Quantcast
Channel: Lifestyle – Metro
Viewing all 70261 articles
Browse latest View live

Daughters save mum’s life after she started choking on Hula Hoop

0
0
Paris with Kallie and Harper
Paris with daughters Kallie and Harper who she credits with saving her life (Picture: Paris Baker)

A mum has praised her daughters after they saved her life when she started choking on a crisp.

Paris Baker, 29, taught her daughters Kallie, nine, and Harper, five, first aid because she has motor neurone disease (MND) so is likely to need their help in the future.

And when she started coughing at their home in Feltham, Middlesex, instinct kicked in, and they saved her life.

Paris said: ‘Harper was playing mums, feeding me, then her teddy and finally herself. It was an accident. After a few turns, the Hula Hoop shot to the back of my throat.

‘They immediately started hitting my back as I leant forward. After about a minute of them delivering me hard and regular blows to my back, Kallie went to call an ambulance as she started to worry.

‘As she did this Harper carried on hitting my back and thankfully the Hula Hoop finally dislodged. I am so proud of how they immediately knew what to do and kept calm throughout that scary ordeal.

‘Only after did the panic and shock hit them which is completely understandable.

‘I am sharing my story to encourage adults to teach children basic first aid and what to do in an emergency situation because they can save a life just like my girls saved mine. I owe them everything and am so proud.’

She Added: ‘I am so grateful we taught our daughters what to do in an emergency situation. I only taught them first aid because of the illness I’m living with but that proved to me that accidents like that can happen to absolutely anyone.’

The girls were given bravery awards for what they did
The girls were given bravery awards for what they did (Picture: Paris Baker)

Paris was diagnosed with MND in 2017, a year after she started experiencing symptoms, and was told she had five years to live. The condition will gradually paralyse her, leaving her trapped inside her body.

It was because of her condition that she taught her daughters about first aid.

Paris said: ‘Due to my condition, I am prone to falls and have obtained some serious injuries from them, including a broken nose, splitting my chin and also splitting my head open which all needed surgery or stitches.

‘I felt it was very important to teach my girls what to do in an emergency situation.

‘This included applying pressure to a bleeding wound, what to do if someone is choking and how to call the emergency services.

‘They know that if my husband (their dad) isn’t home and an emergency occurs there are three steps.

‘Step one ring is to 999, ask for an ambulance and give our address. Step two is to put our dogs in the garden and step three is to open the front door for the emergency services. There are also very useful videos on YouTube to teach children first aid.’

Motor neurone disease normally affects people over the age of 40 and it is rare to be found in someone of Paris’s age.

She said: ‘I originally started getting symptoms in 2016. At the time I was working in a stock room and randomly would lose grip and drop parcels. My speech became slurred and started getting twitches in my arm.

‘Then the muscle in my hand faded away. It took over a year of intensive tests including numerous MRI’s, blood work, X-rays, lumbar puncture, lung function tests and finally a EMG test to diagnose MND.

‘I am a former British gymnast and represented Great Britain and won silver at the European and World Championships.

‘My neurologist said I was the fittest and one of the youngest to ever be diagnosed. My neurologist is amazed at the fact I’ve nearly been diagnosed for nearly four years and am still able to walk and talk as I am beating statistics. I’m still here.

‘The condition impacts me enormously. I am mainly affected with my speech and hands. I find simple tasks difficult. I am no longer able to write as I cannot grip a pen and struggle with things like getting dressed, doing my hair and makeup, cooking etc.

‘My left hand is completely paralysed and my right hand is now affected. My shoulders have become very stiff and I am no longer able to lift my arms. My speech has become very slurred so it’s difficult for people to understand me.’

Before her diagnosis, Paris was a teaching assistant and had learned first aid through her work.

She decided to take what she knew and pass it onto her girls as she was worried about what would happen as the disease worsened.

Paris’ husband Daniel works part-time as a postman alongside being her carer but there are times where she is alone with the children and she is still able to care for them at the moment.

You can follow Paris and her family’s journey on her Facebook page MND won’t beat me and my family.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch at metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk.

MORE: Loyal dog saves tipsy owner from falling and puts her in bed

MORE: Five-year-old saves mum’s life by dialling number on side of toy ambulance


Woman reveals hack to hide guest bed with radiator cover for anyone who doesn’t have a spare room

0
0
The radiator cover both on and off the guest bed
You would have no idea (Picture: DIY On A Budget UK/ Facebook)

It’s great to have somewhere for people to stay overnight but a little awkward if you don’t have a spare room.

A fold up guest bed means you can quickly turn your living room into somewhere a little more comfortable to sleep – but it’s not exactly pretty to look at if you have to store it in a hallway or somewhere people use lots.

One woman has come up with a genius solution to subtly store a guest bed anywhere in your house, without it being an eyesore.

Barbara Knox placed a radiator cover over the top so it was hidden and then added a few knick-knacks to make it look even more stylish.

The radiator cover being lifted off the guest bed, which is propped up against the wall
When she lifts it off, there’s a guest bed underneath (Picture: DIY On A Budget UK/ Facebook)

According to The Sun, she has the single Jay-Be Value Folding Bed from Argos and she was able to use a 112cm length, 82cm height and 19cm depth radiator cover over the top.

She made brackets for the cover out of little pieces of wood
The brackets underneath (Picture: DIY On A Budget UK/ Facebook)

Posting on the DIY on a Budget UK group Facebook group, Barbara Knox said: ‘I used a radiator cover to hide folding bed for guests …. worked pretty well I think.’

She added brackets to the wall so the cover could just be lifted on and off.

The guest bed can then be stored there and easily pulled out when needed.

Other people in the group were amazed by the simple idea and said it would be perfect for their own homes.

One said: ‘This is probably the best idea I’ve seen on here.’

Another added: ‘Barbara for prime minister!’

‘I am sitting on this bed right now and it is an eye sore during the day, this idea is bloody brilliant!!!’ someone else said.

Do you have a hack to share?

Get in touch at metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk.

MORE: Mum’s quick hack for using leftover bolognese sauce in garlic bread ‘cups’ goes down a treat

MORE: Woman transforms her kitchen for just £144 using incredible DIY tile hack

Maltesers launches white and milk chocolate truffles advent calendar

0
0
Mars Maltesers white and milk chocolate truffles advent calendar
The Maltesers white and milk chocolate truffle calendar (Picture: Tesco)

You might already be counting down to Christmas but it all becomes much more exciting on 1 December when you can have a chocolate each day.

We’ve already brought you lots of exciting advent calendars this year but this one from Maltesers looks amazing.

You can get a mix of their chocolate truffles, some made from milk chocolate and some made from white chocolate to celebrate the festive period.

The brand launched the white chocolate version of the popular truffles in 2019 but this is the first advent calendar bringing both flavours together.

The truffle is made up of a creamy chocolate filling, with tiny malt balls and pieces of honeycomb, coated in a layer of chocolate.

Product based Instagram page @_well_this_is_new spotted the calendar for sale at Tesco, priced at £8 (though the cost may vary at each supermarket). It’s also available online if you want to order one.

People on social media loved the idea of opening up a window each day to get either flavour of the sweets.

For those who aren’t a fan of white chocolate, there’s also a similar calendar with just the milk chocolate truffles for the same price.

You get 218g of the sweets, which is actually quite pricey as a medium gift box weighing 200g is usually £5 at Tesco.

It didn’t seem to put fans off on social media though.

One said: ‘Omgggg i need this.’

Another added: ‘Advent calendar sorted.’

‘This is a game changer!’ someone else said.

MORE: How to make no-bake Malteser bars in just 15 minutes

MORE: Maltesers launches UK’s first ever flavoured product with mint chocolate buttons

MORE: How to make five-ingredient Baileys and Maltesers fudge in a slow cooker

Tombstone tourist: Why visiting these beautiful cemeteries should be on your bucket list

0
0
the graveyard at 16 Rue du Repos, 75020 Paris
With Halloween approaching, there’s no better time to visit a beautiful cemetery (Picture: Marc BERTRAND)

No longer just a hangout for bats, cemeteries have become destinations in their own right for those who want to appreciate their eerie beauty, spirituality and, of course, their peace and quiet.

Take a look at some of the most serene cemeteries from around the world and some of the famous faces that rest there.

Père-Lachaise, Paris, France

Tombs at Pere-Lachaise
Père-Lachaise is the final resting place of many famous figures

After spending my teenage years as a huge fan of The Doors, the first time I visited Père-Lachaise, in the low-key suburb of Ménilmontant, I made a beeline for the grave of the Californian band’s iconic lead singer, Jim Morrison (who died in the French capital in 1971).

I wasn’t the only one – it was surrounded by moody-looking, pouty, long-haired rock fans who left offerings of packets of fags and scrawled graffiti on his headstone.

Similarly, devotees paid homage to the final resting place of poet and playwright Oscar Wilde, many adorning his carved tomb with red lipstick kisses.

Elsewhere, it’s a delight to stroll through the cemetery’s elegant, tree-lined avenues, where other residents include legendary singer Édith Piaf and mime artist Marcel Marceau.

Highgate Cemetery, North London, England

Egyptian Avenue at Highgate Cemetery
The Egyptian Avenue at Highgate Cemetery looks like a gateway to the underworld

I may be biased, as I live only a few minutes away, but Highgate Cemetery is a pleasant, peaceful place to stroll.

