Family cat Admiral Galacticat is a bit of a naughty boy.
The kitty has been thieving around his neighbourhood in Metairie, Louisiana.
His owner Heather Bardi has had to make awkward apologies to her neighbours after finding dozens of items of their clothing in her home.
Heather and Joseph, the cat’s owners, realised that more and more items were turning up after letting Admiral Glacticat out of the house.
Normally, the cat stays indoors but has recently protested to be let out.
Once they let him out, Heather realised that mysterious items kept showing up in the house.
When she checked the property’s security cam footage, lo and behold, she saw Admiral Galacticat sauntering in with tank tops, socks, tops, and towels.
She has since uploaded images of the found property and posted photos online for people to identify their items and pick them up.
At least the neighbours now know where all their socks went.
At least now they know where their socks went (Picture: Heather Bardi/Facebook)
Joseph revealed that before they figured out the mysterious items were due to their beloved kitty’s thieving ways, they were worried.
Heather even contacted the police to report the clothing that kept showing up at their door.
She then set up security cameras to catch the perp in action.
Once they realised it was none other than Admiral Galacticat, Joseph and Heather had a laugh.
Posting on a local Facebook group, Heather uploaded a picture of the thief and shamed him for his sneaky ways.
She wrote: ‘My cat is stealing your laundry. I have no clue where else to post to reach you all.
‘Two weeks ago, suspicious items started appearing on my front porch. First was a tank top and two Nike socks.
‘The next morning, a dishrag, a ripped pair of boxers and more Nike socks. Now in that past two days, half a girl’s bikini, size medium, a few more dishrags, and a beach towel.
‘All seemingly freshly out of the dryer except the bathing suit and towel that smelled like sunscreen.
Anyone missing their towels? (Picture: Heather Bardi/Facebook)
‘First I thought a drunk just left stuff on my patio because the lamplighter is right up the street and drunk people are often seen stumbling home in the wee hours of the morning. Anyway, I got security cameras and lo and behold, it is MY CAT that is stealing SOMEONE’s clean laundry and bringing it home.’
She continued: ‘Now I am grateful it’s not a dead sparrow or mouse, but I am sure someone is at home scratching their head as to where their clothes keep disappearing to.
‘Trust me, it is not the dryer monster, but Admiral.’
Heather alerted the neighbours that they were free to swing by her house to pick up lost goods which she has since washed.
‘You are more than welcome to come by and grab the bag and shame my asshole cat if he is around. Just message me. Also, sorry my cat is a kleptomaniac.’
The eight shops under threat – which have not reopened following lockdown – will enter a consultation period ahead of their possible permanent closure, with John Lewis saying the decision has been made to ‘secure the business’s long-term future and respond to customers’ shopping needs’.
As well as the eight shops which are not re-opening, nine more of the company’s branches are set to open their doors again soon – but which stores are under threat, and which ones are opening up again?
Here’s what you need to know…
Which John Lewis stores are at risk of closure?
These are the branches of John Lewis which have gone into consultation and look unlikely to reopen:
Croydon
Swindon
Tamworth
Newbury
Heathrow Terminal Two
London St Pancras
Birmingham Bullring Shopping Centre
Watford Harlequin Shopping Centre
It said the eight shops were already ‘financially challenged’ before the coronavirus pandemic, which has driven customers towards online shopping.
Prior to the pandemic around 40 per cent of John Lewis’ sales were online – but it’s thought that figure could rise to between 60 and 70 per cent this year and next.
Which John Lewis branches are reopening?
The company’s online sales are set to rise this year in the wake of the pandemic (Picture: PA)
A further nine branches of John Lewis are set to reopen on 30 July, as part of their phased reopening which began last month.
They are as follows:
Aberdeen
Ashford
Brent Cross
Chichester
Oxford
Peterborough
Reading
Sheffield
Westfield White City
The company has confirmed their Leicester branch will also reopen once lockdown measures in the city are lifted.
Sexual pleasure is about more than just penetration (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Many of us think that sex means penis in vagina, penetration action.
Blame our minimal sex education, the strange definitions around ‘losing’ our virginity (apparently you’re still a virgin even if you’re having amazing oral sex on the reg?), or heteronormative ideas around the magical penis being the be all and end all of sexual pleasure.
But the truth is that for women, penetration really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. According to a 2017 study on sex, only 18% of women said they could regularly reach orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.
Clitoral stimulation, as we know, is far more effective in bringing pleasure, but so are all the ‘other bits’ of sex. The build up, the mental side of things, even the kissing – all that is key to coming.
We asked a bunch of women (of different sexual orientations and relationship statuses) what they think are the best parts of sex… that have nothing to do with penetration.
All names have been changed.
Beatrice, 26
For me it’s the build up, especially with new partners. Like I love the feeling of adrenaline when you kinda know somethings going to happen and you’re really attracted to the person you’re with and then they slowly put their hand on your leg and you just know
Lucy, 23
Just touch in general. Your partner’s hand on your thigh or around your waist is nice.
Charlotte, 24
It has to be nipple stimulation, neck biting anything involving being touched and close to them. Being touched and kissed when I’m in the mood and extra sensitive is amazing.
Dana, 49
Oral works better for me than penetration, specifically licking and (lightly) sucking the clit.
Amber, 30
Oral sex, obviously. And a good snog – truly underrated.
Milly, 23
I’d probably say the bit right at the start when you hold on one smooch a little longer than usual and you’re like, oh, it be on.
Or any moment in between where something awkward and fumbly happens and you laugh through it.
Susie, 27
Honestly I prefer all the ‘other stuff’ over actual penis in vagina penetration. The kissing (especially neck kissing), touching the body, teasing and building up to it.
Plus I like a lot of the light kink side of things, which doesn’t need penetration – spanking, being handcuffed, wearing a gag.
And obviously oral is more likely to get me off than actual penetration.
Woman report being more able to reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Amy, 29
I’m bi and in a relationship with a woman. Most of the sex we have isn’t penetrative – I get off on mutual masturbation (focusing on the clitoris), kissing, touching, using vibrators on the clit.
A lot of it is the stuff people traditionally call ‘foreplay’. That’s all sex to me.
Emily, 36
I really love proper deep kissing – just don’t get to do that so much anymore these days (too busy, a peck on the lips more our go-to)!
My skin being stroked, feeling bare skin on skin.
Also love being ‘fingered’ over everything else. No penetration required.
Charley, 30
Oral and kissing (when it’s done right!).
Lindsay, 32
I would say giving and receiving oral, kissing, intimate touching.
Rebecca, 27
In general: I think it’s knowing that my partner desires me so much that they’re losing control. Ego, much?
More specifically: being held by the neck while he kisses me.
Chloe, 25
I’ve always really enjoyed kissing as it’s more intimate.
Kylie, 33
Ooh. The buildup to it when you’re not quite sure where it may be heading but are pretty certain you’re gonna get shagged.
Oral, obviously.
Seeing the other person lose control because you’re doing some sexual wizardry.
Perhaps you’ve exhausted every possible playlist for your workouts recently.
Well, fear not, Spotify has come up with a brilliant new tool to update your workout mix – keeping your music taste in mind.
The music platform has released a new function called Soundtrack Your Workout, which creates playlists based on the length and style of an exercise session.
Users simply have to fill out a few details and Spotify mixes a tailored playlist based on the answers.
To start, it asks how long the given workout is – with options from 15 minutes to two hours. Then users are required to pick the kind of workout they are doing – be it running, cardio, yoga or something else – and state who they are working out with.
Afterwards, there’s the option to pick a ‘mood’ (some of these include ‘motivation’, ‘get moving’ and ‘totally zen’). Finally, users can select up to two of their favourite music genres.
Following that, Spotify syncs with your tastes and music history to curate a personalised playlist.
There’s also an option to pick podcasts.
