Since lockdown began, experts and the people behind dating apps have wondered exactly how the coronavirus pandemic will change the way we form relationships.

As you might expect, it turns out these strange times have had quite the impact on our love lives.

We’ve been told couples are having less sex in lockdown, covid cuffing and love lockdowners have popped up as new phenomena, and we’re more open to virtual dating as a result of these last few months.

Now, new research from dating app Hinge suggests that our experiences amid Covid-19 have made many of us want to settle down – resulting in the ticking of our ‘dating clock’, that internal beat that tells us it’s time to get into a ‘proper’ relationship.

According to Hinge’s research, months in lockdown have given us the time to reflect on what we want in terms of a potential partner.

Two out of three Hinge users say they want to change the way they date once it’s safe to meet again, 45% reported developing new healthy dating habits during the pandemic, and since March, more than two thirds say they’re thinking more about who they’re really looking for.

Hinge’s director of relationship science, Logan Ury, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘If you hear your dating clock ticking, it’s time to get serious about finding a partner. First, take a moment to reflect on what specifically has been holding you back. Then ask yourself how you can create new healthy habits.’

You’ll know your dating clock is ticking when you’re just not feeling satisfied by superficial conversations and surface-level hookups and situationships that never really get serious.

When you’re dating clock ticks, you’ll know you’re ready to find someone who’s actually right for you – but what do you do next?

Logan advises these steps.

Experts back up the idea that life in lockdown and being faced with the threat of a devastating illness can make us reflect on what we want in our romantic relationships.

Sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni predicted that the pandemic would lead to a make or break moment for relationships, with lockdown putting bonds under greater scrutiny and daters given the space and time to think about whether their relationships are working for them.

Dr Daria J Kuss, associate professor in psychology and associate course leader MSc Cyberpsychology at Nottingham Trent University, believes living through coronavirus will cause a shift in our priorities, while psychologist Dr Hamira Riaz reckons finding a longterm partner will take on a new importance.

Dr Riaz told Metro.co.uk: ’21st-century dating provides myriad opportunities to pick and choose potential partners. Romantic relationships have become more disposable as a result.

‘Lockdown has compelled us all to more closely examine the quality of our personal lives, and I think people will put more of a premium on finding a trusted intimate to share home life with now.’

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Every woman I know has a story. Sexual harassment, and the threat of it, are daily features of most women’s lives. 

Whether that’s being unabashedly stared at for the entire duration of a Tube journey, an unwanted and unwarranted hand groping your body on a crammed rush-hour train, or being followed home. 

This is not to mention the jeers, the laughs, the comments. And the assaults that leave scars that are difficult to erase. 

These shouldn’t be persistent, universal experiences in our lives. The niggling anxiety and fight-or-flight alertness shouldn’t be as essential a feature of my commute as bringing my Oyster card. But it is.

Yet, in light of the coronavirus pandemic, an unlikely item has changed this for me: the face mask. Strapping a mask around my face on public transport, and while travelling late at night, makes me, as a woman, feel safer. As do public social distancing measures.  

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Having to wear a mask has offered a strange, unexpected sort of reprieve. It shrouds me in a cloak of anonymity. An incognito feeling. 

The stares haven’t stopped completely. In fact, Twitter is inundated with reports of catcalling and abuse despite mask-wearing, and I was still approached by a masked man pretending to be lost so he could ask for my number. 

But now I can stare back, knowing that they don’t know what I really look like; that they’ll never be able to imprint my face on their mind.  

I no longer need to shrug on my ‘resting bitch face’; my mask does the work for me. Gone, too, are the ‘cheer up love’s and the ‘give us a smile’s. It is perhaps no coincidence that new research indicates women are more likely than men to wear a mask.

The fact that social distancing means strangers can’t come near you – or shouldn’t, at least – offers further protection. Stay alert. Stay away.

Before this year, I can’t remember a time when I haven’t had a nagging – often heart-thumping – worry when leaving a party late at night, or riding a deserted Tube carriage, or crossing the street and averting my gaze when passing a group of bawdy men.   

It is not an exaggeration to say I have felt more confident walking home at night. 

I have walked where before I would have got a taxi. Whispering in the back of my mind is the thought that should someone approach me. I could cough, could say I had the virus. 

This would deter them, I assure myself. 

The phantom shadows that follow me and countless women home every day, all over the world, will be kept at bay by the menace of the virus.

I am not the only one of my female friends to voice this, nor to share these thoughts. And it speaks of a wider, more perpetual issue in society: the relentless sexual harassment and assault of women in public spaces.

Research has found that sexual harassment on public transport has soared in recent years, and a study by humanitarian organisation Plan International claims that sexual harassment is the number-one safety risk facing girls and young women worldwide.

Even within my small sphere of reference, the stories are as ubiquitous as they are untold. Should this be the norm? 

The masks, as hopefully the pandemic itself, are transitory parts of our lives. They are no long-term solution to sexual harassment.  

Nor should the onus be on women to cover themselves or change their behaviour to prevent predatory behaviour. We know that what you wear has nothing to do with whether you are a victim of harassment or not.

The fact that wearing a mask makes me feel safer as a woman is part of an endemic that will not disappear with a vaccine. It is something we must address – and face unmasked.  

There are many brilliant, hopeful campaigns fighting back against sexual assault across the world. But there is still much work to be done.   

Until then, I’ll be sat on the eternally stuffy Northern Line; no discernible air con, weary travellers with suitcases, disheveled commuters. 

Like everyone else, I’ll have my mask on, pulled up over my mouth and nose – even if it is too tight and tugging my ears into misshapen crescents.

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Wether it’s for the environment or simply because they don’t want harsh chemicals in their home, many people have been switching to more natural methods when it comes to cleaning.

And it doesn’t get more natural than this hack from a TikTok user on how to get your bath sparkling clean.

User aligrams3 shared her tip with the caption, ‘My favorite part is the smell! Makes ur bathroom smell so good afterwards!’

In the clip, she says ‘grab some grapefruit and put some sugar on the fleshy side’,

Ali then uses this abrasive surface to scrub the inside of the tub – as simple as that.

The sugar acts in the same way it would in a body scrub, lifting any dirt and soap scum. The grapefruit is an acidic substance that’ll erode away anything more stubborn.

Not to mention, it smells great.

This saves you using any harsh chemicals, so if you have young children or pets and want to be careful it’s a great alternative.

Ali’s video has now been watched over 12,000 times, with one commenter saying: ‘Omg I love the smell of grapefruit. Much better then lemon.’

This tip is also great for removing any food smells from wooden chopping boards.

You can half any citrus fruit, but instead of using sugar you’d use salt, scrubbing at the wood to absorb scents and lighten stains.

Citrus fruits really are a wonder for cleaning.

Pop half a lemon, lime, grapefruit, or whatever you want in a bowl of water in your microwave. Then, turn it on for a few minutes and wipe down the inside for a fresh-smelling appliance where burnt-on stains come off without any elbow grease whatsoever.

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As the heat turned up this weekend, some people might feel encouraged to get frisky outdoors.

Or, more specifically, for those lucky enough to have one – in the back garden.