It’s the final resting place of dozens of artists, novelists and philosophers, including the painter Lucian Freud, authors Douglas Adams and George Eliot, music legend Malcolm McLaren, and ‘father of Communism’ Karl Marx.

Created during the Victorian era, the then-romantic approach to death led to a profusion of dramatic Gothic tombs, obelisks and stone angels.

Egyptian Avenue is one of the most photogenic thoroughfares, leading to the Circle of Lebanon, a set of tombs built around an ancient cedar tree.

La Recoleta Cemetery, Buenos Aires, Argentina

Street of tombs at La Recoleta
La Recoleta’s 6000 tombs are an incredible sight

One of the most famous women in Argentina is buried here: the actress María Eva Duarte, better known by the time of her death in 1952 as Eva Perón, wife to the country’s president.

Her grand, heavily fortified mausoleum is adorned with brass plaques for the other Duarte family members also interred there.

There are more than 6,000 tombs, designed like Greek and Gothic temples and fairy-tale grottoes, housing some of the country’s most celebrated intellectuals, army generals and entertainers.

Look out for the life-size statue of boxer Luis Ángel Firpo, eternally represented in his robe.

Mirogoj Cemetery, Zagreb, Croatia

Covered walkway at Mirogoj
This beautful Croatian cemetery is known for is stunning Italianate architecture and elegant walkways

A contender for the title of most beautiful graveyard in Europe, the grand 19th-century Mirogoj is full of Italianate-style columns, domes, arcades and black-and-white-tiled passageways (right) – much of it covered in ivy.

It describes itself as an ‘open-air museum’, possibly because of the large number of statues and sculptures that adorn many of the graves, created by some of Croatia’s finest artists and sculptors.

These include Rodin’s apprentice Robert Frangeš-Mihanović and the renowned Ivan Meštrović. On a sunny day, strolling around its perfectly cultivated parklands and gardens is an oddly life-enhancing experience.

Panteón General Oaxaca, Centro, 68000 Oaxaca, Mexico

Day of the Dead shrine at Oaxaca
Mexicans celebrate the Day of the Dead by decorating the graves of their loved ones

It may sound odd to put a visit to a cemetery on your bucket list but this was on mine five years ago for the celebrations for Day of the Dead.

Held at the start of November, families gather to decorate loved ones’ graves with flowers, figurines and candles.

It’s a colourful, uplifting, vibrant celebration, with music, singing and dancing, and this grand graveyard in central Oaxaca is a very special setting in which to experience it.

Bonaventure, Savannah, USA

Tomb and statue of an angel, Bonaventure
If your a fan of Southern Gothic, Bonaventure is not to be missed

Practically a physical representation of the literary genre Southern Gothic, you’ll find trees draped in Spanish moss stooping over cracked gravestones in this atmospheric burial ground.

Savannah, in Georgia, styles itself as America’s most haunted city, thanks to its calamitous past – blighted by yellow fever, wars, famine, slavery and natural disasters.

One of its spectral-looking statues, known as Bird Girl, found fame on the cover of John Berendt’s 1994 novel Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil, (later made into a film starring Jude Law and John Cusack).

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE: Why you should visit Lyme Regis as Kate Winslet’s new film Ammonite puts area back on the map

MORE: The Hot List: Ghoulish goodies you need to create your own haunted house for Halloween


‘We couldn’t wait to have a big family – so we adopted three kids at once’

0
0
Little baby boy feet, baby lie down in bed in the afternoon
The couple adopted three children at once (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

After meeting in their early 40s, Gareth and Clare quickly realised they wanted a family together.

Gareth wanted lots of children – six or seven – but they managed to compromise on three.

But as they were older, they knew having three kids was going to be difficult.

So instead, they decided to adopt – and they ended up welcoming a group of siblings, age four, three and one, in one go through adoption.

Speaking to Metro.co.uk for Adoption Month, Clare explains: ‘Gareth really wanted lots of children, he was talking six or seven but we finally managed to agree on three.

‘Obviously, due to our ages, we realised it was probably unrealistic to think that we would have the family we wanted the usual way. 

‘Bringing up children and enjoying family life was the main driver for us rather than creating a mini-me or passing on our genes, so adoption seemed the natural route for us to take.’

They started the process in 2015 and for them, it was a very positive experience.

Clare adds: ‘Historically, there’s a lot of negative thinking around the adoption process and we’d heard so many scare stories, we’re hoping we can dispel that myth having been through it.

‘We were allocated a fantastic social worker, Lorraine, who was very thorough. Although the process can be intrusive, we never felt that.  

‘I can honestly say I really rather enjoyed the process – how often do you get to sit and talk about yourself for hours on end and the other person just sits and listens intently?!  It’s also somewhat of a voyage of discovery about yourself – your values, your upbringing, what has shaped you into the person you are today.’ 

They were approved as adopters in mid March and were committed to welcoming a sibling group.

Clare explains: ‘We felt we’d already waited a lifetime for our own family. We knew we wanted three so thought “let’s just get on with it”.

‘We also knew that sibling groups wait longer for a family. We also considered that when you adopt and then look to adopt again, the social workers are keen to keep ‘the natural order of things’ where possible in that any other children need to be at least nine months to a year younger than the previous child, as happens generally. 

‘People are often amazed that we took on our three littles all in one go but as we always say, we’ve never known any different, so I doubt we’re any more bewildered than any other first time parents who had just the one.

‘I remember the chair of the adoption panel walking over to give us their recommendation, looking all serious, his words were: “Three?  We think you’re mad, but you’re approved.”‘

They were added to the adoption register for Wales (Linkmaker), which assists with finding families for children and quickly realised how often sibling groups can wait longer.

Clare explains: ‘We put all our details in and by the time we were matched with our three in early April, we’d been contacted by 11 different family finding social workers looking for forever families for their little gangs. 

‘We found it emotional that so many young children needed families, but also heartening that such efforts were being made to keep siblings together.  It’s so important.’

Almost 12 months exactly from when they started the adoption process, their children came home.

‘We certainly believe that having that continuity and connection helped our children to settle into their new home more easily,’ Clare says.

‘The whole introduction and moving in phase is just a blur – best word of advice is to keep lots of instant porridge pots to hand as we were so wrapped up in the children, we would forget to eat! 

‘The first thing our son said to us was, “oh it’s mummy and daddy” which just blew us away and the second thing was, “do you have food at your house?” which is a sharp reminder of the hardships these children have often endured in their journey towards a safe, secure and loving family environment, which is every child’s right.’

From there, they quickly got used to life as a family of five and the couple began to understand more about being adoptive parents.

Clare adds: ‘There are challenges and benefits to adopting a sibling group. For some, their established connection can make it easier for them to settle into their new family.

‘I think there’s always that primaeval safety in numbers thing – they’re not on their own, suddenly living with two people they don’t really know, calling themselves mummy and daddy.

‘In saying that, the bond they have is also a reminder of the shared trauma they have suffered in the past. 

‘There is a lot more awareness now of the impacts of trauma and adverse early life experience and there is support available to help in terms of therapeutic intervention such as attachment therapy and life story work, which is invaluable and available to adoptive families via your post-adoption social worker. 

‘Parenting adopted children is different and there can be added complications, so make sure you get the support you need. It is out there so shout for it. Thrive, not just survive.’

Now, four years on since the children came home, they are a very happy family.

Clare adds: ‘Our children have come on leaps and bounds since they came to us, they have adopted us and are super keen to absorb as many people as possible into our family love bubble – we liken them to Star Trek’s The Borg – you will be assimilated, resistance is futile! 

‘They are 100% our children, no doubt about it.  My son gave me a hug the other day, smiled and said to me that he wished he’d come out of my tummy, I felt tremendously privileged and thought I must be doing something right! 

‘We are in constant awe of their bravery and resilience.  They’re truly inspirational.  I saw two posters the other day one that read: “Welcome to our beautiful chaos” and the other: “Our family is one tent away from a full-blown circus”. I laughed out loud and thought, yep, that’s us and we love it.’

You can hear more about Gareth and Clare’s adoption journey in the National Adoption Service’s new podcast, Truth Be Told: adoption stories. Listen to the latest episode here.

MORE: What it’s like becoming a single mum by adoption during lockdown

MORE: ‘My adoptive parents took me from Korea to rural Australia, but made sure I never forgot my roots’

MORE: Four months after adopting my seven-year-old son, he tried to strangle me

Adoption Month

Adoption Month is a month-long series covering all aspects of adoption.

For the next four weeks, which includes National Adoption Week from October 14-19, we will be speaking to people who have been affected by adoption in some way, from those who chose to welcome someone else's child into their family to others who were that child.

We'll also be talking to experts in the field and answering as many questions as possible associated with adoption, as well as offering invaluable advice along the way.

If you have a story to tell or want to share any of your own advice please do get in touch at adoptionstories@metro.co.uk.

Mum turns leftover bread crusts into delicious French toast chips her kids love

0
0
Mum's hack to use up crusts
These look delicious (Picture: Facebook)

Kids can be fussy and one mum knows that the only way her children will eat their packed lunch is if she cuts the crusts off the sandwiches.

But not wanting the leftovers to go to waste, she had a genius idea to save them and make something the family would love.

She freezes all the crusts throughout the week and then uses them at the weekend to make french toast chips.

The Australian mum said it’s a great treat and it uses up the leftovers.