According to the music streaming platform, the most popular workout podcast globally in the last month has been Mind Pump – a show dedicated to providing health and fitness information.
The top workout song was Roses Remix by SAINt JHN and Imanbek.
Of course, Spotify already has pre-made workout playlists, but the idea behind this new tool is for users to have personalised ones.
Spotify’s trends expert, Shanon Cook, said: ‘Listeners have created more than 800,000 workout playlists in the last 28 days.
‘For those who could use some inspiration, we hope that by offering fresh, personalised workout playlists, we’ll help boost motivation and keep spirits high.’
The big O, but not as you know it (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Although than orgasm shouldn’t be the sole focus of any situation, if both parties do reach climax it always makes for an explosive sexual experience.
There are ways to level up your orgasm, though, and one technique doesn’t include having to buy a sonic sex toy or contort into a position that circus performers can’t even master.
An energy orgasm can be experienced either alone or with a partner, and can involve experiencing climax without even going near your physical erogenous zones.
It’s a full-body experience that’s not just about sexual pleasure, also providing a sense of physical and emotional release from whatever else is going on in your life.
The method is a mixture of meditation and movement that aims to change the way you think about orgasm and feel them in a way that isn’t just through having your genitals stimulated.
Some people describe it as a feeling of pure ecstasy, while others claim it has helped them overcome past sexual trauma, erectile dysfunction, or an inability to orgasm ‘normally’.
Having an energy orgasm can take a lot of practice (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
How to have an energy orgasm
Tantric sex healer, and self-described Sacred Sex Goddess, Sunni Joy, says that the first step to achieving an energy orgasm is to be open to the possibility of having one in the first place.
Open your mind
Sunni says: ‘To achieve an energy orgasm you have to truly “let go” of your mind in such a way that you allow the orgasmic energy to flow through you.
‘Most people only ever allow themselves to experience these feelings during genital stimulation, but once you’re aware of the possibility to connect with this energy without direct physical contact, the opportunity to do so becomes much more achievable.’
Set the mood
While opening your mind allows you to start the process, there are physical things you can do to help things along.
Sunni recommends candles, incense, and meditative music as a way to set the tone externally.
Do get yourself ready internally, Sunni says: ‘Then I start with some deep, cleansing breaths.
‘These breaths feel like wispy, gentle lights moving through my body, and as I focus on each breath, I feel myself becoming lighter. I want to feel the energy moving from my root chakra (located at the base of the spine) through every cell in my body.
‘Then move into circular breathing, leaving no pause between the exhales or inhales.’
Some people prefer to sit in the lotus position to help with energy orgasm (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Think loving thoughts
According to Sunni, this step is critical to achieving an energy orgasm.
‘Think loving thoughts about yourself. It’s likely that you’ll be able to associate these thoughts with different imagery,’ says Sunni.
‘I like to think of cosmic imagery, and appreciate how pleasurable it feels to be one with the stars.’
This soothing and loving imagery will be different for everyone, so try to think about something that fills you with good feelings.
Sunni continues: ‘It feels like a smooth transition to move from these loving thoughts into sexy thoughts.
‘Think of things that turn you on. Allow yourself to become one with the vibration of the music. Open your mind fully and become one with universal creation and love.’
Prepare your body
In many situations, you’ll be laying down to have an orgasm. However, to have an energy orgasm some people find that the lotus position gives you a better grounding and allows energy to move through your body better.
Follow the rhythm of your breathing and let your spine undulate in a comfortable, wavelike motion, allowing pleasure and energy to spread upward from your genitals throughout your entire body.
‘I will often turn my hands so that my palms are facing the ceiling, and extend them outward to activate and feel my own, as well as Universal energy, pulsing throughout my palms and fingertips.; says Sunni Joy.
‘Then I move the energy through all of my chakras by moving my hands in a spiralling motion from my head down to my genitals. Remember, it’s important to personalise these movements and positions to find out what works best for you.’
Thinking of loving images helps get your headspace right (Picture: Ella Byworth)
Give yourself space to feel
As you tap into your energy and bring yourself to orgasm mentally, you might experience some of the same outward things that you would during a ‘standard’ orgasm.
You may writhe or wriggle or make sounds throughout this process, so you have to ensure you’re in a comfortable place for this to happen.
Try also not to get frustrated if you find an energy orgasm doesn’t happen automatically, as it’s something that takes practice and time.
Sunni Joy says: ‘Don’t give up if you do this once or twice and don’t feel as though you’ve mastered it – you would be expecting way too much of yourself.
‘Take your time to play around with your positions and motions and allow yourself to explore your own mind. Set aside 10 to 20 minutes a day, or every few days, to just practice and see where it takes you.’
Both men and women can achieve energy orgasms if they commit themselves to regular practice of the movement and relaxation – as well as being open to letting it happen.
You may have heard of celebrities or TV personalities who have tried similar tantric sex practices and have found themselves able to orgasm purely through thought and meditation.
But it’s nowhere near reserved for these people.
As Sunni Joy puts it, ‘Energy orgasms can leave you with a sense of arousal that can enrich other areas of your life.
‘In this state of arousal, we can bask in our awakened senses and truly embrace the wonders of the natural world and our connection to it. In this heightened state, we begin to attract connections to fulfil the desires of our heart.
‘We can expand our intuition and begin to trust more in our own inner-wisdom. Ideas come to life. In this open state, we can think and affirm things into existence.’
It may sound strange, but if you consider how much a traditional orgasm can clear your mind and make your body feel better, starting your orgasm from the mind has a power all its own.
If the news is a pantomime, then this week’s loudest ‘boo’ goes to Boohoo, as what once sounded like a fun, ironic name for a brand has become a grimly self-fulfilling prophecy.
First, a report by campaign group Labour Behind the Label put the fast fashion giant at the centre of Leicester’s Covid-19 outbreak, revealing that factories used by the company had stayed open throughout lockdown.
Then Boohoo faced allegations of ‘modern slavery’, when an undercover investigation found workers making clothes were being paid as little as £3.50 an hour, less than half the legal minimum wage.
In two days, the formerly £5bn business has haemorrhaged over £1.5bn of its value.
But while Boohoo’s long-term loss remains to be seen, there’s another question: what do its competitors stand to gain? Like dobbing in your naughtiest friend to save yourself from detention, the pointed fingers smack of defensiveness and deflection.
Yes, I support retailers in ending or suspending their relationship with Boohoo. But no, I will not applaud their actions.
As a fashion writer and long-time fashion lover, I know the lure of a new outfit as well as anyone. In my time, I’ve used shopping as a balm for every feeling from anxiety to boredom, happiness to hunger. But in recent years, the true cost of those pick-me-up clothes, to the planet and to people, has become much harder to ignore.
Like so many reformed fast fashion shoppers, I’ve understood for a while now that you can’t make a brand new £5 dress without somebody, somewhere, paying the price.
Why did it take front-page headlines and a global pandemic to finally prod them into action?
The terrible conditions in the UK’s own fashion industry have been public knowledge for years. In 2015, an investigation by the University of Leicester found that the majority of the city’s 11,700 garment workers were paid below national minimum wage.
In 2017, two further investigations found factories for River Island, New Look, Missguided and, yes, Boohoo, paying workers as little as £3 per hour. Where was the outrage then?
If these companies take their ethical responsibilities so seriously, why did it take front-page headlines and a global pandemic to finally prod them into action?
We might also ask why it is only exploitation on our own doorstep that earns this kind of response. Criminally overworked, underpaid and unprotected, the reality of life for garment workers in some of the world’s poorest countries is not a secret.
Seven years have passed and despite the incredible efforts of organisations like Labour Behind the Label, which campaigns for garment workers’ rights to fair pay and conditions, we’ve kept on buying fast fashion.
Companies like Boohoo have been allowed to flourish into billion-pound empires in a culture that values our desire to have the latest £20 trend item over the rights of millions of workers. Excuse me, not ‘workers’. People.