We get it – it’s hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement, so the idea of having sex between the sheets is not all that appealing.

Neither is sweating so much that it drips down onto your partner.

There is of course the obvious solution: get some fans and point them towards the bed – but that can feel like a lot of effort.

And when your garden is just a few steps away… why not get freaky in the sun?

Before you strip off and head on outside, let’s find out exactly what kind of trouble – if any – you could get into if a neighbour or passer-by spots your dirty activities.

Is it legal to have sex in your back garden?

Having sex in your back garden is very much a grey area.

Ministers have attempted to ban back garden sex, but the bill was abandoned after accusations of ‘nannying’.

According to the Sexual Offences Act (2003), there is no specific law that says you can’t but that doesn’t mean it’s OK to have an orgy out back.

If someone spots you getting your orgasm on and reports you to the police – then yes, you can get fined or even face prosecution under other existing laws (such as outraging public decency or exposure.

Then again, if you can hide under a blanket and make no noise, you might be able to get away with it – but do this at your own risk.

‘This is a complicated area,’ says Pranav Bhanot, a litigation solicitor at law firm Meaby & Co Solicitors.

‘There are several legal provisions which could make it an offence to have sex in your back garden. Often much depends on the level of exposure the act has to members of the public and how secluded the garden is.

‘The more open and exposed the garden the more problematic this could be as a greater chance of a couple falling foul of the below provisions. 

‘Having sex in the garden could result in arrest for breaches relating to outraging public decency which is contrary to the common law. 

‘A person would also be in breach of the Public Order Act 1986 if the sexual act causes alarm or distress to members of the public.

‘It is also an offence to expose one’s genitals intentionally, which is contrary to the Sexual Offences Act 2003.

‘Whether a prosecution will follow from having sex in the garden will likely turn on how exposed or secluded the garden is to members of the public.

‘If a neighbour has sufficient evidence, this could potentially result in a prosecution.’

Use your common sense – if your neighbours are a family with young children or your fence is really short, then sex in the back garden is probably a bad idea.

Interestingly, however, having sex with the curtains open in a private dwelling is legal, even if it’s visible to the public.

That brings up a tricky question: can you have sex in your back garden if you have a garden room or other outbuilding?

Most likely, yes – as it’s technically part of the private dwelling.

That doesn’t mean you won’t get in trouble, though.

Neighbours can easily do a Land Registry search to get hold of your landlord and complain to them.

So if you’re renting – and especially if the contract is about to finish up – be careful.

It might just be worth investing in those bedroom fans after all.

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For cohabiting couples, lockdown provided a chance for them to get closer – both in and out of the bedroom.

But for single people, it meant that not only did they have to do without seeing pals, sex was off the table.

Given we’ve been in some form of lockdown for almost five months, that’s a big deal for most. So it’s understandable that masturbation habits have increased a lot, and stayed high until now.

According to Badoo, 37% of single people said they had masturbated more than usual during lockdown – an average of once a day, every week, from 23 March until now.

The dating app surveyed 1,001 people from the ages of 18 to 50, finding that 70% are worried about a second wave of Covid-19 and are therefore trying to stay at home as much as possible, and three-quarters of singles haven’t had sex at all during lockdown.

The dating app has launched an advertising campaign thanking the nation’s ‘wankers’, with Natasha Briefel, UK Marketing Director, Badoo saying: ‘We’ve seen lots of great connections being made during this period of digital courtship in lockdown, so want to encourage our users to be kind to one another, chat, meet and date honestly and safely when they’re comfortable doing so.’

Sex education charity Sexpression has launched their own campaign on the topic, encouraging people to sexually distance and focus on hygiene and safety.

Eleanor Cochrane from Sexpression told Metro.co.uk: ‘During lockdown we and our branches have been creating home RSHE resources and encouraging, in line with government distancing guidelines, #sexualdistancing.

‘Sexual distancing involves hand hygiene and sex toy hygiene during all types of sex. Masturbation alone is the safest option right now but if you ARE having sex with other people, keeping your number of partners to a minimum and avoiding group sex will reduce risk of exposure to COVID-19.’

Safety appears to be at the forefront of people’s minds, but this appears to be less the case as restrictions ease.

Boredom and relaxation are also big factors in why people are putting their hands and toys to good use

Grainne, 27, who normally masturbates around two to three time a week says: ‘I was staying at my parents house with little privacy so didn’t really feel like bothering.

‘But now I’m home in my own flat in London, it’s more of an every day or every second day kinda thing.

‘I guess it’s become a kind of self care thing, and it helps me relax/stress less.’

Alan, 23, also normally masturbates around every two or three days, but says: ‘Sometimes I go through phases of forgetting what it is/to do it and when I rediscover wanking it can easily take over my life.

‘I would say that the beginning of lockdown was definitely a period where wanking took over my life so more or less every day to begin with but I’m back to regularly scheduled programming now.’

When asked why he ramped up the self-love, Alan said: ‘Definitely boredom to begin with.

‘I think spending most of the earlier lockdown nights wine drunk doing Zoom quizzes awoke a horny demon within me, but now it has been satisfied.’

As for the future of sex and masturbation, at the moment it looks a little murky.

Despite people being worried about going out for meet-ups, Badoo’s stats show that over half (54%) of singles are not 100% sure of the official rules around inviting someone over for sex, and 33% would be tempted to have sex with someone from outside their household.

Basically, the nights alone with a candle burning and the Fifty Shade of Grey audiobook on high might be a thing of the past now people feel more sexually frustrated or less scared of the virus.

Alan continues: ‘Now I think most people have become more complacent with lockdown rules.

‘Meeting up with people every now and then has definitely taken away the need for as much solo action – so I’ll probs resume my place as a bi/tri weekly wanker.’

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As the threat of climate change grows, people are trying to find ways to make our way of live more sustainable and lessen the impact on the environment.

From councils banning meat to companies dyeing clothes with avocado stones, innovation is the name of the game.

Paris is at the forefront, with a mission to make its city greener – having just opened the world’s largest urban farm.

Located in the 15th arrondissement, at the top of the Parc des Expositions building, the 14,000-square metre space is an impressive project.

Dubbed Nature Urbaine, the farm features 30 species of plants, such as tomatoes, strawberries, aubergines, radishes and basil – some of which are grown through the help of aeroponic farming (essentially releasing a mist of nutrients, as well as utilising rainwater for the produce).

Compared to soil-based farming, this method uses 90% less water.

Once it’s fully up and running, the farm aims to produce 2,000 pounds worth’ of green goods per day, which will be (and already is) distributed to citizens and restaurants in the nearby area.

There are 140 allotment plots too, which can be used by local Parisians for the affordable price of €320 a year (about £288).

Nature Urbaine was meant to open up earlier in the year, but plans were postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic.

It officially launched in May, and the rooftop space now also has a bar and restaurant, which welcomed diners for the first time on 1 July.

You can also book educational tours and learn how to create your very own mini-farm at home.

What’s more, Paris has shared plans to launch four ‘urban forests’, smack-bang in the middle of the French capital, too.

Fingers crossed something similar pops up in the UK soon.