She posted: ‘This isn’t healthy and it’s not about what to pack in their lunchbox, but it is about making use of the sandwich crusts you make for lunches if your kids are like mine and want the crusts off their sandwiches.

‘If you’re sick of wasting crusts, then I’ve got a mum hack for you!

She keeps a zip lock bag in the freezer and then fills it up with the crusts as she cuts them off throughout the week.

By the end of the week, the bag is full and she defrosts the crusts, dips them in a French toast egg and milk mixture and then fries in butter.

She said the kids ‘suddenly love’ the crusts when they are cooked like this.

Other parents said it was a great idea and shared some of their own trips for using the leftover pieces they cut off.

One said she bakes them in the oven and coats them in cinnamon sugar to make a crispy sweet snack.

Another suggested spreading Vegemite or Nutella on them and folding them up to eat.

Do you have a parenting hack to share?

Get in touch at metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk.

MORE: Woman shares recipe for Nutella-stuffed French toast fingers that take three minutes to make

MORE: Dessert shop shares recipe for Terry’s White Chocolate Orange hot chocolate

MORE: People love this easy recipe for three-ingredient slow-cooked banana bread

Five of the best free virtual events you can join online this week

0
0
woman on laptop
How to have fun online this week (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

With a wet autumn week ahead, I’ve been trawling the internet to find the perfect line-up of free events you can attend from the exquisite comfort of your sofa.

Restrictions may be in place, but with so many amazing activities available online, nothing can stop you from having fun.

And, it has never been more important to keep yourself occupied. We all need things to look forward to – and we have all got to be a little more inventive with our plans at the moment.

Whether you’re a film fanatic, a fitness freak, crazy for coffee or up for a Halloween house party, I’ve got you covered.

So, without further ado…

Walk the (virtual) red carpet

Call Nina
This sounds amazing (Picture: Andrew Ness)

It’s the world premiere of Call Nina!, a new documentary described as ‘a modern take on intersectionality and feminism, from a Black woman’s perspective’.

The film follows British actress and activist Josette Bushell-Mingo as she prepares for her role in the internationally-acclaimed Nina – A Story About Me and Nina Simone.

Call Nina! is being screened as part of the Belfast International Arts Festival, an eclectic series of events, performances, talks and more, many of which are free of charge.

When: Tuesday 27 October, 6pm onwards

Sign up online here.

Fancy yourself an Olympic champion?

Runner
Push yourself (Picture: Everyone Active)

Want to push yourself to the next level and really get your sweat on?

This Wednesday you can take part in a one-of-a-kind, high intensity Olympic workout led by none other than British champion sprinter Harry Aikines-Aryeetey.

The workout will be streamed on Everyone Active’s Facebook and Instagram pages and is part of a series of free virtual masterclasses led by Olympians, prima ballerinas and yogi masters.

When: Wednesday 28 October, 6pm onwards

Tune in via Everyone Active’s Facebook and Instagram pages

Celebrate independent cinema

Halloween film
Movies make us happy (Picture: April 7, 1908)

Wednesday marks the launch of the UK’s Raindance Film Festival 2020, which is 100% online this year (I wonder why?…).

The festival celebrates the best of independent cinema from around the world through films and immersive experiences – all totally free of charge (although donations are welcome).

Highlights include the world premieres of Woolf Women, the true story of five female downhill skateboarders and their adventure to an ancient monastery in Turkey, and April 7, 1908, an Israeli film based on a real event when terrorists infiltrated a kibbutz.

When: Wednesday 28 October – Sunday 7 November, various times

Sign up online here.

Coffee lovers, unite!

Coffee
Get your caffeine fix (Picture: Global Coffee Festival)

Are you an americano aficionado?

Don’t miss the Global Coffee Festival, a completely free virtual series of caffeine-centric talks, workshops and experiences stretching from Seoul to Toronto to Paris.

The packed programme includes a live interview with David Abrahamovitch (the founder and CEO of Grind), an exclusive insider tour of Amsterdam’s specialty coffee scene and something called a ‘plant-based latte art throwdown’ (me neither).

When: Friday 30 October – Monday 1 November, various times

Sign up online here.

Party ‘in’ Dracula’s Castle

Dracula castle
It’s spooky season (Picture: elrow)

Being stuck at home doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Halloween this year.

Tune into a special set from UK DJ and producer Eats Everything who will be hitting the decks from the depths of Bran Castle in Transylvania, Romania – aka Dracula’s Castle.

Described as a ‘non-stop panic party’ (scary, right?), virtual viewers will be transported into a ‘House of Terror’ complete with frightening décor, dancing zombies, laughing clowns and dance floor monsters.

The show is hosted by elrow, the immersive music experience, and drinks brand Desperados, and is the latest in a series of lockdown-inspired parties.

When: Saturday 31 October, 5pm onwards

Tune in via elrow’s Facebook and YouTube

Looking for more free virtual events and weekly free-to-enter competitions? Subscribe to the Cheapskate London newsletter today or follow us on Instagram.

Do you have a story to share? We want to hear from you.

Get in touch: metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk.

MORE: Tombstone tourist: Why visiting these beautiful cemeteries should be on your bucket list

MORE: ‘We couldn’t wait to have a big family – so we adopted three kids at once’

MORE: Everything you need to know about investing your money ethically

Music-loving cat sticks his tongue out whenever he hears his favourite U2 song

0
0

Jesse the cat is quite the music lover.

The nine-year-old long-haired Persian enjoys U2 so much, he sticks his tongue out every time he listens to the band.

Jesse went viral after owner Gary Adams posted a video of him lapping up Bono belting out the hits.

Gary, 49, says the moggie always sticks his tongue out while listening to U2 classic ‘Where The Streets Have No Name’.

Bizarrely, Jesse’s tongue remains protruding for several hours after listening to the tune.

A video clip shows Jesse closing his eyes and bobbing his head to the beat midway through the guitar solo.

The cat is famous around his neighbourhood of Harborne in Birmingham because of the trick.

CAT WITH TONGUE STICKING OUT
Doing what he does best (Picture: SWNS)

Gary, who adopted former stray Jesse six years ago when he wandered into his garden, said: ‘He is quite well known in the neighborhood for sitting outside the house waiting for passers-by.

‘He likes to listen to U2 every day and his tongue just comes out and it stays there for the rest of the day.

‘He lies down on his back, sticks his tongue out, and waits for a stroke on his belly. He really does make people laugh.’

Jesse the cat who likes nothing more than sticking his tongue out while listening to music, after dental surgery left him missing a front tooth.
After he listens to U2, Jesse keeps his tongue out for the rest of the day (Picture: SWNS)

When he was adopted, Gary took him to the vet to sort out his teeth.

‘He had gum disease and had to have one of his two front teeth removed,’ explained Gary.

‘That’s when he started sticking his tongue out but only when he heard U2.

Jesse the cat who likes nothing more than sticking his tongue out while listening to music, after dental surgery left him missing a front tooth.
Dental surgery left the cat without front teeth (Picture: SWNS)

‘He is cheeky and a bit of a character. It’s quite unusual for cats to stick their tongue out.

‘It’s also unusual how he follows you round like a dog and joins us on a half-mile circular route.’

Gary, an area manager for energy giant E.On, added: ‘When it gets to the guitar solo it’s as if his mouth gets relaxed by the music, but he doesn’t do it during other songs.

‘I posted some video on social media and within 24 hours more than 20,000 people around the world had viewed and shared it. It went bonkers.’

Do you have a cat or dog story you want to share?

Email metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk to tell us more.

MORE: Cat returns home after being missing for eight years

MORE: Cats spread Covid-19 and must self-isolate, warn scientists


Dirtiest kitchen appliance revealed as 80% of people say they never clean it

0
0
colourful kitchen
New research has shed light on our dirty kitchen habits… (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)

As it’s the place that we prepare and eat food, we don’t like to think that our kitchens are dirty.

But a new study has revealed the dirtiest appliance in the kitchen – and it’s one that gets a lot of use.

The culprit? The ever-so-handy microwave.

The research, carried out by cookware store Oliver’s Kitchen, found eight out of 10 people admitted to never cleaning their microwaves – which is particularly gross considering how often food spills over or soup spits as it’s heating up.

It’s also incredibly easy to clean a microwave, simply cut a lemon in half and squeeze both pieces into about 120ml of water in a microwaveable bowl, then add the pieces to the bowl. Afterwards, microwave for three minutes on high power and leave to stand for five minutes. When you open the door, wipe the whole microwave clean.

However, it’s not just our microwaves that are lacking a little TLC in the kitchen. According to the study, 69% of respondents said they did not clean their oven regularly either.

Uncovering more dirty habits, the research found that 48% admitted to not cleaning their fridge.

What’s more, 21% confessed to not washing their hands before preparing food and 62% said they did not wash or change their kitchen dishcloth regularly – which can become a hotspot for all kinds of nasty bacteria.

With new lockdown restrictions and most of us leaving the house a lot less, now is the perfect time to carry out some deep cleaning tasks using cupboard essentials. Just be sure to use products safely, as mixing chemicals can be dangerous.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk.

