The school holidays can really bring home to parents on modest means how much it costs to raise children.

Taking a week away would be nice, but is it affordable at holiday season prices, which seem to rise further every year?

Kids hanging about at home somehow seem to consume a constant stream of snacks and treats, and now that school’s back soon, there’s the dreaded visit to the school-approved uniform supplier, which sometimes seems like an approved form of daylight robbery.

No wonder then that, when you add it all up, the cost of a child over 18 years comes to an eye-watering total of £150,000, according to our research at Loughborough University on what you need for a minimum acceptable living standard.

These findings are based on research involving detailed deliberations, in which members of the public were tasked with identifying what’s required for a minimum acceptable standard of living.

They said: ‘A minimum standard of living in the United Kingdom today includes, but is more than just food, clothes and shelter. It is about having what you need in order to have the opportunities and choices necessary to participate in society’.

This is a definition that goes beyond survival, but still maintains the notion of a minimum that is required.

So for example, the groups in our research agree that you need a mobile phone these days in order to communicate and not be excluded, and that in order to have a living standard in line with how people live today, you need some sort of summer holiday.

However, this doesn’t mean you need an iPhone (a standard android will do) or to go away to Turkey for two weeks (a week’s self-catering at the British seaside is identified as a minimum).

Nearly half of the £150,000 total quoted is actually the cost of full-time childcare when children are young. Many parents don’t work full-time, so won’t incur all that cost, but if costly childcare restricts how much you can work, this affects not only your costs but also your income.

It’s never been cheap to bring up a child, and for families on lower incomes, there’s always been a struggle to ensure that children do not feel disadvantaged. So why are we making such a noise about family living standards these days?

A number of things have changed in recent years.

First, rising costs. The official inflation rate is not high – currently 2.5% a year. But this hides much steeper increases in some of the basic things that people on low incomes simply can’t do without.

Over the past decade, bus fares have risen over 60%, domestic fuels like gas and electricity by over 40% and food by nearly 30%.

Wages haven’t risen nearly fast enough to keep up with these increases, making many people worse off in terms of their ability to afford a minimum standard of living.

A second sign of our times is in unstable work. True, unemployment has fallen, but the jobs people get are increasingly part time and irregular.

This contrasts with a key finding from our research, which is that, what families on low incomes need most is stability – a predictable flow of income so they can plan to cover these essential costs.

This makes a third factor, falling public support for families, particularly problematic.

Tax credits were introduced to help working families who saw a drop in their income keep their heads above water. They’ve been cut just at a time when they’re needed most, as has the Universal Credit scheme that is replacing most benefits and tax credits.

The Government has a mission to reduce ‘welfare dependency’, but what if it went back to the original welfare state idea of social security ‘insuring’ people against hard times?

Families would benefit greatly from a system committed to creating stable incomes for those with unstable weekly pay.

And finally, families are leading more demanding lives.

Being a parent today can mean juggling the requirements of a demanding job with those of a demanding child. Parents are under pressure to be there for their children, organising structured activities that keep them out of trouble, at the same time as earning enough to pay for such opportunities and for educational ‘extras’.

It’s only August, and exams are not until next spring, but once you’ve bought the school uniform, how long before you start forking out for the revision guides that teachers say are so essential to ensuring your child’s success?

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A Scottish chippy, East West Spice Greenock, has made quite a name for itself with its monster ‘crunchy box’ offering a bunch of fried goods under a tenner.

The deal which also comes with a bottle of Irn Bru includes deep fried fish, sausages, burgers, potatoes, onion rings and pizza on a bed of chips for £9.99.

As yummy as you might think it is, the cheap deal contains a whopping 5,000 calories, twice as much as any of us should be consuming in a day , let alone in one meal.

The two-litre bottle of fizzy pop isn’t the best drink to wash it all down either, with 400 calories and 94g of sugar.

An image of the meal caught after sports journalist Ross McCafferty tweeted: ‘If you don’t think it looks like the most appetising thing ever then there’s no hope for you.’

While many people laughed at the post and made queries about the contents of the box mainly what fritters are, others had health concerns.

Some said it was ‘vile’ and ‘a heart attack in a box’ while food writer Joanna Blythman criticised the fatty foods being promoted.

‘One of Scotland’s defects: celebrating crap food. No wonder so many Scots are fat and sick,’ she wrote.

In response to the criticism and comments on the 9.8k-liked post, Ross added: ‘The number of tweets about how awful and unhealthy it is have surprised me. I wasn’t recommending it as one of your five a day!’

The manager of the shop said that so far he’s had a positive reaction to the high-calorie meal.

‘I just thought it would be nice to combine the ideas and bring something which would appeal to everyone,’ said Bahadur Sing.

‘We put the deal on and people seem to love it. Everything is cooked in fat but the dish is big enough for three or four people to share.

‘It’s definitely for the family to eat. People think it’s a great deal.’

We’ve asked the shop to comment on the backlash of the crunch box and will update the article with their reply.

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We’ve all done it.

You want your hair out of your face so you twist it, knot it, and stick whatever implement you can find within an arm’s reach – a chopstick, a comb, a pen – to keep it up.

It seems entirely harmless, right?

But one bride’s experience will put you off ever sticking a pen in your hair again. Maybe we should all just keep a pot of hair ties handy.

Daphne Martin happened to pop a pen in her hair to keep her messy ponytail in place. The pen leaked all over her platinum blonde hair, dyeing a section dark inky blue.

Oh, and it was a week before her wedding.

Thankfully Daphne was able to fix the situation herself, as she’d previously trained as a hairstylist. She set her fiancé to work as her assistant, then washed as much of the pen as she could out of her hair before applying bleach.

She told Allure: ‘Let’s just say there was a series of ponytails and kitchen sink hair-washing. Surprisingly enough, five minutes of bleach got that out of my extremely light hair.’

Daphne’s story was shared by colourist Kelly O’Leary-Woodford, who described the situation as the ‘craziest thing I’ve ever seen.’

Kelly warns that Daphne was incredibly lucky to be able to fix her hair at home – if her hair was darker, remedying the situation could have been a nightmare, as a colourist would need to bleach out the ink before perfectly dyeing the hair to match the rest.

If you stuck a pen in your hair and ended up covered in ink, the best call would be heading to a salon, stat, and explaining what happened to an experienced colourist. That could be end up being a pricey, stressful fix.

The lesson here: Never stick a pen in your hair. The cost of a load of hair ties is so much lower than having to get your hair bleached and recoloured.

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Attention, anyone who has no issue being a horrible person responsible for painful awkwardness and family arguments: Cards Against Humanity is hiring new writers.

Yep, you could be the person writing the cards people use to make truly evil jokes. What an honour.

Oh, and you’ll get $40 (£31) an hour. Sweet deal.

The job is remote, so you can do it wherever you live, and will be called on to write jokes ‘as needed’ – so we wouldn’t recommend quitting your job, as this gig might not provide enough income to match a full-time salary.