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Children (and adults, let’s be real) can find getting a haircut anxiety-inducing, but one barber has come up with an unconventional solution.

Gary Hemmant, from Aylsham, Norfolk, started working as a mobile barber for kids when he realised loads of his clients hated going to the salon for a trim – and lets kids sit on his bike while they get their haircut to soothe their nerves.

When the dad-of-four turned up to client’s homes on his Huoniao 125-8 motorbike, he noticed all the children were desperate to sit on the bike, so decided to make it a key part of his service.

Just being popped down on the bike gives nervous children a decent distraction, keeping them occupied and sitting still while Gary cuts their mop.

Gary said: ‘I have seen so many children over the years struggle in barber shops with noise or with the heavy-handedness of some barbers.

‘Young children can get really anxious, especially if they have special educational needs and disabilities or sensory issues.

‘I initially wanted to start a home haircutting service that takes the kids out of the busy barber shop environment and lets them find their safe space at home, be it in front of their tablets, television or even just with their favourite toys and trusted family members around.

‘It all reduces the anxiety surrounding past experiences with having a haircut or even just being about in public which can be overwhelming for anyone if they are not feeling one hundred percent that day.’

The response has been ‘amazing’, with parents and kids loving the anxiety-soothing approach.

‘I have met some truly outstanding parents who are frustrated with having to upset their kids to keep their hair from going wild or becoming another frustration in the child’s life,’ said Gary.

‘More importantly some fantastic kids who have been able to have a positive experience and really enjoy having a haircut and start on the road to wanting to have their hair cut and become more confident.

‘The motorbike is a just a mode of transport to get from one client to another but it’s been a huge hit with some of my younger and SEN/Sensory clients, something to take the anxiety of having a haircut away even briefly and weather permitting actually quite a handy seat if they want to have their hair cut on the bike itself.

‘It’s also quite liberating riding a bike myself so it lets me enjoy the commute to and from people’s houses.

Having suffered from anxiety himself, Gary wanted to help children overcome their struggles.

He has changed many professions before he found his true passion and is happy he now gets to do something he enjoys and helps children at the same time.

Now he’s planning his next project; offering free haircuts for homeless people in his area.

He added: ‘Working as a barber showed me what it was like to find something that ignites a fire in your belly and makes earning money not feel like a daily struggle.

‘I love getting to know people and watching them as people develop so to be a part of the solution for some of the problems is very rewarding for me personally and to the clients.

‘I personally have suffered with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember – now getting an opportunity to help people on another level with all sorts of medical issues has just added to that flame and made me feel like I can help people whilst doing the job I love.’

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Spanish islands like Lanzarote are popular warm weather destinations for UK tourists looking to holiday in October and The Bahamas make a fantastic warm weather destination for January escapes, but both countries are off-limits to British tourists who don’t want to quarantine at the moment due to the Covid-19 pandemic.

The Bhamas and Spain joined the likes of Andorra, Luxembourg and Serbia this week on the list of countries to visit that now require visitors to quarantine for 14 days upon their return to the UK.

Other classically warm destinations over the months of October to January, such as Australia, are also not accepting tourists into their nations at the moment to help control the spread of the virus.

So where can you travel to in October this year and January 2021 that will still have warm weather?

Where is hot in October and January?

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At the time of writing, these winter-warmer nations are all also accepting tourists from the UK:

• Antigua and Barbuda
• Aruba
• Barbados
• Bermuda
• Croatia
• Curaçao
• Cyprus
• Gibraltar
• Grenada
• Guadeloupe
• Jamaica
• Malta
• Reunion
• St Kitts and Nevis
• St Lucia
• St Vincent and the Grenadines
• Trinidad and Tobago
• Turkey
• Turks and Caicos Islands

This list is made up of countries which are all known to have warm weather in the months of October or January, with daily temperatures reaching highs of at least 21 degrees Celsius or more.

At the time of writing, you do not have to self-isolate when you arrive back in England after travelling from one of the countries or territories listed here because they are covered by the ‘travel corridor’ exemption as arranged by the UK government.

The Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) also do not currently advise against travel to any of these countries – although this advice is subject to change at any time due to the nature of the global pandemic.

Anyone considering travelling abroad should double-check the latest UK government guidelines on travel and the Covid-19 rules and regulations in the country they plan on visiting before they book a holiday. 

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James Bond fans are likely about to go wild with jealousy, as there’s a house up for sale right now that was once home to actual MI6 agents.

In fact, it was home to the man who was the real-life inspiration for the fictitious spy’s boss, ‘M’.

Plus, the £5.5 million three-bed, three-bathroom apartment also made its own cameo appearance in the latest Bond film, No Time to Die.

The property boasts 4,144 sq ft and occupies three floors of Whitehall Court in Central London, home to British spooks in the First World War.

Not to mention there’s a walk-in wardrobe, a personal library, and a large roof terrace.

The inspiration behind M was Sir Mansfield Smith-Cumming – head of MI6 during the wars – but while he lived here the place was completely secret.

He wrote in memos to colleagues: ‘Been here five weeks.

‘Absolutely cut off in the eaves from everyone while here and cannot give my address out or be telephoned to under my own name.’

The flat was so secret, it even had a bogus Post Office address and posed as a shipping company.

It was during this time the secret service would develop invisible ink, pens containing poison, and bombs disguised as rats.

The building still has the black beams and specially-hardened flooring installed by the Secret Services during the war.

It sits opposite the Ministry of Defence and was built in 1887, and was designed by architects Thomas Archer and A Green, who built a range of churches and estates across the UK during the baroque period.

Gary Hersham, Founding Director of Beauchamp Estates who are selling the property said: ‘Who doesn’t love the excitement and glamour of the Secret Services, spies, gadgets and James Bond?

‘Whitehall Court, with its Blue Plaque denoting the founding home of the British secret service is located in the heart of the government quarter and, within it, this unique penthouse, located in the eaves of the building, helps to shine a spotlight on the thrilling history of the Secret Service and the 007-style agents.’

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The end of full lockdown wasn’t quite the extravagant finale we were hoping for.

I’m drinking a lot, and I’m not sure if it’s out of celebration, commiseration, distraction or a combination of all three.

After three months on my own, the increased pressure to socialise has meant I’m finding it hard to say no to a pint. 

Socially isolated lockdown has been replaced by socially distanced lock-ins. I’m catching up with friends I’ve only seen in 2D since March and each reunion feels like a cause to raise a toast. 

But it’s meant that my liver has taken a beating and my current account has been left bankrupt.

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After a pretty heavy weekend, the emotions I felt throughout Monday (and most of Tuesday) were pretty grim. I spent the day oscillating between an anxious/manic/depressed state without really understanding why.

That was, until a level-headed friend responded to my concerns of an existential crisis with a text that simply read: ‘Nah, it’s just the booze mate’.

With local lockdowns taking effect with little notice, we want to make the most of this zenith between waves and go hard before we go home indefinitely. But we don’t want to burn out either, so it’s time to strike a healthy balance between Eating Out to Help Out and eating in to save our financial and physical resources.