MORE: Woman transforms her kitchen for just £144 using incredible DIY tile hack

MORE: Woman reveals hack to hide guest bed with radiator cover for anyone who doesn’t have a spare room

MORE: Woman discovers genius hand wash sink cleaning hack by accident

Asda is selling glow-in-the-dark roses so you can have a spooky but fragrant Halloween

0
0
Glow in the dark roses
Asda has new Halloween flowers (Picture: Joe Pepler/PinPep)

Halloween this year is going to be unlike previous years but that doesn’t mean you can’t go to town with your decorations.

If you’re looking to create a ghoulish set-up in your home, then Asda might have just the thing.

The supermarket is selling glow-in-the-dark roses, perfect for setting up in your own home or offering it as a gift this spooky season.

From 28 October, Asda customers can get their hands on an illuminating bunch of roses with a special Halloween glow for just £5.

The flowers come in bunches of five and are sure to light up the darkest of spaces with their glow in the dark magic.

Folks at the supermarket tried the flowers out in-store and the bunch illuminated the shopfloor with its green glow – matching the brand logo.

Glow in the dark roses
Yep, they definitely glow (Picture: Joe Pepler/PinPep)

An Asda spokesperson said: ‘We know our customers love fun and playful seasonal props so we’re always on the lookout for quirky, innovative offerings – especially at Halloween.

‘We think these roses might be the best yet as they’re sure to illuminate any spookily dark rooms in unexpected blackouts!

‘For a Halloween of dark nights and small celebrations, the roses are the perfect dash of fun and at only £5 per bunch – they’re a bargain too!’

The roses join other Halloween products at Asda, including Ogle the Cyclopillar and a Halloween-themed Pizza.

Of course, Asda isn’t the only supermarket offering spooky goods.

Marks & Spencer is offering a Frankencolin the Caterpillar cake and mini Frankencolins to get the spooky season underway.

Enjoy!

Do you have a story you want to share?

Email metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk to tell us more.

MORE: How to make easy gingerbread for Halloween in six steps

MORE: How to use carving leftovers to make a pumpkin pie this Halloween


Law firm advertises job for £30,000-a-year dog walker

0
0
illustration of person walking dogs
It sounds pretty ideal (Picture: Getty)

Attention, dog lovers.

If you’re passionate about canines then you could be in with a chance of making some serious cash.

A company is offering to pay someone up to £30,000 a year to walk and look after the boss’ four-legged friend.

Law firm Joseph Hage Aaronson LLP, which is based in London, has placed an advert for a personal assistant/dog-walker role which is a ‘predominantly non-desk based’ position.

The business says it’s willing to pay between £20,000 – £30,000 for the right candidate and that the individual should be a ‘self-starter’ and ‘down to earth’.

According to the advert, the firm needs someone to support a member of its senior leadership team.

They are looking for someone with previous experience within an assistant/errand running role as well as experience looking after and walking dogs.

The job description reads: ‘An excellent opportunity has arisen for a Private Assistant Dog Walker role to support one of our senior leadership team.

‘We are looking for a down to earth self-starter who relishes variety and is looking for a predominantly non-desk based role as it will require this person to run errands around London. 

‘They must be highly organised and well used to an evolving “to do list” and able to keep ahead of what needs doing.’

It adds that duties include (but aren’t limited to) running errands and general personal support, which will include some caring of the principal’s small dog.

The hours are from 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday – but it’s stressed that applicants should be flexible with their time.

Other perks of the job include a company pension, life insurance and private medical and dental insurance.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk.

MORE: Woman travels 600 miles to reunite 93-year-old with his beloved dog

MORE: Can you adopt if you have a dog or other pets?

MORE: Golden retriever has party to celebrate end of radiotherapy due to brain tumour

Benjamin Zephaniah: ‘The racist thugs of my youth are grown up and wear suits now’

0
0
Benjamin Zephaniah
The author’s new book shares the Windrush story from the perspective of a child (Picture: Adrian Pope/Metro.co.uk)

The world has changed since Benjamin Zephaniah faced racist abuse from skinhead thugs growing up on the streets of Birmingham.

The poet and novelist has seen this first hand, he has felt that shift, but change doesn’t necessarily mean things today are better for Black people in this country today.

Benjamin says racism hasn’t disappeared, it has simply become more insidious.

‘It has just changed,’ he tells Metro.co.uk. ‘I think the racists have in some ways become cleverer.

‘I remember racism in the 70s and 80s. Those racists have not gone away. There will be some people who have changed and reformed, I know some of them. There are a lot of people who still hold those racist views.

‘And where are they? Some of them are working in the town hall. Or in charge of broadcast TV shows and media platforms.

‘I remember these guys when they were teenagers with skinheads. Now, they’re dressed in suits, they’ve grown hair, and they have legitimate jobs where they can administer their racism from positions of power.’

Is this sneakier, less direct form of racism preferable to being physically assaulted in the street? Or beaten up at the hands of the police? Benjamin has been on the receiving end of both, countless times – at least with the obvious stuff, you know exactly where you stand, he says.

‘I got stopped by the police the other day. Because I was in the park with a white child. I had taken my friend’s child to the park to help them out with childcare.

‘A woman came up to me and said; “Oh that’s a cute little girl, how old is she?”, and I said; “I think she’s around two.”

‘Around 15 minutes later, the police turned up to the park. They asked me what I was doing with this child, and why didn’t I know how old she was? Which was when I realised that the woman had reported me to the police.

‘It’s funny because the questions they were asking me were everything but – “what are you doing with a white child?” But clearly that was the question they were trying to ask.’

Womad Festival - Day 4
‘When I was growing up, I got beat up three times in one day by racists.’ (Picture: David Corio/Redferns)

The officers asked him to call the child’s parents, to get them to prove that he actually was babysitting. But he didn’t want to worry the child’s mother unnecessarily.

Eventually, the writer agreed to call the mother, but he put her on speaker phone and had a normal conversation so the police officers could hear that they know each other.

‘As they were leaving I said to the officers; “are you not going to apologise?” And they said, “no, we were just doing our job.”‘

Benjamin was born in the UK, but his parents were firmly part of the Windrush generation. His mum travelled over from Jamaica after seeing a poster advertising the UK as an attractive place to live. She borrowed £70 from her uncle for a boat ticket and set out to start a new life.

The author’s latest book Windrush Child, draws on the experiences of children who came to the UK during that period – experiences that could have been his if he had been born a few years earlier. The book is for children, but Benjamin doesn’t sugarcoat the brutality or language that Black immigrant children would have faced during that time.

‘I wanted to get as realistic as possible,’ he explains. ‘In an early blurb I wrote for the book, I said that I like my fiction to be true.

‘There was a kind of debate between us and the publishers about some of the language I use, but I said I will take full responsibility. This has to be the language I use, because this is the reality.

‘Every scene in that book is based on truth. I don’t want anything to be too fantastical. When I was growing up, and I’m British born, I got beat up three times in one day by racists.

‘In my first experience of racism, someone smacked me on the back of the head with a brick and said: “go home you Black bastard”, and I just couldn’t understand because I was already walking home at the time.

‘They never say to you: “go home person from a minority background”, they call you a Black bastard, or worse. And I didn’t want to shy away from that reality.’

Windrush Child book cover
‘I wanted to get as realistic as possible. I like my fiction to be true.’ (Picture: Scholastic)

Benjamin wants his book to tell the truth. He wants children to learn that there isn’t only one version of British history, the version that he says is both limited and ‘whitewashed’ when it is taught in schools.

‘We need a better teaching of history. And that applies to white history, too,’ he tells us.

‘I was frustrated when I was at school. Teachers were only telling me about which king and queen slept together and what baby they had, who they had a fight with – but I was thinking, what about the history of Mr and Mrs Smith down the road? What about the normal history of normal people? I hated history in school.

‘You can never get everybody’s history. You’ll never get Black history, Irish history, Scottish history. But what we’ve got to teach, I think, is that it’s all there.’

He says it’s important to interrogate the perspectives of the history we are taught. Why are certain narratives so prevalent? Who do those narratives serve?

‘We started the teaching of history as kind of propaganda for those who were victorious,’ he explains. ‘That’s basically all it was.

‘We keep, to this day, being told that we won the Second World War. We never won the Second World War. We were on the winning side. We never would have won that war on our own.’

The poet believes it’s important to learn about the racism and racial inequalities that still exist in this country today from a young age.

He knows first-hand the damage that can be caused by experiencing racism as a child, and he believes that acknowledging its existence is the first step.

‘When I was in primary school, I went to the loo and I got some pee on the seat,’ he explains. ‘You know what little boys are like.

‘The teacher took me out in front of the whole school in assembly and lectured me. She said: “In this country, when boys go to the toilet they have to pick up the toilet seat. That’s what we do in this country, don’t we boys and girls?”

‘It really confused me. I was thinking – why does she keep saying “in this country”? I remember that for days after I just kept thinking “in this country, in this country” – why did she keep saying that?

‘I was really scared. It made me think I was in the wrong country or someone was going to make me leave or something.’

Lockdown has been a turbulent time for the writer. At the beginning he was able to knuckle down and finish his latest children’s book. But, when George Floyd was killed and the Black Lives Matter movement rose to a head, he found himself at the centre of media attention.

The harrowing last moments of Geroge Floyd’s life stirred up painful and traumatic memories of his cousin, Mikey Powell, who was killed by the police in 2003.

‘He died in exactly the same way as George Floyd died,’ recalls the writer.

‘He had a police officer’s foot in his neck, he was down on the ground. I think he was on the floor of the police vehicle rather than the ground outside. His last words were, “I can’t breathe”, and he started crying for his mum.

