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Get in the mood for teledildonics: The app that logs your orgasms and turns your phone into a vibrator

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Did you have an orgasm today? Well, did you? I’m not being brash, this is the question your smartphone could be asking as part of your routine health monitoring.

Given that our phones can tell us how many steps we take, record our calorie and alcohol intake, sleep quality, heart rate and even fertility, it was only a matter of time before the digital age turned its prying eyes to our sex life.

Oh yes. Algorithmic analysis of your orgasms is here and, if you use the resulting data correctly, you could have more of them, and quicker.

At least that’s the idea behind app Ohmibod, which lets you log and track your orgasms. Ever wondered what time of day you are more likely to climax quicker (no, me neither)? The app, which launched in 2013 but has recently been updated with the orgasm tracker, will figure it out.

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