Because, ultimately, the pandemic won’t be over until we have a successful vaccine and – let’s face it – that could be a long way off. In the meantime, we’re being told to keep alert and carry on making the most of eased restrictions until the inevitable second spike in cases.

It feels like we’re at a nationwide barbecue and, true to British form, we’re moving our chairs to the corner of the garden to get the most of the sunshine before the ominous cloud of the second wave takes away our limited freedom.

It’s less fireworks and celebration, more deflated balloons and a few hangers-on who say they booked an Uber an hour ago but still haven’t left.

This year has been the most unique in modern history. Coronavirus is far from the ‘great leveller’ it was touted to be back in March. As the months have passed, it’s been clear that the economic, emotional and physical impact of the virus on an individual varies from a multitude of factors.

Yet the fact remains that, collectively, we have experienced a trauma.

I’ve metamorphosed from introversion to extroversion, health kicks to over indulgence and productivity to complete inactivity

When we go through a shared experience like this, it’s tempting to compare your recovery to others. But, as governments across the globe know all too well, there’s no rule book on how to deal with a global pandemic, either as a nation, or as an individual.

No two people deal with, or express hurt in the same way. Some may have taken to the Covid experience like a duck to water. Others like a duck on water: calm on the surface while paddling like hell underneath. Many may have just ducked out altogether.

Even my individual coping mechanisms have been inconsistent. I’ve metamorphosed from introversion to extroversion, health kicks to over indulgence and productivity to complete inactivity.

The temptation is there to compare you to you. Dealing with a huge disruption in your life is an evolving thing, so don’t be too harsh on yourself if you’re going through a rough patch.

As well as going through trauma, we are also all in a state of mourning.

Over 40,000 families and friends are grieving the death of a loved one, and their experience is undoubtedly the most scarring.

Grief, too, can extend beyond death. Millions of us will be mourning the loss of jobs, relationships, money and our mental health due to the coronavirus crisis. Now that the strictest lockdown measures have passed, the ordeal is both over and ongoing.

Trauma and grief can also lead to us turning on each other, looking for a place to lay blame for our emotions. Studies have shown that on a societal level, the impact of collective trauma can lead to increased individual and national fear, damaged national pride, feelings of humiliation, identity crisis, vulnerability and heightened vigilance for new threats.

So we can be forgiven for wanting to celebrate the little wins while they last: a hug with a relative, a pint with a mate, sex with a long-distance partner. But we do so in the knowledge that these things could be taken from us if the situation deteriorates come autumn.

The feeling on the ground is one of inconsistency. April’s rules were pretty clear. August, not so much. With localised lockdowns and differing regulations across constituencies, some Britons are sticking to the rules to avoid a second wave, whilst others are simply waiving them.

However you’re getting through this, remember that it’s just as important to respect the coping mechanisms of others as it is your own. Don’t take it personally if your mate isn’t quite ready to meet for a pint, or if they don’t feel comfortable popping round for a brew, we’re all going through something, but in a technicolour spectrum of different ways.

I’m taking this limbo period as it comes. Who knows how long it will last, if more of us will face compartmentalisation in the form of local lockdowns or if a second wave will even come after all.

Either way, we know we have the resilience to get through it, because we already have, and that counts for something. 

I might as well have a drink while I’m waiting…

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It’s hot, and as such, paying a couple quid for an iced drink suddenly seems entirely reasonable.

Yes, even though we have a perfectly fine jug of ice water at home.

Knowing this, Starbucks has added a new Frappuccino flavour to their roster, made to please all those with a sweet tooth.

The newbie on the summer menu is the Peanut Butter Cup Frappuccino, an ice cold blend of peanut butter flavoured sauce and chocolatey java chips topped with whipped cream.

This will only be around for a limited time, from 6 August to 30 September, so be warned if it becomes your new regular order.

Price-wise, you’re looking at upwards of £3.45, the price for a Mini (and who orders a Mini?).

We gave the Frapp a go, and would say that if you’re a Frappuccino fan (meaning you like sugar, cream, and ice, basically), you’ll probably like this. It’s tasty, sweet, and ice-cold, so works a treat on a hot day.

But if you’re expecting a peanut butter hit like you’d get in a milkshake, you might be disappointed. This is a far more subtle flavour that sits alongside the chocolatey chips, so after the first few sips you’re not getting an overwhelming nutty sense, more an ‘ooh, this is a nice cold iced milk with bits of chocolate’.

If you’re not fussed about feeling like you’re drinking an actual mushed up spoonful of peanut butter, go ahead and get the Frapp. If you are, you might be better off just making your own version at home with all the nut butter and cookie pieces you desire.

Also on the summer menu, in case you need more options, is the Chocolate Marshmallow S’mores Frappuccino, which launched last year, was a massive hit, and is back again this summer – again, just from now ’til 30 September.

The S’mores option does contain coffee, so be warned, caffeine-free pals, but is sweet enough to feel like it doesn’t. This one is a blend of coffee, marshmallow flavoured syrup and milk chocolate sauce, topped with marshmallow whipped cream and a digestive crumb.

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Are you sweating right now? Us too.

The hot weather has arrived and people are doing everything they can to lower their body temperature.

If fans aren’t doing it for you, might we suggest moving a little higher for that gentle breeze?

To help you out, we’ve rounded up the nine best rooftop bars in London – so that you can have your cocktails and cool down, too.

Bar Elba, Waterloo

If your Instagram account has been lacking during lockdown, head to Bar Elba to fill it up with hipster-worthy snaps.

The spacious rooftop overlooks Waterloo station, and features a range of events including brunch, movie nights and afternoon tea.

You can also take in the sunset every Saturday from 7pm with two hours of unlimited booze such as beer, prosecco and cocktails.

The space can seat 600 people on a regular day, but there are now strict social distancing measures in place to protect drinkers.

Go sample the new cocktail menu, but make sure to book a table before you head down.

Frank’s Cafe, Peckham

Frank’s Cafe is back.

The popular drinking spot, which is essentially just one big rooftop car-park-turned-bar, is the perfect space to have a drink with your mates in lockdown.

As you’d expect from a venue in Peckham, it’s very artsy – with light installations dotted around the vast space, as well as a gallery on site, called Bold Tendencies.

The unobstructed view of London is unparalleled, and the food is pretty great too – with table service and a yearly-changing menu.

Frank’s has also planned in some spectacular events for coming months, including a performance from the cellist who played at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding.

And hey, if you’ve just been made redundant – the bar is also hiring right now.

Aviary, Finsbury Square

Fancy a touch of luxury instead?

Behold the Aviary, the chic bar and restaurant atop the Montcalm Royal hotel, which features both a heated outdoor terrace (like we need more heat right now), as well as an indoor rooftop drinking hole.

Sit yourself down on one of the plush chairs – the decor is very posh – and discuss the fate of the world while sipping botanical cocktails.

An excellent date spot, actually.

The Bussey Building, Peckham

And we’re back in Peckham again, with this time, at The Bussey Building.

The beautiful space is covered in floral arrangements with quirky interior details like purple Persian rugs, high bar stools and a wooden roof.

