogyny in schools and colleges, and by doing so, changing the mindset of a younger generation.
Additionally, Leni Morris, the chief executive of an LGBT+ anti-violence charity, said that the research ‘provides a vital snapshop of the views of young people in the UK today’.
The research by employment law firm Slater and Gordon also found that almost the same number of women have been asked to dress sexily or provocatively.
For those in doubt, the patriarchy is alive and well.
We have grown closer to our furry friends (Picture: Getty)
Our bonds with pets are stronger than ever.
With the pandemic forcing a lot of people to stay at home for most of the day, we have never felt closer to our beloved animals.
But a new study of 2,000 people has revealed that half of UK adults are worried about leaving their furry friends when they return to the office.
The research, carried out by Co-op Insurance, sheds light on the anxieties people have around the upcoming change of routine.
Two fifths of participants said they have spent more time with their pets over recent months than ever before and a similar percentage have spoiled their animals more – spending, on average, £25 per week.
As for concerns around leaving pets behind, young people in particular were worried the impact returning to work would have on their furry friends.
‘During lockdown, owners have spent more time with their pets than ever before,’ said Andrew Nevitt, head of products at Co-op.
‘It’s therefore no surprise that so many pet owners are concerned about the impact returning to the office will have on their pets.
‘It’s really important that pet owners do what they can to support this transition.
‘Those returning to the office need to take the necessary steps to make sure that their pets are gradually eased back into spending time alone.’
It seems pets have been playing their part over the past few months, too.
If the sight of these pooches doesn’t cheer you up, nothing will (Picture: Getty)
The past year has been difficult for festival organisers, with most big events cancelled in 2020.
But there is some positive news on the horizon – dog lovers, this one’s for you.
Dogstival, the annual festival that celebrates the beauty, grace and talent of pooches in the UK, is returning.
Originally held in May each year, organisers have just confirmed new dates for the first weekend of September.
The canine event will be hosted outdoors in New Forest, with social distancing measures in place to protect visitors and their dogs.
As always, it will feature fun activities, shows and demonstrations with pups of all breeds, shapes and sizes.
Pooches can go for a swim in the K9 Aqua Sports Pool, and humans can do stand-up paddle boarding with their pet, while another area will be dedicated to scent work, agility, flyball and working dog scurries.
Scott Miller, resident vet on This Morning, will also be present, to share tips and tricks on how to look after puppies, senior dog care, first aid for pets and more.
The celebrity vet is joined by Charlie Dixon from New Forest Vet, as well as animal surgeon Michael Hamilton from Hamilton’s Referrals.
Just look at that beautiful face (Picture: Dogstival)
A canine with skills (Picture: Dogstival)
Dog owners who need help training their canines can also visit the Dog House Behavioural Stage to get personalised advice on how to gain a deeper understanding of their animal’s general wellbeing.
And let’s not forget the shopping.
If you want to spoil your pooch, this is your chance – there will be 150 stalls selling everything from treats, toys and training tools.
Meanwhile, there is a vintage fairground and live music planned for the humans.
Scott Miller, resident vet on This Morning will be on hand to give tips on pet care (Picture: Dogstival)
The event welcomes dogs of all ages and breeds (Picture: Dogstival)
Dogstival has worked closely with New Forest District Council and Hampshire Police to ensure that the event follows government guidelines in lockdown, with hand sanitiser stations and cleaning teams on-site every day.
‘We are truly delighted to start planning for Dogstival in September to ensure a much-deserved day out for our beloved pets – and their humans of course,’ said Richard Nowell from Lighthouse Marketing and organisers of Dogstival.
‘Being outdoors and with acres of space to socially distance, we are confident in the level of public safety and we will of course be investing in a wide range of hygiene measures to protect our guests.’
Tickets cost £13.90 for adults and £8 for children aged six to 16 (anyone younger can go for free) and must be purchased ahead of the event, in order to comply with ‘track and trace’ requirements.
Can you take a better outdoors photo than this? (pic: Lego)
Lego and the National Trust are encouraging kids to go outdoors for a ‘play-cation’ and the chance to win a bunch of free Lego sets.
Going outdoors is a much more complicated business than it used to be, especially for kids. Parents will obviously be wary about letting them out, but the National Trust has partnered with Lego, and JB Gill from JLS, to try and encourage everyone to venture out on Wednesday 5, August.
Lego’s not the first thing you think of when it comes to playing outdoors but they’ve helped launch a Young Explorer competition where kids aged 12 and under are being challenged to create the most imaginative, and adventurous, nature scenes they can.
The winner will be named Lego Young Explorer of the Year and get a 12-month National Trust family membership bundle, including National Trust story books, and, most importantly, a year’s supply of Lego sets.
One of the judges for the event – in case you were wondering where he came into it – will be JLS star and former farmer JB Gill, alongside Lego’s David Pallash and the National Trust’s Anita Stevens.
To enter the competition all you have to do is submit your kids’ photos and stories on Facebook using the hashtag #LEGOYoungExplorer and tagging @nationaltrust.
