To whoever decided hugging was an appropriate form of greeting an acquaintance: I hate you.
Life as someone who’s not a fan of physical contact is tough. Because physical contact is all around us.
It’s lurking at parties, when you meet someone who thinks a handshake is too formal. It’s essential to important stuff like bra fittings and waxing.
Having to touch people is a plague on society, that causes endless struggles for all of us poor sods who just aren’t good with placing body parts against other people.
1. Greetings are a battlefield
How about we settle for a friendly wave? Or a handshake, if you’re feeling friendly?
Oh, nope. You’re going in for a hug. I hate you.