All you have to do to apply is write fifteen white cards (those are the ‘answer’ cards that people get to choose from in response to a black card) and five black cards, then send ’em over to Cards Against Humanity by the 31 August deadline.

Cards Against Humanity strongly encourages people of colour, immigrants, and members of the LGBTQ+ community to apply, which is nice, and are also keen for ‘hot single dads’ to register their interest.

Before you feel to overwhelmed by the horror of a blank card, it’s worth reading through the company’s tips.

Cards Against Humanity say that when it comes to white cards, they’re after ‘sharp, punchy cards that show and don’t tell’, and note that a white card needs to play brilliantly with multiple black cards.

For black cards, Cards Against Humanity advises putting your ‘blank’ after a preposition or a verb, and putting it at the end of your sentence so it reads like a punchline.

‘A good black card allows players to subvert an expected tone or logic,’ says the job listing.

If you fancy applying, you can do so through the Cards Against Humanity website. Here’s hoping your jokes will be ruining relationships and killing vibes in no time.

Best of luck.

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When you think about gourmet holidays in the UK, there are a handful of destinations that will pop into your mind.

I can guarantee that Cornwall is one of them. But Wiltshire? Probably not.

Indeed, it’s one of those places that I’ve been to so many times to shop – it’s just an hour and half down the M4 from London – but have hardly ever stopped long enough to have lunch.

Well, except the one time I stopped at the Red Lion Freehouse (which now has a Michelin star) on the way to Cornwall.

And yet, there’s a new map from Visit Wiltshire that’s hoping to change the public perception and put it, well, on the map as a foodie destination.

So with a long weekend booked off, I drove down to Wiltshire to see exactly what’s on offer.

My first stop was Lucknam Park, an impressive property on the outskirts of Bath, where a three-course dinner would set you back £87.

There’s a one-way road system that forces you to follow a grand drive way, taking in the magnificent building when the treeline finally reveals it.

I immediately wished I was staying the night – there are so many things to do on site, including a cookery school – but I was there to try out their one Michelin-starred restaurant, Restaurant Hywel Jones.

Their website tells me that ‘Restaurant Hywel Jones by Lucknam Park transports you to a bygone era of elegance and sophistication’, and that is very true.

Dinner takes place in an enormous room hung with chandeliers, and is preceded and succeeded by drinks in the nearby lounge.

The chef, Hywel Jones, has clearly made an effort to source British produce, with location markers like Cornish and Norfolk peppering the menu.

I enjoyed the chicken and duck liver parfait and loin of Wiltshire venison, followed by a moreish banana parfait with rum and raisin sponge.

After relaxing with post-dinner petit fours and fresh mint tea, it was time to drive to my bolt hole for the weekend – The Stables in Malmesbury.

It’s one of the two self-catering cottages at The Rookery, and was perfectly situated for my eating plans for the rest of the weekend – seemingly, everything delicious was no more than a 20-minute drive away from there.

It also came with the most delicious welcome cakes, a moist raisin number, made by my host Jenny. That was breakfast sorted then. Just as well because I got in exceptionally late on the first night.

Next up was Sunday lunch in Lacock, at Sign of the Angel.

The National Trust village gets plenty of footfall thanks to its credentials as a popular filming location (Harry Potter and Pride And Prejudice among them) and quintessential English village, but I wondered how many visit (mostly) for the food?

Well, Sign of the Angel is a 2 AA Rosette-awarded gastro pub set in a charming 15th century inn, and it’s very affordable at £21 for two courses.

And as I visited on a Sunday, it was all about the roast – belly of pork with apple fritters and seasonal vegetables in my case. They were incredibly gracious, even though I managed to arrive two hours late because of car trouble.

I was sorry not to see sticky toffee pudding on the menu though – surely a staple of a pub lunch?

But it was a gloriously sunny day so I swapped out for a rather futuristic looking gin parfait with cucumber and meringue, which probably helped me fare better in the heat.

Dinner was a stone’s throw from my cottage in Malmesbury, at the Michelin-starred The Dining Room at Whatley Manor.

The chef, Niall Keating, won the Michelin Young Chef award recently and I would not be surprised if they gained a second star in the next guide because the food is seriously imaginative and, more importantly, delicious.

A quick Google of his CV soon revealed why – Keating had previously worked for Sat Bains in Nottingham (two stars), Benu in San Francisco (three stars), and Kong Hans Kælder in Copenhagen (one star).

I had morsels like oyster with a seaweed mignonette, lobster custard with chicken broth and turbot sashimi on nashi pear as part of the tasting menu, but the stand out dish for me has to be the risotto with scallop. So much flavour and so many textures were distilled into a singular, colourful dish.

It’s not exactly cheap, at £120 per person for the tasting menu, but I’ve had inferior food in London that made a bigger dent in my wallet.

My final stop, en route back to London, was at Helen Browning’s Royal Oak, an organic gastro pub with its own farm.

I don’t think I’ve been anywhere quite like it – there were literally chickens greeting me at the door and they weren’t shy about fighting over the scraps later on.

I sat outside, under the canopy of the trees, and had a very generous open sandwich, topped with rare sirloin steak, tomatoes and horseradish, and hand-cut chips.

It was incredibly nice to soak up the rays streaming down between the leave.

Ruminating over the meals of the preceding days, I realised on reflection that I haven’t eaten so well in the UK for a long time.

Wiltshire might not have the lure of the Cornish coastline but its bounty is certainly more than brimful.

As I sipped the last of my refreshing elderflower cordial and readied myself for the drive back to London, there was just room for one last thing – a sticky toffee pudding.

Because what pub lunch would be complete without it?

Other things to do in Wiltshire:

You can kick back and enjoy the countryside – and there is quite a lot of it – but it’s also worth seeing some of the local attractions.

Westonbirt, the National Arboretum in Gloucestershire, is just a 20-minute drive from my base in Malmesbury – and you actually get complimentary entry if you stay at The Rookery’s cottages.

You get to see a lot of interesting trees, including a pine that was thought to have been extinct for millions of years before it was discovered again in Australia.

Tickets are £10 for adults.

In Lacock, there are a lot of filming locations, which are free to scout, and the village itself is generally quite picturesque.

You can also visit the Lacock Abbey and Fox Talbot museum, where you can learn all about the Brit who invented photography – but didn’t tell anyone until someone else pipped him to it.

Entry is £13.40 for adults.

If you love charming villages like Lacock, Wiltshire isn’t short of options. Castle Combe is another celebrated spot.

There are also a couple of grand houses nearby, which you’ll probably want to pack a picnic for.

Lydiard House is smaller and costs £6.50 for adults. There’s a huge park surrounding it, which is free to visit.

Bowood House costs £7.70 and this includes entry to house and gardens.

Where to stay in Wiltshire and how to get there:

I stayed at The Stables at The Rookery, which is available to book through Premier Cottages – there’s no additional booking fee or charges so what you see is what you get.

It’s a delightful one-bed property with a full kitchen/lounge and patio space in the garden. The bedroom is upstairs so it’s worth bearing in mind if you have trouble with stairs.