‘We expect our partners to apply similar fundamental priorities and will distance ourselves from those who don’t,’ read a statement from Zalando, who also dropped Boohoo from its website this week. Yet ‘distance’ is part of the problem.
Distance is why we’re appalled at modern slavery occurring in Leicester, but not Bangladesh. And it’s all too easy for other retailers to take a few performative steps away from the worst culprits. It would be far braver to stand up and recognise the part they themselves play in a greedy, global machine.
Of the businesses linked to the Rana Plaza collapse, many argued that they had no idea their clothes were being produced in unsafe factories. And of course, that’s the problem. You can’t fix what you don’t know is happening.
Under immense pressure to make clothes faster and cheaper, it has become commonplace to outsource orders to other, often unaudited, factories in developing countries, and turn a blind eye. Not just for the cheapest brands, either – some mid-range and high-end designer names have also been accused of being non-compliant with the Modern Slavery Act.
There’s more than a little snobbery tied-up in Boohoo gate (Picture: Ben Stanstall / AFP via Getty)
There’s more than a little snobbery tied up in Boohoo-gate. It’s easy for people to dismiss a brand that caters predominantly to young, working class Love Island fans as evil and unethical, while ignoring the unanswered questions in their own wardrobes.
This is why the rallying cry of Fashion Revolution, another campaigning group, has been focused on transparency – to end the secretive pass-the-parcel approach to outsourced labour, and force companies to unpack the truth about where their products are made, who by, and for how much.
Consumers deserve to know the full picture, however ugly. We need to ask #WhoMadeMyClothes, and keep asking until we get a good answer.
True, there are different levels of hypocrisy at play here. ASOS has boosted its ethical credentials substantially in recent years, boasting more sustainable and eco-friendly fabrics, impressive reductions in carbon emissions, numerous corporate social responsibility commitments and a full list of its supplier factories published online. The Good On You directory rates their efforts ‘It’s a start’.
But let’s not forget, 500 employees at its Yorkshire warehouse staged a walkout on 27 March, in protest to unsafe conditions. And while ASOS might be making big strides to do better, we can’t ignore the role brands like this have played in working up our appetite for cheap, speedy fashion in the first place.
While its factories still churn out clothes at the sheer pace and volume it does, it’s hard to see how it will ever truly be ethical.
Very.co.uk, which also issued a Boohoo veto, doesn’t have any kind of ethical declaration available on its main customer website. Next fares better, with a lengthy modern slavery statement.
It shouldn’t be up to consumers, or journalists, to police a company’s conduct – but here we are
The retailer told one broadsheet that its approach to the Boohoo revelations would be ‘based on trust’. What that means, if anything, is unclear – but you don’t have to be a business mogul to know it’s better to have an approach based on facts.
Besides, what about the trust relationship shoppers have with the brands we buy from?
When we spend our hard-earned cash with a company, we enter into a form of implicit agreement with a company. We expect that they will provide the goods and services as advertised, and do it honourably – or at least, as a bare minimum, not illegally.
It shouldn’t be up to consumers, or journalists, to police a company’s conduct –but here we are.
There is barely room here to get into the hypocrisy of Amazon – whose ethical conduct has been called into question so many times there’s a Wikipedia page devoted to it – attempting to claim a spot on the moral high ground. Just last November, 600 employees signed a petition calling for improvements in warehouses due to unsafe conditions.
But then, I still use my boyfriend’s Prime video account. I’m a hypocrite too.
And there’s the rub; hypocrisy is often an unavoidable stage on the way to real progress. Guilty though I feel about my problematic habits (I’m not a vegan yet either, before you ask), we don’t have time to wait for perfection before we let people join the fight.
We can’t expect huge conglomerates to change all their spots overnight, much as we’d love them to try. And infuriating though it may be to see fast fashion giants trying to join the ranks of the good guys, the truth is it’s still better than the alternative: more feigned ignorance, more evasiveness, and more exploitation going unchecked.
It’s vital these brands use Boohoo’s exposure as a prompt to confront their own culpability, and keep working. Right now, all eyes should be on ASOS, Next, et al. If they’re serious about untangling messy supply chains and encouraging others to do the same, then good.
If, however, by distancing themselves from the enemy du jour they’re hoping to sit back and bask in the warm glow of positive PR? The message from ethical shoppers is loud and clear: not on our watch.
To tighten the mask, all you need to do is fold it in half, and tie a knot with the ear loops, as close to the mask as you can get it.
Then you open up the mask. You’ll see a small gap on both sides near to the knot but tuck that in to secure a more comfortable fit.
And that’s all there is to it.
Dr. Cui’s followers attested to the trick, saying it worked for them.
One person wrote: ‘I did this last week! I have a small face and once I did this it stopped riding up into my eyeballs!’
‘This was helpful,’ commented another.
One person asked which way is the correct way to wear the mask.
Dr. Cui responded: ‘The colour can be confusing sometimes. However, an easy way to know is looking at the ear loops, they should be attached to the outer side.’
The home before and after its transformation (Picture: Jam Press)
When Cat Ridley, a 44-year-old mum of four from Hastings, East Sussex, got tired of her dull family home, she decided to go hard on the makeover.
Rather than just a lick of paint or some new accessories, Cat went the whole hog, transforming her home into a bright pink Beverly Hills hotel inspired paradise, complete with all pink furniture, neon lights, and a disco ball in her shower.
The DIY project was more than superficial – Cat had to knock down several walls to create an open plan kitchen and add a new extension to the back of her home.
The pink-loving mum took inspiration from the design of Beverly Hills hotels as well as the all-pink interiors of London’s Sketch restaurant, spending a total of £20,000 on the makeover.
Cat said: ‘I’ve always loved Art Deco and the Beverly Hills hotel; in fact, I did a leaf print on pink decoration before anyone else.
From the outside, you wouldn’t guess that there’s a pink paradise inside (Picture: Jam Press)
But once you reach the front door, you get a better sense of what’s inside (Picture: Jam Press)
‘I’m still going over things and my styles are always evolving, but my go-to would be art deco.
‘I’ve drawn inspiration from a restaurant in Amsterdam called Mumma Kelly’s and a restaurant in London called Sketch.
‘I would describe my style as my own, I like to have my stamp I tend not to follow suit.
The living room’s transformation started with a pink chair (Picture: Jam Press)
Palms and animal print are important parts of the aesthetic (Picture: Jam Press)
‘I started with purchasing a pink chair, similar to the one I saw at London’s Sketch restaurant and my dream was to get something that looked the same.
‘I took around two years to renovate my house from top to bottom.
Along with all the pink, there’s plenty of neon (Picture: Jam Press)
The kitchen, with more pink (Picture: Jam Press)
Yep, there’s a mini bar too (Picture: Jam Press)
‘We knocked through three rooms including the dining room, kitchen and bathroom and in total that cost about £20K, including a new extension which incorporated the new downstairs bathroom and bedroom and a cupboard.
‘I bought a lot of my stuff from home sense and online mainly eBay.
‘I managed to bring the costs of the internal doors down and had them fitted for about £60.’
Cat worked hard to keep costs down, making adjustments to save money where she could.
One of the bedrooms, complete with more palm print (Picture: Jam Press)
More pink, more neon (Picture: Jam Press)
‘I managed to save the most with my kitchen,’ she said. ‘I wanted to install 26 cupboards but realised I only needed six, which brought down my cost to £900.
‘I then added a breakfast island with a whole new oven sink that cost less than £2,000.
‘For my funky downstairs bathroom, I sourced a lot of things very cheaply.
‘The sink unit cost me £20 from a charity shop and the black toilet sink only cost me £12.
‘I struggled to find a colourful toilet so I decided to buy a brand-new one and sprayed it black – so far it’s still staying strong.