‘I have been talking about these issues for a very long time, and when George Floyd was killed I actually stayed silent initially. I felt like this was the time for a new, young generation of activists. But when I thought about what happened to my cousin, I knew I had to say something.

‘There is this idea that what happened to George Floyd only happens in America, so I felt like I had to set the record straight on that one. It happens here too.’

Benjamin has had many run-ins with the police himself. In fact, he says he can’t even count the times he has been stopped or pulled over by the police, but he knows it must be in the hundreds.

With one of his first big pay checks, he bought himself a BMW, and was immediately stopped by police four times in one journey.

So, where are we now? If the racism in this country is now led by powerful men in suits as Benjamin suggests, where do we go from here? The writer believes education is the key to lasting change.

‘I want people reading this book to understand that this is a moment of history that is still alive now. It isn’t something that is just confined to the past.

‘People are still affected by the Windrush scandal up to this day, and children aren’t typically taught about this section of British history.

‘This is history, but it’s not only history – it’s the present as well.’

Do you have a story to share? We want to hear from you.

Get in touch: metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk.

MORE: The dark and dangerous reality of racism in sex work

MORE: Black bridesmaids are being told their natural Afro hair ‘isn’t suitable’ for weddings

MORE: Racial inequalities are continuing to play out against ethnic minorities as coronavirus hits a second wave

What to do if you want to trace your birth parents

0
0
woman typing on laptop
Where do you start? (Picture: Getty)

It’s only natural for an adoptive child to want to find out who their birth parents are as they get older.

Some might have questions while others might want to meet them for themselves – but just how do you go about tracing your birth parents?

Dr John Simmonds OBE, director of policy, research and development at adoption and fostering academy CoramBAAF tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Children and young people who have been adopted will often have many questions about their birth parents and other family members including their brothers and sisters. This can include wanting to meet them.

‘For adopted children who have reached 18, they have rights to access information about their adoption and they should contact to their adoption agency to get information and advice on this.’

Every adopted child has a right to know about their history.

Coram’s adoption support team tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Adoption Agencies must keep their information for a 100 years.

‘Those adopted before December 2005 can ask for an “intermediary service” from a Registered Adoption Agency.  

‘Those adopted after December 2005 should approach the Local Authority which arranged the adoption, for help and support.’

For those in Scotland and Ireland, there’s also Citizens Advice Scotland and NI Direct which both offer advice on how to trace your birth parents.

But, as it is a life-changing decision, there are some important things to consider.

Get as much information as possible

The Coram team says: ‘We recommend that any adopted person gets as much information as they can, so they can decide whether they want to contact their birth family.

‘Their Adoption Agency will help and support them to do this.’

Speak to your adoptive parents about it

Dr John Simmonds adds: ‘It’s very important that children and young people start by talking to their adoptive parents and to think with them about what might be both safe and helpful.

‘From the adoptive parent’s point of view, they may want to explore this for themselves and they should approach their adoption agency if they are unsure on the next steps.’

It’s very natural for someone who is adopted to want to find out about their birth parents, so don’t be afraid to bring up the topic with your adoptive parents. They also might have information which can help you with your search.

Consider all outcomes

While you might be keen to get in touch with your birth parents, there’s no way of knowing how they will feel about the situation.

It’s therefore important to consider this factor before trying to reach out and whether you’ll be upset or disappointed if the outcome doesn’t go as you hope it will.

Seek support

The Coram team adds: ‘It is very important that a young person has support, either from the adoptive family or a professional, as the process of making contact can be intensely emotional.’

Don’t be afraid to ask people for support during this incredibly personal process.

Adoptive parents can encourage contact from a young age

The Coram team says: ‘It is very important that children start to know and understand about their adoption from a very young age.

‘At Coram we do a lot of work helping adoptive parents talk to their children at different stages of their development and build on this as their children grow and can understand more. We facilitate regular workshops for adoptive parents to help them with this. These workshops are always well attended and appreciated.

‘An exchange of letters throughout childhood between the birth family and the adoptive parents can be very valuable – it can be hugely beneficial for a child to know that their birth parents still think of them and care about what they are doing.’

Coram’s Dos and Don'ts for those looking to contact their birth parents

DO talk to your adoptive parents to find out what information they have.

DO contact the LA (who holds your adoption records) to get more information.

DO be prepared for unexpected results – good and bad.

DO check that any internet sites offering to help adopted people to find relatives are registered as Adoption Support Agencies with OFSTED.

DO make sure to seek support if you make contact.

DO think about what you hope to get from contact.

DON’T We advise not to contact a stranger via social media if you don’t know who they are.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk.

MORE: Can you put yourself up for adoption?

MORE: What support is available for parents and children throughout the adoption process?

MORE: I gave my 16-year-old daughter up for adoption after taking her in as a baby

Adoption Month

Adoption Month is a month-long series covering all aspects of adoption.

For the next four weeks, which includes National Adoption Week from October 14-19, we will be speaking to people who have been affected by adoption in some way, from those who chose to welcome someone else's child into their family to others who were that child.

We'll also be talking to experts in the field and answering as many questions as possible associated with adoption, as well as offering invaluable advice along the way.

If you have a story to tell or want to share any of your own advice please do get in touch at adoptionstories@metro.co.uk.

Dad forced to deliver baby girl in the car park of a nature reserve

0
0
dad Andrew and the family all together
Andrew had to think fast (Picture: Sara Still / SWNS)

A dad was forced to pull over on his way to the hospital, to deliver his own baby in the car park of a nature reserve.

Andrew Still had to stop his car to help his wife Sara during a dramatic delivery.

The 32-year-old stopped at Lochwinnoch Nature Reserve in Renfrewshire to deliver his baby daughter, after she started to emerge.

The couple were on route to Royal Alexandra Hospital in Paisley but their little girl had other plans.

Baby Eliza arrived safely weighing 5lbs 14 oz and was wrapped up in picnic blankets until medics arrived on the scene.

Andrew Still and Sara with baby Eliza and son Ezra
Andrew and Sara with son Ezra and baby Eliza (Picture: Sara Still / SWNS)

Stay-at-home dad Andrew said: ‘It was a bit overwhelming. It’s something nobody expects to do.

‘It’s still not really sunk in that it actually happened. With Covid going on there’s a lot of people we haven’t seen and we are still telling people about it.’

The couple say their hypnobirthing lessons helped keep them calm during the unexpected delivery.

Andrew Still with baby Eliza
The proud dad (Picture: Sara Still / SWNS)

Civil servant Sara, who is also mum to three-year-old Ezra, said that while the experience was a shock it wasn’t traumatic.

She said: ‘My husband got our wee boy ready for nursery and we had breakfast but within half an hour I started getting contractions.

‘I phoned Andrew and said “we’ve got to go to the hospital.” By the time we set off I told Andrew we weren’t going to make it and he’ll need to stop.

‘The temptation was there to put the foot down but he pulled over and phoned the ambulance.

‘Andrew said he felt quite panicked but I thought he was good. In hindsight he’s so glad he did it. We only had picnic blankets and wrapped her [Eliza] up until the ambulance crew arrived.

‘It was quite peaceful. At that time in the morning nobody was around’

Andrew Still and Sara with baby Eliza and son Ezra
The birthplace (Picture: Sara Still/SWNS)

What’s more, Lochwinnoch Nature Reserve is even listed as baby Eliza’s official birthplace.

An RSPB Lochwinnoch spokesman said: ‘We would like to share our congratulations once again with the family.

‘It was great to meet all four when they returned to the reserve and we are delighted that mother and baby are doing well.’

MORE: Mum turns leftover bread crusts into delicious French toast chips her kids love

MORE: Daughters save mum’s life after she started choking on Hula Hoop

MORE: Mum creates ‘candy garden’ to allow kids to safely trick or treat from a distance

‘I spent 70 years not knowing why I was different’: What it’s like being told you’re autistic as an adult

0
0
talking therapy
Getting diagnosed as an adult can be a lengthy process (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

For 70 years, Gordon Cairns had struggled to understand why he didn’t fit in.

But after a prostate cancer diagnosis and difficulties with his mental health, he ended up seeing the same Mental Health Nurse three times in three years.

On his fourth visit, the nurse brought up something that led to Gordon making sense of many of the things he had faced throughout his life.

The nurse asked him to take an AQ10 autism test, which showed he was eligible for an assessment. Five months later, he was told he is autistic.

For some adults, they have spent years living with issues which exist because they are autistic but they have no idea that is the cause.

Gordon explains: ‘When I started school aged five in 1951, autism was not on the agenda. 

‘You were treated as being a naughty child and that went on all through my school days. I ended up with no qualifications.

‘I was bullied for not joining in at playtimes and on the way to and from school.

‘After leaving school, there was bullying at work. I was the one who got all the worst jobs. 

‘I didn’t have many friends and didn’t join in after work activities. I had so many jobs as I was always the first to go.

‘I got known as a soft touch after retirement and I got a lot of money taken from me by so called friends with sob stories and people saying they would pay me back. I think all of that is definitely due to my undiagnosed autism.’

Now, if a child shows signs they could be autistic, it can be spotted by health visitors or at school, but adults often need to be advocates for themselves and explain to doctors why they need to be referred.

Although in Gordon’s case, autism was suggested by a health professional, many others come up with the possibility themselves and then have to fight for an official diagnosis.