It’s within walking distance to the charming town centre of Malmesbury, too, just in case you want to ditch the car while you’re there.

A week’s stay for two starts from £475, and a three-night weekend starts from £356.

I booked a car through Zipcar as they had a few automatic ones near my office.

A three-day weekend hire, excluding additional mileage (60 miles a day is included in the basic membership) starts from £175.

For more ideas on what to do in Wiltshire, and where to eat, have a look at Visit Wiltshire and Visit England’s websites.

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(Top picture: Getty)

The average size of a woman in the UK is now a 14-16 but we are a dress size and body shape that’s poorly represented by celebrities and online influencers and often forgotten.

This representation issue is something I have struggled with.

The narratives around female bodies are centered around the two ends of the spectrum.

You have the plus-size community, which is represented in the public eye by influencers and models have who paved the way for the body-positive movement.

And then you have the slim, thin, athletic or modelesque bodies, like most celebrities shown as the ‘ideal’ to us.

The problem, for the average woman, is two fold.

We’re shown models like Iskra Lawrence and Ashley Graham, both hailed as the ‘plus-size’ holy grail by the fashion industry.

It’s worth pointing out that the term ‘plus size’ used to mean ‘plus what is already available in the usual size range’ and is now defined as over a size 18 in the UK today.

But like me, they’re both actually ‘mid’ size – around UK 12-14 – respectively. So when they should be representing ‘mid’ size women like me, they’re being misrepresented as plus-size instead – an error that doesn’t help women of any size.

Another issue I have is, do they really represent the body shapes of the average women of this size?

Unlike Ashley and Iksra, women like me have arms that just won’t fit into most of the blouses that certain high-street retailers make, and we’ve got natural hip dips that aren’t gained from six hours a day in the gym. And while our bums are more Kim than Gigi, people are not going to be commenting on them with the peach emoji.

The average woman isn’t photoshopped to perfection but we rarely get to see that.

Who even knows where they stand when it comes to dress sizes anyway, when we live in a world where size 12 women can’t fit into size 20 items in shops like H&M?

Misrepresentation and labelling of bodies is a real problem for women and it’s perpetuated in all areas of the media. And it leaves those of us who don’t identify with either ends of the size spectrum feeling lost and uninspired.

But times are changing – more women, like myself, are beginning to show their figures online as a way to represent people like ourselves, because we feel under represented.

When I first logged onto Instagram, to see an influencer who had knees like mine (an insecurity I’ve developed) wearing a mini-skirt, I suddenly wondered why I was always hiding in jeans. And when I saw an ASOS model with rounded upper arms, I was annoyed at myself for always wearing long sleeves.

The impact of seeing a body like your own, online and in the media, is an overwhelmingly positive feeling.

Seeing more regular women who are ‘mid-size’ (or ‘in between’ the established communities) showing off their bodies, in clothes and out of them, makes you realise that you’re not all that different. That you too can be confident sharing your style and in loving the skin you’re in.

This is an important movement for future generations.

Young people need to grow up and see a range of beautiful body types represented online, in the media and in the creative industries, so that they feel like they have a place to be themselves.

And that starts with us – the more we represent our differences in the public eye, the more those looking online or to the media for their inspirations will feel represented.

No longer will young women have only the one ‘ideal’ body type to aspire to. They will begin to see inspiration in women who are sharing their lives online by confidently showing their body types, and enjoying fashion for all shapes and sizes. And that can only ever be a good thing.

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Forget the Oscars and the Grammys. We’ve now got the shortlist for the most important, most prestigious award on the block.

Seafish has unveiled its top 20 shops and restaurants in the running to win a National Fish & Chip Award.

There are 14 categories in total, so each place does have a decent shot of taking home a title.

Each chippy will be judged on elements including sustainable sourcing policies, menu development, innovation, staff training, and promotion, as well as the general deliciousness of their fish and chips.

Over the next few weeks the chippies will undergo a phase of mystery diner judging inspections. Then the top 20 will be narrowed into a top 10 before the final stage of judging, which will be held in London in January 2019. It’s serious business.

Marcus Coleman, Chief Executive Officer at Seafish, said: ‘This flagship award category showcases the leading fish and chip businesses across the country.

‘There’s a tremendous amount of talent to be seen across the Top 20, and we wish them all the best in the next round of judging as we know how much this competition means to all of them.’

We’ve got a few months to wait until the winners will be announced, so in the meantime do feel free to head along to each shortlisted candidate and pick your favourite.

Once you’ve made your way through those, fill the time by visiting last year’s winning fish and chip spots.

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When you head over to someone’s house, there’s always a lingering temptation to nose around their things.

Everyone feels that, right?

The urge to look in their cupboards when you nip to the bathroom, to push open the door as you walk past their bedroom, a need to see what the inside of the fridge looks like. It’s normal.

That’s just part of the reason we run What I Rent, a weekly series going inside people’s rented properties.

The main reason we do it is to make sense of the confusing hellscape that’s renting in London, but getting to be nosy about how people live is an added bonus.

This week we’re hanging out with Gigi and John, a married couple who rent a two bedroom flat in Notting Hill.

Hi Gigi! Nice place. How much are you two paying for it?

We pay £1550 per month, plus £130 per month for electricity, gas, water, and council tax.

Other bills:

• TV/Internet – £53
• Gym – £80
• Food – £200
• Phone – £180
• Phone insurance – £17
• Life insurance – £30
• Spotify – £15
• Prime – £8

And what are you getting for your rent?

Two bedrooms and one bathroom, one living room, and one garden.

How did you end up living here?

We moved in at the beginning of June. We were previously living more or less across the road, literally less than one minute walk from here.

We love the area so much we wanted to stay close. John is an estate agent in the area and saw this one come up and immediately thought we should apply for it. Timing was right and we got it!

You live with your husband rather than a bunch of housemates you don’t know. What’s that like? 

John and I actually moved in together VERY quickly after we started dating.

John is Dutch and we met while I was living in the Netherlands on a working holiday visa, I changed jobs from a live in job and he asked me to move in and I just thought, ‘yeah, why not?!’

Within a week of living with him I’d painted a red feature wall and created a spare room out of his man cave.

It’s great not having to share with anybody. Previously we lived in a 5 bedroom shared house and the majority of the flatmates were weirdos.

When you live by yourself you don’t need to worry about creeping around and not waking people, doing your dishes before you start eating or whose laundry has been sitting in the washing machine for two days.

It’s just way more chill. There’s no cleaning roster or passive aggressive post it notes or group chats. It’s so much better!

Are you happy where you live?

We LOVE where we live! We’re pretty well connected and it’s great that we have Westbourne Park Station so close to us and buses on Great Western Road.

It’s about a 10 minute walk to Golbourne Road and Portobello Road Markets, which is great.

We both walk to work so there is no sweaty and stressful rush hour commute and we save money because of this as well. Harrow Road is great for fresh produce and Hyde Park is a close bike ride away. I never want to live anywhere else.