Look at that bathroom! (Picture: Jam Press)
Yep, the tiles are pink… and there’s a disco ball in the shower (Picture: Jam Press)
‘I think my biggest expense was the pink carpet in my daughters’ room as I struggled to get the right pink so that was probably the only thing, I invested in.
‘One thing that was important to me was the guest bathroom.
‘I wanted to create a ‘wow’ factor, something that was different, quirky and fun hence the disco ball in the shower and that weird flooring.
‘And my neon signs definitely raised a few eyebrows.’
The end result might not be for everyone, but it’s pretty impressive regardless.
Have you completed a DIY project that needs showing off? Or do you live in an unconventional property?
The experts answer a reader’s dilemma in this week’s sex column from Lisa Scott (Picture: Neil Webb)
I’ve known my on-off boyfriend for years although I liked him long before. It was always casual and on his terms. Eventually I took some work abroad but when I returned six months later we fell straight back into the same pattern.
I promised myself I would be tougher but I didn’t know how. Things slowly died out, and I cried and raged and vowed to move on. Then he told me he would make more of an effort.
He came to my birthday and I eventually met his mum. We talk more. He listens more. But I’m still feeling so anxious and insecure. What can I do?
You can’t simply build a relationship on the strength of your own feelings.
‘Love is not something you pour into the space between you and someone else,’ says James McConnachie. ‘If you try that you’ll never stop pouring and, as I see it, you’re already saying he doesn’t value or respect you.’
Whether or not he listens more isn’t the point — he clearly isn’t listening enough.
‘It’s as if you’re in some sort of relationship boot camp, with every turn demanding more work from you, more adjustment and more tolerance of uncertainty and pain,’ says Dr Angharad Rudkin.
So have you asked yourself why you’re with him?
‘Do you think of him as someone who can genuinely make you happy or is it that you’ve always had feelings for him and haven’t revised the situation as it’s evolved?’ she asks.
What are your relationship expectations?
Perhaps it’s that you’re prepared to settle for so little because your expectations of loving relationships are so low.
‘When I think about people who have such low opinions of what they’re worth, I question what patterns were laid down in their childhood. Were there dependable adults in your life who gave you what you needed, both emotionally and materially, or did they teach you to be grateful for little scraps of attention?’
What also strikes us is how your boyfriend appears to be fine with his dismissive treatment of you, suggesting he is also cemented in an unhealthy pattern.
‘Is he someone who knows himself and cares for others?’ asks Rudkin. ‘Is he a good friend? Does he look after his family? Is he committed to work? Or is he someone who always goes along with the easiest option?’
Smith suggests talking to a therapist about your relational expectations.
‘You might be surprised at how you can change,’ he says.
Tolerating a lack of commitment can seem bearable on a superficial level but even casual flings can erode our self-confidence and trust.
‘We must always review the impact another is having on how we consider ourselves,’ says Rudkin. ‘No one deserves to be another’s easy option.’
The experts:
Dr Angharad Rudkin is a clinical psychologist
James McConnachie is the author of Sex (Rough Guides)
Rupert Smith is the author of Interlude (Turnaround)
I realised there were only five children in her class being sent back by their parents and a lump rose in my throat (Picture: Sally Windsor)
Just over three weeks ago, I lovingly got Mabel’s little blue school cardigan out of the wardrobe and gave it a fresh wash. The next day, I waved my four-year-old daughter off to school for the first time since lockdown began.
She’s in reception and it was all a bit strange watching her go back after so long being off. Mabel was in a minority too, as many of her classmates were still being kept home.
As I approached the school gates, I saw that the haggard-looking bunch of parents lining up (social distancing observed) all wore the same expression: guilt.
We walked in silence through the gate. Even the kids talked in hushed tones – then I realised there were only five children in her classbeing sent back by their parents.
We were the few who had decided to take that risk. So why didn’t I feel guilty at all?
My guilt came flooding in a few days later,but it was more about my lack of empathy; the feeling of no guilt. I needed this.
The thing is, my older daughter Ruby, aged 12, is in one of the years not being invited back before the summer holidays, so she won’t be in school now until September.
She’s hanging in there, missing her friends and finding homeschooling quite hard to concentrate on. She’s had a lot on her mind too.
My 12-year-old daughter, Ruby, lost her father, James Mills, in March – just before lockdown (Picture: Sally Windsor)
Her dad James – who I’d split from but lived with as best friends – passed away in March after sudden heart failure.
It was a huge heartbreaking shock for everyone. As it happened at the beginning of quarantine the funeral was for eight people only, along with all the other limitations that went along with that.
So to say Ruby hasn’t had the easiest time is an understatement and it felt like quite a bind sending Mabel back to school – to some sort of semblance of routine and to her friends – but not her.
Even though I feel protective over Ruby, if she was in the years that were going back to school I’d send her back in a heartbeat too.
Why? I’m exhausted, I’m fed-up and I’m grieving. I am working from home as a freelance writer and PR and I’m feeling the strain. I’m also punching my way out of a corner and fighting back, trying to get in the right mind-frame by getting enough sleep and throwing myself back into work.
But I can’t do that without space and quite frankly – a bit of a break.
I’m Ruby’s lone parent now and that’s taking quite a reluctant adjustment. Initially, in the first term after lockdown was instigated, I didn’t cope at all. I was a mess and I missed James like mad. Understandably, Ruby didn’t want to lift a finger to do any work – and I didn’t have the strength or will to make her.
The next term was different. I enlisted the help of her aunt and uncle, Sophie and Dave, who run their own catering business to ring Ruby every day and sort out what subjects she should study. It was a Godsend, and has been ever since.
Me and Ruby, who is still at home while my youngest daughter, Mabel, is back at school (Picture: Sally Windsor)
But I still needed more respite. Praying that your four-year-old doesn’t want a glass of apple juice or have a general complaint about her toe isn’t really the thing you want to be doing mid-Zoom call.
So Mabel going back to school was a little light at the end of the very dark tunnel we had found ourselves in.
But not all parents thought the same – in fact, my Facebook feed was full of vitriolic mums who wouldn’t dream of exposing their little darlings to any prospective nasty germs.
I kept schtum online. What did they bloody know about other peoples’ lives?
Sending my tiny girl back into a so-called ‘death trap’ was something I couldn’t wait to do, whilst the other one stayed at home. By then, my older daughter was making her own timetable and wearing what she wanted to every day – a stark contrast to Mabel’s new routine.
And while it is lovely to have more time with Ruby at such a horrendous time, I still need to make sure she’s set for the day before I can even think about what’s on my to do list.
Juggling homeschooling, working from home and parenting alone in isolation has been one of the hardest times of my life. I don’t ever want to repeat this feeling. But I’ve done it – and I have to feel a sense of accomplishment about that.
It’s been nearly a month since Mabel walked through the gates and I know I made the right decision for us all.
We’re back into a routine that we didn’t realise we missed so much and my head is better than it was.
I know for sure that there are other parents out there that needed this too. Maybe they’re sending one child back but not another. The point here is this: Who are we to judge how one parent has coped with this lockdown than another?
I needed my child to go back to school so that I could survive better. Is that the most selfish, or most noble of acts? Either way, I refuse to feel guilty about it.
An easy way to up your partner’s please? Oral sex. Or eating out. To help out. Is everyone getting this tenuous connection?
To up your oral sex skills and get more of us eating out to help out, we’ve asked experts for their essential cunnilingus tips. Try these.
Build up to clitoral action
Sounds obvious, but don’t dive straight down to licking the clit with no action beforehand.
Teasing what’s to come can be a massive turn-on. Kiss and gently touch the inner thighs, kiss your way down their body, and build up the desire until your partner is fully turned on before you get into the actual oral sex bit.
Play with positions
When you think of going down on your partner, you’re likely think of one samey position. Perhaps them lying back on the bed, knees bent, with your head between their legs.
