I’m excited to see one person at my friend’s wedding and it’s not her

Wedding planner and venue owner Alison Rios McCrone helps solve your dilemmas, no matter how big or small, in a weekly agony aunt column.

Dear Alison,

I’ve been invited to the wedding of a friend from my old job, and I’m really excited – but not for the reason you’d expect. 

We were super close when we worked together and during lunch, she’d often share stories from her personal life, as friends do. A couple of months after we became close, she disclosed that one of her best friends is a famous singer. I love this singer and freaked out a bit when she told me – although in an attempt to be ‘cool’ I’ve played my adoration down over the years. 

In the years we’ve been friends, the famous friend hasn’t been able to come to parties due to scheduling conflicts, but I’m assuming they’ll be at the wedding, as when my friend got engaged she mentioned that they would be a bridesmaid. 

I’m psyched about the opportunity to be in the same room as my idol, but I have a feeling that my friend would prefer all guests to just act like her friend is a normal person. I just don’t know if I’m capable of resisting a selfie request though, especially after a couple of glasses. 

Would it be totally inappropriate for me to fangirl? 

Thanks, 

Lucy 

Dear Lucy,

I understand why you are so excited about your friend’s wedding. Being in the same room with a singer you deeply admire is thrilling, and it’s natural to feel that way. 

However, it’s essential to respect the couple’s special day above all else. Weddings are a private, intimate occasion where the spotlight should firmly remain on the bride and groom. 

Think about your friend’s perspective: if you were to fangirl or request a selfie with her famous friend, it might feel to her like her big day is being overshadowed. She may feel uncomfortable or even disappointed, something you’d want to avoid inducing on one of the happiest days of her life.

You also need to consider their famous friend. Living in the limelight, your friend’s bridesmaid would, I am sure, value her privacy. 

This wedding may be a rare opportunity for them to escape their public persona. Imagine how they might cherish this time celebrating their friend without the constant interruptions for autographs and selfies. 

Respecting their privacy is a sign of your consideration for the bride. Show her that she is what matters to you by giving her wedding your full attention – don’t forget, you were invited to the wedding because of your relationship with each other, not her connection to someone famous. 

If you do cross paths with the celebrity guest, treat them like you would anyone else. Engage in normal conversation if the opportunity arises. You could ask them about their connection to the bride, or maybe share a genuine compliment about their work, but it is important to respect their boundaries. 

Even if the champagne makes you feel bold, resist the urge to ask for a selfie. It might seem harmless, but it risks putting the bride in an awkward position, especially if her famous friend prefers to stay low-key.

It is OK to be excited about being in the same room as someone you admire, but let that remain private and enjoy the memories you create rather than chasing a selfie. Remember, the best stories come not from fangirling but from forming authentic, respectful connections and whether with the celebrity or other guests, these are what you’ll cherish.

Act gracious and grounded because ultimately, your behaviour at the wedding will only reflect on you. You wouldn’t want to do anything that might make your friend regret inviting you.

Have a wonderful time at the wedding.

Best wishes,

Alison

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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