On one end, you’ve got the bar and food – courtesy of Share A Slice, with its pizza made in a fire-based oven (and there are vegan options available).

While on the other side, you can usually find the pop-up cinema hosted by Rooftop Film Club – though sadly it’s currently closed.

Instead, the Bussey Building has got other entertainment planned in the form of comedy nights, starting next weekend on 16 August with comedian Phil Wang.

Walk-ins are welcome but you’re really better off booking a table.

Skylight, Tobacco Dock

Imagine a playground, with alcohol – that’s pretty much what you can expect.

Try your hand at croquet or pétanque, or book in a cocktail master class for you and five friends.

Alternatively, just enjoy the sunshine and have a drink while relaxing to the tunes played by the DJ – who is there every Friday and Saturday.

Foodwise, you have two street food stalls to choose from; Japanese treats from Hakari or American grub from State Side – we’re especially intrigued by the Philly cheese sub, stuffed with roasted brisket.

As for coronavirus measures, it’s pretty much the same as the rest of the bars on our list: social distancing, table service only, maximum six people at every table, and you’re recommended to book in advance.

Madison, St Paul’s

On the topic of hipster versus luxury versus basic, Madison rooftop bar falls somewhere in the middle.

The food is decent, the drinks are too, but it’s like any other bar, really – except for one difference.

Punters get a stunning view of St Paul’s Cathedral, and that is not to be sniffed at (it is also the reason Madison has made it onto our list).

And hey, the venue is also on top of the One New Change shopping centre, so it could be a great day out overall.

Get some new fashion bits, order a standard G&T and relax.

Netil 360, Hackney

Netil 360 is the epitome of cool.

Then again, the bar is located in Hackney so what did you expect?

Craft and fancy draft beer from Truman Brewery, wines from all over the globe, spirits from East London Liquor Company and a millennial crowd – not bad, if hipster is your preference.

The fake grass-covered space is vast, which is optimal for lockdown drinking.

As for food, there’s nothing on site but Netil 360 has teamed up with two local restaurants who will deliver straight to your table.

Munch on organic, plant-based dishes from Palm Greens or Italian carbs from Venderi pizza.

Radio Rooftop, The Strand

On the 10th floor of the ME London hotel, you’ll find a tiny and luxurious sanctuary known as Radio rooftop.

It’s an incredibly popular spot, partly due to its 360-degree views that shows off the capital’s skyline and the River Thames, but also thanks to its superb cocktail list.

Definitely work a visit – if you don’t mind handing over your hard-earned cash, that is.

Let’s just say, a cocktail will cost you at least £17, and the cheapest bottle of wine is priced at £39.

The Queen of Hoxton, Shoreditch

The Queen of Hoxton usually offers a pretty excellent night out.

During lockdown, the downstairs bar is shut – but the rooftop is wide open.

Get your tan on while sipping on an alcoholic slushies, flirt with Shoreditch locals from afar or dig into a buttermilk chicken burger (there is a beef and vegan option, too).

There’s not much else to it really, and that’s kind of the beauty of this bar.

No muss, no fuss.

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Given how absolutely bonkers this whole pandemic has been – not to mention harrowing and hard and life-changing for many – it’s understandable that it’s a moment people want to remember.

For some people, the best way to remember something so momentous is to tattoo it into their bodies.

The trend of coronavirus tattoos is well underway, with drawings including the virus itself or pin-up girls in masks. But some have come to the belief that these tattoos will actually protect them from Covid-19.

Andres Vega, a tattoo artist from Spain, has been inking designs on clients for 21 years.

Recently he’s received several requests from doctors and nurses coming into his tattoo shop asking for Covid-19 tattoos to commemorate the struggles they faced in their profession as care workers during the pandemic.

Visit our live blog for the latest updates: Coronavirus news live

In one of his designs, Andres inked a female nurse with a mask over her face with the word ‘resiliencia’ (which means ‘resilient’ in Spanish).

Andres also recreated the iconic “We can do it!” war-time poster, with Rosie the Riveter wearing a mask to fit the coronavirus-theme tattoo.

Sydney-based tattoo artist Lance Orion Vilbro, 32, recently tattooed a client who wanted to get a Covid-19 tattoo as a permanent reminder of the struggles she faced being stuck at home during the lockdown.

Lance said he had complete freedom with the tattoo and decided to go all out and ink a quirky design he sketched.

He said: ‘It’s been my first and only serious Covid tattoo request.

‘Some people have joked about it, but Jane really came through! I think she was just sick of being stuck at home, and it had such a huge impact on day to day life.

‘This is a fun way to both take some control back and make a permanent memorable mark of this time in her life.

‘It was definitely one way to try and turn the last six months into something a little more positive.’

But, for one client of Matthew Vazquez, 22, Hawthorne, California, it meant more than just a memory.

He inked a green microscopic virus tattoo on his customer, who believed having that tattoo would protect her from the virus.

He said: ‘The person that wanted the tattoo was very confident.

‘She said if she were to get the Covid tattoo on herself she’d be protected indefinitely. She wanted to get to look back at it as a reminder that she lived through the pandemic.

‘I thought it was a great idea and kind of a cool way to look at it! Like, maybe try to look at the brighter side of things sometimes.’

Needless to say, this is not the case. There is no evidence whatsoever that a tattoo will help protect against coronavirus, and there is currently no vaccine or cure against it.

As long as you wear a mask and choose a safe place to have your tattoo, though, there’s nothing wrong with a reminder of probably the maddest thing well ever live through.

Taylor Dauvin, 27, Alberta, Canada, has created her own flash sheet of coronavirus-related designs, and says there have been loads of requests.

She says: ‘I initially made the flash sheet while I was stuck at home during the lockdown and couldn’t work.

‘I thought it would be funny more than anything, and thought that maybe some people would want a tattoo of my designs after quarantine to remember this crazy state of the world right now.

‘And that’s what people did! They said that they thought it was super funny and that it would be a tattoo with a story behind it.

‘One person said that one day they’ll be able to tell their grandkids about ‘surviving COVID-19’.

‘I am actually still getting COVID tattoo requests, the novelty hasn’t worn off yet at all.

‘I wasn’t that surprised that someone would want to get a COVID-themed tattoo.

‘People are much more relaxed about getting ‘random’ tattoos nowadays and it’s been such a life-changing experience for everyone that even if I hadn’t drawn the tattoo designs, I expected to get some requests privately.’

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The past few months have been a rare opportunity to reflect on the way we spend our time, from our pace of life to our choice of career.

For many, it’s inspired change: with hopes of doing something day-to-day that’s more fulfilling, like a public-facing role in health and social care that could make every working hour worthwhile, to someone.

While changing careers is extremely exciting – there is lots to consider, such as finding the right college and course, along with a style of learning that’s best suited to you.

The College of North West London (CNWL) in the heart of Brent is a vibrant further education college that offers a huge variety of vocational courses delivered in a way that fits with your lifestyle: whether it’s full-time study or part-time alongside work and family commitments.

But CNWL doesn’t just help those wanting to make a change – it’s an ideal place for young people just starting out in their careers, attracting 1,200 school leavers every year who are ready to unlock their potential.