Mix it up! There are loads of different ways to go down, many of which can enhance pleasure.
Come at it from behind, with them on all fours, or try positioning your partner on the side of the bed with you kneeling on the ground.
‘Every single set of genitals are different, with different sensitive spots and pleasure zones, which vary from person to person,’ says Lovehoney sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight.
‘Cunnilingus doesn’t have to be static. In fact, the more positions you try the more likely you are to find one that works especially well for you and your partner.
‘Switching positions, just like you do during sex, increases your chances of discovering that perfect combination and ups the pleasure factor.’
Use your hands
Don’t strain your neck and give yourself a tongue cramp trying to do everything with your mouth.
Get your fingers involved – insert your fingers and do a come hither motion to stimulate the G-spot as you lick the clit, or simply spread the labia apart to more easily access the area.
Go under the hood
‘Many women prefer to have their clitoral hood licked,’ says Annabelle. ‘This is a fold of skin that covers the actual glans of the cilitoris and which is extremely sensitive.’
Don’t be scared. Gently slide back the hood, lick it, and lick the clit directly. Just be slow and gentle. No rapidfire DJ-ing motions or aggressive biting, please (unless your partner has said this is what they like).
Try different tongue techniques (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Comfort is key
One thing that often holds people back from experiencing pleasure when receiving oral is feeling self-conscious about the way they smell, taste, or look.
Annabelle recommends a romantic bath or shower before starting oral to relieve those worries – but remember that your vagina isn’t supposed to smell of roses and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Flavoured lubricants can also help to tackle any insecurities about taste and smell.
Ask your partner what they like
You know who’s likely an expert on what your sex buddy enjoys? Your sex buddy.
As we’ve said, everyone’s different, and while the tips in this piece should work to improve your oral sex game, the best way to get your partner off is by checking in to see if there are specific things that drive them wild.
Showing, rather than telling, can work brilliantly – and be pretty hot.
Let them take control
Being on the receiving end of oral can feel a bit passive, but there’s no need for your partner to just lie back and put up with something that’s not working.
Encourage them to guide you.
‘Being in control of your own pleasure is hugely erotic and can be a massive turn on, not just for you, but for your partner as well,’ says Annabelle. ‘This includes adding to your pleasure by self stimulation of any of your other erogenous zones.’
Explore your tongue technique
Please, please, don’t stick rigidly to one technique you read online. Especially the one about drawing the alphabet with your tongue. Yes, we can tell that’s what you’re doing, and it’s deeply distracting.
Switch things up and try different methods. Go up and down, side to side, in slow circles, do light sucking. Try using just the tip of your tongue then laying your tongue flat and doing broader licks.
Different people like different rhythms and motions. Try different ones out and tune into how your partner is responding to.
And please, if they say ‘don’t stop’ or ‘keep going’, don’t suddenly pause or change up to another motion. Keep doing exactly what you’re doing.
Set the scene
So much of sexual pleasure is down to the mental, not the physical. Relaxation is key, so make sure your oral sex sesh is at a time when neither of you are feeling stressed out, exhausted, or under time pressure – whether that’s because they have other things to be doing or they’re trying to rush through it so they can get some sleep.
Use toys
There should be no shame in bringing in a helping hand to bring your partner pleasure.
Annabelle says: ‘Don’t be afraid to use toys – cunnilingus is all about providing as much pleasure as possible and sometimes a helping hand from a sex toy can be just what the doctor ordered.
‘I’d recommend petite and discreet toys that are easy to manoeuvre, for example the Lovehoney Dream Bullet. Or, why not experiment with temperature play with a Glass Dildo? Put the dildo in the fridge for 20 minutes before you start – the tingle from its cold temperature can heighten the senses and add extra stimulation to cunnilingus.’
Pay attention to feedback
It’s worth asking your partner directly what works for them, but there are other cues you can take to know if something is doing the trick.
Pay attention to how much your partner is moaning, how they’re breathing, and if they’re tilting their hips towards you or using their hands to keep you steady. These are all signs they’re liking what you’re doing.
Go slow and stay tuned in for feedback (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Go deeper (mentally)
Get to know how both you and your partner experience desire and pleasure.
Roleplaying might do the trick or just feeling desired. The mental and emotional side of things is hugely important and shouldn’t be overlooked for the sake of physical techniques.
Dr Anna Hushlak, the co-founder of Ferly, says: ‘We’ve been taught that sex is about ‘doing it’ rather than taking the time to understand how we feel about it.
‘However, for most womxn desire is stimulated by our minds and then felt in our bodies. This is known as responsive desire.’
Anna recommends using MBCT (mindfulness-based cognitive therapy) to allow you and your partner to explore your relationships to love and sex alone before you head to the bedroom.
Explore erogenous zones
Dr Hushlak also recommends body mapping, either solo or during a partner during oral sex.
This is exploring different erogenous zones and seeing what works.
Try touching different parts of the body, such as the inner thigh, as you go down.
Go further down
Check with your partner beforehand if they’re interested in anal play. If they are, light licking of the perineum and the outer rim of the anus can feel incredible – just make sure you never go from the butt back to the vagina so you don’t mingle bacteria.
Feast your eyes on these quirky dishes (Picture:@ratemycraving/Metro.co.uk)
We’ve all got our favourite unusual snack – some weird, some wonderful.
Well, a new Instagram account is asking people to submit their bizarre food combinations, so it can post a verdict on the quirky plates.
Ken D (he’d like to keep his last name secret, for the mystery) is not only the brains behind the inventive Instagram account, he’s also the person responsible for trying and rating the submitted snacks.
The 28-year-old from London set up Rate My Craving after seeing a list of unusual food favourites online.
He was inspired to create some of the lesser-known snacks – but was keen to showcase them in a Michelin-worthy manner.
This is a key takeaway from the Instagram account – the stunning aesthetic of the (sometimes) less-than-appetising plates.
Orange slices and an Oxo cube – because why not? (Picture: @ratemycraving)
Prawns and chocolate received a 6/10 (Picture: @ratemycraving)
Ken, who works in advertising, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘I thought it would be quite funny to do them all up properly and make them look good – so there was this contrast that the food might not taste great, but looks quite good.’
He started by asking friends to submit their unusual food combinations for him to try. Soon the page grew and members of the public started sharing their guilty pleasures.
Since launching Rate My Craving back in April, Ken has ploughed through some truly extraordinary plates – some pleasant, some less so.
Standout dishes include tomato soup with Hula Hoops (ranked 9/10), crab sticks and crunchy peanut butter (2/10) and Digestive biscuits and mayonnaise (2/10).
Hula Hoops and tomato soup (Picture: @ratemycraving)
Milk and pasta was a 4/10 (Picture: @ratemycraving)
Ken says: ‘Coco Pops on ice cream is pretty good and the Frazzles on Super Noodles is also good.
‘It’s been a pretty good reaction so far. I think people just like seeing me trying weird stuff.’
Ken really disliked the tomato ketchup and ice cream one (Picture: @ratemycraving)
While there are a plethora of interesting combinations, Ken says similar ones tend to crop up.
He says: ‘Some people like the same stuff, which is quite interesting. A few people send me the same things – like peanut butter comes up a lot and marmite, too.
‘Mostly different types of crisps and chocolate – like Pringles, Dairy Milk, Kit Kats and Walkers – people seem to like them.’
Crisps and chocolate combos are popular (Picture: @ratemycraving)
In terms of future plans, Ken thinks Rate My Craving could work as a pop-up.
He says: ‘It would be quite funny to do a pop-up restaurant. If it gets big enough, a pop-up mini restaurant and you order through an app.
‘I think it would be quite funny, but I don’t know how yet.’
Anyone looking to get involved can message Rate My Craving on Instagram, for a chance of appearing on the page.