Do you have enough space?

We’ve just moved from a tiny one bedroom apartment so at the moment this feels very spacious for us, but I’m sure that eventually we’ll grow out of it.

It’s great having a garden! That’s something we’ve not had before in London and already we’ve had A LOT of BBQs. A BBQ was the first thing we bought when we moved in.

How have you made the flat feel like home?

The first thing we did is put all our pictures up on the wall. That always makes a house feel like a home. We’re very lucky to have been handed down lots of ‘homey’ things from friends and we think these things help make it feel like ours.

We also often host dinner parties with friends, which is nice. We love having a place we can host people.

We can’t help noticing that there’s a large poster of John hung in the garden… why?

We actually just got back from a music festival a few days ago, Sziget Festival in Budapest. We’ve been for the last four years and it’s our favourite festival in the world.

When we arrived this year we realised that somebody had taken a photo of John last year and put it up on a banner at the festival this year.

We went to cut it down on the last night, we asked them if we could do it and one guy said yes then the head of security came over and said no. We were going to take it no matter what but figured we may as well ask first.

They took a picture of John and the poster and our conversation we had with ‘Official Sziget’ on Facebook saying we could take it but the security guard asked on the radio and sziget said it was official Sziget property and we couldn’t take it.

They said that they would send us the picture and we could print it out…. BUT luckily the head of security was an awesome dude and covered his eyes and said he wasn’t looking!

We took it and now it’s home displayed in our garden.

Our neighbours look right out to it, they must think we’re crazy!

Are there any problems with the flat you have to put up with?

Not yet! We’ve had a few tiny problems here and there but our estate agent, Westways, is pretty great with everything and things have been fixed within a day.

Any plans to move again?

We’ll be here for a while, (I hope!) moving is such a hassle! This is our sixth place in two years and we spent a year in our last place. We have a contract here for a year and then we’ll go from there.

At this stage I’m keen on staying though. We’re trying to have a baby so eventually we’ll need to upgrade but at the moment this is perfect for us.

And what about buying a place? 

We’d love to buy a place but we’re worried that we’ll never be able to afford to buy in London….or even anywhere close.

We’re saving! If we could afford to buy something we’d love to buy something like this. Watch this space.

Alright then. Shall we have a look around Gigi and John’s flat?

What I Rent is a weekly series that’s out every Tuesday at 10am. Check back next week to have a nose around another rented property in London. 

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We’ve tackled plastic straws, but there’s still a long way to go in dealing with the world’s plastic issue.

Next up on the environment agenda is contact lenses – and why you shouldn’t flush them down the toilet.

According to a recent study, US citizens flush down between two to three billion lenses every year, a total of 44,000 to 51,000 pounds (20-23 metric tons).

To give a comparison, that’s three and a half average-sized elephants or one fifth of a blue whale.

As if sea life hasn’t suffered enough at the hands of humans.

The research was conducted by scientists at Arizona State University (ASU) and included Charles Rolsky, who is currently studying for his PhD.

Speaking to Mail Online, Rolsky said: ‘We found that 15-20% of contact-lens wearers are flushing the lenses down the sink or toilet.

‘This is a pretty large number, considering roughly 45 million people in the US alone wear contact lenses.’

So what happens to the lenses once they enter the ocean?

Fish and other sea life will ingest them and if you haven’t already seen what plastic does to them, take a look here.

Meanwhile, fragments that aren’t eaten by aquatic life will make its way back to your plate – it’s no secret that plastic is now part of your daily food intake.

Along with fleece fuzz.

Made up of a range of silicones, fluoropolymers and acrylic glass, the contact lenses also pose a risk to birds, worms and other species.

Five different polymers that can be found in contact lenses were matched to microorganisms in various wastewater treatment facilities.

Environmental screening studies are regularly conducted on wastewater, but these particular materials aren’t generally on the list.

‘We found that there were noticeable changes in the bonds of the contact lenses after long-term treatment with the plant’s microbes,’ said Varun Kelkar, another researcher on the team from ASU, when speaking to Mail Online.

‘When the plastic loses some of its structural strength, it will break down physically.

‘This leads to smaller plastic particles which would ultimately lead to the formation of microplastics.’

Researchers are urging manufacturers to tell people how to dispose of their lenses, by including information on the labels.

In the UK, we flush down more than what comes out of our bodies, too.

A survey among 1,000 participants, conducted by Lanes Group, shows that 31% regularly throw wet wipes down the toilet.

Another 32% admit to using kitchen roll to wipe their bottoms, which may seem harmless, except the material doesn’t disintegrate like toilet paper does.

‘With the toilet, although it might be tempting you shouldn’t flush wet wipes, kitchen roll or anything other than toilet roll down the loo,’ Michelle Ringland, head of marketing at Lanes Group tells Metro.co.uk.

‘The same also goes for things like toilet roll inner tubes, cotton buds, contact lenses and dental floss.

‘If you put enough of it down there, and because they won’t disintegrate, they’ll all just end up clogging the drain somewhere along the way, and then you’ll have the delightful task of cleaning out the soil stack.

‘The same goes for the bathroom sink and bath or shower drain. Many of the smaller items end up in watercourses.’

So, let’s just agree on something, shall we?

Invest in a nice bathroom bin and let’s keep whatever goes down the toilet au naturel.

Yeah, poop.

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We’ve all experienced the panic of thinking a tampon has disappeared inside us.

Blame all those horror stories we were told in our teens, blame the entirely valid warning of toxic shock syndrome on the box of every sanitary product, blame those xoJane stories about people getting things yanked out of their vagina by gynaecologists.

Whatever the cause, it’s easy to get paranoid when we reach up to pull on a tampon string and find nothing there.

In the case of 24-year-old Ushaanaa Laela Shah, the tampon was never there to begin with… but she only found that out after spending three and a half hours in A&E.

Ushaanaa shared her story on Facebook, writing: ‘I was at home around 4.30pm when I went to the toilet to change.

‘I couldn’t find the end of the string and at first I started laughing until I started freaking out.

‘I got into the bath hoping that might help and contemplated whether this could be the end.

‘I text my friend and she even came over to try and help me but when my mum came home, she suggested me went to A&E.

‘I even felt like I had a tummy ache.’

Ushaanaa headed to St Mary’s hospital in Newport, where she waited for three hours before doctors were able to examine her.

Doctors conducted an internal examination and found no trace of a tampon. They said that rather than a tampon getting lost inside Ushaanaa, she hadn’t put a tampon in at all. She had just imagined she had. Easily done.

The stomach pains she felt were likely psychological, doctors concluded, because she got all worked up about the ‘missing’ tampon.

‘I did feel a little embarrassed but I felt worse for wasting their time,’ said Ushaanaa.

‘They told me that they had lots of girls do the same thing and that it was better to be safe than sorry.

‘No one will let me forget it now, my friends have been ripping me ever since.’

Now, while Ushaanaa’s story is funny, it should also teach us an important lesson.