Applications are already open for 2020 enrolment, so there’s no time to waste in getting started. Here’s what you need to know about training at the College of North West London.

What can I study at the College of North West London?

After Covid, our appreciation for the care sector is stronger than ever. Yet outside NHS hospitals, there are many other care settings looking for highly-skilled trained staff, including home care providers, councils and private clinics.

Health & Social Care is a popular course for those looking to retrain at the College of North West London because it doesn’t matter what level you start at. Alongside academic learning, the course offers specialist work-placements at hospitals, nurseries and daycare centres to help students to apply their knowledge first-hand.

Dreaming of a career in photography or journalism? Creative courses at the College of North West London are a fantastic way to develop skills in documentary making, design, animation, special effects and video editing to facilitate your move into media.

What about the key to a bright future in accounting, law or marketing? Studying Business at CNWL gives students the chance to take part in practical exercises and competitions designed to develop their entrepreneurial flair.

Courses in ICT also help develop skills that are in consistently high demand across the business sector, teaching everything from web design to mobile app development, and targeting learners from entry-level all the way up to degree-level.

With hundreds of courses to choose from, you’re sure to find something that will make you jump out of bed in the mornings.

After Coronavirus, what will study look like?

Ready for September, CNWL is busy adapting to the Government guidelines on teaching to ensure all learners have access to their education. Changes may include reduced class sizes and social distancing to protect the college community.

Since March, face-to-face learning has been replaced with advanced remote working, which may continue in the new academic year for some lessons.

How do I enrol for 2020?

Enrolling at the College of North West London is easy, so why wait?

Virtual open days are now available, offering you the opportunity to ‘visit’ the college from your sofa and even chat to teachers via live virtual classroom hangouts. It’s a chance to carefully consider your course options before applying online.

Enrolment begins at the end of this month and this year, the majority are expected to take place remotely. It’s advised that you enrol at the earliest opportunity to bag a spot on your desired course and move ahead with your dream career this autumn.

For more information about enrolment at the College of North West London, visit: www.cnwl.ac.uk

Just leaving school? Train for your dream career at the College of North West London

Each year, over 1,200 young people aged 16 to 18 choose to continue their studies at the College of North West London.

Not only will training shape your employability skills with real-life placements tailored to your chosen industry, it’s a fantastic launch pad to university, the working world and beyond – setting you up for a bright and exciting future, whatever you choose to be.

Study Childcare, Computing, Hairdressing or Plumbing. You can even train to be an educator yourself with the chance to obtain a QCF for teaching and learning in schools.

Alongside your further education studies, there’s also the opportunity to achieve essential English and Maths qualifications, which will set you on the right path for your dream career.

So, what are you waiting for? Apply now at: www.cnwl.ac.uk

Lockdown has given us plenty of time to think about what’s next. Now that the restrictions are starting to relax, it feels like the ideal time to put those wheels in motion.

Whether you want to be an accountant or a fashion designer, cabin crew or a social care worker, choosing the right place to train is the first step to making a meaningful change in your future.

At City of Westminster College (CWC), based in the heart of Central London, there are over 200 courses across vocational and academic subjects to help you turn those dreams into a reality.

Train in IT, business, sport or construction, or sign up for a wealth of exciting apprenticeship opportunities, which help you to launch straight into your ideal career.

For the third year in a row, CWC has been named Central London’s Top Vocational College, attracting school leavers and adults from all across the capital to pursue their brightest future.

And there’s no time to waste in securing your place because applications are already open. Here’s what you need to know about training for your dream job at CWC, right now.

What courses are on offer at City of Westminster College?

Courses are available to all ages, although a large number of the intake are 16-18 year olds, who may dive right into further education or benefit from the opportunity to complete GCSE-level English or Maths alongside their study at City of Westminster College.

Popular vocational courses include engineering and construction, where students can develop their English, Maths and employability skills to reach their full potential in the industry. The newly-refurbished Maida Vale Campus is where the majority of formal teaching takes place.

The award-winning Paddington Green Campus is where the Media magic happens. With state-of-the-art facilities, including a Mac editing suite, darkroom and photography studio, plus TV, radio and recording studios, City of Westminster College is a fantastic place to develop academic and practical skills in digital editing, radio, animation and photography. Purpose-built commercial theatre, The Cockpit, in Marylebone is also the ideal place for CWC’s Arts students to nurture and showcase their talents.

Business training at CWC could also be the key to a career in accounting, law or marketing with the chance to take part in real-world projects, like market research for companies such as Timberland and Vans, or receive guest lectures from Google or Amazon specialists. While a career in health and social care is well-supported by a range of specialist work placements in the care industry.

After Coronavirus, what will study look like?

Since March, classroom-taught courses have been delivered to the highest standard remotely, to help reduce the spread of coronavirus.

While some classes may continue online in September, a return to the Edgware Road, Paddington, Marylebone and Maida Vale campuses is expected in the new academic year with additional safety measures in place, which include reduced class sizes and social distancing.

Alongside it all, you’ll have the support of an academic tutor who will be with you every step of the way.

How can I enrol at City of Westminster College?

Applications for 2020 are already being accepted! There’s no time to waste in applying for your dream career, either via UCAS or online.

Enrolment begins at the end of this month and this year the majority are expected to take place remotely. It’s advised that you enrol at the earliest opportunity to bag a spot on your desired course. So, what are you waiting for?

For more information about enrolment at City of Westminster College, visit: www.cwc.ac.uk

Contemplating a career change? Retrain at City of Westminster College

Over 8,000 students choose to study at City of Westminster College every year – but not all of them are just starting out.

The pandemic has put a strain on a wide range of industries, encouraging many workers to reconsider their career choices and return to education, whether they’re out of work or simply seeking a more fulfilling job.

At City of Westminster College, there is a wealth of opportunities – and support – for changing industry entirely, whether it’s a rewarding role in health and social care or a bright future in teaching.

From higher education courses to NVQs and Apprenticeships, CWC helps deliver the first step towards your new dream career in a way that suits your lifestyle, whether that’s part-time evening classes or short courses.

To secure your spot on a course that could shape your future, enrol today at www.cwc.ac.uk

Getting a good night’s sleep can feel particularly difficult during the summer with long, light evenings coupled with allergies to deal with on top of the hot weather. 

With heatwaves rolling over the UK more frequently and summer temperatures reaching previously unseen highs, sleeping well during the warmest months of the year is becoming increasingly difficult. 

If you struggle to sleep in the heat, leading sleep expert James Wilson (also known as, ‘The Sleep Geek’) has shared some top tips on how to sleep in hot weather this summer below.

How to sleep in hot weather

‘Our temperature is incredibly important to good quality sleep as a drop in heart rate and drop in core temperature are part of the process the body goes through when readying for sleep,’ James explains.

‘The hot weather impacts on our ability to do both. Below are some tips on how to get the best sleep possible when the nights are hot.’

Allow the air to flow

While keeping the windows in your bedroom open might be fairly obvious if the room is warm, James advises that keeping your room door open and windows in other rooms of your home will allow more air to flow around the space – and keep everything as cool as possible:

‘Ensure there is a good airflow through the house so open windows on both side to allow the air to pass through.’