Ella Cassidy has been living with mum Amy and dad David for the past four years despite the parents no longer being together.
The couple, who have been separated for 15 years, decided to move in together to make it easier to jointly raise their daughter.
The 17-year-old, who is currently studying for her A-Levels, was two when her mum and dad decided to part ways.
But for Ella’s happiness and wellbeing, mum Amy decided to buy a new place and ask David to move in to the spare bedroom.
Now, Amy and David have separate rooms, separate fridges, ovens, and cupboards to store all their goods.
And David isn’t allowed to use any of Amy’s things.
Though unusual, the set-up works for the family who are now accustomed to living together.
Ella has been living with her mum and dad for four years (Picture: Ella Cassidy)
Ella created a TikTok documenting how her parents manage to live in the same household while being separated.
The video has been watched by almost a million people.
We spoke to Ella, who told Metro.co.uk: ‘My parents separated when I was two years old.
‘My mum bought this house around four years ago with the intention of my dad moving in, he rents out the spare bedroom.
‘It’s what works best for us, I get to live with both of my parents and they get on well.’
David’s microwave oven (Picture: Ella Cassidy)
Amy’s oven (Picture: Ella Cassidy)
Ella says that both parents are currently single and the set-up works as it would in any other flat share.
She adds: ‘My mum has a big American style fridge freezer she uses and then there’s a smaller fridge freezer that my dad uses, however, my mum uses some of that space for her things.
‘My dad also has one cupboard in the kitchen but that’s really all he needs, he has a mini plug-in oven which is separate from the main oven as he has a tendency to fall asleep while stuff is in the main oven. I think his little one has a timer.’
Amy’s fridge (Picture: Ella Cassidy)
David’s fridge freezer (Picture: Ella Cassidy)
Ella says the situation is a blessing as she can spend time with both parents.
She says: ‘Neither of them have had a new partner since we’ve lived together.
‘I think it works really well, a lot of people think it’s weird however if it wasn’t like this I’d have to spend less time with one parent.
‘This is the sort of time where you need stability and both parents around you so overall I think it’s worked out well.’
An apple a day might not keep the doctor away, but it’s still a good shout (Picture: Getty Images)
That whole ‘an apple a day to keep the doctor away’ saying is mostly nonsense.
No matter how many apples you eat, you’ll likely still need to go to the doctor at some point in your life, whether that’s for routine contraception, general checkups, or to deal with all the physical and mental issues that aren’t fixed by a nice Granny Smith.
There is a teeny bit of truth in there, though, as we know that eating plenty of fruit and veg does us a world of good.
The latest bit of research into the benefits of eating our five a day suggests that even just one apple a day could lower your risk of developing type 2 diabetes.
Two papers, published in the British Medical Journal, found that even a small increase in the amounts of fruit, vegetables, and whole grains you eat could help to prevent diabetes.
In the first study, researchers examined blood levels of vitamin C and carotenoids (both in certain fruit and veg), comparing 9,745 people with type 2 diabetes to a group of 13,662 people without the condition.
They found that those with the highest blood levels of these two nutrients – indicating that they had the highest intakes of fruit and vegetables – had up to a 50% reduced risk of diabetes compared to those with the lowest intakes.
Those in the group ranked as the lowest intake typically ate 274g of fruit and veg a day, while those in the highest group ate 508g a day, and saw the highest benefit.
A single large apple weighs around 250g – so if you already ate one apple a day, and added another one on top of it, you’d take yourself into that group with the largest reduced risk of developing diabetes.
But researchers say that even those who ate less than 508g per day could lower their risk of diabetes by eating modest amounts more fruit and veg than what they were already doing.
They calculated that every 66g per day increase in total fruit and vegetable intake was associated with a 25% lower risk of developing type 2 diabetes.
66g – that’s less than even a small apple. Easy.
While you’re adding apples (or other fruit, you’re really not limited to just the fruit from the famous saying) to your diet, it’s worth adding some grains, too.
Load up on healthy grains (Picture: Getty Images)
The second study saw researchers looking at whole grain intake and the risk of type 2 diabetes, analysing data from 158,259 women and 36,525 men.
After adjusting for lifestyle and dietary risk factors for diabetes, those with the highest intake of whole grains had a 29% lower rate of Type 2 diabetes compared with those who ate the least.
For individual whole grain foods, the researchers found that consuming one or more servings a day of whole grain cold breakfast cereal or dark bread was associated with a lower risk of Type 2 diabetes (19% and 21% respectively) compared with consuming less than one serving a month.
Eating two or more servings a week – when compared with less than one serving a month – was associated with a 21% lower risk for oatmeal, a 15% lower risk for added bran, and a 12% lower risk for brown rice and wheat germ.
The reduced risk associated with grain intake stayed true even when other factors, such as exercise and family history, were included.
Emma Elvin, senior clinical adviser at Diabetes UK, said: ‘While there are some risk factors for Type 2 diabetes you can’t change such as your age, ethnic background and family history, we know that around three in five cases can be prevented or delayed by making lifestyle changes such as adopting healthier eating habits, increasing activity levels and getting support to manage a healthy weight.
‘These new research findings provide yet more evidence that eating plenty of fruit and vegetables, and choosing wholegrain foods, such as wholegrain breakfast cereals, oats, brown rice and wholemeal bread, is associated with a reduced risk of developing Type 2 diabetes.
‘Even more encouraging, these studies show that it can take fairly small increases in consumption of such foods for them to be beneficial and to help reduce the risk.
‘The 12.3 million people at increased risk of developing Type 2 diabetes in the UK should absolutely be supported to manage a healthy weight, get regular physical activity and eat healthy foods to help them reduce their risk of developing a condition that can sometimes have devastating consequences for those living with it.’
However, with multiple people sharing equipment every hour and lots of heavy breathing and perspiration, gyms are a hotbed for germs and bacteria.
It’s the very reason they were forced to close back in March – to limit the spread of coronavirus.
To tackle this problem, it’s been made clear that gyms will have to implement a number of measures to protect both staff and members when they reopen. Some of these are likely to include the use of perspex screens and equipment being placed 2 metres apart.
But what steps can gym-goers take to stop the spread of coronavirus?
Babylon Health’s Dr Claudia tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Try and go at a time when the gym is less busy, so you come in contact with as few people as possible.’
The less people you encounter at the gym, the less likely you’ll come into contact with the virus.
If a gym is packed full of members, it’s worth coming back another day.
Give extra space
Gyms are pretty high-risk venues, due to the fact that people are more likely to spread their germs through the air.
Abbas Kanani, a pharmacist at Chemist Click, says: ‘Although the rule is 1 metre, you have to remember that people are puffing and panting more vigorously than usual, so there is an increased likelihood of expelling saliva at a forceful rate.’
Be mindful of this and give people extra room.
Don’t use water fountains
Communal fountains are a huge no-no.
Abbas Kanani says: ‘Do not use communal water fountains that expel water from the bottom up.
‘Some people make mouth-to-nozzle contact with water dispensers and there is a chance that your water can contain remnants of another person’s saliva.’
Take your own water bottle to your workout or (if you’re likely to drink a lot in one session) bring two if necessary.
Sanitise regularly
Marco Coppola, group health and fitness manager at Better, says: ‘Gym-goers should make sure they sanitise their hands before and after using gym equipment and wipe down the equipment before and after use, with the cleaning materials that will be provided.
‘It’s really important that no-one shares equipment with a friend or workout buddy.’
Bring your own equipment
A great way to stop cross-contamination is to simply bring your own equipment to the gym.
Obviously, we’re not talking about large pieces, but smaller items – such as weights, yoga mats and resistance bands – which can be transported easily.
This also includes a personal water bottle and a towel.
Wash your clothes and gym bag when you get home
With changing rooms likely to remain closed, it’s vital to shower and wash your gym clothes as soon as you get home – to avoid contaminating any surfaces.