It’s actually impossible for a tampon to get lost inside the vagina unless you have some type of prolapse or injury. That’s because your vagina is really more of a cul-de-sac than a street – there’s the vaginal opening, then at the other end you have the cervix, which leads to the uterus.

The opening of the cervix is teeny-tiny – much too small for a tampon to fit through. The cervix only opens up enough for anything to get through it during childbirth, when it dilates.

So no, a tampon cannot get lost inside you – it doesn’t have anywhere to go.

What can happen, however, is that your tampon gets stuck inside you. When the string goes inside the vagina it can be tricky to get a good grip on the tampon. Usually you’ll be able to gently slide it out with your fingers and – if you need it – some lube. Stay relaxed, get into a squatting position, and try to push down with your vaginal muscles and the tampon should come out.

If it’s still not budging, don’t panic. That’s when it’s time to go to a doctor or gynaecologist for some help. They’ll have special tools that’ll be able to pull that sucker right out.

This usually only happens if you forget to remove your tampon, which can cause it to compress at the top of your vagina. Try to never leave a tampon in for longer than eight hours, and if you often forget, consider sticking an alarm on your phone when you insert a fresh one.

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I must confess to having known very little about Dali beyond the melting clocks.

My one significant encounter was going to an exhibition of his works on a date with a lad I fancied. I have cringe-inducing memories of using the word ‘trippy’ on the date, but not much beyond that.

Certainly, I had no idea that Dali’s life and work had been so shaped by a woman – the love of his life, his wife, his muse – or that he had, at some point, combined their signatures into one: Gala Salvador Dali.

A new exhibition in Barcelona has brought this enigmatic woman into the spotlight. Titled A Room Of One’s Own In Pubol, it draws together a collection of his works and her possessions.

Walking through the curated rooms at the Museu Nacional D’Art de Catalunya, the romantic in me was smiling.

There are hair bows, an ornate hand mirror, a vast collection of books, a necklace of enamel flowers. There’s the Dali and Schiaparelli-designed hat in the shape of a shoe, alongside a picture of Gala – all angular Slavic features and impossibly arched eyebrows – wearing it. There’s a work entitled Couple With Their Head Full Of Clouds, and a 1936 photograph by Cecil Beaton of the couple with it.

Several jerky black and white projections added to my new insights.

With his iconic waxed moustache and genius-has-struck expression (which reminded me of the professor in Back To The Future), Dali came across as somewhat grandiose – but playfully so.

And the way he talked about Gala – as the woman he wanted to marry again – gave me all the heart eyes. Her face appeared in his work over and over and over again. Who has never fantasised about being so adored?

It’s a different muse that I was introduced to later that evening at Bar Marsella – absinthe.

Located just around the corner from Rambla del Raval, this atmospheric bar is the oldest in Barcelona, and a favourite haunt of Dali when in the city.

The absinthe, lined up against the speckled mirror behind the bar, is unique to this joint. Created for over 100 years at a distillery nearby, it was paler in colour and not as strong as the absinthe you might find elsewhere – which, explained the bartender with a wicked gleam, made it far more drinkable and therefore, probably, far more dangerous.

I can’t say that I was struck by any extraordinary visions or inspirations that night but I did make it to Barcelona Sants the next morning in time to catch the high-speed train to Figueres.

Tickets can be booked in advance online and cost €21 one way, getting you to Figueres-Vilafant in under an hour. From the station it’s a short, €1,70 bus ride into the centre, where Dali Theatre And Museum – the site of the artist’s tomb – is located. Entry is timed and tickets are €14.

From the outside, the museum looked every bit as bizarre in its surroundings as photos have led me to expect: a jumble of egg shapes were perched above its pink walls, which were studded with what looked to me like the coiled turds of a farm animal, but which I find out later were life-sized casts of loaves of bread, a daily staple with which the artist had a fascination.

The inside was extraordinary. The floor plan advised against taking the suggested route through the many rooms and levels too seriously, so I didn’t. Instead, I allowed myself to drift from space to space.

At almost every turn, I could feel my eyes widen, confronted with works on a huge scale and in every conceivable medium.

The vast main gallery was topped by a geometric-paned glass dome, through which light flooded through; beyond this was a lushly planted garden in which a statue of a goddess stood on a Cadillac.

Several times, I heard children crying, which was hardly surprising given the blank-faced, dismembered dolls, the inverted chairs placed on torso-less mannequins and the clusters of corn cobs from which ghastly faces stared back.

I was taken with a series of pen and ink drawings that reminded me of tarot cards, while upstairs, a curved blue gallery documented a seeming obsession with creating human-like shapes from rock forms, blossoming with lichen.

The much-copied red lip Mae West sofa was there; I ascended a small staircase under the belly of a camel to get the full impact of a face, framed by hair, with monstrous nostrils atop those red lips.

Gala was frequently recognisable, but I was taken aback by how diverse and prolific Dali was and unsure what to make of him – an irreverent genius with a great sense of fun, or a man with serious issues?

Perhaps the house he shared with Gala in the seaside town of Port Lligat would yield some clues.

It’s about a 10 minute walk from the museum to the bus station, from which a bus to Cadaques departs every hour or so. Tickets are €5.50 and the journey takes about an hour.

If, like me, you’ve had a sensational paella and a beer before setting off, you may immediately nod off on the bus. But it’s worth setting your inner alarm to wake you up about 45 minutes into the journey, at Roses, where the roads become more winding and interesting. They’re lined by vineyards, and scrubby hills to which white houses cling, and that part to tease with glimpses of wide blue sea.

Cadaques was sleepy and sun-kissed and looked well worth a wander in its own right – but I was on my Dali mission and not about to be distracted by a pretty white dress floating in a shop door (OK I was distracted for a minute).

As you walk along the seafront, turn left just before Casa Nun Restaurant to follow a mostly pedestrianised 15 minute route to Port Lligat. Flip flops aren’t your best bet for this one; it’s largely uneven and, in some sections, steep.

Like the museum, entry is timed – understandably here, as the house is a warren of small rooms, and even bags have to be left in a cloakroom.

A polar bear, draped with necklaces, was rearing up to greet me as I entered. A present from Henry James, he was just one example of taxidermy in a house that’s (pardon the pun) stuffed with it.

Yet there’s simplicity here, too – the mirror angled by the bedroom window so that Dali could watch the sun rise without leaving his bed; the piles of yellow flowers, called Eternal, that Gala festooned from the ceilings and arranged along the tops of wardrobes; the olive groves from which gorgeous views of the bay are to be had; the simple white of the walls – both interior and exterior – against which the rest of the colours pop.

In the studio, there’s also the incomplete work that Dali was working on when he died.

He went, the guide told me, to the castle at Pubol – the third point on the triangle – and never returned.

‘When was that?’ I asked.

‘1992,’ she said.

‘And Gala?’

‘Also 1992,’ came the reverential reply.

In all of the oddness of Dali that I’ve imbibed in the previous 24 hours, this turned out to be, perhaps, the oddest thing of all.