 Keep the heat out

‘Close blinds and curtains in rooms that are exposed to direct sunlight. The shade will help the room stay cooler,’ James says.

It’s important to do this early on in the day, so that when the sun is at its highest and hottest in the middle of the day, the rooms in your home stay as cool as possible.

 Have a cool bath or shower before bed

Having a cool (or if you can stand it, cold) bath or shower before going to bed will encourage your core temperature to drop, meaning that you won’t be as hot before getting in to bed and will hopefully find it easier to drift off to sleep, even if it’s a warm evening. 

Or, James suggests: ‘Put lukewarm water in a hot water bottle and place the soles of your feet on it. This will raise your temperature slightly and then it will drop, helping your body prepare for sleep.’

 Turn your fan into DIY air conditioning

‘If using a fan, place a bowl of chilled water in front of it to cool the stream of air it is pushing round the room,’ James advises. 

Alternatively, we’ve also tried placing a bowl of ice cubes in front of a fan and it’s had the same effect – instantly cooling the air being moved by the fan.

 Try not to overthink it

James says that the ‘biggest thing that prevent us sleeping in hot weather is the thought “I am too hot to sleep”’ 

‘My advice would be to accept that you might not sleep quite as well, but that it will probably be over in a couple of days and your body will more than likely make up for the poor sleep by giving you better quality sleep.’ 

So, if you can help it, try not to think about it too much. Listen to calming music, a podcast, or an audio book to help take your mind off the heat and help you drift off to sleep. Avoid watching TV or looking at something on a screen, as this will keep you awake for a whole different reason!

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We regret to inform you that you’ve (probably) been storing your ice cream all wrong.

In truly shocking news, Ben & Jerry’s has declared that their tubs should be stored in the freezer upside-down, meaning the lid side goes downwards and the bottom of the tub goes up.

This isn’t simply a matter of aesthetics.

The ice cream brand says that this method of storage is an essential tip for defeating freezer burn – that nasty phenomenon when you get chunky ice crystals on top of your sweet trea.

They explain that freezer burn occurs when moisture leaves the ice cream and ‘joins forces with moist ambient air’, refreezing on the ice cream’s surface and damaging the flavour and texture of the cream.

This is especially likely to occur if you get your ice cream tub out of the freezer to thaw, serve yourself a big scoopful, then forget to put the tub back into the freezer for a bitm meaning partially melted ice cream has to refreeze.

And apparently, inverting the tub is an easy trick to prevent this happening.

On their website, Ben & Jerry’s say: ‘This trick is a little risky (and potentially messy), so ensure you have a tightly fitting lid before attempting. Ok, ready? Flip your partially melted pint upside down before refreezing.

‘This causes the melted ice cream to drip onto the lid where it has less chance of ruining the still-cold portion.’

Smart, right?

Other tips for tackling the burn include making sure your freezer is cold enough, – you want it below 0°F or -17°C – never microwaving your ice cream in an attempt to thaw it, and storing ice cream at the back of the freezer so warm air doesn’t rush straight to your tub every time you open the door.

When the weather is as hot as it is now, ice cream takes on a renewed importance, and the last thing you want is your carefully selected treat to go gross due to a freezer-related mishap. Heed this advice.

Do you have a story or an essential life hack to share?

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How do you find the perfect foundation shade?

It’s a question that has plagued us for years, with recommendations to check your veins for your undertone and run out of stores to see your skin in natural light popping up in the pages of magazines with a drumbeat regularity.

Could the secret lie in an online quiz?

Here at Is It Worth The Faff, our weekly series where we review hyped up beauty products and treatments, we’re here to find out, by testing out the Il Makiage PowerMatch Quiz you’ve likely had promoted at you on Instagram for months now.

What is the Il Makiage PowerMatch Quiz?

Okay, so Il Makiage is an internet-focused makeup brand that made its way over to the UK back in May 2020, selling everything from lip colour to eyebrow shapers.

Their big seller is their Woke Up Like This Foundation, which has over 90,000 glowing reviews, in large part due to the brand’s PowerMatch Quiz.

The idea of the quiz is simple: rather than faffing around testing swatches in a store, Il Makiage just asks you a few questions online to figure out your perfect shade… without ever needing to see your face.

A major draw is that if the quiz gets it wrong, you can return the foundation you order after 60 days

Faff involved

Let’s be real – anything you can do in your bed, unshowered and staring at your phone, is going to be less faff than going to a department store and physically trying on different foundations until you find a match.

But this really is very faff-free – you answer a few questions (around 15 or so, but they’re super quick); a mix of questions about your skin type and coverage needs and photo references to choose which one looks more like you.

For many questions, such as ones about your undertones, there are ‘I don’t know, help’ options – so even if you’re completely clueless, you’ll get a match.

All in all, the quiz takes a couple of minutes, max, then you’ll get your ideal foundation shade emailed over to you.

The quiz is free but obviously you do have to pay for the foundation, which is £36. If you do end up returning your shade, you’ll need to cover postage.

The results

Despite answering a load of questions with ‘I don’t know’, the quiz still managed to match me with the right shade – the Woke Up Like This Flawless Base Foundation in shade #60.

When it arrived, I was honestly stunned at how perfect a match it was. I usually find foundation-picking a nightmare because I have a slightly yellowish tint and can end up looking orange – this one is a perfect match.

The formula is pretty dreamy too, blending in easily whether you use fingers, a sponge, or a brush, and feels super hydrating thanks to vitamin E and hyaluronic acid in the mix.

One thing I did notice is that my skin shone with oil by the end of the day, so oily types, you’ll need a great mattifying primer and plenty of setting powder.

But I can imagine if you have a tendency towards dry skin, you’ll love this.

The quiz recommended a concealer for me, too, which I bought and found was also a great match.

Is the Il Makiage PowerMatch Quiz and Woke Up Like This foundation worth the faff?

Yes, 100% – because there’s so little faff involved. The quiz is easy and mindblowingly accurate, and on the off-chance the shade isn’t quite right, you can just go ahead and return the foundation after trying it out.

The formula might not work out for you – those prone to super oily skin might not be fans – but a 60-day returns period means you’ll have sufficient time to figure that out, then you’ll only be out around a fiver to send it back.

For anyone who dreads going to a department store to get their match (those bright lights! The indignity of having someone stare at your bare skin!), this is a genuinely reliable option that makes makeup shopping a dream.

Do you have a story to share or a product you want us to review?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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When baby Zayne Caldwell arrived eight weeks early, his parents Renata Freydin, 34, and David Caldwell, 33, were anxious about what lay ahead.

But their worries were soothed when they discovered Zayne was being cared for by NICU nurse Lissa McGowan, who had cared for the baby’s dad, David, 34 years before.

David had also been born premature at the same hospital, and fondly remembered his mum’s stories of ‘wonderful nurse Lissa’.

The parents only realised the same nurse was looking after their son when they dug an old family album out of storage, to see which parent the newborn resembled.

They couldn’t believe it when they saw a photo of Lissa cradling David – and took a matching photo with Zayne.

