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Angry turkey and kookaburra photobomb couple’s wedding pictures

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(Picture: David Stowe/Magnus News Agency)

When it comes to your wedding day, you have to embrace the unexpected.

Maybe the zip on your dress will break. The cake will be a tiny bit lopsided. You’ll mess up your vows, one of you will be hungover, and your first dance will be stiff and uncomfortable.

Remain calm. Breathe. None of these unexpected little things will ruin a wedding – they’ll only make the day more memorable.

Prepare for things to go wrong, and laugh when they do.

Take inspiration from this couple.

They probably couldn’t have predicted that their wedding photos would get interrupted by two birds squabbling. But that’s what happened, they remained calm, and their photos… Read the full story

How normal is it to have a sexless marriage?

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metro illustrations
YOU FELL ASLEEP? (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

When you get married, people start making jokes about your sex life. 

Or rather, your lack of one.

Not the people I choose to hang out with, but the friend-of-friend types. People you meet at parties. Semi-strangers who’ve had a couple of drinks and think that it’s suddenly okay to tell you that as soon as the wedding dress comes off, you’re practically celibate.

Perhaps there is a ring of truth to it. After you’ve got married, been together for a while and especially once you have children, perhaps sex is different.

But that doesn’t mean it’s non existent.

Expecting women to ‘Ride or Die’ is so boringly lame

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(Illustration: Deirdre Spain for Metro.co.uk)

Ride or Die has been used in rap since time immemorial to describe a woman who’s willing to stick with a dude, regardless of how badly he f*cks up.

Type Ride or Die into Spotify and you get well over 400 results of songs describing a time when some bloke was high or on the run – but was fine because they had their ever loyal slice with them.

It doesn’t matter if he’s in the nick on a 10-year drug sentence, or if he’s been caught with his pants down, the Ride or Die chick remains solid, immovable.

She’s fine with stashing cash or wraps under a mattress away from… Read the full story

London hosts the first ever Modest Fashion Festival this weekend

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(Picture: Sobia Shah/Instagram)

Modest fashion is really having a moment in this country.

While it’s obviously been huge in places like Dubai for yonks, modest clothing in the UK has often been written off as boring, conservative, specialist.

Thanks to Instagram and YouTube, however, we’ve had more access to modest fashion bloggers and dressing ideas than ever.

And this weekend, the first ever Modest Fashion Festival took place at the Grosvenor House Hotel in London.

Founded by doctor Fahreen Mir and human rights barrister Sultana Tafadar, the event was a celebration of luxury and modern brands, complete with headscarves and robes.

Instagram Photo

Read the full story

We tried a home sperm test so that you don’t have to

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(Illustration: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

‘Darling?’ I asked my husband last week. ‘I need you to take a home sperm test. For work.’ 

Understandably he seemed confused. But the nice people at YO, a home sperm test company, had been generous enough to supply me with a test for review, and while I’m a very talented young woman, one thing I can’t do is produce sperm.

Which is how we found ourselves standing in the kitchen on a Thursday afternoon waiting for the timer to hit 0:00, and to find out just how many viable swimmers my husband has.

We tried a home sperm test… Read the full story

‘You drained me of everything I had’– An open letter to my Crohn’s Disease

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I wish I could tell you to go away (Picture: Charlotte Cockell for Metro.co.uk)

Dear Crohn’s Disease,

I was just four years old when you started causing mayhem in my body.

You foraged your way into my gut, pushed blood out of places blood should not escape and drained me of everything I had.

What it feels like to live with chronic fatigue, from an IBD sufferer

I hadn’t even started school and you were on a mission to ravage my insides. You ulcerated my large intestine beyond repair and stripped me of all nutrients.

How could you start so early? How could you be so unforgiving,… Read the full story

Where to buy the cheapest Halloween pumpkins – Morrisons, Asda and Tesco compared

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Things to do in London this Halloween with the kids
(Picture: National Trust/Chris Lacey)

Decorate your home the traditional way this Halloween by dotting some spooky Jack o’ Lanterns around for the trick-or-treaters to see.

We tried a home sperm test so you don't have to

The seasonal excitement sometimes cloud consumer’s judgement as they see a pumpkin and immediately go to stock up for their festive carving artwork experience but pay little attention to the price.