This was definitely not a clumsy mistake – the guide was misty-eyed-insistent that their deaths, within months of each other, were their final romantic statement.

Subsequent research, however, revealed that Gala, who was 10 years old than Dali, died a good seven years before him – and, despite the impressive longevity of their union and the even more dazzling body of work they produced, they appear to have had a relationship as bizarre and as twisted as a Dali painting, complete with open infidelities, orgies and, towards the end, beatings and drugging.

I didn’t make it to Pubol on this trip, as it’s best reached by car if time is short.

Its castle, a gift from Dali to Gala, from which many of the objects at the new exhibition have been extracted and which, in itself, may appear to be have been the ultimate love-token, is another paradox: once completed, it was a condition of Gala’s that Dali could only visit with her written invitation – and she made good use of her privacy there by entertaining a number of men.

Time, like a Dali clock, had melted away on this visit, and by the time I made it back to Figueres, I had missed the fast train back to Barcelona.

Instead, I took the regional train (€12) from the station just by the terminal, to which the bus from Cadaques had returned.

A couple on my carriage spent the journey plucking one another’s eyebrows, playing loud music, snogging loudly, giving each other resounding horsebites and shouting.

It took over 2 hours to get back to the city, and although the scenery was gorgeous, I had more than enough time to ponder the fact that love was a many splendoured, if not always completely splendid, thing.

Other things to do in Barcelona:

While you’re in Barcelona, wander out of the Gothic Quarter and down towards the seafront to take a stroll towards the Olympic Port, where Hotel Arts is located.

The cocktail list at P41 Bar, which takes its name from the latitude on which Barcelona lies, is inspired by other destinations on the same latitude. The menu has been designed to look like vintage airline baggage labels or airline tickets.

The Smoking Razz, named after Taoxian in China, contains gin, egg white, Lapsang Souchong, lime and fresh raspberries, and would be an absolute winner even if its presentation, in a pipe-shaped glass, wasn’t so enticing.

The small plates bar menu was also thoroughly enjoyable, with offerings like shucked oysters and Oscietra caviar, but the standout plate was Iberian ham, bread, tomato and fat, clear globules of what looked like some kind of roe but was actually olive oil caviar – unctuous morsels of heaven.

Where to stay in Catalonia and how to get there:

I stayed at the 4-star Hotel Barcelo Raval. Located right by the lively square of the same name, it’s perfectly and centrally positioned for getting around to all of Barcelona’s main attractions.

Easily distinguished from the outside by its metallic, cylindrical form, the quirky factor continues inside with a riot of pink and black decor, dotted with mannequins and statement lighting.

Rooms are compact and well designed, and there are nice touches, like cava on arrival, a scent menu for your room and mint foot massage gel as part of the turn down service.

The B-Lounge restaurant on the ground floor serves up a variety of great food. But the real highlight? The 360-degree rooftop terrace, complete with bar and pool.

Vueling flies to Barcelona nine times a day, with prices starting from £88 return.

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You may have noticed that we now have access to a lobster emoji, after Unicode chose to include the crustacean in their latest update.

Which, to me, begs the question: what’s more important: the trans community or a lobster?

The answer should be obvious, but given that Unicode (which Facebook, Google and Apple are voting members of) chose to emoji-fy a lobster over the transgender flag, the question needs to be asked.

The lobster emoji proposal argued that people suffered ‘frustration and confusion’ at having to use a shrimp or crab emoji instead of a lobster.

I don’t know about you, but as a trans woman, I find my representation more of a priority than that of a sea-dwelling, non-phone using creature.

The transgender flag is one of the most requested emojis – it is the MOST requested flag emoji.

And it’s been rejected for the last three years, despite a number of proposals.

So I’ve started #ClawsOutForTrans, a campaign to hijack the new lobster emoji until we get the trans flag.

Emojis are a way for the world to connect and trans people shouldn’t be left out of the conversation.

Surely we deserve the same rights that are afforded to crustaceans? Especially as a community so often faced with violence and discrimination.

Let’s give our trans mothers, brothers, fathers, sisters and friends the love they deserve!

Hijacking the lobster emoji may seem an odd choice but lobsters can actually be gynandromorphs (an organism that contains both male and female characteristics).

So we’re going to take it as our symbol, until we get the trans emoji we deserve.

I struggled in the early days of my transition, I didn’t know any other trans people at the time.

It’s a similar story for most trans people, so most of us use social media as a way of connecting with others from our community. Such a small thing can mean the world to a trans person who has little or no access to their community outside of the internet.

A few years ago I started Nail Transphobia, travelling the UK, painting nails, having conversations and changing perspectives.

More recently my new beauty brand Nail It uses nail art to take the conversations about trans issues even further – and now the conversation has gone digital.

Of the 2,823 emojis, many get a lot of use, but others sink into obscurity; it would be fab to see a little more love for the aerial tramway emoji, for example.

One thing I can be certain of, after the amazing responses from people eagerly awaiting the trans flag emoji – the numerous posts, name handle changes to the lobster and the GYRO LGBT TransYouth Group drawing the lobster –if our emoji was made, it would never feature on the Twitter account dedicated to the least used emoji each day.

Some may argue that the inclusion of a rainbow flag emoji should be enough to satisfy us – and while it’s true that the Pride flag has fast become one of the most loved emojis, representing the whole rainbow community, trans and gay are very different things and it’s damaging and dangerous to conflate the two.

Trans women are not just gay men in dresses and telling us to quit moaning and just use the gay flag perpetuates this stereotype.

This summer it’s been incredible to see our flag on TfL’s tube signs and the creation of a trans flag inspired bench at Shoreditch High Street with the hashtag #EveryLoveMatters… but it’s not just who you love that matters; how you identify matters, too.

And I, and thousands of others identify with the trans flag. It’s our symbol.

And it’s not just our flag we need on the keyboard, we need to see all the LGBT community flags, because visual signs of inclusivity promote inclusion.

Visibility is vital to ending transphobia.

And what is more visible than our phone screens?

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The ‘Usain Bolt of pugs’ has won the title for the third year running.

Emma is a four year old pup who just loves to zoom.

She was one of 60 dogs competing in the International Pug Race, held in Berlin on Saturday 18 August, where pups and their owners from around the world gathered to celebrate the speediest pugs.

Emma completed the 50 metre dash in under six seconds, making her the clear winner.

Pugs aren’t generally famed for their athletic abilities, being bred neither as working dogs or watchdogs.

They’ve got adorably chunky, loaf-like little bods and short, stubby legs – not to mention the squashy face and (less cute) breathing problems that can accompany it.

Most pugs won’t be invited to the doggy Olympics anytime soon and the average speed of a pug (depending on age and health) is between three and five miles per hour.

However, Emma’s need for speed set her apart from the other contestants.

Although some pugs struggled to compete the 50 metres in under 40 seconds and others got adorably distracted and ran the wrong way, Emma flew across the finishing line.

Her little eyes were aflame with the impending glory of winning first place and with unadulterated love for the pure act of zooming.