For Jennifer (not her real name) building up the courage to see a GP and ask to be referred to an autism specialist at 24 was difficult.

She explains: ‘I did lots of research, found examples from my own experiences and went in and explained it all. The GP really wasn’t willing to listen and told me it wouldn’t make that much difference.

‘I think because I had been living for so long without a diagnosis – I had a degree, and a job and friends – the doctor seemed to suggest I was overexaggerating.

‘I felt it was something I really needed so I saved money and paid £1500 for a private assessment. I spoke to a psychologist for several hours and they agreed that I did have autism.

‘I was then able to take that back to my GP.’

Arran Linton-Smith, was diagnosed as autistic when he was 54. Like Jennifer, he felt that getting a referral meant he really had to ‘push his case’ with his GP.

He explains: ‘It all happened around 2012 when Radio 4 iPM were running a life changing programme called ‘Take a leap for PM’.  

‘There were lots of pieces of the jigsaw which were coming together surrounding my autism and following my son’s suggestion, I had already undertaken the Cambridge University on-line AQ test which also suggested that I could well be autistic. I was more than ready at that stage to accept a full autism diagnosis.

‘All through my life I was aware that there was something significantly different about myself, but I was unable to put my finger on it.

‘I had a history of being referred to clinical psychologists on different occasions and I had also done lots of research myself into what was making my mind tick differently, but each time I did this, I was clearly reading the wrong workshop manual for my mind.

‘I went to the GP and it wasn’t just a case of going in there and saying I wanted an autism assessment, I really had to put together a good case to explain why.’

Getting a referral for an autism assessment is just the start of a lengthy process.

For both adults and children awaiting an autism assessment, the average wait time is far beyond the NHS target of three months.

In the quarter, starting on 1 April this year, the average wait time between referral and diagnosis for someone under 18 was 361 days.

For someone in the 18-24 age group, it was less at 203 days, but still far beyond the government target. The average wait time for someone 65 and over was 502 days.

Some choose to pay privately for an assessment, while others are able to explore other avenues.

Veronika Pudilova, known as Vera, has been aware of autism from a very young age but because of the way it had been portrayed, she didn’t think it would apply to her.

A drawing of Vera saying 'I am not weird, I am not alone, I am so happy to be me' and text around it saying 'one of the best things about knowing I'm autistic is understanding that I don't have to fit in and can do things my own way.
Vera posts about being autistic on Instagram (Picture: @happy_nd_lady)

She explains: ‘Because of the language surrounding it, and the way that it was portrayed in the media, I felt like it was only for young boys and it was a disease. That’s how it was framed. I didn’t really want to investigate that any further. 

‘Then as an adult, I realised that there’s still some issues I’m struggling with that don’t fit in the mental health umbrella. I felt there was something underlying. I met an autistic adult who had a job and children and a dog and I realised that the portrayal was wrong and I did fit some aspects of being autistic.’

Vera went to her doctor but as she was a studen, she was told to speak to her university at the same time, which meant she was able to get a diagnosis much quicker.

She explains: ‘The university paid £400 and I paid £100 and it only took six months. I was diagnosed in July last year.’

Once autistic adults do finally get diagnosed, there is very limited support available.

Dr James Cusack, Chief Executive at Autistica, the UK’s autism research charity explains: ‘There are many more autistic adults in the UK than children but adults are often overlooked when it comes to research and services. 

‘Autistic adults are more likely than others to face a number of mental and physical health problems, as well challenges with daily life and employment, so can really benefit from tailored support. 

‘That’s why we’re working with the University of Newcastle, University College, and the NHS to improve diagnosis and support for adults. Research like this is essential to ensure that every autistic adult can look forward to a long, happy, healthy life.’

For Jennifer, after she presented her diagnosis to her GP, it was noted on her medical file but that was it.

Charities helping autistic adults

Ambitious About Autism

It works to support children and young people with autism by running specialist education services, an employment programme, doing policy work and campaigning. It also delivers training and consultancy to a wide range of organisations to improve awareness and understanding of autism.

Autistica

The UK’s national autism research charity, which focuses on giving autistic people the opportunity to live long, happy, healthy lives. It funds research, shapes policy and works with autistic people to understand their needs.

National Autistic Society

The NAS supports autistic people across the UK, running specialist schools, campaigning for improved rights and training companies on being more autism-friendly. They run a helpline on 0808 800 4104, which provides impartial, confidential information along with advice for autistic people, their families, friends and carers.

She said: ‘I thought after the diagnosis, that it would open up a whole lot of support to me but there was nothing offered through my GP.

‘It was only through my own research that I found charities and support groups who could help me as an autistic adult.

‘I feel like because I had been living ‘fine’ for so long, my doctor just assumed I didn’t need any help but the whole reason I had fought for a diagnosis was because I really did.’

Arran adds: ‘In terms of support, there was none, other than the support that I sought from the NAS Helpline and eventually I did get some informal spiritual counselling from a vicar friend that I knew, which greatly helped both me and my wife.’

Even though Vera was diagnosed through her university, she found even the support from them was difficult to get.

She didn’t get support from her university disability services, found that the person who specialised in autism support was on leave and eventually found help through study mentoring for learning difficulties.

She adds: ‘I had to really fight for that but it was so helpful. 

‘My whole diagnosis opened up a whole world to me. At the start, it was really lonely, because I didn’t know that there was any support out there and I didn’t know what it meant to me. 

‘I was happy that I finally knew what was going on. I was so lucky that I had that one person who I knew who was an autistic adult tell me that it’s something to be proud of, because we’re not different. It’s not a disease. It’s just a different way of being. 

‘The way I got support was through being very open about my diagnosis and presenting it in a positive light. So through that, I found that five of my peers in my youth group are also autistic.’ 

She has created an Instagram account @happy_nd_lady, where she posts drawings explaining her experience of being an autistic adult, which has also helped her connect with others.

A drawing of Vera saying 'I'm autistic' and some other people saying 'me too'
Vera found that being open about her diagnosis helped her discover other autistic adults (Picture: (Picture: @happy_nd_lady)

For Vera, Jennifer, Arran and Gordon, being diagnosed earlier in life could have greatly helped them deal with some of the things they were struggling with.

Arran said: ‘I don’t think there is enough being done to help autistic adults  but I suspect that there is a bit of a postcode lottery with regards to this. 

‘From my experience, there are key pieces of information which would help us re-build our lives. 

‘It is a massive shock to receive a diagnosis as it completely changes your own personal identity.’

Vera adds: ‘Being diagnosed earlier would have really helped me understand myself better. Mental health wouldn’t have been such an issue, particularly in my teen years.

‘So many of the methods that were recommend just didn’t work for me. Cognitive behavioural therapy did not work and when I did mindfulness, it made my sensory sensitivity worse and I would be more anxious.

‘I do think that I was able to come into it with a very positive light.

‘I was able to get a diagnosis from a professional who wrote everything about my diagnosis in a very positive light, whereas the children and other young people often have a very negative diagnosis, talking about things they will never be able to do.

‘If they had done it for me, at a young age, I would have had the same language and that might have been detrimental whereas now I just say “Here’s some things I struggle with. Here’s some things I’m really good at. What does everyone else think? And through that lots of other people have found out things about themselves, too.”’

Jennifer adds: ‘Being diagnosed was a huge turning point in my life and I do wish I’d had the support earlier in life. I went through university, I’ve held down jobs and I’ve done well despite having points where it felt impossible and not know why. I do often wonder what it would be like if I’d been diagnosed earlier but I will never know that, and I’m just glad that now I know.’

An NHS spokesperson said: ‘Published data on waiting times is helping to guide how local NHS services work with councils to improve access to support for people with autism and the NHS has already introduced new health checks to ensure people with autism are getting the additional care they might need.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch at metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk.

MORE: As an Autistic person, Spitting Image’s Greta Thunberg feels tired and stereotypical

MORE: Landlords refused to rent to me and my autistic son because we claim benefits

MORE: I was bullied for being autistic but photographing animals got me through the toughest times


My twin brother and I spiralled into alcoholism after our mum died

0
0

‘Hi, I’m Lee, and I’m an alcoholic and addict’… These are often the first words I speak most mornings as I click onto an online sobriety meeting. 

I’m proud to say I’m 28 and in recovery. 

Usually when you announce your alcoholism, people are naturally curious. They often ask ‘what caused your problem?’ or ‘how did you get to where you did?’, but the truth is, there’s no simple answer. 

I had a good upbringing, enjoyed my childhood, but I remember having an unsolicited fascination with alcohol. I saw how it made people feel and, even at that age, I wanted that feeling. 

I was just 13 when I had my first drink. This wasn’t your usual ‘glass of wine with dinner’ at your parents’. I drank vodka from the bottle. I wasn’t interested in the taste, I wanted the feeling and as my brain was flooded with endorphins, I believe I fell in love. It wasn’t a regular thing then, but I was drawn towards events or activities where alcohol was present. 

This led me to start mixing with the wrong crowds, trying new things like marijuana for the first time.

Throughout school, not only did the amount I drank and smoked increase, but my curiosity was activated for other substances, such as Mephedrone – legal at the time, but quite rightly made illegal soon after. 

In my later school years, it was noted by friends and family that while ‘teenagers will be teenagers’, I was taking it too far – often partying every weekend with no sleep. They had no choice but to intervene. 