Dr Simran Deo, from Zava UK, says: ‘It’s also important to keep your gym bag clean, to prevent carrying and spreading COVID-19.
‘Make sure to wash your clothes after every visit and give any reusable water bottles a thorough wash after each use, to kill any infection living on surfaces.’
Don’t use the sauna and steam room
It’s highly unlikely that such facilities will be open but, if they are, it’s best to avoid them all together.
Abbas Kanani adds: ‘Saunas and steam rooms are usually small and confined spaces without ventilation where viruses and bacteria can be spread easily from individual to individual’
No spotting or sharing equipment between reps
Social distancing is still very much a part of day-to-day life at the moment – and it’s no different in a gym setting.
As a result, this means some typical gym activities are no longer an option.
Dr Simran Deo says: ‘This might mean spotting is a bit tricky unless you’re at the gym with someone you live with – so only attempt weights that you’re comfortable with.
‘And unfortunately it also means no sharing equipment in between reps too – as this risks passing the virus on through touch.’
Yep, lockdown is even impacting your vagina (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Understandably, we’ve all been worrying about our health during the current pandemic, washing our hands more and trying to get fit to boost our body’s natural defences where possible.
But while we were taking care of the rest of our body, we might have missed out on looking after our vaginas.
Covid-19 itself may not have impacted our vaginal health, but many of the changes we’ve made since lockdown might have.
We spoke to gynaecologist Anne Henderson on behalf of intimate health brand Canesten, to find out how our ‘new normal’ might have had consequences for our intimate health – as well as what to do about it.
Fitness
Particularly at the start of the lockdown, it seemed that all people were doing was working out and running and staying active.
This is great for the mind and body, especially as it was the only reason we were allowed outside to begin with, but you do need to be a little extra vigilant when wearing tight clothes like leggings.
If you don’t wash your workout gear correctly or you use irritating deodorants or soaps down below, it could end up in a case of bacterial vaginosis (BV).
Avoid issues like BV and thrush (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Anne says: ‘Sweating and working out in itself, is not harmful, nor is it likely to cause BV. However, it is the habits that women engage in as a result of this, that may make them more susceptible to BV.
‘If women feel they are sweating more regularly, they may be showering more and using strong soaps and shower gels. Further to this, women may be using stronger detergents when washing their exercising clothing or underwear.
‘Stronger detergents often have alkaline irritants in them, which can transfer to clothing. Therefore, when it comes to wearing knickers and trousers that are of course positioned close to the genitals, this can upset the pH balance in the vaginal area which may contribute to the development of BV.’
Anne recommends using a gentle laundry solution like the Eco Egg (which washes clothes with gentle mineral pellets) to keep your tighter clothes clean without irritation.
What is bacterial vaginosis?
Bacterial vaginosis (BV) is a common condition that can cause unusual discharge.
This discharge may smell ‘fishy’ and can be more prominent after sex, as well as being greyish-white and more watery than usual.
It’s caused by a change in the pH of the vagina and shouldn’t cause you any pain or irritation. It’s also easily treated with antibiotics, but it can cause complications such as susceptibility to chlamydia or gonorrhoea so it’s important to speak to a medical professional if you’re experiencing symptoms.
More frequent sex
The sexual habits of the nation have been something of a mixed bag throughout lockdown, with some people having no sex at all due to social distancing.
More sex is great news, but it can also lead to cystitis or other issues.
Anne explains: ‘Many intimate health conditions can be related to sexual intercourse, whether it’s an indirect or a direct cause. Not a lot of people know that BV and thrush can be passed from partner to partner, or intercourse can be a stimulant for these infections.
‘Sexual intercourse is probably the main trigger for cystitis in women, and it’s very easy to understand anatomically why that would be.
‘Most women will find that it happens around the time of intercourse or 48-72 hours later, and it’s simply a mechanical transfer of the bowel bacteria from the perineum to the bladder. There are precautions you can take to avoid that.’
Just remember to always have a pee after sex, and make sure to empty your bladder as much as you can to prevent cystitis. If it’s persistent even after this, give your GP a call.
What is cystitis?
Cystitis is a common urinary tract infection that causes inflammation of the bladder.
Symptoms include stinging when you pee, more frequent need to pee, dark, cloudy, or strong-smelling urine, lower stomach pain, and feeling achy and tired.
Although cystitis itself isn’t normally serious, if left untreated it can lead to a kidney infection, so it’s important to seek medical advice if things don’t clear up after a few days.
Heavier drinking
Recent YouGov research has found that around 1 in 5 (21%) have been drinking more since lockdown and with pubs re-opening this may only increase.
To add another thing to the list of fun things that want to harm our vaginas, alcohol’s high sugar content is a cause for concern when it comes to our vaginal health – and can cause thrush.
Anne tells us more about the impact of sugar on the vagina: ‘Try and avoid a high sugar diet – refined carbohydrates and sugar are bad for all aspects of health as they raise sugar levels.
‘This is then carried throughout the body which can raise the sugar levels in the vaginal tissues, not just the bloodstream and that is very unhealthy. Thrush in general, more so than BV, really thrives on high sugar levels in the tissues.’
So if you’re noticing more instances of thrush when you drink more, try to cut back.
What is thrush?
According to the NHS: ‘Thrush is a common yeast infection that affects men and women. It’s usually harmless but it can be uncomfortable and keep coming back. It is not classed as a sexually transmitted infection (STI).’
Symptoms of thrush differ depending on where on the body you’re experiencing it, but in vaginal thrush you’ll usually experience:
white vaginal discharge (like cottage cheese) that doesn’t typically smell
itching and irritation around the vagina
soreness and stinging during sex or when you pee
DIY beauty treatments
There’s no inherent problem with waxing or shaving, but if you’ve come round to the DIY way of life when it comes to hair removal, try to take precautions to prevent cellulitis.
This infection of the follicles can make skin red and painful, and will require a course of antibiotics to treat, so it’s better to avoid getting it.
‘That can happen with waxing as well, but it’s particularly common with shaving,’ says Anne.
‘With shaving, you’re actually removing some of the skin surface, hence it can bleed when you shave and can allow infection in and also disrupt the hair follicle itself.
‘My advice would be to not shave the genital area, you can easily cut yourself and get an infection. If women want to remove hair then it must be done by somebody who’s professionally trained in waxing.’
DIY can sadly have consequences (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
If you are intent on shaving, try using an electric trimmer with a guard so you don’t cut yourself.
Or just go for good old hair removal cream (but make sure it’s one suitable for intimate areas) or laser removal if you can.
Over-washing
Hygiene is key – especially in the fight against coronavirus – but when it comes to our vaginas there’s such a thing as ‘too clean’.
Our vaginas have a delicate pH balance, which can be upset with harsh washes and soaps.
Even those ‘designed’ for the area can include fragrances or chemicals that irritate and leave you feeling uncomfortable, with the potential to cause BV and thrush too.
Annecomments: Do as little as possible or in some cases do nothing. Please leave the vagina alone!
‘Over-washing and using harsh cleaning products, and wearing tight clothing can all impact the health of the vagina.
‘My best advice would be to wash the vagina with just water, make sure it’s dry after and try and wear loose underwear.’
If you’re worried that you do have the symptoms of thrush or BV, you can use a product like Canestest to check your pH levels and help you make the decision on whether you head to the GP or pharmacy.
Alternatively, most pharmacies can dispense treatments for these issues over the counter with no need to visit a doctor. Some – like Superdrug – will allow you to order treatments online then go in to collect.
If you dream of trying tiny house living, this cabin might be for you (Picture: The Mountain Refuge)
If you regularly dream of selling all your stuff, quitting your job, and moving somewhere remote and peaceful, you’ll love this cabin.
The Mountain Refuge is a tiny house created by Massimo Gnocchi and Paolo Danesi, that can be set up wherever you please.