Her time meant that she was running at an approximate speed of 18.6 miles per hour, well above the average for ordinary puggos.

This was the ninth annual International Pug Meeting, and it remains to be seen whether Emma will defend her title for the fourth year running in 2019.

Congratulations on your win, Emma!

All hail the zooming queen.

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While some of us are still trying to master the art of contouring without looking like we’re covered in streaks, others are way ahead of the game.

Romanie-Jade Tulloch, a 19-year-old from Nottinghamshire, has been perfecting her signature illusionist looks since January this year, and people are loving the style.

In less than a year, the makeup artist, who studied fine art at Nottingham College for two years, has attracted a dedicated social media audience of 124,000 followers.

Speaking to Metro.co.uk, Tulloch says: ‘I get a lot of my inspiration from nature – it’s the basis of all art – and from past artists like Leonardo da Vinci, Andy Warhol, Claude Monet and others.

‘A lot of people have asked me if I have a theme and I don’t really.

‘Everything I do is a bit random, I can be sitting down and a random thought pops into my head, and I think oh I’ll try that today.’

The process for the illusions differs depending on what type of structure she settles on and can take between three to five hours to create.

‘I use a lot of small detail brushes in my work, I view it like painting on my face – the smaller the brush, the better,’ Tulloch explains.

‘For detailing I use white clown face paint, and then normal eyeshadow palettes and eyeliner; all of the normal makeup tools but used in a different way.’

Although new to the Instagram makeup scene, the artist has already released her own brush set together with Sigma Beauty.

A self-taught makeup artist, Tulloch credits her home schooling and art degree for her skills.

‘I didn’t study makeup, but I was home educated by my mum, and then I studied for a fine art extended diploma at NCN college (now known as Nottingham college) for 2 years.

‘I feel like these things really helped me focus on growing my art and different techniques, which funnily enough still helps me when I’m doing my makeup illusions.

‘I’ve always loved makeup, and I’ve always loved art, the two go hand in hand.’

If you fancy giving the styles a go yourself, you can do so on a fairly small budget.

‘The materials can cost anywhere between £5 to £30, it all depends on the brands you use.

‘I use a lot of Nyx professional makeup, as those products are kind of made for artistic makeup, and are always affordable.’

Tulloch, who is getting married next September, plans on doing her own makeup on the big day.

‘I will be doing my own makeup, I can’t really imagine anyone else doing it for me. I feel like I know my face and exactly what I want.’

For her next look, she reveals that it will look ‘edgy’ but is coy on giving us any more information.

Need a daily dose of Insta art?

You can follow Tulloch on Instagram here.

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Kim Kardashian West is known for her perfectly contoured skin, but what do you really need to emulate her look?

Patrick Ta, a makeup guru who has also worked with Gigi Hadid and Chrissy Teigan, has revealed the secrets of what goes into Kim’s foundation routine in a video on the reality TV star’s app.

Although Kim has opted for a slightly more natural look since launching KKW Beauty in 2017, there are still plenty of steps involved in creating her flawless foundation.

Patrick uses eight different products on Kim’s skin, costing $310 ( approximately £240).

Fans who want to emulate her look will need to invest in some high-end products, including a pricey foundation.

Patrick says that he starts Kim’s routine by prepping her skin with REN’s 3-in-1 Cleansing Water, a London- based cult skincare brand that promotes natural ingredients that are kind to the skin.

The cleansing water is used to ready the skin for the application of the other products, and also to remove the makeup later.

Next, Patrick smooths Kate Somerville’s ‘Quench’ Hydrating Serum over Kim’s skin to eliminate dryness and stop the skin looking uneven once foundation is applied over the top.

The key to Kim’s look is a really smooth finish.

Kim’s foundation is the pricey Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation, that costs £119.00 per 100ml.

According to Patrick, this is a medium coverage product, which means that you can layer more of it on if needed – always using a beauty blender.

For Kim’s under-eye area, Patrick uses Kryolan Dermacolor Camouflage Creme Foundation to hide dark circles, and runs this concealer across the bridge of her nose.

Patrick isn’t done with concealer yet, and utilises a second one – the Make Up Forever Lift Concealer – to layer over the top.

In order to create a chiseled profile, the concealer is applied to the hollows of Kim’s cheekbones and up her jaw as far as her hairline.

Patrick will then use the lightweight Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Powder, a product he recommends for anyone who wants to get that flawless finishing touch.

Finally, Smashbox Bronze Lights in Suntan Matte is brushed along Kim’s jaw, jawline and the outer edges of her nose to add a warm, bronze glow.

All this happens before Kim’s makeup guru even starts on her eyes or lips.

It’s not going to be a quick process, and Kim K’s favourite skin products definitely aren’t cheap, but if you want to emulate the beauty mogul and mum of three, Patrick’s guide will help you get that distinctive smooth and expertly contoured look.

It’s just a shame we don’t all have expert makeup artists on hand.

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Weddings are notorious tearjerkers.

Two people are solidifying their bond, promising to love each other until the end of time while family and friends (and potentially invited exes) sob softly in the background.

So how do you top the most romantic day of your life?

With a proposal between two guests, of course.

Last Saturday, 31-year-old Charlene McGhee, a care worker from Stakeford, got married to her now husband Alan at St Wilfrid’s Church in Blyth.

She wanted to share her wedding day with her brother Antoni Kerr, and so when the opportunity presented itself to help orchestrate a proposal, she was more than happy to help.

During the reception, Charlene got ready to throw the bouquet but instead of tossing it into the crowd, she turns around and walks up to her brother’s girlfriend Rebecca Stafford and hands her the flowers.

The crowd watch on as Antoni then kneels before his soon-to-be fiancé and pops the question.

A shell-shocked but happy Rebecca says yes, before the pair kiss and embrace each other.

‘I was very, very nervous,’ says Antoni.

‘I had told her mam and dad last year, when I asked for permission [to marry her]. It didn’t feel like anyone else was there when I was doing it, because you are so focused on what you are doing.

‘She knew there was going to be a surprise but wasn’t expecting this – she thought it was gig tickets.’

The moment was extra precious as the couple’s baby girl Skylar was there to witness the special occasion. She was born prematurely at 24 weeks.

‘We got told there were problems with her lungs developing,’ Antoni says.

‘At 34 weeks we were told everything was fine and she didn’t need a machine – it was a miracle.

‘We are really looking forward to the future now.’

Though some people might be averse to relinquishing the spotlight on their wedding day, the idea for the proposal actually came from the bride.

‘It was my idea – I just thought it would be a really special to do it that way,’ Charlene says.

‘Her dad was the photographer at my wedding, so all of her family were there to see. She was crying and so happy.

‘They have been through so much. If anyone deserves it, it’s my brother.’

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Cristiana wants to show everyone that her life is full of adventure.

The 43-year-old vegan was once a legal advisor dating a commercial pilot. Six years ago that (now ex) boyfriend told she could never be a pilot. She decided to prove him wrong.

Cristiana set her sights on a private pilot licence, and through hard work and determination, she made it happen.