Lee Harris
I had my first drink when I was 13, and things started to spiral after my mum died five years later (Picture: Aaron Witchard/Barcroft Media via Getty Images)

I agreed to curb my substance habit to please my family. But unfortunately, this was short lived. 

I discovered cocaine and ecstasy in my late teens and again, to no surprise, a similar pattern emerged, and before I knew it, it became a daily habit, along with drinking 30 – 40 units of alcohol a day. 

One would argue at this point I was dependent on alcohol, but I didn’t see it that way. As addicts, we are in denial anyway, but for me this period was about using substances as a coping mechanism. So you could say I was blind to the issues that I faced. 

On 25 December 2011, when I was 18, my mum passed away. My twin brother Adam and I faced an immense amount of pain.

I knew I was using to escape, but I didn’t recognise that an addiction was taking hold and I couldn’t stop. I thought I was the life of the party, but the truth was, I knew I also couldn’t handle the pain on my own.

At this point, it started to affect my work life. I’d be itching to finish early, to get home and drown my sorrows. I wasn’t reliable and would do anything to get out of the job at hand.

It felt at the time that Adam and I almost supported each other through drinking. Both of us were blind to the issues that we faced. It seemed normal.

I’m not sure how, but 10 years went by, and as I progressed through my 20s, the damage became apparent.

The brothers and their mum
The brothers and their mum (Picture: Lee Harris)

My mindset had changed. It wasn’t, ‘I want to finish early for a pint’ anymore, it was, ‘I could do with a drink right now, first thing’.

My heart knew I was doing something wrong, but my head, the demon, wanted me to carry on. But I could feel my mental health slipping.

I had consistent heart palpitations from drug abuse and shakes every time I tried to stop drinking. I listened to my heart and went to the doctors in January 2019, and little did I know at the time, but this marked the start of my intervention. Looking back, I’m so thankful I had this awakening, as I know so many who haven’t.

Unsurprisingly, the doctor advised me to cut down my alcohol consumption. But with no real plan, and me not knowing the dangers, it was left to me and my dad.

In our naivety, we set house rules to systematically cut down the units I was consuming. The most memorable being the beep of a kitchen timer. Every 30 minutes, I could have one can of lager; I could give myself relief.

Even though I was still drinking, I continued to suffer withdrawal symptoms as this wasn’t anywhere near what I was consuming previously, and most upsettingly, I couldn’t binge when I wanted to escape.

This went on for two months, but the self-devised detox didn’t have the impact we were hoping for. I was still relying on alcohol to function. I was still a raging alcoholic.

Lee and Adam Harris
My brother, Adam, and I are both recovering alcoholics (Picture: Aaron Witchard/Barcroft Media via Getty Images)

As I tried to continue cutting down, my body, without its ‘fuel’ was simply shutting down. I experienced shakes, sweats, an anxiety riddled brain, depression, sleepless nights, anger and panic attacks. I couldn’t function with or without.

Many ambulances were called during this time and I knew it was only a matter of time before I went to hospital in one. That day came February 2019. My body had had enough.

I sat there in the back of an ambulance, feeling lost, scared and hopeless as I drank neat whisky, giving my body what it needed, when I thought, ‘How the f**k did I end up here?’

When admitted, I was put on a 14-day detox programme. It was obvious at this point I needed medical and mental intervention, as it was too unsafe for me to do alone; this was a life or death choice.

Over the first few days in hospital, my body slowly processed the remaining alcohol from my system.

When I thought the worst was over, I realised I had lost the ability to walk. I was 27 and I couldn’t walk to the bathroom. I spent three to four days in bed, found the strength to get in a wheelchair, then over a few days graduated onto a zimmer frame, eventually leaving hospital on crutches.

Alcohol had stripped me of my pride, self worth and motivation. I was a shell of the human I once was. I was discharged in March 2019 and it took me weeks to regain my physical strength. 

Lee and Adam
Our recovery today is something that 19 months ago I wouldn’t have even been able to dream of (Picture: Lee Harris)

Even though I had all the support from my fiancé, friends and family, along with the treatment centres, councillors, fellowships I had engaged with, I almost felt alone. 

I had put everyone through so much, especially my fiancé, my rock, who has been with me through thick and thin, but at the time, I didn’t know what I could do in order to even begin to put things right. 

However, 19 months on, here I am, living a happy and free life. My addiction does not control me, the obsession to drink or use is diminishing day-by-day. I am proud of how far I have come, but the biggest gift for me has been helping my twin brother overcome his demons. 

Adam entered rehab in February 2020 after realising his addiction had made his life unmanageable. He sought help, is now seven months sober, and together we support alcoholics and addicts. We run an Instagram account where we post positive, real, inspirational content.

Our recovery today is something that 19 months ago I wouldn’t have even been able to dream of. I never had any motivation, ambition, drive. I never felt like I was worth something.

Today, we are crafting our future. We are in control. Change is possible, amends are there to be made. 

I have given my fiancé the life she deserves. Adam and I have given my family the gift they really wanted. 

And I know that my mum is proud of what we have achieved, and that she would certainly have a smile on her face if she could see my brother and I today.

You can follow Lee and Adam on Instagram here

My Life Through A Lens

My Life Through a Lens is an exciting series on Metro.co.uk that looks at one incredible photo, and shares the story that lies behind it. If you have an experience you would like to share, please email kathryn.snowdon@metro.co.uk with MLTAL as the subject.

MORE: A stranger’s photo of my wedding on Brooklyn Bridge went viral

MORE: I swam the length of the English Channel in a paddling pool

MORE: Surviving a 7.0 earthquake put my life into perspective

Woman can’t figure out what fridge tray is for – do you have one and know what it’s for?

0
0
Fridge tray
Do you know what this is for? (Picture: Home Decorating Mums/Facebook)

An Australian woman started a discussion about what a tray in her fridge is for after not being able to figure it out for some time.

The woman sparked a debate asking folks on the internet what the unusually-shaped tray could be for.

She said the tray found in her Samsung fridge was too small for drink cans but was a weird shape to be able to fit eggs.

The woman wrote on a Facebook page: ‘Can someone please tell me what on earth this is for? Bought a new Samsung fridge, not in the manual or website. We’ve been trying to figure it out for weeks.

‘It doesn’t fit eggs or cans properly.’

The post received nearly 700 guesses on what the tray could be for.

So, do you have one of these in your fridge, and do you know what the purpose of it is?

Coke can on top of fridge tray but it doesn't fit.
Too small for drink cans (Picture: Home Decorating Mums/Facebook)

Some Facebook users who had the same fridge or a similar one explained what they use their trays for.

One person commented: ‘I saw someone use it to put carrots etc in so that any condensation drips off and they last longer but I have no idea if that actually works or what it’s actually for’.

Another joked: ‘It’s a mum’s tray… for anything. Cheese, chocolate, wine… just put a padlock on it first.’

Others also didn’t know, saying: ‘I have no idea what it’s for so I just took it out and put it in a storage cupboard’.

Eggs in fridge tray
Too wobbly for eggs (Picture: Home Decorating Mums/Facebook)

But people who don’t know seem to be using it to store whatever they want.

One person wrote: ‘I actually took mine out and I use it to store my bars of soap in the bathroom cupboard’.

Another wrote: ‘Mine is in my cupboard with spices in it. The eggs in it just wobbled around, it didn’t make sense and took up so much space in the fridge’.

According to images on the Samsung website, the tray in the fridge is used to store eggs.

Samsung fridge
According to the Samsung website, the tray is for eggs (Picture: Samsung)

But the eggs pictured on the site are white, which is often the case for eggs in America where eggs may be larger.

In fact, the most common U.S. size of chicken egg is ‘large’ and is the egg size commonly referred to for recipes.

The fridge tray isn’t the only appliance making people scratch their heads.

Recently people discovered the purpose of a secret compartment on their washing machines.

Do you have any inexplicable items in your home that you don’t understand?

Email metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk to tell us more.

MORE: Do vegetables go in the crisper drawer in the fridge? Mum shocked to discover she’s been storing her veg wrong

MORE: Xbox Series X fridge is now real and Snoop Dogg has one

McDonald’s is giving away merchandise including M-brand wellies, bucket hats and hoodies

0
0
McDonald's bucket hat, hoody and boots
A whole look (Picture: McDonald’s)

You like my hat? Gee, thanks it’s McDonald’s.

That’s what you could be saying if you win the fast food giant’s latest merchandise, which includes a bucket hat and hoodie all emblazoned with the famous M logo.

The items are part of a competition by the restaurant to celebrate their new virtual festival, Loving’ It Live.

The official merch includes Lovin’ it Live’ hoodies, hats, onesies, and golden wellies.

Those keen on getting their hands on the Maccies goods will need to fill in a form on the McDonald’s website.

You’ll need to have a Facebook page to be in with a chance of winning though.

The competition is run on Facebook and open to everyone age 16 and over, living in England, Scotland, or Wales.

With the fast-food chain giving away thousands of the quirky fashion items, your chances of wearing one of those M hoodies are pretty high.

McDonald's new bucket hat
Want (Picture: McDonald’s)

It seems fans are excited about the range. Many took to social media to express their excitement.

One person wrote: ‘Omg I need these in my life. I spend most of my life in McDonald’s so I would love to rep it in the stores’.

Another said: ‘I’ve entered, I bloody hope I win. This will literally make 2020 so much brighter!’