Their baby is now happy and healthy and at home – and this week Lissa retired from Saint Peter’s University Hospital in New Brunswick, New Jersey, after 39 years service.

Proud Renata, a nail technician from Edison, New Jersey, said: ‘The time was filled with worries and uncertainty, but we could breathe easy knowing his nurse is the same one that helped David.

‘She was amazing and to have her care for Zayne was amazing.

‘We couldn’t believe it when we found out.

‘There was a photo of Lissa holding David.

‘I was like “wait a minute”. I had only met her two days earlier. I got chills.

‘I knew it was her right away and I ran to show David and didn’t even have to say anything – he saw it was her straight away too.

‘His mother had loved her to much, she wanted to take a picture of the two of them before she left.’

When the parents took the photo in to show Lissa, she was overjoyed.

They think the coincidence was a sign David’s late mum Ida was watching over them.

Renata added: ‘Lissa was so kind and not just to baby, but to us as well.

‘No question was too much – and she often answered them before we had even asked.

‘It was very emotional. David was thinking it was a sign his mum was saying “everything will be ok” – and it was.’

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The first time I met Joe* he was abrupt, bordering on rude.

It was his daughter’s birthday party and I was dropping off my eldest girl for the afternoon. I stood on the front step clutching her hand, and when the door suddenly swung back, we were met by the scowling face of an obviously irritated, but handsome, man.

I remember smiling tentatively and asking if we were at the right address. Without a word, the door was slammed in my face.

A minute later, the door reopened and Joe’s wife Steph* was standing there with a strained smile on her face as she welcomed my daughter inside.

As I made my way back to the car I thought about Joe’s obnoxious reaction – it was safe to say that he had made an impression. I glanced back at the house to see him watching me as I walked away. Apparently, so had I.

It would still take another three years before anything happened between us.

I was 30 when we met and had been married to Liam* for eight years, with four young children. Liam worked in construction and 14 hour days were the norm. I wasn’t particularly unhappy, but I wasn’t blissful either.

Through our children, Steph and I had become fast friends, socialising together both with and without our husbands.

Joe was an enigma to me, the mean and moody type, and just like the cliché, I was smitten straight away. Just a few months after that first meeting on the doorstep, intrigue had manifested into full blown attraction. 

I never planned to act on my growing feelings – it never even occurred to me. It was like a deliciously private secret that was all mine.  

One night, we found ourselves the last two left after a celebration with a group of mates. Steph had gone home after one too many glasses of wine, leaving Joe and I to finish our drinks. The air between us became charged with tension. 

We stumbled through some inconsequential small talk before finally leaving to make our way home to our respective houses. Walking back, Joe stopped and his intense stare made it clear to me what was about to happen. Seconds later we found ourselves kissing passionately.

We discussed the possibility of a future together but our lives were so intertwined it seemed impossible

When we finally pulled apart I had no hesitation in taking him home. My house happened to be empty; I felt like it was fate.

When I woke the next morning, Joe was gone and I was overwrought with shame and fear. I was scared of being discovered, and riddled with anxiety at the thought of facing Steph and my husband.

Joe felt the same, but it didn’t last long. Within a few days we were both consumed with the need to see each other again. 

Our initial shame was quickly replaced by reckless self-indulgence. In an attempt at self preservation, I tried my utmost not to think of the children or our spouses. It caused paralysing guilt when I did.

Joe and I embarked on a year-long affair, throughout which we became masters at compartmentalisation. 

I managed to sneak away at least once a week to meet him in hotels – far enough away to avoid suspicion but close enough that I could get home to the children quickly if needed. 

We also spoke at least three times daily over the phone, and our morning call quickly became the highlight of my day.

Each time we parted it became more difficult. We discussed the possibility of a future together but our lives were so intertwined it seemed impossible. 

Meanwhile, I had convinced myself that I was maintaining my façade at home. I was wrong. 

Neither Joe nor I were as talented as we had thought in the art of deception and both our spouses had become suspicious. They had both noticed small changes in our behaviour and it had been enough for them to have a conversation where they discussed their fears at length.

One night after dinner, Liam finally confronted me. My silence spoke volumes and in a fit of rage he slapped me hard across the face before storming out to confront Joe. 

I was stunned. Liam had never been violent towards me before and despite the circumstances, I was petrified of what would happen when he got to Joe. 

As it transpired, Liam stopped off in a local garage on his way to Joe’s just as Joe pulled into it, having received my emergency text that trouble was coming. From what I was told, there was one punch and even fewer words before Liam marched out, leaving Joe hanging his head in shame.

The next few weeks were a blur. Before I had an opportunity to sit the children down and explain the situation, Liam blurted out the whole sordid affair, leaving them confused and frightened. 

I knew deep down that I was deserving of all the upset and the trauma, but it was the children, who were innocent, who paid a hefty price for my actions

He felt they had a right to know and wanted them to hate me as much as he did. It didn’t work. While confusion reigned for a long time, I was their mother and they loved me.

I didn’t abandon them either, unlike their father. 

Liam left our home a broken man. He went abroad citing new business opportunities and in many ways I was relieved, until I slowly realised that he was never coming back.

He cleaned out all our bank accounts before he left, so we were penniless and later lost our home. His children never saw him again.

I knew deep down that I was deserving of all the upset and the trauma, but it was the children, who were innocent, who paid a hefty price for my actions.

The first few years were unbearably tough for them but they have overcome their anger and now just feel pity for their father. 

Through everything, Joe was there. He had moved out of his home a few days after our deception had been uncovered and slowly but surely we navigated our way through the fallout.

His children were just as confused as mine, their loyalty obviously lying with their heartbroken mother. It took a long time for them to even look me in the eye but eventually they came to accept me. Seeing their mother heal played a big part in that. 

Joe and I moved in together after seven years of being a couple, which took a lot of getting used to. I had been living on my own with the children for so long that cohabiting was something of a challenge for both of us. Still, we worked through it, and now we have plans to build our own house and finally have our forever home.

Steph never spoke to me again apart from spitting in my face at the school gates one day as our children looked on. The friendships between the children ultimately survived and they now jokingly refer to each other as ‘step-siblings’. 

Thankfully, Steph has since found happiness with another man and for that I am glad. The divorce was harsh and she and Joe rarely speak beyond the odd text regarding their children, which is probably for the best. There has been too much hurt on all sides.  

Is it true love between me and Joe? I believe it is. We have been through more trauma in 10 years than anyone should face in a lifetime and while we are still ashamed of our actions, and I regret absolutely the hurt that we caused, I still have the innate feeling that we were supposed to be together, corny as it sounds.

Maybe our true love for one another will never be enough, though. Our actions threw so many lives into chaos, and the recovery has been slow and tortuous. 

I had a conversation with Joe’s daughter recently and she confided in me that it was only worthwhile if her father and I were in it for the long haul. 

The idea of her father destroying their family over a short-lived fling filled her with resentment, but true love – she could handle that.

*Names have been changed

Last week in Love, Or Something Like It: Being a fat Black woman hasn’t ruined my love life – it’s saved it

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