Children. They’re small. They’re loud. And they’re so incredibly expensive – on average, nearly a quarter of a million pounds to raise – that you’d be better off if you just took all your money and threw it into a skip. You’d be just as skint, but there’d be a lot less crying. Here’s why.
1. They destroy everything you own
PS4 controllers, your DVD collection, your hopes and dreams… if they can reach it, they’ll break it.
2. They don’t appreciate day trips
Two hours of screaming, half a tank of petrol and fifty quid in tickets and you’re finally at Mr Cheese’s World of Brie.
Ten seconds later they’re bawling because somebody’s moustache frightened them, so it’s two more hours… Read the full story