Even a McD’s employee entered the competition, saying: ‘Entered. 23 years served for McDonald’s. Be a nice prize.’

McDonald's new hat with name of artists inscribed
Some of the artists featuring on Lovin’ It Live (Picture: McDonald’s)

The giveaway is part of the Lovin’ It Live shows, happening between 31 November to 1 November, featuring artists such as Stormzy, Jess Glynne, Kaiser Chiefs, Lewis Capaldi, Craig David, and more.

Michelle Graham-Clare, VP Food and Beverage at McDonald’s, said; ‘We know the new normal is tough on everyone.

‘I’m Lovin’ it Live is our way of saying thank you to our people and to our customers for all their support this year.

‘Hopefully, our week of good things and good times offers something for everyone from families looking for fun to music fans missing the gig scene.’

The first round of the competition is now over but prize draw two opens at 00:00 on 26 October 2020 and closes at 23:59 GMT on 1 November 2020.

All of the events and gigs are free to view, with the family sessions available on the McDonald’s website and live music events shared exclusively via the My McDonald’s App.

Do you have a story you want to share?

Email metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk to tell us more.

MORE: Woman can’t figure out what fridge tray is for – do you have one and know what it’s for?

MORE: Young ‘influencers’ rack up billions of views peddling junk food to kids, study finds

Home Bargains is selling its popular electric clothes dryer again

0
0
home bargains electric clothes dryer
No more damp clothes this winter (Picture: Home Bargains/Metro.co.uk)

With autumn in full swing, there’s absolutely no way that washing can be hung out to dry on a line.

But Home Bargains has come up with a genius product for the winter months that’s proven popular with customers in the past – a freestanding electric clothes dryer.

Back by popular demand, the clothes dryer has been spotted in Home Bargains stores and online.

The description on the website reads: ‘This Freestanding Electric Clothes Dryer gets your clothes dry come rain or shine. 

‘Whether you want to warm up your towels on a cold day, dry some jumpers or delicate items or air some damp clothes, this dryer is ideal with its 10kg drying capacity.’

To use it, simply unzip the covering and hang your wet washing up inside, then do the zip back up and the heat will dry your clothes rather nicely.

In other words, it’s a great alternative to a tumble dryer.

The contraption – which comes in at £34.99 – is also lightweight so easily packs away when you’re finished with your laundry.

Sadly, the popular product is currently out of stock online, but we have a feeling it’ll be back soon.

One individual posted a snap of the dryer in the Home Bargains Appreciation Society Facebook group, asking whether it was worth the money. To which a number of people replied that it most certainly was.

Someone said: ‘I use mine all the time – especially for drying my kids uniform.’

While another added: ‘I’ve got a similar one, and it dries clothes quickly, I choose to use this over my tumble dryer.’

Of course, there are a few others on the market for those desperate to get one as the cold sets in.

Robert Dyas is selling a very similar product for £59.99 which may be more expensive but is currently in stock – unlike the Home Bargains ones.

Likewise, Amazon is selling an alternative clothes dryer with a 15kg capacity – which fits around 25 Items. It’s on sale for £74.99.

This article contains affiliate links. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through one of these links but this never influences our experts’ opinions or coverage. Products are tested and reviewed independently of commercial initiatives.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk.

MORE: Sainsbury’s is selling pigs in blankets flavoured mayo for Christmas

MORE: Asda is selling glow-in-the-dark roses so you can have a spooky but fragrant Halloween

MORE: Pub landlord starts selling meals for 1p to stay open in tier 3 lockdown

As a child, I dreaded getting braids – now they’re a key part of my identity

0
0
Jackie Adedeji with braids
I love my hair, but I didn’t used to (Picture: Stephen Budd)

If I had £1 for every time someone stopped me on the street to comment on what’s on top of my head, I’d be raking in more than Blac Chyna does on OnlyFans – and that’s more than £15million a month.

I love my hair, but I didn’t used to. In fact, I’ve gone through somewhat of a traumatic process over the years in trying to embrace it.

When I was seven years old, I’d have my hair texturised every month, which meant applying a chemical relaxer from the root to the tip of my locks to straighten their natural kinks. 

Though I found the process incredibly painful, it made me feel like I had ‘white hair’ for a moment. And as a child, that meant that I could finally have similar hair to my Barbies and like all of my favourite characters on TV.

It made me believe I finally fit in – like this is the ‘right’ hairstyle and I could only be beautiful if my hair was straight.

But then a week later, my afro would pop up and say hello, and I’d want to be back in that hairdresser’s chair going through that awful, burning scalp sensation once more in the quest of straight hair.

You know what they say, no pain no gain.

In the period between my afro appearing and my next relaxation session, my hair would be put in braids.

It felt like the absolute worst thing in the world because they were cornrowed back with my real hair, which was so short and they wouldn’t touch the back of my neck. I felt like a boy.

Jackie Adedeji as kid
I was shying away from braids because it reminded me of that feeling I had as a child of ‘otherness’ (Picture: Jackie Adedeji)

I wanted to feel a long mane down the back of my neck and beyond. I craved hair that I could swish around like all the white women I’d see on the telly shampooing their luscious, long waves.

Everywhere I turned – from adverts in magazines and TV – all the women had long bouncy curls and it felt like there was a huge push to conform to the Eurocentric idea of beauty. It was everywhere and it was the default. So what was I?

The only time I would see full representation was the Black women fronting the magazines in my salon and the women sitting next to me getting their hair done. If any of them had braids, they looked more like Beyoncé’s in the Say My Name video – not like mine.

I wanted them (long, blonde, with curly ends) but my mum said no.

So, instead, I turned to wigs and weaves during my teenage years. They made me feel like I could fit in.

I finally had long, wavy curls that I could swish, put behind my ears, curl or straighten – just like my friends.

I had fun with weaves and wigs, but I realise now that I was shying away from braids because it reminded me of that feeling I had as a child of ‘otherness’.

Jackie Adedeji wearing a weave
As soon as I felt represented, my relationship with my natural hair began to change (Picture: Jackie Adedeji)

This realisation came about after I started seeing more representation for people like me and Black influencers speaking up about embracing their natural hair.

My rejection of my Black hair came from the anti-Blackness narrative in the beauty and entertainment industries that is pushed onto us – that we have to conform to be seen as beautiful.

I quickly figured out that it was my responsibility to unlearn this toxic idea. My Black hair is my crown and it’s beautiful whichever way I wear it.

Perhaps if there was more representation for Black hair, I would’ve come to this realisation sooner.

As soon as I started to see it, my relationship with my natural hair began to change. I was also desperate to understand the historical significance and learn about my culture.

Evidence of braids among African cultures can be traced all the way back to 3500BC, with specific styles and patterns indicating a person’s tribe, age, marital status, wealth, and religion. 

For generations, elders would braid the hair of children, while young people would watch and pick up the intricate skill of weaving strands together. It’s a proud and rich history.

Braiding continues to be social art, mainly because of the time it takes to achieve the desired look. It can take around six to eight hours, but while you’re in the chair you build a bond with not only your hairdresser, but with the other women in the salon. 

Apart from being impressive aesthetically, braids have also been a method of survival for enslaved people throughout history. For example, hair braiding in Colombia was used as a tool of resistance.

To signal that they wanted to escape, women would braid a hairstyle called ‘departes’, described by Afro-Colombian braider Ziomara Asprilla Garcia as ‘thick, tight braids, braided closely to the scalp and was tied into buns on the top’.

Other styles functioned as maps of the roads they’d use to get free, while some patterns even covertly stored grains and gold to help their wearer survive.

Jackie Adedeji at the beach
It took seven years, but now I see the true beauty that goes into braids (Picture: Jackie Adedeji)

Even now, braided styles still don’t get the respect they deserve and are often deemed ‘unprofessional’ or ‘inappropriate’ for workplaces and schools.

You only need to Google ‘unprofessional hairstyles’ and images of Black women with their natural hair are the first few images to come up. In 2017 a Black woman was denied a job on the basis she wouldn’t chemically straighten her hair.

Meanwhile, young Black children are being sent home from school for having dreadlocks.

But things are slowly changing. Last year, The CROWN Act (Creating a Respectful and Open Workplace for Natural hair) was introduced in California – making it the first US state to pass a law that makes hair discrimination illegal.

It took seven years, but now I see the true beauty that goes into braids.

With the events of this year particularly, I feel even more connected to my Blackness and I want nothing more than to have braids. My braids represent the journey I went on to finally start loving myself wholeheartedly.

My braids are the embodiment of versatility.

One moment, I could be channelling big Chaka Khan Ain’t Nobody 80s vibes and the next giving you a 90s Toni Braxton pixie crop. Then bam – Moesha-esque chunky braids just before the new week begins.

Our braids are artistic, they’re unapologetic and like my mere existence as a Black woman, they’re political.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk.

Share your views in the comments below.

MORE: The UK must follow New York’s lead in fighting racism by banning hairstyle discrimination

MORE: Meet the black women who are transitioning to natural hair in lockdown

MORE: Until school hair policies take race into account, they remain tools of white oppression

Black History Month

October marks Black History Month, which reflects on the achievements, cultures and contributions of black people in the UK and across the globe, as well as educating others about the diverse history of those from African and Caribbean descent.

For more information about the events and celebrations that are taking place this year, visit the official Black History Month website.

Viewing all 70261 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images