With around 25 square metres of space, it’s the perfect dwelling for anyone ready to take on a more minimalist approach to living – although the design is adaptable enough to add in an extra module, taking the space for 37 square metres.
The outside of the tiny home is designed to work with any location.
There’s no need for foundation work, meaning the cabin can be placed on the ground without any poured concrete or a massive overhaul of the natural space.
Where would you place your cabin? (Picture: The Mountain Refuge )
In theory, this means you’ve got freedom to have the home set up wherever you’d feel at home, whether that’s in the middle of rolling countryside hills, by the beach, or in snowy forest.
The angular plywood design stands out wherever you put it, with a large window allowing passersby to look into the cosy interiors.
The interiors are open-plan to make the most of the space (Picture: The Mountain Refuge)
And the interiors are incredible, all smartly designed to be practical and stylish within a small space, with no metre wasted.
Everything about the design can be adapted to the individual, but the prototypes show sleek kitchens with wooden surfaces, a sauna-style bathroom, and a fireplace descending from the ceiling.
The idea of having all those wood elements is to carry through a concept of connecting with nature, bringing in traditional cabin elements in a modern way.
An example of the kitchen (Picture: The Mountain Refuge)
Because of the small area, the interiors are open plan with no walls shutting off different rooms.
‘Our main goal is to be able to deliver the Refuge around the world at competitive prices,’ say Massimo and Paolo. ‘That’s why we are currently discussing partnerships with prefab construction companies.’
So how much will this cabin cost you? Much less than a London flat, to put it lightly.
And the bathroom (Picture: The Mountain Refuge)
The designers estimate that the construction cost is around €40,000-50,000 (around £35,000 to £45,000), not including any of the variables that depend on your preferences and chosen location, such as surveys, service connections, heat and water systems, and interior furnishing.
The company is a startup that’s just getting going, so you can’t just go ahead and place an order for a cabin just yet, but Massimo and Paolo are currently looking for prefab construction companies in the US, Europe, Canada, New Zealand and Australia in the hopes of bringing the tiny homes to a global audience.
If you’ve fallen in love with the concept and want to be updated the moment the cabins become an available option, Massimo and Paolo encourage signing up to their newsletter through the Mountain Refuge website.
If anyone deserves a proper holiday once the coronavirus pandemic is all over, it’s NHS workers.
The people tasked with saving lives and tackling the overwhelming horror of Covid-19 are being thanked for all they’ve done with the offer a free holiday stay in Ibiza next year.
The island’s government is backing an initiative launched by a group of Ibiza-based business owners, that offers all NHS staff free holiday accommodation as a way to say ‘thank you’.
A website for the scheme says that the aim is to find ‘at least 1,000’ accommodation providers in Europe to provide free stays for healthcare staff in 2021.
A statement on the site reads: ‘How can we say thank you to those fighting for the lives of our families, friends and communities? How can we say thank you to those putting their own lives at risk for us?
A new scheme wants to thank healthcare workers on the frontline of coronavirus (Picture: Getty Images)
‘Together we are driving change by celebrating and rewarding those who put our community, family and friends first during the Covid-19 outbreak.
‘Unprecedented times highlight exceptional people. We thank those who we have trusted with our lives, by gifting them our homes and hotels in Ibiza and across Europe.’
The Ibizan government has agreed to back the scheme, with tourism councillor for Ibiza Juan Miguel Costa telling local paper Diario de Ibiza that they aim to ‘compensate those who have looked after us, risking their lives in many cases, and who deserve that we all do our share to make sure they have holidays that meet high expectations’.
60 private properties, as well as rooms in major hotel chains, have already been offered up as one week’s free accommodation in April, May, and October 2021 – outside Ibiza’s peak season.
The scheme offers one week of free accommodation in the island’s off-peak season (Picture: Getty Images)
Some of the hotels that have already offered up rooms include Aguas de Ibiza, OD Hotels, and Concept Hotel Group, whereas private houses on offer include fancy villas with pools and access to the beach.
As there are more healthcare workers than there are available rooms, the scheme plans to work with hospitals to create a fair nomination and selection process, to ensure that those on the Covid-19 frontline are thanked properly.
As we will have more demand for holidays than supply of donated accommodation, the initiative is currently working with the healthcare community and some of the most reputable hospitals in Europe to define a fair and transparent nomination and selection process to reward those fighting on the COVID-19 frontline and assign a holiday to them.
It’s worth noting that this offer covers accommodation, not the initial travel from the UK to Ibiza.
Let’s see if an airline steps up to offer free flights for healthcare workers too.
The shoot lasted roughly half an hour (Picture: Brooke Welch of Steamboat Springs)
When commercial beekeeper Bethany Karulak-Baker decided to have a maternity photoshoot after getting pregnant, it seemed only natural that her job and life might feature as part of it.
However, Bethany decided to do something most people would wince at, staging the shoot so that thousands of bees were sat on her tummy.
And here’s the kicker – she’s also allergic to bees.
38-year-old Bethany lives in Steamboat Springs in Colorado with her husband Perry and children, running a raw honey business called Outlaw Apiaries.
The reasoning behind the shot was certainly not just for shock value or to get a cool picture. In fact, there was a very sad backstory for Bethany and her family.
‘About a year ago, I suffered an extremely traumatic miscarriage,’ Bethany said on Facebook.
‘I was hospitalized, broken hearted, filled with self-blame, and distraught. As we drove away from Yampa Valley Medical Center, after losing our baby, I recall tearing up with the realization that my baby was left alone inside those brick walls; ultimately to be shipped away and examined.’
After falling into a depression and struggling with her mental health, Bethany became pregnant once again. But this time she was gripped with doubt and fear, refusing to even tell loved ones as she was scared she may have another miscarriage.
Then the pandemic hit, adding even more challenges to an already worried and isolated experience. But, Bethany says: ‘There was a massive silver lining to this presumably dark cloud. We, as a family, grew to love and support one another more than I could have ever imagined.’
Bethany and her husband Perry (Picture: Brooke Welch of Steamboat Springs)
Off the back of this, Perry and Bethany decided to challenge themselves with their photoshoot, working with their hives to have them ‘beard’ around her over-eight-months-pregnant stomach.
The allergy issue was the first thing to worry about. Bethany told Metro.co.uk: ‘I have a local reaction which means I get welts that itch and last for up to six weeks. They are extremely annoying but not at all dangerous.’
Bethany was ‘terrified’, but had the shoot approved by doctors beforehand.
As a result, though, the couple decided to use nurse bees, who are more docile and easier to handle.
It’s now around a week until the baby is due (Picture: Brooke Welch of Steamboat Springs)
Finding a photographer was the next hurdle, with the pair taking 10 attempts to find the perfect person, eventually choosing Brooke Welch.
Then there was the logistics. Bethany said: ‘We tethered a queen around my belly while she was in her cage. It is common practice to place queens in cages and doesn’t hurt her whatsoever.
‘Once we tied her around my belly, we had to ensure the temperature was perfect (cloudy and cool) as well as chose to work with nurse bees (who are the most docile).
‘We chose frames filled with nurse bees and removed them from the hive. I held a folder under my belly and we dumped the bees onto my belly and the climbed up from the folder to “beard” around the queen in her cage.
‘They remained there for approximately 30 minutes before I was done with the shoot.’
Around 10,000 bees were shown in the photos on Bethany’s stomach, and she wasn’t stung once.
Bethany’s photographs soon went viral, but thankfully she says ‘the response has been overwhelmingly supportive, kind, and loving.’
She continues: ‘Many women have come forward to share their own experiences suffering a miscarriage. Others have placed orders for honey from our commercial honey business.
‘There are a few people who do not understand bees or beekeeping, so naturally a few negative internet armchair warriors.’
It’s definitely one to remember, and we wish Bethany and her baby (who’s due next week) the best.