A Lego-sized outdoors adventure (pic: Lego)
The criteria is pretty broad but what the judges are looking for is an imaginative photo and story that shows Lego being played with in the outdoors, like the examples you see here.
The photos don’t have to literally be outdoors, they can be in the garden or on a plant pot, but the National Trust are worried that with so many families planning to stay at home this summer, on so-called stay-cations, kids need an excuse to get outside and play.
JB is an expert on the outdoors… and Lego, apparently (pic: Lego)
If you’ve got a celebrity story, video or pictures get in touch with the Metro.co.uk entertainment team by emailing us celebtips@metro.co.uk, calling 020 3615 2145 or by visiting our Submit Stuff page – we’d love to hear from you.
My home birth felt like a second chance and it was the most healing and empowering experience I have ever had (Picture: Ndéla Faye)
I can still transport myself to the exact moment, a little over a year ago, when I realised I was about to give birth to my baby alone in my bathroom, without medical assistance.
I get shivers recalling the cocktail of emotions: exhilaration, fear, and a magical sense of something primitive and powerful that was bigger than anything I ever knew could inhabit my body and mind.
I had to push the confines of my rational brain to one side, surrender to my instincts and allow them to override any fear I had.
Less than two minutes later, together with my husband, I pulled our baby out into this world, and safely into our arms.
The midwives were on the way, but I had wanted this. My first child’s birth had been incredibly traumatic and not only did birthing at home seem right, as a Black woman, it felt like the safest option.
Research has found that people of colour – and Black people in particular – are not taken as seriously when they are in pain.
An Americanstudy from 2016 showed that Black patients were half as likely to be offered pain medication than white patients.
And another US paper published in the same year revealed that a number of doctors still have misbeliefs about biological differences between Black and white people, such as Black people’s skin being thicker and that they are biologically stronger.
With my first baby, born a year and a half before, I had arrived at the hospital already wanting to push – but I have a tendency to retreat inward when I am in pain, and due to my calm demeanour, the staff questioned whether I was even in established labour. I instantly felt dismissed, scared and out of control.
It wasn’t until I begged midwives to examine me that they realised my baby’s head was almost out, and staff started panicking.
Although he was born safely – just 30 minutes after arriving in hospital – there was a cascade of interventions, where I ended up with an episiotomy (a surgical incision) and my baby was born with the help of a ventouse (a suction device), which a consulting midwife later told me were unnecessary, and all I needed was the right support.
In the days and months that followed the birth, I felt as though I had failed my baby. My child ended up needing physiotherapy on his neck, which may or may not have been a result of the ventouse, and this added to my feelings of guilt. I felt I had not succeeded in keeping him safe.
When I got pregnant for a second time a year later, I was determined to advocate for myself and my unborn baby, and do whatever I could to avoid another hospital birth.
I spent hours trawling through journal articles and studies on medical conditions, complications and maternity rights.
However, the language used by medical staff in charge of my care (like the midwife, who told me: ‘We’ll see if you will be allowed a home birth’) was indicative of wider issues that sought to remove bodily autonomy.
Very quickly, I realised that I was going to have to fight various medical professionals for what I wanted. They claimed I shouldn’t have the baby at home because my blood pressure was high whenever I had antenatal checks.
But I suffer from ‘white coat syndrome’, which means my blood pressure is fine when I take it at home but elevated whenever I talk to medical professionals.
I ended up pleading with a midwife to agree to give me an ‘all-clear’ for my homebirth. She saw that I understood the risks, and agreed that some of her team members had been ‘over the top’ and there was no reason for me not to have my baby at home.
I love telling the story of how my second-born came into this world. I had my baby, took a shower, ordered a pizza, and went to bed with my newborn
Every time I had to prove to medical staff I was making an informed decision, I wondered how many others do not have the time, resources or ability to advocate themselves, and how many have fallen through the net.
Throughout history, women have been ignored, mistreated and abused, but we cannot discount misogynoir – the double whammy of racism and sexism – when discussing birthing rights, and brush it under ‘all women matter’.
And with the move from the historic midwife-led approach, to an ultra-medicalised, obstetrician-led one, it can feel like pregnant and birthing women have very little control over what happens to their bodies.
Black women and people of colour have to contend with overt and covert racism in addition to all this.
It stretches back to 1845, when a white doctor named J. Marion Sims first practised inhumane gynecological procedures on Black female slaves.
In the UK, women from ethnic minority backgrounds also face challenges accessing to perinatal mental health support; a US study found that Black women are the group least likely to initiate treatment for postnatal mental illness, and the least likely to receive follow up treatment.
Following my eldest child’s birth, I harboured a lot of resentment, guilt, sadness and anxiety, and it made me doubt whether medical staff truly had my best interests at heart.
Fearing the people who are supposed to look after you when you are at your most vulnerable is a deeply unsettling experience.
Knowing I am five times more likely than white people to die giving birth, is enough to put the fear in me forever.
Birth rights are human rights. Nobody gives these up when they become pregnant and at the heart of every person’s experience is a need to be heard.