Since learning to fly, Cristiana has flown to 13 different countries and has flown around California, Nevada, and Texas while visiting the USA.

Now she shares her life on Instagram as blondemouse, to show off how much fun she’s having as a vegan and a pilot.

‘My ex-boyfriend, who was a commercial pilot, once told me that I could never have become a pilot,’ said Cristiana.

‘That’s when I decided to become a pilot. I had never thought about it before. I decided to become a private pilot, to fly for fun, not to make a business out of it.

‘Being a pilot is very useful if you don’t like traveling by car or by boat or if you hate checks at the airports.

‘If you go somewhere and you get bored you just choose another destination and take off again. Flying yourself gives you a lot of freedom.

‘It’s the best feeling ever because everything is so much better from up there: the world is prettier, weather normally is better. Almost everything looks nice from a plane, even ugly places.

‘Flying is interesting, challenging. You need to concentrate, to make decisions. You can never relax during a flight, you have to be attentive, precise, to keep on checking and to be ready for whatever happens. So once you are able to do things properly, it is very satisfactory.’

Cristiana started sharing her life on Instagram after a friend suggested she shared her adventures with the world.

She hopes that by posting pictures of what’s going on in her life she’ll get rid of the lingering judgement around female pilots, and prove that you can do all the things you love – whether that’s promoting veganism, fashion, or flying – and have a lot of fun doing it.

‘I’m just a vegan girl who has fun flying,’ she explains.

‘Fortunately, I have never had problems in my legal career because I am a woman. There is a certain amount of discrimination against women in aviation, but I just ignore it.

‘It is possible to have fun, to go to beautiful places, to wear sexy or stylish clothes, to be a fashionista, to eat delicious food all whilst respecting animals.

‘Every type of life is at the same level and should be respected.

‘I want people to understand that being vegan doesn’t mean having a boring life without any pleasure. It’s just the opposite.’

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The ‘Quarter Hounder’ is being released in honour of National Burger Day.

Smith & Whistle, a bar in London’s Mayfair, is offering customers’ canine companions the chance to sample a one-off doggy burger for pampered pooches.

The burger will be available for good boys (and girls) from Thursday 23 August for one week only, so pups can tuck into their own nosh while their owners enjoy a human-friendly version.

The Quarter Hounder is a collaboration between David Jackson, a specialist in canine nutrition, and chefs at Smith & Whistle.

It was created to be as nutritionally valuable as possible but still delicious, and features a lean chicken breast sandwiched between cooked sweet potato slices instead of a bread bun.

The burger is garnished with kale and tomato, and an added slice of cheese is optional.

Each Quarter Hounder is completely free as long as you buy a human burger at the same time.

Smith & Whistle is a dog-friendly bar, and its location opposite Green Park means that dogs and their owners can work off their burgers with a leisurely (or not so leisurely) stroll.

It also offers a permanent ‘dogtail’ menu – a speciality selection of drinks just for pups.

The bar manager of Smith & Whistle, Bruno Castro, says: ‘We were delighted with the success of our “dogtail” menu in April and have loved welcoming so many pooches through the doors of Smith & Whistle.

‘The popularity of the dogtails highlighted the demand for places that really go above and beyond to cater for man’s best friend and so we’re excited to be adding a new item to our menu for them in celebration of National Burger Day.

‘We’re confident the Quarter Hounders will go down a treat.’

If you want to purchase a doggy burger on its own, the Quarter Hounder will set you back £8.

With National Dog Day approaching on Sunday 26 August, it’s an excellent time to spoil your four legged friend.

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There are so many high profile and talented men in the beauty industry.

From big names like Bretman Rock, Wayne Goss, and Patrick Starrr to slightly smaller but still super incredible influencers like The Plastic Boy and Jake Jamie, there’s really no shortage of inspiration.

Chanel are obviously aware that more and more guys are choosing to get creative with makeup, and are launching a line specifically for men off the back of it.

The collection – called Boy De Chanel – will include foundation and an eyebrow pencil with spoolie, as well as some lip balm, and will be sold in South Korea from next month.

Following in the footsteps of Tom Ford’s ‘for men’ makeup range, the branding is sleek and monochrome, clearly designed to entice those who might not have had the confidence to play with cosmetics before.

It seems for some, though, it’s missed the mark.

For one, the shade range is pretty limited; There are four. Also, why does it need to be gendered in the first place?

People weighed in on Twitter:

It’s not clear whether the foundation will be a new formulation or is simply the same product marketed at a new group.

While it’s always going to be a good thing that more people can start enjoying new hobbies like beauty, perhaps it wasn’t the wisest decision to start with a limited, specifically gendered range.

For the record, makeup is for everyone, and you can wear it however you want.

Metro.co.uk have contacted Chanel for comment, and will update if we hear back.

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Think pussy bow blouses, utilitarian outerwear and heavy knits.

In September, H&M studios will be releasing their AW18 womenswear collection, inspired by the 90s cult TV series Twin Peaks.

Entitled ‘Neo Noir Chic’, the range will include silky statement items and well-cut, androgynous wardrobe classics.

Set in the sleepy logging town of Twin Peaks, the original show first aired in 1990 and followed FBI agent Dale Cooper as he investigated the murder of high school student Laura Palmer.

The series combines classic crime drama elements with the supernatural and surreal dream sequences to create a unsettling vibe that has captured the imagination of audiences for nearly 30 years.

H&M’s new collection channels the aesthetic of Twin Peaks, with turtlenecks that wouldn’t look out of place on Audrey Horne, Cooper-inspired trench coats and a gold, navy and cream colour palette that Donna Haywood would definitely approve of.

There’s even a printed scarf and T-shirt with an image of two cats on it that wouldn’t look out of place in one of Agent Cooper’s bizarre dreams.

Angelica Grimborg, the Concept Designer for H&M Studio, told Metro.co.uk: ‘For this season, many of the H&M Studio team were watching the original David Lynch Twin Peaks series and we were particularly inspired by the iconic looks of the female characters.

‘They dress with a certain kind of soft-focus nostalgia: the series is set in the late 80s and early 90s, but each look has its origins in a 50s aesthetic that brings to mind the wardrobes of 50s movie stars.

‘We wanted to do a contemporary take on a 50s look – something ultra-feminine but also borrowed from the boys.’

The muted tones and boyish cuts contrast with ladylike pieces including a hot pink, slinky slip dress and pleated pink and orange sweater and skirt set.

Sturdy denims, jeans with turned up cuffs, cosy cropped knits and a warm navy peacoat will make the wearer feel like they’re in rural Washington (hopefully not while Killer Bob is on the loose).

Pernilla Wohlfahrt, H&M’s Design Director, said: ‘With H&M Studio, we love the play between the feminine and masculine and this year we added a 50’s twist.

‘There are ultra-feminine options combined with mannish details and super-classic pieces that invite you to create your own distinctive look.’

The collection will be available to buy online and in selected stores from 6 September.

H&M Studio is a limited edition line, so key pieces may sell out quickly.

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