You will see the Halloween squashes lined up as you enter every supermarket in the run-up to Halloween and refrain from brainstorming your carving ideas as you pick them up… Read the full story

Please applaud Strudel the obese dog’s inspiring journey of weight loss and self-discovery

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(Picture: Hearts For Hounds)

Meet Strudel.

Strudel was once an obese golden retriever mix, struggling to walk, run, play, and even breathe as she should.

Then Kristy and John Cotthaus, owners of dog training business Zoom Room Virginia Beach, found out about Strudel’s struggles. They were determined to help.

Strudel had been taken in to Hearts for Hounds following the death of her elderly owner, who’d been drastically overfeeding her beloved dog.

Strudel weighed in at nearly six stone. She was struggling to walk, had inflamed joints, and was clearly finding life difficult.

Plus size woman explains why she feels more confident than she did as a size 10

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(Picture: Mediadrumworld)

When you’ve been on a massive diet, reached your goal weight, and then put some of it back on, you normally feel pretty low.

But not Ioana Chira.

She says that she’s more confident now as a size 14 than she was at her thinnest.

Initially weighing over 18st, she embarked on an ‘extreme diet’ which saw her shedding five stone and getting down to a size 10.

But, Ioana says, being slim didn’t make her happy and she’s since put back some of the weight to get up to 16st – and says she’s much happier being that weight.

Originally from Romania, Ioana started gaining weight after it became obvious that she wasn’t going… Read the full story

Mental illness is not a Halloween costume

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It’s nearly Halloween, and thus, it’s time for annual reminders of what is and what is not an appropriate being to dress up as on 31 October.

This should go without saying, but because every bloody year someone does it, it bears repeating: Blackface is never, ever okay. Wait, even if – no. Never. Ever.

Also not cool – dressing up as any race or culture, because funnily enough, someone else’s culture is not something you get to dress up as for lols.

Don’t dress up as a real-life murderer. Don’t dress up as Anne Frank.

And I’d like to add another concept to that list: Don’t dress up as someone mentally ill.

I’m not talking about fictional villains who could maybe have done with some intensive CBT. I’m talking about mental illness as a costume.

‘Psycho’ costumes. ‘Schizo’ costumes. Split personality costumes. The general ‘escaped from the nuthouse’ costume.

Anything involving a straitjacket. Anything with ‘crazy’ in the name. Dressing… Read the full story

Where is hot in March? Start planning your spring holidays now

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Life Guard seat or hut on a deserted white sand beach in Cuba (Picture: Getty)

The idea of springtime in Britain is often romanticised, as people await the moment their feet thaw after winter, but many of us struggle to feel our extremities until April and need to get out of the country for our own safety.

Expecting women to 'Ride or Die' is so boringly lame

March is the perfect time to make a quick getaway as the prices are low and the enjoyment is just as high, as you can happily fly away from the gloomy British weather.

The un – you know that bright shiny… Read the full story

Why Metro.co.uk is signing the mental health media charter

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(Picture: Rubyetc)

You may have noticed (hopefully) that we write about mental health quite a bit.

We’re keen to take down the stigma around mental illness, get people to feel comfortable asking for help and act as proof that, if you’re struggling with mental illness, you’re not alone.

That’s why we publish so many personal pieces about mental health, why we have the Getting Better series, and why we launched Mentally Yours, a weekly podcast on all things mental health.

That’s also why we’re signing up to the new mental health media charter, created by Natasha Devon.

We’re not perfect, and as a publication there have likely… Read the full story

We’ve really got to stop accusing people of being ‘attention seekers’

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metro illustrations
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

‘She’s not really anorexic,’ a friend said to me years ago, about a friend in our school year. ‘She’s just attention seeking.’ 

Apparently the fact that the girl in question was starving herself, weighed almost nothing, and was covered in a film of fluffy hair didn’t make her anorexic. She wasn’t trying hard enough to hide it, so it couldn’t be real.

The trial by teenagers was complete. She had been found guilty of attention seeking and her sentence was that she would be ignored.

It was a theme that I found myself knocking up against time and time again. ‘She’s not a proper self harmer’ was another favourite criticism… Read the full story

19 sausage dog outfits for Halloween

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(Picture: Maluka and Avalon, Kate Olivia Hislop, Imgr, Instagram)

Sausage dogs LOVE Halloween.