In this regard, words matter; starting with the term ‘delivering’ a baby. Birth is not a passive, no one ‘delivers’ your baby – mothers birth their own children, however much help they need in doing it.
Personally, I do not feel safe in a hospital; my home birth felt like a second chance and it was the most healing and empowering experience I have ever had.
I love telling the story of how my second-born came into this world. I had my baby, took a shower, ordered a pizza, and went to bed with my newborn – and my eldest met his new sibling the next morning.
Despite things not having gone exactly to plan, it felt amazing that I was able to give birth where I wanted. I felt safe and secure, and found my physical recovery infinitely easier the second time around too. I felt validated, and like my fight for what I wanted had been all worth it; and I had been proven right.
I am not anti-doctor, or against medical interventions. It was just not the right route for me, this time around. However, it might be for someone else – and that is the key: we need to do whatever we can to support the needs of birthing people.
We need more listening, more respect, and more trust.
The contents of the July box (Picture: Lush/Getty)
Lush fans, we have some good news.
The cosmetics brand is launching a subscription service and it’s your chance to try out lots of products before they hit the shelves.
Those who sign up to the Lush Kitchen box will get four to five new items posted to their door each month.
The contents will be based on a subscriber vote from a changing monthly menu, as well as a few surprises.
It is pricey at £35 plus shipping but if you already buy similar products all the time it might make sense for you.
It works out around £7 per product but of course, you get exclusive items, which makes it a bit more of a treat.
Subscribers will also become members of the Lush Kitchen community, giving them access to news and information and the chance to share their thoughts on the products in the box.
Jack Constantine, Lush Chief Digital officer, said: ‘I love building strong relationships and conversations with the Lush community online and the Lush Kitchen Box is the perfect way to do that.
‘It’s so exciting to be on the pulse of the community, reacting to their feedback and coming up with twists on old classics or new ideas that Lush can produce and the customers love.’
You’ll have until 10th each month to subscribe and vote for your favourites. Payment is taken the next day and then the team start making all the products so they are as fresh as possible when they arrive.
The boxes are all dispatched on the last day of each month.
Plastic containers are useful to keep your lunch in or to store leftovers but they can quickly become stained.
Food somehow looks a lot more unappetising when there’s an orange glare coming off the plastic box.
But one woman has revealed how she handles the oily marks and people say it’s life-changing.
Adi Kempler posted a video on TikTok showing how she uses kitchen roll to get amazing results.
There’s no need to leave the containers to soak and no scrubbing involved. In fact, the whole process takes under a minute.
Adi squirts a little washing up liquid into the container, adds warm water and then rips off a few pieces of kitchen roll and tears them up into smaller pieces.
She adds them to the soapy water, puts the lid on and shakes for about 45 seconds.
She then tips the contents into the sink and picks the kitchen roll out to put it into the bin (don’t let it clog up your drain!).
The kitchen roll helps to absorb and break down the oily residue, and it left Adi’s containers looking as good as new.
Adi captioned her video: ‘So, I never post on here but I really wanted to share this trick for getting greasy stains out of Tupperware.
‘This hack has saved so many of my Tupperware friends. Try it!!!!’
Her video has had over 500,000 likes and others who have tried it out recommend it too.
One said: ‘A third said: “This works I’ve done it numerous times.’
Another commenter said: ‘That might’ve just changed my life.’
McDonald’s is taking part in Eat Out To Help Out – but is breakfast included? (Picture: Getty Images)
People across the country are heading back to restaurants in the wake of the Government’s Eat Out To Help Out scheme, which gives discounts on meals eaten out in August.
Customers can take advantage of 50% off – up to £10 a head – at participating venues on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays this month, in a bid to kickstart the economy following coronavirus lockdown.
Is McDonald’s breakfast included in Eat Out To Help Out?
McDonald’s Eat Out To Help Out discounts cover every item on the menu – so that means that breakfast is included in the deal too.
Currently, McDonald’s is serving a reduced breakfast menu – with wraps, bagels, and porridge currently unavailable – as the chain continues to get back to normal, following the closure of its restaurants in March as the country went into lockdown.
However, customers taking advantage of Eat Out To Help Out can enjoy 50% off breakfast meals from Mondays to Wednesdays – and there is no limit on how many times the discount can be used.
Your breakfast muffin will be cheaper than usual (Picture: Getty Images)
The offer only applies to meals eaten in, however, as opposed to takeaway and delivery.
What are the reduced prices on McDonald’s breakfast menu?
The scheme means that a breakfast meal which would normally cost £3.99 will now set you back just £1.75.
McDonald’s was one of the many chains which closed in the wake of lockdown (Picture: PA)
A sausage and egg McMuffin meal is also now £1.75, down from £3.49, while a sausage and egg McMuffin on its own is £1.10, instead of the usual £2.19.
Breakfasters can also take advantage of knockdown prices on drinks, with a regular black coffee now just 50p instead of £1.39, tea just 49p instead of £1.09, a cappuccino or flat white 74p instead of £1.79, a single espresso just 39p, or a double espresso 49p (down from 99p).