Mainly because of all the extra food going around – but also all the attention and sausage cuddles as the weather gets colder.

Things to do in London this Halloween with the kidsWhere to buy the cheapest Halloween pumpkins – Morrisons, Asda and Tesco compared

With Halloween parties pretty much going on all weekend (the 31st is a weekday this year) little sausage might as well get involved as well.

And that means finding the perfect costume… and there are LOADS of brilliant ones to chose from.

Some might need a bit of… Read the full story

If you want to have a good snooze on your morning commute, try this weird eye mask

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(Picture: Studio Banana)

Sometimes, no matter how far you’ve got to travel or how tired you are, it can be impossible to fall asleep on the tube.

Why? Because it’s got the most horrendous lighting and it’s packed full of arseholes who insist on playing drum & bass really loudly through their headphones so you’ve a background playlist of tst-tst-tst to plague your mind.

It’s the seventh circle of hell.

You need something to block all the noise and light out. Something to fool your brain into thinking it’s back in bed, away from the chaos and despair.

Something like this odd, knitted blackout mask.

The Ostrich Pillow Loop is currently being crowdfunded and… Read the full story

What is the nicest way to dump someone? We get tips from a relationship psychologist

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metro illustrations
Is this kind enough? (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Tell them they’re pretty as you close the bin lid? No, not that kind of (illegal, my friends) dumping.

We’re talking ditching. Breaking-up.

Here’s the crap they don’t tell you about first dates

Giving them the Spanish archer (‘El Bow’. FYI: That is hilarious).

Yes, it ain’t pleasant to realise you’re not ‘feeling it’ anymore – and that ‘oh God, I’ve got to end this’ tummy drop is sickening.

No, being the dumper is not at all pleasant – but try being the dumpee. Especially in these days of ghosting. *Shudders*

The least you can do… Read the full story

Single mum says her online date turned her down because she wipes her son’s bottom

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(Picture: Mercury Press)

Well, this is out of order.

Single mum Chloe says she was chatting to a man called Chris on Plenty of Fish (that’s a popular dating app, if you’re too loved up to know) when he unceremoniously dumped her when she mentioned her one-year-old son, Noah – because ‘f*** being with someone who cleans someone’s ass’.

Right then.

Chloe says that Chris had asked her to tell him more about herself – so naturally, she mentioned her son.

Despite apparently showering Chloe with jokes and praise moments before, Chris didn’t react too kindly to the news that his potential date had a son, responding: ‘You wipe your child’s ass when he’s had a… Read the full story

Halloween health and safety: Trick or treating with a nut allergy

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No nuts, please! (Picture: Getty)

Halloween – AKA the holiday of sweets – is fast approaching, and for most children, it is one of the most exciting nights of the year.

However, for children with nut allergies, and their parents, it can also be one of the most terrifying.

10 things you’ll only know if you have a nut allergy

The fear that Halloween brings has nothing to do with ghosts and ghouls, but the fear that they may suffer a serious allergic reaction.

For some children, all it takes is touching a sweet (or even sweet wrapper) that has nuts in it or has come into contact with… Read the full story

When is the Day of the Dead and why is it celebrated?

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All Saints Day explainer
Mexican family members light candles and pray at the cemetery to honour their deceased relatives during the Day of the Dead (Picture: Getty)

The Day of the Dead or Día de Los Muertos is a Mexican holiday that is celebrated on November 2 every year.

Even though the festival is called the Day of the Dead, it is truly a celebration of life as it reinforces the idea that life is short and young children should not fear death.

If you want to have a good snooze on your morning commute, try this weird eye mask

Children learn that there is a circle… Read the full story

No amount of sex will make your vagina ‘loose’

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(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

According to a survey of 5,500 people by Forktip.com, one of the thing that women most want to hear from a man she’s having sex with is ‘you’re so tight’. 

‘You’re so tight’.

For the avoidance of doubt, women are saying that they’re hoping to be complimented on the muscular elasticity of their vaginas by the person who is having sex with them. So we need to have a little chat about vaginal tightness.

The idea that your vagina could get loose from sex was something I remember being worried about as a teenager. ‘She must be SO loose’ was the standard insult you’d throw around about a girl who… Read the full story

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